Raising Babies Frugally, Minimally, & Sustainably w/ Chelsea Brennan of Mamas Talk Money

many times removed are they? There are friends because they're listening and they're friends with mama Our friends who are friends with Mama's. I got you. If you're listening to this, I will consider you a friend. Yeah, if you're listening to this, you will. You will gain thing out of it, regardless of how many babies have been born from your womb. So true, so wise. So we've got Chelsea Brennan on.

She is the creator of Smart Money Mamas. So because only fifty of the Frugal Friends actually have a child and we've only had one for a year, we thought it would be good to bring an expert on and we did have a great conversation with her, so we're excited to share it. Yeah, I think you'll enjoy it, but first our sponsors. Today's episode is brought to you

by the Frugal Friends Workbook Woo Woo. So, whether you're new to budgeting or trying to reach a big financial goal and needs something to motivate you, you will enjoy the Frugal Friends Workbook. It's a digital work book with six weeklong challenges that will help you save money, simplify your life, improve money conversations, and more. It's over sixty pages and can be complete on your own, but it's created to be gone through in pairs or small groups.

That's why every purchase comes with two downloads so you can share or split the cost. So head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash Workbook to learn more and use the code taco bell all one word to get ten dollars off the regular price. So good. Also brought to you by cute aggression. That feeling you get when you see literally anything that is tiny and overwhelmingly adorable that you grit your teeth, clench your muscles, and say weird things that you would never actually do but somehow

feels right to say. Cute aggression. You either understand it completely or are entirely concerned by it. There is no in between. When I first found out about your cute aggression, I was, uh, entirely concerned by it. Most people are. Most people just stare at me gritting my teeth at like a little baby and thinking, dear Lord, what is she about to do? But in reality I am gritting my teeth. All of my aggression goes to my own jaw and then and then I very gently, like um,

touch the baby's head, or like um, that's it. That's all. That's all you do when I come over to your house. Like my running joke is, let's wake Hi up. Yeah, every single time, we've never poken him up from sleep. That's always like a non negotiable, never happens, but I'm always vying for it. Now, before we get into this subject more, let's get into our interview with Chelsea Brennan.

She's a former hedge fund in uster and founder of Smart Money Mama's as well as a creator of the Mama's Talk Money Summit, which is a huge free summit in October with over thirty financial experts speaking literally to tens of thousands of moms. And it's free. So we're excited to have her on the show today sharing her frugal tips for new parents, um, and also how you can frugally support new moms in your life. So let's get into it it. Welcome Chelsea. How are you. I'm

doing well? Thanks to what for having me. So glad to have you. We are excited to have you because I have a one year old. Jill doesn't have any kids, but a lot of our listeners are just where I'm at or starting to think about having kids, or even one of the girls in our Frugal Friends community on Facebook was like, I'm getting anxious. I don't even have kids, but my friends are starting to have kids, and I don't know how to support them, Like so so many

different places you could be here. Yeah, it's a huge change when you have kids or when your friends start having kids even and then you're wondering what you're gonna do and how do you support them, and it's it's a lot. It's a big change. Yes, Yeah, we are excited for these questions that we've got for you. And then just um sharing some more like resources at the end. So let's get into it, um, So, what are some of the cost new moms think they might need to

spend money on but really aren't necessary. This is kind of like the Golden questions. So let's get it out of the way. So many things. We actually just had a conversation on the Smart Money Mom's Instagram page of like what do you wish you didn't buy? And all the answers from all the moms, which we had dozens

and dozens with which were like basically everything. And so there's this whole industry around like the things you need to keep your kids, say, right, like there's even this bassinet they have now that's like senses when your kid is waking up and then like rocks them back to sleep, and it's like a two thousand dollar like bassonet. Right, you don't need these things even if your kid likes them. They use them for two months, three months, and then

it's no longer a need. And so one of the things that comes up a lot, interestingly is in nursery. And so if you go on pinterest, right, there's like a million like nursery designs and what style do you want and what's all the stuff? A lot of parents never really use that room, right, And so at the beginning your kid's going to be sleeping in a bassinet next to your bed or even you know, in your bed,

which I know is debatable. You won't get too far into that, but like a lot of people end up keeping their kid in their room for quite a while, and then when they're ready to transition to them into their own bedroom, a quieter space with less stuff actually can make sleep easier for your child and they might

not be in there as much. So a lot of people choose to not set up the nursery until after their kid has arrived, and then they know what they need in that space, and they can also do a lot of hand me downs, right for cribs, um for books, for toys, for all that kind of stuff. The rest of it, the toys, all the crap that goes with parenting,

your kids don't care about. And so this is the most frustrating thing is that you do your baby shower, you buy all this stuff, you read, all these educational toys, and your kid just wants to play with like a wooden spoon and the box and none of this stuff, right, they don't care and it clutters up your house. And so we were as such talking to a friend recently who's expecting who Mom wants her to add more stuff to her registry, and I was like, I went through

the same thing with my mom. She was like, there's more people coming to your baby shower. You need to add more things to your list. And so I did, and then I sent her pictures. Two years later when we were moving house and I was selling things that had never come out the package, like they've just been

sitting in the basement. It was like, and I felt bad because people want to support you and they want to give you things, but you don't need a lot of stuff, and so the basics that you do need right or like a place for your baby to sleep, diapers and wipes. Cloth diapers are a great option. We can talk about that too. People think it's way more intensive than it actually is. Cloth diapers have gotten a lot easier. Um, a way to feed them. If you're

