Episode four forty five. I deserve mentality is financially toxic.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and liver a your life. Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are talking about this mentality that we often have to rationalize or justify purchases, where we say to ourselves, I deserve this, I deserve And we're going to flip it on its head a little because a lot of the times when people say, no, you don't deserve that if you can't afford it, where we say, no, you actually deserve more than what you
think you deserve. And by the end of this episode, we want you to understand why and why this I deserve mentality is actually limiting you from what you truly deserve.
Yeah, not to say that you don't deserve anything, you deserve it, or are not worthy or worthwhile, and we'll get into that, but kind of poking some holes in the ways in which we kind of talk to ourselves allow ourselves to enjoy little pleasures, little treats.
But first, this episode is brought to you by little fires everywhere. No, not the book or the TV show, but the internal fires you are putting out every day. If you feel like the decision of what to buy and what not to buy is one of those little fires, then have we got a hose for you. Buy what you Love Without Going Broke is our book on values based spending. It will help you navigate how to spend
money without guilt or brokeness. So head to buy What youlovebook dot com to pre order your copy and you'll get all the free gifts that come with pre ordering. And we have some classes coming up about saving money on transportation, saving money on home renovations, rent home buying, and then our two favorites are at the very end, building a full year meal plan and a full year spending plan. So buy What you Loovebook dot com. These are free classes, free demonstrations you will not want to miss.
It's the hose you you didn't know you needed.
Is that? Yeah, that drink of cool water from at the end of the summers, at the end of summer, putting out those little fires that are everywhere.
I've been having fun with these live events too, these little incentives and bonuses for pre ordering the book. They've been enjoyable because the best part is we're not telling people anything. You're not joining, so we can hopefully get you to do something for us. This is our thank you to you for having bought the book, and it's just as so fun.
Yes, So if you are interested in kind of spending psychology and spending mindset, then we have a ton of episodes for you. We also have distilled it into our book by what youlovebook dot com, but some episodes you can queue up in the meantime while you're waiting for the book to ship. Episode three eighty three Overcoming Emotional Spending with Megan Dwyer and episode three ninety seven how
cognitive biases cause us to overspend with Amanda Montel. That was a very fun one, uh, And I love talking about complexity bias and how it causes us to always try to add more to solve our problems instead of just simplifying all the time. Even still like me today, I still will initially just try to add something to solve the problem, and I have to stop myself and
just contemplate simplicity first. So it's always good to have the reminder, even when you feel like you know the answer to have a reminder a good, good thing.
But stick with us here because we're talking about something
a little bit spicy here. The article we're going to go through is by Katie Rossler, and it is titled questioning Your Worth the I Deserve This fallacy, and she essentially talks through this mindset of I deserve this, that thought that creeps in when maybe we're eyeing up purchasing a new outfit, or contemplating celebrating with an expensive meal, or binge watching our favorite TV show instead of going to bed when we really probably deserves sleep, and really
talks a lot about kind of growing up in the United States. I know we have listeners all over, but the majority of you are in the US, and I think we see this mindset most prevalent here in the States of using this mentality to kind of give freedom or find leeway. There really isn't a whole lot of freedom to it, actually, but it's what makes us feel like justification in making some of these decisions that can
ultimately not actually be great for our wallets. They're not creating the greatest of habits for us, and can kind of lead to this exchange that we then enter into with ourselves. I think that's the biggest hole to poke here is that we then see it as oh, I have to earn this thing. I need to be able to deserve it in order to have it.
Yeah. I think for me, it's important to remember that the things that we just take for granted that are socially acceptable to purchase or to just have or consume never naturally got there. The things that our cultural norms always started out as marketing campaigns. So even down to like eating eggs at breakfast, people didn't just come over to America eating eggs at breakfast. That was a marketing campaign from I guess egg, Big Egg, from Big Egg,
from Big Chicken. I don't know, but it was a marketing campaign either either by that or by the bake, by Big Bake, and I'm not I don't remember. But and it's the same with it. I deserve mentality. The marketing campaigns that say you you deserve it, you deserve this, you deserve that. They are for decades and decades, different companies have been using it. And so that's how it's so ingrained in us. It's not something that is just
natural to our humanity. So recognizing that first and foremost, then you can move on from that and be like, Okay, this may feel natural, it's not natural. It's normal, and so we don't have to go we don't have to go against what's natural to go against what's normal.
