Episode three sixty five, Rich Friend Secrets with your rich bff Vivan two.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live a life here your hosts, Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and we are super excited to have our rich bff Vivan two. She has a new book coming out and we're wealth is something we love to talk about but hate to hear about, right. We love talking about how to get our money right, but we don't always love defining ourselves as wealthy or rich, which I think even somebody's always more richer than you, right, and you're like, I'm not there, so I'm not rich.
And today we are really going to be debunking that mindset and hopefully we'll instill you with the social responsibility to define yourself as that. And Vivian's going to be giving you some tips on how to do that, how to accomplish that. And it was a really good, really good interview.
Yeah, she's such a connectable person. Is that a word. She's easy to connect with, laid back and really helpful perspective, especially her story of how she kind of came into the space that she's in now so excited to share it.
Yes, but first, this episode is brought to you by No Spend January. Yep, that's right. It's not brought to you by Christmas, even though Christmas is so close and my son is out of school today because Christmas is so close, and why a Friday. I just wanted to be just two weeks, but we got two weeks and an extra day and it's throwing me off. But anyways, let's move past Christmas, all right. If Christmas is a little much for you right now, let's start thinking about January.
In January, we are doing a no spend challenge. All the frugal friends are doing it and including Jill and I, and so we're going to be documenting our journeys. Jill is going to be documenting it in the friend letter. I am going to be over on Instagram at TikTok and we are going to walk you through no Spend January.
We're talking about how we're preparing for it, what we do when the days and the times come up where it is hard to actually say no, what we're doing afterwards with the money we've spent, how we're budgeting all of these things. We want to hold your hand and walk you through it. So if you would like to do no spend January with us, sign up for the friend letter. All of our friend letters in January will be kind of centered around the concepts that will help
you succeed with a no spend month. Follow Frugal Friends podcast on Instagram and Modern Frugality on TikTok and or Instagram. I'll be doing the same videos on all the platforms, So follow along, and let's identify our spending habits that may have gotten at a whack over the holiday season, so we can connect with them and reevaluate if these are habits that serve us or their habits that we want to lay down and replace with something healthy.
This challenge is what we need in the timing that we need it. You can join other community members and the knowledge that you're not alone in this. You can even right back to us in the emails, so it's really great.
Yes, Frugal Friends podcast dot com. We're got to same brain wavelength to we are. So this is this is not a topic we talk about a lot because we don't consider ourselves a get rich net worth investing show. But a thread that runs through all of our episodes is we are not frugal for frugal's sake. We do not save money for the sake of saving money. Our accomplishment with money is not defined by how much money we saved on a shirt or if we bought something secondhand.
We do these things to have a greater impact on the world. And yes, some of that impact is sustainability time, but a part of that impact is money. Sometimes the greatest impact you can have in non monetary areas is through accumulating wealth. Because the money is there, either you have it or it's going to someone else. Right, they're even printing more of it, so like we have a
responsibility to acquire it and do good with it. So Vivian is on a global mission to make the financial industry less mail, pale, and stale, and she is speaking right to you. She's a former Wall Street trader turned expert educator, public speaker. She is so relatable and she is a genuinely great person. There are so many people, There are a lot of great people on the Internet, and Vivian is definitely one of the best. And she is known as your rich BFF. She is our rich BFF.
We hope that by the end of this interview she's yours as well, and that you go get her book.
Yeah, let's get into the interview.
Vivian, Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. We are so excited to have you here. Thank you so much for having me.
Yes, welcome, Welcome. I love interviews, They're my favorite, and you're just a powerhouse, so I'm just glad to be here.
Yeah, Jill loved Jill spends a lot of time on TikTok. She is extremely invested there and so she's she knows exactly everything that you've ever put out. But for people who are not like for people who are not like Jill, can you just tell us how, like a bit about how you came to be your rich BAAF, because I think that's a fun story.
Yeah.
So I started my career on Wall Street. I was a trader and that was just like the traditional path that I thought I was going to take. And after I ended up leaving Wall Street and going to the media and tech world because I wanted to wear sweatpants and make more money. My new friends were all basically like hey, can you help me rebalance my four O one K Which health insurance plan did you pick? Should I be buying our company stock options? And I got
so many of the same questions. I thought, Hey, like, why don't I just put these videos for my coworkers, not for everyone, for my coworkers online. And I did that January first of twenty twenty one. And let me say, this was back when TikTok was still tiktoking. It was premium TikTok is TikTok like without ads basically, And.
The very first.
Video ended up hitting and by the end of the week that video ended up getting I want to say, like three million views and I had one hundred thousand followers, and I was terrified. I had no idea where I was going to take this. I was, you know, completely lost. There were no people in my life who were doing this for a living or even doing it as a hobby. So I just had to kind of figure it out as I went, and I was building the plane as I was flying it.
