Episode three oh four is episode one seventy five Psychological Hacks for sticking to your budget. Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and liver life.
Here your host Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and we are excited to bring you another rerun in the lead up to my delivery rerun and giving birth again.
Yes again, we're doing a do over. Yeah, we kept the first one. Kai, he's great, he We're so good.
We're doing it again. We're going to replay just like this episode. You guys loved it so much, we are playing it again for everyone who didn't have the opportunity to hear it two years ago. So and in these last two years, you guys have really made it clear that the psychology behind action is really what you like hearing from us, and it is what we have brought into a lot of episodes. So that is kind of thanks to this episode.
Yes, but first, this episode is brought to you by rolling over kind of like being pushed over, but less
violent and very different from being a pushover. Rolling over is what happened to the monkeys in the bed, and while it didn't work out too well for them, We've got a version of rolling over that doesn't bump you in the head, and it's called capitalize, where you can roll over your old four oh one K or other employer retirement account for free at Frugal friendspodcast dot com slash capitalize roll over that old employer retirement account.
Okay, two things. First, monkeys were jumping on the bed and.
The little one said rollover, roll over, and so they rolled over and they fell out of the bed and they bumped their head. Are those two different songs? And in the bed and the little one said rollover, But.
They're two different songs. Two different songs. Yeah, those two different songs. Second, is that rolling over a four to one K is actually really difficult, even if you are very familiar with your vanguards and your fidelity website. So definitely utilize Capitalize. It's free and it will help you gain back control of any employer accounts out there, retirement accounts out there.
We're gonna just circle back to this monkey's in the bed and the other beds we cannot take up more time, Okay, we will later figure this out.
If you are interested in the psychology behind action of sticking to your budget, then we have several other really great episodes that we've aired since this originally came out. So we've got episode two seventy three, why you keep self sabotaging your budget and how to stop. And we say budget but really just because that's a term that most people relate to. This is really any action or really more specifically your spending, because it's not your budget
but like dictates your success, it's your actions. So and then also episode two twenty six, Save Smarter, not Harder, how to stick with your financial plan. That was another one of y'all's favorites.
Yeah, these are all really great.
Yeah they are so que those up two seventy three, two twenty six, listen to those next and without further ado, roll over, don't pump your head. So we have a few kind of bigger named articles today. Sometimes we try and get the really good juicy like smaller blogs that can say whatever they want. But today we're sticking with a Forbes and a vox dot com. So this first one is from Forbes, and it's it's short, but it's good. It is cognitive science tips for sticking to your budget?
What do you think of this one, Jill.
It's great, Like you said, it's short and sweet. And to give a little background too on why Jen and I like to look at this topic because I'm sure if you've been listening to this podcast long enough, you've heard some of these themes come out of Emotionally, Yeah, cognitive pieces behind the decisions that we make, and again we are whole people. But also my background isn't mental health, so this is definitely something that I went about. This
is the beautiful blend of our friendship. I think of talking about finances and how all that intersects with our mental, emotional, relational, spiritual health as well. So that's just a brief background on why are they talking about psychology, But again because it's matters. That's why our.
Brains are the ones that spend. We don't go into things just like Nope, nobody makes us spend money on most things. Like we decide to spend money, and sometimes we spend money and we regret it. We spend money and things we don't want and we're.
Like, why did I do that?
Why can't I stick to a budget? I made the budget. Yeah, and these are the reasons why. Yeah, this is what we're looking at.
I appreciate that the article started out by talking about some of the overspending that we've been seeing through the pandemic, So it's even relevant. I mean, it's always relevant of we as humans can struggle with overspending, but particularly through
the pandemic. I think there was a lot of what they term some comfort spending, which we turn to, we turn to any level of coping mechanism, and for some of us it can bring just that feel good thing to buy something that I want to have, some instant gratification, something new, something cool, And so recognizing that and kind of where that comes from is part of this part
of the cognitive science behind why we spend. And so we'll just go through all of the things that they list might be leading to overspending or not sticking to budgets or not sticking to our goals, because I think all of them are useful.
Yeah, and I like that it refers to it as cognitive science research because we don't always I mean, we don't think of our spending and our budgeting in terms of cognitive science. So I love and I'm like a geek for stuff like this too, So I love that the first one was recognizing and combating decision. So decision fatigue refers to how carefully analyzing all the various pros and cons takes effort. We make thousands of little micro decisions a day, and every decision you make wears you
down little by little. After you make choice after choice, and by the end of the day, our willpower reserves have dried up, and that is decision fatigue. And so that's why a lot of times you can find yourself very successful in sticking to a diet or sticking to a budget or something for the first two thirds of the day. But it's that last third typically when we get to dinner time where it becomes really hard and
all of our progress goes out the window. That is in part due to decision fatigue, and that's why we say you have to set yourself up for success after work, that's the most important part. That's where the meal planning, the meal prep and all of that comes into place.
