Episode four sixty two is Episode two twenty six willpower and self Control in Spending.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live at your life. Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are talking about two things that are peripheral to our spending, but many experts will say that they are central, and that's willpower and self control.
It's a good one and you all really enjoyed it the first time that we put it out, which is typically why we choose to replay. And of course, as we do, we love looking at the radical middle of kind of what is the role that it plays? But all so, are there ways that this is maybe a little over emphasized and how can we kind of implement willpower and self control but also how can we understand where grace and humanity needs to come in.
Yeah, I think what we're used to hearing is that you need to strengthen your willpower and self control in order to spend well. And what we think is that you need to be incentivized internally to choose the right spending decisions, which is what we define will power and self control to be. So you cannot white knuckle your way like hold on tight and just you know, ride
the wave. To success in making the right spending decisions, there has to be internal motivators in there, and so that's kind of how we are repositioning the conversation.
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Yes, all right, So this episode is a rerun, but we also have a few other older episodes that are similar. Episode four forty one, how to Thrive without a Budget, we talk about some of these psychological ways to spend better that are incentivized from within and not from external, kind of like Motivators, Episode four forty how contentment leads to better spending with Shannon, and then episode three seventy six,
how to stick with your Big financial Goals. And these are all very behavioral psychology packed episodes.
Yeah, let's get into it.
So let's get into how to save smarter, not harder with our first article, which is from the American Psychological Association, and it's called Willpower, Finances and Spending. What'd you think of this one, Jill.
Oh, I love it. Anytime we can blend mental health with financial understanding is a beautiful blend for me, and APA brings back so many great memories for me from my college days. APA has their own versions of ways you need to write research papers and cite articles, so you know, this is there's some good and bad throwback here. But they are a great organization, and yeah, finding all sorts of articles on a variety of topics from them
is fantastic. But I love how they talk about willpower specifically, and I think it's similar to what we've discussed many times on this podcast, is decision fatigue. I think decision fatigue is connected to our will power, which is just our capacity to take in and respond to the various stimuli that are happening in our environment, whether emotional, mental, relational, spiritual, physical, you name it. The ability to maintain our values, the things that are important to us, what we say we
want to do. We do have capacity when it comes to willpower, and that's one of the things that they highlight most. And if we can understand this concept, it can be really helpful for us in sticking to our financial plan, in saving smarter, not harder, in setting up some things that are going to be helpful for us long term, and they describe willpower kind of like a muscle that can certainly be exercised and stretched and built and grown, but it can also become exhausted as well.
And sometimes as we over exert our willpower, we expect too much of our decision making abilities back to back to back to back, we can get worn down. I think a lot of people can commiserate with this and can understand, of, all, right, I've reached my limit with whatever it is, because I think our willpower isn't just
connected to one aspect of who we are. We could exhaust willpower in parenting, and then it translate over to not making the best financial decisions because we've already had to make a ton of other decisions and our willpower is worn down, so like willpower across the board, and
then how does that impact various other aspects. So I think there's not like some magic that we can do with this, but recognizing that it's there and setting ourselves up for as much success in the areas that we want to see success in is going to be great. So that's a little bit of my summary and personal take on how they're describing willpower.
But how did this strike you jen very much of the same.
I loved this one study that they cited in here, and I'll just read it from the article. People who are constantly faced with tough financial decisions, such as those who are less financially stable, most readily deplete their willpower. So one study suggested that shoppers with less money, who often use more willpower than richer shoppers, because they face more frequent and difficult spending decisions, are less like to
likely to resist consuming food and drink while shopping. Therefore, it appears that having to devote willpower to difficult spending decisions can deplete willpower in other areas, we see this a lot with people who are struggling financially living around the poverty line, and it's hard. Every spending decision you make is a tough decision, Whereas if you are more financially stable, the same decisions are inconveniences at worst. So you do end up spending more the less you have.
That's a phenomenon that you often don't understand why you're doing it. It's like, if I have so little money, why do I always spend it? Well, this is very likely the case is that your willpower is being depleted earlier and more rapidly than somebody who is more financially secure.
And that's not to say that we need to remain stuck in that place. It's important to acknowledge that there just might be more difficulties and barriers for someone where there are more difficult decisions to be made, it is more depleting. But recognizing that then can help empower us to be able to respond rather than to become victim to that unknowingly. Yeah, like you're saying, generally, why is
this happening to me? And so there are things that can be done, and I appreciate some of the lists that this article gave to us that there are ways that we can respond and recognize our capacity with willpower and the way that we can care for ourselves well here. And one of those ways as it relates to finances is to space out financial decisions whereever possible. I know, Jen, you talk about this all the time, focusing on one thing.
