Episode four thirty four, Minimalism for Families with Don Madson.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life. Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are sharing the conversation we had with Don Madson, better known as the minimal Mom. And if you are a YouTube geek like I am, and a mom, then you've definitely seen her videos. She talks about minimalism specifically with a not a large family, but like a good sized family. She's got four kids,
and so it's very she's so relatable. She's like, definitely not one of those stoic minimalists that got rid of everything. That's like the YouTube thumbnails where you're seeing the person sitting in an empty room that says I got rid of all of my things. She's not that. She's just soun so relatable. Yeah, and this was a great conversation.
Yeah, very down to earth. And I love it when we get to have conversations about minimalism with fit people of families because I think so often when you talk about really anything finances, minimalism, these kind of decisions that might be a little bit more attainable in your younger years, or for people without children to be able to see another way of life, for those who have other ideas, perspectives, opinions, actions within the home, be able to say and yeah,
we're able to still work together towards this collective aim. Here's how it looks. Here's the ways that you can make it work for you and individualize it. I just love it. It helps, It helps. It'd be an option for us versus sequestering ourselves to thinking, well, now now that I have children, my life is chaos and that's just how it's going to be, and maybe it will be a bit of chaos, but we'll share some areas that you can choose differently.
She mentions the social norm of chaos in families, like how she went to the to the store and found the decor, like the thing that says a happy home has sticky floors and YadA YadA, And I was like, oh, that's gross. Uh, But like that has become the norm and there's no shame in that. Like the movement is seeking to erase shame and guilt from that but like, there is also another way, and Don is a pioneer
in sharing that way. But first, before we get to Don, this episode is brought to you by listeners like you. And I know we've had that sponsor before, but listeners like you. If you're listening to this episode on August twentyth, twenty twenty four, this episode is for you specifically and brought to you by you. And it doesn't really make sense, but you get it. If you're listening to this episode the day it comes out. You are our BFF, our
best frugal friend. And I know we have a lot of besties, but if Tommy Tugboat taught me anything in that children's book, it's that you can have multiple best friends. So we would be remiss if we didn't remind you that tonight is our pre order launch party because you or who we want to celebrate with. So the link to the party is in the friend letter if you get it. If you don't, then the zoom link is
Frugal Friends podcast dot com. Slash party takes you right to the zoom room and this is the only place you're going to be able to get that link because we're not sending out another friend letter before the party. So we hope to see you at seven pm Eastern Standard time to night for games, giveaways, great times, girls, other words that start with G giveaways.
Did you say that already, Jin, Yes, great times, you already said that.
Just show ups.
Mm hmm yeah, seven pm Eastern Standard time, will be there. I'm leading the games.
She is, she has already told me about them. I am so, so so excited. I might read an excerpt from a book that's not ours. I thought about that last night. But there's a children's book that I love that really does capture the heart of by what you love without going broke in.
My affinity for children's books is wearing off on you.
Oh I know, Well, I've had this Oh there's a story behind this book. I have had this book since before I even met Travis. I bought this book like I was a I was a young woman buying a children's book, and I've held on to it for fifteen years now, fifteen years. Yeah, I've had this book. So, yeah, I think I'm going to read a little expert excerpt to inspire you. But so, if you're interested in minimalism, then we have a lot of great episodes for you.
Episode two sixty six, we talk about sustainable minimalism with Stephanie Seferian, She's from the Sustainable Minimalist podcast, and we have episode four oh nine how to Simplify your life to save money. And we have an episode coming up with Shannon Ables from the Simply Luxurious Life that you are going to love, so stay on the lookout for that one. But Don Madson, she is known as the minimal Mom and her family has lived as minimalists for over nine years now. And her family not just her,
all the kids, her husband. She is passionate about the message of simple living and reaches over a million people each month on YouTube sharing her practical tips, her ideas. We are speaking with her, well not with her, but we are both speakers at the Get Organized HQ summit
that's happening the week of September ninth. It is a free summit, so if you are interested in organization, minimalism, organizing your finances, your home, every part of your life, schedule everything, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash g o HQ g o HQ get your free ticket to that summit. There are over one hundred speakers Don is speaking, We are speaking, and it's just going to be a week to really reset yourself for the fall.
So Frugal friendspodcast, dot com, Slash and GHQ get your free ticket and yeah, get this little teaser of what Don is going to be, just wisdom reigning on you.
So many things to do, come to the party, get the free summit ticket and listen to the rest of this episode.
Don, and welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast. We are so excited to have you with us. Thank you.
This is super fun to get to talk about. I love talking about for reality, money, getting out of debt. It changes everything, So I love what you guys are doing.
