Intentional Giving

about this, especially at this time of year. I do think it crosses our minds more at this time of year about giving by it. I'm still excited to talk about it, and then hopefully that this is not just a end of the year kind of topic but a

year round topic. Well, this Tuesday is Giving Tuesday. My hope for this episode is that we, as our Frugal Friends community, because we are thousands and thousands strong, that we will be a community that doesn't just give over the holidays, but we can include giving in our budgets regularly, and so this will be a help, a guide and kind of allowing us and forcing us, not forcing, but encouraging you to intentionally give so and then put it on autopilot and let it be. So that's what we're

going to get into today, but first our sponsors. Today's episode is brought to you by the debt Free Christmas Planner. So if you have the best in pensions every year about trying to control your holiday spending, but you always find something comes up that you weren't prepared for, then you are going to love this free planner. I was going to say an explet it before it, but that's

how excited I am about it. This is a free planner to help you record every cost, stay on budget this season, and get you started with saving for the right amount next year so that you're not guessing and predicting, but you're really making a plan to stay on track. So if this is something you want, go to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash holiday to get your free planner. Also brought to you by It's Better to Give than to Receive. We're over the moon and an entire phrase

have sponsored this episode. We despised hearing this as young kids, when we really just wanted some presents, but as we enter into adulthood, we recognize that giving has some amazing benefits too. No one is entirely all truistic, So give and get some of those warm, fuzzy fields that come from helping another human being. M I love it when phrases sponsor the show because we charged by the word exactly so and punctuation mark. So yeah, there is an

exclamation mark in there, and that's exsolutely. It's better to give to us than to receive, is what I always say. Oh, hello, well, anyways, got a lot, don't really don't I all right, So this would be the time where I would like mention other similar episodes, but we don't have anything similar to this,

And this is actually an episode for me. If you listen to our holiday Impulse spending episode of a few weeks back, you saw that I told you this one was coming and it was going to be like a line in the sand for me to really be more

intention about giving and generosity. Not intentional in the fact, like I'm trying to manually do it all the time, but intentional about giving to causes that I care about regularly in a way that makes an impact, and figuring out how to choose those charities and kind of trying to decipher what people say is a good charity versus like what I believe, like the good work that I see charity is doing, maybe even if they're not on charity navigator like, So just trying to come all to

terms with that, it's a lot and I get overwhelmed, and which is one of the reasons I've been putting it off. But this episode is my line in the sand. Yeah, I like that having it be more part of daily life. I think that this is a place that I have wanted to get to and have made strides towards in various ways. But for me generally, pocity is one of my wise For frugality, certainly getting out of debt was one. At one point we accomplished that. So grateful buying a house,

saving money, doing some of these other things. I think I have a couple of wise, but certainly along the way generosity, and I think that this is an incredible tenant of being savvy, being intentional with your money, of budgeting is not just for ourselves, but to also open up the door to look outward to our neighbors, to our fellow community members, two people, domestically, internationally, whatever it is to be able to help others with that money.

I remember I participated in the Financial Peace University course when Eric and I were first newly married, and it was really helpful for both of us to kind of get on the same page and to think about budgeting in a way we hadn't, especially as newlyweds. It was fantastic.

But one of the biggest things that stuck to me out of like what was shared through that course was the ability that if we are wise with our finances, we will be able to be generous with them, And to me, that is a tenant that has stuck of Okay, not just for myself, but for the sake of other people. If I can do well with my finances, I can bless other people. So this is a never ending goal.

We might reach debt freedom, we might reach savings goals, we might pay off our mortgage, but this is something that's ongoing that there are always people who are in need that we can be helping if we are on top of our own finances enough. So, Yeah, I love this topic. I think that it's always worth talking about spurring one another on in and considering not just this time of year, but year round, and it can be overwhelming when you start to get to that point. Of Okay,

what does intentional generosity look like? What does it look like to to somebody else's phrase, live and give like no one else? Because if no one else is doing it, how can they tell you what it looks like. So we're going to go through two articles that might help you decide what that looks like for you. Let's preface it by saying, you will never be the perfect philanthropist. You know, you won't be able to give perfectly. There

will always be overhead in any charity. There will there will never be the charity that does exactly what you think that they should be doing. The goal is just to do better every year. First to do it, to give and then grow as a giver. But first you have to get started. So our first article is from life water dot org and it's called the power of Generosity. Three ways to be an intentional giver. What did you think of this? And Jill, Yeah, I think it's great.