That is a terrifying thing to happen, Like you put out one thing and say now I have to have a whole strategy and a path was.
Famous for that, Like there were so many people, Like first video was just going off and I remember your video. That video in particular was on like that front page of TikTok forever when when TikTok for you page was actually a page and it was just it was just there,
like and it was so good. It was so helpful. Uh, and like you just and you built the plane better than anybody, like any other plane while it was flying, like you just you went off and like every single thing was just like helpful and I loved, Like I love it, and still like everything is helpful. It's like not pushing the next affiliate that's gonna make you the most money. I'm obsessed, like use this crypto bank, use this crypto app, kill me. Yeah, I love it. I
love it. And so yeah, you're like you're one of the good ones. And so I'm excited to talk about your book and to kind of talk about, like expound a little bit on like rich friend secrets. So what are some of So what are some of the preconceived notions about rich people that you're kind of like made your mission to debunk or like make accessible. Yeah.
I think first and foremost is that rich people are somehow like morally superior.
To the rest of us.
In fact, typically quite the opposite. I would say, like, you know, I think when we think about rich people, our society generally places them on a pedestal. They're better, faster, stronger, whatever. But in reality, they've just figured out the rules of the game and have built up a strategy when the rest of us didn't even know there was a rule book to be reading. So they're not better than you.
I love to say that rich people are lazy, but lazy in a smart way, in that, you know, instead of you know, using their bodies or their minds and labor for money, they have realized that their money is a better money making tool than themselves, so they're able to make money in a more passive way. And I also say that, like, you know, there's nothing wrong with
being entitled. We've all seen the horrific videos of like, some rich Karen at the front of the McDonald's line yelling at some poor eighteen year old kid who's working this part time job, and like is not the reason why her order's messed up. But in a tiny portion, entitlement is okay, and when used correctly, it just means you know your value. Don't go yell at some poor eighteen year old, but you are allowed to be entitled
because your business has value. Go negotiate that late fee on your credit card, Go negotiate your Wi Fi bill, Make sure that you are paying as little as humanly possible for your favorite streaming service. Like there are so many ways that you can negotiate, and most people just don't because they think that rich people pay full sticker price because they can afford it. No, rich people are the cheapest people I have ever met in my entire life.
They will negotiate and negotiate and negotiate until there is nothing left to be negotiated.
That is something that I have seen and with a lot of the people who I know. Of course, there are various types of people in all categories of society. But when it comes to a lot of the wealthier people that I know, this can be true. It can be a little irksome to me at times, like why
have being so stingy? But I think that there is some of that mentality that is what led them to some of these places, depending on how they came upon wealth, whether it's generational or sound within their lifetime, lots of caveats to be made, but yeah, I think the practices that we put in place now are what's going to set us up for the possibilities of more and more wealth. You're mentioning a couple of these things, but I'm curious back to your I wanted to make more money in
my sweatpants instead. So for other people, that's really resonating with, like they kind of want the lazy version of wealth building and aiming at Hey, how can I what is that rule book? What would you say for the regular people listening who don't have trust funds and yet would like a little bit more money.
Yeah, you know, listen, I don't have a trust fund. My family did not grow up like that. We don't have money like that. I hope my kids do. I hope I can give them that because I didn't have that growing up.
But for everyone.
Who is listening who is like, man, I just want to kick up my feet. I want to relax, don't I do not dream of labor. You've probably heard that since you're all over TikTok. Well, you know what, let's think about where we're getting our money right now. If you're an individual and you work. Your source of income is through your work.
You labor.
A lot of us are w two employees. Some people are ten ninety nine. You're a freelancer. Whatever you do something, you get money.
Great.
The problem with that, though, is as soon as you stop doing that thing, you stop getting paid, and you need to find as many things and new streams of income where even when you stop doing the thing, you can keep getting paid. So the easiest one, and I say this as a joke, is the only way you can be a two income household as a single person,
and very easily is through investing. Because if you are able to take some of that money that you earn by doing that thing and then put it into an investing account, whether that be a retirement account, an educational account like a five two nine for your future kiddo, into just even a traditional brokerage account, you then invest those funds into index funds that track the broader market, the total market, maybe have a couple ETFs that focus
on sectors you're passionate about. If you're super lazy and just want to kind of set it and forget it, you can consider a target date retirement fund. That money is going to make you money while you chill, while you sleep, and it works twenty four to seven. It doesn't need a lunch break, it doesn't need to go to the bathroom, It doesn't need to go see their doctor get their teeth checked by their dentist. That money
is working around the clock like a hamster wheel. While you can continue to do some of that labor, continue have that money coming in, put a little bit of that money into that investing, and over time, the amount of money you earn from doing that thing will become a smaller and smaller portion of the money coming in, and the money you earn from your money working will be a larger and larger portion of the money coming in.