Yeah, minimalism is one of our favorite topics and along with our listeners as well, we love it when we get to talk about this, especially when we look at different circumstances of life. I feel as though minimalism as a parent is something on a whole other level. So we're excited to hear what you have to say about that. But to kick it off, can you give us a little bit of background on you, how you chose to pursue minimalism, some of the changes you've seen it make
in your family's life. Just start us off there.
Yeah, I mean, if I could take you back in time about nine years ago. We had four kids, ages four and under, and I was a stay at home mom and I I had everything. I had four healthy kids. I got to stay home. That's what I always wanted it to do. And I was so happy and I couldn't figure out what was going on. It was kind of the same time when at hobby Lobby the signs were coming out that said, like, good moms have sticky floors and piles of laundry, and my house was a wreck.
I just dreaded the days, watched the clock till my husband when get home. And then one day I was searching on Pinterest for a meal planning solution and I came across a podcast with Joshua Becker and he's a pretty well known minimalist now, and he said, did you know you don't have to have all of this stuff? And that stopped me in my tracks, because like, the stuff was a big part of the problem, picking up the toys and the laundry, and I mean, don't even get me started on the dishes.
It was just constant.
And I remember thinking to myself I just pick up these same things every day and washed these same clothes, and it was a grind and I was just there was no end in sight at that point, and so I started learning more about minimalism. There wasn't a lot out there on it at that time, and I vowed that if I ever got my house simplified and decluttered, that I would start a blog and I would help others know like how many forks and how many bath
towels and that kind of thing. So over the course of the next year, I got rid of about eighty percent of our stuff. My husband had no idea what we were doing, what we quotes were doing. I just focused on all the areas that I had domain over, the kitchen and the kids, stuff in my clothes, and I could not believe how much freedom it brought, how much easier my house was to manage, how much happier the kids were. Turns out, kids actually don't need hardly
any toys at all. That's just a byproduct of good marketing on the toy manufacturer's parts. And so as we just got rid of more and more, I could not believe the changes in myself, in our household and the kids my husband appreciated it more. I now know better the connection between clutter and stress and anxiety, and so everybody was winning and we were just doing so much
more better with keeping her house up. And so I did start a blog, and then I realized I don't actually like writing really at all, and so then it kind of morphed into a YouTube channel where I can like talk with my hands and show what it was that we were doing and show that a minimalist home, even with four kids, is not weird. It doesn't look funny. People don't walk in and think like we got robbed,
or wonder where is all your stuff? And all the fears I worried about in the beginning, would people think I'm depriving our kids or you know, all these things. It just really was a non issue. And now nine years later, I would never go back. And I try to tell every woman that I encounter, no matter what stage of life they're in, about the benefits of it.
Yeah. That's so good to hear, because I'm a mom of only two children, and like I was telling you before we started recording, I was like, I'm finally at the place in parenthood where I feel like things are out of my control. Like when when like Kai was a baby, I still felt like the stuff was in
my control. But yeah, like as we transition into that like more like the decisions are really made as a family now, like my five year old actually does get an input to an extent, I just yeah, it just like feels more and more overwhelming, like the laundry and the dishes, and those are just like minimal things that you know, compared to like the toys and the school paper and artwork and all of that.
Ye.
So, so I have loved like watching your YouTube videos for a while, and your most popular video is the Radical Mindset Shifts to Declever to Declutter your Whole House. And it's a long one and I think everyone should listen to it. It's it's like the length of a podcast, so it's not like a movie, but it's a podcast.
And so you're very clear, like I love how you break down kind of each room like by importance, and it makes it kind of more like easier to grasp for a mom that has like everything, and even if you're not a mom, but you're very clear that the kitchen is the most important place to start. So can you share why that is. I know you like maybe touched on it a little bit, but like, can you share why that is and how we can like loosen our grip a little bit on everything we're trying to keep in there.
Yeah, I think it's for multiple reasons. One, when we say the kitchen is the heart of the home, I really think it is. My husband once said when the when the kitchen is clean, I feel like life is under control. And so it's a room we spend a lot of time in and when it is cluttered and messy, we don't want to be in it, and we don't want to cook, and we don't want to clean. And when it's cluttered, it's harder to cook, and it's harder to clean, it's harder to put stuff away. And as
our kids get older, it's harder to involve them. And so it was import to me from a young age that I wanted our kids to know how to cook. And I had learned that kids take more interest in fruits and vegetables if they helped to prepare them right. And so I want to create these kids with this diverse taste palate and that know how to prepare foods. You know, But it's very hard in a messy kitchen
because they make it messier. And then I realized all of the guilt over all the food that gets wasted, and how I was just continually losing track of inventory and there would be things expiring in the fridge and in the pantry, and I would be like, I totally forgot we had it, and why didn't I use it?
And what's wrong with me? And so I realized that as we cut back the food inventory and the dishes inventory and pots and pants, that not only was my kitchen easier to keep clean, I enjoyed cooking more and I wasn't wasting food. So it's very multifaceted, and most of us don't put a lot of intentionality into it.