And that's not to say that we are discounting at all intrinsic value or worth. It's recognizing that a lot of times, the I deserve this mentality is attaching value or worth to having achieved something first in order to deserve it, right, I had to have a long day in order to allow myself to binge watch TV. I have to have already deprived myself so much from buying new things that now I feel like I deserve this treat of a new outfit. I have to feel as
though I haven't. I've practically starved myself, so now I deserve. So it's usually the unhealthy way of approaching this mentality is it's attached to our deeds and whether or not we've done enough to then give ourselves this type of reward. But the problem with then the types of rewards that we attach to it is that it's creating overspending, impulse spending. Some of these unhealthy habits for ourselves are our sleep, our nutrition, and it can ultimately lead to overall dissatisfaction.
It doesn't actually land at the what we truly do deserve. And so I think, as with all things, finding that radical middle of detaching ourselves from this I deserve mentality without letting go of the recognition that we do have intrinsic worth and value. There are things we deserve. They just don't need to be attached to a near of what have you done?
What have you accomplished?
Yeah, and on the same same wavelength, realizing that what you deserve is more than a little treat, what you deserve is more than this thing someone is marketing you too. We use it. That just made me think of like, we use a lot of rationalization to justify our actions and our purchases. And I have been waiting on this new laptop backpack for several weeks. I don't have Amazon Prime, so I don't have two day shipping, so I've had
to wait. And I keep telling people about this and slipping up and saying like, yeah, I needed a new laptop backpack, when in reality I didn't need it. I we say need to justify, like we have to earn our you know, our purchases in some way. The fact was is I wanted a new laptop backpack. The one I I have right now is disintegrating. I never zip up my backpacks, so this one just flaps all the way open, and the one I bought, like, even if I don't zip it up, it'll still kind of stay closed.
And I wanted that, And there's nothing wrong with wanting things. And so so often we use words like uh oh, I need to upgrade this, or like I need you know, a new this or that or a bigger this, or I deserve this because I did this, Like we can separate our needs and what we quote unquote deserve, Like we have to take those words almost out of the equation to really be neutral about what we're buying.
And give space to be able to spend on wants. It's not about only spending on needs or only achieving something that you feel you deserve, but really recognizing your values are worth, honoring your life is worth, and what is the best way of showing value and honor to your season, to your finances, to your wants and needs? Because those two are very blurry to be honest with you and then be able to allocate in that way rather than kind of attaching it in this more kind
of twisted way. One of the quotes in here that I wanted to highlight that I found pretty helpful in teasing a part this idea. They say, in challenging the I deserve this mindset, we can begin to create a life marked by real enjoyment and well being, which is what we truly deserve. We can break away from the cycle of overspending and unhealthy choices and journey towards a healthier, smarter,
and happier life. We can create the life we have always wanted by no longer giving in to the I deserve this voice.
We are often conditioned to think we deserve things when we deserve so much more, and focusing on those things really does get us to the thing we deserve, not a poor substitute for it.
I also want to highlight some of these helpful questions that they outline in the article on figuring out kind of how to retrain our minds and so. One of them is, where is the I deserve this voice so strong that it takes control.
Of what you do.
So what are the areas in which you find yourself saying I deserve this the most often? And it'll probably be pretty indicative of maybe what's going on in your life at the moment, what feels the most stressful, maybe potentially where your values lie or maybe where your impulse spending happens to be. But asking that first question will
be really enlightening. And then from there considering how has this voice made you question your worth by thinking you deserve things only when you've earned it or you've had a bad day, So how has the voice made you
question that? And again teasing these things apart, Okay, let's talk now about some of the ways that we can think differently because we don't just want to We're not just about deprivation, right or like eliminating something out of our thinking patterns, but then replacing that with things.
Yeah, and that's really the goal of replacing the you know, challenging this I deserve mentality is to replace it with something more positive and healthier. And so we are going to look at another article, and this one is from Fitsvilleferte.
And well done. We don't speak Spanish, but she's trying.
I deserve mentality dealing with this harmful money mindset, and a lot a lot of people, maybe not a lot, I think a lot of people do really talk negatively about the I deserve mindset and really make us feel a lot of shame and guilt. So when we've had a long day and we want to treat ourselves, we feel like guilty for treating ourselves. And so how can we still quote unquote treat ourselves to something that really gets at the root cause of either our exhaustion or
our stress. Thinking about asking those questions like what is happening? Where is this I deserve voice so strong? Why is it strong? But what and what can I do to really treat the root cause and not just the symptom?