This article supports that idea make one decision at a time, but not only that, if you are able to space them out, not back to back to back to back. I'm making financial decision after tough financial decision after tough financial decision. I think there's going to be some creativity and problem solving and individualization that needs to happen in light of this tip. It's not going to look the
same for every person, but whatever you can do. Some of that might be automation, some of that might be planning ahead. I don't know what it will be for each one of us, but whatever we can implement so that our financial decisions can be spaced out and we can approach them one at a time to avoid some of that depletion of will power.
Yeah, and this does take some putting on the calendar because everybody has these unpredictably busy seasons, but there are a lot of predictable seasons where we make a lot of decisions. So around the holidays, like November December is not the time to be making big financial decisions, even though everybody wants to do that in December to prepare for January. And that's why most New Year's resolutions only last three weeks, so the end of the school year,
beginning of the school year if you have children. So just looking at your calendar and what areas you can predict will be busier and then schedule time in the not as busy seasons to reevaluate your finances, reevaluate your strategy, reevaluate that one page financial plan, because that's when you're going to make the best decisions, because sometimes that comes
with tough decisions, tough conversations. There's usually whenever you reevaluate, there's some kind of tough conversation that comes up, either with yourself or with your partner, or with your family.
So this is the time to put that toughness.
On your plate, not when you have a bunch of other things going on.
I so appreciate what you you're highlighting here. Jen to not make our big important financial decisions during really stressful times of life. We're usually not going to make the best decision. It's usually going to be rushed or have crazy levels of anxiety or urgency to them that are not necessary. And so even paying attention to what time of day do you think best at for you? Is it the morning, is it the early evening, is it late at night? For most people, it's going to be
the morning. Usually you're going to make your best, least stressed decisions in the morning. For females, it's even worth considering time of the month. This has been an incredible tool that I've been able to extend to clients where we just don't think about it. Many of us have been adults for ages. But what is the cycle like and recognizing when you're at your best for making large decisions.
So there's a lot of things that we want to take into consideration, but certainly not doing this when we're super stressed.
Yeah, so that is for big decisions, but what about tiny decisions the day today decisions? So their next recommendation is to track your spending, and I would say do this even before you.
Start a budget. Don't.
Everybody says jump on the budget immediately. The budget is a lifesaver. And yeah, budgets make a big difference in how you reach your financial plan.
But if that's a.
Big barrier, if you've budgeted before and it's been hard and you're prone district budgeting, stop try something new. Track your spending for thirty days, literally every transaction every day in a notebook in one of these tiny you know, two by four or four by six inch notebooks that you can carry with you wherever. Track your spending every penny, every day, and that will tell you a lot about your spending that your budget won't, because your budget tells
you what you could be doing. Tracking your spending tells you what you are doing, and it's not meant to guilt you. It's just meant to wake you up. And sometimes the wake up call can be more powerful than the guilt that a budget can give you.
The next tip is to save automatically. You have heard us talk about this over and over again, and we're just not going to stop talking about it. When we can eliminate some of these, even smaller decisions, all the better for our will power. Put it on auto in the background, Let it be running like the fridge all the time, keeping our stuff cold. Set up a bank or an investment account that withdraws money automatically from your paycheck.
There are plenty. Pretty much every investment account out there will allow you to invest automatically. Pretty much every bank account out there will allow you to save automatically. So doing this is going to be super helpful to not have to add to that should I save this month, I got to remember to do this. I have to
go into my computer and move money around. Just have it happen automatically, even if it's a small amount, then we don't even have to think about it, and we're already making a good decision for ourselves that we only had to make that decision one time.
I think the biggest thing is for renters is the rent payment. Not every landlord does automatic rent payments, So if you are one of those, check into see if your landlord wants to switch to something called Stessa st SSA. It's a software where your landlord can accept rent payments from you and you can set up automatic payments.
So that's one less thing you have.
To think of every month, but it's a big thing. So that I think is the big Everything can be automated. Now there's everything, and that's really the biggest thing I think that I've seen people not automate.
That's one option.
The next on this list is my absolute favorite. It's my favorite one on the list. It's avoid temptation. It's just stay away. Put a physical barrier between you and the store, the route. If you are passing by the store on a route, take a different route. Take the apps off your phone. Like we go into podcasts and they're like, what's your best tip for saving money? And
we're like, it's not sexy. It's avoidance. It's staying away from the places that you tend to spend impulsively or out of character or whatever.
