How To Design And Afford Your Dream Life

And I typically don't like series because any time a podcast does a series, it's like I'm not into the series. I can't listen for four to eight episodes. But hopefully you will all be into this series because it's only three episodes and it's all about designing your dream life, making a financial plan to afford it, and then developing the skills to stick with the plan and achieve what you really want versus what you're being told you should want.

And this is a fun sneak peek too into what we're doing in our membership group, wanting to share it with you all how we are approaching some of the foundational things of leading a frugal life that is fulfilling, that's tailored to our needs, and that is going to help set us up for the future in some beneficial ways to what we want to see. So we hope that this can just be really helpful for you in some small ways and big ways, short term and long term.

And know that it builds upon one another. So with your listen into this episode, and I just know you can keep tuning in, you know, for at least the next two episodes. Yeah, well we have an interview, so the next four episodes stick with us for the next few years. And this episode is specifically talking about dream lives. This episode is brought to you by Vacation All I ever wanted. By the time you hear this, I will

have just gone back from my vacation. I will be rested and rejuvenated and recovered from our virtual event, and I will be ready to podcast again today. While I'm recording, however, I am hanging on by a thread, a very thick thread, but a thread. Nonetheless, vacations say for them, take them, enjoy them. I feel like this is also like a warning for me to have how do I keep this thread together? I link the fibers in a way that helps us get through. It's a thick thread, it's almost yarn.

It's almost when where are you are you hanging? Are you like holding on and you're just like two ft off the floor like an nb D if it breaks or you like over a cliff, I would imagine, well, this is too deep into I didn't think this far into it, but I would imagine I'm sitting hanging on by the thread. I am, well, it sounds more stressful actually than I even imagined. I maybe just you got coffee,

you'll be all right. We're we're friends talking. Here we go if if this podcast topic is of interest to you and you want like, if you want more, if you want to hear more from us and Jenuine maybe a time which he wasn't hanging on by y're not talking about Yeah, by threat you got episode one nine you can queue up where we talk about money mindset shifts that we all need to make. That's a tongue twister. Or episode one seventy seven, what is values based budgeting?

Both of those are congruent with what we're talking about here and could be helpful. Yeah, So, like Joel said, this is something that we're talking about in our membership, but we wanted to um share kind of like an overview. And we have a you know, like full video series and workbooks in there for our members, but we wanted to just give you an overview and if you are really digging it, then you can join us in there.

Otherwise you can totally do it on your own. But like, this is stuff we're not seeing elsewhere on the internet. So and you'll when we get to our one page financial plan, that will be clearly obvious that we have to rewrite the outline ten minutes before we recorded. So we wanted to share it so it's out there so if somebody else is looking for this idea, they can find it and it's here, and there's also opportunity to go further with it. But so for us, designing and

affording your dream life. So many people talk about the designing your dream life and like the lifestyle design part, but they don't focus on the money aspect. It's either become an entrepreneur and live your laptop lifestyle. That's kind of the extent they go to. And then other people talk about how to afford life, But who's picture of life just like who's life. So it's really important to

meld those parts together. And so you can't figure out what you want to do financially until you figure out what you want to do outside of your finances. So today is going to talk a lot about more of the lifestyle design portion with a little bit of the money tucked in because next are Part two is going to be all about the money and the affording part. So that is what we are kind of talking about when we talk about designing and affording your dream life.

And there are different parts to a dream life plan, which we get into our our membership, but today we're gonna talk about kind of like the idea behind it. And so that leads us to our first article, which is what is lifestyle design and five steps to living the life of your dreams? And this comes from your

lifestyle business. This author talks a lot about in general on her blog how to create a business that aligns with the lifestyle design that you have, but this one in particular, I think is really helpful for anyone, whether or not you have your own business. And some of the things that I appreciate about it's the how, but also dispelling some of the myths, which always feels a little bit fun and salacious to me. So I'm excited

to get into the its portion. I will say at the start of this if anyone else is similar to me in this way. Sometimes I hear a term like lifestyle design and I feel a little cringe e like it feels to me in some ways like live your best life now. And any time that I make that kind of statement, I make it kind of like how I just did, where it's a little bit sarcastic and poking fun at just that concept that you could have all of the rainbows and butterflies and sunshine and that's it.