It just becomes like a time capsule of wedding gifts and things our mom had that we thought we should have, and things we got at garage sales or a pampered chef party, and most of us have not put a lot of intentionality into the design of our kitchen.
I can commiserate with that. We just renovated our kitchen, and I was so excite. I had my things packed away for so long we were living out of a makeshift kitchen for three years practically, and finally I was able to open these boxes. And my mom had downsized in the span of those three years, and so she was giving me family heirlooms and I couldn't wait to unpack them in my new kitchen. And as large as this new kitchen is, it got filled up really fast.
And even myself, I would consider myself a minimalist. But the airlooms can be particularly difficult to sort through. But you have a really great strategy for using specifically a messy kitchen to declutter. Can you explain that? How would we approach our kitchen first? Right?
So often we think like, okay, well, if I'm going to declutter my kitchen, I need to do the dishes and I need to get the counters cleared off. But rather just stop where you're at with a messy kitchen and look at the data, like what is your kitchen telling you? What things are continually sitting out? What things don't have a home? What things when you moved in you put the coffee pot over here, but then the coffee over there, or you know, the spatulos aren't actually
close to where you use them. And so just just look at it with fresh eyes and say what is working in our kitchen and what clearly is not working. And then once we start to have we want to be more practical with our strategy with it. Then when I go to declutter, what's in the cabinet under the coffee maker, so I can put the coffee next to the coffee maker. Now it's a little bit easier to get rid of the random breadmaker that I got during COVID because I thought I was going to make bread
and heaven't. And I can say, you know what, like I bought this, that sucks. I spent money on it, but this is making my kitchen not function well. And so my priority is to make my kitchen fit my current season of life. Whatever the type of cooking we are doing right now, that's what I want to prioritize in my kitchen. So we're okay, I'm looking at the data. We're not making bread stinks, But how about I get rid of it or at a minimum, move it out of the kitchen for now till I decide to take
that up again. And so by looking at the information that our messy kitchen is giving us, then we can start to say what needs to get out of here so I can make room for the things that we're actually using, and usually those are the things sitting out on the counter.
Yeah. That was a quote actually in your video that I loved because we talked about so much about prioritizing your current season, not the season you wish you were in, not the season you thought you would be in, or you know, like our past season, but what is your current season, and not feeling guilty because you're not where you were or where you're not where you thought you should be, looking at where you are and using that to determine the things that you own.
I love that It also gives such a nice permission to not be so aspirational with what we have in our kitchen, but I can see that I'm eventually gonna use this one day. We do this in all other areas. But I'm hearing you describe that if we're able to do this in our kitchens, then how much easier will it come to us in all other parts of our home.
Yeah, And we have a lot of fantasy self clutter and guilty clutter in the kitchen, so we have the fantasy self I'm gonna make bread. I'm gonna make smoothies. I'm going to make homemade donuts. I don't know all these things we acquire, right, I mean, go to a pampered chef party and they just feed into your fantasy self, right of like all the fancy cookie that you're gonna do. And so there's a lot of that that we have to reconcile and say it is okay if I am
not doing that in this season of life. And then there's also the guilty clutter of I spent money on it. And again we go to a pampered chef party. The demonstrator makes everything looks so easy and great and like this is going to make your life. You know, you can cook dinner so much faster now if you buy this thing, right, And then we get home and it sits in the box because we realize it's more work to clean it than it is just to use it,
you know, or to use a knife instead. And so we have these things that a lot of things in our kitchen we have spent good, good money on, right, and so it can be very hard to let those things go. But again, think about the money you're going to be putting back in your pocket when you are cooking at home, My goodness, none of us can afford to eat out anymore. Right, when you're cooking at home, you're not wasting food. The kitchen especially, you can recoop money so quickly.
Okay, So tell me what are some of the things like in your kitchen like that you found that you recooped like immediately.
Yeah, So, I mean I've had, you know, we had like the rice maker and the casadia maker and the panini maker and all that, right, and so about uh, it was probably about two years ago. Now our kids were getting a little bit older. So we have four kids, ages nine through fourteen, and I decided that they could cook breakfast and lunch on their own, like they were
gonna be in charge of that now. But what was happening was that they weren't finding foods, and then we were buying like a lot of convenience foods and prepackaged stuff, and I was like, this wasn't exactly how I imagined this was going. So two years ago we already had a simplified kitchen, but I went all in, saying, if this is not serving us in this season of life, and no one was using all these makers, right, rice Maker, wapple Maker kit and so I was like ou and
so I just donated them. Some people sell them, and then it felt like it freed up the mental space and physical space where now they could learn recipes, they could cook actual foods with real ingredients, and so very quickly are it was helping our grocery budget because we weren't buying all the prepackaged stuff, or we weren't doing the thing where it's like we're out and about, like well, let's just swing through McDonald's because that's easier than trying to go home and make something.