gonna breastfeed, you might need a breast pump. Um, if you're gonna formula feed, you're gonna need bottles and the rest of it. And then some clothes. And like when we talk about clothes, it depends on where you live a little bit. But they need like five or six outfits that you can wash, and a bunch of onesies and sleepers and the rest of its extraneous, like they're not going to wear them more than one or two times before you grow out of them anyway. And so

that's really the basic list. And then there's some things that are you know, helpful if you have the space for them, things like, um, a nose free to did you use one of those? Gin? I did? Yes, I use things free? It was what what pause explains? Because that just really want us to explain this. You don't, but but we will. I will. I love I loved it. So it's a tube that you stick up your child's no like just up right there, stuck on the straw and you suck on it. Yeah, and it gets the

snot out. So it is helpful. So that's a staple like that that means to happen enough that that's like yeah, because it's just more like powerful than just using the little sucker. Um, they can't give you the ball sucker. Yeah, it's happening to your child's nose that you need to do this so you're sick, they have a cold, Okay, it's you don't use it all the time. You only use it when they have a cold, but on the occasion every time after yeah, and the tastes they do

have a cold, it is essential. Well I know what I'm getting all my friends. Yes, exactly, it's fantastic, And it's not that what's another thing that's like not that expensive, but it's it's nice to have, um a tub, like if you're gonna do the safety tub thing. We actually like almost never used ours our kids. I like held them in the shower was easier for us until they got big enough to be in the tub. But those

are some like little things. But the essentials are a really short list, so the rest of it don't get worried about, like all the things that people say you

need yeah for the baby registry. So my solution to my mom wanting me to have this long registry was that I did register for a lot of things that were affordable but not even necessarily that I needed, and then went straight back after the baby shower and returned all of them and bought the hundred dollar monitor that I wanted because no one was going to spend oh gosh, maybe it was like a hundred and fifty bucks. It

was this nice video monitor. No one was going to buy me that, so I just registered for all these things. I did the same with my bridle shower. I just registered for all these things that we're just affordable, and then returned a big portion of them to get what I really wanted. So this is off script, but I

imagine both of you could help with this. I would think that a big component to people feeling like they need to spend a lot of money and buy like all the things, is that innate thing that starts to happen what do they call it, like nesting or like wanting to provide your child the best and wanting it to be a safe environment. So like that I could see being a big reason to get sucked into spending

a ton of money. Like people are playing on that, and really marketers are targeting moms just like that female mothers is like who I mean, it's a it's a big market. So any thoughts that you guys, and either one of you, Again, I know this is off sc but I would imagine that would be a big reason to spend a ton of money. Like how do you combat that thought of Like, but if I buy this, then I'm providing safety and security to my child, which

is important. Yeah, I mean that's a huge component. I think when you're expecting, especially your first baby, there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of I don't want to screw this up. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, And you're right, marketers play on that. There's the there's two sides of that. One is safety, and

that is huge. There are now like monitors that they sell that like, well, attach to your baby's foot and like track their like heartbeat and sleep patterns, which anything you want to cause like postpartum anxiety is like watching your kids like temperature and heart rate overnight, right, Like these are not things that we necessarily need, but marketers play on you need to watch them all the time,

that you need to be super careful. And even car seats are an interesting one too that I've talked to car seat experts before about like you know, there's the hundred dollar car seat and then there's the nine car seat, and they all have to pass the same car seat tests. It's just that we have like they add these features to like, well, your kid won't be really safe unless you put them in the sis or whatever, and they do play on that, And I think it's remembering that

what are what are the actual risks here? What are and what things have we survived for thousands of years doing like without um and what what do we feel actually safe about? And I think asking that question of like is this something that's going to cause me more anxiety, especially when it comes to all the monitoring stuff that's come off out the last several years. The second side that's come up more and more, even at the infancy

stage is our focus on educational development. And this makes my head hurt, like like that like if your kid can't read by the time they're three years old, like they're behind, and that they need these certain toys to develop their eyes and like we've gotten really really focused on like if you don't provide your kids with these educational researchers from the beginning, they will never catch up.

And the reality is that's not how educational development works there, and that like there's a lot of stuff of kids just natural exploration, just looking at the things around them is all they really need, UM, and that all these toys are extraneous, and there's actually some evidence that pushing education too early and obviously infancy is way too early, but I'm even talking like to three years old can delay long term development because kids start to resent that

work and their brains aren't ready for it, and then they feel like they're not intelligent, and so they don't want to learn later in life, and so all of these things, these educational toys. Remember that, like their natural curiosity and ingenuity is going to benefit them long term. So if they have fewer toys, they actually are more likely to interact with them and play with them longer than if they have a thousand of them. Um, And

so yeah, the marketers definitely play on that. I think it's getting clear on what do you really want, what's going to make your house make the most sense. I think clutter is something that also adds to stress and anxiety, right, and and budget and so do what fits for your family. And if you need things over time, you can always get them, but trying to buy it all during the

nesting period is is tough. And for the nesting period, I don't know what your experience was jen but like simply decluttering and cleaning can get that nesting energy out to it doesn't need to be buying stuff and painting new rooms, like you can really be like, Okay, we're gonna make the house safe by just making it be more organized. Yeah, we we did that. So we only got kind of what was given to us um from our buy nothing group or from um like different mom

groups on Facebook. So we just started out with that and then he for the first six months really was only interested in in us and playing with us, and it wasn't really interested in toys. And I'm not sure if that's like the way all babies are, but he didn't really start playing with toys until he was like nine six to nine months old. So we had all these toys for half a year that never even rattle, uh,