I love the word intentional. I think we can overuse it certainly, but I think that's how a life well lived is lived is to think it through, be purposeful, be proactive. So I think just that underlying tenant of let's be intentional with our giving is a really great place to start. It means that we're being planful. It means that we're budgeting. It means that we're thinking it through. It means that we are giving towards something that's worthwhile

to us. So I think in a lot of ways that it helped to set the stage well for what our aim should be. So the first one on the article is to find a nonprofit that aligns with your values. But you first then have to identify what your values are. What are the things that you care about. Make a

short list. Of course, you can make a long list, but you have to narrow it down to a short list, unless you are a millionaire, in which case have the list, have the long list, but narrow that down to a short list of what do you want to see happen in the world. You have your time, you have your money, and you have your social influence, Like what causes are close to your heart that you can give those things too and so, and the article says, consider which problems

you want to solve in the world. Is it alleviating poverty, education for girls, faith based or not perhaps performing the criminal justice system. Decide what your values are and the change you want to see in the world, and then start from there and find nonprofits that align with that. The second one on this list is to consider long term impact. This is another part of being intentional with our money. And there is a great book on this that the article recommends, and I also would recommend it.

It's called When Helping Hurts How to Alleviate poverty without hurting the poor and yourself, and it just talks about different alleviation efforts in the past and present that we can improve upon in the future. There's a lot of approaches to solving worldwide and community issues that haven't been successful, and that's okay. There's some of this trial by error, but there's a reality to sometimes the fact that we as givers think that we know the best way to

give and we might be ill informed. So first of all, partnering with a nonprofit can help with that, so that the nonprofit can tell you what its needs are and what's the best way to serve the population that they're serving, but also to understand what is best practice, what does research show about what's the best way to respond to needs and care for others in various situations, and it references how a lot of our efforts in helping various communities have not turned out maybe the way that we

intended it to. So being sure that we've considered the type of long term impact that we want to see, that we've done our own due diligence on what's actually going to make long term impact, what does research show about this matter, and then ensure that whatever non profit you're giving to is following the models that are proven

to be most helpful to any given population. Absolutely, and this kind of goes back to you're never going to be the perfect philanthropist, because there were people twenty years ago that we're giving money to organizations who thought that they were really making a difference, and now after time and research, we realized that those were not as effective

as we thought and there was no ill intention. But you learn and you grow, and so that's why it's important to do your research in what long term impacts an organized anation has seen and where they want to go in the future. And I've seen this. An issue that I've become particularly passionate about recently is international adoption and how the industry of international adoption has become a business to where it is creating orphans versus solving an

orphan problem and so. But it did not start out as a problem. It started out as a solution, and as with anything entrusted to humans, has evolved into something different. So just consider the long term impact, but don't be paralyzed by all the what ifs of the bad things that could happen by giving your money. Trust the nonprofit after you do your research that they will steward your dollars to the best of their ability. Yeah, which leads to number three on this list, which is participate in

a nonprofits work. So if you want to see a bit more behind the scenes of what is going on, how do they do this work? Get involved. Being generous is not just about giving money, although it's a big component that most organizations are very grateful for. But you can also give of your time as well and participate in the mission and vision of a nonprofit in a variety of ways. Whether that is as a volunteer on a regular basis or just a couple of times a year.

That certainly depends on you and what the needs of the nonprofit are. But get involved and make it a well rounded kind of generosity where it is both your time and your money. Absolutely, becoming a partner like with a nonprofit that you are financially supporting, can kind of be transformative for you. It can make you look at yourself differently almost. I think I don't remember who said it, but a guy that runs a lot of nonprofits was like,

if you give money or time, you're a philanthropist. Doesn't matter if it's twenty five a month, you're a philanthropist. And so you can shift your money mindset from one of scarcity to more abundance just by saying I financially support a nonprofit. I'm a philanthropist. I have money to do this. That's a big shift for sure. And just by starting small, yeah, it changes your own perspective on yourself,

