Regaining Motivation When You Don't Feel Like Caring About Money

and sometimes you just don't feel motivated. A lot of the times you don't feel motivated, and that's normal, that's absolutely normal. Let's not work against our psychology, let's work with it and figure out how do we get motivated? How do we just keep going? And that's really what today's episodes about. How do we just keep going? How just go? Just keep going? So we're going to talk about that, but first a word from our sponsor, caring Less.

Caring Less actually found the motivation to sponsor us when we feel like we should care more. It's actually important to remember that there's always room to care less. Gen reminded me of this recently, and you know what, remembering both ends of that spectrum can show us we've truly struck the balance. Caring less the only alternative to not

being able to care anymore. But if you do find yourself caring more specifically about money goals, debt payoffs, and just caring a little bit more about gaining some motivation, you should check out our new Debt Free Stories video series on YouTube. Us into any of us talk about these debt free stories. We can't announce it without singing it because we're so excited. We've got all the goody goodness.

You need to care less about all the other distractions on social media so that you can care more about getting motivation from other people, getting excited about other people's debt payoff stories. Hearing some fellow Frugal Friends listeners, and it's all over on Frugal Friends podcast YouTube channel. Look it up on YouTube, hit the subscribe button. Go ahead and hit that notification button so you can know in the next video drops. Because every there, there's no two

videos alike. It's like snowflakes up in here. Every video is different, every story is different because all of you are different, and all of it, though, contains so much fun and inspiration and motivation. If you are kind of in that slump right now, It's okay to be in that slump. We're here for you Frugal Friends podcast, step free stories, so you can have that little spark of external motivation when you are just not feeling it. These are there for you and some really good practical tips.

So search Frugal Friends on YouTube, subscribe, turn on notifications. We gotta coming at you all February into March. We've had them all January. So binge the backlog and come back for more. Yes, that backlog, okay, So I mean one of the greatest ways to regain motivation is to binge the backlog of Frugal Friends podcast episodes and debt

free stories. So that's number one. So that's the first tip, and if you need some episodes to do that with episode one dred how to maintain a hundred percent effort on your financial journey. Spoiler, there is no it's just keep going. An episode fifty five what to do when you feel like giving up feelings that we have all had, whatever your financial goal is. So episode episode hundred. Now we're at episode two eight two and we are going

to talk specifically about motivation. And in this first article it is titled Unmotivated five reasons why you're feeling this way. So let's start by digging into maybe why you feel unmotivated. Jill, using your expertise on people, what did you think about this article? What did you think about the articles like the small cat on the side with the crown? From a professional standpoint, I think cats are really great motivators to care less. They really epitomize that. And that's, you know,

coming from my professional expert opinion. It's really it's a great info graphics. So motivation it is such a tricky one. I think that they did a really good job of helping us figure out how we're made, what's going to make us tick, how we are going to be able to move through some of the goals that we've set in beneficial ways to have the behaviors and focus that we want to have. But motivation, it is, it can be quite elusive. We could chase after it, we could

find it for a moment, we lose it. We have to rEFInd it like that. It just is a reality to life, and I think sometimes it is indicative of maybe is that not a good goal, or maybe as motivation not necessarily the end thing that I want to point out is it just how do I just keep going even in the midst of my emotions telling me that I want to stop or my body telling me I want to stop? And sometimes we need to pay

attention to that. So there's so much that can be said, but I do think that this article gave a decent overview. I especially appreciate some of the things that they mentioned at the beginning before they even get into some of the reasons we might feel this way. What might lead to kind of this unmotivated state of mind can be stress, oversleeping or lacking sleep, potentially having unclear goals and priorities.

We might just feel like we're not on a great path or accomplishing things or feeling purposeful or successful because we have not really clearly defined what it is that we're aiming at. Certainly, when we kind of are just sitting around or scrolling or engaged in a lot of really distracting, mindless activities, that's not going to always be the most motivating thing. It will kind of keep us

in that cycle. Nutrition, how much, removing our bodies, whether or not we're exercise, I sing, all of these things can play into it. So I think one of the key takeaways in this is that there are many and multiple layers to this. It's not just going to be a linear path of I'm feeling unmotivated, so plug in this answer and done. It's this kind of ever evolving.

