How to Say 'No' to Impulse Purchases

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Let's get down to it. We asked you guys about it in the friend Letter that is our three time weekly newsletter where we share freebies and saving tips and even excerpts from the book, excerpts about values based spending, and we ask you one, are you most likely to impulse by late night on the phone, in person at the store, when you're with other people, when you're stressed, other and y'all had some interesting answers, but it was a very evenly space between all of these options when

I'm stressed or excited, edged out slightly, but like, really, everyone struggles with impulse spending for a different reason. I would say, even the people if I was taking the poll, which I didn't because I would skew it my one answer. If I took the poll, I could answer all of these. So I'm sure, we're definitely going to cover all four of these options, but only six people chose other and uh, we don't know what any of those responses are.

up after this. We've got episode four oh eight What Happens when You Stop Impulse Shopping, and then episode three fifty one Impulse Buying What it is and how to Stop. So those episodes we do cover some articles on the internet and we have some spicy tape. It might be interested in queueing them up after this.

ways that we can choose differently. So wherever you find yourself in that kind of questionnaire, or as we talk about these reasons that we impulse by identifying which one's your impulse buying kind of kryptonite, which one are you most drawn to, and what can you do as a result. I love something that you've said Jen quite a bit in the past, just to start the episode off, is we all do it, and our friend letter poll proves that we all impulse by maybe some of us more

than others, but it happens to all of us. And I think it's important to recognize that there is a reason behind our impulse buying, and there's a reason that is not easy to just stop, even though we might not feel great about the purchase afterward, or there might be some guilt attached to it, or we wish that we could put money towards these other goals that we have, but instead we find ourselves just one click buying or filling our cart with more than what was on our

shopping list. And I think to recognize that it's not because oh, we're so weak or we're too easily influenced. There's a whole lot going on behind the scenes when it comes to marketing and advertising that is playing into the ways that our brains are wired. How we think about things are cognitive biases, which we'll get a little bit more into that as we go along, But it's worth noting at the top of this episode that there's nothing wrong with you if impulse buy, it's very normal.

We probably will not be able to stop impulse buying all together. But the more we can equip ourselves with the knowledge and information around why it happens, the ways in which we're prone to impulse by, the better able we are to interrupt it, choose something differently, and feel a lot more confident about the ways that we're managing our money exactly.

other ones. And it's habit spending, because so often I have found that even in talking about impulse spending and talking about overconsumption, day after day after day, I still fall prey to I will I will go to Starbucks and do a drive through like treat for my son, and then maybe just do another treat next week, and then maybe the next week, maybe I do one with him, and maybe I do just one with me, And it slowly kind of spirals from this special thing I was

doing with my son to a habit of ending up in the drive through. And so mine is usually coffee, but like it could be anything, it could be escaping to target or you know, anytime there's a sale, like there's there's so many things, and we'll talk about these roots of impulse spending, but ultimately, if we first understand habits and habit spending, then we can better understand how each of these other roots evolve. And so a lot

of you have heard of the habit Luke. We have talked about it so much on this podcast, and we love there's two I think two main kind of theories in the habit loop. So Q craving response reward is the typical one, but then you could also just Q Q craving reward, and so it doesn't matter which one you look at. Honestly, I think if you just look at the Q, we know the craving the response to the reward. Because we're talking about spending. I think we just have to look at the Q so don't make

it super complicated. That's where the ninety day transaction inventory comes in. And when you put all of your past transactions out on the table, on the spreadsheet wherever you have it, and you're looking for patterns, you're looking for the queues are specifically what you are looking for. So if you are making a lot of coffee purchases at a certain time of day, like on your way to work, that could be location. It could be preceding event leaving

your house, it could be time of day morning. You'll find that usually these purchases won't just have one trigger, won't have just one queue, but you need to identify at least one queue for each of the patterns so that you can start to say, Okay, the pattern is I leave my house to go to work and I stop at Starbucks on the way. I obviously cannot change the location because that would involve changing either my house or my work.

many that can be interrupted. I know that was a long ramble, I'm so sorry, or the.

that you would want to purchase. So I still think it's worth looking at, but also recognize that that habit spending can happen even apart from a coffee example, but recognizing whether or not it's something that's happening just out out of it's just what you're accustomed to doing, versus intentional choices that are being made. The second most common reason that we impulse by is shopping as an activity this one, for me is one of my kryptonites personally.

