Episode three forty two, The Importance of Honoring your Season.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and liver your life. Here your hosts, Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, And today we are doing another episode just the two of us, with no articles, because honoring your season is something that we feel very strongly about when it comes to your personal finances, and we have a lot to say on the topic, and if we included what other people also have to say, you'd be here all day. And we're not going to keep you here, So we're going to get down to the brass tacks, just the two of us, just.
The two of us, weekend.
Maybe all right, that's it.
That's all we can do. And these episodes that our original content tend to be our longest episodes because apparently we just like our own original thought.
We have so much to say.
But first, this episode is brought to you by Constants, not quite planks. Constant or constands Germany or constands Mozart. No, No, we're talking about the things that are constant in your life despite the changing seasons. There may not be many, but what a gift they are. All these constants have joined together to highlight another constant that can be incorporated into your life, and that's the friend Letter. It comes from your constant and consistent friends Jen and Jill Hi.
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So if you enjoy this episode, then a few other ones that you might like to queue up that are also associated with the book that we are writing. Episode three twenty five Step by step Guide to Values based Spending, three thirty what is the Radical Middle, how to live It? Three thirty three, how to prioritize paying off student loans, and three thirty seven how to adopt a frugal mindset. So these are all part of the book that we are writing that will be out in twenty twenty five
about values based spending and how to do it. We talk in the first episode three twenty five about what it is, and then the entire rest of the book is how do I actually practice it? Because it is. If you've ever made a budget or tried to do anything with your finances, you know that knowing is one and practicing as a whole other monster. And that's what the book is about, helping you practice and do the
things that you know you want to do. And this is where we take this conversation about the importance of honoring your season, because you're not going to be able to do all the things you want to do at the same time, or even at one time, one thing at one time. So Jill talk to us about what do we mean by life seasons? What are these various seasons of life?
Yeah, I think this is something that can be over an overused phrase like this season of life, this journey that I'm on, But there is a reality to us being in different stages or being impacted by different circumstances, sometimes for a short amount of time, sometimes for a longer amount of time. And I do think it can be a helpful metaphor, similar to how we talk about the seasons we experience as the world travels around the sun. That we've got spring, summer, winterfall, and we just have
summer if you live in Florida. But here we are. Let's pretend like there's four different seasons and sometimes life is impacted by those things. We've written episodes about that how to save money in the fall may look different than how to save money in the winter versus the summer. But then as individuals recognizing that we are not static creatures. We in and of ourselves are not constant, but dynamic.
Things are shifting and changing inside of us and the world around us, that we are impacting and being impacted. So this idea that we can make things happen and then sometimes things happen to us, and being able to recognize what those things are or the quote unquote season that we're in, is very vital to being able to navigate our finance as well and in beneficial ways. It's almost like going outside and being able to recognize the season. It's important for just what we wear, what we put
on our bodies to go outside in the summer. Not recognizing it summer and have my boots, winter coats, scarf and hat on would be very silly. Similarly, to not recognize that maybe I'm in a season of changes and shifts and i don't have as much liquid cash available to me, and yet I'm doing yolo over here and going on as many vacations as possible, that would be silly. So recognizing seasons but also being able to break it down in shorter versus longer. So we definitely have some
of our short seasons, some of our longer seasons. Short seasons might be that school school goes every nine months typically, or even shorter vacation. Maybe you're on vacation for a week or two. That is a very short season of life, but it certainly impacts our behaviors around money. Maybe you're moving, Maybe you're experiencing a shift in something that's happening in
life versus your longer seasons. Sometimes we might refer to this as having young kids, like the season of life of being in the toddler or elementary school age, or maybe a season of life where you have aging parents, Or to get even more serious about what can happen to us through life, maybe there's a divorce happening, whether for you or someone very close to you, and you're going through that season, which can take years, especially as
we talk about recovering and navigating the changes that occur because of that, or grief and loss. Maybe there's been a death close to the family and there's this season of grip. All of these things, whether it's circumstantial or emotional or relational, these create seasons of life that kind of compound and intersect with one another that should bear weight then on how we engage with our finances.
