How To Buy Happiness

got enough money, you can be happy. And that's what we are here to say and preach, and we're gonna show you how to purchase your happiness. And that's why, probably why it was such a popular episode. Hot take. Everybody wants yeah, everybody wants to be happy, um, and we're gonna show you how to buy it. So this is a very fun episode. Spoiler alert, there's you know, a little sarcasm. But first let's share who. This episode

is brought to you by Rebate on Miller White. Katie from our fergal Friends community on Facebook recently shared that while binge listening to the podcast, she came to our episode on roth Iras and heard our lightning round, which was our funny stories about iras, so she shared hers, and it was that she opened her first rath Ira with a dollar rebate she got back from a Miller Lte beer purchase, further hitting home or belief that you can start investing with literally any amount of money from

almost anywhere the dollar Miller Lte rebate. We just want you to know how much beer you bought, Katie. Yeah, how much beer? Did you buy? Much beer? And then how much beer will be bought in the future because of the roth Ira a investment. So good, Katie. So you're not actually sponsored by Miller White, but we're here

for that rebait only the rebate, only the rebates specifically. Um. This episode is also kind of brought to you by Tuesday because if you will notice, it's not Friday, and we're very excited to share that from here on out you will be getting two episodes a week, not one. But does love a Bogo, Well, you're not even buying anything, You're just getting to for free every week. Yes, because why not. We're not busy with other things. We just want to keep talking with each other and then sharing

it with you. Absolutely and again, this this Tuesday episode is kind of also brought to you by the iHeart Podcast Network because their partnership us being part of their network allows us to be able to do more of what we love of our favorite thing, which is bringing you the podcast for free, and it allows us to do less of what we don't like to do and still feed our families lots and lots of take out

and lots and lots of champagne. So I'm still feeding my family rice and beans because it turns out it's really tasty. Oh wow, you're you're just doing rice and beans? Wow'rede check got lost in the mail? Um. Yeah, But so we appreciate you listening and tolerating the ads as we all do on podcasts because it allows us to bring you more of these. So thank you Tuesday, Thank you I Heart, Thank you rebates on Miller Lite. Thanks

Tuesday so beautiful. Yes, uh so, if you are looking for even more frugal friends to queue up, if two episodes a week is not going to be enough for you, definitely turned back the clock, head up to episode two oh six, or head back to episode two oh six Building Holistic Wealth with Keisha Blair. That one was a great one. Talks a lot about what truly makes us happy and how to afford it. I love, love loved that episode and then also episode how to Approach and

control emotional spending. We usually approach our spending with we we make impulse spends when we're stressed or we have negative emotions, but we talk a little bit about like kind of celebrating, like celebratory emotions or positive emotions are also kind of rewarded with spending. And so that is another one. Episodes two o six and real good ones

to cue up after this one. So let's get back into this one really excited about this hot take on whether or not money can purchase happiness and just how to enjoy life more. Let's do it. Our first articles from Forbes and it's called the five Principles of Happy Money. So we're just going to go through those ones first, and uh yeah, it's yeah. So the first one is

to buy experiences. Research shows that material things turn out to provide less happiness than experiential purchases, but for some reason, we we continue to buy things because when you buy something, you have it long term, and so we think, oh, I'm gonna buy the shirt and I'm going to get to wear it over and over and over, and that

is going to bring me happiness every time I wear it. Um, But the law diminishing returns, will, you know, remind us that it only will bring you happiness for so long. Whereas an experience, the the anticipation of it, the actual experience, and the memories associated with it, you carry those with you for much longer than the happiness that an item can bring those that you've shared those memories with as well.

It's amazing how I can recall maybe one time of spending three hours with somebody, and it is it feels as though I spent a lot longer than that with with somebody, given whatever kind of circumstance or activity you're doing side by side. It's it's quite amazing how important experiences are and the memories that are created as a result of that versus just like what we can do with our things in isolation. Yeah, when I was paying off debt, I had a rule that I would never

drink alone. So whether that was alcohol or coffee or whatever, I would never drink alone. And that was to save money because I love the experience of getting coffee with a friend or going to a bar. Um but alcohol and coffee tend to be expensive after you, you know, buy them a lot. So I gave myself freedom to enjoy those things, but only if I experienced them with someone.