Things are constantly moving and changing in our environments inside of us, and I think keeping a pulse on all of that is going to help us to identify why am I feeling unmotivated? What might this be connected to? And then hit it at that thing. Is it related to stress? Okay? Then how can I respond? Is it

related to sleep? Okay? How can I respond? And again, that's going to come back to what we talk about very often of curiosity with self being aware of what's happening inside of us and our environment and circumstances to be able to respond well, not just out of guilt and shame of shouldn't be feeling this way? Yeah, I feel like they kind of put these solutions before the problems. So we are gonna talk about the five problems or

reasons you might be unmotivated. But these are really like the ones that Jill kind of listed out, are not so much the problem, but you can look at them as like the solutions. So if you're not feeling motivated, then identifying maybe stressors that you can eliminate, or getting an extra hour of sleep, putting doing like a social media fast changing up some of the way you're doing your diet or your exercise, Uh, doing a task that you've been putting off that you really don't want to

do doing it immediately. So getting over some of some of these things can really the solution to motivation. Because as you'll find over and over throughout this episode spoiler alert, is that the solution to motivation is just action, some type of action, not even significant action, just some kind of action, not even maybe in the direction like in

the specific direction, but maybe in a peripheral direction. Because when we do any kind of action, when we just like get up off the couch, that can be kind of the instant like like my fingers, Yeah, something that we need to trigger a different like movement, like because the ball at rest stays at rest, a ball in motion stays in motion. It's not a ball, it's an object. But you get what I'm saying. So just being in

motion or not being in motion, but like starting motion. Yeah, and this applies to anything I know we're specifically talking financial goals, and that's relevant and import and but I think we can lack motivation in all areas of our person. But usually when we're lacking in one, we're lacking in a few. And so it might even be to what you're saying, Jen, experiencing activity or motion in a separate area of life can then also have a positive ripple

effect on our finances. So also recognize that making a move in anyone area of life could help us in the other areas of life as we start to feel the momentum of that. And this article, I will just say it's the title says five reasons. I could only determine four, so we'll go through all four. And if there's a hidden fifth, let us know. Maybe that list of things was the first one. Okay, let's go with that, So let's number two. The second one is having a

negative outlook. I love it when these articles like say a number and then when you get in there the number is wrong. That happens more often than anything online writing. Oh, it's absolutely just for the title is for s c O. The article is you you never know what you're going to get, and that is literally why we do what we do because you never know what you're gonna get, and we get four. Uh So the second is having

a negative outlook can decrease your motivation. And we are self fulfilling prophecies, aren't we When we are dwelling on the one bad thing that happened and ignoring the nine good things that happened, we become self fulfilling prophecies of our own progress, of our own like capabilities. We do to ourselves what we what we say we're going to do to ourselves. And so that's really like I see that in my life with like people around me, but I also see it in my life like it's able.

It allows me to identify in myself when I am my own negative, self fulfilling prophecy, and that really makes me not motivated to be better if I just think I'm going to fail, if I think things are against me, why do better? You know? Why try? I think set a different way. This is also related to having an

unhelpful mindset. I know, we talk about mindset a ton and how thoughts lead to emotions lead to behaviors, and so when ultimately all that's to say is it starts in our brain It starts in our thought patterns, and that has such a profound and powerful impact on the way that our lives then go, at least for what's within our control. There's plenty that is outside of our control.

But for what we have influence over, it starts with our thoughts, and that's going to lead us down any number of trajectories based on what we're thinking and how we're perceiving what's happening. And that's not to say look

at everything with rose colored glasses. We can still be realistic, but it also means giving space for looking at the positive, for looking at something in a more optimistic way, or looking at the things that are going well or right, again, still based in reality, but not solely focusing in on the negative, non beneficial things that are continuing to add to a lack of motivation. Then the next one, whether it's number two or three on this list, is forgetting

about the long term benefits. And this can happen for all of us, and it's one of the things that I think it's important to recognize that always and forever keeping long term wise in focus isn't always possible for us. Like having retirement be motivation for me today in the

day in, day out drudgery of life. That's not always going to be the best motivator, but certainly thinking about some version of long term I would even say mid term, or even on the shorter term, like what is it that this small task might be leading me towards, even if it's just an end product in a week or

a month from now. We don't have to use the term long term in like a ten year time span kind of a thing, but thinking through what is the why behind this action, what can it be leading to can help us kind of regain some of that strength and energy to do the thing. I know. I have felt this way so many times, specifically in our renovation process.