Yeah, I think we see this very often. We forget to honor our season when we'll see online a story of somebody who paid off their debt very fast, or we see somebody who's been able to save one hundred thousand dollars at a very young age, and we get discouraged because we see other people doing these things that
we want to do. I know, in business, Jill and I see our peers who may be growing faster than us in different areas, and even with this great podcast and community we've built, it's still kind of discouraging to see that we're not doing everything as awesome as the podcast, that there are other people like growing faster than us.
And it's really a matter of honoring your season and knowing that they may be in a different season than you, even if it looks like maybe they're the same, maybe they also have young kids, or maybe they're also taking vacations while paying off debt or what have you. That we don't really know what's going on behind the scenes.
So instead of comparing ourselves to the stories that we're reading on the internet and seeing on Instagram TikTok, that we have to do the deeper work of being curious with ourselves to really look at what I am capable of in the season I'm in. And so all of these seasons can even converge. And so you may not be able to practice values based spending or grow your wealth as quickly as you want to. It may you
down a little bit. But knowing that that's not a excuse, it's not an excuse to not be pursuing it, that these seasons are not setbacks. That we realize that, yes, we have young kids. I may not be able to post to social media three times a day like somebody else, and this is where I'm at, but it doesn't mean that I can't do what is in my capacity. And it's getting curious to figure out what is in my capacity.
Yeah, and I think that you're beginning to highlight this next question of why is it so important? How do these seasons impact us? And primarily we're speaking from a financial perspective, but obviously it's going to impact all parts of us. And one of the concepts that has been evident to me in considering seasons is something that we
talk about in the field of social work. It's social work one oh one one of the very first things that they drill into us as we've pursued that that education is person in environment or PIE for short, because we need food, motivations, to remember acronyms, and I'm here for it. I do like pie. It's good, but stands
for a person and environment. And so recognizing that we also don't exist in a vacuum or kind of alone on an island, that we are individuals experiencing our own things, having emotional, relational, physical experiences, and we are also in an environment, an economic environment, maybe a certain climate, certain geographical location, and the converging of these things matters when
it comes to helpful interventions, resources, tools, supports. They're all important to understand what does this mean for my next steps forward? So this should absolutely impact then the decisions that we make for ourselves. Of course financially, what does this mean for my budget? And one of the things that we can do here is consider well, what is my season within each of these categories, Like my season isn't just it's summertime outside? What is my season? Physically?
Where am I at currently with caring for my body? Or maybe did you just have a baby. That's like the most easy to relate to understanding of a physical season, like are you currently pregnant? Did you just give birth? There's a reality to then a physical season of what you can or should expect from yourself and your body. What's your current emotional season? Are you going through a rough patch? Have you found yourself feeling very emotionally or
relationally depleted? What's the season of relationship with your kids or spouse or yourself or you single? What's your current spiritual season? How are you feeling in that aspect of your personhood, mental? Financial? Has there been a job loss or did you have a raise? Not all of our seasons are going to be super awful seasons. I think it's also important to recognize when there's really phenomenal seasons happening, but again to put it in the framework of season,
because all seasons do come to an end. Sometimes seasons last for a year, sometimes multiple years, sometimes just a few months, And we also need to recognize when we're in a really phenomenal season to be able to take advantage of that, recognizing that most likely not to be doom and gloom, but there will be a time that things are not so amazing, and is there something that I could be doing now to prepare myself to be ready for the possibility of something not going that great,
maybe even outside of our control, whether it's inflation, or the economy, tanks or the housing market isn't what it used to be. Heyo, have we ever been there before? So recognizing or even preparing for Oh, I want to make some changes in my career, So how can I leverage my current season to make that transition more smooth for myself? So all of this as examples of why
it's important to know where we are. Identify where we are because that's going to inform what we then do currently and prepare ourselves for what's next.