You know.
Yeah, I have found that in a similar because we also just got out of a renovation and so now I have this kitchen where I'm trying to like decide what are the things that just the things that I want in it. And I really wanted like to keep my you know, I really wanted to keep my Ninja foody because it's like this, you know, it's the air fryer and the instant pot and you know, all these
things all in one. But I found that I don't use the air fryer because so I'm using the instant pot, but like I'm not really using the air fryer, So like I was like, should I get an air fryer? Like that was the first thing that popped up in my head and it was like for twenty seconds, but still it was like even after all of this this, these like things still pop up in your head, and
like now I'm seeing the ninja creamy everywhere. And when you're saying like, oh, you're like Kaesadia maker and all these makers, like in two years, everybody's gonna get rid of their ninja creamy, Like yeah, it's just another one of those makers that like, like I have my one thing is like my pressure cooker, and that's like even though it has ten functions, that's still the only function I use, right, Like I didn't need all the functions.
So that's just like, yeah, I've experienced that as well. So let's we're already talking about like kids and like getting them involved. How how have you kind of like included your kids and encouraged them in this lifestyle to be active participants in this lifestyle and embrace it.
You know, I think kids are minimalists at heart. I think we are drowning kids in clutter and toys and craft supplies and all of these things, and they don't want it.
Now.
It's confusing because they don't know how to tell us that when they're being kind of crabby, or aren't playing well with their siblings, or don't know how to occupy their own time. They don't come up to us and say, you know what, mom, I think if you simplified my toys and my clothes in my bedroom, I think I would play better.
Right.
We just think they need a different toy they need, you know, maybe they're at a different stage now, they need montsory toys, they need educational toys. I don't know, they need something different, right, kind of like you just said with therapy three identical toys. Yes, yes, right, they have the same toy right. And so you know, I went all in on toys. Our kids were pretty young,
and it kind of happened by accident. We were staging our house to move, and so I looked at our family room and I was like, well, we can't have all these toys in here. It was a pretty small townhouse. I'm like, I need it to feel open and spacious, and so I boxed up almost all of their toys and Tom had taken the kids out, and I was prepared when they got home. Now, again they were young,
they were infant through five, but I was prepared. I was like, I'm just going to tell them, don't worry their box stup as soon as we get to our next house while I'm box them, you know whatever. And they came into our family room and they loved it. Maggie, our second oldest, she was like, I can do gymnastics in here. And I know every parent has had that experience, whether it's cleaning their bedroom or a different room. Kids walk in and it's like they're free and they love
the open space. And at Christmas we all joke like, oh, kids would rather play with the cardboard boxes than the toys, right, But it's true, and so I firmly believe now. I experienced it first, but now I see all the research to back it. Kids are minimalists at heart, and so all we have to do is model it to them. It is not a fight at our house. You know, our kids still get gifts, they still get Birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, but a couple weeks after Christmas, they
just know. We do a whole house to clutter, and we just let stuff go because if inventory comes in, then stuff has to go back out. And it's normal. Sometimes they put brand new toys into the donation box, like things they just got for Christmas, and I'm like like, oh, no, what are you doing? But then I'm like no, I
want them to be open handed with things. And they've gotten really good, like they bring me donations now, and they've gotten really good at knowing what they like, what they enjoy, and I've gotten good to looking at the data, like if it's on the floor, like a phrase in our house is you pick it up, you keep it. I pick it up, I keep it. And if I pick it up because they don't want it anymore, that means they have lost value for it. I'm not going to try and put it back in their room or
beg them to pick them up. Like I'm just like, okay, they don't want it anymore, and I have to be okay with that. It's only really expensive or a favorite, and they're just in a grumpy mood like I might let them earn it back, but mostly then I'm like okay, I mean they're tossing it or it's going in the donation box. I can't have more value for this stuff than they do.
WHOA, what a wild rule? You pick it up, you keep it, I pick it up, I keep it. My mom actually did that with laundry. I'm remembering now hearing you say that she did do our laundry as kids, but if we left any money in it, she capped it. She said it was like her payment for doing her laundry. So great. I'm curious with this process because I imagine
this didn't entirely happen overnight. So for families wanting to get started, what would you say are some helpful tips and identifying what season we're currently in, what are the essentials for right now, determining like the necessity of each item, what should be kept or or you know, donated. How do we measure emotional attachment kind of moving through all those different things that surface in those beginning stages.