on the world. It helps us to get outside of ourselves and my goodness, if I can say this, I think it's a really important principle, especially with what we've all just walked through and continue to walk through with COVID, that we are able to get outside of ourselves and our situations to be able to give, whether again that's in time or in money to one another. It really helps us again with that perspective peace on our own lives and on the world around us, and it helps

us to not feel so insulated in our experiences. It can connect us to those around us when a lot of us are feeling quite disconnected and isolated. Certainly, if you are in deep financial need, then no, this is not a requirement of you to be giving financially elsewhere, but consider other ways to be generous with yourself, with your relationships with others, with your time for others. But yes, if you are so blessed to have a little bit of excess in this season giving being generous, it helps

us emotionally, relationally, spiritually, mentally. We are whole people and when we can tap into this other aspect and expression of ourselves, it can help us in a variety of level. So that yeah, I mean, I say it junkingly, like better to give than to receive. But there are some deep, deep benefits of getting outside of ourselves, seeing need around us, responding to that need. Even if it doesn't solve that need, it helps our own perception of self and others around us.

So yes, I encourage generosity in whatever way you are able to be generous. Yes, absolutely so. Our next article is how to be an informed giver. It's five Steps to informed giving. It's from Charity Navigator, which is pretty much the pre eminent greater or rancor for charities. I think they look at now over a hundred thousand different charities and grade them based on their financial, true exparency,

their leadership, transparency, all these different things. So it is probably the first place I would go to start doing research on a charity. And they've got five steps to

being proactive. Yeah, So the first one is to be proactive in your giving, and they recommend starting with causes that are important to you and being specific about the impact that you want your money to have again, whether that's with a particular medical concern or a specific population or area of the world, what you want to see happen in your community and larger environment, and go after those causes and start to pull together a list of

those charities that would match those interests. Yeah, and I like that it says that a national organization versus a local one, you're not necessarily going deeper if you choose a local organization over national one, because if you wanted to do something like a disease, your money is probably better spent giving to a national organization versus if you want to help families in a particular area or time of life, then maybe community or smaller organization is better.

So one is not better than the other. It just depends on the goal that you're trying to achieve. The next one is to research before giving. We will say this over and over, but don't be paralyzed by the research. Just do your due diligence. So again, Charity Navigator is the first place I go to look at charities, but they also say if for some reason they don't have it listed, or if they have it listed but don't have a grade, there are some other things that you

should look for. So it needs to be tax exempt five oh one C three public charity. If you're not sure if it is, it needs to have an employer identification number, and so when you get that e I N, you can check the navigator to confirm its status and that This would be specifically if you're looking to get tax deductions yourself, Like if you give to a five O one C three, then it counts as charitable giving

and you can write that off on your taxes. Certainly, you can give to organizations that you want to give to if They're like, maybe, if there's a foundation that you want to give to, it might not be a five O one C three and you might not get tax credit for it, But if you are specifically looking for that, then you want a five O one C three. Yeah,

that's why this research should not be paralyzing. If you feel led to give somewhere that maybe doesn't make a dent a on the grading scale, that doesn't mean you shouldn't give it to them. The other one is examined the charity's finances, So one C three's will have transparent finances.

You will be able to see their finances, and then they want you to make sure the charity is accountable and transparent, So make or their open book follow good governance, and then they are less likely to engage in unethical or irresponsible activities. Again, there's always going to be overhead of your dollar will not go to your cause. Nonprofits do not attract the best of the best. That's why

they have the PSLF program for student loan forgiveness. But if you can attract a better person that does better fundraising or designs better programs or YadA YadA, I mean you have to pay them a little bit more to make the dollar stretch further, then you can get a better return on your investment. But obviously you don't wants of your dollar going to overhead. There is a balance. Number Three on here is to discuss results and impact. So this is part of that idea of getting involved

in the charity. Maybe it doesn't necessarily mean volunteering, but being connected to the organization too, even before you start giving, to talk about what are some of the accomplishments, goals

and challenges of this nonprofit. What are they facing and if they're able to have that conversation with you and be able to give you some of their statistics, some of what they've learned as they've gone where they're hoping to be in the next year, that's the kind of place that you're going to want to give your money to.