Yeah?
Yeah, This article gives I think just two helpful areas to consider. The first is practicality over recklessness. So we're not talking about not care for ourselves or allowing ourselves to engage in things that are going to be life giving or RESTful to us, but really being certain and intentional about what those things are. So they give some helpful examples here of let's say that you know ahead of time this week is going to be pretty stressful
for me. I've got multiple events, important meetings scheduled, and so you have decided that you will care for yourself then at the end of the week by engaging in something that's enjoyable. That may still be carving out time to watch your favorite TV show or eat your favorite meal, whatever it may be. It just is shifting the mindset a bit and detaching it from no, I've earned this,
I deserve this. I'm going to treat myself to how can I best care for myself and meet my needs that I'm anticipating are going to be happening for me. It's not as if all of the actions are even changing that dramatically, but I think the mindset is a massive shift that can be a lot more kind to ourselves and a lot more intentional, giving much more forethought to what will I then need. It's similar to our finances, right, like I see these things coming, how can I prepare
for them? We can't prepare for everything. But what's going to be the best way to meet this need with my money? What's going to be the best way to meet this need with my time? And wherever we can kind of plan ahead and think through rather than having a knee jerk or impulsive reaction. Really measuring ourselves in the same ways that we measure our finances, measuring our emotional and relational capacities and currencies of what will this
cost me? And how can I then care for myself as a result of this, not just because I not I deserve this treat, but I deserve to be cared for. I deserve to meet my needs head on and not kind of grasp for them and take guesses at them and be told what's going to meet my needs to have somebody else tell me what I deserve, like I get to decide that and what's going to most care for me in the midst of whatever my days, weeks, and months hold.
Yeah. Similarly, we deserve to honor our season as well. So maybe it's not an external reward, but maybe it's buying pre prepped froom from the grocery stores that you don't have to cook during a busy week, or not that you don't have to cook, but you don't have to prep you can just throw things on a sheet pan into the oven. Stuff like that. I deserve to have rest with my family and not feel guilty that I'm not cleaning or renovating or doing something like that.
So I think really like reframing this, Yes, okay, I deserve, but what do I deserve? And naming it, writing it down what do I deserve? And it's going to look small at first, but it's going to get bigger the more you practice it. It's something like knowing what you truly deserve comes almost with like in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, like ascending to that self actualization portion, like feeling like
you're living in your full potential. That's kind of where we're getting at when we're practicing you know, what do I deserve? What do I truly deserve? And we've got to practice that a lot before we can get to what is truly going to make me feel like I'm living in my purpose? And so the other point in this article is rewarding yourself with what you truly deserve. And I'll just say so often we only talk about external motivators and external rewards, especially in personal finance, because
those are just the easiest things to talk about. So I have a rough day, So on Friday, I'm going to treat myself to a dinner out on the weekend, I'm going to treat myself to the farmer's market, what have you. But truly, external rewards only last for so long.
The only work for so long. If you've ever tried to go on a diet, if you've ever tried to pay off debt, if you've ever tried to do anything big where you've only prioritized rewarding yourself with external rewards, you'll find that within a few weeks to a few months, it's just not doing it for you anymore. It's not worth doing the hard thing to get that external reward. The only reason we should be pursuing external rewards is to develop internal motivators, so these internal joys that we
will do something for the sake of doing it. So it took me a while to frugality because I didn't like saving money in a bank account for the sake of having big numbers on a screen right for an unknown future. I really love and I'm obsessed with frugality now because I know my actions are really great for the environment, They're really great for my health and my home. To keep it simplified and uncluttered, it helps me with
my schedule. There's less cleaning like there are so many internal benefits that I have recognized over eight years of doing this that now it is a joy for me.
But at first I had to develop that. And so going back to the practicing what you deserve, you can start out with these, you know, little treats if that's something you're doing a lot right now, but just make a plan to phase out of them as you are working on developed almost I don't want to say it's like self worth, but just definitely like knowing more and more like what you deserve.