We're about two and a half years in on renovating like literally all aspects of this house, and there are so many times when in the end of a work day and I'm supposed to get now started on doing the reno projects, and I literally, for like the actual use of the term, I don't have any motivation. And that might be exactly coinciding with how much energy and

literal physical strength that I have. But one of the things that can help me in those moments is if I do this now, I am one day closer to my kitchen being ready for me to host people in. I am one day closer to being able to have guests in my Airbnb. And that may not work all of the time, but sometimes keeping a little bit of that longer term focus in mind can help me realize, Okay, yes, I can paint another wall today, I can would fill some more trim. I can do this. We can do

hard things. I feel the same way like I have to in order to not get frustrated and super sad, I have to kind of look at the uh, you know, we're renovating like the rental side of our house right now, and so in order to not get set about that, I have to look at things that we're going to be putting on our side of the house, um that I'm going to get to benefit from, and knowing the closer I get to finishing this rental, the closer I

get to getting my oasis. So that is what I have to do, and remind myself to like keep going and prime that wall, paint that wall that's pretty much on capable. And as it relates to financial goals, I think this rings true in those circumstances, And they also high light celebrating small winds as you go, because we know just the ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road isn't always going to be enough for us. We need to be able to acknowledge and celebrate when we've experienced

some of those smaller achievements. And so whatever way that that looks for you, whether it's long term financial goals or you're doing a renovation project as well, how can we also build in some celebratory pieces, some ways to congratulate ourselves of we are getting things accomplished. It's not remaining stagnant for as long as we keep moving. Yeah, I often forget to do that. I always want to

get to the next thing and the next thing. But it is important to stop and recognize the completion of a season. So even if you don't feel like it is, it is worth it for just staying motivated in the future. It may not feel significant in the press, isn't But in the future, when you're lacking motivation, those past elements, those past celebrations, will affect how quickly you move on

in the future. So the next one is setting unrealistic goals And I love this quote, and I think it's from Steve Jobs, is that we vastly overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten years. And I feel like that is so, so, so so true. We set goals for ourselves that are quite lofty because we are told to, but are in reality unrealistic because they're not backed by systems and strategies. They're just goals. They're just dreams, wishes that your heart makes.

And then because we're not focusing on systems and strategies, we don't meet these lofty goals. And then and we don't obviously do in ten years what we could have. But for anybody who has paid off debt, and for everyone we featured in our debt free stories we talked, many of them thought it was going to take you know, five one year, five years to pay off their debt. Many of them saw their payoff in half that time, which is amazing because it was just a matter. Right.

It doesn't happen for everyone, but for the people we talked to, it did, and so and in our own experience too, we thought it was gonna take five years. It took too. So when you get started on something and you're focusing on systems and strategies and just focusing on small steps, you can accomplish more in ten years

than you've ever dreamed. But if you're just setting unrealistic goals, not backed by any plans or or mini goals, as the article says, then you're going to be suffering with a lot of motivation lost because it's just gonna be a lot of challenges, um, a lot of things that are going to feel hard to come back from. M hmm. Yeah. And the last thing on this list is not using your time wisely, and they say it's the one thing you can never get back. We often say it is

our only true limited resource. We can often find ways to get more money, gain more resources, but time we can't, Like we all have the same amount of time given to us, and they kind of worked it backwards and saying if we feel like we're always running out of time, we can that can lead to a lack of motivation, like, oh, I just I don't have enough time. I keep losing time and keep running out of time. And so one of the solutions to this is certainly to get very

clear on what our goals are. What is the thing that we are trying to find motivation for. Do we

feel like we can define that really clearly? If not, if we can't summarize that in a sentence or two, then we need to bring more definition around it and then break it down, like like you just said, Jen, finding some more measurement to it, being more specific in what each step along the way is going to be, and be really realistic about can I accomplish that in that stated amount of time given all of the other circumstances.

I think that's another thing that we can misjudge is yes, maybe it might only take two weeks to get one thing accomplished, but might it take longer if you also factor in the reality that you're a parent, and you're a homeowner, and you've got friends and family you need to see, and you've got these other projects, Like these are things we need to look at some of these goals within reality and then measure our time well within the midst of that and make it reasonable, make it attainable,

and then follow through with that plan, stay on track with how are you using your timing? Again, this has been a huge one for us with the renovation. Is there really truly wasn't a ton of time because we both have jobs that we're doing and we're still traveling and hosting people, and so one of the things that

truly did help me. I don't know that I could have worded it this way until I read this article, but we got really realistic with timing, like, sure, we may only actually need three weeks fully focused on the kitchen to finish the kitchen, but when we look at the reality of our season and circumstances, it's probably actually going to take us two months. And that has lifted a huge weight off of us of pressure and to realize it's okay to just give two hours a night

to this. I don't need to feel like I need to get everything accomplished in one night to feel productive. And that has actually led to motivation rather than taken

