Episode three twenty two is episode one seventy seven. What is values based spending and how do you practice it?
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and liver a your life. Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are bringing back one of our most popular episodes ever, definitely our most popular of two years ago when we first aired it. It's all about values based spending.
That's wild. I can't believe it was two years ago. But also this has become our mantra. So I'm really glad that it is our most listened to episode because this is kind of the foundation of what we talk about.
This is brugality one oh one b Yeah.
I think if there was an episode that really defined it was a turning point I think for the show when we did this episode and when we saw how many people really were impacted by it, it changed the trajectory of the show and a lot about like what we talk about off of the show too. So if you haven't listened to one seventy seven, this is your opportunity to.
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Yes, Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash friend letter. So much goodness in there, all right, Well, before we get into the episode, there have been some good episodes since we release one seventy seven on values based spending, like episode two seventy four, how to Align your Spending with
your Values. Uh So we talk a lot about core values in these episodes, which I think we've kind of elevated, not elevated, but like incorporated more of just kind of of like values being what you love spending money on, what you value having in your budget. They don't necessarily need to be associated with your core values, but it definitely knowing those gets you closer to spending your money in a way that gets you what money can't buy.
So we still think it's super important to know both what you value spending on and just what your core values are. So we got episode two seventy four and then episode one eighty one how to Identify and Improve Spending Habits. So those are some good ones to que up after this one.
But let's get into this one because it's what you're here for.
So our first article that we are going through is from clobear dot com and it is values based Budgeting, aligning your money with your goals. This is a really great overview of values based budgeting. What do you think Jill.
Really enjoyed it.
As you said, it goes through both why she loves it, the author loves values based budgeting, and then a little bit on how to. But one of the things that she talks about before she even gets into some of her bullet points is this kind of magic wand question of Hey, imagine your life if everything were exactly how you wanted it to be.
What is that?
And it's kind of a question to help you get at what is most valuable for me or what do I want to see in my future? And I particularly like that because it's very reminiscent of this technique that's utilized in solutions focused Therapy SFT for short. I won't get too into the weeds on it, but one of the interventions or ways of utilizing SFT is by asking this miracle question. It's this, Hey, if you woke up tomorrow and a miracle had happened how would you know
that everything was different? And very similar questions, but ultimately what these questions do, while not realistic, right there's not a button I can push and I get my best life. Now, there's not an actual wand I can wave, but it does help us to understand what is deep rooted inside of us that we would like to see be different. And it's kind of this starting at the end and working backwards. But if we're able to identify the end point, that helps us to understand what do we even want?
And then we can start to.
Fill in the blanks, working our ways back towards where we actually find ourselves right now. And again, it's not going to mean magic, but usually there's some things that we can identify and say, well, if I did take this step, it gets me a little bit closer to this life that I do want.
To see for myself. So I think it's a really useful question.
It can feel really silly, really odd, but I love that she starts it out this way because I think it can be helpful, and even understanding what do I even want? I think a lot of us can struggle with answering that.
Yeah, it is definitely not a question that you will be able to answer in one sitting. And that's why people tend to ignore it or maybe gloss over it, because they want to be able to answer questions as soon as they sit down to answer them. But this is something where you're going to have to ask a lot of dynamic questions. Think about really think hard about. Okay, what values do I want to have but aren't actually
my true core values? That is such a tough one because I look at a list of core values and I see all these really great values. Some of them look like values I'm supposed to have or I want to have, and some of them look like values that I do not want to have. But sometimes your core values are different from the core values you want to have or think you should have. So that's a nut like that goes even deeper into figuring out who am I, what do I want outside of what society in the
Internet is telling me I'm supposed to be like. So that's why it just takes time.
And our core values, even if they seem really glamorous, like you know, I have a core value of justice, there's a flip side to that too, right, There's there is the way that we can operate in that that is aimed at well being, and there's a way that we can operate in that that can be destructive if we're too hyper focused on it. So, you know, even if we do assign some of these terms, recognize that there's a way that we harness some of these and walk in a way that benefits us rather than the
opposite of that. But then, I know, Jenna and you and I have talked about this a little bit. My personal perspective on this is that we have core values, right, these core aspects of our personhood, and I would say we probably have about two to three actual core values, and then connected to those, almost like a ripple going out from them, we have other values that are attached to that, and that could be I don't want to say infinite, but you're probably talking potentially twenty other values.
