Episode three sixty nine, How to be content without being complacent.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity and life. Here your hosts Jen and Jill.
Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we are talking about contentment and not in a way that makes you feel like, oh, yeah, I can just forget and ignore everything else going on around me or everything I'm capable of because I'm content, but how we can use it as a tool to spend less while almost giving ourselves this responsible feeling to live into our full capacity.
It's this holding the tension between two things that finding the radical middle of I'm still moving forward and doing things, but also not inter rat race and know what is enough for me and can find contentment without stagnation. I think we're all on a journey in this, but it's such a good aim and we hope to kind of cover some of the basics and how we can aim at this.
Yeah, because this is a chapter in our book that we're writing, and so we wanted to do a full episode on it, just the two of us, to really talk about how this plays into values based spending, how it plays into your earning, your relationships, all of that. But first let's get to the important stuff. This episode is brought to you by three seconds. I'm going to give you three seconds to stop what you're doing and
go sign up for the friend letter. I know you've been meaning to do it, you just haven't gotten the chance because as soon as I'm done talking, we go right into the content and we don't give you the chance. And that's on us. So today you get three seconds of uninterrupted silence. You can pause the show, head to frugalfriendspodcast dot com and go sign up for the friend letter. Ready, go, and we're back. Okay, we're back.
Hopefully editor doesn't take out those three seconds.
Hopefully it stays early enough in the show that maybe he's still listening and hasn't just skipped forward. Probably not. Apologies if that wasn't three seconds. Anyways, we'll make a note in the show and the show outline if contentment and gratitude and all of these things around and thankfulness and embracing your season, these are things you're interested in. We have several other episodes that we have done. We have episode two forty eight Simple Money, Rich Life with
Bob and Linda Lodick. That is a really good one about simple living in your home and leisure and in your money. And then episode two fifty six using gratitude journaling to help you spend less. So those are really good. We also did one about embracing your season. That's another chapter in our book that's coming out. That was episode three forty two, so that one was as recent as October, the importance of honoring your season. So these are some good ones to queue after.
Yeah, but stick with us because this is a unique one in that we tip it turned to the internet. We look at two different articles that'll be in the top search about whatever it is that we're chatting through. What does Google have to say about it, and what we have to say about what Google has to say. It's a super complicated type of podcast structure, but today we're setting all that aside to just give you our
thoughts on this. Again, it's going to be in our book, so we're practicing using our own voices and giving you kind of the curated list and tips and ideas around where we've come to in the last five and a half years and kind of this blueprint. We totally believe that finances personal finances are not a one size fits all, but there are these foundational principles that are so helpful when it comes to refining how we spend, how we save, how we approach and understand money and move through life
as a result of that. And this idea of contentment is one of those foundational principles. But yet we want to tether it by saying also not becoming complacent, continuing to move forward. So that's what we're talking about. That's the direction that we're taking in this. And I think while we said we're not going to the internet and doing articles, we are going to turn to the dictionary because why not. I think we should totally understand how
do we how are we defining contentment versus complacency? And so to be contented if you were if you were to google dictionary this, it's feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation, and similar words to this would be satisfied, happy, pleased. I would probably add at peace. I think contentment leads to a peacefulness, not a hurried or anxious, constantly feeling inside of us. Versus complacency or being complacent is having or showing a lack of interest
or concern just like I don't even care. Probably probably a bit of a fatalist mentality if we were to relate it to anything. Some synonyms for this one include apathetic, uninterested, unconcerned, just who cares whatever happens. And we're gonna aim at contented. We're gonna aim at the satisfied, pleased, peaceful, satisfaction with our possessions, status, situation, all of those things. And of course money is intersecting with that.
Yeah, I think as products of hustle culture, we want to be grateful, right, we want to be grateful for what we have. But it's hard to be content when you think that your value in society, your worth in society is equated to the output. So even if it's not at work, it's at home with how many things you do with your kids, how great their lunches are, how the status you like that you show to your friends. It can show itself in a number of ways, right,
It's not all or nothing. So we want to look at the places where we are not content and kind of examine those things and think about how can I get there and what role does money play? So when you're content, it's you acknowledge two things. The first is you don't need more stuff. You don't need different stuff, You don't need new places to be happy. Contentment is the synonym for happy, it's the synonym for joy. So the things that you have are going to bring you joy.
When you pay off debt, when you have savings in the bank, those things do not inherently bring joy. I've seen a ton of people pay off their debt and afterwards, you know, the couples get divorced. I've seen people retire early and then head back to the workforce because they meet these goals that they are told is the secret to contentment. Early retirement, debt, freedom, paid off house, whatever, that these are what you need before you can be
fully happy or or just realize your full potential. Right in reality, these are not the things that are going to do that for you. You have to be content and happy and joyful and realize your full potential now. And these are just things that will We'll expound on it. So when you're content, you realize you don't need the financial goals and you don't need to buy more stuff, or renovate in a different way, or travel to all the places that you're going to. It saves you money
in that way and then the other. This may be even part three. I guess this may be a c. You also acknowledge the hard work you've put in to improve your spending, to say no to more stuff when your friends are to say no to certain types of travel because they don't suit you, or to say yes to certain types of travel when other people are not. And you celebrate these accomplishments, and you let them inspire you to keep moving. You realize what you are capable of.