Yeah, especially with kids, Steph, A great tactic is just to try and decrease it by fifty percent. So no matter how many toys you have right now, as a mom, you know your kids well enough that you could go in right now and declutter their toys by fifty percent. You know the ones they've outgrown, they've lost interest in that they never really had interest in that they then pleaded for and they finally got it, and then it kind of didn't live up to the hype. And so
that can be a great place to start. And so this comes from Kim John Payin from the book Simplicity Parentinge and he actually worked with kids. So he has a fascinating story because he worked with kids in Cambodia, I believe, in a refugee camp, so kids literally that were refugees had lost everything. And that was when he first recognized the signs of PTSD in kids and different
symptoms of stress and anxiety. I mean rightfully so, based on the circumstances they were living for through And then from there he went to Europe and was working with families there. Now there he was in suburbia, working with suburban families and working with parents who were having difficulties with their kids, and he said, all of a sudden, he realized that he was seeing the same signs of
PTSD in these suburban kids. They were stressed, they were anxious, they weren't cooperative, and he attributed much of it to their schedules being overfilled and too much stuff in their homes, and so this is one of his tactics. He tells parents that you can absolutely simplify your kids stuff without them. That's a very common question that comes up. Do I need to involve my kids? And so you can absolutely do it without them. What we do is, again where the goal is to cut it in half, We box
it up and we set it aside. So you put it in a storage space, garage, attic, basement and let them experience it. So you're not donating it all right away or renting a dumpster, but you're helping your kids to be able to experience this, and you can do that without them. Then the next question from mom's dugi like, but I want them to learn these life skills, don't worry. They're areguingly plenty of opportunities for them to declutter with
you in the future. But often to get back to that baseline where kids even have a grid for what it feels like to live with less, we have to make some drastic cuts at the beginning. But honestly, from every mom that I've heard do this, there are never regrets. It's always like, oh, my kids love it. Oh they're
playing better, because that's what you'll experience kids. They're more peaceful, they're more calm, they're less grouchy, they play better with their siblings, they can play better longer, they get engrossed and imaginative play. They're not always asking to go on devices. They'll actually go outside and play. That's what we want for our kids. And it's very counterintuitive that getting rid of all their toys is how we're going to get there.
Yes, yeah, we I mean, and we've talked about like your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed till you're twenty five, so it's much harder to make good spending decisions and good decluttering decisions before twenty five. So like helping your young people with these decisions, it doesn't rob them of anything. It is like it's just modeling for them.
Yeah, And I do want to make one caveat for families with neurodiverse kids. So if you have add ADHD autism odd kids, they can sometimes have different attachments to their things, and often parents then are very fearful to get rid of things. Obviously. You know the word we worry about is trauma, right, And I did hear from a child psychologists She's like, unless you are ripping their favorite stuff to animal out of their hand and burning it in the front yard as they're like crying next
to you. She's like, we're not traumatizing our kids. But it can be a little more complicated with autistic children or some of these other neurodiversities. And so what's fascinating what Kim JOm Pain recommends is he says, then if you are in this situation as the parent, what you do is you highly simplify and declutter your bedroom first. So you take the lead and you do it in
your bedroom. And he said, what is going to happen is they are going to walk into your room and they are going to say I want that for my room. And often, again, our kids they don't know if you just say, hey, we're going to declutter your toys, they have no idea what you mean why we're doing this. But if they can experience it, if they can walk into a room that is fully decluttered and simplified and peaceful, then they can put the language around it to say I would like that for my room too.
That's really helpful. Yeah, I appreciate the acknowledgment that every kid they're they're different abilities, their ways of moving through the world will make a difference, and as the parent, you can know what's going to be best for them, but also recognize that in most cases, simplification is what's going to be best for them, and kind of the
methods of going about that could look different. You've described really well so far down kind of what maintenance looks like within the home and the ways that you all are doing regular inventories. I'm curious what maintenance looks like for a kind of external when other people want to be giving gifts, so you're walking away with party favors and just I so many times people just want to give families, especially children things. What does that look like then for you all?
Yeah, I will never forget the first Easter. It was Easter of all things. It was not even Christmas. After we got our house like so simplified, and it was like every person, every family member decided they wanted to bring like Easter baskets and all the things for our kids. And we got back home in the back of our van was like literally full with all this stuff that I knew would not stand the test of time, right, I'm like, it's just going to be everywhere in the house,
and I was so frustrated, and so two things. One I had to recognize like, oh, my goodness, don take a chill pill. Your kids are so well loved. Now, would I prefer that not everybody did it through physical gifts? Like yes, but oh my goodness, like how great do we have it? The second thing I realized is that there are two types of people that give gifts to our kids, those who want input and those who don't.