But I wouldn't say that those more peripheral values would be core. I think core values are not really going to shift throughout our lifetime. The way that we walk them out or the way that they look might shift, but the peripheral values attached to what could shift, right, Like mm hmm, I don't have kids, My own kids aren't of that core value of mine because I'm not I don't have kids.
The second I do.
Guess what that would change, So the certain things can shift in that equation. So I just want to give that little caveat before we keep talking about values.
Yeah. Absolutely, And I also want to give permission to like parents, wives, husbands, like your spouse, your family. Your kids don't actually have to be a core value of yours, like if they are not, you can have core values that relate to how you interact with your spouse, partner and children. And so just because like your kids, for kid's sake, aren't your core values does not mean you
don't care about your children. And so this is like stuff you learn about your core values, and it keeps you from overspending on your children for the sake of just loving your children. But you can spend more aligned with your values that are specifically how you want to show love to your children. And so that's why we
are really into values based budgeting. So here's a little bit about why the author of this article is into it, And the first one is that values based budgeting is hyper personalized, kind of like what we mentioned at the beginning. So she says This approach works for me because I don't like needlessly rigid approaches that follow arbitrary rules put in place by financial experts, and so we feel the
same exact way. And she references the fifty to thirty twenty rule, which is a budgeting rule where you spend fifty percent on needs, thirty percent on once and twenty percent on savings, which absolutely the definition of arbitrary. Depending on your income and your values, there is no need for this to be your budgeting percentages or even your goals.
So I hate arbitrary rules like this, and I think, at first, yeah, it is super valuable to just find somebody resonate with and do everything they tell you exactly as they tell you. That's the fewer decisions you have to make to get this, like budgeting or financial habit. Going is super useful. But after a few months, you cannot rely on other people's definition of budgeting and financial success in goals because it's not sustainable for you. And so this is a great way to make budgeting.
Sustainable, building upon the tools that you've already established. The second reason that she mentions loving values based budgeting is that it prevents impulse purchases. It already considers the things that you want to spend money on, so that is one of the biggest budget busters.
Alliteration is feeling.
Restricted and not wanting to feel restricted and just spending frivolously or impulsively. And having a budget that is centered around the things that you want to be spending on can be a huge help in not making those impulse purchases or not feeling super restricted because you've already identified Okay, actually it's not that valuable to me to be constantly buying coffees outside of my house.
What is valuable is XYZ.
So because I've got room in my budget now for that, it's easier for me to let go of this other thing that I thought was important but now I realize it's not as much. So really, it connects our spending with our why real time. It's both long term and
short term. So if we've got room in our budget for the things that we actually want to be spending on, connected to these deeper values, connected to our whys of doing this thing again, it's another strength and protective factor for not making the decisions.
That we don't want to be making and not mindfully spending.
Absolutely, and we'll talk a little bit about our whole next article is about values based spending, but yeah, it does. It does help us definitely rain in our spending. I mean, most people might think that values based spending will inevitably lead to overspending in those categories, but it can. The more introspective you get, the more you realize you don't need. The next one is values based budgeting allows me to
live the life I've always wanted to live now. And that's so important because so much of early personal finance education for adults is super restrictive. And while we totally believe in a detox, we love a good no spend challenge so that you can kind of take a step back, give up all the habits and mindless spending and emotional spending, and like pause all of that so that you can really look at why you're doing Each of those that
is not sustainable by any means. So sure, there are people that do it for a full year, but I feel like those people have had quote unquote training in it. You don't just decide to do a no spend challenge. Very few people could decide to do one of those and do it for a full year right off the bat.
It's like deciding to do a marathon with no true.
Exactly exactly that. So we have to put into place safe strategies to live the life that you truly value now.
And so you like what Jill said, two to three core values is really solid, and so you can spend and budget on those things without guilt and then kind of regulate your you know, ten to twenty other peripheral values and do them every once in a while so you still get them, but you're not taking every opportunity to spend on every single one of your values, and you can still feel like you're living a rich, like free life and you just knowing yourself and your values.
Yeah, so if you like how this sounds, let's talk about how to do this.
Number one, figure out what you fellue.
Soul search. She says, Oh gosh, yes, it's true.
And again, like you, like we said at the beginning of this podcast, this isn't just gonna be a okay, let me just like quick think about this and write it down. This will be probably a few days, potentially a week of kind of in and out wrestling with this idea of what matters to me. But we don't want to leave you empty handed in that process, just like go into a dark room and figure out what you value. In fact, you probably have to engage with
the world to figure it out. But I do like this one question that she asks, And there's certainly lots of questions we can ask ourselves, but here's one. If your employer paid you in something other than cash, what would it be is super helpful.