Yeah, we also have to be honest and realistic about the past, present, and future. So recognizing that past seasons will have impact on us, especially if they are seasons where we were not fully aware of who we were, what we wanted, or they were seasons that happened to us, and so those will all have bearing on what you were doing now. They should not control you. You have control over where you are now, but that doesn't mean
that your past seasons are not impacting you. I think sometimes when we talk about growth mindset, and personal finance. We take a lot of this. I have control over everything. I have the ability to increase my wealth, all this like growth stuff, and sometimes that can result in some shame when past things that have happened to us or current things happen to us, and we think, why am I not being able to have control? Like it's a
really helpless feeling. But just because you have this mindset of growth, or we like to call it curiosity, just because that's your mindset doesn't mean that life will not happen to you. If you are living, life will happen to you. Things out of your control will happen to you. Again, you can have control in some of those things. Even if you can't control all of it. You can control some things. And some of that is a fight or flight control. If it is super fresh, then you're gonna
be in fight or flight. And that's not wrong, that's not bad, like you need that, but it is kind of embracing that season and knowing this is where I'm at. I understand that I cannot make long term decisions right now because this is where I'm at. I got to
give myself so much time and then reevaluate. Then rethink making long term decisions or even short term decisions, So being realistic about past seasons, present seasons, and then kind of like what Jill was saying, with future seasons, knowing that if stuff's bad right now, it's gonna get better in the future, and living in that hope and thinking about I know that's it's for somebody to say, but living in that, and then also knowing if things are
really great, that they're not going to stay great forever. And just because there's something that happens that I don't know maybe makes things quote unquote less great or even can be traumatic, that you will come out of that too, and to be preparing now for anything, but not living in the I can sometimes live in that like, oh, things are so great, bad things are bound to happen because everything is so great now. So you don't want
to live in that unhealthy mindset. Catch yourself and be like, hey, I am so blessed right now and really embrace that moment. Use it as a way to embrace that moment and say, how can I preserve this when life happens to me? How can I keep this a little bit of this in the ups and downs of life.
I think throughout all of this, it's so important to also keep a pulse on in our emotional mental state as we're going through this, because we can't just be
people of action. I think that there's a lot of messaging out there of just do this, this and that, and there isn't this person and environment perspective to say, well, there could be emotions that are barriers to being able to do this, this or that, or we need to be able to have time to heal from a past season before we can be ready to have some level
of implementation now. And so I think also recognizing that that's going to be a part of this entire journey is recognizing where even especially guilt and shame might be present, how that's impacting the way that you're feeling about your current seasons, or maybe the season you've just stepped out of, or the season you want to be entering into managing those emotions, receiving the support that you need, because we aren't going to be able to go very far in
this endeavor of honoring our seasons if we're being so weighed down by non beneficial emotions that keep us from making these actions that are aimed at well being for us financially or otherwise. So that's kind of an overarching theme that we need to be cognizant of and for me, just for both of us, Jen and I to highlight that that's a massive component to financial behaviors is how we're feeling about it, our mental state, our emotional state,
what's happening for us relationally. So it's a fantastic place to start when we kind of move into this question of how do we even know what season we're in? Of recognizing that there can be a various types of emotions surrounding our seasons and dealing with or addressing those and responding to those first and foremost is going to be crucial to actually being able to have some successful implementation. So how do we know what season we're in? And, as Jen said, I think it is first we have
to be curious, like we're asking that question. So it lends itself to this curious George type approach of we've got to ask ourselves that question and here's a phenomenal template of past, present, and future that we can be curious first about what has just happened to me? Is there a season that I recently came out of? Or is the past kind of still defining the season that I'm in, But it does include a looking back, where am I coming from? Where have I just traveled out of?
Or what's just behind me? What's happened to me? And this is another one of those social worky questions where we want to look at what's happen to me versus what's wrong with me? And that's of course a great approach with other people as well, not what's wrong with you, but hey, what's happened to you? It creates space for much less guilt and shame when we can ask ourselves
that question. And with each of these past, present, and future, we want to look at our whole personhood again, physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, financial, And then we can throw in some other categories of context, environment, economy, location, Where are you? What has that looked like? In each one of those categories? How would you define what the past has looked like?