that you know, weren't really played with. So as we identified kind of things that he started to do with the toys, then we're like, oh, this toy actually might be better for what he's trying to do. So then

we went out and we looked for it. And so that way we make sure we only have kind of what he's interested in at the moment, which is like toy cars and blocks, So that's what we have out and then other things that maybe we get for Christmas or birthdays still in packaging, waiting for him to be interested in them and not cluttering our house, because cluttering adds to already the stress that you have as a new parent, um, and then all of the other things

going on in your life. So we try to as as best as possible keep his stuff to one little corner of the living room that we can clean up every night. And yeah, like it does. It's it's spews or own the house. It's like, yeah, you can't avoid it, um, But if you know that it's like a manageable like, oh, I can push everything to the corner at the end of the night, then it's a little bit more bearable. But yeah, I think cleaning um and decluttering big like

resolvers for nesting syndrome, way better than shopping. And with the toys, by the way, this is not necessarily the most frugal thing, but we love um. We have a love every subscription for a second child. And so I don't know if you're familiar, but they are a monastory toy company. They only do like wooden toys, like really good tactile development and so it's a monthly subscription box. And then as the kids get older, So my son is two and a half. He only gets with them

every three months. Now. They will send you note cards like what they're developmentally learning about. So what you were saying, Jen about how your son didn't start really playing with things to six to nine months, Well, kids aren't really

reaching and grabbing until that age. And so they'll send you a box with a couple of toys that match where their current development skills are and that match with you know, they're not light up, they're not plastic, they're not like and those have been really really good, and the boys play with them consistently, and they give you tools to continue to like let them have play based learning throughout their their toddler development, which has been really great.

And those started like thirty six dollars a month, and those are really the only kind of toys that we buy. Um, we just set that up and and we have parents that will buy months of those boxes, which is great. Yeah, and then you can pass them on like you can you know, if you have a friend who's like three months behind you with their kid, they can you know, buy it from you for like half price, recoup some costs. I mean, you don't have to take it all on

your own. If that's something that you want to do. Yeah, and they and they play with the toys even when they're past that. It's not like it's only useful for that month of time. They still play with all the old stuff, and there's ways to like increase the lessons, but it's just mostly, especially in the early on, it's very tactile um um stuff. So that's always a good option too if you're looking for ongoing, you know, development, stuff that doesn't cause a lot of clutter. This is

such great news. I mean, I don't have kids. We said that already, but it's so One of the things that's overwhelming to me as an observer of parenting is how much stuff people have. I'm like, this is a tiny little thing. And I specifically remember I cannot get this image out of my brain. Eric and I were flying somewhere and there was this couple. They had literally one infant, and it took both of them to carry

like bags. There was a diaper bag and a car seat bag, and a stroller bag and a food bag and I don't I couldn't even tell you. There were just so many bags and both of them were struggling and this was a big dude too, and he had like five bags slung over in this massive struggle, and

I'm just like, holy smokes. Some mean good for them that they're getting on this plane and they're they're going somewhere, but this looks incredibly overwhelming probably anywhere, the amount of things that they had to take, and so many people were coming in and helping them, but they both just looked so overwhelmed, like just piled up with stuff for like probably all ten pounds worth of a human. I'm like, how much do they need? I don't know if I'm

ever going to do this. That's totally a first time parent versus second time. The amount of stuff we would bring to take Henry anywhere, and the stuff that we bring for George is like night and day. It's like, yeah, you got some food and a toy. Exactly, how do we adopt that for first five parents? Well? Anyhow, that's this is to me such great freedom, I think, just to tell people it's you don't need that much. For those who have been there before, you don't need that much.

Just have the baby and then discover what you need. However, there is a flip side to this, and I'm curious to pick your brain on this chelsea of costs that new parents might not think about but are legitimately important. Like, are there any pieces that you discovered? Yeah, you know what, I don't even think about that, but but this would be this would have been important for us to have invested in. Yeah. So I'll go from the most serious

to kind of a couple other options. The first thing that I tell all the new moms in our community is life insurance and an estate plan. Like, it's so hard to be excited and expecting new life and your new baby and then be like, well, I have to plan for what if I not um, which is, you know, not the most uplifting thing, but it's incredibly, incredibly important. This is the best time to do it. Um, you're young, if you're relatively healthy, if your pregnancy is non complicated,

you can get life insurance while you're pregnant. You can do it quickly and easily. That way, your family is covered. You and your spouse should make sure you have life insurance outside of work. And this is another thing that people sometimes in our community will come on the well, my my work offers life insurance. I don't need other life insurance. And the problem with that is one they

likely don't offer enough life insurance. Like the average company sponsored plan is like half your salary to maybe two times your salary. The average parent needs somewhere between six and ten times their salary as life insurance. And when you think about it, um housing is is one of

the big reasons for that. Right. So, if you and your spouse about at home and you want your spouse to be able to stay there if something happened to you, and your kids to stay there if something happened to you, If you don't have enough life insurance to pay off the mortgage or pay off a huge chunk of the mortgage, you're then solo. Spouse has to reapply to be able to hold the mortgage on their own. And if they can't do that, if you had dual incomes, they will

have to move out of the house. They will um they won't be able to be ap proofd for a mortgage, and so paying off mortgage is part of that paying off other debt is part of that number, and then paying for childcare replacing lost income, all those things come into life insurance, right, and so making sure you have

good term life insurance is the first step. The second step is a state planning, and I think a lot of young families think like state plans are for people who have a ton of money and like I don't have to worry about that, which isn't the case at all, right, and especially for parents, you need an estate plan to

name guardians for your kids. And if you have life insurance and a child, then you need a way that that money is going to be allocated if you and especially if you and your partner aren't around um and so this doesn't have to be super complicated if you don't have a ton of assets. If mostly you're looking at you know, life insurance and your house and guardianship for your kids, you can go get a state plan online.