I think at least making sure what are the little treats attached to. I think this is really similar to our values based spending conversation. Are the coffees, the dinners, the impulse spending? Are they attached to actual values that you have or are they just kind of floating out
and not really truly meeting the need. So again, it could be that you still engage in some of these same practices, but you have a greater level of awareness of why you're doing them, the ways that they are meeting your needs, fulfilling you, or maybe you're deciding that there's shifts you're going to make, there's replacements that are going to happen, because no, it doesn't actually give you
the thing that you deserve. It leaves you feeling like you feel guilt about spending on that, regret purchasing that thing, or it didn't actually provide you the rest that you wanted. And so this is much more of a call to what's actually valuing to us in the ways that we spend our money, and I think even over arching, like as it relates to finances, I deserve to be debt free. I deserve to be able to invest in my retirement accounts. I deserve to be able to afford a roof over
my head. I deserve to be able to purchase healthy, nutritious groceries and a few things that my taste buds just really like. On the side, I deserve I do deserve some chippies with the sandwich chippies.
And so do you that I know you deserve chippies.
Yeah, And I know what that's attached to, and it is just giving myself joy in the middle of the day alongside my lunch.
Well salty crispy joy.
Yeah. And I think when we can create this pause and slow down a little bit and kind of question a little bit of our narrative, what we're saying to ourselves, the reasons that we're allowing ourselves to spend. We can then make those better spending decisions, those better habit decisions that we can feel really good about and actually benefit us.
Do you know what else benefits us every single time?
That we truly deserve that this is a core value of your worthiness.
The bill of the week.
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Best bills Bills, bill claim. This is the bill of the week.
Hi, Jen and Jill, longtime listener, first time caller. I absolutely love these Bill of the weak portion of the podcast, and I've always wanted to submit something. And while my submission isn't necessarily a bill, it is a tip that I wanted to pass on to the Frugal Friends community and share how I was able to get nine hundred and seven dollars and four cents from the Treasury Department. Now I don't remember if I got this tip from the Frugal friends community, but I wanted to check it
out myself before spreading the word. But if everyone goes to missingmoney dot com, they can check this website to see if they have any unclaimed properties that belongs to them. A Missing money dot com is the official unclaimed property website of the National Association of State Measurers. All you need to do is go to this website searched by your name, you know, check to see if there's it might be under former names as well, and what states you've lived in, and see if if you are owed
any money by the Treasury Department. When I looked, I've lived in a couple of states and have various different loans that have been out there. But when I looked, I was able to find nine hundred and seven dollars and four cents from an old car loan and an old apartment leasing company that still owed me funds.
So that was a fun little check to get.
About a month or so after I put was able to verify my identity.
Oh my gosh, we love missing money dot com. We found out about them from Lisa Rowan, who we have had on the show. She is a professional mentor of mine. She proofread our books. She is an author of money hacks and years ago told us about missing money. And I cannot tell tell you how many listeners have listened to that episode and the replay of it we did several years later and have found money on that site. It's not a fluke, it's not a scam. It is legit.
It is the US Department of Treasury's website that they are connecting you to. And it is what happens when people, usually various companies, businesses, organizations, aren't able to reimburse you your money for whatever reason. They don't actually have your address or your contact information anymore. You've stopped service with them too long ago that now that they are realizing that they owe you back certain amounts of money, and so
it then gets just reported to the US Treasury. There is I want to say, is it millions of dollars of kind of like unclaimed funds. It's huge. It's a lot of money that is unclaimed. And nearly everyone that I know who has checked out the website, either they or a friend or family member, has this missing money. And it's very similar examples to what are below. The wee caller just shared, like insurance reimbursements, or you canceled out a credit card and then you got a refund,
or your landlord owed you money back. Who knows what it is, but this is then where that money gets reported to, and once you can verify your identity, you get a check in the mail.
In active stock and brokerage accounts. On claim safe deposit button boxes, they say there are millions of properties, so not like actual homes or anything, but millions of claims totaling billions of dollars. They reclaimed three billion in paid claims in the last year, and one in seven people have unclaimed property. Two thousand dollars eighty dollars is the
average claim value. So if you have not been to missing money dot com, get in there, get your money, and use twenty five dollars of that money to head to Buy what you Love book dot com and buy our book as a thank you. Please.
I was going to say leave us a review as a thank you if you've gotten money, but I like that one.
Yeah, we've essentially paid for the book.
Yes, if you learn the tip from us, that's the way you can just give us a little bit of a thank you, a little bit of a kickback.
It's not required. We're still our friend, but it's the nice thing for a friend to do.
If you are listening and you have a bill that you want to share it. If it's about finding missing money or paying off a bill or a bill you don't mind paying, or your name is Bill, we want to hear from you. Frugal Friends Podcast dot com slash Bill. We can't wait for it. And now it's time for.