And I do want to say off the bat, I guess I'm already kind of getting to some of the myths that as we've talked about this, Jen, you and I and with our membership and and talking about this through this three part series. Is not that I think that my mindset has shifted a bit on what is lifestyle design and realizing I have done it. I maybe haven't put those words to it, but it is possible,

and it doesn't mean the absence of life difficulties. Just how can we move towards something that we want and so getting into the article, one of the things that they highlight at the beginning is lifestyle design is about choice, meaning what do you want, where do you want to do it, and who do you want with you along the journey? And I think we all do answer those questions in one way or another, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not intentionally.

And I think lifestyle design is that extra push to say, well, let's do it intentionally. It's the opposite of being victim to our circumstances. It's not life just happening to us. It is us engaging with life in a way that we want to in the midst of yes circumstances, we

can't change difficulties that happen, barriers that arise. But still recognizing what is the power influence control that I have that is within my realm of influence that I can bear weight upon and actually make decisions that I feel are beneficial for me and maybe even those around me. So that's my caveat And also in alignment with what this article is saying, as we kind of get into well then how do we go about this? Yeah, I think when I think about lifestyle design, there is an

example and it's a few maybe months ago. The daycare where I take Kai, she had to shut down for a week because her daughter was in the hospital. And when that happened, I was able. I was not stressed about it at all, Like, yes, I have to work, I can't. I am not financially independent. I am not independently wealthy, like I still work from home, but I have designed a work that I love that I can take a week off from or or work you know here and there for a week while I keep my

son at home. I didn't have to stress about where he was going, what we were doing, what I was falling behind on, Like there was absolutely no stress. It was just a an inconvenience. And I was able to still pay for that week, and like, bless the family with with not having to worry about, you know, my fee because they made it optional to pay for that week and um, you know, bring their daughter a gift basket.

So they were just like there some And then I was talking to another mother texted me and she was stressed, like about whether she had to pay or not, and apparently she had to hire a nanny to like watch her kids while it was close to that was another expense and so like it's that to me is lifestyle design. It's not traveling the world in a lap, laptop lifestyle drinking my ties on the beach, though I do love that.

That's not lifestyle designed. To me, I was able to go through that week completely unfhazed, able to bless another family in a time they needed it, and that so to that, to me, that's lifestyle design. And that's what we talk about when we talk about this, and it takes time. I think you know, both you and I can say we have gotten to a place where it feels great. There's more that we want to see for

our lives. But we're in our mid thirties now, and I would say it took every bit of a decade to finally get to this place of, oh, this is what I've been aimed at and hoping for for a long time. I'm so grateful for it. Again, my life is not without difficulties, but there are a lot of things in the midst of it that provide flexibility that I've wanted. And it didn't happen overnight. So there's also that caveat with this whole lifestyle design cons step. It's

not a snap your fingers and achieve it. And so if this idea is sounding good to you, that's the word sounding good to you. Here are some ways that we can engage in this. The first one is just know what you want, and I will say that's not an easily answered question. I think our second article will help us, so I'm not going to get two into the weeds on that one. The second article helps to fill in some of the blanks. But I do want to say you're not alone if you're kind of unsure.

I don't know this. This sounds great, but I'm not. I don't actually know what I would want my lifestyle to look like. That's okay, it's a step one. Take some time with it again, listen to the second portion of this episode, and that that can help fill in those blanks. Yeah. The next is to create a lifestyle design budget, which we'll also talk about more in our next episode. Not so much a budget, but just like

a plan um. Because nine times out of ten, and this is this is the author speaking, but I wholeheartedly agree nine times out of ten, it costs much less than you think to live your ideal life because it doesn't necessarily mean building a business or moving to a foreign country or having to retire early like it's it can be done on on less, and I think we just have to find maybe, yes, there's an ultimate goal that involves living on a beach in Columbia, but there

are steps that you can take before that to also live a dream life now that you can afford. And then number three is make a plan. And I love what we talk about with our membership and Jen you highlighted this recently on a call that we had with some of our club members of make this plan when we're in this design phase without talking about money, and that will really help us to get to the heartbeat of what we want to see if we don't even like oftentimes we just jump to money, like well, what

what can money afford for me? But really we're gonna have a better sense of what do I want my lifestyle to look like if we're able to answer that question without thinking about money. Yet money will come into it, of course, we we need resources, but consider a design plan that just looks like hopes, desires where with who, maybe even how, but not even considering the financial component yet,

and that leads into having difficult conversations. Uh So this one says, perhaps you're going to be leaving your family for a while. And I don't know, this gets into some deece that maybe you and your spouse are going in opposite directions. I don't think. I think that might have been what happened for her. Maybe maybe for her. Um, it just says you might be saying goodbye to your job.