And so my mom, my sister, one of my aunts, they are super great about asking, especially when the kids were little, what would they like for Christmas and Birthday gifts? And then I would just be proactive and when one of those occasions was coming up, I would just send them ideas and they were appreciative of it. They were
really respectful of what I was doing. And then there are others who they're well intentioned, but they just love giving gifts, especially gifts of big toys to kids because it's so fun to see the reactions right when they get it. And I just remember one time a certain relative and I'm like, is it like a competition to see who can give the biggest, loudest, dumbest, like toy to my kids, right, And again it's confusing for the gift to give her because the kids gave them the
reaction they were looking for. Oh my goodness, this is the coolest ever, right, And I'm like, yes, but you're not going to be here two days later and see that they have lost all interest in it. We've had toys like this before, right, Like I you know, my mom brain, I'm like, been there, tried that, you know. And if honestly, if it actually occupied their time, bring all of the big crap in like I don't care, but I know it doesn't they lose interest in it
very quickly. But I just had to realize, like, you know what, I get to control the inventory in my home, So if the kids actually aren't playing with it, then I can invite it to leave again. And so we donated it, and that relative came over a few months later, and I could just tell they were like looking around, you know, kind of like where is the big doll house? You know? And and so finally I left the room and they asked one of the girls. They were like, hey,
where'd the dollhouse go? And I just hear like clear as day from the other room mom donated it, you know, and I was just I was horrified because as much as I want to protect the peace of my house, I'm like not trying to offend people, right, But at the end of the day, it's too important, like having our house peaceful and easy to maintain. Again, if the kids loved it and played with it every day, I don't get rid of it then, but they weren't right,
and so I do get to make those decisions. That was seriously one of the only times that has happened over the nine years that we've been living this way now, and so we survived it. It was fine, Our relationship survived it, and actually we didn't get as many big things like that in the future from that person.
So there you go, short term discomfort for long term benefit. But speaking of gifts that we are requesting and we like to receive, on every single episode stands.
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This is the bill of the week.
Don Every week we ask our listeners and our guests to share with us their bill of the week. We leave it ambiguous for a reason because it's very open to interpretation and we would love to hear yours.
Yeah, so you guys probably go back to school a little earlier than us up in here in the Midwest, but our kids don't actually go back till after Labor Day. And so we have been back to school shopping now. And I decided we've done this for a few years, but I give each of the kids eighty dollars and I say, you can spend it however you want, and so that like it has to like cover some of their basics, like clothes, but we go to thrift stores,
so like they can cover clothes pretty inexpensively. But it's been fascinating to see how they spend it. And I have one who will try to get the most out of it. And then this year are eleven year old who he normally does not care about brands or fashion. He's like, I want to get Nike shoes, and I was like, okay, and so they were sixty dollars and I loved seeing him hand the cash over to the cashier.
And we do cash. I don't get into like the debit cards and stuff for kids because I think they need to feel the pain of the cash leaving their hands. And so it's been a few days now and I'm like, do you still like that or you glad that he did it? He's like yeah, and he loves wearing them to youth group and you know, and we've had other experiences where he's bought things, you know, Remo control, coctual cars and stuff, and it did not go so well.
He felt bad afterwards, and so we just have lots of like good conversations and open, open dialogue about it, because I never want my kids to think stuff is bad or name brands. I know some minimalists kind of get down on even like name brands, and I'm like, you know what, we all just want to fit in at the end of the day. And so it is
what it is. But what I am trying to teach my kids is that if you have money for it, you can buy it, Like life is all about trade offs, and if that is what you want to spend your money on just don't put it on a credit card, right and we are work cool.
So yeah, that's awesome. That is such. That's so great because year to year kids change, right and so like one year they're not into brands, and the next like something happens and they decide they need to do something different to fit in or whatever. And as parents, like we try to be on top of that, but there's you just can't be everywhere, so like giving them the autonomy like those are you know, letting them take a
bit of the control. Is It's like how we talk about teaching kids about finance and between spending and minimalism, like the whole conversation it's the same. It's about consumption and just teaching our children to be like responsible with the consumption, like that costs money, the things that consume our physical space. So yeah, I love that. I love that he loved his shoes so much.
All right, if you all listening, have a bill that you want to submit, if it's about your kids spending dollar bills on whatever it is that they want, or you're out there spending dollar bills, or you're out there saving dollar bills, are finding dollar bills, Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash bill, leave us your bill. We can't wait for it. And now it's time for.
All Right, we've come to the vulnerability round of our episode, and we will all answer this question, not just you John, so we will not leave you hanging. What's one just in case item that you have kept around for a while that you just recently realized you don't actually need, like in your latest declutter, maybe.
Yeah, there has been a facial steamer sitting and taking up valuable real estate in my bathroom and like my fantasy self, Like, you know, especially in Minnesota in the winter, it gets so dry here. I don't know how Florida is, but it's just humid all the time there. I don't know, we live in a facial steamer. Okay, yeah, it gets super humid, super slivant one. Okay, you have great skin.
I mean, you're beautiful, but we especially in the winter, so you know, and especially like I'm forty one now, so I'm like I have to be Actually I have my twin sister reminds me of that, and like, you got it. She's like, you're gonna look like an elephant when we're seventy and I'm not because she does all the things you.