away from it, which has been helpful. Yeah, and that's where this prioritization comes in, because we always talk about prioritizing, and when you prioritize one goal, that goal gets done quickly, right, And so some people, for some people it might be their renovation is that I want to go really hard for three weeks, bust this out, and then not worry about it moving forward. But if that's not your priority,

you can choose something else. Is that I want to take this season, you know, especially back in the holiday season. I want to take this season to rest two deep in relationships to HUGA, and I will put the renovation on the back burner and instead of taking three weeks and missing out on this season, I will stretch it out over two months. Neither one is better, and we

do the same thing with our finances. As long as you are intentional about your choice and the c I mean, the choice you make does not have to be the choice you carry with you long term. It can be a three week choice or a two month choice, but it has to be an intentional choice. Yeah. Yeah, well said, I really want to get to this next article because I did enjoy it. It comes from CNBC and is titled how the pandemic Killed your motivation In six ways

to get it back according to Science. Woof, that's a pack title. Yeah, because okay, so this is where we get down to strategy systems movement. This is the real key to regaining motivation because you're gonna lose it, that's just what happens. So these are the steps to take not all at the same time. This is a list

of options two get your motivation back. And it's not just like it not they say the pandemic, because that's like a this was written in January, and that was, you know, a sexy thing to put in an article title This is anything. It is anything motivation. But what I really do like about the intro portion of the article, I felt as though this really hit the nail on the head that I want to highlight is motivation tends to drop when you feel a deficit in three key

areas of life. Your our, your autonomy, competence and relationships. Again, I don't know that I could have summarized it in that way, But when you think about that and realize what is my lack of motivation connected to I think usually, at least for me, it is one of these three things.

If I feel like my autonomy, my ability to control certain aspects of my life there influence some things, that's gonna really inhibit some motivation to do things right, Like, think about someone just told you to do something and there's no options about it. How motivated are you going to feel? It? Usually not that motivated. Your competence for something This one is so accurate for me. If I don't feel as though I've got the skill set or tools or resources to do a job, I'm going to

feel very unmotivated to do that thing. I feel far more motivated to do the things that I feel competent in, I feel expert at. So it's definitely a stretching thing to do something that we don't feel very good at. And then relationship, that's that's why you listen to for girlfriends, but us and relationships. When our relationships are strained or interrupted, or we're feeling like we don't have great connection, that's also going to bear strong weight on our levels of motivation.

I do appreciate that they highlighted all of these things were intersected and in some ways hijacked through the pandemic, and in some ways are still there's still a lingering ripple effect. So I don't want to say, oh, it's all over and this is just any time. While in some ways, yes, this is just related to motivation in general, but there could be ways in which this is lingering from what we've experienced over the last two and a half years, and the ways in which this is interrupted.

The ripple effects of that and other life circumstances that might intersect with your autonomy, competence, and relationships. So if you are even wanting to start at the core of idea entifying why is this happening? Why can I not just seem to pick up steam here? This could be a really good template and blueprint for again being curious with yourself of am I feeling a lack of autonomy?

Is it competence? Is it relationships? That's going to help us in identifying ways to respond, Well, if we can know what the root cause of it is really appreciated that portion, yes, yes, yes, But let's get into the six tips. The first one I loved create daily rituals. So a two eighteen study out of Harvard found that rituals and predefined any predefined sequence of actions characterized by rigidity and repetition increase people's self control and feelings of

self discipline. So some people have really elaborate rituals, but the article says, these don't have to be elaborate. It could just be very small. Just as long as you're doing it every day, that's the important thing. So, for example, putting your workout clothes beside your bed, so that you can exercise first thing in the morning. That's considered a ritual, taking time to meditate or relax once you get your kids set up for the school day, who has time

for that? If you do, it's a ritual walking your dog after work, So overtime rituals become automatized behavior. Rituals rituals automatized behavior. They become habits. Okay, rituals become habits. And when a habit becomes automatic, it frees up your mental energy to be able to focus on other things. So I love creating like just these different rituals throughout the day, and I kind of refer to them as

habits stacking. I don't know if it's the same thing, but when you're trying to create a habit it, you stack it onto another habit um and eventually you have like a row of habits that can be considered a ritual. So maybe try that. That is really really good in my opinion, to create motivation. But just start with one. Don't don't start with a string of habits. Start with one. Really simple example of that is looking at your transactions

for the day while you brush your teeth. That would kind of be like that habit stacking, creating that ritual if that's something you're trying to get better at or keep a pulse on. Again, it's going to be individualized for you. But pairing these different things together that might pair well and help you towards your goal keep you motivated. Related to this idea is number two setting up routine queues. So the article mentions how we are hardwired to forge

these as siations between ourselves and the environment. There can be things within our environment that trigger certain thoughts, emotions, behaviors, sometimes subconsciously. One of the things that they reference in here is that it could have become confusing for people who are used to going into the office and and now are at home and have been maybe working from home a lot, where the couch or the TV is typically a queue or a trigger of it's the weekend.