I Trust and Will is my favorite online resource, and it's like sixty for a will, I think is where it starts at. And you can do it all online. They will mail it to you. You You do have to go get it notarized in most states, but it's not as heavy as a process as you think. So those are the two expenses i'd really make sure you cover

early on. And the hard thing to think about is that, like pregnancy has complications and you want to make sure you're covered before you have your kid in case something happens, or if you have some issue that you then can't go back to work, um or some disability that comes through having your baby that then you can't get life insurance in the future. Like that, you want to do this now so that you're protective. So that's the first

major expense. Yeah, what a great gift if you were to I say, I'm going to backtrack what I just said, but like a great, great gift to give somebody, like a will from trust and will it's so affordable. Uh, it's sketchy that you're gifting somebody a will, but it's

it shows that you really legitimately care. I know. I was just thinking, like a be great to move the needle a bit where I think so many parents don't want to collect a ton of toys, but everybody in their life doesn't know what else to do, so they're just giving tons of toys and clothes that end up not being used to be able to create. Like, yeah, take away the stigma from just asking for money, or helping with a life insurance plan or helping with an

estate plan. Those are the things that would be amazing gifts, yeah, and life insurance. You can go back and listen to our insurance episode. But life insurance is really affordable now for like a twenty year term policy, we pay less than twenty dollars a month and um ours just through Haven Life, but there's also Ladder and Bestow and it's completely online. They will literally come to your house to do the health check, so you don't even have to go anywhere um Or at least that's how it was

for us. And UH actually doesn't require your health exam at all through their policy and then policy Genius, which is more of a price comparison tool, so they'll pull up a bunch of different life insurance policies. Um. They now have a policy that is only if you qualify, you have to be healthy, and like I'm going to give the disclaimer, I give every time answer honestly about your health background. If you don't, they do not have to honor the policy, and so make sure you're being honest,

not trying to get the lowest rate possible. But if you qualify, if your healthy individual um for them, the only health exam is a phone based once so you're gonna have like a fifteen minute call just to go through your medical history and then you'll be approved and so you might not even have to see a doctor

if you're healthy. Yeah, and it's definitely be honest because even if you're paying, they have two years to where they can like revoke and cancel your policy and you like lose that money, So be honest and they can't revoke. How they revoke is more if you've lied then if you develop addition, want to people to get nervous, if you develop some ailment or illness or whatever, they can't

revoke for that reason. It's more if that they pull your medical records or something comes up that you have been dishonest about how you got underwritten, then they can overturn it. Good. Good note, And we talked about gifts,

so we have um. Our most popular product at Smartmney Momas is our Family Emergency Binder, which is meant to kind of fill the gap right between a life insurance plan and estate plan, because those things don't tell your spouse how to pay the bills right or like how to get into the past code of your phone and all that kind of stuff and some also emotional stuff

we have in there too. So recently I was talking to Lauren, who's on my team at Smartmoey Moms, and she's like my last three friends that I got invited to their baby shower. I sent them a family emergency pint. It's been great and we actually have a lot of

people give them to their parents for similar reasons. Right, Like, we have to get rid of the stigma that talking about proper financial planning, talk talking about death and disability and all the kind of things needs to be more open so that it makes the process if some of these things happen less painful, Yes, exactly, And we will will definitely link to Chelsea's Um emergency binder in the show notes so that you guys can grab it if

you want. It sounds great. The other things, so I was gonna say, I was gonna go from the most extreme to the less extreme. The other costs that I would think about are are more around kind of a

baby emergency fund is what I call it. And you don't know what costs are going to call up for your kids, right And so for us with Henry Um, we ended up having to do a ton of lactation consultant visits with him, and then he still wasn't able to breastfeed, so we went I mean, we spent a ton of money doing these private lactation consultant visits, and then we took him to an ear nose and throat to see if there was a reason he couldn't watch properly,

and all those things cost money, and then afterwards we had to buy formula, which wasn't currently in our budget, right, So this came up in that way with George. We

had already planned for that. But some of the other things that I like to have that emergency fund for for new parents is maybe planning for a week that you get home, that you have meals delivered right, or that you have a night nurse come in one night a week for the first couple of weeks to give you a break, especially if you have a spouse that you know it works a lot or works at night and can't help um some things to kind of those aren't you know, it's not the most frugal way to

do things, but if it can maintain your sanity, I think that that is a really hard time for everybody, and if you don't have family nearby, making sure you have a little bit of extra support in those weeks that you have the money to do it if you need it is a huge relief. Yeah, or I mean flying in a parent so they can watch. My mom is thankfully local, but she spent the first week with us, and we would, you know, on every other night, we would put him in the guest room with her, um,

so that we could like recoup. Yeah. Um, thank you for saying this. And I just wanna I want to highlight this because I think moms in general need to hear this. So I am a therapist and I counsel a lot of moms and really find that that transition is quite difficult on a lot of women. Um. And a lot of my counseling just has to do with helping people find permission to be kind to themselves. Um. There's this idea that we have to do it all and we've got to be okay doing it all, and

everybody else is doing it all. And I think being able to hear you both say ask for help, spend some money to be able to get yourself a break, you will be a better mom for it. I cannot tell you how many exhausted, overwhelmed, tired, burden moms I see on a regular basis, and my work with them is, hey, how can you get a weekend away? How can you get some sleep. I'm not going to counsel you about anything else until you get rest. Ultimately, you need rest.