I think the same can be said throughout a week too. By the time we reach Friday, we can be exhausted and everything can go out the window on the weekend, so you name it. We have and another way to term this would be capacity. We do not have unlimited emotional, relational, mental capacity, and at some point we're going to reach our capacity. There's land mines all over that. Sometimes we do well to discover that before we hit one of those land mines, and sometimes we don't. End it leads
to overspending. But recognizing we're not unlimited and how to put in some of these helps along the way for us so that we can be operating within our capacity. That's going to be one of the things that's going to help us towards those those financial goals is recognizing decision fatigue and knowing then how to handle it.
Yeah. So, I mean that's a big reason why you see, like you know, the tech billionaires, the Steve Jobs and those people like wear the same thing every day is because they've been taught this decision fatigue by whoever their mentors are, and they just take different decisions off the table. I put out a week of clothes for my son on Sunday, so in the mornings I never have to
wonder what he's gonna wear. It's already like stacked there by his bed, and so what are It's not just meal planning, but like look at your life and figure out what are the things throughout the day you can do, especially after work, that can take decisions off of your plate.
No decision is too small to be taken off your plate, because we're looking all the way down at micro decisions, and so the fewer decisions we have to make, obviously the bigger ones take more effort, cause more fatigue, but we're even looking at taking some of those micro decisions off of our plates too. So that's a big thing
to be aware of in your life. And look at what are the things I can plan ahead for on Saturday or Sunday take those things off of my plate, Or what are things I can be doing Wednesday Thursday to take decisions off my plate Saturday Sunday. If that is where you struggle more with with your overspending.
I've noticed I do so much better eating at home if I just have a written list of the food that I can eat for lunch and dinner. It doesn't even have to be a full on Monday, I'm making this, but to even have it written down of you have these options available to you between your fridge and your freezer and just seeing it takes out, yeah, some of that decision fatigue and where I might then just go and say let's just order out. Well, no, you have stuff.
Here's what it is like. Those simple things are helpful.
That's so great, and that's great for people who like, quote unquote hate planning or hate a rigid meal plan. If you just make a list, these are the things that I can make and just pick one.
Yeah, exactly. The next one on this list is to not be tempted with introductory offers. So the cognitive science part of this would be the things that are appealing to us that look good and shiny, and marketers know this of how can we rope people in too overspending. They're primarily talking about credit card companies and how they will often offer this really low or zero percent apy financing only to get you out with very high APRS in the future, and that might not be the case
maybe for all of our listeners. Maybe it's something else, but I feel like this could be applied across the board. It's not just credit cards trying to rope you in. I mean, this is where we could think subscriptions, Oh xyz is free for the first seven days, but then they all they get you to input your credit card information, so then they're automatically charging you after that and we forget to go back in and cancel. So just being
aware of the fine print in any situation. Of course, our eyes can glaze over with fine print, but that shouldn't be a reason that we find ourselves overspending. We really need to have a better handle on what is this really offering? What's the catch? Will is this actually useful and valuable to me? Will I actually take advantage of this? Or am I falling for a marketing tactic right now? Yeah?
What this one made me think of, we're lost leaders. So companies, yeah, offering you the free seven day trial, or offering you the free ice cream if you come into the store, the five dollars chicken at Costco, and so these are things that will get you into a store or onto a mailing list that don't even make the company money. But when if you take an action with a company, you're warming up to that company, so it becomes easier for you to walk through the doors
again or to open another email. And so the more you do those micro actions, those micro interactions with a company, the more comfortable you become and the more likely you become to spend money with them. And so while free stuff is great, we highly highly recommend free trials and getting what you can from companies. Don't be temp like, don't take those for granted. Those are marketing tactics, and
so they also bank on the concept of reciprocity. So if I do something for you, you're more likely to do something for me. And so know that that's a marketing tactic. You're not obligated to do something for any company no matter what they've given you. It is their choice to do that. And so with these introductory offers a marketing tactic. Just be aware of what the tactic is so you can be more empowered to overcome it.
So the last one on here, like we said, real short but real, I mean packs a punch, is to avoid envy inducing social media channels. So that's your friends on Facebook, your Instagram, influencers that you love to follow. Social media can be such a great place. It has brought such relationships together as my husband and I, as Jill and I, but it can also be a really dangerous place and cause a lot of envy and just like wishing not people are not even being malicious when
they're doing these things. They're just very excited for themselves. And you're over here like I'm trying to reach a goal and that's out of my budget, but I want that jacket so bad.
But look at how fun that vacation' looks. Yeah, I'll even add to this. Social media has just become a big old ad. Most of what you're seeing as ads, if not like blatant ads where you know this is just a sponsored post. But even a lot of those people, sometimes your friends are selling something, whether they themselves are selling something, or they have partnered with a company selling something.
Whether some of those people that you're following on Instagram that you think are like living a really cool RV lifestyle, they're trying to sell you something they've partnered with somebody check it out in their hashtags, like as fun as those pictures are to look at. I would venture to say only about five percent of people are you actually just keeping up with what's happening in their lives, and
they're not actually an ad for you. And even then if they're posting just about their lives, chances are they're posting the best part of their lives that could be envy inducings. So no matter what you do, that scroll is just trying to get your money, so beware.