Yeah, just don't go, but replace it with something because anytime we take something away and we don't replace it with something new, we are going to feel super deprived. And that's not the goal of this. We want to live full, enjoyable lives as much as possible. But if this isn't serving you, if you're spending money it's not actually beneficial for you or your wallet, then a change needs to be made. But that doesn't mean just a removal, only a subtraction. Sometimes it can mean the addition of
other things. Hanging out with people, doing free things, exploring in ways that aren't going to cost money. There's always something else that can be done that is going to be more beneficial for you. So finding those things, picking up and even a new activity that is low cost or no cost can be a really fun part of this process. And then last that they list on here is ask for support. And we also love this one
as well. If you haven't heard us already or picked up on this reality, we love community and we think that community is one of the most important components to longevity. On this journey of whatever your goals are financially and just in life, we need other people. We need reciprocity and relationships to know and be known, and where you can find people who are going to value you, value your goals, be supportive of them, and we know not everybody is. Sometimes you need to keep them in your life.
Sometimes you can create some separation there, but definitely adding in some of those people who are going to be supportive to you, who are going to be the ones that you can call up and are sew down to do something free instead of spending money or something that's expensive. The people who are going to ask you, hey, how's this going or how can I help? And that can
be found in person, hopefully and online. I know it's something that we've created with frugal friends and with our man membership, so that's fantastic, and we have seen people grow leaps and bounds, myself included. I have made so many massive strides in my finances that I know for sure I would not have done without others around me, even pointing me towards things that I don't know. I just don't know what I don't know, and that comes from community and support. And of course the article gives
their plug for psychologists. You know, it's APA, it's the American Psychology Association, so they're going to talk about their people and how you should see a psychologist, which that's fine. I definitely support mental health and pursuing growth in our mental health. If you think that a counselor a therapist would be helpful for you, absolutely, particularly when it comes to decision making and some of our behaviors, there's always root causes to it, and a psychologist, a counselor a
therapist can help you dig into that. So if you've tried all of these different things and you're listening to the podcast and you're reading the books, and you keep coming up against barriers, there could be some mindset shifts that a counselor would be able to help you with. Whether it's a task centered approach or cognitive behavioral therapy
or just general talk therapy, it can be helpful. Not everybody needs it all the time, and the hope with counseling is that we utilize that as a resource as we need. But it is not meant to be a lifetime experience where you are dependent on a relationship with a counselor so that's my little plug. Yes, use it if you need it, but it Yeah, don't feel like this has to be a part of your life long term either.
Yeah, thank you for that, Jill.
This is I mean, the willpower and the decision fatigue aspects of daily life are really why we invest so much time on the show to everything we talk about kind of as this theme in the background for us because it's something that is not talked about as widely.
The tips are a lot of make extra money, invest, eat beans and rice, but like not a lot on the willpower and maybe the root causes for why we feel the way we do about our finances, which also inhibits some of our willpower and contributes to decision fatigue. And I think the two things that we focus most on to preserve willpower are building habits and then also simplifying, because the more physical and mental clutter you have, the
worse your spending decisions are. So we in the Frugal Friends Club focus a lot on building healthy habits, breaking limiting habits, and then also internal and external motivators and then all the things around how can we make better decisions? But that's only half of the save smarter, not harder way of life. I guess this could be the not harder half, but it's essentially using the eighty twenty principle
to save more with less effort. And so our next article is from Money the Simple Way, Big Wins The Simple Way, the eighty twenty approach to saving money. Jill, how familiar with the eighty twenty principle?
Are you very familiar?
I think a lot of various sects talk about the puretto principle, the eighty twenty. It is something that can be applied to the corporate world to our personal finances. It's not specific to anyone category. It's just this idea that twenty percent of our efforts often produce eighty percent of the outcome the production the product, whatever that product may be. And so applying it to personal finance is just a new way of looking at it and then
again using it as a tool. I think so much of what we're about to go over in this article, none of it's shocking, but it is or even brand new, But it is a new way to look at it, or a different way to look at it. I think that's what we're doing with this podcast in a lot of ways, is what are the different facets, what's going to work for the variety of people who tune in for ourselves and as our situations grow and change, like we are not static individuals, you and I or our
listeners like, we're dynamic. We're changing, we're shifting, and so sometimes a mindset that used to work for us isn't working anymore. We need to implement something new. So we're just looking at all the different facets of this really cool diamond and trying to figure out, hey, does this work? Does this work? At the core of it, it's all gonna be the same being wise stewards of our resources. But what's the best way for our minds to engage
in that? And some tangible tips along the way. But that's how this struck me of Oh, we can use the Puretto principle for thinking about saving better, spending less.