The lightning round.
We should do a friend letter about missing money. Yeah, if you guys have ideas for friend letters. Wednesdays is our saving hacks email and so we do stuff like this on Wednesdays. If you have freebies that you know of, you got to give it to us a little. That's a little harder because those are a little more timely. But that's Mondays. So we are totally open. Jill at Frugal Friends podcast dot com.
Yeah, that's my emails she's given out.
Given you hers, not mine because it's not my forte anymore.
Yeah, no, please do email me.
All right, today's lightning round. What is the most recent thing you thought you deserved? So it didn't have to be something you bought, but you just like thought you deserved.
It, Jill oh Man, I was going to tell you to go first.
Ooh. I don't know if I thought I deserve this. I did buy a Starbucks drink through the drive through last week. So kindergarten. It's the third week of kindergarten and the last we had out of ten days only of the first two weeks, only one did kind of not kick and scream, and then this week he did it one day and today was the third day in a row that he went in on his own, and
my gosh, like so proud. But so last week I was kind of at the height of my because it's just me getting both kids ready in the morning and I go to bed dreading waking up, like having to drag him into a place he doesn't want to be. And I was at my breaking by this time last week. And I deserved a little treat.
Yeah, And did you get yourself a little I.
Did, yeah. And so that's like when seasons are short, and it's like a six dollar treat like once you know, like I'm not I know what the root cause of my stress was, and I just had to wait it out right, and I gave myself a little treat in that it's not like an unhealthy coping mechanism I have every single Thursday. So there's a difference in that, and so so yeah, I think maybe that is I didn't
justify it because I deserve it. I justified it because I knew, like, dang it, this has been a rough two weeks, and I'm going to reward myself with like a little coffee. And then I just I left my family and walked around publics.
Where did you leave your family?
I don't know the road?
The children, Oh gotcha? Okay, yeah, they were being parented, but.
Have a father to they have a father.
Sure.
That's why this conversation is so nuanced, though, because we aren't saying that we can't reward ourselves or we can't celebrate. I think it's really just pairing it with the intentionality and the preparation for it, knowing this is coming up, and I'm giving myself permission to spend or do X y Z in light of these things, rather than this kind of constant habitual, I deserve this, And then it's
not even a treat anymore. We just have talked ourselves into spending, spending, spending, and it never actually hits the root of the now.
I knew the route and I was pursuing the route, but en route to that destination which it seems like we've gotten to, there was just the pick me up that I wanted, not needed, I wanted it and I did it for me.
Yeah, I think I experienced as healthy of a version of that I deserve this as possible recently, like where I've kind of come to. I am definitely a person who typically has a hard time kind of receiving things or spending money on myself. So I think for me, some of the the barriers are like allowing myself that opportunity to be able to receive something or spend on something. So it's just my birthday. A couple of weeks ago, and Eric and I went out to a pretty expensive restaurant.
It was a steakhouse that people said is really good, and I knew we were.
Going to spend a significant amount of money on dinner and we did, and it did feel like kind of guilt free. But I will say I kind of used that like I don't know if I actually said like I deserve this, but it was something along those lines of maybe and maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was the like flipping the script of it's it's okay to value myself in this way.
I don't think the Lightning Round is using deserved as like a negative term.
Uh huh.
I think like I.
Mean, I wrote the question.
Usually Goldie writ thing. I know, I know, I don't know what the author's intend, but I don't do you deserve it was for your birthday?
Yeah, but I think that I'm actually reworking the wording right, speaking of wording to be I yeah, I it's okay to value myself like this. I have permission to enjoy this. I really enjoy a good steak. I think it's hard to make good steak. It's not something I'm the best at at home. So to be able to spend on that and celebrate this milestone of being middle aged, now.
Here's something fun. I was a vegetarian for ten years, and today I think that the one thing that I make that Travis likes more than anything is steak. I make a really good steak. Yeah yeah, And Travising says, so he usually says nothing about my cooking, and.
He just keeps his mouth shut and eats the food.
Yes, And he actually has nice things to say about my steak.
Yeah.
Well, we also asked this question in the friend letter. It wasn't linked in this in this email, but I'm trying to pull it up in eight twenty six's email this poll. If you can try and find it, Jen, I'll review what question we asked to all of you. So if you're not getting the friend letter, definitely sign up for it. For Goal Friends podcast, we're.
In your email.