Have to pick elephants.
Wow, deep wrinkles, right, rude. So I'm like, okay, and I have the face mass and like do the steam and put the face mask on and like. And I looked at it and I was like, literally have not used that in a year and a half. And so I was like, look at the data down like you're not using it. You could actually use this space, and so I am I am letting that go. But I don't know, it's fine.
I don't think you'll look like Florida woman because while we while we do live in a facial steamer, most of our skin is leathery like an elephant because of the sun. So I think I think you're gonna be I don't. Yeah, I don't think you're gonna go all the way to elephant. Yeah, I think you'll be. Okay, all right, Jill, you your name is next on the list.
So so Chargers, I just realized this. I am pretty minimal. I've got empty drawers and cabinets, and I love that they will remain empty because it's very fun for me. But I just realized I've got this collection of chargers and hoards in a box that I don't know what some of them, I don't know what they're for. And that's probably part of why I can't get rid of them, because someday we'll come across the thing that we need
to charge. But some of them are to our old phones that those charges chargers would not work for any current electronic that I have, And I don't know why I haven't thrown them out, Like why I have such an attachment to these are things of importance. You will need this, but they're going to be gone, don't you worry? Right after this podcast is recorded, we're getting rid of them.
That's similar because so we got new phones at the same time, like a month and a half ago, and I immediately was able to throw out those chargers that no longer work and will not work for any electronic Like that was easy for me. Uh the box though, the boxes to electronics, I don't know why it is instinctual for me to like just put them away somewhere special, especially Apple boxes. Why do they make them so good?
Like don't you feel.
A twinge of guilt like tossing them into the recycling bin.
If you're going to return it and then you're gonna you're gonna wish that you had the box. But I did.
I did actually toss the box and even the little papers that are in it, and I was like, oh, surely I need this. But then I was like, no, if it's printed, it is online somewhere.
Exactly and got to be I'm actually going to use that Apple sticker anywhere, not.
No way to. Apple doesn't pay me to advertise for them, I'm not putting their sticker on anything. I actually got it. So I got a Stanley as a gift, and I was like, Stanley doesn't pay me, So I put our frugal friends sticker over their logo.
Nice take it to the man.
It's a good cup though, with a good handle, so I do use it. And I was just thinking with this, so I answered this before we start recording, and don your wireless keyboard didn't work and I was like, oh no, I'm such a hypocrite because I still have the box to the to the wireless keyboard I do. It's like sitting over there. So after weah, yeah, after we finished recording, that box is going that's awesome.
I don't know why I think what oh what if I resell this someday? Whoever I resell it to is not going to care if it comes in the box.
No, especially if you just turn it in at the Apple store for the new phone.
They don't right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've bought several Apple Watches on Facebook Marketplace and never have I once been you know, like, I'm not going to pay as much for this because there's no box. No, like never.
So well, this has been enlightening, Dawn. Thank you so much for sharing all all of your wisdom to tips and tricks. Where can people get more from you?
I spend most of my time on YouTube, So if you just search the minimal Mom on YouTube or at the minimum mom dot com.
Yes, and definitely when you go to her page, sort it by popular and you'll see the most popular one is JEF is the one that we talked about with all the different rooms mindset shifts to make decluttering easier. And you're speaking at the Get Organized summit, do you remember what you're speaking on so people can watch out for that.
Yes, I'm talking about hushing your house and that has just been It has been so good at that tactic. So if you have been struggling with decluttering. This is this is for you. Some of us need like those fun like mind games. This is totally one of those.
Wasn't so much fun? Yes, awesome, I can't wait to hear it. So Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash go HQ. You can catch down there. You can catch us and like one hundred other experts on organing all kinds of things in your home. Thank you so much, Done, Yeah, thank.
You, guys.
I love I love Done because she is so relatable. I and I we say that about a lot of people that we have on our show, mainly because we only have people that we feel we can relate to like on the show. But in minimalism it can be this, just like frugality, it can be this really judgmental space where if you're not doing minimalism perfectly, you can be judged for it. Like I posted a picture of my living room once in my old house, uh and just you know, did a little tour like this is what
a minimalist you know, family living room looks like. And because I had some chot keys in a in a China cabinet like I got, I got so much backlash from like not being a real minimalist, you know. So I was so sad, I know, and so I just love Don She's been doing this for so long, and it is she is continually continually like decluttering because and just like recognizing, like life is not perfect, minimalism is not perfect, and I think you have permission to not be perfect.