And what you want is for that pie chart to start out with a large section being money from labor and a small section being money from investing, and then over time those two essentially switch, so you can work, work, work less, and chill more and still have enough money coming in to support your lifestyle. Let you do fun stuff and continue to buy groceries and have a roof over your head.
I think this is one of the reasons that we hear so many people advocating for beginning to invest young that if you are kind of one of those normal, typical people who doesn't feel like you have a lot, then time is on your side to start early. And I think we're seeing a lot more, at least than from our generation, starting to understand and learn these things, probably thanks to people like you, Vivian, letting people know on TikTok how to do this thing.
Yeah, I love the way you put it in that like pie Shart, like starting, yes, starting out laboring, but we don't want that to be forever because everyone thinks that they're going to retire at sixty five seventy, and the average retirement age is between sixty and sixty five, so like you're not going to get those You're likely not going to get those last five years you think you're going to get working, So to start as early as possible, start five years earlier than you think you
should with investing, then you kind of protect those last five years. Like in the middle, Yes, everyone's working, everyone's investing, Like everyone's going to have pretty similar middles, But it's what you do and the beginning and the end that like makes a big difference. And if you can just start a little earlier, then you had planned on. Then you'll set yourself up for being able to chill much much sooner. Even if early retirement is not the goal.
You can you can see that a lot sooner. Are there any other Oh yeah.
Oh no, I was just going to add on, like, you know, listen, the best day to start investing was yesterday and the second best day is today. But I don't want people to feel like they have all this time and they can wait till Tomorrow's tomorrow tomorrow, because let's just look at the math. You can actually look this study up on Google if you aren't currently driving
or whatever. If you invest a certain amount in your twenties, they compared this with investing double in your thirties if you hadn't started in your twenties, and the people who had invested less money overall but started earlier ended up retiring with more money. And I think that just really speaks to you. It's not about the money, it's about the time.
Yeah, And we say the best way to save money on retirement is starting early. You save so much money if you just start earlier than you think you need to. It's the best way to save money and the only reason to focus on frugality as like a useful many sort of system in the eighty twenty rule is because it allows you to save more to invest. We don't save for the sake of hoarding or buying more, exactly, we save more so that we have more of our income that were wisely choosing to labor over we have
more to invest exactly. So looking back, was there a particular person or mentor who played a key role in your success or like imparting these like rich people secrets into your life? And how how can other people like find people like that?
Yeah, without a doubt, I would be completely lost without this person. When I started my job on Wall Street and I showed up day one, it was like thirty forty old white guys, like no surprise, And the only other person who wasn't a man and wasn't white was another Asian woman. She was, you know, quite senior in
her career. She was still very young. But for the first time I saw someone who looked like me and was basically a confirmation that someone who looked like me and came from a background like I did deserved to be in that room. And she, I mean I wanted to be her so badly. And she was the one who asked me, are you contributing to your four O one K? And I was like, my what, didn't know what that was. She would be the person who was like, oh, are you using like the company catalog to save on hotels?
I was like the what, didn't know what that was? She would even buy me lunch every single day because I just did not have the money. And she truly was the big sister I'd never had, and I felt I feel so so grateful to her. I mean I even dedicated my book to her. She changed my life because for the first time, she showed me that people
like me deserve to be wealthy. And at first it was super shallow, right she would walk into work with a new Chanel bag every day, click clack in on the marble floors with her Gucci stilettos, and that to me, I was like, that's pinnacle wealth, that's peak, Like I need to have these things. But over time it became she gets to go on vacation and not worry about the price. She gets to send her mom money and not worry about the amount because she's just happy to
pay for that surgery. It's not a problem. She takes care of people, and over time, the things that I saw her doing that made me want to be like her changed, but she was always the blueprint for me.
That's cool to hear those different layers that yeah, she had the nice shoes and handbag, but that it also went deeper for her and that you were able to see those beautiful aspects inside of her as you endeavored to get to know her more. And yeah, kind of become the best version of yourself. It sounds like she
was kind of there when you began your job. Are there any tips that you would have for people who who are looking for that person that looks like them, feels like a representation of them helps them feel as though they have a seat at the table. Where are people finding these types of voices?
Yeah, finding a mentor is more of an art than a science. There's no perfect way to find a mentor. But I highly recommend looking at your education. So if you are currently in college, is that professor going to be that your mentor? Is that person from career resource is going to be your mentor? Is it maybe just an adjunct that you really really, you know admire my mentor in college? Was the professor who was my thesis advisor.