That's a helpful boundary line, especially when you're aiming at certain financial goals that could be And yeah, it aims at the experience of it and not just the thing that you're consuming. Yeah, I like that, And that kind of ties into number two on this list is make it a treat. And so the article argues that when something is always available, we're less inclined to appreciate that thing. This goes in line with growing up in an area and never having been to the local museums or even

some of the local parks because it's just there. I don't know, it's like that's in my backyard. I just never go versus others who come to visit. It's like that happened to us all the time growing up outside Philly. People were like, I want to go see the Liberty bell Is. It's so amazing, Like I want to see the Betsy Ross House, I want to all these things. And we're just like, oh, yeah, Like I went there once on a field trip in elementary school. It's just there.

You just don't think about it. Um. And so using that mentality, we can create things to be treats and to be exciting um. And so in the article they give this example of like they went on a vacation and they found this wine that they really liked, and then they had wine every single night for dinner. And then suddenly they didn't want wine anymore. It wasn't a treat.

And so in some ways, kind of abstaining from a thing or a purchase or inactivity for a time that you typically enjoy can help to make that thing a treat and then you can, yeah, spend money on that thing, but it doesn't have to be all the time. We don't have to gorge ourselves on that thing. And and in in some ways that kind align with fruit frugal principles as well of yeah, by the things that you enjoy, but it doesn't need to be amassed in large quantities.

Do it occasionally look forward to doing it. Well, that's one of the reasons that I love doing no spend challenges. When I was paying off debt, I had these habits built up and I didn't even realize them. Um, that I would just spend money without thinking, but abstaining from it for just a few weeks put things back into perspective for me. And so these things, once I could do them again, felt like treats. Oh my word, it's like what has happened with COVID nineteen and all that

we have not had access to. Like just getting to gather with somebody outside feels like an enormous treat. Um. I know in our area even like restaurants outdoor restaurants just opened up, and so even being able to eat outside and and you see that, you see the benefit that that can have on your bank account, and then create Like I know for myself, I plan Eric's hearing this for the first time to not go out to eat as often as I did prior to all of

this happening. I'm still going to get take out, don't get me wrong, but going out to eat is quite an expense that I need to treat as a treat, pun intended, pun intended more than just like how I feed myself. For sure. It's just taking a step back every once in a while, um and and just re recalibrating and looking at things as they are intended to be and in the same like with turning coffee and bar you know, things into experiences that also turned it

back into a treat for me. So I actually sought out people to the introvert in me, you know. So it was a way to maintain community because paying off debt can also be kind of isolating. Um. So it was a way for me to seek out community away for me to make these things into treats, so I didn't feel like I was depriving myself. So that you know, the pendulum swung swung from all the way abstaining to all the way indulging. It's still kept it in balance and check, but saved me money and I was able

to feel really excited every time I went out. It feels a bit gamified to me too in some ways. And setting up these boundary along with this for yourself, yeah, i'd be curious and feel free to engage with us on our focal Friends Facebook community group. Did I say that right? Chical friends community on Facebook? Yeah? Okay, uh. In in some of the ways that you have set up boundary lines for yourself in a way that maybe gamifies or make something into a treat or yeah, that'd

that'd be fun. I know that we do these things at different times, like the no spend challenge or like what you know, the boundary lines that you've set up for yourself to drink coffee. I think that can help us in this journey to create some fun around what might typically be mundane or routine. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. UM. The third is to buy time, outsource your dreaded tasks in order to have more time

to follow your passions. UM. So if money is an issue, consider outsourcing things like cleaning the house so you can work more and earn more money to pay for the house being cleaned. And this I think is a huge mindset block for a lot of people. I'll say for me initially paying to outsourced dreaded tasks or um, I'll talk about this later, but to um, you know, pay for things so that I was able to earn more money.