To identify love this question.
Like, what else would would to me feel valuable or a good use of my time if they were to pay me in this and so is that travel that okay? Instead of paying me? Yeah, sure, give me some plane tickets. Is it time off? Is it medical expenses? Is it paying into your savings account? You name it right. There's probably a lot of different things that you could consider, but that's one way of identifying what do I value?
Asking yourself that question. You can also certainly look back at what your previous spending has been over the past couple of months. Now, certainly there we'll be spending that you've done, that you've spent in areas that you don't actually value. But look at how you've spent your time, how you've spent your money. That can also give an indicator while you're looking at what do I value?
Yeah, for her, she values time spending time with people. So I push back a little bit on the time one. What's the reason you want more time? I think the reason you want more time that's the actual core value, So obviously she's her Number two is spending time with people I love. So I think that's actually a core value of community, travel, living somewhere I love. So that could mean many different things like either location or for Jill,
like it's you know, really great interior design. She also says, advancing her career, which I think could be many different core values, and then working on my passions. So we I mean, you can find lists of core values on the internet. I think the lists that have like fifty those are kind of comprehensive enough so you can find one of those and kind of.
See what other people are. Yeah.
Yeah, So number two is to look at your spending. So if you haven't done this exercise before, be prepared to be a little or a lot surprised, she says. And that's absolutely true. And so she says two to four weeks. But honestly, like I think three months. Yeah, agree, yeah, at least thirty days, but preferably ninety. And then look at all your transactions and see which values they serve.
So this is a good thing to like, look at these transactions and up to next to a sheet with those or pulled up those fifty values and kind of looking at what values those transactions met. Did you get takeout on a Thursday night? So it's good to think about like the setting you were in when you spent this too, So yeah, did you get takeout?
Why?
What was the value was it? Was it efficiency or you know, was it fun or something? So think about the value so you can look for patterns like which values are you seeing over and over and over.
Yeah, which is why we would recommend looking at your spending for a longer period of time. You're going to see more of those patterns come out rather than a fluke scenario that happened in the last thirty days. Number three on this list is to make a list of the things you don't value.
Also really love this.
This girl might have a background in counseling, because the things that we don't value still show.
Us about ourselves.
To take it even more to an extreme, the things that we hate are usually quite indicationative about the things that have shaped us, that are actually really important to us. It's it's usually an indicator of where some of our strongest passions lie. So that's a whole other side tangent, but it's one of the reasons I love this question so much.
So consider the things that.
You just do not want to spend money on, even if society tells you that you should. And she makes a point to say here, and I'll highlight this too, that there's no judgment here. What I don't value doesn't have to be the same as what you don't value. There is space for all of us. She lists out some of the things just as an example, and I will say, I do actually agree with a lot of the things on here.
That does I tell you too, Yeah, they have the same list.
Having the latest technology or gadget, fashion, a new car or a fancy car, trying the latest restaurants or bars, attending concerts, festivals, sporting events like, some of these things just aren't where she's going to ultimately want to spend her money. She would rather spend it in other areas. So this could be helpful to even have a list of well, what do I know I don't want to
spend on? And this could be freeing too to even be able to name it and take some mystery out of it, because we might actually be spending in some of these areas because other people are, or we think that this is what we should be doing. But then to actually just say, you know what, actually I don't care about having new clothes awesome, then find freedom in that and recognize then this is not going to be where a big portion of my finances go.
And this can become really important when these things become intertwined with your actual core values. So maybe a friend wants to go shopping, and you value community time with friends, and so that's something you want to do, but you don't value buying clothes. But because you are shopping, you might say, okay, well this is an expense to spend time with someone.
But when you go and you don't buy anything exactly.
So when you define these are the five to ten things I do not value and will not spend money on, you can separate those two activities and you can spend time with your friend without buying clothes because you've planned for it, you've already made that decision in your head, and so you don't have to make the decision on the fly when you might be experiencing a little decision fatigue.
So this is a super important list to make. So next is see which areas of your life you can cut back on in order to put more money in the areas you value most. So this is where we do the dirty work of really making sure our spending and our budgeting is a line with our values one hundred percent and not just maybe like that fifty percent
in the example of going shopping with a friend. So look at your transactions from the ninety days and kind of see which of them really truly met the value one hundred percent and which of them didn't, and how you can get creative to still fulfill your values but eliminate the parts that don't fulfill your values. So this is where we start getting creative and we get flexing those frugal muscles.