Yeah? I want to make a note too, is that just because we're asking what happened to me or we're talking about things out of our control, doesn't automatically equate to having a victim mentality. So I think some people might be scared that. I want to say that every things in my control because I don't want to be a victim. I'm not a victim being curious about what has happened to you or where you're at how you
got there. Again, we want to if you listened to our how to cultivate a frugal mindset, you know that we avoid asking why questions like why am I like this? Why do I do this? Stuff like that, But we we want to use the other w's, what where when? Questions like that. And if you're curious about your contacts, then you're looking at triggers, habits, actions, and you're still looking for what you have control over in the situation,
versus just automatically putting it on other people. So I want to like just mention that differentiation, especially when we're talking about the past, but it can come up a lot when we talk about the present too, So we mean consider some of the obvious parts of our present season. So, homeowner or rental, the financial advice that you take as a homeowner is different as a renter. It's different if you're a renter who wants to stay renting or a
renter who wants to own a home. It's different for a homeowner who wants to continue to pay their mortgage or pay their mortgage off fast. All of those situations are good, none of them are bad. They will all accept different financial advice. Right, So it's different if you're married or single, kids, no kids, younger kids, older kids. What are your responsibilities? Are you taking care of aging parents?
And I think a lot of us need to be looking at that more than we are, because we are all coming to the point where we're going to need to start thinking about our parents' age, even if they're not there yet, and talking to our parents of what have you set up financially to prepare yourself for this period? And then also, oh you have if you haven't prepared anything, what do I need to be prepared and what do I need to be talking about with my siblings stuff
like that. So that goes into future, but right now, if you're caring for any family, aging parents, stuff like that, and then other just life circumstances, that's where these short seasons come into play. So you're back to school season, your summer, your Christmas season or that Christmas season comes around every single year. Every way you do your fine right. The way you do your finances in the spring can
look different than around the holidays. I know a lot of people trying to like get their money right, pay off their debt can feel guilt when in the fall they were doing really well and then the holidays come and everything is quote unquote out the window. They feel like they've regressed. Right, in reality, that's a different season
that you can live differently in. You obviously don't have to if the holidays really aren't your thing, But if they are your thing, living in that season and embracing that and spending your money differently is not regressing. It's not failing or you know, life just throwing you a curveball and you got to get back on the wagon. Plan for this, plan for these seasons. So that's what we look for when we're looking at how do our
present seasons? How do we know what season we're in the present, and how does that affect how we're going to spend money.
Yeah, and I think sometimes our present season can be defined by what the future season is going to be. This is kind of honoring your season two h one, but we can include future. We can be asking ourselves along with these other questions, what do I know of each of these categories? For what the future? Even just immediate future. We can be overachievers and talk about five ten years down the road, but also just look at the obvious. Yes, what is fall coming up? Is winter
coming up? Is Christmas coming? Most likely? Yes? At some point it's just around the corner. And are there things that might be impacting present season because of what's to come? We can also include goals. Do we know that retirement is coming? Yes? We do. Do we know that we want to be changing some things with our career? Do we know that we're about to wrap up our schooling? Whatever it is? What do I know is right in front of me over the next couple of months or year?
How is that currently impacting me now? And are there things that I can be doing to incorporate for what's next? And again, as we're asking all of these questions, we are also keeping a pulse on our emotions around money. How each of these seasons have impacted us, again, emotionally and relationally, because that is profoundly important, especially if the season has been a difficult one. Have you struggled to pay off debt in the way that you have wanted to.
Have you experienced a death in the family, Have you experienced a divorce or a breakup, or having some really difficult relational dynamics with people that have been close to you, all of these things and when we say honor it, we're going to get to this of Okay, what does this mean? But it first and foremost means recognizing it as bearing weight on your ability to take beneficial action.
We cannot expect one hundred percent out of ourselves when a lot of our emotional relational capacities are going to difficult things. We just don't have as much resource inside of us when we're being depleted by other really heavy, overbearing things, and that needs to be recognized. It's not recognized by social media when all these people are just spouting off all of their tasks that they have accomplished.
But in reality, we are dynamic people, we are whole people, and these things bear weight on one another, sometimes meaning that we need to give ourselves permission to slow down and sometimes permission to speed up. But it's not always going to look the same depending on what's happening in our lives. So that does lead to the next question of what do we do about it? What do we do about the fact that now I know what season have been and how I've been impacted.