UM that I felt a lot of guilt about having to do that, UM, but reframing it to be about like, no, I'm buying time so that I can do more of the things I enjoy. I think it's a prioritizing issue too, And I noticed this in my own life where I know what my priorities are. I say that I know them, but then what I'm actually doing with my time is not that I get so caught up in the menial tasks that keep me from doing what I actually want

to do. And I think that this is along those same lines of saying what do you actually want to put your time to? Then put your money towards the things that you don't want to be doing. And that's not to say, like, Okay, this is not for everybody to hire a house cleaner, like I'm sure that there could be a millionaire arguments against doing that. However, find

out what that is. What are you spending your time on that is keeping you from doing the things that you want to be doing or the things that can help make you more money. And it doesn't even have to beat time consuming things. But if you'd rather be doing a side hustle than be doing your laundry, holy smokes, do your side hustle and take your laundry to the dragon. If your side hustle is more profitable at least, yeah,

then it's worth it. I also and and so I think we talked about this in one of our early early episodes. In the archives. So I want to dig up this concept again because it's something that has really stuck with me and has shifted a lot of the way that I approach money and think about this specific topic.

When Eric and I were in Uganda, UM we were building homes and setting up solar power and different things like that UM for an organization down there, and we when engaging with the local people there, we realized that so many had people cleaning their homes that they paid, people watching their children that they paid UM and they themselves were maybe not making in our in my mind, like a lot of money and yet and so I was talking with some people about that, and they were like, well,

this is what we see as the right use of our money. That if I can afford to provide some sustenance to somebody else, then that is my responsive ability to do that, versus hoarding it all and saying I can do it all. I can watch my kids, I can clean the laundry, I can do the dishes, I can make the food, I can work, I can show for I can be on the p t A Like

this is a mentality. This is such an individualistic mentality that can really be a detriment to our mental health, to our happiness as we're talking about um and and this intersects with a lot of other things that we're going to talk about on this list of like being generous. Not that I think paying somebody for their work is generous, but that idea that like, is better to give than

to receive. And so if we are able to afford to give others a task, to give others a job and pay them for it, like, it's it's our responsibility at least the way. That's the way. That's something that I took from that culture. Uh, and that has really shifted the way that I view my money and the way that I engage with that because I think we feel like frugality means hoarding your money, doing everything to

scrimp and save and scrounge. But frugality is just about widening the gap between what you spend and what you earn. Like that's what frugality is to us, is widening that gap so that you have more disposable income to do with the things that make you happy. And so like I love that concept. Yeah, And and it is happiness if you do choose to buy a house cleaner and come home and the dishes are done and you didn't know them. Yeah, that sounds good. UM. The fourth one

on this list is pay now, consume later. So they're talking about paying up front for whatever cost it is. They're primarily talking about vacation and delaying the consumption for that UM, and you can buy more happiness even as you spend less on those things. UM. Delaying consumption allows us to reap the pleasure pleasures of even anticipation. And

I love what's being talked about here. And this is actually UM a concept or even like a tool that I was handing out to people in the midst of COVID nineteen and managing anxiety and figuring out how how do we find purpose if maybe we are without work or we've experienced extreme disruption or transition in our lives. And one of the things that we found as clinicians was really helpful and is always really helpful, just kind of pulling on and amplifying this is we need something

to look forward to, all of us. And really we're talking about hope, like we need hope. That is true across the board, but particularly when things are very uncertain, it is important to have things to look forward to or when things are very, very difficult, it's important to say, what can I set my sights on that helps me to pull up out of my immediate circumstances. And that is true regardless of whether or not there's a global

pandemic happening. It is helpful for us to have something that we can set our sights on and say, this thing is coming. I wouldn't say, and neither does this article say that the anticipation is better than the thing itself, but it is still really helpful. You do also have to go and do that thing so that you can continue to perpetuate the idea that this is going to be fun, and that's what provides you the opportunity to look forward to it. Uh. But paying for your vacations

ahead of time, planning in advance. They talk about how they stayed at like six different places and all they had to pay was like the incidentals yeah yeah, which they ended up getting back on their card. So almost like I was thinking about you when I was reading this article, like their own version of an all inclusive by having um prepaid all of these things. So I think that's another way to look at you, know, you know, whether that's Christmas shopping or vacation planning, or you name it.