Yeah, we know that our finances are not unlimited, so we're not saying just go out and spend. We're saying budget for these things. And if it's still not fully there, but this is a value of yours, look at where you're spending is where you're not where you're spending on things you don't value, and how can you decrease that
even further so that there's more room here. So there is a creative process involved in this, and even the potential of blending with other things that we've talked about here earning more that does eventually become part of this equation.
It's not fully what this episode's about, but.
Yeah, and I think in this category is where we start to think about paying off our debt, because it can get lost in the I want to afford, you know, living my life. I'm tired of restrictive budgeting and YadA YadA.
So it's really important early on to connect why you're paying off debt back to all two to four of your core values and so you kind of have to you have to think about paying off debt and kind of remilinate your brain cells to when you think about spending money on something you can you can automatically say no, I want to pay off more debt, because then you have fifty different reasons why you want to pay off
your debt. And so this this is where when we're getting creative and saying, how can I cut back to put more money into my highest values. This is also where we're thinking about how can I make paying off debt, Like why does paying off debt get me closer to all three of my values? Because it inevitably does. So you just have to really think and contemplate that to make this section really work.
Yeah, because we're not just talking about the collection of things. We're not just talking about freeing up money so you can go buy things. Some of this might be a big portion of this might be freeing up money to get at some of our bigger goals of debt payoff, of savings, of being able to.
Yeah, maybe buy that house that we really.
Want, or being able to afford our bills, you name it. We're not just talking about free up money so you can go, like buy things that seem fun to you. It's like kind of the opposite of what we're saying because still minimalists, and.
I mean I think that values day budgeting, we want so much to base our financial goals around being able to buy more stuff and being able to buy more experiences. But this goes against that in that core values aren't based on stuff that you can buy. Core values are based on who you are and so when we start budgeting around what makes us more of who we are,
we add fewer things that cost money. That's the goal, is that we want to think about fulfilling our lives, fulfilling our partners' lives and our children's lives, not what else can I spend money on? And so yeah, many things that fulfill us will cost money. But when affording stuff and experiences becomes less of the focus than we naturally spend life.
Yes, and finally number five on this list as far as the how to is evaluate those essential expenses. And so sometimes we can think that we have got these fixed, inflexible essential expenses and we hardly even look at them. We gloss over them, we factor them in, but we never really critically think whether or not it's actually necessary. And this is a challenge to re look at those things. The transportation annual transportation costs, you have your living expenses,
your grocery bill, your utilities, you name it. These things are up for debate. Certainly it might require some extreme decision making, but it's worth re looking at could I actually cut this essential quote unquote essential expense again to be able to free up some of that money in other areas. The example that this author gives that I don't think is going to be realistic for most.
People, but I'll just say it.
She noticed how much money she was spending annually on her vehicle, between insurance and gas and fixes and repairs and all of that. Her company actually offered her a company car, so she was able to sell her car, utilize the company car, and now it has slashed her transportation costs significantly. And then we'll also bike a lot
of places or utilize public transportation. Again, that's not always available to everybody, but I like the way that this gets us to think of, well, do I actually need that. It's one of the reasons that Eric and I chose to live in our tiny home for a time. It didn't last forever. Now we're in an actual home that is stationary. It doesn't move, it's not on wheels. But that was one of those let's look at this big expense of rent and do we actually have to be
putting this much money into rent in this area. What's the way that we could slash our housing expense? And we did, and it freed up the opportunity for me to be able to cash flow my master's degree and tons of other things. So it's worth being creative. It's not necessarily it doesn't mean that you're going to find some awesome solution, but still look at it. Be willing to think outside the box on these more big expenses.
Absolutely, and then she just says that after all of that, you can use the found money to go towards your high values categories. So that is how to create a values based budget. So let's talk about values based spending, which is budgeting in action. This one is from Eat, Drink, and Save Money, and it's how to save money with values based spending. So what did you think of this? We're going to go through all of her examples for values based spending and how it works with values based budgeting.
Yeah.
I like the way that she partitioned this out, and she is making the ultimate idea behind what we're about to go through in these examples is the connection between values based budgeting and values based spending that you can't just values based spend if you actually want to get at your long term financial goals, because then it just becomes an excuse of well, it's a value of mine, so sure I can drop a ton of money on it.