You need to sleep. You're not going to be good for anybody else, So like find ways to do That's like I don't want to ask, I don't want to burn somebody else. I don't want to pay the money, Like this is so important. I know that we say, okay, this is not maybe the most frugal it is if

we're spending money wisely and we're budgeting for it. So yeah, don't get all the expensive toys and like the monitor that tells you like whether or not your baby is awake, but get somebody to come help you so that you can go take a nap, so that you can have some food and not have to worry about dinner every single night. Like I cannot highlight that enough. And if it helps for our listeners to hear permission to do that,

it's necessary. Yeah, And a fantastic gift for a new mom is just to set up like a meal train with like five of your friends and you know, for five nights, everyone just brings one meal. It is It is a fantastic gift and costs you know, almost nothing, and you just make a double batch of what you were making for dinner anyways, and it's great and also not not necessarily coming in to the house. And like sometimes you people don't want guests, then it's like you're overwhelmed.

You're trying to figure out how to breasfeed, if you're gonna breastfeed, like all this stuff is really overwhelming. And so I had a really good friend um with Henry that would like drop something on the doorstep and she's like, I left food on the doorstep, Like if you want to have coffee tomorrow, let me know, but like I'm out of your space. Or would come over and be like all right, I'm gonna fold the laundry in the laundry room, like if you need me, I'm over here,

and that was like just enough presence. I think sometimes people come over and they're like I want to hold the baby for you, and you're like, I don't need you to hold the baby. What I need you to do is like do all this other stuff exactly, And I yes, that is something that my sister taught me to. She's like, no, I don't want you to hold my baby, so I can go do other work. Like I want

to hold my baby, you can clean the toilet. Obviously that takes like a different level of friendship, but that has changed my perspective, Like if I'm going to come over to somebody's house, I'm not going to ask for that. I'm going to say what needs to be cleaned? And yeah, usually it's gonna take ten to fifteen minutes. And what a blessing that is for a new mom. Or dropping the laundry off at a washing fold service and picking

it up like something like that. And another thing is I know, um a lot of people try and do these things in the first few weeks. UM, And yes that is the most stressful. But for me, it was kind of like after three weeks when everybody was gone and it was still just it was still stressful, but like I'd lost all the you know, initial people trying

to help. UM. So take into consideration, you don't have to be there right when mom gets home from the hospital that you know, wait that you know you can wait you know, three, three or four weeks and she will still need and value your health just this much. Totally totally agree. And the one thing, Joe with the you mentioned your therapist, um, I want to mention for

moms who need to hear it. One thing I wasn't aware of is that postpartum can start any time in the first year, and so with my first I didn't develop postpart impression and anxiety until he was six months old and so I was back at work. I did my first two months back at work, no problem, everything was fine, and then it hit and I did not identify it as postpartum at all because I was like, well, he's it's he's six months old, Like what could this

possibly be? And so I didn't get treatment at all with him until actually after the birth of my second. So I struggled with it for almost two years and then had somebody be like, actually, this could just still

be postpartum um, so watch for that and more. It's hard to put the onus on the mom to recognize when something is wrong like that, because it's but like educating your spouse UM talking asking you your o B if she can he or she can explain to your partner UM what this looks like and what to watch out for. Pediatricians can be a huge help too, and like educating your partner in reminding you what's normal and what's not um but just watch out for it. In

that whole first year. Yeah, our pediatrician actually had me fill out a form every time we came in asking about my mental health, which I thought was really cool.

So like for the whole first year. Yeah, because I saw her way more than I saw my o B. So yeah, so i'f I mean pediatricians are UM able to identify and help with that, so don't be afraid to ask, well said, which I think just continues to highlight that the care for you as a mom is so important that like good diet, being able to get sleep, still engaging with other human adults, human adults like these

are all important things. Um, it looks different, it will absolutely look different in this massive transition, but yes, care for yourself to mm hmm. Yeah, a budget in for self care is the moral of that story. If even good local moms group. I think it's hard at the time of COVID because no one's really going near each other, but in general, finding a local moms even a local mom zoom call or something that you can have some people and maybe they don't become your closest friends forever.

Maybe they will, but like it's just other people who are going through the same thing can be really really helpful. Yeah, definitely, um, Chelsea. So for so for the physical things we do need, Um, what are some ways that you kind of saved money on that stuff? Yeah, there's a lot of good ways to save money here. I think the first one you mentioned earlier is a local buy nothing group, UM, where people are passing things on talking to friends about hand

me downs. I think the crazy thing about baby stuff is that you don't use it for very long and then it's still in perfectly good condition most of the time. So asking for hand me downs and even offering and saying like, you know, maybe your friend had a first baby they're thinking about a second one, and saying like, I will give it back to you when when we're done with it. Having some agreements around that, UM. Sharing

costs can work as well. Off. You know, if you're expecting a baby and your friend is having is earlier in their pregnancy and you can pass it, you can buy it together and pass it down as well. There's things to do that, but there's a lot of places to where you can really get things for free, whether it's buy nothing groups or hand me downs. The second one,