Yeah, so once you figure out the season that you're in, past, present, future, and I think you can do this on a sheet of paper, right, I would probably take pen to paper to do something like this because it's just three questions, right, like what season did I just come out of? What season am I currently in? And where do I want to be in the future slash what do I know is coming that's going to affect my spending? Obviously, this exercise can affect a lot of things. We're looking cifically
at spending because that's what we talk about mostly. So of course, after you've identified your season, you want to revisit your ninety day spending inventory. So we did that when we had our step by step guide to Values based Spending, we talked about taking a ninety day transaction inventory where you're not starting. A lot of things will have you start or methods will have you start tracking
your current spending. We want you before you start changing anything in the present, we want you to look at the past ninety days so that you can start to identify your spending triggers. And so now that you have this perspective of season, going back and looking at those triggers, and there are probably going to be some that are unique to the last ninety days that maybe you didn't have that trigger before, or maybe you're not feeling it
now and it's an easy one to get up. Or you might learn some new things about your spending with this new perspective of like curiosity and season. So going through that and looking at your current spending patterns are going to give you a little bit more insight. And then consider your money goals short term and long term. We want to prioritize these goals, but first we want
to write them all down. So again you can even do this on the same piece of paper that you did that past Present Future exercise on and look at them and say, Okay, these are my short term financial goals, my short term spending goals, and these are my long term financial goals. And I don't know if you'll have long term spending goals, maybe spend more money on vacations or travel, but definitely you'll have short term spending goals
and then short and long term financial goals. And so write them down and with the perspect of your season. So if you're if you've got young kids and you've chosen to have one parent stay at home with those kids and one parent working, you may not be able to pay off one hundred thousand dollars a debt in one year. That may not be your story like it is for somebody else who are dual income no kids. Obviously,
that is an extreme, an exaggerated example. But just look at these goals with a new lens of season, so that you can prioritize correctly. Like maybe a goal that you wanted to do first is not as easily accomplished right now, it might be more easily accomplished down the road. That doesn't mean you don't accomplish any financial goals right now.
It means you choose another that's better suited for the season. This, all of this talk about season and embracing where you're at, it just means that we're choosing goals and actions that are appropriate so that we don't get discouraged by failing quote unquote failing ourselves. We are avoiding that guilt and shame cycle of choosing other people's financial goals in the
years that they say we should achieve them. And we're choosing our own financial goals in the season that we are in, and we are choosing when and how we pursue them.
Yes, because all of this helps in the narrative and story that we tell ourselves about these things. Knowing, having full knowledge and a good grasp on our season and intentionality around the decisions we're making in light of our season is what's going to help us. Whether the storms of basically social media or that comparison trap that can happen to know, Oh, that's really cool for them, here's why it's not looking that way for me, or that's not my goal, And man does that produce such a
competence and and empowerment. But to get back to these steps about what do we do about knowing our season? I think the next step after considering our money goals is looking at then the spending plan. So this is where we're bringing it down into even a shorter amount of time that we're engaging with. Our spending plan should be happening every month, so our money goals might be monthly, yearly,
or even further beyond than that. When we're talking short term and long term, and then we're comparing those goals with well, what is our spending looking like, and how are we planning for our spending? What reasonably can we be contributing to these various money goals or our current spending that we feel good about that's aligned with our values,
which then leads into the next steps. And once we've got all of this down, we've got our ninety day spending tracked, we've considered our short and long term spending goals. We've then compared that to our spending plan. This is the most complicated step, but it is bringing it all into realistic alignment. This is where we need some of that thinking, putting our brains to work, where we're synthesizing, we're meaning making, we are making it really individualized to us.
Sometimes this is going to mean we've got to talk with our spouse or partner or close friends. We need some expert opinions of your meeting with a mental health professional even talk with them about it. This is where we can bring some of these trusted voices into play as we create some realistic alignment for ourselves. That can then create that confidence that we've talked about of Okay, maybe some of these money goals aren't realistic for me right now, or I'm going to need to push this
off seven years instead of five years. But ooh, I can ramp up on this goal because that makes sense for me in this timing where I currently am, where I've come from, and where I want to be going. This synthesized synthetization, my making up words or I'm just not saying the word right synthesization. This is something sounds weird when it comes out of my mouth. But bringing it all into alignment, and unfortunately we can't give you the exact blueprint on that. This needs to be your
own ownership of honoring your season. What does that look like when you now have a good grasp of where you're currently at, what your money looks like, what you want to do with it, and your own values.