I was just calling this dude on his cell phone all the time, being like, hey, professor Harris, like do you have a second, Like can we go grab coffee? And there will be mentors throughout your life whatever you do. When it comes to actually the workforce. One of the easy things you can do is join affinity groups. So in certain places, this looks like an AAPI group or a women's group, or a BIPOD group or an LGBTQ group.
That's a really easy way to find a mentor that you identify with pretty much from jump right, because all of the people who belonged to that organization probably identify that way or identify as an ally. I was given another mentor at work through the women's group, and she was great. Anytime I had a complaint, anytime I needed to vent, I.
Would call her.
I was like, can I get a coffee?
As you can see I was drinking a lot of coffee at the time. And you know, this is also something that you can get from local community resources groups. If you are religious, anything from your temple, your church, you know, your mosque, your synagogue, whatever, go there find someone that you really really, you know, admire someone who
is where you want to be. And frankly, these days, with the rise of the internet, you can literally just slide into people's LinkedIn dms, make a compelling enough case, ask them, you know, ask to buy them a coffee. And oftentimes I would say that most people who are in positions of power or positions of prestige, they didn't get there on their own. They had a helping hand, they had someone giving them a leg up, they had someone mentoring them. So when people receive those messages, more
often than not, they're pretty receptive. It's quite warm. My fiance will complain about it. He'll be like, oh, my gosh, this is the third person for my company who's asked me for a coffee chat this week. And I was like, oh, are you going to go? And he was like, well, of course I'm going to go. And I'm like, okay, So then don't complain about it. But I think it's just really rewarding to see someone that needs your help get it and then feel like you contributed to their success.
So I would say people are really willing to give back. Use your digital sources, your local community sources, and any sort of affinity groups you might be in.
Yeah, I so like two things about that. I know, Like it all sounds good and it makes sense right, like become wealthy so that you can pay for your parents like needs and just reach out to somebody like
to be a mentor. But like inside, I know a lot of people myself included, like have had barriers to that, Like we think as frugal people because we don't quote unquote need the gucci, the bag and shoes, that we shouldn't become wealthy, or that we are a burden if we reach out to people, or that we're mooching, or that we are taking advantage of the system if we reach out and use networks. And it's been like it started to like transform in my mind like ages ago.
But when it really clicked was when we interviewed Mandy Woodriff Sandos from Brown Ambition where we were talking about how do you get these jobs that like pay really well, and it's people do not go through the front door. People always go through the side door. Always. It's always through the side door. And I have found, like the longer that I've been in business, the most success that we have had with everything we've done has always been going through the side door. It's always who you know.
And that's not a negative thing. It's it's work. It's work in a different way, right, Like, so you can work and just like pedal the bike going through the front door, or you can work to make connections to get through the side door. Both are work, but which which one are you going to see the most benefit from?
Yep?
And so like I love, like, yes, everything makes so much sense, but it is still so hard for that to be, like when you're in this like middle lower middle class income bracket to think that way.
You know, I think the thing that you said that really really spoke to me and was like, so I just think it's like so messed up for people to think is like I don't deserve this money. And that's crazy to me because I want everyone listening to just like not if you're driving, but like close your eyes for a second and think about why you want that money. It's not because you want to buy a golden toilet or a birkin bag or go drive a lime green bugotti. You want that money to help your dad with his
cataract surgery. You want that money to help make sure that your kid doesn't have a mountain of student debt after they exit college. You want that money so that you can remodel your home so that it's wheelchair accessible for your mom who may have just had a medical concern. You want that money so that you can build a home that your family can live comfortably and safely in and feel love and safe. When we think of wealth and money, largely we think of what has been to
pickted on our TV screens, on movie screens. This is the Jordan Belfort throwing cash off of a yacht. That's not what actual wealth is. Actual wealth is just optionality. It's freedom of choice. It is being able to take an uber at ten thirty at night instead of having to take the subway as a young woman.
That is not.
You know something that's like such a luxury to me. That's a safety concern, and because I have money, I am able to make that choice. It is the difference between you know, me feeling like I'm going to be absolutely crushed with work because I have to do this and go grocery shopping, or just getting Instacart delivered. Convenience is something you are allowed to have in your life. You work so hard to be able to have these things. So it's crazy to me that people don't feel like
they deserve the money. When I ask, is if not you, then who? Because if you are a woman, if you're a person of color, if you're part of the LGBTQ community, if you're an immigrant, if you grew up low income, you know what happens when you get money.
Nothing bad.