Yeah, I mean, twenty percent of our episodes will provide you eighty percent of your results. But we're not gonna tell you which twenty percent of them they are. You're just gonna have to listen to one hundred percent.
But it is I.
Mean, it's crazy how accurate the rule of thumb is across all industries and everywhere, and even like getting down to the nitty gritty, like eighty so twenty percent. The way that Parretto came up with the eighty twenty rule is that twenty percent of landowners owned eighty percent of
the land. And then he broke it down again of those twenty percent, there was twenty percent of those who owned eighty percent of that land, and then broke it down again and saw that twenty percent of those owned eighty percent.
Of that land.
So it is something that is normal, and it's good, it's okay. And the further we get away from eighty twenty and closer maybe to ninety ten is when we should get worried. But we're not here to talk about that right now. Let's talk about the eighty twenty of our spending. So the author finds that there is the
vital few of frugality. So he went to a twenty nineteen consumer expenditure survey to get where most Americans have their household spending and found that thirty two point eight percent of it's on housing, seventeen percent is on transportation, thirteen percent is on food, eleven percent is on personal insurance and pensions, and then we get lower as we go down. And he said that you'll notice that the
spending doesn't fit exactly into the eighty twenty rule. Out of seventeen categories, the top three to four should represent about twenty percent, and they represent The top three categories only represent sixty three percent of the total, and the top four about seventy four percent. So he says it's
not ironclad, it's just general. So but that just goes like to show focusing on that you can focus on these top four and get big results and you don't even have to pay attention to the other ones until you get the top four under control. You can totally forget about your lattes while you're working on lowering your house, and you can totally forget about your your clothes budget while you're working on your food budget or your transportation's. That's how we choose the one thing to focus on.
We start with the biggest and then we just go down. We don't have to work on everything at the same.
Time, permission. I love this quote that they that he mentions in here. If you want big wins, focus on the vital few instead of the trivial many, And that's what you're talking about there. We love to get caught up in the coffee budget, but really, what if we got caught up in the housing, transportation, food part of the budget. That's where we're going to see the big
wins is when we focus on the vital few. And I also appreciate how the author recognized that everyone's top three or four expenditures is not going to be the same. For him, it wasn't. As a family of five, he said his food budget was actually higher monthly than his mortgage was, which is insane. But it also sounds like they got a great deal on their housing costs. So it is earth doing a what they call Peretto analysis
of your own budget, listing out your annual spending. You're going to have the best results if you're able to look at a full calendar year of spending and list that all out into categories. Certainly, if you already use a certain type of app that could help you with this, then the job is a little bit easier for you.
And if you're a person like Jen who just likes to write things out like in her planner, then then maybe this will be a fun exercise, but really dig into what are the top three or four expenditures for you so that you know where you're going to see the biggest impact on the vital few instead of the trivial many. But for most of us it is going
to be housing, transportation, and food. And so the article goes into some more just few tips on how could we experience some decrease costs, some savings in each of these big, massive categories.
Yes, so we will not dive into these in this episode. These are actually all challenges that we have done or are going to do in the Frugal Friends Club. The most recent one was the house Savings Hunters challenge where we looked for ways to like decrease our housing you know, everything in that category.
That was fun. That was fun.
Yeah, So when they talk about like mortgage or rent, definitely shopping around is the first, you know thing that they say, we got our And it's not always like this anymore. I would say that if you haven't, you just listen to our Housing market episode.
You'll get it.
It's harder to shop around, but that means it's more important.
Honestly, it just makes it even more important.
I love the example that they gave in the article. If you are going to shop around for your computer and take time to shop around for a new computer, how much more so should you be shopping around and taking your time with a purchase like a house or finding an apartment. I know not all of us have the luxury of time on our side, but wherever possible, it will pay off in the long run to feel really good about the decision that we're making and for it to be within our means.
Yeah, when we interviewed Mindy Jensen and Scott from Bigger Pockets, they said, don't rush home purchase. And the author here says the process for him to buy his house took nine months to find the right deal, and it I mean, I am pretty sure it's for most people going to take around the same time right now, So stick to your guns, wait it out, be patient.
And as far as transportation goes, you know, considering can you go down to one vehicle? Has your employment situation shifted? Are you working from home or are you able to work from home? Or are you able to even look for a job that provides you remote opportunities so that you could go down to one one vehicle and be driving less. Are there public transportation alternatives? Are there just ways to think outside the box related to your transportation costs?