Yeah, that is it is dangerous. And I have definitely purchased things that I've seen on Instagram and TikTok. Oh, I'm not beyond it. And we're absolutely not against marketing or the cool things. I mean, TikTok taught me pesto eggs and you know, like praises because that's delicious.
But pesto eggs, Oh.
It's you use instead of oil, you use pesto too, and you put the pesto in the pan and then break the egg on the pesto. Yeah, and then you put it over some sour dough. Sometimes people have put like avocado or ricotta. So it's it's delicious and you just have to make sure it's in your budget. Like that's what we're talking about. Spend with your values, Spend on what you want to spend on it. Just make sure it's what you really want to spend and not what you feel like you should spend or you feel
like you want to spend. Don't trust your feelings. Trust your values.
Do the scroll, just make sure it's mindful. M hmm. Absolutely, And basically, I think in summary with this article, they're saying they're advocating for us understanding our own thoughts and feelings behind what might be leading us to overspend or not stick to our quote unquote budget. It could be a variety of things. It could be that our budget isn't realistic, or we do have a tendency to buy
when we're sad, you name it. But we're not going to actually be able to change our behaviors if we're not looking at the thoughts and feelings leading to that. So a little bit of mental health counseling background for you. Many of you will be familiar with this concept. It's a cognitive behavioral therapy CBT for short, concept that our
thoughts lead to feelings lead to behaviors. This cycle thought. First, we have the thought, which then gives us some sort of feeling or emotion inside of us, which then leads to the behavior. And a lot of times we will try to hit something at the behavior level and it totally misses the mark. We have to understand what comes before it. If we're going to want to change the behavior, So taking some steps backward and saying, well, what was the thought that I had here? Even drawing it out?
I will have folks in my counseling sessions actually draw it out. What thought did you have? Then? What feeling did that produce? Then? What was the behavior? And if you want to seek to change the behavior, you're going to have to interrupt it, hopefully at the thought level.
It can be interrupted at the feeling level too, but ideally we get to the point where we can snatch it at the thought level, adjust the thought around, which then will change the feeling and it will change the behavior into something more evantageous and beneficial for us.
I hope you got that. If you didn't catch all that, then you know, go back fifteen seconds because that was gold.
Thank you, Jin, thank you.
All right, So let's move on to our next article from Fox dot com, and it's five sneaky mental tricks to spend less while shopping And I liked every single one of these and all of the little graphics that go with them. Fox just really does it. So, Jill, what did you think of this one?
Yeah? It was a visually pleasing article. And they use the term behavioral economics. So for those of you who want just more research and more on these kinds of topics, these are the types of things you can be searching for. What does behavioral economics have to do with this? What does cognitive science have to do with this? Those are some good keyword searches.
Richard Faylor is a really good author of behavioral economics expert, so anything by him it will be good.
Yeah. And so they sort this article out by saying that behavioral economics can teach us a lot about why we tend to neglect our budgets or overspend. One theory that can stick out from behavioral economics is the present bias, meaning we will often value the present gratification over the long term. They reference the marshmallow research Yes test, that's the word thank you, which I don't know if you've seen it, Jen, I think there's that magician Magic for Humans.
I use that one all the time.
It's so good. I mean, first of all, it's just such a fun show. If you haven't checked it out, check it out Magic for Humans. And he does this test with like toddler and young kids, which is just so funny of offering them a marshmallow now or two marshmallows later, and some of them you can see, it's so cute, they like hold out and then others are like, I want this thing now, like they eat it, but then they try and hide the fact that they ate it.
But we're no different from those toddlers trend. Yeah exactly, Yeah, that we even though we can rationally say it's going to be more advantageous to me and my future self if I let this thing grow and have greater benefit in the future, but I want my marshmallow right now. I want this good thing right now, because we do we favor our present selves over our future selves. I'm not my future self right now. I'm my present self
right now, and I want to treat myself. And so just even recognizing that can help interrupt some of those patterns.
That show is so great uses a lot of these psycho logical techniques.
That is magic. You have to know people and human behavior in order to trick that. Yeah.
So another one of my favorites of his is that he's talking to people and he's like, I can guess which actor you're thinking of, and so he has he says this and like nah, and he has a conversation with them and then asks them to think of an actor, and he shows them what he's written down before he even started the conversation, and without fail, all of them
say Tom Hanks. And he wrote down Tom Hanks. And the reason he was able to get them to all say Tom Hanks is because throughout the conversation he was just dropping particular words or concepts or ideas from different Tom Hanks movies, So like Castaway toys, story, all of these things to make them think of Tom Hanks movies. And so it was so crazy because that's also a
marketing technique. So luxury marketers will use in their marketing more luxury focused words verbiage to make you feel like you deserve luxury, like that's what you are accustomed to and can afford, whether it is true or not. So that's also, yeah, marketers use that all over the place.
We've got to combat these magic tricks with our own magic tricks. I know you said it's not about tricks, but it might be.
It might be.
Yeah, tricks are for kids and maybe for adults.