We've all seen what happened to Mackenzie Bezos. Okay, she just gets She's just trying to light the stuff on fire, give it away to every charity under the sun. When these communities get this money, it doesn't stay hoarded. It's reinvested back into women owned businesses, black owned businesses, you know, LGBTQ owned businesses. It's then also reinvested, not just form through the form of physical cash or you know whatever, but like knowledge you then share with your book club,
you then share with you know, your running club. You share with all of these people who are around you and are you know, likely identify similarly to you, because naturally we make friends with people who have close proximity to us, both physically geographically, but also you know, in terms of socioeconomic status.
You're able to.
Help lift other people up. So if not you, then who.
Yes, yes, yes, as people who know how to spend money and how to spend wisely and know that the most important things cannot be bought with money. That's right, that we have a social responsibility.
To be wealthy, correct, Yeah, I'm hearing that redefinition of what it means to be wealthy and what we can do with our wealth. I think for me, one of the barriers has been that I didn't grow up with much money, and so I almost attached I definitely attached this. It's bad. Most of the people that I saw who had it were not the type of people that I wanted to be like or be around, and so I think it has also required of me a shift in viewing money is neutral and just because I didn't have
it doesn't mean that I have to villainize it. I am able to have it, learn how to manage and steward it well and be generous with it, you know, once it gets to that point too, which is exciting. And so if this is sounding you know, good to some of our listeners of okay, yeah, switching up the mindset that we can be the type of wealthy people that we want to be. I'm curious if you've got, as our final question and this this segment, if you've got any kind of tips your like rich af hacks
that you love your followers love. Curious which your kind of top top few are.
Yeah, I think one of the biggest topics that people love, love love is they say, and I don't agree with this, It's a little late for me, but I want to make sure you know, Junior is one thousand per set up to one thousand percent set up to be a rich person.
How do I do that?
And I always have you know, three tips that I'm like, this is wow, creme de la creme. If you do this, your kid will basically be starting on third base first and foremost. As soon as you adopt a kid, have a kid, whatever, pop them as an authorized user on your credit card. You make sure you pay your monthly
balance in full and on time. By the time your kid is eighteen and actually ready to go take out a loan, whether that be for a car that they need to drive to college or they need to get an apartment on campus, they are going to have a near perfect credit score and make It'll just make sure that they're not having to pay extra fees. They're going to get the best rates, they're going to get the best terms, and you're going to set your kid up for success. Two, if there is any way for your
child to have earned income. This includes babysitting money, lawnmowing money, snow plowing money, anything that allows them to have a paper trail of money coming in. Open up a custodial RAWTHI ray for them and take those earnings and put them into that account and then invest that. Essentially, what happens is that money is going to be able to grow through their lifetime and they are going to have an early start for their retirement and through that custodial
roth ira. When they are at retirement age and ready to start taking that money out, it is one hundred percent tax free, baby, and we all love a legal taxipole. And then, last, but definitely not least, know that education. You can't see me, but I just rolled my eyes.
Education is so unbelievably expensive for so many people these days, and unfortunately, like whether or not you go to a traditional four year college and get a bachelor's degree, you probably need some form of higher education to get a job.
So whether that be.
Trade school, culinary school, beauty school, you know, any sort of apprenticeship things like that. You're going to need to go to some sort of higher education, and if you want, you can do something called opening up a five two nine account right now now in your state. Unfortunately, no federal tax benefits, but there are tax benefits and in the majority of states. So you essentially start putting money into that account now and tag yourself as the beneficiary.
Then once you know you're putting money in, it's being invested. Once your kid's born or adopted, you then assign that account to them instead.
You just switch it over.
It's just a little paperwork, no problem. This allows you to save essentially on a tax advantaged basis for their education. You can take out ten thousand dollars a year to pay for private schooling up to like K through twelve, and then there's an unlimited withdrawal for higher education such as college, trade school, things that I talked about before, And it's just a great way to optimize your taxes but also be investing for Kido's future.
Yes, I all of those are great. And then for the states that don't have an advantage like Florida doesn't have any tax benefits for choosing a floor to prepaid. I my five point twenty nine is in Ohio because it has one of the better choices for index funds, So that is just another benefit. And yeah, we chose to just put a lump sum in when Kyle was
born and we don't even invest monthly in it. We just this is how much we would put in over ten years, and we just put that in and we're letting it, letting it ride.
So kiddo, I love hiddo.