It has to be connected to the actual money that you bring in and all of the other expenses that are necessary that you do need to pay in some regard for food and housing and transportation. So it's showing how values based spending without a budget could look and how values based spending with a budget could look. So the first example goes into friendship.
I think all of these that we're going to go through are definitely common values, and they're all ones I share, and it is definitely the budget is a tool, it's not the solution. So we make the budget so that we have the plan, because without a plan, we're not going to follow through with values based spending. We have to know what our values are and we have to allocate money to those values. But the budget is not
the solution. So I think we get into this like vicious cycle of budgeting and then spending, and then life throws us something that surprises us, and the budget goes a little awry, and then we feel kind of like guilt and shame for not being able to quote unit quote, not being able to budget, which is totally untrue. And so I think, as long as you know your values, whatever spending things come your way. You're going to be able to pivot better than using somebody else's like budgeting methods.
Yeah so yeah, So with this first example, let's say you value friendship that is super important to you, and you might put different words on this of community, belonging, time with friends, it's all important. With a values based budget, you could spend time with friends, get together monthly, weekly, socialize, find ways to do that that work within the budget. Sometimes that might be free things. Sometimes it might mean things that you're spending money on, but it's not over
extending yourself. It's not going into debt or taking on expenses that you can't actually afford in order to spend on this versus values based spending on friendship without budgeting, could she uses a really crazy example, now, three hundred bottle service, and that's just like extreme, But but I will say without a budget, we could say, well, yeah, I'm gonna go out on Saturday and we're gonna go have a spa day, and we're gonna do out to
dinner and then we're gonna go see a movie. And because friendship is important, and if we don't actually have the money for that, that that just becomes ridiculous, but it can be a reason that we give ourselves right the how we justify it in our own minds or to another person of Oh, but friendship's important. Yeah, Friendship can be important without again over extending yourself.
Yeah, and knowing your core values will actually show you who your true friends are. I mean I encountered like I used to go to happy hour like every weekend or out to dinner every weekend with friends because that's how my friends wanted to spend their time, and I wanted to spend time with my friends. But when I started spending more in alignment with my values and paying off debt, that was no longer in my budget. Like I preferred to get takeout food for the efficiency factor
versus sit down dining because I'm not a foodie. I didn't care as much about that, and so I stopped hanging out with some of these friends because that is what they wanted to do. But it's okay, because I the friends that really wanted to hang out with me at my house or getting a cup of coffee.
I spent more.
Time with those friends, and I developed deeper relationships with those people. So don't be afraid of this it's tough, but it's better in the long run. So next example two is valuing health through values based budgeting. And I know Jill and I both value health in different ways,
so I love this one. So a values based budget will allow you to allot a certain amount of money to the type of health that's like factor that's important to you, so whether that's exercise, healthy food supplements, whatever, or even different types of exercise. So that's what the
values based budget helps you do. Without values based budgeting, she says that you could end up spending ten thousand on a health retreat because you value your health, I say, it's more likely that you're going to end up with a lot of different subscriptions to different health apps that you don't need all at once. So some of them are good if you value health, but if you're not budgeting, you could end up with a ton. So that's kind of how I see it happening.
Yes, And then the third example here is let's say you have a strong value for the environment super important to you. You want your time, energy, and finances to align.
With this value with a budget.
That might mean that you are buying some eco friendly things at times, or shopping local restaurants or stores, going secondhand with a lot of your purchases, and really ultimately being environmentally friendly is a.
Lot of not spending money.
We're really trying to push against this idea that living a lifestyle of eco friendliness is expensive.
That's a whole other conversation.
But then without a budget, if we're saying we value the environment, that could cost a lot of money, especially in this current climate. I don't mean that to be u pun but there you go. We each get one per episode, yeah, where you might end up spending a ton of money on ethically made cotton, organic dresses and I don't know that the beeswax thing that you wrap your sandwiches in, and all of these things lost look really pretty and fun, and we might just say I'll
do it, yeah, because I'm helping the environment. And again we extend ourselves we don't and we end up buying things we don't need.
We end up spending money we don't need to be spending.
So connecting that value with your budget and identifying where do we actually need to be spending and where can I have just my actions and lifestyle aligned with this value and it doesn't actually have to cost me a ton of money.