Something that can be down the road that you pay for now when you have the money. It can help. I think the main idea is to shift from um, consume now, pay later, which is how credit cards typically work UM, to something that is save, save, save, pay consume UM. So trying to shift the order in which you do things. UM. The fifth one is invest in others. So research has shown that spending money on others provides a bigger happiness boost than spending money on yourself. And

they did this experiment in the book UM. Between the researchers, they gave money to a bunch of people, and the half that spent it on other people reported feeling better overall. UM. So investing in others is such a big way that we can use our money. UH for us. I have always said giving is more for us than it is for the people we are giving to. And I will

stand by that giving is more for the giver. And so you don't need to be an angel like you don't need to be Oh yeah, there's always ulterior motives behind doing big things. Makes us feel good, but okay, makes other people feel good day, embrace it and do more of it. Yeah, I don't feel like you have to feel like a I don't know those angel investors or those people that give that are really good people. I'm a horrible person, so I don't even know what

they're called. Don't even let them fool you. They're doing it because it makes them feel good. Yeah, just do more of what makes you feel good. And we know, right, we know now that that is investing in others. Research

has shown that's what it is. Yes, well said, and we'll get more into that, even in this next article, which provides us with four tips for happy spending, and it comes from ink dot com, So we'll go through all four yes, and again it it's a repeat of the first article, but I think it's worth repeating because I think that there's something behind this. And so number one says, spend spend your money on extra time, hiring a housekeeper of virtual assists, sence, splurge for a grocery delivery,

so they reference. So this is actually the science behind how spending can bring about some happiness. We don't want to just throw this concept of money doesn't buy happiness out the window when there could be some actual science behind saying, well, it can bring about some joy if we do it well. And so it referenced the study of Americans showing pretty definitely that people who value time over money are happier than those who don't. And so

they're arguing, all right, then spend your money. I'm creating more time for yourself. Chances are yeah, you'll feel good about that. You won't regret that. I will say I don't always do grocery deliveries, or I don't always do the all the you know, the meal prep services. But when I do, oh my word, it's so much freedom, especially if I've budgeted for it. So please hear us that we are not talking about spending outside of your means to do these things. These are absolutely budgeted for things.

But when we've done that and we see that we have maybe a little bit of discretionary income, what we might be spending on like stupid trips to target could actually be going towards these more intentional areas. That is, that's the goal with this, is to put it in your budget. Don't let mindless spending dictate how you spend your money. Essentially like, don't wake up and wonder where your money went. Make a budget, but be intentional with

putting things that have been proven to increase happiness. Putting those things in your budget. Um. The second one is to spend your money on great experiences. UM. So, like I was saying before, just because physical thing the last longer doesn't mean they bring happiness for a longer period

of time. So when you're creating your budget prior to prioritize at least one experience each month, I think that's not too much to you know, to spend on like one experience to look forward to every month and then really fun to do and you can, oh my gosh group on living Social yelp. There's so many ways to get experiences inexpensively, um, but budget in great experiences. And when you do that number three, spend it with and

on someone that you care about. So psychologists believe, and this is referenced in the article that one reason experiences seem to make us happier than things is that we often share them with a friend or a partner or a family member. And so while doing free things with people you love is great, you should also budget for the cost of that, um. But not just experiences, but with other people can bring about connection with others. And I will say, and this is another um therapeutic tidbit.

Play is so important and there's tons of studies on play. We've talked about it and books written about play, just the amazing hormones that it releases, and especially when we play side by side with other people, it bonds us to one another. UM, it helps us to have a more positive outlook on life. It increases our feelings of happiness and joy. And I could go on and on, but play is so important, and I think that that is also one of the things that happens with experiences.

Usually when we're spending money on experiences, they're fun. They are our version of play. And when we invite other people into that, and when we're willing to spend on that, we don't always have to pay for another person, but invite them in. And if possible, if you've budgeted for it, yeah, pay for your friend to join you. And that will increase bonding and connection, which again increases our levels of our experience of happiness and joy and life giving things.