If they're also intentional about what they're doing, how they're doing it, well, their awareness of whether or not they're meeting their goals, that's another good way to measure if it's a nonprofit that is yeah worth investing in. The fourth one is considered the way you give. So it says create a budget for how much you can or would like to give and then see if if you want to give more than Maybe you give of your time.

Maybe you space out your gifts throughout the year so you can make them quarterly or monthly, and that can increase the amount you can give. Maybe you can give of your social influence. I know that a lot of people in the financial independence community and personal finance writers and bloggers, they listen to the show and so use your influence in whatever capacity that is to be an advocate for the cause that you are passionate about. It

doesn't have to just be monetary. But also you don't have to be debt free to give, and I would argue you should not wait until your debt free to give. What you give now is proportionate to what you will give when you're debt free, and so you may not give as much, but you are much more likely to give generously and live that type of lifestyle if you

start small now. And lastly is to follow up on your investment, So checking back in with the charity or non profit that you have decided to invest in and see how they're doing now. I have a love hate relationship with this one. To be honest, I do think that it's worthwhile to see, Hey, what's going on? How are you all doing. There's a couple of things that I want to say on this one, coming from my own experience as a fundraising coordinator and having worked in

the nonprofit world for many, many years. Let's see, metrics is a difficult thing when it comes to particularly providing care to people. So if you are giving to a nonprofit that is caring for various populations, right, So I'm not necessarily talking about your medical nonprofits or basically anything that doesn't deal with people. But when we are talking about people, we are not products, we are not black and white. It's complicated helping people and the ways in

which we measure success with people can vary. Our definitions of what makes a person successful can vary, and I will say that my own definition has shifted dramatically through my time of caring for people. And we're never done right. A person has never arrived, especially when they're intersecting with

an organization at their place of sometimes deepest need. So be aware of your own standards of what how you measure success in an organization or in the life of a human being, and whether or not that means that you're going to give your money, just be careful. And

this is part of the engagement and research process. As you consider organizations that are serving populations that you're particularly interested in and desiring to meet needs, read some books about it, learn what it is to care for that specific population, how organizations have measured quote unquote success with that population, and be kind in your assessments of nonprofits.

And also, if I can say in our check ins, like if we've decided, all right, we've put this organization through the ringer, now we're giving of our money, I would encourage all of us to come from the approach of first and foremost support that you've already vetted this organization. You've now decided to invest and so first approach it from a perspective of how can I support you? I want to know. I want to read your newsletters, Like,

actually read the newsletter. Somebody is putting their time and energy into updating you on things, so read them. If the nonprofit that you've already invested in financially is struggling in a certain way, before so quickly pulling out, consider is there another way that I can support this nonprofit to be able to continue to meet its objectives, its mission and vision. The way that this article is written can be It's to me sounds a little harsh, like

do the ser of your money? Okay, then go ahead and if not, immediately pull out. My goodness, when we've got people who are constantly pulling out their money because they see one or two things that don't meet our standards, that's what can really hurt organizations in the long run in doing some of this good work. So yeah, let's be aware of our own assumptions and biases, and let's approach from a perspective of support rather than a critical

I absolutely thank you for that. That's wise, and not a lot of people outside of the nonprofit like world think about that, myself included. But people are impacted and they're not quantifiable. Their progress is not quantifiable. So it is important to to an extent go with your gut. But I always go with my gut on this one. It's the best time of the week. It's the bill of THO. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and

his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's built buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week. Hi, Jen and Gel, this is Shawnnie from South Carolina. I've been I found your podcast and I've been binge listening to it for a motivation to pay down debt, and your podcast motivated me for my bill of the week, which is a bill I no longer have, which is my direct TV bill.

I canceled my direct TV bill because I realized we don't even watch direct TV. We watch Netflix and we watch Hulu, and that's ten dollars a month that we can now put towards paying down our debt. It's crazy that it took me this long to cancel this bill, but I've done it now, so that's my Bill of the weak. Thanks guys. Yes, Shawnny from South Carolina. This is amazing. I am proud of you. I'm honored. Yes,

thank you for binge listening. Thank you my favorite kind of binge yes listening to this And I'm so glad to hear of the way that this podcast has inspired you. And that's no small thing. It continues to astound me how much TV like cable, direct TV you name it costs when you can get entertainment for a fraction of that amount. But I think a lot of times we just don't think about it so well done, and that

that's no small amount. That's over a thousand dollars that you now get to put towards your debt over something that you weren't even using. Good job, good job girl. I encourage everyone, even if you think you don't have any recurring bills that you don't use or know about, go look through your transactions. Go look and look at those recurring ones and say, do I really use that?