Yeah, so let's dive into somebody's tricks. The first one is to never go shopping without a list, And this might seem so old fashioned, but it is so effective, and it's not like a cash envelope system that's like very inconvenient. Shopping with the list is very convenient. It's, you know, not the most convenient, but it is still convenient, and it just helps you so much to avoid impulse buies.
Not only does it help impulse bies, it helps me when I'm at the store not forget something and have to come back to the store. So as I run out of something, I just have a running list on my phone. And actually Eric and I are taking it to the next level where I'm making a checklist like a Google Sheets checklist or a Google checklist. I guess is what it is, and then I share it with him.
So if we're at the store together and we really want to be efficient with our time, we both have access to the checklist and we're able to check it off, so we're able to keep up with each other knowing, oh, he already got this. I don't need to text him or call him and let him know I already got the toilet paper, headed to the frozen food. It's like, I know, wow, my phone. We're trying to hack our whole lives. But it helps, yeah, to be when you're shopping.
It helps to not forget things, and then it helps keep you from buying things you don't need.
Yeah, that would be effective. Like when Travis will go to the grocery store just randomly for something, He's like, you need anything from the grocery store and like, I don't know. Yes, you can share a list and then you know exactly what you need at the grocery store.
The next one on this list is to double check that you are in fact getting the best value. So this could mean you are at the store, you see something that is already on your list and you want to know. The first thing could be, well, I'm just going to go get this, but we would strongly encourage you to do a quick search on your phone, thank goodness for smartphones, and make sure that that is the best deal that you can purchase it for or even if it's possible that you could get that thing used.
So just make sure even if it's on your list, you know I need this. This has been something I've had my eyes on for a while. Make sure that the store that you're at is going to give you the best deal.
Yeah, I like that. They mentioned bulk shopping. People tend to overspend and wearhouse stores, and bulk shopping is not the enemy. You just have to make sure a you're not buying bulk for the sake of buying bulk, because it typically is a better deal, but you have to make sure it's only on things that you really need or will benefit from buying in bulk. And then also actually do check the price per unit, because if it's just a few cents, it may not be worth buying
in bulk, especially if it's something that's perishable. So this is really something to consider if you are a bulk shopper or prefer bulk buying.
Yes, I had noticed I recently did that the bulk price on just some window cleaner was so much better. I would say it was like thirty percent less expensive than if I were to have bought like two bottles of window cleaner. And it was actually preferred for me
because I have my own spray bottles. So now this could just act like a refill for the entire house, rather than needing to get individual bottles from the store and keep them in the different rooms bathrooms, kitchen, laundry room throughout the house, just refill it with that, And it's also reducing waste because now I have one container rather than three containers that I've bought. So yeah, sometimes it is just even when you're at the store, even if it doesn't mean I've got to go to a
different store, are you getting the best value? Which, like you said, are you using it too? We don't just want to become hoarders because it's a better price.
Absolutely. So the third on this list is to don't shop when you're feeling emotional. So this is so huge, I'm going to just read this first line right here. More than seven to ten people consider their finance as a source of stress, according to a Capital One survey of more than two thousand respondents in the US. If you're among them, be especially conscious when you're spending, since your emotions may further cloud your judgment. Isn't this that's
a vicious cycle. Money makes us stress, stress makes us shop, shopping reduces our liquid cash, and then it's and then all over again stressful.
Yeah. Yeah, it is a vicious cycle.
So yeah, I think one way you can combat this is to again be prepared so you don't have to make as many decisions when you're stressed, because that increases
decision fatigue exponentially. So make a list of things self care, things you can do when you're feeling different types of emotions, so not just negative emotions, but positive emotions too, because sometimes we can shop to celebrate, but what are the things that you're going to do when you're feeling sad, What are the things you're going to do when you're feeling mad, What are the things you're going to do when you're feeling like really joyful or happy, And so
you have things to do other than shop to celebrate or deal with these emotions. And they don't have to be like, you know, schedule a call with your therapist. They don't have to even be effective, but just something you can do real quick, instant gratification, like so that you're not running to the store to you know, blow off steam or whatever with an emotion.
And already having a list for when you're in the moment again helps remove some of those barriers of decision fatigue or being able to problem solve that in the moment when you are excited or you are sad. So just having a list, even though it's very simple, it's like I know these things already, just having them in front of you, something you can look at. Okay, what thing on this list can I do? You're more likely to do it if the barrier to that entry is taken away.
And it can eliminate some guilt too, I think, because we want to be we want to be efficient, and we want to be like healthier in all these areas. But when you're trying to change a habit, and this is you know, not a habit, but this is similar. When you're trying to change a habit, you need to replace it with something that's equal in kind of level, so to speak. And so if you are turning to shopping when you have an emotion, you need to think
of something that's on the same level as that. Not necessarily like when I'm you know, celebrating a raise, I'm going to give a thousand dollars to charity, that's a different level. You know, you need to think of something small that's on the same level as shopping that you can replace shopping with. So we're not trying to make like, you know, become leaps and bounds better people, just a little something that's on the same level as shopping to replace that emotional outlet with.