That could be somethinging that you actually do. Maybe you need to find a higher paying job, or eventually, once you get to a certain part of your plan, you say goodbye to your job because you know you've made enough in your business. All hard conversations both UM, So you definitely need do need to have some difficult conversations. I would say the most difficult conversations you have are

with yourself. Those are the most difficult conversations. And then incorporating your family, so your partner, even your children, even your extended family, because getting their input is important, but it's not it's not a make or break. These are the people who are important to you should be involved in your plans. But there are certain people who can

dictate them in certain people who cannot. But it's still important to have those conversations and possibly create boundaries where needed the Again, as I dive into this topic more and more, I realized, oh my gosh, I did I did do this? Maybe I kind of wish that I had the steps to actually know what I was doing. But when Eric and I started to have our sights on wanting to move and wanting to come to St. Petersburg from the north, there were this the difficult conversations.

And I almost didn't do it because I almost didn't have the conversation with my full time work and speaking with my boss about hey, could I keep my job but do it from Florida, And thank goodness, I could, like we figured out a way for me not to have to leave my job, maintain my job, do it from a new location. Eric already was remote, so that was fantastic. But that was a difficult conversation. But realized that there can be creativity involved and some problem solving

and and just considering what could this look like? And I will say I think it has been an incredible quality of life improvement for Eric and I And oh my gosh, I'm so glad. I'm so glad we did step four of having the difficult conversations. Yes, the hope was also to be closer to you, to be able to invest more in this podcast, and it's happening. I'm like elated you did number five and then number five make it happen. Number five is put it to action.

That's gonna look different for every person. But once you've gone through all of those other steps of designing it, where then we had to do it, implement on it. You've done a lot of work up to that point, so do it, which then moves into and I love this part the myths myths. The first myth we've kind of touched on it a bit that designing your your dream life means you have to travel the world. No, designing your dream life is what do you want? What

do you want life to look like? Look like in the areas that you have influence and control over within your life. Of course, the writer of this she does travel. It's what she wanted to do. But I love that she encourages people that it's not mutually exclusive. You can design a lifestyle that you want and it doesn't have to look like what others on Instagram or blogs or other platforms are telling you. This is what you should want. It's okay if you want to stay home and that's

the lifestyle that you desire. Absolutely, if you want to move homes, whatever it is, it doesn't mean you have to travel the world. So get that out of your head. Of course, if you want to, then have at it enjoy Absolutely That's never going to be me because one of my core values is community and I would rather like not love where I live and be in a

great community, then travel the world. And so that's I mean, thankfully, I love where I live, but that is something that's important to me, is being invested in like a great core community. So that's I mean traveling and being a digital a man is never going to be something that I want to do. I do of to get away and see new places and so that kind of like secondary traveling. But yeah, you don't have to be a digital nomad. Myth two you have to start your own business.

Uh So again I love that she's very candid on this because her whole business is helping you start a business to design your life. And she's like, but you don't actually have to do that one. Yeah, so like you can work remote or you can you know, do what Chill did and kind of like she does the remote work and then also sometimes travels for work. There

are options and you just need to ask. Or sometimes you you work at nine to five in an office that you enjoy, like if you love it, then that's your You're intentionally designing your life and that's the goal. You do things with intention. Speak it from the rooftop because especially if you are entrenched in the fine personal finance world and you're like queuing up all the personal finance podcasts and Instagram accounts like this is the push.