Yeah, and this is this is this part in your financial money management, values based spending journey where you can start to look at different schools of thought on paying off debt, spending money investing. It's good to hear from different voices so that you can figure out what's right for you. And you're not here during the same voice
or voices that are all saying the same thing. At first, you can definitely just choose one voice to listen to, but once you get a feeling for what season you're in, you can expand and see like, Okay, this person is saying this, but they're assuming they're saying it to this type of person and that's not me. So let me see what this person has to say about it, and
do I agree. You don't have to agree one hundred percent with what everybody says to be growing your net worth, to be growing in the right direction with your money, you don't have to be following anybody's plan one hundred percent to be successful. And so that's kind of what bringing it all into realistic alignment is. Like, maybe you're following the debt snowball for a few months and then you pay off something and then you switch to the
avalanche for a different debt. Maybe it's you are focusing on investing for a few months because you have the opportunity to max out a roth IRA before the deadline. Maybe you're switching to say for a house because you've come into a windfall. Like there are all these different examples. We could never share them all, but I think the important thing is to realize that you can do things
whatever way you want. Don't want to create a month spending plan, create one paycheck to paycheck or one every two weeks. You can do things however you want, at the pace that you want. You can have it your way.
Knowing your season helps you to plan realistically, because we all know that you can't afford every way to meet a value at every time, and especially not all at once. That you'll have to say no to some things, and knowing when to say no and when to say yes are essential, and it is intricately connected to your season. So honor that season. And you know what else we like to honor, and we always know the right timing.
It's always the season for it.
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams.
Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Duck bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week.
Hey, Jen and Joe, my name is Lauren, and my bill of the week this week is a actual duck bill. So my husband and I spent about three years getting our finances is an order in particular thanks to y'all, and we're able to finally purchase a home that's large enough for us to have a backyard poultry flock, and so we now have chickens and ducks.
So thank y'all so much.
And that's my bill of the week, an actual bill of a duck named Wattles.
Wattles wattle at a wattle lotta wattle. I love this.
I am shook, Lauren. I'm so thankful that you shared this duck bill with us and that we played a small part in bringing Wattles journey to you.
I love the creativity here because people are really understanding the assignment these days, that it's truly about you making big financial moves to be able to afford a house that can include your love of chicken and ducks and space to roam. And it all sounds beautiful and aligned with your values. But your bill is Waddles, the duck who lives on your property. I love that. I love
every part of that, Lauren. And congratulations on your house and your duck and your strong ability to name your duck. If you all listening, have bought a house, but more importantly, you've got animals on that property that represent your bills, or you happen to name your animals Bill, or you are Bill naming animals. Visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash Bill give it to us. We know now more than ever you understand this segment, and now it's time for then.
All right, wow, we are going to share with you actual, current, real life examples of our seasons in the vulnerability round. So it's so vulnerable, I know, right, So, how would you describe your current season and how have you aligned your money goals with it? Jill, would you like to go first?
Okay, I kind of took this as a define your current season in one sentence or less, and then how are you? So here you go in a succinct way. I am a married homeowner with no kids. I will add post renovation. That's recognizing the season. I'm just coming out of making shifts in my career, recognizing what's coming
in the future, and it's impacting the present. So as a result of this, currently and intentionally, with full knowledge and grasp of this season, we are making making less money now than we have previously and that's an active choice so that I can have more flexible and enjoyable work in the future. But it really is leveraging this curren season. It's a choice I'm making now post renovation because I'm not hemorrhaging cash on getting appliances from my household.