UM is thrift shops. There's lots of rift shops that are just for baby stuff and so Once Upon a Child is a really popular chain that's in most areas of the country UM and that's where you can get things generally use the quality has been checked. It works good clothes and things like that for much cheaper than you could do at regular price. I have been loving UM kids consignment events like these pop up events UM So. The one near me is called Realna, but there are

a lot of different ones. So it's like just between friends kids closet connection, you know, we fill in the blank because there's a lot that start with we something, So just looking for like kids consignment event in your city can pop up and usually there's one in the spring and the fall, and typically they will have an early shopping time for expecting mothers and you can bring one person uh and then consigners and you can consign

stuff too and make some money. I usually do it just to make enough to reimburse whatever I will spend at the event. So I have I've been loving those like since I was pregnant. Yeah, that's great. Those are awesome. What about Chelsea medical costs like for delivery and baby well checks and that kind of thing, which should new

moms pregnant moms be preparing themselves for. Yeah, so for well checks, for baby well checks, most of those are at least a certain number of them are covered by insurance through a c A and so you don't necessarily have to worry about that maternal well checks during pregnant

a that depends on your health insurance plan. I think this is a really good place to call your insurance provider and ask what is going to have to be what are we gonna have to earn the deductible for, and what what are we not Some of those things are covered and some aren't, um to kind of get a sense. And then for hospital stay costs, those can be really high. Right in the US, we have some healthcare problems, and so on average you're talking to six

thousand dollars. It can be more if you have a c section or you have a longer stay in the hospital, and that you do typically have to pay your deductible for first, if you don't have a p PO then you have a deductible, you have to pay that off first, and so understanding what you're deductible is another place to

ask good questions. UM. And then if you're pregnant and having a baby the next calendar year, keep in mind that you're gonna have to do your deductible twice and so planning and budgeting for that if you're if you're lapping over now, if you want to reduce delivery costs, if that's something that like you're gonna have to pay your DEDUCTI and you're willing to consider other options, Birthing

centers tend to be cheaper. You can usually anywhere between three thousand dollars to do and that includes in a birthing center, you're usually including um prenatal visits, and postpartum care in that as well. UM. Same with if you wanted to hire a midwife that may work in a hospital or in a birthing center UM or will even come to your home. Those are some ways that you can lower delivery costs if you're having a non complicated

pregnancy and birth rate. UM. But yeah, you're talking for delivery in the thousands of dollars and you just want

to make sure you're asking good questions. Now, part of the problem when you call the hospital and say, what are your delivery average delivery costs is that they're going to be real kg with you because they don't know because if you come in, well, first of all, the doctors don't know, they don't have an answer, and they're specifically kept from knowing those numbers that they don't determine people's care based on cost, which I understand what makes it really hard as a patient it um but what

but what the problem is if you come in and have a completely uncomplicated vaginal birth and you leave in two days, your price is radically different. Then if you have a long complicated birth that ends up in an emergency C section and you spend two weeks in the hospital, right, and so they don't want to give you a number and then be radically off. They can usually give you a range. You can ask specific questions like, Okay, what is an uncomplicated birth on average cost? What is a

cesarean on average cost? Just so that you kind of know and understanding that if you have standard health insurance, you're only gonna have to go up to your deductible and so if you can't get good answers, at least plan to pay your full deductible and if you don't have to, then you can cover that another. Sorry, I'm gonna stop because I'm rambling. I was gonna Yeah, I was gonna share my experience. So so that is common.

But that's where choosing your o B or your mad wife is really important, because the one that I chose had a set standard price UM for everything, even if it overlapped calendar years UM, and it was just based

on what insurance you have. So selecting a UM an office and I almost went with a birth center because I'm healthy first pregnancy UM, but then decided to go with an OBI just just because, and then ended up having uh Kai was breached and so I had a planned c section, but the c section was the same price as if I delivered naturally. So personally, I kind of felt like I was getting a deal, like I

was getting more for my money. But also I had to actually switch insurance providers like a month before I gave birth. And yeah, so I found out that my husband's my husband's plan offered was a lower cost at my oh B than my insurance plan that I was on, So when we switched to him, I actually got money back. So it's worth asking, like, once you choose an O B asking Okay, so between this plan and this plan,

what's the cost if this was my insurance? And what would be the cost if this was my insurance, And so maybe you might want to switch early on in the process and like not a month before you get birth UM, and then also again a week after you give birth. It was just two thousand nineteen was a year. So yeah, uh, those are questions to ask in the process of choosing UM your care. Yeah, and I think there's also a good place to really talk to your

insurance provider of what options they have. And so a lot of plans will offer covering a breast pump, or they'll cover a birthing class, or they'll reimburse part of a birthing class. UM. There's usually a lot of different things that they'll do that are small perks, and you want to know what they are going into it so that you can take full advantage of those and you're not buying something and then trying to get reimbursed after the fact when there was a process you should have

gone through in the first place. Absolutely, Yeah, And we paid for a a birthing class. We actually chose a higher cost one that was kind of more like holistic versus the one they offered at the hospital. Uh. And I would pay that money again and again because it was just a great class. And we actually met some people who, you know, their babies were going to be the same age as Kai, and so they became our friends.

And ironically enough, we all ended up having c sections anyway, so you know whatever, But um, I would pay that money again and again just because that experience was so positive, so great. Well, you know what else is positive? And then again see the bill of the week. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.