You realize that you are You're not just floating through life buying the next thing, living paycheck to paycheck, just kind of floating through life. You're achieving things. And sometimes we think that other people are doing it, so we should be able to do it too. And I am so guilty of this. Every time I accomplish something, I never celebrate it. I'm always like, well, somebody else is doing it better, so I got to get to where
they're at. Contentment shows satisfaction. It's not just feeling, it's showing. So you are also in addition to saving the money, and knowing that the goals and the spending won't make you happy. You're also showing up and celebrating yourself and learning and learning new ways to achieve more, to figure out new ways to live into your full potential.
Yeah, I'm realizing we could be on either end of the spectrum, Like, complacency isn't the only option of where we could find ourselves. We could find ourselves on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, with that hustle, that grind that I've got to keep going and do the next thing before we even pause to consider. But where does my contentment lie? And then when you're complacent just kind of okay, las a fair who cares what happens next?
Probably this would coincide with ideas that things won't ever get better for me, scarcity, mindset, these kinds of things. So we could find ourselves on either end. And so contentment is holding the tension between those two things where we're not hustling to a point where we are lacking mindfulness and intentionality, but we're also not experiencing this degree of complacency either, holding the tension in that way.
Yeah, so let's expand on the these two pieces, the A and the B. Now I'm just saying it might be a C, but we're gonna I wrote it in the outline as an A and a B, so we're going to expand on those. So the first contentment you don't need more stuff, different stuff, is essentially contentment with what you own and do, and then the part B will be contentment with who you are and what you've done. So the first part, though, is contentment with what you
own and what you do. So people on social media or around you may be telling you that the next new thing or vacation will make you happier. I know millennials we value experiences more than things, but there comes a point where only so many vacations will add value to your life. Vacations, traveling, and you know, working abroad,
all that stuff. That's also not the true key to happiness. Uh. It's making sure that you are indulging in the experiences and having the experiences that are truly who you are, not what other people are telling you to be. So understanding that the places you go or the new things you buy won't make you happier. The only things that the only things that will truly make you happier are the things money can't buy. And we've said that over and over again, right, So, like, what are the things
money can't buy? They are the four fs. We think they're faith, family, friends, and fulfilling work. And that fulfilling work is professional and non professional, so either you're philanthropy or your professional life. They don't have to be the same, is the thing. Also, sometimes we think we have to do fulfilling work, like we have to do our passion as work. But you can have fulfilling work that is professional that pays you income, and fulfilling work that is
non professional that may not pay you an income. So these are this is kind of like the baseline for being content is having these things that you know money can't buy. Because new things bring joy, they do for a short time and they're great. But we want to focus on the vital few, the real the heavy hitters. We talk about the eighty twenty principle and saving money, Like we've got the vital few, and this is a topic that we're gonna talk more about in twenty twenty four.
Twenty percent of your actions result in eighty percent the outcomes. Right, it's the same with your experiences and your contentment. Twenty percent of these things that money can't buy are going to bring you eighty percent of your contentment. And so it's finding what for you are these heavy hitters that are really going to bring you joy for the long term that you really want to invest in, and those are they're not going to cost money, but it is going to take money for you to be able to
experience them. So we don't forget about the income and increasing the margin between income and expenses, but really look at those things that are going to bring you the most contentment.
The next category that we can look at in shaping where we are experiencing contentment is with who we are and what we've done. I think this is probably contentment two point zero. It certainly can take us some time to get to a place of contentment with what we own and what we do, but I think this is a deeper level of reconciling who we are, our personhood, our personalities, the things that we've done and accomplished. And I don't think that this is easily come by, and
I think there can be a lot of barriers. This experience can ebb and flow. But when we can find contentment at that deeper internal level, It too will have some really phenomenal impacts, certainly on our lives, our lifestyles,
and our finances. I think being content with yourself and who you are and what you've done has so much to do with contentment in our seasons, acknowledging the parts of the time that we're in currently that might limit us and be able to look for beauty in it, and the ways that the season helps you rather than
hurts you. I think we can often play that comparison game of looking at what we don't have because we see what others have around us, whether it's social media, people in our community, are close friends, maybe family, doesn't matter. Wherever we look, there's opportunities to see, Oh they're able to do this, but I can't because XYZ and this is a call to shift our focus to what's actually
within our control. All of us can have this propensity to focus on the things that give the most of our time, energy and attention to the things that are outside of our control that we don't have influence over, rather than what's inside of our control that we can shift and change. And similar when it comes to gratitude, being able to look at but what do I have as a result of this season? Jen, I know you've talked about like an example of having young kids. We're
just talking about this over coffee the other day. Yeah, yeah, I mean you speak for yourself. I mean, no, exactly what you said.