Ask yourself and even if you don't have a recurring charge, you might find a charge that wasn't supposed to be there, that's happened to me multiple times, And then you can ask would this be better in the hands of my favorite charity that supports my favorite cause. There you go from guilt for you call me your mama because I'm sending you own a guilt trip. Oh thanks so much

for your bill. If you want to leave us your bill of the week, whether you reduced a TV bill or any other kind of bill, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill. We'd love to hear it. Now it's time for round. So this is that line in the sand I was talking about. We're going to talk about our charitable giving goals. Give it to me, girl. We can't hold each other accountable because we accountability partners, business partners, boss ladies, accountability googers, that's us. Call me

an accountability guru. So before we started recording, I set up a monthly donation of fifty dollars per month to a nonprofit called a Door of Hope and it is a foster care licensing organization in my county. Because I want to give more to support foster family and kids experiencing trauma as a result of separation. So that is when I'm super passionate about and I have decided to go deeper in that area. So there are a few other nonprofits locally that I want to financially give to.

This is just the start, but all in the realm of either supporting kids in foster care or supporting foster families so that they feel supported and can continue on as foster families, because that is the rate at which we lose foster families because of how insane the system is. Cannot keep up with the need we have for children. So that is what I'm passionate about, and that is my goal in to increase my giving locally to that system. I now that this is not part of our lightning round.

This is just me being curious and your accountability guru, how did this conversation go with you and Travis? Like? How have you navigated your charitable goals as a couple? Well, Jill, it's funny you should ask, because I made the donation. I didn't tell him because he's sleeping. He's going to find out when this episode there's when he wakes up, I will tell him, but I needed to do it before we hit record, So hopefully he'll respond more kindly

than to your purchase of a newspaper subscription. Oh my gosh, I was thinking about that too. If you did not hear it, I don't even remember what episode it was talking about, but I got super stressed during Quarantine about how news organizations were underfunded and trying to get out all this news about COVID, and then everyone was like, we need how we need money? And I was like, ah, and so I just impulse bot Impulse generosity newspapers subscription.

I don't read the newspaper, And Travis was like, you don't read the newspaper. We don't even really like our newspaper. So I got a refund. Oh, but I have been talking about foster care since our first date and since we do plan to start the process to become foster parents next year, but we're not sure what time next year, whether it's gonna be early, mid late. So up until that point I can give financially. Yes, he knows it's coming, right, and he's a great dad and he loves kids, so

this will probably go over better than the newspaper. Subscribe to him on our first date. If he wasn't open to it, that we couldn't go further. And he didn't say anything, and so I'm gonna take that as a yes. It's been six years and he hasn't said anything, So that's what he gets, alright, your turn, Jill. So we

give and have given ten percent of our income. It's just a practice that Eric and I have done since the beginning of our marriage, and so my goal is to continue doing this and keep giving temper cent our income, and our hope, our goals is to continue to be generous with our hosting of people. Now that we have a home and it's not on wheels and it's not super tiny, to continue to have people come stay with us, come have dinner at our place. That's the way that

I enjoy being generous towards other people. So I look forward to that outlet and expression of myself. I will say that for me personally, I know we've talked a lot about nonprofits and giving to nonprofits, but for me, personally, I like to give outside of nonprofits to just individ jewels and families that are in need that I know of and that are in my community and my neighborhood. So of our income goes to that as a need arises.

Because we already have that money set aside, we are able to respond to need as it arises out of that fund essentially, So that's how I approach it. I think that both are fine. I have just recognized that there's a large percentage of people that do give to nonprofits, and sometimes if individuals are not connected to a nonprofit and might not receive services through a nonprofit, I like to be able to respond to those lesser known needs.