And I appreciate the spectrum that you described here because I'll be honest to hear this line when I first read this article. There's a part of me that wants a little bit of pushback on this. You know, don't shop when you feel emotional. Almost we can use this word emotional in a very negative way. It often is associated negatively, like you're just being emotional. You know, it's
a way to kind of discount people. And so I like that you describe jen the spectrum either when we're happy or sad, and we know that there's other more complicated emotions than those two, but that's, you know, a little bit of the spectrum. I would maybe offer an
alternative vernacular to this of maybe feeling emotionally vulnerable. So in a position where you know, I, because of X y Z again, whether happy or sad or somewhere in the middle, I am more vulnerable to making some of these decisions that might derail some of my goals or things that are actually going to be benefit me. Knowing our vulnerabilities will help us to be able to protect them.
There's nothing wrong with vulnerability. Vulnerability is beautiful. It's part of the human condition, but knowing and recognizing our vulnerability and being able to care for ourselves in the midst of it move towards protection of vulnerability. I know I've said this SoundBite before, but I'll say it again because I think it's relevant here. Vulnerability without protection leads to exploitation. I'll say it again because I do think that this
is something even worth like writing down. Vulnerability without protection leads to exploitation, meaning that if we don't move to protect these areas of vulnerability inside of ourselves, they will be exploited in us. An example of that would be I was sad there was no protection for me. I went to the coping mechanism that most made sense, and I spent my entire grocery budget for the month. Right,
that would be an exploitation. There's other areas that we can talk about related to that, and of course there's so many deeper implications, but as far as talking about our budgets, this still remains true. And again, it's not about removing our vulnerability, it's about moving to protect it. So, like you said, Jen, creating that list of go to things that we can do happy or sad that are going to be beneficial for us that are not going
to derail us from our hopes, goals and dreams. When we're in those emotionally vulnerable states.
Absolutely, so so much wisdom right there. And that's exactly where my head went when you started. I was like, yes, the vulnerability without protection leads to exploitation, and it is so relevant here, all right. So number four is to sleep on it before purchasing large items. And so this is just a good rule of thumb. I remember a few months ago, by the time this comes out, I was for something for my business, got a really big price tag for something, and it was very stressful because
I thought I needed it. I thought that it was the only way forward for me, but it seemed very out of my budget, and so I had to sleep on it. After I cried quite a bit about it, and then I slept on it. And then I was I slept off that decision fatigue, because I'm sure a lot I know. I was exhausted when I went to sleep because I had all of these micro decisions running through my head about this purchase that I thought I
should make. And when it's for your business, you can kind of justify it a little bit more than when it's for yourself. But yeah, I think it might be the same for kids. So I went to bed, and I woke up the next day and I was much more level headed about it and ended up thinking of or reaching out to find alternatives that were more affordable for me and went with one of those. But I didn't that reaching out to find alternatives wasn't even on my mind when I was so stressed. So for sure,
sleeping sleep is sacred. I love sleep, do it.
Sometimes sleep is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Yeah, and I won't get two into the weeds on this, but when we are able to enter into that RAM cycle, the rapid eye movement, it's like the specific and deepest point of sleep in our sleep cycle that we have, and it is necessary for actual rest of our bodies and like rejuvenation of things. When we're able to get into that RAM cycle, it does help. The reason that we can wake up and think more clearly is for
what can happen in our brains as we sleep. Again, I'm not going to get two into the weeds or the science behind it. Just know that sleep is helpful for our thought patterns, our memory, formation it sleep allows us, specifically when we're in that RAM cycle, to be able to put things in correct files in our brain. So yes, for many, many reasons, it's good to be able to sleep on it and wake up refreshed and rejuvenated. We're not going to make the best decisions when we're sleep deprived,
but especially if we're feeling really uncertain about something. Usually there's nothing so urgent that we can't put a night of rest in between us and our final decision. Absolutely, and the final one on this is number five. To say no to sales unless the item is already on your list. So we already did allude to this, but you are not saving money if you're spending money. It doesn't matter how inexpensive that item is, how on sale
it is compared to what it typical goes for. If you don't need it, if it's not on your list, if it's not something you've had opportunity to sleep on, say no to it. No red yellow sticker is alluring enough to get you away from your savings and spending goals, So absolutely lost something.
Isle of shame shoppers all defines it's so dangerous looking in the mirror.
Again, if it's something you needed of I already needed a beach chair. Thank you all defines for giving me one the far less expensive than I thought that I would ever get it. Fantastic, but no, thank you. Shee's its explosions. That was never on my list.
Jesus explosions. It shouldn't be on anybody's list.
It does sound good, though, but I already have cheddar goldfish at home.
Oh snacks, Yeah, I mean. The marketers again will use this tactic. They will use percentages off versus amount of money off because percentages can be higher than amount of money and studies have shown that if something is, you know, twenty percent off versus twenty dollars off, even if twenty dollars is a higher percentage, people tend to go with
the twenty percent off. If things are similar because we're just a custom to, or even thirty percent off, thirty percent off is less than twenty dollars off, people will still go for the percentage one because it's a bigger number, and so the store makes more money because they're giving you less than twenty dollars off. You think you're getting a better deal because you see that thirty number. But yeah,
it's just not true. If you didn't need the item, if it's not on your list, you are not saving money. And I'm so sorry. There are some people out there that just love to find a deal like that is their like their core values. They love to be on the hunt. But you can figure out you don't have to give up that value. Just think of another way to live it out. It doesn't have to be in purchasing things, at least for yourself. There are tons of things you can hunt for, so get creative.