And yet if you're working from home and you're running into your passing by the couch or the TV regularly, it can kind of shift that in your mindset of but I don't want to be in a frame of work for work like I'm home and these are the things, these are my comfort items. And so this is also connected to I know we've talked about James clear with the habits and the cue, the craving, the reward, and how when we run into these triggers or these cues,

what they can produce inside of us. And so we can use that to our advantage to set up cues within our environment that's going to keep us on track for the thing that we want to accomplish, the task at hand, the goal for the future. And so that might mean like putting our exercise clothing out the night before. Then when we wake up and we see it, that is an automatic kind of visual cueue of this is

what's next on the docket. I don't have to necessarily bend over backwards to find the motivation to do the thing that I want. I'm creating these cues in our in my environment. This also is related to the physical space that we set up um maybe doing tasks or assignments in a space that's going to help us to stay focused on that task at hand and maybe even eliminate the cues or the triggers that are going to be those distractions. We can use this to our advantage

when it comes to our finances as well. And we've talked a ton about ways to intersect some of our habits or patterns when it comes to impulse purchasing, setting up cues or barriers to not buy the things that we've not put a lot of thought or intention behind. So consider what your cues are, what are the things that might lead you down something that is beneficial or non beneficial, and figure out ways to intersect that with various cues. Usually it's going to be something related to

our five senses. Something we see, something we hear, something we smell. Of course, it can be taste in touch as well, but primarily we're going to want to think about what we see, what we hear, what we smell, how does that maybe que us to something. Yes, definitely, cues are super super important when you when you find your cues, then you can start breaking bad habits. Next is to reward yourself right away. And so this can kind of be a little counterintuitive and not something that

you should be doing long term. But we are instant gratification motivated like that. We're trying to get away from that as a as a pattern, as like a all the time, but you can't deny that is the way we are wired. So This kind of gets into the intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. I know we've talked about it in one of our other motivation episodes, so one of the other ones we talked about at the at the top of the episode. Internal motivators are things you do

out of the joy of doing them. So I drink coffee in the morning out of the joy that it does nothing. I don't have to be motivated to do that. That is something I'll gladly do. Extrinsic motivators are external motivators, and that's what gives us the instant gratification that we need in order to develop internal motivators. You don't just like wake up in the morning with internal motivators automatically, Like when I was five, I didn't wake up and

want coffee. So that's kind of like this is the start. You start really slowly with giving yourself a lot of instant gratification rewards for a short amount of time, and then you work up to being able to develop those internal motivators, which are study show much more effective than external motivators and much more long lasting. So you can't rely on external motivators long term. You have to want it. Yes, when you're starting, you've got to have them. So don't

think the you are weak for needing more. External motivators are more immediate gratification, more upfront. It's why we um, that's why we you know, the debt snowball method is so popular. It's because you've got those instant motivators very quickly if you've got a number of smaller debts. And so this is the same concept. So they say, when you run on the treadmill, you could reward yourself with a favorite Netflix show, or you could have a treat like a cup of coffee or a piece of chocolate.

You know. So these are not like take yourself out to dinner every time you make a good financial choice. These are small things. So think of things that you can use to reward yourself quite frequently up front, and that will help you kind of regain this routine of motivation and action they didn't have. Similarly, the next thing on this list is to make room for moments of

positive ativity. And this isn't exactly saying external motivators. It's more so recognizing that cultivating some of those more welcomed viewed as positive emotions every day can have an impact on motivation and productivity. So this is something that we would want to incorporate and engage in daily. Even once we've turned external motivation into internal motivation, it is good

to cultivate these types of emotions as well. And so they mentioned ideas like watching a funny video or shooting a text off to a friend, anything that is going to kind of bear weight on some of the more positive emotions that we can experience that can enhance our performance at work. It can give that nice break that we want. It can help us feel connected with others

and involved in the community. It's just good to make room for some of these breaks in the midst of what we're doing, and especially for feeling a lack of motivation. It's okay to create space for some of this. And when we're talking about financial goals in the financial journey, this is absolutely included in that. To give room for fun and laughter, it can be free. It doesn't have