That build buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week, Chelsea. Every week we invite our guest or one of our listeners to share with us their bill of the week. Do you have one for us? Yes? So my bill of the week was I recently paid the will for my new sit to stand desk which I'm at right now, and so I purchased it, but it was back ordered, and so they sent me once it was available that I could pay pay for the desk. I paid for it and arrived. It's my favorite thing

in the world. So it's from Uplift Desk. It's crazy, stupid expensive desk, but I'm happy to pay for it because it's like automatically raises from from sit to stand. I have a balance board that goes with it, which for someone like me that fidgets like crazy, is been the most productive, amazing thing. So we paid that last week. It arrived over the weekend and we got it set up and that is my bill of the week. But I I don't feel like that would be something I

could use. I'm always having trouble closing my stand ring on my on my Apple Watch because I just work and I like, we'll sit for five hours straight. I love these bills that people could Yeah, because others will call into Chelsea with these things that they have purchased that aren't necessarily inexpensive, but they love it. This has been an intentional purchase and I think that's so great too.

Although I am a little bit worried for when my husband edits this episode because he has been um drooling over some desks, some standing desk, and he's like, could be so great if it's automatic. And then I looked at the price and I'm like, oh my gosh. You know, I was looking at the price. So the desk was like, I'll tell you, the desk was like eight hundred fifty dollars with the balance board and everything, which is expensive

for desk. But then I went on pottery Barn just because I was like, what do people pay for like when they go to the one of these starts, and I was like, oh my god, like these are like two thousand dollars. That's what I thought you were going to say, the price of a peloton. So it was totally worth the price for me, especially cause I'm I'm like you gen, I'm like, I'm working all the time. I'm sitting way too often. It's horrible for my back, um,

and so it's been good. I recently just upgraded my desk chair to a chair that we found on the side of the road that has padding, but it's like ripping on the bottom. So I have a receiving blanket over the rips so they don't bother my butt. Um. Yeah, I'm like upgrading as I go, as I grow, as

I grow. Well, if you want to submit your bill of the week to us, whether it is your sit to stand desk, or anything else that you purchase that you're super excited about, or anything related to a bill, you know the drill, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill, leave us your bill. I evenmed there, look at me, I like some poetry happening over get on TikTok. I have aged out of that system. Yeah, I tried it. I didn't even upload anything, and now it's time for around.

That was a good motion, Jen. I'm sorry that our listeners can't see that, and more recording because the video. Yeah not because Jen mikes wearing her workout clothes too much when we record, but they're still I don't you make it sound like I'm wearing like you can't see my workout clothes. This is because you can see my shoulders. Were not allowed to post the video anymore. I don't know.

All right, So today's Lightning Round. We are talking about some ways that friends can support their friends who are new moms. We kind of sprinkled this in UM, but we're going a little more targeted because I feel like are a lot of people in the Frugal Friends community have echoed this like desire to want to support their new mom friends UM and then also learn a little bit about what they're going to need, you know whatever. Yeah,

So Chelsea as our guest of honor, will you start. Yeah. So, one of the ways that you can support your new mom friends is, like we said, offering some household help, whether that's you know, coupons for you to come over and do the laundry or drop a washing fold service. One of my favorite gifts from new moms is actually a gift certificate for a house cleaning and so Amazon Prime like, lets you do this with Amazon Prime Home now that you can pick your friends address and send

house cleaning service. And so that's my favorite thing to do. But really just any way to help the mom and maybe even like some gifts for the mom. So like I do, I like to send a care package of like water bottles, because food and water, some snacks and a nice candle or something that's really for their self care and is not a gift for the baby, because sometimes you become a new mom, and then people forget that you are a person. They just wanted to attention

to your baby. So yes, oh my gosh, um wow, Jill, Jill took my original one. So Jill, you go now, while I continue to think absolutely so for me, I send this is just something I do already, hopefully it's enjoyed. I will send food deliveries from local restaurants, like I'll

ask people what do they want? Or I'll send them a gift card to like grub Hub or door dash or something so they don't have to go out of the house and can get food that they actually really want, because well you all know, I have a hard time, hard enough time cooking for myself, much less cooking for somebody else. And then like aligning that on a day when I can drop it off at somebody's house, like, no, it's it's too much, So I just send them. I

send them food, like what do you want? Here? You go and get it delivered to their house and I pay the tip and all that um. Because I also think new moms have got to be tired of all that homemade lasagna that does get dropped off at their door. And I also think people are dropping off like a lot, like it's just a ton of carbs and maybe some unhealthy food, and so I try to think like, okay, what what would be some fresh fruit produce? Um yeah,

like you said, Chelsea, some things for the mom. Maybe even some things for the other kids if there if there's other children in the home and they were talking new moms, but um yeah, if it's a second or third baby, sometimes that can be appreciated to And I try to do it all like inexpensively. I'm not like you know, I'm not like spending all my money on people,

but I think it can help. So even like getting reduced gift cards through I know we've talked about on our podcast jen Raise dot com and we've got a code. I think it's Frugal Friends dot com slat for Girl Friends podcast dot com slash rays. Um. Yeah, so yeah, you can even purchase some of these things for your friends in some inexpensive ways, or give people those gift cards that you got discounted. Yes, uh so yeah, those

were the two options that I was thinking of. The cleaning and well, the lot lot dree would have been my thing that I would have said, like either doing it for them, or if you don't want to see their unmentionables, just sending it to a wash and fold place. It's very inexpensive per pound. Um, so doing that because there's a lot of laundry that goes like with a new baby. Um, and specifically doing it not just in

the first month, but like in the second month. I think it was the second and third month that I started to have like true mental breakdowns. So that would have been do you very nice? Do you gen have any tips for people, like just if they want to give a tangible gift, like what was super helpful to you? Like what's a good go to gift? It depends. So I'm I'm super practical, so like diapers were everything for me. Um. Yeah.