There is a lot of pressure out there to be a solo preneurs, be an entrepreneur, start your own side hustle. And of course we've done that and we appreciate it and we'd love to help others who want to. But you don't have to. Again, freedom, There is nothing wrong with having being employed. There are actually some really great

benefits to it. For a while, we were self employed, and I was so grateful when I finally was a W two employee and salaried and just didn't have to worry about certain things that come along with owning your own business. So I support all of it, and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I think if you've designed a lifestyle that you like, that feels great to you, that affords you the things that

you want fan ta stick. You can push aside the pressures and obligations of other people telling you what you should or shouldn't do. So love that dispelling that myth. The third one is you have to become a millionaire. Now you out you do not have to be a millionaire to have a dream life. You don't even have

to be have being a millionaire be a goal of yours. Again, it's a whole other pressure that people are putting on out there, And I love how she describes kind of the freedom that can come along with whatever you want and use utilizes this example of a person who maybe works eighty hours a week and makes half a million dollars a year versus the person who might work twenty five hours a week and makes forty dollars a year.

It's very possible that the actual lifestyle lived by the twenty four hour work week and the forty dollars a year is way more flexible and enjoyable than the person working eighty hours making half a million. Like how we define an approach wealth and something worth aiming at is a spectrum in and of itself. So just recognize that you can push off the trappings and the obligations and the pressures in a lot of different ways. That if

being a millionaire is not your goal, that's okay. You're fine, You're welcomed here, and you can design a life that feels great for you. M M. And that, by no means is us giving permission to not try to increase your income because it is a more efficient way to save money. You know, when you have more money, you can buy better quality things that save you more money in the long run. YadA, YadA, YadA. But yeah, there is no expectation to work and become this you know,

mega rich person to travel the world. And I think that leads into the fourth myth, last one, you have to buck the system. So she references the four hour work week by Tim Ferris, which in two thousand and seven was for sure bucking the system. It was really like working remote was not common, and these days it is more common. So you don't have to create a new ecosystem or a new system at all. You it's much easier to make the system work for you in two so you don't have to do something new. You

don't have to create something from scratch. It's it's much easier to make the system work for you in some way, or look for a way to make the system work for you. Mm hm. The article goes on to talk about like why do this and if you're interested in kind of being more and more convinced, feel free to check it out. But we're going to move into the next article, which is seven questions to ask yourself in figuring out what you want your dream life to be.

And this one comes from Life Goals Co. There's just some fun pictures along the way. And again I like this one for the sense that it normalizes and validates those of us who may think I'm uncertain about what I even want. You're not alone if the pathway forward for short term or long term goals is not well defined for you, or this might be the first time that you're ever thinking about it, And so here you go.

Here's some really helpful questions, some prompts. Even if I may if you're a journal or or a quiet thinker, here's some things that you can ponder. Oh, I guess everyone is kind of a quiet thinker. Or you can verbalize whatever you want to do With these questions, they're fantastic. You have permission, So let's go in the first one, what would you like to learn with no intention of having it as a side business. I love it when we take the pressure off of it being a side business.

That's so in like in personal finance, it's like what do you like and how can you monetize it? Which is totally fine, not a bad question. But first let's talk about what would you what do you like to do? What do you want to learn without having it monetized, And that can be a helpful indicator of certainly what what what draws us, what is engaging for us, what's life giving? And maybe even we'll provide us an outlet even if it does never become a business for us,

you can at least see maybe a pattern. If you have a list of things, you can find a pattern in there and try to incorporate more of whatever that core is. One of the things I considered with that one is it could at least help us in designing our dream life so that we could have more of that thing that we really enjoy doing, or space to learn the thing we want to learn without the pressure to monetize, but figuring out other aspects of our life

that makes that more accessible to us. The second question we can ask ourselves is what did you enjoy doing as a child. A lot of times, going back to some of our first loves, the things that were true about us decades ago might still ring true. This is kind of getting at the core of our being before all of these other pressures or obligations came into play. What drew us It still could be relevant for us today.

So understanding if we were really artistic or we enjoyed problems solving, like there might be a craving for that underneath as well. So think back, dig up pictures, old home videos. What kind of kid were you? And what might that say about yourself and what you might want to incorporate into your life as an adult. I used to do math problems on a whiteboard. I would just do one plus one is two two plus four or four plus and I would just go on and on

and on. And now you kind of do that on our Instagram account, things on a piece of paper and videotape it and share it with the world. Yeah. Uh So the next one is who are the five people you admire or envy most and what do you admire about them? So this does not have to be celebrities and and she says this activity was helpful for me because I have the tendency to glorify other people's lives and vicariously live through them instead of doing the work