And then of course with food, this is a big one, and I would say go back into our archive and look at all of the different episodes on food. But you know what it's gonna be is eaten out less. And of course there's so many different tips around how
we can do that. One of the things I will highlight because this felt a little bit new to me in reading this article, was encouraging us to master five to ten recipes that we really enjoy and putting those on rotation and or keeping them in the freezer for
some crazy busy weeks or nights. And I know we've talked about freezer meals before, and we've talked about meal planning, but I don't think we've ever talked about it in the sense of what's the food you really enjoy, so you're actually going to look forward to doing that and you know how to cook it, so not getting so overwhelmed like I have to come up with a new
recipe every week to keep variety. Just find five to ten recipes you really enjoy, master how to cook that hone in on your cooking skills and put them on rotation with some other simple meals. Maybe the five to ten are a little bit more complicated, but you know you're always going to have those ingredients on hand and you know you're going to enjoy it. I really like that tip. I think there was a new way to kind of look at food.
Yeah, that's a great tip. Is just give yourself a goal for the year to master ten recipes or start with fives, five recipes over the next deer that you're going to just make on repeat, you know, once a week, and then you're making, you know, one recipe every five weeks. So it's not getting too much that you get tired of it, but enough that you're making it so that you remember it and can learn it and can make it.
Their staples and you can make it. Like the author says, his wife has a dish that she's made so much. She said she can make it in her sleep.
That's amazing. For me, it's chicken pacada. I love chicken pocada. Cannot get over capers. I love papers are so good.
Yeah, I definitely it's a it's a beans and rice with a packet of the Oh, what's that.
It's the it's the dook.
Uh. Yeah, maybe it comes in a packet it's orange, and I throw some like frozen veggies in there, and I will recreate poyotropical cent and I'll create my own curry mustard.
That's a whole other thing too. If you're craving takeout. The internet has a plethora of recipes that can replicate whatever it is that you are craving, So that might even be something to consider. Mastering those recipes when you normally gravitate towards when you go out to a restaurant, master that thing. For Eric, it's French fries. He loves
French fries. And I have actually made some friends. Actually you were here, Jen, I made French fries in my air fryer that he loved that night when we had steak together.
Yeah.
Oh, gonna get to hear yeah, because we had to go record.
But no, oh my god, we were good fries. You know what else is good?
And speaking of work, it's.
The bill of the week.
That's right, It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That bills buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week.
Hi frugal friends. My name is Jen and I discovered you all last year and I love your podcast and appreciate all of the fun and levity that you bring to finance. I was really lacking that before I found you guys.
My bill of the.
Week comes from Christmas Eve. After listening to your podcast with missus Frugal Woods, I joined a couple of my local buy nothing groups on Facebook. We don't have a TV, and I thought that it would be so fun to get one for our kids for Christmas, but I didn't want to spend extra money, so I put it out there on the buy nothing groups and on Christmas Eve, I got a message from someone that they in fact had a perfectly working, free TV for me to pick up.
So we went and got it, wrapped it up and put a note on it that it was from Santa, and our kids opened it on Christmas morning and they loved it. So that is my bill of the week.
Thank you so much for all that you do.
Oh my gosh, Jen, First of all, great name. Second of all, no TV.
You are a hero. You're a hero so.
Many that's amazing. I love that lifestyle. But also I'm so thrilled to hear that you found a local buy nothing group and that they were able to provide you with something special, something that you want, but it wasn't valuable enough to you to have to spend money on it. And it sounds like your bill of the week is not spending any bills on a gift for your kids. And what a good idea of a way to utilize
your buy nothing group around Christmas time. I don't know if you sent this in around Christmas time, so sorry, we are so backed up, but we're still celebrating with you.
Yeah, going to two episodes a week is half for you and half for us to get through this backlog of bills, Like we need to double the episodes because we're so behind. And that is why keep sending in your bills, because that's why. Maybe we'll depending on how many you send it, maybe we'll go to more.
Who knows.
That's amazing And for anyone listening, if you want to join a buy nothing group, look it up. There's so many again, reciprocity and community. It's a give and take. You offer things up for free, you were able to receive leave things for free. It's fantastic. And also if you want to submit your Bill of the week, whether it has to do with not spending bills or spending bills, or a person named Bill or multiple bills, if you know many many bills, Oh, that'd be so amazing.
If you're in a bill society for Bill Maurice's.
Yes, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash Bill, leave us here Bill, and now it's time for around.
So today's Lightning Round, which is the eighty percent of our show.
We're twenty percent of work, but it's eighty percent value.