I wouldn't have been able to make this career shift six months ago. Only now can I do this because now money can be freed up or I don't need as much liquid cash available to me. So it's an interesting thing to be at a stage of adulthood where I am actively saying, sure, I'll make less money, but
it's something I'm choosing. Thankfully, it's not something that has happened to me, and my goodness if this just isn't the culment nation of values based spending and living a frugal life, because sometimes we make those choices because we want more freedom and flexibility, or we want to lean into an aspect of our work and personhood that is
joy giving and not depleting. And so that's where I'm at right now, of course, with the hope that in the future it will eventually make more money for me, but currently actively making a choice to make less which if you want even more vulnerability, is meaning that probably for this year, we will not be maxing out our wroth. Ira take a deep breath. I know we tell everybody that you should absolutely do this, and yes, if you can, you should. This year, I don't think it's going to
be possible. I don't want to stay in that place forever, so I'm going to have to keep a pulse on that. But it's also me Honoring my season means giving myself permission to not completely go to the fullest extent that I might want to with retirement savings. I'm still going to be contributing some. I just don't think this year we're going to be able to max it out, and that's a choice I'm making for more enjoyable, flexible work in the future.
What about you, Jen similar spot Well. I am a married homeowner with a preschooler and baby amidst an entire home renovation and having made shifts in both of our careers that have lowered both of our incomes. We are in a season where we have bitten off more than we can chew more than I.
Can for the sign up for the friend letter right for who Friend's Pocket a second letter.
Oh yeah, I mean in total honesty, it is a mistakes were made.
Hey, And how does that impact your emotions and how does that impact your current season?
Yeah, so I am in I mean not getting as much sleep as I should. And I am a person and who hates a cluttered house. I thrive in a very minimalist environment. And everything is everywhere all the time, and from like construction materials to tools to kids' toys. So it's like it's an intense season for me right now. We came out of we bought this house a year and a half ago almost, and we are I mean prior to that for five years, loved my home, no
renovations needed. Was very like calm, tranquil space for me. And I know that this is not a season that will we will be in forever. The house is it's like three quarters done, so I'm being told the end is in sight. We'll see.
I don't know, it won't last forever.
But that for us means so with the job switches. So Jill and I are both doing the podcast full time now, which has meant and you know, all of the money that we make of Rgal Friends is split fifty to fifty, you know, for two people, So it would be a great income for one person, but there's two of us, so it's it's like frozen cons to partnership. It's beautiful. I love it. And then my husband just took a job where he has a fantastic schedule now versus being called in to work at two am, like
several times a week. But it's a pay cut because of that. And so we are also not maxing out our retirement for the first time since twenty seventeen. So that's been a choice. You know, that was hard for me to make, but thankfully we are so far along that even if we take a couple of years off, we're still on track for retirement. So it's still very hard decision. And then just kind of being kind to myself in not wanting to be at home as much.
I got a gym membership at another gym that's like twenty bucks a month, and it's probably the best twenty bucks a month I spend because I can work out in air conditioning outside of my home and just be there if I want to be there, just languish there for a little longer than I should. But yeah, it's an intense season right now, and I'm very much looking forward to when the intensity softens. In the midst of this, we have to like write an entire book, right So
it's fighting off more than you can chew? Is I think the best definition of the season that I'm in, But yeah, I think so the greatest. I think what's saving us is kind of cutting our investing in half. And we are able to do that because our spending is We're in control of our spending.
Yeah, And I think this is where it is a great example of where prioritization comes into place. Like, here's all of the reality. So I can't do all of the things. I hope to not stay here for long, And the best way to not stay here for long is to incorporate as many kindnesses as possible right now so that you can move into a different season that frees up more margin.
Yeah, And it doesn't mean that just because I'm overwhelmed doesn't mean I'm not making movement. I'm just making movement in different ways. So I think training for this half marathon that's happening in November has been my way of forcing myself to move my body, and that's really all I can that's all I can manage right now, is that's my priority. That's my goal is taking care of me because I also have to take care of so many other people that I need to focus on me
more than my financial goals right now. And I guess this house is kind of a financial goal. It is half of it is an investment property which we have rented out and is bringing an income. But yeah, man, it's tough, tough time. But thank you so much for listening. I hope that this episode has encouraged you. If you're feeling quote unquote behind or like life just keeps messing up your plans, that you are encouraged that you know
life happens. Life cannot mess up your plans. Life only alters them so that you are able to pivot in a way that.