It was a good reminder of who we're doing these efforts for. Right, You don't maintain your living room for Sally Q on Instagram. You maintain it for what's going to make sense for you. But I think that reminder is what we got from down here again today is it's not for other people, even your your maintenance of things, but sometimes it is, whether or not we realize it. It's for everybody else who gave us gifts for when they come over to see that what they gave us
we still have. It's for maintaining some esthetic or giving the toys that we think that the kids need. But instead this reminder of what serves you, What is your current season, what are the things that you're using telling you about your lifestyle, and how can you lean into those things and clear the rest of the clutter to ultimately give yourself more piece less stress. So that was a helpful reminder for me.
Yeah, they had a funny. I had a funny like story that I forgot when we were talking to her, but like when she was talking about the toys. I recently decluttered some of Kai's bath toys that he stopped playing with and I just got rid of them. I didn't hold them anywhere, and he hadn't played with them in several months because he was onto new bath toys.
And the day, not the day, like a week after I got rid of these toys, he asked for one specifically, and I was like, dang it, like it's it happened. But all I did was I went and I was like, hey, you hadn't played with it in a while, and I donated it. I'm so sorry. Is there a different toy I can get for you? And he just was like, yeah, get me this. And I had not gotten rid of that, so it was not it was like the moment I had been dreading, and it was not that hard because
I was honest and I offered an alternative. So if anybody's nervous about that, that did just happen to me, like the other day, So amazing, but yeah, like it's so great, but you moved through it and it's with honesty. I think the was the key. So and Don is again speaking with us at Get Organized HQ summits so Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash go HQ. I'm really interested in to see seeing her Hush your House. That's gonna be interesting.
I'm so excited about this because it feels like a little bit of an adjacent topic than what then the summits we've done or what we've been a part of. This more kind of tangible how to get organized in all aspects of life. So I'm excited about it. Thank you all for making it this far with us. We
so appreciate your listen. We also appreciate your reviews, like this one from j C. Hall Frugal Friends Forever says, somehow I came upon this podcast at the beginning of the year, and I have been listening to it regularly every day since. So many useful tips, reminders, and helpful information on living frugally and being intentional with your money. I cannot list all the ways the show has helped me. I still have over one hundred episodes to listen to. What am I going to do when I run out.
Thank you ladies for teaching this old dog new Tricksmah right back at.
You, JC, Hall JC, unless you're a man, and then mah could be either. That's so fun. Thank you so much for listening, Jac. And when you run out of all the episodes, read the book. Hopefully the book will be out by then Buy what you Love without going broke. Buy what you Love book dot com pre order it so by the time you're finished binging, that book will be on your front doorstep.
And if you're not sold on this book yet, come to our party tonight tonight see you then bye.
Gorugal Friends is produced by Eric.
Sirianni Okay, Jen, I have a very Florida experience to tell you about, And anyone else who is still here with us.
Is this what you're going to tell talk to me about yesterday beating his chance, about the trouble st huh.
I don't know if it has to do with the tropical I don't know if it has to do with the tropical storm exactly, but it is a Florida experience. I went to put on my pajama pants the other night, and I did I put them on and then I felt something scratchy high, yeah, I and I just like scratch it because sometimes you know there's something just like a loose thread or something, so I scratch it and it moves. I whip my pants off so fast, at
lightning speed. I don't even remember it happening. My pants were just off, and sure enough cockroach.
Oh no, oh, I was a tiny lizard.
That would have been amazing. I would have kept it as a pet.
Not good tiny lizards.
Tiny lizard is better than cockroach. I think they're cute. I don't mind them in my home pants.
But like, if you take off your pants and there's a tiny lizard, you're like, be free, man like. But not here. Yes, it's when it's a cockroach.
Cockroach, it's die and die immediately, die, immediately.
Burn it, regret your existence everything. Yeah, I did not like that experimenter. I was hoping for your sake, it wouldn't be a cockroach. But that is also another equally Florida. It's equally Florida.
We rarely have bugs in our home, thank goodness. And you know sometimes it's going to happen, but not in my pants, man, not there. So then we spent the next day, just going around the interior and exterior of the house, calking just whatever we could. Where could they be coming in? Did you put found.
Ax around the perimeter.
When we did our renovations, we put like whatever was open, we put borax everywhere.
You got to do it once a year, and you got to do it three times, three weeks between each.
I don't know I'll do that again. It's just if I put it outside. Google would say my patio like it's gonna get washed away very soon. And I also hear like they can just so many seek in when you open the door. So yeah, Florida, you know what, I think there's.
A spray version two that might be might not get washed away. So but Travis is in charge of bugs, like that's his thing. So yeah, but I'm so sorry that.
This is where we live. And you know what, I just realized it happened on our four year anniversary of living here, August fifth. We moved in on August fifth, four years ago. It was like my little awful nightmare of a gift. Four year Florida now, yeah, four years. Yeah, we believe that.
Wow, we've been together longer than we've been apart. In this that is.
True, that's grassy.
What did I do before you? Okay, we got it. We got somebody in our riverside waiting room. We gotta go. Okay, okay,