So all of this, yeah, it is rooted in some some studies, some science, some psychology that these are some ways that we can intentionally spend money. Yeah, and to circle back to number one, if you are not finding that you have enough time to play or time to spend with people you care about or have experiences at least once a month, it maybe time to pay somebody to free up some of your time. That maybe time to really examine your budget, your work schedule, how much

your side housing. Maybe you need to slow down your debt payoff um or your savings rate. It may be time to just meditate on it so that because you do not get this time back, like it's fun to say, I paid off, you know, seventy eight thousand dollars of debt in less than two years, but I don't get those two years back. So and there are things that I wish that I dine. I for the most part, I'm super happy, um, you know with how I balanced my debt payoff. But I still have some regrets. And

so you don't get that time back. You have to be okay with however you lived it. It's reminding me of this concept that you presented Gen and episodes back about being your own CEO, like the CEO of your finances and kind of thinking. If a business were run that way would be super ineffective and inefficient if like the CEO couldn't actually get the things done that they

needed to get done to move their business forward. Like once businesses reach a point where they need to hire new people, they need to recognize that, like, all right, we've reached a point of capacity where now we need to hire out some of the things that we do, or we need to bring on another employee. And yes, that's similar concept. If I'm realizing I don't have the time to do everything, then maybe it's an indicator that I've reached my capacity and my limitation and I need

to bring someone else in to help. I just recently in my business, brought on a virtual assistant because I realized that my time was more valuable working on higher level projects than you know, the menial day. Today, we just outsourced the editing of our podcast. We did It's so so these are things that you hear about inside hustles and businesses. Um, but they are the same concepts that you should be applying to your own life to

make it as effective as possible. Yeah, So the those are the ways, those are our tips for happy spending. Those are the ways we believe that you can spend happiest. And I mean, if it's nothing that makes me more happy, there's literally nothing that makes me more happy. Every week, then the bill of the week. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're

happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's built buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week, Jill. It's Olivia calling from Denver, Colorado. I Bill the Week gives a little bit of a stretch, but just bear with me. My favorite bill is actually even two dollar bills that I use when feeling at my gooter with gas. I recently purchased a Harndon Metropolitan and because the scooter gets about a hundred miles to the gallons, it only requires um one gallon of gas.

That's at a time. It can only hold one gallon of gas. So therefore, because of the price of gas right now, um, it only costs me about one or two dollar bills every time you need to pull up the tank. So there you have it. That's my favorite bill of the week. Um, have a great day, and thanks so much for what you to do. Olivia, Olivia, this should be illegal to call in, making a so jealous on so many levels. First of all, you live

in Denver, Colorado. That's beautiful. Second of all, two dollar bills. You've got your hands on some two dollar bills. Those are amazing and I don't think we've ever had that. A Third, you have a scooter, which is super fun and cool. Fourth, you only need to spend two dollars to fill up your one tank of gas to get you all over town. Fifth, your name's Olivia. That's awesome. Six how many can I get up to? I don't know where you're going. What was the name of that scooter.

I'm looking at up Metropolitan, Metropolitan. I need to see it for myself. This was amazing. It didn't even require any bearing with you. That was all. I love it. I'm I'm looking at driving off into happy freedom, my gosh, freedom from gas bills. If you have any adorable things that you want to call in about that have to do with a bill, or maybe require a bill or or something, um, please uh man. Frugal friends, podcast dot com slash Bill and we want to hear about them

and we will celebrate with you. It's what we are best at celebrating people. It's amazing. No, it's time for that lightning. You have to My child is sleeping. I just remembered that. So we are going to share one change, UM, that we've each made to spend happier, and one change we need to make. So this is one thing we've done, and then one thing that we need to get better at. So UM. First one that I did, UM, and this was a big This was a big mind cluster cuss

for me. UM, so is daycare. I had visions of my life of being a stay at home mom, um, work from home mom. I wanted to do it all, and then very quickly after the birth of my son, realized, like, that's not me. That's not my life, that's not my happiness. It's what I thought. Uh, it wasn't right, but that's just not me. So I thought it. But Um, when he was four months old, UM, I put him into a private in home daycare and part of me was sad that I felt like it was a failure UM