to achieve what they have. So A k A. She spent way too many hours on YouTube, and I think, I mean, I was at the gym yesterday and they asked like, what do you spend way too much time doing? And everyone was like social media? And I was like, why that's so telling, because I think we're doing this uh so doing doing the work of becoming more like the people that we admire. And then the next thing

is what can you start saying yes too? I do think that we have hit a wave of being able to say no, recognizing boundaries, being able to say ah, that's not for me. But I think too, this is that radical middle right, not only saying yes, not only saying no, but being really mindful and aware of but what do I maybe want to say yes to that other factors might be inhibiting me? But really, deep down it draws me it's maybe not something I would normally do,

but it's exciting me. And how can I make ways to be able to say yes to those things, those opportunities that could be really telling about what a dream life could incorporate for us. And I love that she says say yes and if you don't like it, don't do it again. But we'll never see what our potential is or what we like or want to do if we don't get out there and try new things. And we have to sometimes we have to fail at things that we do. And failure isn't the end all be all.

It just means, I mean, maybe I didn't like this, maybe I don't do it again, or maybe I try harder. YEA. For some of us, we can also create visuals. A lot of us are visual people, I think, so even putting together scrolling Instagram or taking a walk outside and taking pictures of the things that draw us, or writing down considering what do we like, creating a collage whatever it might be. It can look however you want it

to look. But beginning to imagine and put visuals to what are the things that I want incorporated into my life, what's important to me, what's life giving? That can also be helpful actually hands on engagement in this process. I don't love vision boards because I feel like if I have see a vision board and I'm just stare at things I want to do but can't do, it makes

me feel sad. But if you're making like visuals for your one, five, and ten year goals, which is what she says to do, like that can actually be really healthy, Like especially of visual like visual reminder for your one year plan, I think very healthy. What don't you want? This is a thing if you can't figure out what you want, surely you know the things that you don't want, So start with that and then start subtracting. Shift things around.

Just start subtracting things that you don't like, and eventually that will make space for you to find the things that you do want. I love this doc g talks about this. We had him on our podcast and yeah, the art of subtraction. I think that can be really healthyre that and a feeling about it. Little teaser what is what is the future you like? And when you think about what you might want, even in big terms, what do you think? What what is it that you want? Uh?

Feel free? There's various exercises that you can do. You can write to yourself in five years and what are you working on now? Where are you at in life? How do you feel? You can get as detailed as you want, but just give yourself the space and permission to imagine what the future could hold. And again going back to that first article, I can't answer some of those questions of what do you want, who do you want with you? Where do you want it to be?

Those are some big overarching pieces and it can also tie into what do you what do you don't want? That can also help. Yeah, and finding your core values is essential to this. We didn't talk about much about core values in these articles, but that's one thing that we used to guide. It's like a true North type thing. And Uh, you can find out a lot about what you want from life and a lot about what you don't want from life if you are confident in your

core values. UM. And then also having the mindset that says my core values can change. That doesn't mean I've failed or I'm going to give up. It means I shift and I've grown. Uh. And so moving on this path and happened ever forever refining your mindset and your core values I think that is the goal, because you're never going to be able to predict what your future is going to hold ever, you just can't, So why

try give yourself a vision? No, continue to discover who you are and then and make goals around that and then hold them loosely. And I think that's the big, big picture. Do you know what's my true north? And I never want to let go of This will never change for me. It is truly a core value. The bill of a week. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy to

not have to pay that bill anymore. That bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week. Hello, Hello, I'm calling in and my bill of the week. We decided to use some of our emergency savings to pay off the rest of my my husband's car loan UM so that way we can use the money that we would have been spending on the car loan to pay

down my student loan debt. We also went through our spending um and our statements and our bank accounts and canceled all of the subscriptions that we don't actually need. And we found out that we were spending almost two hundred dollars in these things, and so now we have

two hundred dollars to UM throw at debt. And we also went into our benefits accounts and realized that we I had a flexible sending account for dependent childcare and I wasn't using it, and so I just submitted a claim and so we might not have to pay for my son's preschool for the rest of the school year. So there's all this money that we just freed up just by looking at our expenses. And we're super super

excited about this UM. And we just paid off my husband's car loan, so now we own his car fully and we only have one car loan left. So excited and really grateful for this community and for the motivation that I've found UM in listening to your podcast. UM And thank you. I hope you have a great day. Bye bye you all, Ninja your fami. I think that was a triple bill, a triple threat bill. I think it may have it may hold the record for bills like you just that was that was bam, bam bam.