Yes, And the last one is valuing time through values based budgeting. Again, I don't know if I think time is a value because time yeah, yeah, so, but she says that a values based budget allows you to allocate money towards conveniences that give you time, whereas without you can spend money on all the conveniences that give you extra time without thinking if you can afford all of them. So that is the last one. But yeah, I mean
all of these are super common values. There are all things that we fall prey to, and how a values based budget can help you like rain in these things while still focusing on incorporating them into your life. Because I don't know about you, but like I sometimes feel that as a frugal person, I am more focused on not spending money and I stop focusing on doing things that I want. So, like, after six months, I look back in my life for the last six months, and
I'm like, I haven't really done anything special. And so I think that's where the freedom of a budget comes in is because it forces you to plan to do these things that make you enjoy life exactly.
It's like, to what end if you're not doing anything that's enjoyable or life giving, then why the heck put all of these restraints on yourself. And again, we're not talking about a super restrictive budget. We're talking about a budget that does bring in freedom. So this is more the mindfulness of going through these motions rather than the justification.
I think it's looking at what am I justifying but it's actually hurting my finances to how can I still value these things and value myself in that process and not be spending too much or just justifying what I'm doing.
Yes, you know what I always justified doing, and.
I'm ready to go with you because it's a value.
It is one of my core values.
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week.
Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Buck bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week.
Major in jail.
So I just went into Target because I had been out all day and I was like, I'm gonna treat myself. You know, we'll Starbucks drink. Well, walked around and I didn't buy any books, which is a huge accomplishment for me. And then I went as I was about to walk out, I went to get my Starbucks drink since I ordered a dairy free drink and Starbucks happened to be doing something that I didn't know about since it was a dairy free drink, I got it for free and that really made my day.
So that's my bill of the week. That is awesome, Savannah, that you got free Starbucks. I'm into that.
Well done, Savannah. I think I think you did two.
Miraculous things, seemingly miraculous by a lot of people's standards, not spending money at Target and getting a free Starbucks drink.
You really beat the system. Well done.
I'm we know what. I'm focusing on the free stuff, but I think this is a perfect one like to put in this episode, and we like, don't listen to
these before we play them. Is that like, obviously books you know are outside of your values, or you're finding a creative way to consume books without spending money on them because maybe you just don't value having like the rows of books at your home and so knowing that and staying true to that but also knowing like I value my Starbucks drink and so that is something I would spend money on and then you were just blessed to have it for free. I love that journey for you.
If you have gone into Target and didn't spend anything, or you've gotten free stuff, or you did spend money on something and you're super.
Glad about it.
Yeah, submit your bill of the week to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill.
We'd love to hear what you have to say. Absolutely no, it's time for light aroun.
The lightning round is one of Jill's core values. Yeah.
I've only got about three core values, and that's one of them right there. One of them is one of them in ourmost part of my being.
The others our Bucks making. Well. We are actually going to share our actual core values with you and tell you how we budget for and save on them. So, because we're pretty normal, we're average ladies, so hopefully you will find some similarities.
That can be help me. Average ladies.
We super average. So here you go, Jill.
Okay, So some of the things that I really value are really important to me. I got quite a list of bear with me time with people. I really so yeah again, whatever you want to say, whether it's community or friendship, I just really enjoy spending time with.
People and enjoying good food with people.
So this is probably an area that I spend the most on, again within reason and within budget. But that's one of the ways that I do spend time with people. There's other ways too, so it's a balancing act. I also really value generosity, So this is a combination between time and money that I like to give on being
generous sharing what I do have with others. I know I've probably shared in the past that before we had a lot of money, not that we have a lot well whatever, when we were really broke, we were able to be generous with our time and energy.
But it's been a challenge for me.
It's been something that I've really tried to focus in on that as our finances increase, as we are earning more, to also be incorporating giving of some.
Of our money in that way.
And it doesn't always look like an actual cash transaction. It might mean purchasing a meal for somebody else, or we do a ton of hosting in our home, so it's having some of the amenities for people while they're here, not charging people to stay in our home even though we are in a destination spot. Baby.
Also, health is.
Super important to me, and you'll hear Jen share about how she approaches this. But the way that I approach this is with my vitamins. Have you heard I have a blender and I really like it.
Oh yeah, it does it work well? Yeah?
Oh geez, you must not be paying attention to me, Jen, because I talk about my vitamins all the time.
I don't know where you've been. It's a blender.