to knock us off of our ultimate goals. But giving space to to play, to enjoy life, to do the life, giving things, to connect with others, just room for moments of positivity. And the last thing I will say is don't be too hard on yourself. I like this one. Uh So, this is where they actually start to talk

about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. And the article says, your motivation can ebb and flow, and it will ebb and flow and a lot of so the same like intrinsic and extrinsic positive motivators, we can have intrinsic and extrinsic negative motivators. So internally, if there is a trauma that we are trying to avoid reliving, or a consequence we are trying to avoid, then we are motivated to do

something to avoid that. It can even be like if you're doing a diet bet and you've put you know, fifty bucks in and you're trying to avoid the shame of losing that fifty bucks, then you're motivated to do They work off of that type of emotion. And then there's also extrinsic negative motivators, which could be like external punishment, which you know hopefully don't see as an adult, but are there So this the there are both types and it's very it's a very weird phenomena that we are

often very attractive to negative types of motivation. They seem to be more They are effective more quickly than positive motivators. And I don't know if it's like a loss of version thing or we are our own worst enemies. I don't know, but psychologically it is we're very drawn to these negative motivators. They work more efficiently. So knowing that there's always it's like salt in your strategy. Yes, there are some negative consequences to not sticking with your goal,

and you should remember those. You should be fully aware of the negative consequences and the negative internal and external motivators that are in play. But like that's salt, and too much salt really does ruin the dish. So don't be too hard on your self. Let's focus on these positive motivations, these positive actions, the things we can do,

and not be too hard of our on ourselves. When life happens, when seasons change, when you're just like having a day, you know, So that's I think really important. The last one on this list is to know your triggers. This is also called another way being prepared, knowing ourselves, being prepared knowing how we're going to respond, not thinking as though that's never gonna happen, or I'm going to

avoid it. That's not possible. Things will happen, our plans will get interrupted, we will experience a lack of motivation, and what are the circumstances that primarily lend themselves to that? And how do I want to respond again? We can look at this from a variety of ways of what we might be facing in our lives as it relates to our financial goals. What are the things that cause

the most derailment? Is it seeing other people spend money and feel feeling like everyone else gets to have all the good stuff and all the fun and everyone else makes so much more than me and whatever? It is? Like, what what is it that's going to cause you to think, Okay, well then I might just go buy this, or I'm going to go spend impulsively, or why even have this goal anymore? I'm going to just throw it off to the side, or is it an unforeseen bill? Whenever you

get a charge that you weren't expecting. These things are going to happen, and it's okay for it to even knock the wind out of our sales for a minute, for a minute, but then regaining that strength and energy to keep going for the goal. That you've set out, assuming it's a good goal, assuming it's a goal that's

actually worth achieving. Knowing what these things are ahead of time, and already having a script for how we're going to respond to that, whether that needs to be an internal kind of narrative script that we speak to ourselves, or if there's an actual plan of action that we're going to implement when this trigger happens. But we do need to take a good look at what are these things for me? They're going to be different for everybody, and how do I want to respond when they happen, not

if they happen. Yes, absolutely, And you know what I respond to. That is the action I take when I don't know what else to do, whether foreseen or unforeseen, I'm always willing to take action on this the bill of the week. That's right, It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton,

this is the bill of the week. Hey guys, my bill of the week is actually a parking pass that my husband and I purchased for the ferry. We we're going to catch the ferry and go over for the day, and there was an option of paying for parking, which would cost for the day eighteen dollars, which felt very monstrous to me, and I had a little argument with my husband about whether or not we should park down

the street and just walk. But we also have a baby while almost two year old, a car seed gifts were bringing over for family, and we end up buying

the parking pass, which I was initially heartbroken about. But on the way home, we missed the ferry and then we had to catch the ferry, which took two hours to arrive back to our home Vancouver Island, And after sleeping on the ferry and waking up disoriented, I was pretty happy in the end to have my car sitting right outside the door rather than a fifteen minute walked down the road. And that is my bill of the week. WHOA,

that's that's a horror story bill. Yeah, I And that is the bill I would gladly pay at this point in my life. I always look for the free parking. Don't get me wrong, I'm always the first to look for it. But sometimes it's just worth it to pay for parking when you're in a season of your life, when you are carrying a human that cannot carry itself

us get yeah. I mean it's a great hindsight, is Bill, And you made a great decision for yourself, or maybe your husband did pre pre what you knew was to come, and yeah it was. It ended up being a gift that you paid for that parking. I'm so sorry that you missed your ferry, but I do love the amount of listeners that we have in Canada. Shout out to all of our Canadian friends. Shout out to you. I am not going to embarrass myself by trying to do