I grew up going to the mall on the weekends for fun, when I'm together with friends or my mom, just going to a store window shopping as we often call it. But we are always going into the stores and walking around and usually buying something, allowing the shelves and the racks to inform us on what we want to spend our money on that day, not really going in with a list, it's just something to do that afternoon or that weekend. And so I think, what can

happen here in shifting If this is your circumstances. If you're finding yourself just at the store but no list in hand, no real reason to be there, you just don't know what else to do, it's worthwhile to list out what could be some alternative activities, because with any of these that we're talking about, the way to say no to impulse purchases is not simply to stop and say no. It's to find replacements. It's to find alternatives.

We have to give ourselves something else to do, a way to value whatever needs are going on for us, and not just deprive ourselves. So I'm not saying don't go shopping, just stay at home instead. It could be are there people that you could get together with, could you pick up a new hobby, could you do something that's been on your to do list for a while,

and go shopping when you have a list. Right, Eventually, we do spend money, and we can spend it intentionally, but it doesn't have to be the thing that is how we're entertaining ourselves and buying things that we don't actually need, we weren't planning to purchase, and doesn't really make us feel great after we've bought it.

you try a lot that are not for you. So getting creative with your activities, how you spend time with friends is an integral part of frugality and values based spending.

so I'll get off of it. And then where do I go? I for some reason, I will open up Amazon and I'll stress scroll Amazon after my child screams about me turning off Minecraft for the three hundred and sixty eighth day in a row. So like, yeah, it's just a mindless way to dissociate and regain control over situations that I feel like I have very little control over.

And so the combat to that would be just having a list of alternatives to feel to do when I feel different emotions, and so addressing not even needing to address the emotion head on, but to address that coping mechanism head on is to just create a healthier coping mechanism. So and the key to this is having different sizes of activities of coping mechanisms. So when I'm scrolling Amazon in my bed and I'm stressed, the solution is not

to get up and go for a run. Though exercise and meditation are super helpful in relieving stress, I would not get up and go for a run at that time. I might try meditating more often than not. I'm going to like recheck myself and be like, okay, I have to stop scrolling. I'm going to turn on a phone game, and my go to is Solitaire, so I'll do that. But in a perfect world, the most ideal solutions are either exercise or meditation, and I should probably meditate more.

If you are stronger than I am, that is what I would recommend to you. And if you're like me, I would say pick up Solitaire. It's the only child's favorite phone game. If my trigger is going to target when I'm stressed, then that's kind of like a medium sized so that in that case, maybe trying a walk or going outside in nature or something that's going to give you a dopamine rush, similar to shopping, but in

a different way for a different price. And then there's bigger things like shopping as an activity if we're stressed and we're calling the girls and like let's go out on the town. I'm feeling stressed, I just want to buy dranks, creating a different big coping mechanism to where you're gathering the girls and we're walking. We're just we're

going for a walk or we're doing something. So having those different sizes again a lot of trial and error to see what's going to work for you, but that's an important distinction to have when you're trying to combat the stress shopping.

are free when you're feeling that way. And this is something that you can absolutely use the Internet to help you come up with a list, and like Jen mentioned earlier, not all of them are going to work for you. Some of them you'll try on for size and they don't fit, and you can throw that one out. But eventually, refining this list of here's what I can do when I'm feeling this way and then that way, we can

know we are meeting the need. We're addressing the emotion with something that's actually going to work, rather than slapping a purchase onto something and it usually doesn't actually fulfill whatever it is that we're looking for. The fourth reason that many of us impulse shop is social influence. This is both the people around us, our community, our friends, our neighbors, as well as the people that we follow online.