because I couldn't mom hard enough. UM. But I realized I can make more money having by paying to put him in daycare. So I have been able to really grow my own business only because I have him in

daycare for days a week. And to highlight to what you're describing for yourself as what you know is helpful to experience the different expressions of yourself, what what is helpful for your mental health, for your professional growth, for you being the best mom that you can be, Like, it's not at least what I'm hearing you say is it's not just about the money aspect, but also the

ways that that impacts you holistically. And I think, I mean, this is such an important thing what you're describing, because there's also the barriers of mom guilt which is so real, totally smart um, and the different life choices that all moms make. And it does not mean that you love Kai any less because you're not a at home mom, like holy smokes, mom of the year. Actually I'm nominating you this is this means a lot because you saw

me almost drop him on his head yesterday. No, but the thing I wanted to focus on was the fact that you had an amazing feat of strength and like uh, fastness, what's the word I'm looking for. Thank you in catching him like he did not fall. It was amazing. It was incredible to watch anyhow, not to mention that I it was my fault, but but also you you have chosen what has worked best for you, which is part time.

Like guy's not in daycare seven No, no, child doesn't take care of twenty wur seven, but he's Yeah, Like, it's a part time thing for you. And I think that I always am super encouraged to see people operating in their specific expressions of where their giftings lie and to be the best that they can be on all levels. And you've found that for yourself, and and I think it helps to give other people the freedom and permission to do that and not shame one another for what

is chosen. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Um. So for me, something that I have shifted and has my goodness brought me so much happiness is giving gifts to other people. Um. This is something that we do budget for. And I will say it's something I've always desired to do, but finances for a long time, we're not there. Like I was so desirous of, Uh, even just small things like

knowing it someone's birthday. It's probably my love language, I suppose, like wanting to give people things because I know it makes me feel good. Like I'm not Mother Theresa here. Um, that's who I was trying to think out. Oh thank you. But honestly, this is an unpopular opinion probably, but Mother Theresa felt good for doing the things that she did. You know she did so yeah anyhow, and just refusing

to feel guilty about it. And because this does satisfy something for me, like I am able to go shopping pick up like all the cute things that I see at the store, but then give them to somebody else. So like I get to shop, I get to buy cute things, and then I give it to somebody else

and it's just like win win win across the board. Um, and I I just I refused to feel that like shopping guilt for that because of the value that it places on other people and the fact that I have the money to do that I have allotted for it. So oh my gosh, here's something you should go to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash raise and get a gift card for somebody. Yeah, I mean you get free of five three dollars by using our referral code and then give that to somebody my word, give it forward

everybody in the forth and back and forth. Yeah, we'll post the link in there. That's set. Okay, that's right, that's done, is done. What she needs to My next thing, one chain that I want to make is to increase my giving. Um, I want to give more to more organizations doing work that I think is necessary. But more so, I want to give to more people in my community. Uh, like we need to feel connected right now. And I may not have a big income compared to some people,

but it's big compared to others. And so I want to use what I've been blessed with to encourage others. And I have a I just made a YouTube video recently about like ways that you can give without having a lot of money and like to vote with your dollar.

And one of the things that I remember really significantly when I was a broke college student is that I would, um, I went to go get gas several times at this gas station and there would be just twenty dollars on the pump, just prepaid, and so like as a broke college student, that made such a big impact having twenty in my tank, um, and so like it's stuff like that, Like I want to do that for people, um and I have, I've done it before, but like I want

to be more intentional and not wondering, not stressing so much of like whether I give money to the person on the side of the road, like what are they going to do with it? Are they going to use it efficiently and effectively? Like who that pick cares? Like I've stopped caring about that that that cannot be Like I'm going to give you money and it's not like it's not up to me with what you're going to do with that, Like I don't have to, but like if I want to, I'm going to and I'm not

going to second guess myself. Yeah. Absolutely. Also, uh so for me, you have a more altruistic goal in money you already have, You're already doing the altruistic for you whatever. No, you're no, you're better your okay. I want this is more like a perspective shift more than it is something that's like actually like this is already happening. I just want to change my perspective on it. So like ordering out and allowing myself to have a higher food budget