This is. This is what I'm going through right now, is that I have a lot of friends that don't have kids, and I'm looking at them and I'm getting down because I'm like, these people can do all this stuff that I can't. And I know full well if I did not have kids, that I would be looking at my friends that did have kids and being envious of them having what I want. So there's always going to be this creeping grass is green on the other side, right,
and and we're going to talk about that too. But like they the finding like acknowledging your entire season, right, not just the parts that are beautiful, but the parts that limit you, and still looking for beauty in that. So my kids, like they're expensive, they delay me from going out at night or ever. It's all like very If I focus on that, it's very depressing, right, Like I want to go out, I want to do these things.
I want to have more opportunities like to go to conferences and to do stuff in the business, and I'm just not in a season where i can do that. But it's still a beautiful time with them because They're never going to be this young ever again. I'm never going to have kids this young ever again, because we're done having kids, and there we are teaching them to be members of society and teaching them lessons that we
didn't necessarily get when we were younger. So there is there are these beautiful things, but I think we're maybe told just focus on the beautiful things. There's a lot of there's a lot of extremes on social media. It's either focus on all the beautiful things or dwell on all the sucky things. And I think I might have gotten on dwell on all the sucky things algorithm. But there is a radical middle in it, and that's where contentment is found. It's not the delusion that everything is
great and everything is worth being grateful for. It's just really acknowledgment and choosing to choosing to look on the bright side as much as you look at the realities.
Every choice is going to have an opportunity cost to it. There's always going to be consequences to the path that we've chosen, which I think can be really hopeful that that, oh, we can make decisions from here on out that we feel are going to benefit us and not stay stuck in the things that decisions we may have made in the past that now we're seeing ough this didn't benefit me as much as I had hoped. I think personally I can struggle with this at times. With the career
path that I chose. I chose to go into social work. I spent fifteen years in that profession and was able to accomplish some really beautiful things, but do not have
much to show for it in the bank. And I think I can get in these moments of man look at where all these other people are at at this stage of life in their mid thirties to forties, and they they're really established in their careers, and they've been able to increase their income and within the field that I was that I've been in, it just hasn't been as exponential as who I am choosing to look at, right, It also has to do with who are you choosing to compare to, But then at the same time being
able to recognize there's choices that I made, and none of it comes without a degree of sacrifice. But to also recognize for me personally, I wouldn't change any of it either. I am so grateful for the experiences that I've had in the field. Is what it has produced in me, my outlook on life, my understanding of the world around me, what it has led me to today.
And I think that's going to be the exercise of constantly looking at that, but then again not the complacency piece of what can I do going forward so that I can feel really good in the next ten to fifteen years as I look back on what I chose now to be doing with my time, energy resources, how can I be stewarding them to the best of my ability?
And I think content with your season in that way and yourself, it helps you to be able to acknowledge what you're good at, like what you enjoy, versus what drains you, looking at ways to do more of those things and less of the others. I think that too, has been helpful for me in my own career path chosen of Yeah, but this is what I was good at and this is what was life giving to me, And yeah, sure there's sacrifices to it, but there's sacrifices to the person who has made six figures every year
straight out of college. Like nothing is ever exactly how it seems to the thing that we're comparing it to. And so we can lean into and recognize what's my season, who am I, what am I good at, what's life giving, what's depleting? And do more of the things that are life giving less of the things that are depleting.
Yeah, I think it's it's a vicious cycle because I think complacency can come out of if we are trying to be content with what others find joy in instead of what we find joy in, then we can create this attitude of apathy because other people may like for me, I hate dishes, but I love meal planning. Other people hate meal planning, but they love cooking. So I personally, I'll make these beautiful meal plans, but I make sure they are as few dishes as possible, they are as
simple as possible. I spend a little more for pre chopped frozen veggies, but I still say because I'm following through with my meal plan, because I'm making I'm doing more of what I'm good at, and what I find joy in versus what people on social media who have their entire career around like cooking or maybe just like enjoy it more. I see these moms with like six
kids and they're always making these delicious meals. It's not me, But I can still find joy in this process by focusing on what I am better at, what I find more joy in. A question that we get a lot is like, how do you almost how do you find joy in becoming frugal? Right? Because spending money is fun. Doing stuff is fun, not quote quote unquote not doing stuff is not fun. And how do you focus on these long term goals? You find your why? How do you focus on your why for doing this stuff that
is seemingly hard? Is that is realistically hard? Is that you have to find joy in the day to day. You have to find the things that bring you joy. You have to find the things that you are good at, you love. Because when you create a frugal lifestyle that you enjoy living, then it's not a means to an end.