Just not people. Don't hunt for people.
Oh yeah, don't do that.
You know. You know what's a better idea to do with your time?
Oh yeah, that you can really channel your energy into whoever you are the bella.
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week.
Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams. Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your card died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Best bills, but blow bills, Bill clan. This is the bill of the week.
Hi, Jen and Jill, This is Laura from New York. My bill of the week is my target credit card bill. I finally paid it off. I got it in twenty thirteen and have always held a balance on it, sometimes even close to maxing it out, and since we bought our house last summer, I've held a pretty high balance on it, and my goal was to pay that off first. So I have paid it off and closed the account and opened a Target debit card because I still need
that five percent discount. So super excited to finally get that one paid off and stop impulse shopping at Target all the time. Thank you so much for the podcast. You guys are awesome.
Yes, Laura, we do not listen to these before we play them. I just for the million time. But it's so perfect, how so perfect.
Congruent and relevant to what we're talking about, not only the decision that you made for yourself to pay it off and not have that lingering over you, but to set up barriers to experiencing this again in the future where you have debt on a Target credit card to connect it to the debit card, which is a specific tip and trick for Target. You can still get that five percent discount with a Target debit card. It does not have to be their credit card. So well done.
Putting now a barrier in between you and where you know your vulnerabilities are protecting that vulnerability. Laura, well done, we're celebrating with you.
Yes, if you want to submit your bill of the week, please visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill to leave us a bill.
And now it's time for.
So today we are talking psychology tricks we personally use to keep from overspending that kind of share some of our triggers and how we get creative in overcoming them. So, Jill, you have a list.
I got a list, I got sent and tricks baby girls.
Start start give them to me. Please.
Well, for those of you who have listened for a while, you know that spending isn't necessarily my area of difficulty. I am between Eric and I. I am more the savor. However, that's not to say that I am immune to impulse buyes. So here we go. I do not scroll shopping sites for entertainment, so you're not going to find me on Amazon or cute bathing suit websites or even Facebook Marketplace like. I do not go on to Facebook Marketplace just for like a fun scroll to see what people are selling
in the area. I go on if I'm looking for something specific. I didn't realize was a tip until like I just started talking to other people and realizing, oh, a lot of people will just like I'm bored or I'm procrastinating, let me look on my favorite site and see, like what kind of deals they got going on. So I just don't do that. I avoid it. I also just like avoid going to the store. So if that tip can help you, great, find something else to look
up online. You know, it doesn't mean that you can't be on the internet, but maybe research something that you're curious about. I've gotten real curious about honeybees. So much interesting information there, So if you want to get started somewhere, just you know, learn more about honeybees. Also, my next tip, shop the perimeter of the grocery store. I stay out of the middle. The middle is where typically most of the unnecessary items are shopping. The perimeter gets me my fruit, veggies, bread,
dairy products, and that's out. All I need to live off of meat. Yeah right, those are the basics. Those are the nutritional pieces that I need.
But not your wavy lace.
However, you will catch me getting some chips and getting some frozen pizza. Okay, I am still human. You might find me down those aisles, but in general, I'm just in the perimeter. That helps. Also, I do a review of my cart. I'm talking about physical shopping at this point. If I am physically shopping, I physically have a cart, I do a review of it before check out of Okay, is there anything in here that it just kind of like looked cool but now at second glance, like I
don't actually need this thing? And so this this blends into my next tip, which is a self check. I do a do I need it? Can I make it? Can I find it less expensive? Those are some of my go to decision tree questions that I ask myself and a lot of times that can help me weed out. Also, I have found patients. Patience is a virtue. We know that, but if I can be patient on something usually that does allow me to have like get the deal, but also just to be looking around at all the different
places for that thing. And because I've had a list as I'm out and about, I'm able to keep checking. Like when I say I have a list, I have a grocery list, and then I also have a here's what's on my radar to purchase for the home list. It does not mean I need it right now. It does not mean the next time I go to the store, I'm getting that thing. It's just a helpful reminder when I am at the store. Oh do I happen to
come across this thing? Is it a good deal? Is the price point that I was hoping to pay for it? Just as an example, we've known the type of dishwasher
that we want to get for our kitchen. It's been on our radar, but we know we don't want to pay full price for it, so we've just been keeping an eye on it anytime we're at Low's or home Depot or sometimes you know, we'll check out the dented appliances anyhow, long story short, we've just been patient and I caught it in the clearance aisleway in the back back of Lows for like sixty percent off, and we were able.
To snag That was a steal for you.