guilt free. So I can feel so much comparison when I see people in the personal finance space talking about, Hello, is your grocery budget? What's everybody's food budget? I mean, it is one of our biggest areas of spending and where we want terrain and spending. So it's such a hot topic and people are talking about it all the time. Of Oh, for for a couple, I spend fifty dollars a month, and I'm just like, oh my word, I'm nowhere near that. But I am so beyond that amount

of money. But yet I recognize where my life season is and how first of all, just like stressed and annoyed and frustrated, I get at why we have to eat three meals a day. I mean I've cut it down to two and some days down to one, but like,

why you're so thin? That's sickening. It's just I'm so tired of thinking about food, And then every time I do think about food, then I just take it even further where I think I have to do this for the rest of my life, Like I'm already done with it in my thirties and I potentially have forty more years of needing to think about food every single day. It's like that, that's where it's at for me. Bad. It is. I like food, don't get me wrong, but

to think about I've got to go grocery shopping. I've got a meal plant, I've got to prep it, I've got to cook it, I got to clean up after it. I gotta then think about what are we doing the next day. It's just like, oh my goodness, I can't on top of everything else that I'm doing. So anyhow, what I'm saying is wanting to give myself the permission that, hey, my food budget is a lot higher, but I have budgeted for it, and and my food budget, to be fair,

includes everything. It includes all my beverages, my eating out, my dining in, my groceries, it's everything. But yes, it is higher than fifty a month. It is higher than for yourself. Yeah, and I think I just need the permits I need to just experience the permission of this is what I've budgeted for, I have the money to do it. This is where my values are. This is what helps free up time for me to do the things that I want to do. This is how I'm

going to feed myself at least for this season. I mean, it's much better than saying than you know, meal planning out seven dinners for the week, but always failing, you know, twice a week, and then you feel the guilt and instead just budget it in and let go of the guilt, give yourself great cycle I get into yea is I'll go and I'll get a ton of stuff from the grocery store, and then halfway through the week I don't have the capacity for it. So then I'm also ordering out.

And then it's just like, well, this is ridiculous because now I have gone grocery shopping and I'm eating out, and that's where it's not okay, and it goes beyond. So and if this is somewhere that you're trying to rain in, So if you're more like me and you're just like I love to think about my next meal after my last meal, then then try and get creative,

like with your budgets. So give yourself grace, go lowly. Um. But then maybe maybe next month you keep the same food budget, but you think about how you can work more creatively with it. So try to eat out, uh, you know, increase you're eating out without increasing your spending. So gamify it. There's nothing wrong with gamifying how you do frugality. And I'm still like, goodness, what when I say that what I'm doing is I'm picking up Chick fil A chicken fingers and I'm putting it on lettuce

that I did buy from a grocery store. But that to be guilt free about it versus in my mind where all goes, I should have made that chicken myself. I should have gone to the meat market where I can get discounted chicken, and I should have done all like And I not right now, maybe eventually, but and and it shs with season because chick Fili chicken is good like, it's delicious. I learned that that one of their secrets is marinating their chicken and pickled juice. Still

pickled juice. It's true. So if you need one more thing on your plate, um marinate your chicken. Don't pickle juice. If you if that's what brings you joy, well, we hope you enjoyed this rerun, and we wanted to give you a little update on our Lightning Round responses, which is a change you've made made to spend happier and one change you're going to make. So Jill, what's your update. I love listening back what this would have been about a year ago, maybe a little less than a year,

a two years, year and a half. Yeah, math, and some of these things are still so true for me. But then some thing's yeah, I've seen growth in progress, which is exciting. So just a side note for anybody journal or document or have a way to look back on your life in some way, because there's real benefit and treasures hidden in that process. So yes, I still give gifts to people. They don't always look tangible. Sometimes it's just in the form of buying food, which is

tangible I suppose, or having experiences together. But also if I'm going to give something, it's usually gonna be a plant or a flower, and you all know that. It's then and I love that And that has definitely continued. And then this part about ordering food and my food budget being higher, Yes, I have experienced more and more grace and permission in that area towards myself. But one thing I've recently changed that has helped me a ton is I used to keep my line item of food