He is so lucky. But yeah, like all of those And I would say, like also because we get it all the time too, Like it's too late for me, But how do I teach my kids about money? And like, the first way to teach your kid about money, the first way to set them up for success is to believe that it's not too late for you. They are only going to learn, like you can save all this money for them, right, But if you don't teach them how to spend money and how to earn money, then
they're not going to spend the money wisely. So it does start with you right now, Like is it too late for you to like become a multi millionaire. Maybe I don't know. It could be it's not too late to change your habits moving forward, and that is that is impacting children more than like just trying showing them a YouTube video about how like compound interest works, though
it is quite effective. But yeah, like changing habits and talking openly about money, I think that's another rich person's secret that that we don't get, is that they talk about money like they love talking about money, and they and they love being generous. So yeah, do you know what else is for you right now is not a secret by any.
Means super generous.
The bill of the week, that's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams.
Maybe you've paid off your mortgage.
Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Tough bills, Buffalo bills, bill claim. This is the bill of the week.
Yes, I know, we said, we yell at your direction.
I like that.
Every week we invite our listeners and or our guests to share with us their bill for the week, and we would love to hear yours.
Can I tell you I was racking my brain for my bill of the week, and because we're doing the section, I literally just remembered I have a bill from my ophthalmologists, not optometrist. So I went to my optometrist to like get my just like annual check up, to get my contacts prescription renewed so I could get my full year
of contacts. And she called me with a little bit of an alarming news and she was like, hey, like, no, biggie, but it appears that your you know, optic nerve is a little thicky thick, which like can be a concern if you have family history of glaucoma. And I'm like, oh, shoot, my aunt has glaucoma. So I went to the ophthalmologist. All of these words are impossible to say. They did this like random test where I was like looking at lights and you know, clicking buttons while I was looking
at them. They took a bunch of photos of my eyeball, and the opthalmologist basically came back and was like, nah, you're good. Like your your nerve is just like your nerve could be in like above a Sparks video. But it's fine, And now I have the bill for that that I need to pay. It's like roughly two hundred something dollars. I'm gonna go ask for an itemized bill so I can see what all the money's for, just to make sure there are no inaccuracies. But then I'm gonna go pay it.
Oh my gosh, Vivian, the same thing happened to me. I was, yes, okay, so I was getting I have been wanting lasick for ten years. And so when we got our book advance money, I was very responsible and I took it and I got Lasick, and I went, you had to do all these tests before so you could determine if you were eligible for it, And that's
what they said. They were like, your optic nerve is a little thick, but your pressure is fine, but you might want to just tape an eye on it if you have a family history of glock com And I was like, my grandmother had, so literally yes, in September, same exact thing happened to me. And they're just like, just even though you're gonna have twenty twenty vision, keep going to the optometrists to keep it in your eye
on it. It is like a scam, But okay, right, I was like, okay, I'll just I'll wear my blue light blocking glasses and hope for the best.
Can I tell you I got special contacts that block blue light because they sold me on them, because I was like, oh well I can't. I mean my thick nerve I must protect. So I went and spent extra money on these stupid like slightly yellow contacts.
Yes, I got on Amazon blue light blocking glasses after that, Lasic, Yep, it's all a scam amazing, everyone's got Bubba sparks.
I'm so glad that you both are okay for now. For now, if you all listening have been to an optometrist, ophthalmologist, guynecologist, you don't mind paying for these things because it's preventative. It gives you the knowledge you need. Or your name is Bill and you've not been to the gynecologists lately. Brugal Friends podcast dot com slash Bill leave us your bill. We so excited for it, and now it's time for you.
Know, I recently discovered that we do have sound effects on our recording platform, but we've just been doing our own sound effects so well for the last five and a half years, Like why would we mess it up?
Right.
Yeah, so we've just been honing our skills and I don't even want to hear what their pewpew sounds like pretty good at mine. All right, now it's time for the vulnerability round, where we're going to like get really up close, obnoxiously personal, and everyone's going to answer this, what did your gynecologists say? I'm just kidding. What is your personal definition of rich? Like ream wealthy? Like you've hit it?
What is it? Vivian?
You may go first.
I feel like my definition of rich is pretty simple, Like I feel like I have hit it. It's just having the money to be able to make decisions that serve me and leave any situations that don't. So if I have a toxic boss, I'm out of there. If I have a toxic partner, I'm out of there.
Not mine.
Mine's great, I'm engaged. But you know, just having the money to live my life exactly how I want to live it, without making compromises due to money.
That's awesome.
Yes, what about you, Jed?
Similar I think I want to be able to make choices that I want to make when I want to make them. I mean, I think we've spent enough time doing the hard work of really setting ourselves up for success, and which is why, like now, I would not say that we are rich by any means right now, not because we're scared of it, but just because, like our priorities in life are different than they were or will be.