Yes, No, the Bill of the Week is the eighty percent that people tuned in for.
I have learned.
We got a message the other day. I don't know if it was like on Instagram or an email, but someone had listened to some of the first few episodes and they were like, hey, new listener, listening to some of the first episodes, just want to know if you're still.
Doing the Bill of the Week.
And I was like, every single episode, but I couldn't tell there was no response to that. It was definitely on Instagram. There was no response, and I couldn't tell is she asking because she doesn't want to hear this anymore and she's like if they say yes, I'm done, or if she wanted to send in a bill, And so I never.
Got the answer.
We may never know.
We may never know, but I'm gonna assume it's because she.
Loved it, Right, that's safe to assume. Yeah, that's the safe You're out.
So all right, John, you go first on this round of vulnerability. What is your best eighty twenty savings tip?
Absolutely? So we have always been So I'm going to choose housing. And I have always been a big proponent
for house hacking, which is it's essentially buying. So traditionally when it first started, it was instead of buying like your dream home for your first home, your first home is a duplex or a triplex and you live in one part and you rent out the other side, and it essentially covers most of your mortgage so that you can just save up your money and then go buy your dream home or another rental property to do the
house hack again, whatever you want. So, we didn't know about house hacking when we bought our first house, and by the time we did it was impossible to get duplexes in Saint Pete.
There was is impossible.
So what we did was, when we found out about it, we rented at our guest room on Airbnb and it worked fabulously, so people have definitely heard me talk about this. We did it for several years. We were booked out all the time, and it was just our guest room and our guest bathroom, and we shared the other spaces in the house, except we didn't share my office or our bedroom, and nobody really took us up on the
sharing the rest of the house. Pretty much, people who rent a shared room on Airbnb are just there for a place to sleep. They're not there for a place to hang, which was convenient for us, but we got to meet so many cool people. It was the best house hack I think we could have ever done, and it pretty much almost covered our mortgage every month that we did it. And now we are kind of house hacking.
We bought a large house and we're going to make part of it a midterm rental like for snowbirds, and we are out the original house that we lived in and so that once we get the renovation on this midterm rental done, then between that and the other house, the income should cover both mortgages. And so that is my best, my favorite.
Yeah, it's excellent. It is requiring a lot of work upfront, and depending on your situation, that could be the case. But once you put in that initial effort, it can get to a point of twenty percent effort for eighty percent return.
Yeah.
I mean the guest room was very effortless, and we lived in an area that it was good for like fifteen minutes from the beach, fifteen minutes from a bunch of different universities, so we lived in a good area for it. But it was very effortless for that. This one a lot of effort. Don't recommend it upfront, but the guest room thing was so easy.
Yeah. For me, As it relates to eighty twenty, I think this is what I do with each category, So the biggest expenses. So if we were to look at housing, transportation, and food, I would agree that for me, I'm a basic person where those are probably the biggest expenditures for me, and applying the eighty twenty rule to each of those
categories like breaking it down smaller and smaller. So what is the top amount of money that I'm spending within food, within transportation, And how can I decrease that like the big winds the vital few, rather than the small amount. So I'm not cutting out gum. But recently, Jen, this is actually going to be news to you too, and it may break your heart a little bit, but it's a good thing. We have. Well, we've definitely significantly cut out eating out, and I have found ways to really
enjoy eating at home. Sometimes it means doing a random meal kit delivery just to keep me going in my eating at home efforts, but I've really enjoyed that, which I never would have thought. It's been a trained muscle. But we also have made a drastic cut in our
alcohol consumption. Like we got to a point where we thought, every time we go out, like it's fun to be able to get a drink with our meal, and we are realizing that by not doing that, it significantly decreases the amount of money we spend even when we go out. And what's amazing about it is we're not missing it,
like we can replace it with other enjoyable things. I can have like a little piece of chocolate waiting for me when I get home, and that's like just the treat that I need, because it's not even about like getting a drink. It's about having something that feels like a treat. But when I'm getting a treat every single time, then it takes away the enjoyment of it. I never growing up, I never got soda or a lemonade or
an ice. I always did water. So I'm like, what happened to us that suddenly we're getting a drink out every time we go out. So really, scaling back in that regard has helped us phenomenally with the food. With transportation, we cut back to one vehicle. We've been a one vehicle family now for two years, which is amazing, and that works for us because we work from home. Sometimes it stinks when our car needs to go in for repairs,
but that's very minimal and we work around it. In the long run, it's saving us a lot of money. And as far as housing, you've heard all of the housing things that we've done, but one thing I don't think I've ever mentioned on this podcast before is when we were renting before we did the tiny home before we had a home that we could make an airbnb in. When we looked for apartments, we did not have a ton of money, and so one of the ways that we got what we wanted at an inexpensive price was
looking at very inexpensive rentals. I know that's really it's harder to come by, but considering looking at places that you wouldn't normally consider, Like if you're the type of person who would primarily go like apartment complex, consider looking for some smaller apartment situations that might not be as nice and working out a deal of being able to fix it up, do a few minor repairs or painting with the landlord to be able to make it what
you like. So that was one of the things that we did on multiple occasions, was renovating an apartment to be more what we wanted, but maintaining the lower rent. Of course, I recognize that may or may not be available to people or as readily available now, but I don't think I've ever discussed that on this podcast when we were in a rental and not an owning situation.