Like Jen said, let me know what kind of topics you want us to cover in the friend letter. Send me an email. But we put a poll at the end of them that we usually try in reference in our episode. So the most recent question that we asked related to this concept is what what do you feel your most deserving of?
This was funny.
So the options were a good night's sleep, a healthy meal twenty dollars, or a clean kitchen.
What did the people say, did you like?
Whelmingly? Everyone deserves a good night sleep.
That's amazing.
Yeah, overwhelmingly, And then the second by a large margin, not even close, was a clean kitchen?
Interesting? What would you have said?
I deserve it all? Yeah, that's what I say. There was no option for all of the above.
I one all of them.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I feel.
I mean, I am really motivated by money. I would have probably said it twenty dollars. Nothing would thrill me more than just to find twenty dollars on the ground.
I'm always on the lookout, you know this. I'm always looking for money.
It's funny, like some of the answers, because you can you can give an explanation after you answer a poll. One of them was, like, I had a hard time with this question because my first impulse was to look for a nothing option, because very often we feel like we don't deserve anything, that we have to work for everything.
The message of us and that's not getting out of it. I deserve this mentality. We're not saying that. We're saying just focus it accurately, aim it accurate.
And the truth is there should have been an all option because we are worthy of and deserve all of these things. So yeah, I think it's important that we really do look get how we think about what do what do I deserve simply because I exist, and not looking at it in a way of like I only deserve what I work for, or like I have to
justify everything. I purchase with these words like I deserve or I need you know, so, I hope that's the biggest takeaway from this episode and that we will when you're catching yourself saying something like oh my gosh, I so need this today or I'm going to do this because I deserve it, really think about do you is this what you deserve or do you deserve something bigger? Do you need something bigger? Are you selling yourself short because of culturally like what is normal.
And the way that you care for yourself needs to be be bigger, more congruent with your actual needs and values. Thanks so much everyone for listening. We also are so grateful for all of your kind reviews like this run from Halims says best budget Podcast Happens to Be five stars one of my favorite podcasts to binge. Every episode leaves me feeling inspired to work on my financial journey and I walk away with new non cliche tips and advice that is obtainable for me to apply in my
everyday life. I look forward to every new episode. Yay you Halms's kind.
Well, then I hope you really loved this one. Yes, thank you so much for listening, and if you really enjoyed this episode, please take a minute to leave a rating and review. It helps potential new listeners know what they're getting these non cliche you know, ways to really optimize our consumption.
Yes, see you next time.
Grugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni Jill.
Yes.
All right, we are in prime pumpkin season. We were just talking about this recently. Okay, yes, end of September. Yes, so let's talk about pumpkin flavors, sense fall. Where do you lie on the spectrum.
I don't hate pumpkin, but I am not obsessed with pumpkin. Okay, I will probably not go out of my way to engage in anything pumpkin. But if someone offers me something pumpkin, I'm here for it.
Okay, get out of my life now I'm talking to you.
You're you're actually obligated for me to knock.
Get out of your life. Okay, here to stay back in.
I am, I am macro, I'm basic podcaster, and I love all things pumpkin. I'm here for pumpkin coffees, pumpkin breads, pumpkin donuts, pumpkin overnight oats which we made on our meal prepping live if you pre ordered the book. You can still get that recording of our live meal prep demonstration that we did where I made pumpkin overnight oats live. I love pumpkin and pumpkin combined with a little cinnamon, nutmeg like just those you know, quote unquote pumpkin spices. It sends me.
Now back to one of your points that you made earlier, Was it in this podcast or another one?
Who's to say?
When everything that? How did you phrase it? Something like everything that.
We now know truly normal.
Is culturally normal now has been marketed to.
Us started as a marketing campaign.
And holy smokes, could I say that that's true about this? But you made a statement while we were doing our meal prep live session for those who had pre ordered our book by what youlovebook dot com about how you apart from that, you just love pumpkin. And I want to know, do you think you would have found pumpkin and loved pumpkin as much if it hadn't have been for all these marketing campaigns?
What a great question. Probably not. I think the marketing definitely normalized pumpkin because pumpkins by salates aren't even my favorite pumpkin thing. I don't really order them, and those were really the gateway for everyone to accept pumpkin as culturally normal, and I just view it as a blessing. Marketing is not evil. Sometimes marketing paves the way for a better future. Sure, you know, like pumpkin spice lattes walked so Trader Joe's could run with pumpkin, and I'm
here for it. I go to Trader Joe's like twice a year, and I'm about to make my biannual pilgrimage.