So there's a lot of opportunity for impulse purchasing when it comes to who it is that we follow, who it is that we hang out with. When we see other people having something or recommending something, or seemingly making their lives better or more efficient, or giving us a sense of if we had that thing, maybe we would fit in. There'd be belonging community happening. As a result, it can really influence us to want to buy that

thing again. From following people online and getting to know someone's personality, what it is that they're doing, and trusting their recommendations of skincare products, kitchen appliances. I mean, people are selling clothing, people are selling everything online. And so when we feel like we are connecting with someone on Instagram or Facebook and they're talking about what it is that they that they recommend, we are more likely to want that item because there's this cognitive bias of social

proof that I like them, I trust them. They seem to like this thing. It's working for them. I want to try it out. Maybe it'll work for me. And those thoughts aren't even necessarily happening in the way that I'm saying them out loud. We sometimes don't even know all that goes into our purchase. We don't realize that it's because we trust them, we like them. We think it'll solve our desire for belonging and self fulfillment. Our

brains just cut too. If I get yes, I want that thing, I'm going to one click by it, and that's the impulsiveness of it. Or we're at a friend's house and they've got the latest type of appliance, rug even cleaning products. My goodness, and now I think I have to do that. If I buy that, then maybe my house will be clean. If I buy that, maybe my home will look as aesthetic as this place. Who knows what it is that that might be connecting with you.

But the people that we're around play a massive role, and so there's not much we can do about this because we desire belonging and community and that's a very good thing. So we don't want to cut out people. But being aware of the ways in which the people were around are influencing us. And this can be as simple as creating a pause before our purchases. So whether that's just asking ourselves a few simple questions of what is behind me wanting to buy this thing? What problem

that I'm experiencing? Do I think that this will solve for me? Can help in identifying is this actually something that I want to do. Some other things that I've found helpful is creating a life of the things that

I want to purchase. So if I do see somebody selling something on Instagram, or a friend just got something, or a neighbor's got a new gadget, I'll write it down because it's good to value the need that is arising the desire that's arising and put that energy somewhere, But it doesn't mean that we need to use our energy by buying the thing. We can put space in

between it. Create a list I keep it in my notes app on my phone of here's something that I want to purchase, want to buy this, want to get this. So then when it comes time to maybe I am out at the store, I'm running errands, I can look at that list and identify is this something that I still want? Have I lived life without it long enough that I'm actually okay without it? The initial desire for it has gone, and I'm okay without purchasing this. Can I make this myself? Can I fix the problem with

things that I already have? Can I buy by this secondhand? These are kind of the questions that I run through before I'll end up purchasing something new. And finally, I would recommend at least when it comes to who we're following online, that could use a little bit of an

inventory and potentially an overhaul. If you're noticing that there's particular people that you're following on social media who are leading you to your most common impulse buys, maybe stop following them for a little bit or hide their profile, find people to follow that are going to encourage you towards your goals. I think social media is a lovely tool if we can curate it for ourselves in a

way that's going to be helpful for us. So following people who are going to get as excited about cooking at home or hosting in our home on a budget, or hanging out with friends free ideas. All of these accounts exist, and we can be following these people that are supporting and encouraging us towards our goals rather than depleting our energy, our emotions, our finances.

It's a sorry, not a sorry. Excuse, but it is a lesser excuse for the true solution.

We already have clothes we can wear to exercise, and old ready tennis shoes if need be. We already have paper and pen or even something digital that we can be journaling with. But instead we'll go and buy the things, thinking that purchasing the item is going to get us closer to that goal, when really taking the steps towards that goal is what we need to be doing first.

going to buy anyways. And that feeling is capitalized on by companies because they want to give you a deal on something you are going to buy in the hopes of bringing you in because it is very likely you'll add something to your cart that you weren't going to buy, but you will because it's on sale. That is the goal of sales, not to get you a deal. But we love the thrill of the hunt, and so how do we fulfill that specially, I mean, especially if you're

like me and I don't. I don't love other hunts. So how do you fulfill that without spending unnecessarily? So hunt something different? The most dangerous game goals that I really wanted to put that in book. Spoiler it did not make That line did not make the in the book. But I really wanted to talk about hunting the most dangerous game anyways, goals. I think a lot of the thrill that I can get now is hunting some kind of goal, and not big goals, but maybe smaller goals

and focusing on those. So, like I for the last six weeks, I've been tracking my eating and that's been a goal of mine, is to be more intentional with tracking what I eat and making little changes to kind of make healthier choices. So I haven't eaten out like at all in the last six weeks except when we've been out of town, but when we have been home, we have eaten in like every night. It's been It's it's been insane for me because I don't love cooking.