Works for you.
And we love reading your kind reviews, especially when they are five stars. I like this one from MMJJ Painter, who says love Jen and Jill. I listen to a lot of podcasts and this is in my top three. I love the camaraderie between Jen and Jill and it spills over to the audience. I feel like I'm a frugal friend too.
You are.
Yes, you definitely are.
That's one of my favorite meant to read is when people say I feel like a frugal friend, because me too. I am envisioning you all as I'm talking, because I'm talking to Jen and I'm also talking to you and with you and laughing with you.
Yeah.
I love that. I'm so glad you feel that way because we feel that way. So thank you for listening. And if the rest of you who are listening enjoyed this show, please take a minute to review and rate us, just like M. MJ. Painter did. It really does help other people find the show. It helps us create more frugal friends, find them and engage with them and do fun things together.
Yes, and we will see you next time in whatever season you may be in. He Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Siriani. All right, Jill, we have to talk about this, Okay. I am in the season of my life where I got lasick yesterday and you drove me to and from my surgery and everyone's like, well, if you can't invest, why are you spending so much money on lasik? Well I'll tell you why.
Who's asking you that?
The person who just got that in their head. I see you. I took part of our book advance I had made in May when we got our deal, our book deal. I said, if the deal is above this number, then I'm going to take part of my advance and get Lasik as a celebration, Like that's how I'm going to celebrate this book deal.
How long have you been wanting Lasick for?
Oh my gosh, ten years?
Oh wow, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, like ten years, and my eyes have been the same like prescription for like that whole time. It's just like I couldn't justify the cost.
And it sounds like you've been wanting Lasik more than and for longer than you've been wanting Carabas's that's saying a lot.
Absolutely, I can say without a doubt that I've wanted Lasik more than Carabas for a long time.
But now that you have Lask, you can just chow down on some Carabas.
Yes, I know. Right today, the day that this comes out is actually my eighth wedding anniversary, and.
At the anniversary, thank you.
I hope that Travis takes me to Carabas. You know. I can only hope and I'll be able to see, But I'm just gonna say, like, I can see without my contacts or glasses, and I was almost legally blind. I had a negative six point two five contact, So I don't know the people who wear contacts will will be familiar with what that means. But could not see a foot past a foot in front of my face
when they told me. They told me to take off my glasses to lay down on the table to have the surgery, and I took them off, and as soon as I took them off, I was like, I'm sure you get this a lot, but like, I can't see anything, so can you help me on the table? Because I had to like walk over there and I couldn't see it. So it was literally fifteen minutes and I sat up and I could see words like.
On the wall instantly. Oh so wild. One of the most wild procedures I think out there. However, you still did have a moment where when I drove you home, you didn't know the direction of your house. They did have to lead you through that.
Okay, here's the thing. As soon as you have the procedure, like you're supposed to have your eyes closed for the next three hours. And I was closing my eyes. So she pulls. She backs in, Yeah, likeway like a boss back and in. But I'm a normal person and I pull into my driveway. And so I get out, thinking this person is normal and has pulled into my driveway. And she forgot that I was a boss.
I did.
I forgot you were a boss. And I was walking away from my house and Jill thought this was the funniest thing.
Meanwhile, I thought I was being kind, thinking I'm going to back in so that because where your front door is would be on the side of the passenger door of the car, so that you wouldn't have to walk around the car. I thought that your body would have felt the reality that we went in reverse when I was driving you home, and that just wasn't the case.
I was on a dose of TILE and l PM and and my eyes were like swollen shut.
So no, again, there's no problem with it. It was my favorite part, is what I'm saying.
I couldn't even open my eyes to put the code into my door. I had to like tell you what it is. I yeah, I couldn't open my eyes. But then I woke up like five hours later from my nap, and like I'm I'm seeing like I had contacts in and I went in for a post top this morning and I have twenty fifteen vision after being blind yesterday, I have twenty fifteen vision today.
Just a new money, a new season you're in. Now, you're in the season where you can see.
Yeah. I've never spent money more in alignment with my values ever, not even in Corromos.
Well done, Happy aunniversary, Thank you,