You are on today. You're making me last so much.
I just love I. Like I can't wear scarves and flannels and uggs, Like I can't be that basic bee because it's Florida, but like pumpkin is in for me.
Here's the thing.
The Fall aesthetic just has been marketed to such an extreme too that I wonder if there could be movements for other seasons to get people on board. Some of it might just be okay, what came first. I mean, it feels as though it's culturally normal now that just Caucasian females love fall. They're just in love with Fall, and I.
Feel like it's the marketing love summer tactic.
But it's not to this same degree that fall has just vomited everywhere this time of year, Like we don't get that with any other just season, Like you've got the holiday seasons and whatever, that's its whole other category. But what if we could enter into spring, summer, and winter with this same fervor and vigor that fall has been marketed to us. And now it's getting me thinking
what could those things be? Like, Okay, yes, people love watermelon in the summer, but I don't think watermelons getting its time in the sun in the same way that pumpkin is.
Well, summer is also an odd season here in Florida. I think up north people savor it far poll they hate fall.
Fall doesn't look the same all over either, though, And we've got this esthetic to fall.
Yeah, fall doesn't exist in Florida. And maybe that's why I love fall marketing, because I rely on Starbucks to tell me when fall has started. I do, and once the pumpkin stuff comes out, then I know it's fall. Otherwise it's just less hot summer yeah, or rainy summer.
Yeah.
I just want to be introduced to new things, like I want different squashes and I want more fruits. Okay, you have their time.
While we still have our Sam's Club membership. October fifteenth, they have just gotten their autumn squash soup, which is kind of a copycat from Panera of the best soup that ever existed. Whoa, it's a pumpkin squash soup. Stop its bottomn squash?
Is it? Is it?
Pup?
I just said I wanted other squashes, and you come at me with pumpkin again.
And squash. Pumpkin's a gor It's oh right, pumpkin is a gourd.
I don't know they're all the same.
But it's also got other squashes in it besides pumpkin.
Uh huh. But they really wanted to highlight the pumpkin.
I'm just I'm just advocating for some newness, some freshness. I think the marketing campaigns need need need a refresh.
I really do think you need to try that autumn squash soup.
It's okay, yeah, I'd love to. That's I said. I'm not gonna hunt it down, but if it's offered to me, I'm not. I don't hate it, I'm here for it. I just I want to put these these concepts into practice for other seasons like fall and pumpkins aren't the only thing that exists that bring us joy.
This is so true. Caramel, apples, apples, I think they had their decades like apples just did it, and then people got tired of apples, and now it's pumpkins turn. So give pumpkin.
It's time, Jill, Pumpkin's been here for about five years.
I want to say, I want to say, when what's what would be winter? What could that bring?
Peppermint? Okay, it's peppermint everything. Eggnog, that's so true.
Oh, I love it.
I also rely on Starbucks to tell me what flavors define each season.
You're going to be proud of us. Speaking of eggnog, we do.
Love that knock.
Every year we get Evan Williams eggnog. It's already spiked and it is the best thing on about the market Evan Williams.
But they sell out. So we got this past last literally last.
Year, around the holidays, we got two of these bottles because we were thinking we're gonna be hosting people. We love this. This is a way that that we enjoy celebrating. And we did not finish the second bottle, but kept it in the fridge and we're like, this is alcohol, it really doesn't It kind of preserves it.
It doesn't so bad.
But it now has sat there since December twenty twenty three.
It is August when we are recording.
Hu is still in the fridge until yesterday, because we're thinking, I don't know, well we ever have a hangering for eggnog, not in the dead of Floridas fo to summer.
It has not happened.
I have thought about it several times, like when I've been over here, it's like it's so good, Like should I should I?
Yeah?
And then Eric finally looked up yesterday, Okay, how long does this specific stuff last? And it does say opened in the fridge lasts up to six months, but we are far past that. We are about two to three months past that six month mark. It smelled fine still, but we were like, but we're not going to drink it now, and what when it comes Christmas time this year?
Are we going to feel good about it even if it smells fine? Probably not? And so what did we waste ten dollars? But we finally dumped it. We made room in our fridge.
Yeah, so you will no longer I'm seeing that you wasted in your kitchen. I did not let go of it, but also couldn't drink it, couldn't live with it, couldn't.
Live without it.
Classic.
Oh but bring back the eggnog this this winter.
I can't wait for it this season