It helps me use up all my veggies and fruit and it's a great way to start the day. And then I also do YouTube workout, so it's valuable to me, but I don't spend money on it. So I have said time is super valuable to me, but yes, it's what it frees me up to do. I would rather do the things that I enjoy than the things that I don't enjoy, so I will pay for convenience at times. Also, beauty is super important to me, So I don't care how big my home is, but I do want it
to feel like a RESTful, peaceful, beautiful space. So anywhere that we've ever lived, it has been important to kind of make it our own, refurnish it, renovate it. So that's something that we will spend money on to make it nice. And of course mental health is super important to me. Some of the ways that I care for myself mentally isn't going to beautiful places. So that might pair with travel, it might mean that I'll take a day off, you name it, but that's going to be something that I prioritize.
And we have a lot of the same values that we show in different ways, but for me, so my first and highest value. And this is funny because full disclosure, this is the second time we've recorded this episode because my audio on the first one was warped, and so we're recording this again.
We're half years in and this kind of stuff still happens.
It's happened. We can say it on one hand how many times we rerecord an episode, but this was one of them. And since then, I've actually kind of refined some of my core values because I'm working on this workbook. So last week I said, like, kind of my business was my highest value, but I realized that achievement is actually my highest core value. I love measurable achievement. I
am borderline obsessed with it. And it is a core value that you know is healthy, but like all your core values can also be unhealthy and if not kept in check. And so my business is the number one way I am able to show achievement. So it's what I kind of work on the most. Another one for me is health and I show that through CrossFit. I love CrossFit, but that also allows me to show measurable achievement. So that's one of the reasons why that is the
way I choose to live out my health value. And so some of the I mean all of these values, all your values can be inter you know, connected, I've found. So that's that. And so one of the biggest ways that I'm able to achieve more is by paying for daycare for my son. It is the best money I spend on a monthly.
You love that daycare, your bill of the week every week that if I had to.
Be honest, I wasn't saying Bill Curtis, I would be saying my daycare bill. So so that's so achievement is number one for me. Communities number two. I will literally drop anything on a dime for anything to hang out with my friends and family. I will do like well, certain family, but definitely friends and so I yeah, and so I thought family was one of my core values, but it turns out community is actually the core of that because my family is my community, like they're my
closest community. But I will also drop, like on a dime to hang out with anybody that's down to hang. I am always down to hang. So that is my second biggest one. And then so my third one is health. So those are my those are my top three.
And I love that there can be crossover.
We could have shared values with other people, but then the way that we walk it out might look differently, and that's okay too, It's needed. Even we both value health. I don't spend money on a gym membership. You do, but that doesn't make it. Yeah, we still both value it. So I love the freedom and permission that is accessible even when we have similar values.
Yeah, and knowing that achievement is one of my core values also helps me figure out why it's hard for me to do things that I may want to do but never end up doing them. It's because they have no achievement component. And so it's also easier to have grace for yourself when you're not doing things that you think you should be doing but are not, and to try stop trying to force yourself to be somebody who you think you should be and just be who you are.
Yes, Jen, that's the cap on this one.
We will get more and more on how who we are as we continue to explore these concepts and questions.
Absolutely. Yeah, that workbook that I mean that I've been putting together has been not to I mean, it's gonna be really cool for everyone going through it, but like it's been cool for me to think about all of the journaling questions and all of the deep dives and so yeah, it's really good. My core values have slightly changed in the past two years, but something that hasn't changed changed is how much I love paying for daycare.
I love that chorest of core v.
Daycare is my core value and that hasn't changed.
Which one has shifted, do you think so?
I think the achievement one has gotten less. I still love completing projects, but I am less motivated than I was two years ago to just achieve for the sake of achieving. And I think definitely having a second child has changed that for me. I'm in a slow season of my life. We're slowing down. We're in the summer slow down. I'm slower I mentally and physically and schedule wise. So it's just a slow season and I'm embracing that. And I don't know when things ramp back up, if
achievement necessarily will be still in my top core. But we'll see, we'll see. Yeah, how about you, Jill.
I haven't changed one bit.
You haven't. You are still talking about that friggin' Vita mix still every day. But I go to Jill's and I and she puts a smoothie in my hand from the Vitam mix.
You're like, I don't think I agreed to this, but I also don't want to waste it, so and that.
Yeah, that's it. But they're good though. They're good and I feel healthy when I am drinking them.
So it's great.
Yeah.
Still doing my YouTube workouts, y'all. When I find something, I stick to it.
