Right before recording, we said, “let’s remember to be dumb,” then we were smart for like, 10 minutes straight. We’re sorry. We made up for it with bad Chewbacca impressions. Nouhou is a New HouMan and relaxed Arreaga has way less waggin’. Let’s hope the Nico-less in Seattle Sounders Football Club can prove major league soccer soccer dot com dot com right. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices....
Apr 14, 2021•40 min•Season 4Ep. 5
Looks like the band is back together, and by band we mean two dudes who used to do magic in Utah. Fredy Montero is teaching Nouhou how to wax, Ruidiaz gets his green card, and Arreaga gets his red card (probably). TLDL - don’t be the third guy to get bonked. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 08, 2021•43 min•Season 4Ep. 4
This is the same episode as yesterday but without cutting Branden off mid-sentence. The injustice, we know! Anyway, thanks/sorry but what were you expecting from this show?! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mar 27, 2021•44 min•Season 4Ep. 3
This kit is #hot, it’s our bodies that are #garbage. Haterz gonna hate, but Sounders gonna cash in on a son about the history of the wars on Neptune. Look, we’re gonna be honest, we spend a lot of time talking about this wizard bird kit and a little bit of time talking about how we aren’t over the fact Danny Leyva WAS ROBBED. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.c...
Mar 26, 2021•44 min•Season 4Ep. 3
LIBERTY LIBERTY LIBERTY CLAP CLAP CLAP. We finally figured out what Zulily does, and finally, a review that *gets* us. It’s impossible to tear your hamstring in Canada (because you end up tearing something else). Go get a cup of Fredy’s coffee, and listen to our garbage. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mar 18, 2021•38 min•Season 4Ep. 2
We’re back, and we’re so sorry. We finally found the megazord of Branden and Gregr’s favorite sports (and the athletes even look like Power Rangers), plus we prove just how little we know about what happened in the Sounders offseason! God I hope we bleeped everything. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mar 04, 2021•38 min•Season 4Ep. 1
The offseason abyss is upon us, but not until we figure out a Nouhou way to make money, one suitable for your resume. We talk all the players who are coming back (like Jowel Paulo), the ones who are leaving, and the ones who are starting their own consulting firms in 2021. BRB - figuring out how to waste your time with new episodes this offseason. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ht...
Dec 15, 2020•47 min
The Combination DJ Schmetz House Muzik/Taco Time went BANANAS last night and we’re going to the Cup! Minnesota got all Fartland leaky in the end and Big Bill Energy took over. We spent way too much time talking about actual soccer but at least our wives aren’t mad at us! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Dec 08, 2020•49 min•Season 3Ep. 36
Top o’ the mornin’ to Shane O’Neill and ABSOLUTELY NOBODY ELSE. The man who we all expected to carry us into playoff glory...checks notes… Shane O’Neill used his noggin to secure yet another berth into the Water Closet Finals. It’s a good thing he’s a big boy because that green screen jersey is gonna sell SO MANY ADS. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adcho...
Dec 02, 2020•46 min•Season 3Ep. 35
We've got an idea to really anger the "football" purists that quickly gets wiener-y and then we basically spend an entire episode hashing out the existence of commentator Taylor Twellman. One of our shows got cancelled but it's not the one about ol' crazy legs - #ThatsSoNouhou. Sure glad it wasn't him with the #NouFlu... or is it #FluHou? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://pod...
Nov 26, 2020•40 min•Season 3Ep. 34
Would you rather fight 100 LAFC size FC Friscos or 1 FC Frisco size LAFC? Some guy older than Ichiro bought into the Sounders because his wife loves Macklemore, and Hodor Dame gets a new logo. It’s a slow news week, ok? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Nov 19, 2020•53 min•Season 3Ep. 33
Seattle managed to claw back second place in the Western Conference with a big win on hashtag Decision Day double hashtag dollar sign, but could it have been better to be bested by Fartland and their farts? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Nov 11, 2020•14 min
Is Brian Schmetzer about to get paid or get let go (and do you want to win Branden’s new house)? Sounders play twice in the post-election dystopia that makes about as much sense as how they are deciding the MajorLeagueSoccerdotcom.com standings. Put your green screen mask over your bald head and dive in to this week’s new pod. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices....
Nov 04, 2020•41 min•Season 3Ep. 31
King of the Mountain Sounders FC made the playoffs for the 12th time in 10 years playing against Vancouver Montero in Portland (past Branden and Gregr are very confused). FIFA 21 is ALL OVER THE PLACE with their characters, but at least they got the neck tattoos right (and oo la la Cristian Roldan can GET IT). Also, we have a website now so @ us next time - full90podcast.com To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more abo...
Oct 29, 2020•47 min•Season 3Ep. 30
Get off the ATV that turns into a helicopter that Obafemi Martins bought for you and listen to this podcast. Mauro Rosales gives expert medical attention, and expert medical attention is what all four of our left backs need. Jordan Morris, on the other hand, needs a rest, especially before he joins the Yeimar/Torres Megazord. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.c...