Let's recap it. There was the taking money from the savings to pay off the car loan, which and as long as it's not your emergency fund, if it's just other savings, we support. Then the canceling all the subscriptions and freeing up two hundred dollars a month, Well, you skipped that. They once they canceled the car loan, that money that was being spent on the car loan got put towards debt debt, and then canceling the subscriptions and

free two hundred dollars. And then here we are using the PCT spending account to pay for some pre school you ninja your budget? That might be a quad bill? Wow for that? Oh my gosh. You know we just in ice skating, we keep getting more and more quads and I was waiting for it to spill into other areas. And here we are is the first quad on the Frugal Friends podcast. And you're sending a precedent. I mean you are. That's gonna be tough act to follow, just

like in ice skating, tough xs to follow. If you all listening, I mean, hopefully you're just inspired. If you want to go after this bill and you want to submit us a bill, It's okay. If it's just a double bill, that's fine. One bill or a dude named bill for somebody, it doesn't, it's fine. This revs us up no matter what it is. Visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill. Leave us your bill. It's it's our favorite part the show. And now it's time for around. Yeah,

my own and my own. So Goldie, Goldie's Goldie's in our outlines and she's been asking the questions. Yeah, she's been um making our lightning round questions and um, so this one. What did you enjoy doing as a child? Oh, Jill, No, this is what I made? Oh you did this one funny? Forgot? Forgot? And reading it, I was like, this sounds familiar. What did you enjoy doing as a child that you have or want to incorporate more of or into your dream life?

Jill was a weird trial. Oh my gosh, Jill, your answer, I might lose some listeners on this. I say, nothing has I remember my childhood and even like looking back on pictures and memorabilia, I really just enjoyed bossing people around. I don't know what to do with that, Like I would hold book clubs in the tree house and I would just I was so I wasn't I didn't know yet. I just bost people around. I bought my brother around. I took over girl. No, we don't say that anymore.

We don't say we don't say girls or bossy. We say that they are born leaders. Okay, you're a born leader. Yeah. It's even to this day. Eric and I lived with my grandmother for a year. She has Alzheimer's. She's still alive, which is amazing, but Alzheimer's has definitely really taken over.

It's quite sad. But before she got to the point that we needed to put her into just a home that could provide care, we lived with her, and throughout my life and even into the onset of dementia, she would constantly ask me, are you are you bossing him around? Are you telling them what to do? That's her question, are you? I don't even know who she's talking about. I think she just is, like this has been always what she wanted to call out in me, like are

you telling them what to do? Are they listening? I'm like, I don't know. I call encouraging you encouraging or commenting on it, like are you you telling them what to do? Are they listening? Are you? Are you being good? Are you behaving? These are her questions. So I mean, yes, I think as maybe i've grown into adulthood, maybe maybe leadership. Leadership has been a theme and and I enjoy it. I enjoy collaboration, I enjoy teamwork. I enjoy drawing out

the best in people. So that's been maybe like the more beneficial pivot, like not just bossing people around. But when I was a child and I had childish ways, it looked like being bossy. When I was a child, I acted like a child. I bossed people like a child. And now I'm adult and I bought people like an adult. It's some wisdom right there for you. What about you when what does your child childhood say about you? Well, I was a nerd and I was not. They didn't

call me bossy. But I also am independent, I would say more independent, um and like individually capable, which is it's we're an interesting mix because I am more of like I take the lead on most of the frugal friends stuff, where your leaders, you're definitely more of a leader of people than I am, but I'm just like a doer. I get things done. I am the home depot and so I'm thinking of their song, but I

can't replica of it. So um, writing and learning were things that I did constantly as a child, like I just wanted to be. And I was an only child too, so I think that plays into this. But I I

once I was good at writing as a child. But one time I took a writing assignment to my teacher and she read it and she partly, I'm sure, thought it was good, but then also partly she was just a great teacher and she wanted me to know that I was doing good work, and so she had me bring it to all the teachers in the pod um and show them so that they can encourage me also A yeah, it was something that like very much stood