That's it.
That's why I always people enjoying good food, working out with my girl Pam on YouTube.
And hosting this podcast and.
Just blending all my veggies with my Vitam mix.
So absolutely so thank you so much for listening to this rerun. We love love love reading your kind reviews, and we especially love this one from B Loves to Dance and they say love, love love. These girls are so great to listen to and giggle along with. They make frugal finance fun. Try saying that six times fass I have. They are my mom time listen to when I go for a walk. I've picked up some great tips on frugality while feeling like I've just hung out
with friends. God, bless you both. Thank you, B.
That's amazing. How what a lovely review. And I also appreciate it when people embed into their reviews when they enjoy listening to us. It gives me more things to picture and imagine when you and I are talking to each other, Jen, like who else is joining us and what are they doing right now?
Anyhow?
Thanks you going for a walk.
Yeah, thanks for listening on your walk or in your car, or while you're cooking or cleaning or just sitting.
I'd love it.
If all you do is just sit and stare at something while you listen to us. If you've enjoyed this show, please take a minute to leave a rating and review. It helps potential new listeners know what our show is all about.
See you next time. Google Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Jill.
So we've come to the time in my life time that I feared gray hair, but no postpartum hair loss.
It was related to your hair though. Look at me?
Are you you are friends? Yeah? I did, and it's you. I did not mince words. You are the better friend. You're a good friend to me. I do love you, but you are an exemplary friend. Put my hair but back to me.
Yeah, yeah, tell me what's happening for you?
So this is something they don't tell you when you are having a baby. But three months after you give birth, your hair starts to fall out. All that luscious hair that like stayed with you during pregnancy. It all goes And that's not the bad part. The unfortunate part is the regrowth growing it back.
Yeah.
Okay, did we talk about the mullet on one of our posts? No? Okay, was it you? Oh no, maybe I must tree.
Yeah, there's like a it's business all over the place or something for you.
Yeah, okay, so we already did this post show. I don't know, did we sit.
I just I know that you've talked in the past. It could be you and me just talking. I can't remember if we have a mic in front of us, because really not much changes when that happened.
No, it doesn't. But you have words in front of us.
What do you mean?
I don't know that is it? I don't even know how.
To say profanities.
You've talked with your about your first birth and the second one. How you cannot stand the regrowth of hair. Now, I think you look great and I love wild curly hair, so to me it just is a beautiful Maine. But to you, it feels like business all over and party.
Part party all over, business over party. Okay, maybe we did do this after show, remembering.
That show business and party that that that's how you love to blend things.
But you know, I'm not even going to record re record this. Yeah, this is great. We are not going to re record this. And it's all that's like on my mind for a whole month as I'm losing hair and for six months as I'm growing it back. Hats, hats, yeah, are in my future. And I'm not a hat lever, but hats are going and I got these cool new headphones to record with, so that earbuds stopped falling out of my small ears.
There's only well, and.
That could also help with the hair, the little hairs that grow up, and I can hold them back with this headphone that goes over the head like a headband.
The unfortunate part about the way you described your new headphones is that only one of them is a correct descriptor. It is indeed new, it's not not necessarily cool.
Cool with sarcasm. I hate I hate them.
Jen looks like he's gonna pilot a plane.
Yeah, I look like I look like Joe Rogan. No, Joe Rogan doesn't wear these. He's man. I can't. I can't think of a nobody wears these.
And gene you and cool.
Yeah cool? Uh so, Yeah, I look like a pilot. And but my ears are just so flip and small. I just can't. I can't do earbuds.
So everybody's gonna like be looking up pictures of you now, Like Jen, my small ears described small ears and business and party hair.
What's going on?
Yeah?
One of her children end up looking like they're real cute. They are, they are, They're real cute.
Yeah, my children took the best of me away from me.
You know where the free hot dogs are, so.
I do, I know, I do. I got more free hot dogs this weekend, and I forgot to tell you about them.
But I had a hot dog this weekend for a dollar, not free, but Ikea their cafe, not their rush, their cafe. After the checkout, I bought nothing from Ikeia except for a hot.
Dog for you.
Drove all the way to Ikea and just got already.
In Tampa, and then we were walking around and it's like, you know what I could go for?
Eric's Like, definitely, even those veggie hot dogs are good. I didn't try that one the top, it's the toppings. They're so good hot dog.
This is the longest after show ever.
Yeah, sorry guys, Okay bye,