I hate dishes, and I'm always looking for inex used to get out like and eat and it's just been like mind blowing to me with this little like chase that I've been doing to like track and like stay on track has been doing for other things financially for me.

potentially a lot more thought around it. So we can certainly leverage this to our benefit in looking for the best deal, the best way that you can solve for this issue or problem that you're having without spending a ton of money. So I think that this one can can work in our favor. But also recognizing that there are other things that we can replace here, like you mentioned the new goal, Yeah, reading a book, trying out

a new hobby. I think there's so many things that we can do that fit into that thing that many of us have where we want to dig, we want to search, we want to problem solve, and it doesn't have to mean that we're buying something we didn't intend to.

about what's happening. What are the ways that they're trying to utilize my cognitive biases, which can be really great and helpful in some scenarios against me in this situation, to make me spend money that I didn't want to. So another peripheral topic that I think is so so helpful if you want to be equipped even more on this type of thing, how to say no to impulse

purchases again by what you loovebook dot com. But you know what makes us equipped every single episode with just the best tips and randomness.

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to the store. But that's what's going to happen. I mean, maybe not the same exact day, but I'll just throw it back in the car with the receipt and it gets returned. If it's a purchase from a thrift store or or you about what I thought returned or food, yeah, or something, I do make sure that I use it. I think that's the best way for me to feel relief and freedom in it is to say, you know what, that's a decision I made. I can learn from it.

There's the grace in it of letting myself off the hook, but logging it so that it can inform future decisions, and then using it, whether for myself or if I decide I don't actually want this thing, but I know someone who could benefit from it, that's always a silver lining for me, as if it could be of use to somebody else, that's what I do. How about you?

With tracking my food for the past six weeks has been because I was eating out more than I liked and I was not making it. I was buying something that should have lasted me all week and like eating it in two days. Sort of thing to the point where like Travis would get mad because we were like trying to split something, and then I just couldn't help myself and I would eat all of it and leave nothing for him, and it would be two days, right, and so he didn't even have time, and so like now,

so this has been my solution to that. And yeah, just making a plan and looking at it nudjudgmentally.

be five stars. I love these girls. Practical, relevant, and a little weird. This podcast is not only full of practical tips and tricks to save money, but full of fun and weirdness too. Listening to Jen and Jill is like sitting in your back patio on a perfect summer afternoon, drinking a margarita with your best girls and talking money. They're so purely themselves and it makes them so relatable.

The topics are almost always relevant to me as a woman in her early thirties with no kids, but there's something for everyone. The show is really a breath of fresh air amid all the stuff or bro dude personal finance podcasts that are out there. Jen and Jill are girls girls, and I love it.

our neighborhoods devastated but moving through it. And I was out in the immediate wake of this at home depot getting supplies and helping people clean out their flooded homes, and I walk out and they were offering free hot dogs. This guy just yelled out, you want a free hot dog? And I've never heard someone yell that to me before. My initial reaction was like, oh, I don't I don't know if I want to if I want to buy a hot dog, and then the free settled in. I'm like, yes,

immediate tes automatic, yes, free hot dogs. Then I'm like, oh man, the Frugal Friends community would love to know this. And also we had a lot of people checking in like how are you doing, So I'm like, this is a great way to update everybody that we are okay and good things are still happening in the midst of tragedy. So anyways, I posted about that on our stories and and we had somebody respond like, oh my gosh, I knew you loved hot dogs so much. I can't believe

you're holding two in one hand. I don't know why that impressed them, very easy to hold two hot dogs in one hand.

and Golfport is on the water but does not typically flood. Yeah, and so it has been really interesting to be so close. Last year, when Ian came, we were pretty far removed from all that devastation, and like today I am a four minute drive from where Gulfport basically ends now, Like, yeah, those those roads in those houses were just like decimated.

So whether that's the Red Cross or Smaritan's Purse or local organizations, A lot of businesses and restaurants are doing relief efforts partnering with other people. So yeah, good thing to keep in mind.