I think having young children has forced me to really pause on the labor side of making money, which will inevitably slow down the money making money. But we did that hard work. We frontloaded it, like maxing out, for one case, iras taxable brokerages, well, not maxing those up, but like we did the hard work up front so that we could set ourselves up right now to be able to coast a little bit just for these years while we're paying for daycare, and then rampant back up in the future.
Yeah. I think for me it's it's enough. I think when you can identify what is enough and find a contentment in that, like that to me feels rich, and I think it does include You mentioned this a lot, Vivian. Just the ability to cover medical expenses. Oh me rolling my eyes over here on that one too. Just the cost of education, the cost of medical care. I think it's so disproportionate, it's disconcerting. It's disappointing.
Nobody chooses to get sick, nobody chooses to get a kidney stone. I just think it's kind of messed up that the number one reason for bankruptcy in the US is medical bankruptcy.
Yeah.
Sorry, did you pick to get cancer? Because I don't think anybody opts in for that one. Yeah, And I think that's really messed up because medical care should be a human right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, So we're not there yet, but I mean if I felt like, Okay, I don't have to worry about medical bills, that would feel really rich to me. Yeah.
Definitely, we've tempered our standards in our thirties. But I think that I hope what the main takeaway from from today is like, at least for our listeners, because you know, we're like a frugality podcast. I hope that frugality is not the end game, and we never say it is. Being frugal for frugal's sake is not something to be proud of. What we should be pursuing and most proud of is what we are able, the impact we're able to make with our money on our family, on our community,
and in order to have impact, a greater impact. You need a greater amount of wealth, and it's not only something you should not be ashamed of, but that you should feel a responsibility toward. Yea and I, Vivian am I'm so excited to read your book. If it's anything like the content you've been putting out like for the last four years, it's it's going to be just full of helpful tips and strategies to help people get to that place where they feel confident in calling themselves rich
and how to get there. So thank you so much for hanging out with us. Where can people get the book and get more from you?
Thank you so much for having me. Your book copies should be in the mail on the way already, question.
Mark, I hope so okay, I'll see.
But you can find my book at rich af dot me. Yes, I made the website a manifestation because I think we could all use a little bit of a pep talk in our lives. So Richief dot me for the book, and then you can find me across social media as your rich BFF.
Amazing. Thanks again, Vivian, of course, thank you guys so much for having me. That was fun. I really love her perspective on how we can reframe our view of wealth and the reasons behind why it doesn't have to be this thing that we repel. Instead, we can embrace it in a way that makes sense to us, to be used in a way that is valuable to us.
I think it's kind of that next step or adjacent step to the values based spending that we talk about, that you're spending doesn't have to look like everybody else, and neither does your wealth building or the things that you choose to do with any levels of acquired wealth. I think it's really beautiful and I think resonated with me of Yeah, that's the reason I want money is to be able to care for myself and those around me. I think that's that's the most benefit that the tool
and resource of money can be. And I think she highlighted that well, and.
I love that you pointed out that finding you're enough was really important to an aspect of becoming rich or becoming wealthy. When you find you're enough, it's not that you found your enough of accumulation of money. It's that you found you're enough for spending and that you can continue to earn and build wealth beyond that and that the rest of it is stuff that you get to
do good things with. I think sometimes we're afraid of this like hedonic treadmill, where we just can keep working towards the next thing and the next thing, and we think that's going to make us happy, and we as frugal people, want to reject that. We're like, we're not running the treadmill. We just want to be content with what we have and save money so that we can
afford things. Kind of where we're at. But I hope that this maybe inspired some people to go above and beyond that, to know that just because you are earning more doesn't mean that you are climbing some corporate ladder or you're becoming unrelatable because you have earned more money. That that really comes from within. When you define your enough, you know what you value, and you're spending money on it,
then yeah, sure your lifestyle can inflate a little. You've earned that you are worthy of that, But there's also so many other good things that you can do for your immediate family, your extended family, your friends. Like I love going to FINNCN the Financial Media Conference, because there are people who have been going there a long time who've made a lot of money on the internet and it's literally just their week to like kind of give back to the community that helped them, that made them.
And uh, I always get so many free drinks and dinners from people because of that free dinners good dinner, right, And you can be that person. It doesn't have to mean like all of your money is going to charity. You can be that person giving back to the industry or the organization or the people who have been with you like Drake. Like you can be like Drake given back to your people, So be like Drake.
Thanks for listening everyone. One of the things that we really love is reading your reviews when they're really kind, and we especially liked this one from pay Pals that is titled fun Podcasts for Frugal Folks. Thank you Jen and Jill for taking the guests work out of frugal living. This podcast is both fun and jam packed full of helpful tips to get you started and keep you motivated
on your frugal journey. Living paycheck to paycheck and saying no to friends is no fun, but these hosts remind me that there is fun to be had wall living frugally.