So anything really that's going to be thinking outside the box and looking at these heavy hitter categories is going to make the biggest dent in our finances.
Yeah, I think that's a great if you are handy, even like partially because a landlord isn't going to want you to do major renovations, but if you can paint, if you can replace a few fixtures, very simple things,
then you look at the cost of handymen. Look at like, do an analysis of what it would cost them to fix up their property and what they can charge extra for rent if they do fix up their property and create a deal or propose a deal where it's like, over the next year, I will fix this up to this,
you'll give me this discount on rent. So they save or you know, maybe they don't save as much much than as doing a handyman, but they know the work is going to get done and they don't have to disrupt any tenants or give any additional discounts or have the thing vake it for a month while they do the renovations. They know you will do it, and then you're like, you will give me this price for one year or two years, and then I'll move out and you can jack up.
Some of the benefit is what they'll be able to make off of it. Once you leave. Our landlord was able to charge four hundred dollars a month extra after we left because of the work that we did on the place. So yeah, it's there. It can be a win win.
Yeah, make it if you tell them that they are going to make money off of giving you a discount because you can tell them the things that you can do, et cetera, then yeah, it's a great strategy. I love talking about stuff like this. I really do think that the approach people take to spending is very externally.
Pepper.
It's it's all like external rewards and what's the opposite of a reward punishments? Yeah, and I obviously I don't even know the words.
I avoid them.
Yeah, but I love to talk about kind of a more holistic approach.
And in ways that we can kind of just lean into some of these more cognitive biases that do exist and and allow ourselves to simplify and be efficient rather than needing to, as you said earlier, just white knuckle everything. So we hope that you also gained some helpful tips throughout here on how to just be a little bit more patient with yourself if you're finding yourself unable to white knuckle it and yeah, we're just so grateful that you're here.
And this is kind of one of the first places we talked about the eighty twenty rule for saving and why we like to focus on the big the housing, transportation, food versus the smaller things. I was actually watching a video this morning. I was looking at a few speaker reels since I'm going to be doing some speaking next year and if you work for a company that wants
a speaker like us, then reach out to me. But I was watching one and this woman was like, looking at the ways you could save money, and she just automatically crossed out housing and transportation. She's like, these are fixed expenses. And I'm like, actually, no, nobody. It's not like somebody assigns you the house and the car that you're supposed to drive and you just have to take it. Yeah, that is a decision that you make, not as frequently obviously,
not month to month. And she she said, focus on the b lts, the bites, licks, and tastes, so just food, everything, food, she said, just the little like death by a thousand cuts theory, you know, like focus on the but bites licks And apparently it's a weight watchers thing.
I don't know, she I.
But that's all foods, that's everything that's going into your mouth.
It was a metaphor like small things not big things.
Yeah, but I was like, this is so so is.
The opposite of what we're because that is where it's all of the will power needs to constantly come in and we just don't have that. We're not unlimited capacity.
And you don't need to.
We're led to believe that we need to have the willpower and self control to fight off.
All the bites, licks and tastes.
But it was like tickles, what was it?
But when you can make the right decisions on the back end, then you don't need to exhaust yourself as much with all of the willpower that traditional media says that you need to have, or David Goggins or the guy that says that says you should like wake up at four am and like run a marathon every morning.
You don't have to do that.
You don't have to. So well you can, you totally can. Absolutely you can can belt your way through this level. El bye. You can also eighty twenty your way through.
Yeah, thank you so much for listening.
If you agree that you're too tired to focus on the belts, and you need to focus on the eighty percent, the twenty percent of your things that are costing you eighty percent of your money.
Please leave us a.