Yeah, but it's because we've been in our house for a full year and we're just waiting on the dishwasher we want. In the meantime, I've been the dishwasher got really good forearm strength because of it. And finally, here's my final trick is if I feel stressed, like I've learned to assess and evaluate and know what some of the signals inside my body mean. This might sound dramatic, but sometimes I can feel stressed, a little sweaty, a little uneasy inside myself when I'm about to make a purchase.
I have learned don't ignore that, don't just push through it. It's usually a sign I'm not at peace about buying that thing. I don't actually want to buy it. I feel so much more relief putting it back on the shelf and walking out the door. So just paying attention to that and not being like, no, no, no, I think I wanted I think I really want to buy it, and allowing that adrenaline to kind of move me towards
the purchase. I've worked towards allowing it to move me away from the purchase, and I've not been disappointed yet.
Nice. What about for you, Jen, Well, my list is a little shorter, so I used so when we were paying off debt, I definitely was triggered by the social media thing. We were newlyweds and a lot of our friends were newlyweds, and so you know, I mean, if
you've been around newlyweds. You know what happens that two income household comes in and you getting new cars, you buying a house, upgrading your wardrobe, taking a vacation, And so it felt like all of my friends were doing that during the two year span that we were paying off debt, and so I was either get off of face, like either I leave or you leave. And I wasn't leaving because Facebook was all I had. So I had to unfollow quite a few friends that are good friends.
They are still to this day, my very good friends. I just didn't want to see what they were doing. I didn't want it to be clear.
Unfollowing on social media is different from cutting someone off, right, and really, don't.
You no longer see those things in your news feed unless you intentionally go to that person's profile and you can turn it off and follow them again, which I do so because you know, I want them to see my vacation photos now.
No, the life I've been able to have now that I'm deaf free.
Yeah, but so I had to do that. I had no shame, and I still, I mean tell people like you can do that. That's an option. You can unfollow somebody. So if they follow you, they'll never know that you don't follow them. So that's a key thing that I've learned. And so now I don't use that method. But I I'm really cognizant of decision fatigue and helping my brain make the best decisions possible for as long as possible, because I have realized I'm lazy. Like, straight up, you.
Are the least lazy person on the pool.
When it's things I don't care about, I'm super lazy. If it's something I care about, like, I will work my fingers to the bone. I hurt my pointer finger last week, like no clicking on the mouse, the clicking one. It went numb last week, Jill.
Yeah, I will work my fingers to literally because yeah, you were like you no longer feel the tip of my finger.
And so if I care about it, it's fine. But if it's not something that is you know, aligned with my highest values, I am disgustingly lazy. Usually you can ask Travis. So I have to put as many systems in place to make you know decisions better. So one of the main things for me is avoiding physical clutter so that I can have more space for cognitive energy.
That's a big thing for me, clutter. I grew up in a clean home because my dad was a clean freak, and when he died, the house just kind of went to like cluttered, horder ruin and so like I kind of have like PTSD from that, and that stresses me out. And so now I realized that, So my house is not always clean and uncluttered, but I have like fewer things in it so it doesn't get as messy and cluttered because I have a two year old, like, and
you know, cleaning is not my core value. So I just put those barriers into place and bring as few things into my house as possible so that that level of mess and clutter never gets to a level that stresses me out and makes me like unable to make wise decisions.
I think this is probably the case for a lot of people. I definitely am not going to say everybody, but our physical space does bear weight on our mental capacities, emotional capacities, relational capacities, and so even keeping a pulse on how your environment is impacting you and then what steps can you make to be able to free up some of that, because it is going to make a difference, and it's going to impact all of these other areas, so you're definitely not alone in that. That is a
really helpful insight. I think.
Yeah, so that's I mean, that's the end of my list.
That's a good one though, you picked the good ones. Yeah, I just say I shop the perimeter of the grocery store.
I geek out on this, like spending psychology, like not all of psychology in general, but just spending psychology. I am a nerd. Yeah, I can research it and click my finger to the bone about it. Well, we hope you enjoyed that one as much the second time around as you did the first time around.
Jen, I hope currently, as this episode is airing, you are enjoying your your second time around of having a baby, maybe not more than the first time around, it equally as much.
Enjoy isn't the word I would describe the first six weeks, but I hope I'm making it.
Do you find that in those first few weeks slash months it is harder to not spend money? Like? Does this psychological trick thing play into what you need to consider? I think part of it.
So this is actually a good point when you're talking about using psychological tricks or hacks or just the understanding of how your brain works. Your brain has to be functioning, and so that requires sleep, It requires rest. So there are seasons where you kind of just have to give in to the season. And we believe like you should be living in every season, not fighting against the season you're in. And the first six weeks after giving birth is no season to expect yourself to.
Be making shooting on all cylinder, right.
Yes, So if you are prepared with some of these going in and they're already like habits, they're automations almost, then yeah, like, I'm not going out and impulse buying crazy things when I'm tired and stressed. But if I can't get the baby to sleep and the car ride is the only thing, then best believe I'm gonna hit up like three different drive throughs and just get fries at all of them. And that is that's called self care, Yeah,
and that's what we do. So, yeah, that's a good point to make sure that the season, if you want to take advantage of the things in this episode, you also need to be taking care of your brand mind. Yeah.