Thanks Kate, Yes, thank you k Pals. Yeah, living paycheck to paycheck is no fun. But you don't have to deprive yourself. You just have to choose your sacrifices. And I think when you start. I got the question the other day, like, how do you keep your focus on these mid term and long term goals when the shirt short term satisfaction, the instant gratification is always right there, And I said, it's it's hard. That's a hard question, right. You have to have this intrinsic motivation that the value
like what you want more than instant gratification. What brings you joy from saving and saying no to things you don't value is the ability to take care of your friends and family, the ability to invest in the places that you love. Like when that brings you more joy than accumulating stuff or eating out all the time, that's
that's when you do it. So it does. It takes work in figuring out what those things are, but like that's how you it's not when it becomes not just like having your eye on a mid or long term goal, but it actually brings you joy to say no to something because you know you can say yes to something else that's that's when it slaps.
That's when it collaps, flat claps and sleighs.
Yeah. Oh, so, thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this show, please take a minute to leave a rating and review. It helps potential new listeners know what our show is all about. And if you already have done that, please subscribe to the friend letter and join us for no Spend January, it is not a no spend month
for no spending money's sake. It's a strategy that helps you learn a lot about your spending in a short amount of time so that you can make in that you can make significant changes fast.
Forrualfriendspodcast dot com. See you next time. Hi E.
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Jen. I have guests coming always. I can just have a button and say guests are coming. And this particular round of washing bedding since the last guest included washing the top quilt, the comforter, I guess I hadn't done it before, or maybe I did it differently the last.
Wait, all of your guests, you haven't washed well?
The comforter was a relatively new like since we've finished the bedroom, so we've probably.
That top that's where everyone wipes their nose in the middle of the night.
No, hopefully they do that on their sheet. Nope, not you. Oh man, I've probably had five guests. Now. I don't wash the top quilt every time.
Do you?
Yeah, I mean we haven't Airbnb, but you'll wash the top quilt every time.
Yes. Wow, Well that's where people wipe their nose.
No. I fold the top sheet down over the quilt so they know this is this is where you wipe your nose.
So if it's personally for me, no, my room, I don't wash it every single time when it's other people, when it's our Airbnb, yes, because that's where people wipe their nose.
No, I don't. I don't wash the top blankets every time.
Sot I guest listen to the show.
That's so far, because yeah, I would consider myself like very clean, and that feels like I would not consider myself clean. Only needs to happen like occasionally. Anyhow, it felt like, all right, now's the time I'm gonna wash it. Behold hark. Unfortunately I put it into the dryer and it like shrunk and stuck together and pulled up, pooled together.
Yeah, I don't know, like the stuffing inside, Yeah.
The stuffing inside in only some parts like congealed together and then it kind of then like shrunk parts of the whole blanket. I'm very bummed about this. I know you need an actual comforter. Yeah, this was a quilts and you know what, that's what I'm going to have to get now, something that can be washed regularly. I mean, this was such a nice kind of lightweight but yet comfy fluffy. I loved it. It did fit in my
washing machine, but then got ruined in my dryer. I'm a little bit salty about this because it is not what I want to spend money on. I'm a little bit bummed that I washed it. But yeah, I mean, after talking to you, this is necessary. Yeah, And there isn't a world where it's like, all right, well then wash it and then lay it out to dry. That's a life I can't live. I can't have to factor in air drying time with this. You'll die but up my whole house.
Mm hmm.
So just be I gotta buy something that's gonna last me longer, that can withstand washes. But I'm bumped. This is one of those like spending things that I don't want to spend on, and I kind of sorry, thank you.
People also sit down on the comforter naked.
No, jen, no, no, what you do? This is not people live.
And then maybe it's me because I'm not the cleanest. You do that she you pull you do when you make the bed is made and you just you pull it back.
I'm telling you, I'm telling you.
Everybody else just sits down. Everybody else robes.
So if they need to sit naked, they should robes, and then if not, then it should happen on the sheet. This is gross.
And here you know what you need to did you have you taught your guests how to be guests at your house?
I just kind of assumed that there was a code of conduct that everyone understood. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, I'm gonna get something that I can wash regularly, and that's what's going to happen. But here's a PSA for everybody. I don't think that hotels will wash their their top comforter regularly, although there are a lot of hotels who are more doing like the duvet covers. Now, have you ever watched Hotel Impossible? Maybe it's a little bit more
like your budget hotels. That's it's one of the reasons not to sit, especially at a hotel or an airbnb. They might be like me, thinking, you don't have to wash that top that top bedding, so I'm just accustomed to you just you pull it back, you use the sheets. The sheets have been washed.