I love that about you because you are an intentional giver, and you look for opportunities to give, so I know that that works for you. I it sounds like a bad person, but I don't look for ways to give. That's I'm just that observant. And then I feel guilty, like I don't give to the homeless people on the side of the road because the ones in our area are actually mean and so, and I don't feel bad about it. But then because I'm not giving to them, I'm like, well, where am I giving? Like, if I'm

not giving to them, what am I giving? And I do I do give money to our church, but I feel like that's different from this type of charitable giving. And so I'm hoping to be more intentional about my giving and following where my donation is going, and you know, not necessarily judging it based on quantifiable numbers and stuff, but following it and becoming the philanthropist. I think it's okay to have giving automated and we don't have to

also know what works for you. Are you the automated giver or you the person that can identify needs every single month and actually follow through with the giving. Because I could say I'm going to do that and for sure not do it because I know because I have tried. But yeah, figure out who you are and embrace that. Don't try to be something else. Yeah, how you want

to respond to need. We all have different interests, we all have different amounts of money we can give, we all have different ways we want to give, and it's all necessary to care for everyone around us, in our community and and abroad. So figure out what that is for you. And it's okay to trial and error it. It's okay to change your mind on some of these things or add more charitable giving to it. But yeah,

do something. Start small and engage with us in our Frugal Friends community group on Facebook about what this has looked like for you, what your goals are for the coming year, and just inspire one another to keep giving of our time, energy and resource. Says to those around us, it helps us and it helps others. A men to dat And this is the last time I will mention it.

If you want to get that free debt free Christmas planner, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash holiday and you can even keep track of some of your giving too. If you want to have a giving goal for the holiday season, you can keep that in there too, and thank you so much for listening. We value you so much and we want to thank you for your listening and your kind reviews on iTunes and Stitcher like this one.

It says thank you for the confidence. It's from Danny dog Mama and she says, I went from eighty thousand joint income to thirty three thousand single income. I budgeted for years, but I knew I wanted to get out of debt. This podcast is helpful to myself because I can listen to real women that have a real understanding of what people go through. They give tips on how to change and you're thinking or doing in situations. I'm

so thankful to come across this podcast. I was able to make realistic goals to pay off my debt on a single income, and I've been able to cut more of my budget hashtag no spend challenge. These women also gave me the confidence to do so. Thank you so much. Oh Danny, my heart, thank you. That's amazing. Wow, that's quite a cut in an income, and yet to still keep chugging away and not let it derail you on your goals and to continue doing what you've got to do.

That's well done, very well done, and thanks for your kind review. We also want to thank our friends who share these episodes on social media, So when you share the latest episode and tag us on Facebook or Instagram, we're adding you to our monthly drawing. For every five tags and reviews we get each month, we give away

one copy of the Frugal Friends workbook. A men, So keep leaving us reviews on iTunes or Stitcher and sending a screenshot to Frugal Friends Podcast at gmail dot com, and then don't forget to tag us at Frugal Friends Podcast on social See you next week. I Frugal Friends is produced, edited and mixed by Eric Sirian Jill Yes. Favorite Thanksgiving food mm hmm, sweeper tatter castrole. Very good,

very very good. What about you green bean casserole with those crispy onions on tom that's another fan fave, but it's got to be canned green beans. Yeah, you're right, it definitely does. Definitely, thank you. I normally would not say that, but yes, I've not had a green bean casserole that's like fresh that I'm like, yeah, this is so good, Oh my god, it's just got to be all the bags and cans. Everything has to be from a can. Everything. Oh Thanksgiving. I gotta say, though I

don't like turkey. I don't think most people are. It's one of those weird traditions. And I'm like, can we just do barbecue? Okay? So on lunch meat turkey is all I buy. That's so true. Instead of ground beef, I often buy ground turkey, and I think it's great. But doing a whole turkey I did one year go to a friends giving where the host fried to turkey, and I have to say that that was actually delicious, kind of like a Cajun spice, very moist. Normally I

don't like that word, but here it's fitting. I know my brother in law has tried several times to fry turkey and he has not yet gotten it right. And I was a vegetarian for ten years, and so I skipped turkey for ten years. A good move, because you know what, you still got that green being casserole and that sweep and yeah, and that macheese. I got it all. I got it all. Everything good about Thanksgiving I could have as a vegetarian, and just saved a crap ton

of money on groceries. So that's the moral of that story. Yeah, man from a Can, Thanksgiving in a Can best way.