And but as far as like a I a good gift that I received, A really good one was a book that was customized with his name in it. Um. So that was really great because he's not super into books right now, but when we start reading, to be able to like read that book with his name in it will be super nice. And um So my friend Jessica like had that book made um from a website, but um, my friend Andy from Marriage Kids and Money actually found this series, this book that had Kai's name

in it. It wasn't like he didn't have it made. It just had Kai's name in it. Uh, And he sent that to us, which was really great. Um, it's fin litt Kids. So it's a book about like financial literacy four kids. It was I'm obsessed. So yeah, like a book with his name. But yeah, for for the mom Oh my gosh, wine, it was really fun. Wine. There you go. I won't lie. Yeah, I only breast bed for six months because I couldn't. I couldn't keep

timing my wine drinking. You couldn't stay away from your bottle. Well, this has been fun. We should probably end now for sure. Tell us about what you have going on at Smart

Money Mama's and Mama's Talk Money. Yeah. So at Smart Money Mama's we're actually gonna be rolling out a new product at the end of August binning of September called the New Mama Money Plan, where we're really going to walk people through like what do you have to do to financially prepare for a baby, how do you plan for their first year, how do you get the right life insurance? All those kind of things. Um, and then

my favorite part of that work book. It will be a workbook and then a training video that goes with it. My favorite part of is actually thinking about what you want your work career to look like post baby, and how to prepare for maternity leave if you're going to go back to work, or how to think about being a stay at home mom and your budget if not. Um. So, we're really excited about that coming out in a few weeks. And then Mama's Talk Money, which is our annual online conference,

happens October twelve through the sixteenth this year. We're really excited. The line up of speakers is phenomenal and we can't wait for that. So that's a free event if anyone wants to come attend in October. Yes, um and so we will have those links in our show notes. But um you can also visit Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash New Mama and we will have that m our affiliate link for that workbook and master class, and then Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash Mama's for the summit.

How are you spelling Mama's m A m A say just it's a good question. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, that's a good question. M A M A S nice because I M O M M A just just to let you know. Wow, Okay, it's not how we spell it. You have a child that speaks in in two syllable words. Um, I complicate it with more letters than I need. Yeah, all right, Chelsea, thank you so much for coming on and uh we look forward to uh seeing you around and checking out what you have on your website. Thanks

so much for having me. This is fun, so good. Yes, I'm not a parent, and I still feel like I gained so much from that conversation. Yeah, I feel like we had a lot of ways that friends and moms can support new moms and then giving great because I think that's a big there's a big lack of grace in new moms, like to themselves. So I need permission.

We all need permission, and I hope that this can give you something like you don't need really anything except for to love your child and to keep them safe and alive and a few thousand dollars to give birth to them for sure, But even that's debatable because they'll deliver your baby just when it's coming it, they'll deliver it and then they'll charge you, so thanks so much for listening. We want to thank you for your kind reviews on iTunes and Stitcher, like this one. Money Conversations

you wish you had with your friends. Jen and Jill are the friends you wish you had in real life to talk money with it. Tune in every Friday to hang out with these ladies. They have a fresh perspective on personal finance content, but know how to keep it real. I also love that Jen and I are both social works. She met Jill. That's not me. There are not a lot of others in our field willing to talk about finances. Love from Toronto, Canada, Megan M. Thanks so much, Megan,

I love being social workers together. From afar Ah. That's so good talking about finances. We also want to thank our friends who share these episodes on social media. So when you share the latest episode and tag us on Facebook or Instagram, we're adding you to our monthly drawing. For every five tags and reviews we get each month, we give away one copy of the Frugal Friends workbook,

which you've been listening. If you've been listening, that that actually means like two copies, because one copy comes with two downloads. So you're welcome deals. So keep leaving us reviews on iTunes and Stitcher and sending those screenshots to Frugal Friends Podcasts at gmail dot com, and don't forget to tag us on social We'll see it from the social media site. See you next week byse. Frugal Friends is produced, edited and mixed by Eric Seria. So today's

my birthday. Happy birthday, Thank you. That is what I wanted. That is like the only reason to tell somebody that it's your birthday is like for them to be like, oh, my weird happy birthday. You're amazing and beautiful and you're finally you're joining me at thirty one. Such a weird number. Right, it's a I got a vacuum for my thirty one day. I do need a vacuum, but that's not what I want. Um, I got a house, and I feel like that's gonna be like my birthday present, Christmas present for like the

next five years. Every time Eric buys something for the house, it's going to be like, here you go, happy birthday, Like oh, we screened in the porch, Happy birthday. I mean, I'll look thenestly because I do want those things. So I'll take it. If he's putting an effort and like building me things and making my house more beautiful, I'm on board. However, you and I were looking at these like house slippers the other day, which is it's such like a luxury that I probably don't need. But these

foloors are so hard. I'm a custom luxury house slippers are just short. I'm accustomed to walking on like hardwood floors or carpet, but down here, man, you guys just basically have concrete cement floors, and it's taking a toll on my feet and my body slippers down here in Florida, and I found these really cool leather slippers. Well, we don't know. That's where I take it too far, but maybe I'll get them for myself for my birthday. Yeah, you can always get something like what was this charge,

and we'll be like something for the house. You know, new house costs, renovations, Am I right? L