out to me. And when I switched from doing acupuncture to full time, writing was the thing in my life that made me believe I could do it. So that one little thing that my teacher did really played a significant role in me taking the leap into entrepreneurship and freelancing. It's amazing what an impact those little events within childhood can have on us. I don't know. Yeah, I don't well and negative, but I don't know that like being encouraged one time an adulthood would make the pivot that

it can make for a child. It's quite remarkable. And so shout out to all of the teachers, parents, caregivers who are calling out the best in kids, because that one event can really set a trajectory for people, and you're doing it. This is a part of I would say, your dream life, what you are best at. I love it when that alignment happens, what you're good at and what you desire to do coming together. So and it does. It has come fully together. So next step is writing

a book. We're gonna write. We're gonna do that. We're going she's calling it into being, it's I am calling it into being. So if you know any literary agents, hit us up, um, but I am forcing Jill into it. If there's people to boss around in the process, I'm your report. Oh absolutely, Oh my gosh, Yes, you can absolutely do that. And I will write most of the book because I'm on the first one. How does that song go? I don't know. I can't say anymore. I

promise I am like more Well, I don't know. I would hope my imagine self is more lovely than just bossy, but I mean, maybe it's true. Are a leader that all right? Thanks everyone for listening. Many of you know we have a private community where we do monthly money challenges. We all for accountability groups so much. There's so much happening there, and we want to congratulate one of our members for a big win because wins also happened in

this community. So Brenda shared, I've been m I A for a bit, but so much going on that I've only been checking post periodically. So after three to four canceled or postpone meetings, I finally had a chance to ask for a raise. I did get a raise, not as large as I wanted, but they added six more hours to my schedule, so it's worked out to about

five hundred dollars a month. Then several weeks later they asked if I'd be interested if they started a four oh one K. Not sure when that will happen, but up until now they've they haven't offered anything. My daughter graduated with her master's degree and I helped her move into her first full size apartment that she doesn't have to share with anyone. And at my apartment, where it's been very hard to get any repairs taken care of, they've decided to upgrade the entire complex, so new roofs,

new paint, new mailboxes. Plus they finally came in, replaced my bathroom sinc replaced a cabinet door in the kitchen. I've never been so happy over a cabinet car before. It took eighteen months to get the repairs. Here's to continuing the trend towards getting the things I want and need. Brenda, this is amazing because I think it's a combination of things that you've done actively intentionally that you had power,

influence and control over. But then there's some things here that you didn't have power, control or influence over but probably created gratitude for you. Like you didn't have much control over what happened at the apartment complex, but it's happening and you're noticing it and you're celebrating it, and it's creating momentum. So congratulations. Yeah, And it's like, not it didn't have to help my daughter move. I got to help her move into her first apartment on her own.

And we know that you were talking about wanting to get a raise or more hours, and so we are super happy that you did and that I think this points out even though Chaparenta said, I've been m i A for a bit, like you don't have to be hundred percent into the community of the time. There is room to get what you need when you need it, and we are here. So congrats Brenda, Thanks everyone for listening.

If you want to check out our monthly challenge community, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club to see what challenge we have coming up next. Share your wins, get some accountability, whatever you need. Love to see you there, see you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirian Jen. I have a story to share with you, Okay that I need to Well I did. It's okay, I've got five I've got five minutes. Uh. I just that's maybe in some ways related to dream life, but

also I just need to get this out. So yesterday I had jury duty, first time that I ever actually went to jury duty. I've been summoned before, but okay, first time going. I've heard part of this story. Yeah, and so, so a lot of things happening. First of all. I was actually kind of like excited. I mean, it wasn't the most convenient thing, but this is maybe where it ties into dream life. I have the flexibility, it

wasn't overwhelmingly stressful. I'm not going to be out of money. Uh, It's actually something that I can do as my civic responsibility, and it's something I've never done before, and I like new things and new opportunities, So I was kind of looking forward to and grateful that like I could. I know there's a lot of people who can't, so recognizing my own circumstances and this is a way that I can.