any Canadian celebration phrases. Thank you. Just shout out to you. If you all listening. Also have a bill that you initially didn't want to pay for but then ended up being very happy you did. Or again, your name is Bill, or you own a duck or you are Bill Curtis. Visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash Bill. Leave us your bill. We do need bills. This is a strong

bill call calling all the bills of the week. We're at two episodes a week and the tank is low, if not empty, it's identified we need to we made a mistake and now it's time for oh my dear round shop you all right? So in this lightning round? What is your personal trick for when you're feeling unmotivated and go for a un Mine is literally just standing up. I and Lord knows, I have been very unmotivated. I am very pregnant, and I am not willing to do much.

But when I have something I need to do, which is always, I just say, Okay, I'm going to just stand up because I'm always sitting down. So I'm just going to stand up, and whatever happens next will be better than what I was just doing. It doesn't have to be the thing that I'm actually supposed to do. Sometimes it isn't. Like Travis asked me to um put water in his avocado plant thing, and I got up, and I think I had the intention of doing it, and I did it. I did something else, and but

just standing up was better than sitting down. So you got something else accomplished that you wanted to accomplish. I maybe, I guess I don't even remember what it was. I mean, I think that there is something too making making a movement to get back on track, doing the least with something. Yeah, just do the least. Yeah if yeah, For me, it's it is gum. If I were to think about how I got through college, undergrad graduate school, long days at work,

it's taken a gum break. I can see do you take a break to chew gum or do you say I'm just going to move And the act of putting the gum in my mouth and chewing it is the trigger. Like it's like the act of okay, there's something for my mouth to do. It's kind of a little bit of a distraction. It feels like some movement. I can tell that I've had a particularly like stressful day or was really lacking motivation based on how many sticks of gum I chewed that day. But when I'm doing something

that requires more focus, um um gets me through. M hm hm okay. But yeah, we can't those breaks. I think taking the breaks, whether for like a short term thing or a long term thing. I think when we're in debt payoff modes, having little pit stops along the way actually doing fun things on the budget night, or when we need to go through and look at all of our expenses like this. There's so many areas of life that all of this is relevant form and figuring out how to make it work in in our own way.

Jen needs to stand up now. I just I was supposed to just start talking, and instead of words coming out of my mouth, it was you need to stand to get through our thank yous. No, I just need to say what I was gonna say, which is thank you so much for listening to this episode, um, and thank you for eating reviews normally. I'm not this tired, and we love, love love reading your kind reviews, especially this one from Julynn. I think that's how your screen names are just so fun and I can't say them

and they say so encouraging in a real way. I really like the tips and the way this podcast makes frugality feel actually doable. The discussions are very applicable to every walk of life, and the realness is refreshing. I come to this podcast when I need a little push to keep going on the minimalist path, and then I don't feel alone in the journey, and we're here to

be your little motivational push. Isn't that's so true? Podcasts can be that too, or things like watching debt free stories on the Frugal Friends podcast YouTube channel, or chatting with a friend who might have other energy levels than you do, or reading a book like whatever it is, you can find little ways to spark that and we're so glad that this is that for you. Jul Ni, I don't thank you. Thank you for listening, and if you enjoyed the show, please take a minute to leave

a review and rating. It helps potential new listeners know what our show is all about, what they're getting into, so they don't waste their time if they don't need that little motivational push to keep going. See you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni Jill, I'm gonna muster all my energy to tell you this story and it's my are buying story. Hey, I need the time has come, all right? So I am a mini van mom? Now I am? We bought a minivan Mini van mom. Yes, moms.

We have been doing research for several weeks on what we wanted and we were confident going in the make, model and year range of what we wanted. I say we, I mean I I wanted um mileage features. I was very clear with like a parameter. You know. Um, I wasn't stuck on one thing. So I have identified two possible vans and I go in Thursday to test drive one. It is my second choice. I know this, and so I sit down with the guy and he gives me, um,

you know, a little just a light spiel. I'm alone, so I don't think he takes me seriously and yeah, yes, uh, And so then I leave and I pick up Kai. The next day, we go to test drive the one I really want. And for this one, Travis is able to get off work early. I say the day before, don't get off work early for this one. No need. I really want the other one. And so we go and he gets there before me, and because I have lost track of time, I have probably napping. And he

gets there, you know, gets a sales guy. The front of the store is littered with people in black outfits. Um, and they are the salespeople. And it is uh quite nerve wracking on asleep. But we already had a salesperson, right, yeah, we already had a salesperson, so I didn't have to worry about them. So we go, we test drive it. I love it. It is the one that I want, and we go in and I will say these cars, these two cars had different features, had different pros, different cons.