Oct 21, 2020•49 min•Season 3Ep. 29
The team that once got the plagued also got stopped by corona - no match against Colorado this week means a Sounders FC squad that looked they were fresh out of dental surgery and straight on to the pitch have a little extra time to recuperate before Sunday's away match against "Jan" Jose. We have seeds and trees and birds and bees, plus, the unexpected return of our old friend - it's not a reverse-Voldermort, it's the dreaded Injury Generator *spooky sfx* *bat noises*. To learn more about liste...
Oct 14, 2020•48 min•Season 3Ep. 28
Finally, this podcast is taking a stand on something: we are Pro PRO Pro/Rel and we don’t care who knows. Boy 1 and Boy 2 here to tell you that Big Boi and Joao Boy-o are going to be our saviors as Ruidiaz dips to Peru for the annual guinea pig games. Hide your wives, because Brad Evans is making eyes and he knows exactly what he’s doing. This episode is (not) brought to you by Thomas Edison Teriyaki. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/pr...
Oct 06, 2020•45 min•Season 3Ep. 27
Hey boss babe, sell five chankonabes and become a Yokozuna like me, Alex Roldan. Roman Torres is BACK to retain his title as biggest boi, and to defeat the northern invaders, Whitecaps FC who are Bryan Meredith-less (#FindBryan) in Seattle. Who has the best thick hot beef in Seattle? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sep 29, 2020•49 min
If you’re still getting your news from mlssoccerdotcom.com, what are you doing? Tour de France, check. Sumo, check. Sumo de France, check. Geopolitical breaking news and Thursday night television, double check. It’s all here on Full90somethingsomething we should figure out what we are called on social media. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sep 22, 2020•44 min
In the literal hellscape we currently live in, it would appear that it is also a groundhog day of a season as the Sounders will play LAFC for the infinith time, but at least LAFC only beat San Jose 5-1. It’s a good thing the Sounders play in America otherwise they would score less goals, and it’s too bad Vancouver plays in Vancouver AC instead of BC. All this on a new episode of Jan’s favorite podcast. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener dat...
Sep 15, 2020•46 min
Like a stadium in Texas, our podcast feed sounds better with piped in crowd noise and is only 25% full. As you’ll hear, we have to do the 8 mile thing where we dunk on ourselves so nobody can dunk on us first. How do you pronounce it, France or France? See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Sep 09, 2020•35 min
When a bad touch leads to discussion about the human condition, it can only mean one thing — soccer is back. Emodiaz pulled the soccer ball out of the Wizard Bird virtual ad realm to t-bag the Timbers and Kelvin Leerdam apparently made his MLS debut, but is the world destined to get better, or are we just as awful, but with access to the internet? Makes you think. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: http...
Aug 25, 2020•38 min
Grab your bi-color cape, we're keeping soccer alive the best way we know how! Let the sickness continue so the league can live. Also, warning about possible inhalation of exercise farts... See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Aug 12, 2020•39 min
We waited for lightning and storms to pass and we still don’t know who the Sounders will play in the Playoffs Jr., or how they somehow secured the #2 seed in their group, or how Vancouver advanced at all, or what Brian Schmetzer’s username is. When Nouhou is your safest player in defense, you know you’re in good hands. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn mor...
Jul 23, 2020•53 min
We’d rather eat a deep dish pizza than be put through 100 minutes of that again. The Rave Green were drenched in the springs of the Chad Barrett River, but they’re going to need more than that if they plan on beating accidental Canadian goals on Sunday. Sounders advance if [insert complicated scenarios here] but basically if they win. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-...
Jul 16, 2020•40 min
Well, that was something. Sounders are back, kinda, and if you want to get up early on Tuesday, you can see if it gets any better, because it can’t get worse. You can now lease your neck to Raul Ruidiaz for future tattoos, but you should get in line. JUST GIVE THE GD BALL TO RAUL. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://...
Jul 11, 2020•30 min
Two games into the tournament (or one if you’re Gregr) and we learned a few things. Mainly, MLS is crap, white shirts are see-through when wet #FreeTheNip, and we should all hold our ACLs a little more close. Dunking on MLS is still original and cool, right? See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adch...
Jul 09, 2020•37 min
Time to change the name to the Most of MLS is back Cup! FC Dallas hit the long dusty highway home and Nashville seem ready to do the same, but Dr. Spaceman seems to think it’s still safe to play and that Don Garber’s Kissing Booth doesn’t break any public health guidelines. In 100 years, the best soccer rivalry will be a disaster, but for now it’s just San Jose. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https:...
Jul 07, 2020•37 min
Are there Emos in Australia? The Retournament is somehow still happening despite FC Dallas coming down with so much COVID. Stretch ya neck with Raul. Come get a podcast sandwich of undercooked potatoes and Hot Garbage*. Stabby Rip Stab Stab *Hot Garbage is no included on the all inclusive menu and you will be bill $95. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn mor...
Jul 02, 2020•38 min
We found the Wizard Bird! By we, we mean you, and by you, we mean Jean and David. The Green Sounders look great, so let’s hope they play those guys in the Returnament. Florida is a HOT MESS but MLS seems to love a challenge, so far the tournament is still on. Could FC Dallas start without their universally-hated number one GK? Let’s hope so. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/p...
Jun 24, 2020•34 min