Yeah, And sometimes it's easier than other times. Sometimes there's just a reality to the season and you're not gonna be as on top of it. Mm hmm, that's okay.
Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. We know many of you are working to stick to your budget so that you can pay off debt. We actually have a monthly membership for that where we do monthly money challenges. We offer accountability groups, and we want to congratulate one of our members for a big one. This one's from Jessica. She says, back when you aired the episode about unclaimed money, I went and looked for myself, my husband and siblings.
My husband got a bunch back previous military way back when, and got another check today for five thousand dollars and we needed it since we just paid for the boys summer camp.
That's amazing, Jessica. It's your money. It's not like, oh yeah, there's like bonus money. It's money that's unclaimed for one reason or another. Sometimes it's money that has been like an inheritance, but they whoever was managing the will wasn't able to get it into the right hand. Sometimes it's just like a utility bill you overpaid for in a previous state and you had already moved and changed your
address and they couldn't get it to you. Like, there's so many reasons, and I cannot tell you the amount of times we've heard from people like this worked for them. Every time we talk about it, someone news like, I wonder if I've got unclaimed money.
Yeah, I had an insurance premium that was owed back to me. And it sounds like the military might owe some people some money. So congrats Jessica. If you listening, want to check out our membership, and I guess that Wind's not exclusive to just our members, but we're very glad that we get to chat with Jessica and hear about her wins. If you want to share your wins and have a few extra head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club. Check out the Frugal Friends Club.
We got courses, interviews, challenges, all kinds of good stuff and friends.
See you next time.
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. All right, Jill do yeah, two different songs Monkeys jumping on the bed, and then I guess you have one from monkeys rolling over, So you were right. I guess I don't know. I don't know what was rolling over.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Mama called the doctor. The doctor said, no more monkeys jumping on the bed?
Is the That is the song I know? Okay, I don't know. The one rolling over?
How there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over and roll over. So they all rolled over, one fell out. There were nine in the bed. The little one said roll over.
Over, but there's an animal. Reference rolled over.
And one fell out. There were eight in the bed. But what are they? What are they? What are they that roll over? I guess the book that I saw they were all just a bunch of stuffed animals. And I think the book that I had read did at least have a monkey stuffed animal. But look at that it has blended to become one nursery roome. Apparently in my head all leading us to capitalize where you can roll over your four.
Wow, they should have really paid us to say that, because that was a lot of research we had to do.
What happened in my mind, you're the pregnant one and I'm over here blending ten in the bed with what's the title of the other one? Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
I mean it seems, yeah, they're gonna fault you for that.
They're falling, they're bumping their head. There's too many of them. They're chaotic. It's a very similar story. I'm not sure that I ever realized you've.
Got ten of anything in a bed.
Stop it, Okay, ten in the bed and then five little mon it's five monkeys. Five little monk is two two different songs. Yeah, I kind of don't fault myself for not knowing it was two different songs. And I kind of don't believe anybody who says like I knew all along, and I know all the differences between those two songs, like I.
Told you that, okay, the one with a child.
Okay, Oh, I am still confused, even with the troof.
In front of you, confused because you don't want to be wrong, and you're not confused. You understand that I'm confused.
By what happened in my head. And I'm like, still can confused that there's so many different nursery rhymes.
In order for us to use the psychology, yeah and take advantage of the shortcuts that our minds allow us, we have to have full capacities.
I don't think I'm well. I'm not well. I I don't know the difference between the monkeys.
You are tired, you just had you just had guests leave your house, like you've had people in your house.
At the time of recording, you all know Jenn's about to give birth. So we are stacking up these episodes, and we are recording this the day after the Super Bowl. And I'm not gonna lie. I am from Philadelphia. We are Eagles fans, and I was painted. I was ready for she was.
An Eagles fan, like a week ago.
I was ready. You could have assumed I was ready for the Eagles to take home that ring. And you know what else it is My last name is the same as the coach of the Eagles this year, Nick Sirianni. So there's a lot. There's a lot going for me. There was a lot riding on this. I brought you a let us down. And my voice is nearly gone, and I'm tired and so confused.
I brought you a condolence croissant.
Tell tell them what you told me, Jen told.
Okay, So there is four of you here, four Eagles fans, and I brought two condolence croissants because I did really feel bad. I'm not a fan of any team. Uh, and so I brought these croissants, but I only brought two because only winners get a full croissant. They had just had to split them.
So that was you know, you're lucky that I took it. I took it on the chin. I was concerned though, that one in the group might not be as an amicable.
She told me this, and I said, I'm willing to die for this joke. I'm willing to die to get the chance to say this one more time.
They wouldn't have killed you. They just might have like pushed you over, not rolled you over, pushed you over.
And from what I hear from Eagles.
Fans, we love doing that. Yeah. I love diming poles, tipping vehicles.
Setting things on fire, starting fires, whether you win or lose.
Yeah, there's just a lot of rage and opportunities to rage.
Yeah.
And I think it's more about the rage itself than the football.
Oh for sure, let's unpack that. Nope, see you later.