They were the same price advertised online, same to the five dollar one was five dollars more than the Yeah, okay, but they were comparable in their features where one, you know, one was newer, but it had more miles. One was older but it was very low mileage um. One didn't have leather, one didn't have a DVD pack. So there was just like they were comparable. They were not the same, but they were comparable. And we're sitting down with this

man and who's not a man. He's younger than I am, and he did not know who I will us and I am negotiating with him for an hour and a half and I am I am just like, I am realistic, but I am not shy, like I know why I'm here, I know why you're here. I know like that you have tacked on an extra fee, which means you're pricing

is not transparent. This is a superfluous fee. And then that really piste off the manager because he's like, it's not superfluous, it's ancillary, and I was like, no, no, dear, it's superfluous, and then the sales guy starts using that word because they just likes it, and I was like, it's a good word in fact um and so so

like I'm trying. They tacked on all these fees, which is what I hate about dealers, and to the point where the best deal I could get after an hour and a half off was still four thousand dollars more than the guy the day before, who was just like, here you go his this is the value of you trade in, this is the car, this is our one fee, this is you know, the dealer. You're gonna pay a dealer fee. There's no getting around the dealer fee. It's all of the and celary fees that you can get

around that not every dealership charges. So we were there and they had us like we were. We had a we had sunk an hour and a half into this negotiation, and so we had that um. We felt invested. We we felt like I felt like I was gonna waste I didn't want to waste this guy's time. And then we both had it was like in the same moment, Travis and I like looked at each other. He he his moment was first, but he looked at me and like it incited the moment in me, and it was

just like what are we doing? Are we going to throw? And it was this really, this one feature that I wanted in the car that put it over the top for me. And I was like, am I going to pay four thousand dollars for fancy cruise control when you won't even cross the bridge to go to Tampa? You like, you will have no reason to use cruise control because ten minutes away you are not lying. And so we we had already signed the deal like they were running my credit and and we said, sorry, we have to

go pick up our child. We're late, and we left. We left, and we went straight to the other guy. We we did have to pick up our child, like that was not a lie. And uh we went to him and we were like this, I mean, what's the catch. Because the warranty was better, the trade and value was better. There was total transparency in pricing um like the price advertised. The only fee added on top of that was the

dealer fee. And then you've got your taxes you can't get around, and then the tag you know, transfer that you can't get around. That was it total transparency, total chillness. I know that was it. And then they took like three more dollars off or something when they we were in there telling them how much we love the deal, and then they gave us like another three hundred off. The takeaway is you can walk away. You can walk

away any invested time and energy into something. You don't have to do it like pull the trigger, just based on feeling obligated. Yes, and you know what, you know how many lattez I can buy with four thousand dollars I can buy? Oh, this is bad, six hundred and sixties six to take you to buy that many lats? Right, And so that is six hundred sixty six decisions I don't have to make because I made the right decision one time. M m m m m m m. And

it was not easy, but because you wanted that cruise control. Yeah, they had me, they really had me. But they didn't because they let you go. They let you go pick up your child. Yeah, and you never came back. I had gotten them down. I had gotten them down thousands of dollars. How many times have I told you? Since then? They sent email a few emails. Yeah, but I told him straight up. I was like, because I had the other deal on the table, which is why you always

want to get multiple deals. I was like, this is what I've got over here, and and this is what you're working with, and you're it was a reconditioning fee that was like sellars. That was the biggest thing. And that and another fee because my car was over eighty thousand miles, they had a they took two thousand out of the trade and value. So instead of just giving me a number for the trade and value, they gave me a high number and then on the list of

fees took two thousand off. So there's that like no transparency in pricing. But the reconditioning fee is like we're really proud of our reconditioning, Like we make these cards really like beautiful to sell. And I was like, that's your job. That's a price you put into the car, Like that's the price of doing business. That's the markup. That's not like this added fee that you add on the back. And I don't pay for you to recondition

this car. You don't sell cars if you don't recondition them. Yeah, and that's a car, that's a price you bake into the price you put online. So it's just really was the deceptive practices that also just sent me running. I'm glad, I'm glad you've got a car. I'm glad you like it. I'm glad you didn't fall victim to spending an extra four thousand dollars. Can't wait to see it me Two