in my budget as just one thing. So whether it was groceries or take out or restaurant. It was all clumped into just food, and that was one of the reasons that it felt so so high, but yet I couldn't seem to get it down to the spot that I thought was going to be the best place to

have it at. And separating it out between groceries and restaurant slash take out just two different categories, aligning that with my values but also being realistic with I really don't want to spend more than X y Z on this, but yet we can still go out has really helped

me a ton. And I recognize it's probably just a mindset or perspective shift thing, but pulling that apart has helped me to see really where I'm spending that maybe I don't want to be spending so much, or oh, this is okay because I feel good about this amount on groceries, and I feel good about this amount on restaurants and it feels like a treat. So I'm leaning

into groceries and eating at home more. And for whatever reason for me, it has really helped to keep me right where I want to be and within my what I make each month. So that's been a helpful shift, so good. So I talked about daycare and how I had to relinquish the guilt that I could do it all, and I am. I am sitting pretty girl. You know. I love spending money on daycare. Now it's the thing when people ask what do you spend on without guilt?

It's daycare for me because it has been not just good for me, but it has been so good for Kai, like he has flourished, learned so much. We are so thankful for Mrs Abelle at daycare. It is the best money that I spend every month. It's so great. And I can affirm that like just going with you to pick up Kai from Miss Isabel's and just he's so happy, all the other kids are so happy, and yeah, it's really great. So that is a that was a total that was a big stressor for me not being able

to do it all. So that was that was that And he I think he had already been in daycare for a little while when we recorded this, So yeah, that that's been great. And then I'm still working on looking for opportunities to give I do I have Ever since the episode, I've been giving every month to organizations that I really believe in so I feel good about that. And I have found little places where I can give to people in my community, whether it's cash or just

a little feel good gift or whatever. So yeah, I've been doing better with that, but like always could improve. So yeah, looking forward to even more growth, especially with these two episodes a week. Imagine the exponential growth we're all going to experience. I'm so excited. Oh, I'm so excited. So thank you so much for listening. I hope that you will listen twice as much as you have been.

And we just want to um congratulate one of our members in our private community or Frugal Friends Club, where we do monthly money challenges to help people save money and spend better. And so this one is from Debbie, who has been experiencing a lot of winds lately and so I just had to pull out a few. She says,

I'm so thankful for this group. The last two months have been challenging, but the lessons I've learned and the changes I've made since starting to listen to the podcast and joining Frugal Friends Club provided firm support to navigate the challenges. The most powerful one is a mindset shift that setbacks and mistakes are not only okay therein fable with a newly adopted growth mindset, they're actually opportunities to

continue to learn and grow. We were prepared for the challenges thanks to sinking funds in a health savings account, both tools I learned about through the podcast and Frugal Friends Club. We've had to pause our debt payoff plans for a little while, but I know this is a season which will pass. And Second, the concept of finding and creating my own path, Wow, she says in all caps. Uh. Instead of being dismayed and we're feeling guilty and afraid.

When I look at our financial situation, I'm confident that I can put together a plan that works for me. I am equally confident that I can tweak that plan and even pivot when the need arises. Congratulations, Debby. This is so much that's so exciting to celebrate with you, all of these winds and this is just a snippet. This is like the iceberg of winds that you've been experiencing. It's amazing what you've set your hands in mind too. Absolutely, congrats, Debbie,

So thank you for listening. If you want to check out our monthly challenge. Club had to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club to see what challenge we have coming up next. See y'all next week, I mean Friday. I have to change that. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirian oh Man. Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun. I don't know how much of you can sing of that. That's it, That's all I'm gonna sing. Everyone knows I'm talking about gum and how much I love it, So

why wouldn't I sing that? Yeah, it was in your episode where we talk all about you, and that's one of the things you. I think it's in every episode. And my goodness, if I could find a pack of gum named Bill or William, that would forever and always be my bill of the week. Yeah, consistent. At least I'm consistent with my bill of the week. It's my bill of the bill of my life. Yeah. Well, we all can't be you, Jen stop it, but we can listen to you two times a week.