I'm not trying to get out of it. So I going into it, I was like I had heard some some stories about people just sitting at court all day and them not allowing you to have your phone or your computer. So I wanted to get a book ahead of time to be able to read. And the only books that I have in my house are clinical. They're not fun. They're not going to like help me pass the time in like a riveting way. So I wanted to go to the library because I now have a

library card. That's like part of my dream life and frugal life. The library was closed. I had jury duty on Tuesday. It was like, I'll go on Monday, but the library was closed that Monday. So then I'm like, oh no, it was six o'clock. What am I gonna do? Eric was like, do you just want to go to a store and buy a book? I was like no. I mean not that I don't want to support authors, but it does kind of feel like a waste of money because I'm not a person who like rereads books.

I thought to myself, let's find one of those free libraries in our neighborhood. You know, like people put up their boxes on their property. We apparently have like four in our neighborhood. Eric remembered one. So we got on our bikes and we went on a mission and I found one, and I found two books that were actually really interesting to me. So I got those two books, so didn't spend any money on that. Packed into my backpack to be able to take with me for the

next day. Then I packed a lunch. I know that there was vending and whatever, but I'm going to pack a lunch. Did that, and also I had a gift card for breakfast at Chick fil A, so I got up early, went to Chick fil A, got my free breakfast, took my packed lunch, took my free borrowed books. On top of the world, able to be flexible, not stressed about the fact that I'm showing up to jury duty. I was there all day, eight thirty until five thirty. I was a part of the selection process, but I

wasn't finally selected for the actual jury. But I was there from eight thirty a m untill five thirty PM. Walked out of the courthouse at five thirty PM to a flat tire. Yeah. Uh, that was not what I expected at the end of a long jury duty day. But you know what, It's not gonna get me down. I did have roadside assistance that covers fifty dollars. When I called, they said, well, we'll just have someone come out and help you change this to the spare tire

that cost fifty dollars, so that's free. Great. Did have to wait for a while. I did what I could. I got the spare tire out, I got the jack out, I started reading the manual. I couldn't get the lug nuts off. Not gonna lie, couldn't do it. And actually a cop came by to try and help me, and he couldn't do it anyther He's like, well, we need water. I was like, I caught water. He's like, all right, best of luck to yet luck. Someone came someone changed

it to the spare. Then I was like, is seven o'clock. I'm not making dinner. I had a gift card to Corrabba's, met up with my husband at Corrabbas. Ain't dinner on the gift card. So but still I'm going to have to buy a new tire probably. Uh so jury duty still did cost me despite all of my efforts. But you know what, I got a sinking fund. We're gonna be able to get ourselves a new tire. But my good was that a day. Oh my goodness. I heard

about the tire. And when Travis got off the phone with Eric, he was like He turned to me, He's like, you you change your own tire, right? And I was like, what in God's good earth makes you think I can change my own tire. I have chan showed you once I have changed the tire before. Yes, I could do it. I just could with the tools that I had in the car. The lug nuts would not come off. And again someone else came by uh able bodied male tried with the same tools that I had and could not

do it us. And the person who came he had like an impact driver and that's how he was able to do it. But it was still free. And I did what I could. I wasn't a sitting duck. I put my hands to good use. You did, and I am so proud of you because I wouldn't have even tried. I would have walked. I would have found to taco bell and there was only a jail nearby, so I don't know. I thought there was always a by a jail,

that there's a taco bell by every jail there. It's only gonna cost me the new tire, not breakfast lunch, someone showing up books. I could have spent a lot more mhm, but it's not in my values system to do. That's the moral of the story, and I tried to twist it, but I am so proud of you. I mostly just needed to get that story out into the world. Did they let you take your phone? Yeah, so in the waiting room, I was able to have my phone. Then when we got to the selection process, you couldn't.

But it was kind of riveting or like asking everybody like these intense personal questions and so like me and myself was like I'm here for this. It was a long time. It was like three hours, but it was like three hours. Do you think about the justice system? What do you think about cops? Do you have any strong opinions on this? On that? So it was like it was real. It was sixty people and they questioned all sixty of us, and we all in front of

each other and of each other, sixty people. We sat there for hours and it was what do you do for a living? Married? You have kids? What do you do for fun? Do you have strong opinions? Like have you had sexual abuse training? Like it was all of the things and everyone had to answer in front of everyone else, so strong opinions, and that's why you weren't selected. No,

I wasn't. I think I was selected. I wasn't selected because I did have way too much training on the topic that they are um charging someone with and they didn't want that. All right, well you'll get them next here, next time with my packed lunch. Yes, okay, that's my dream life.