Rating and review, kind of like this lovely one from en Kurt. It happens to be five stars. It says inspirational and fun. I have listened to this podcast for years, and I feel it's really one of the best personal finance podcasts for normal people that's in quotes who are interested in controlling their finances and growing financially. The personal stories especially are relatable and interesting to listen to. But really I can recommend all the episodes.
And Kurt, that's so kind. I love the consistent references to normal people. I'm lowed down to earth and normal this podcast is and wow.
I love being I never I wasn't in the back of the bus. I was in the middle of the bus because I am.
With not the good sex. That's why you knew there were jawbreakers in the back. I didn't.
I don't like jawbreakers.
Oh they were so good.
I like my teeth. I had braces, well.
They weren't. They were like baseballs that you.
Know what they are.
You licked you blt'ed your mouth for as.
I've never been into the BLTs, I guess well.
Thanks, Thanks and Kurt, and thank you all for listening. If you are enjoying the show, if you feel like we're making you feel normal, if you think we're normal, please take a minute to leave a rating and review. We love reading them, but more than us just enjoying to read them. It does help other people find our show, know what it's about. Consider if they also want to feel normal and am so it helps. It's a way to help us. And another way to help us is
by joining the street team. So again, get fred letter, send that in that application. Love to have you, see you next time. Bye.
Google Friends is produced by Eric Siriani. All Right, Jill, I just got off.
A cruise ship.
Yeah you today?
Tell us about it off just a little over twenty four hours ago. It was a music cruise and I know some people saw. I was posting stories about it on my Instagram at Modern Frugality, and it was essentially a ship full of like carbon copies of people. We're all in our thirties and forties, we are all we're all into the same music in college, like pop punk, emo, indie stuff, so same music preferences, same ages.
I was in an elevator once.
And a lady looks down, she's like a lot of foot tattoos in this elevator.
We all had foot tattoos.
Like that was how weirdly Oh similar, they were all different, but uh, it was so surreal to be on a ship with just people that you already have like an instant similarity.
Not different, right, you could probably each open up your Instagrams and like have the same exact feed. You're all on the same algorithm.
Yeah. It was so funny and I just got to relive kind of like my college high school college days where I went to a lot of shows. Now I'm too old to be standing that much. It was so much standing, but it was like it was hosted by Andrew McMahon who is in something corporate, Jack's Mannequin in the in the Wilderness. And there were a lot of other bands too, like Augustana was it was one of my favorite bands and I got to see him several times.
And then Mister Wives, which I was not into before but then saw live and now I am very into Rustin Kelly cartel. The Academy is just like all my high school college stacked boat ever stacked millennials. Yeah, so that was a fun experience. That's cool, and if you're a big music fan, don't sleep on these. Yeah, it was a cruise, but like not for people that don't like cruises or have never been on a cruise. A lot of people were there for the first time. It
was a very unique cruise. I love cruises, and it was a very distinct, like it wasn't the regular cruise experience.
I just learned, like within the last year that this is something that I don't know if it's becoming more regular for what it has been a thing for a while and I'm just learning about it. But yeah, these kind of concert cruises where you are on the boat with these bands and getting concerts from your favorite artists every single night in a more intimate setting. Yeah, all inclusive setting and very fun.
Here's the thing.
So I had just found out about these when I booked it with my I went with my sister in law, and there are other types of cruises. When we when we got on, they were breaking down from the Hallmark holiday movie cruise No No, No, and then that cruse sold out so fast that they booked another one right after the Andrew McMahon one. So when we were getting off, people were coming in to go for round two of the Hallmark Holiday movie. There was a girl that went
on it. She went on the cruises back to back and we talked to her and they had a tree lighting every night. They had stars from the Hallmark Holiday movies because they all do the same, like it's I was just watching Lacey Schabert on Jimmy Fallon and she just did her forty first holiday movie. She has forty one that holiday movie too many?
How many? And too many? That is forty one. I'm gonna give her the one. She can pick any of them.
So that was the one.
And there's also a rest the ling one. WWE cruise.
Okay, yeah, I'm on the edge of my This is wild and I'm super into it. But it's also sparking a beautiful, brilliant idea, a frugal Friends podcast cruise Now listen. It doesn't have to just be us. It can be all of our other favorite people in the personal finance space, and we're all on a cruise together talking about being resourceful and frugal. It's probably the opposite of what cruises are.
I love them that I get way to vacation frugally. Actually, she's just shaking her head. She doesn't like this idea. I don't and is out of my sales.
But I do love Okay, maybe.
Listen. I'm just spitballing. We need to make money. I'd love to keep doing this.
Yeah, so you keep going, You keep going with the ideas, Jill, keep going.
Thanks Jin