Then you're not looking for enjoy and spending money when you're still living a frugal life and you would rather be spending money, and you are bummed that you cannot go out and go shopping or do the expensive hobbies. You haven't found joy in your why and so there that just comes with practice, and it comes with a lot of introspection, and I mean it will be, It will happen. You just have to keep going with it and learning more about Okay, these are the things that
I don't like. These are the things I'm going to lay down. These are the things that I'm okay with. They don't really bother me, so they get to stay. And then these are the things I really love. These are the things I really enjoy day today, and they also help me get closer to my financial goals. They also help me spend less or earn more. These are
the places you want to spend your focus on. These are the places that when you invest in them, they are going to help you enjoy your frugal lifestyle and be content.
I think considering all of these things is an investment in ourselves and the long term of life. Again, this isn't the how exactly should I arrange my budget? This is the what do I want out of life? What do I want to be giving and receiving? And what makes me tick, what lights me up. It doesn't again have to be the exact job that you're doing. You could keep the job that you're doing and find these
things outside of it. But this is the deeper work that is going to mold and shape and shift a life of knowing what's enough of being content, which then helps us have more informed spending patterns, ways of managing money, not just kind of going after whatever is right before us, because we haven't yet discovered what it is that we enjoy, what it is that makes us tick, So we're kind of just grasping at anything that someone might tell us and spending money on it and kind of on.
That not so helpful beneficial cycle. So what do we do when complacency starts to creep in? Because you can't care one hundred percent of the time. I see all the time on like how to pay off debt articles? What's the first thing you do? Number one is always find your whye. Number two is always make a budget. And I'll just tell you that's the that's the top
half of every article about that. But like you can't care about your why all the time, It's impossible, Like sometimes you're just going to be apathetic about the journey. Whatever you're trying to do, whether it's safer retirement, payoff debt, get your finances on track, you cannot care one hundred percent of the time, so don't try. So what do we do when complacency starts to creep in? We refocus ourselves on contentment and that's where active gratitude comes in.
It is not the one hundred percent solution, but it is one highly effective thing that you can do to reorient yourself back to contentment. So the definition of thankful or grateful is the conscious is being conscious of the benefit received. So basically, you can't be happy about things you haven't acknowledged yet. That's why it's so important that the second part of contentment is recognizing and being satisfied with your accomplishments, with where you're at. So you can't
be happy about things that you haven't acknowledged. So really showing gratitude, gratitude, journaling, gratitude, meditation, however you want to practice it, it is simply acknowledging benefit benefits that have been received. So I would say if you're in a slump with your no spend January, if you are in a slump with your debt payoff. Then for two weeks, shift your focus to gratitude journaling. So make it a priority every day for two weeks to be doing some
sort of short gratitude journaling. And essentially that is just acknowledging benefits received that day, anything you received that day that is positive. Uh So, being and doing this challenge knowing that it has an end and it's a short and we're not doing like a thirty day gratitude challenge just two weeks or maybe even one week. It causes you, like, I know, at the end of the day, I'm going to have to write down what I'm thankful for, like
what good things happen to me today. It makes you away during the day because you're paying attention so that you can write it down, either when it happens or at night. When we don't look for things, we don't find them. When we look for things, we find them. So the things that are going to happen to you are going to happen to you, regardless of whether you're looking for them or not. It's training our mind or
resetting our mind simply to focus on the good. It's because it's so much easier to focus on the negative. We know that, and we forget to focus on the good stuff. So when you feel like you are in a slump, and this can be in anything, but especially with when you have to say no to spending money on something or you're just feel really apathetic about paying off your debt, try this for two weeks and see how transformative it is for your feeling of contentment.
Yeah, and I think we can know when we're approaching complacency by certainly how it feels inside of us and what we see showing up in our lives. I think that complacency, knowing when this is creeping in, it will probably feel like stagnation, maybe feelings of being stuck, or that I don't know if I can care about this anymore. I don't know if I can actually shift the needle
on this thing anymore. Like that debt pay off example that you gave, Jen, I think it's at those points which we're going to have to keep a pulse on this. We have to be doing regular check ins with ourselves as well to even know if we're hitting a place of complacency on any given aspect of our lives. And it's okay to reach that point, but then what we're going to do about it?
Then?
What what are we going to do about it? I do also think that we need to keep a pulse on when we are hustling too much as well. I think this can be a place a lot of us find ourselves, is if I just do this extra, extra, extra thing and it's backbreaking to us. And I think we can know when that's happening by feelings of overwhelmed, feelings of not being enough, feelings of just sheer exhaustion maybe, And that's when we can also be saying, how can
I pull in the reins here? I do think that that gratitude journaling is going to help in both directions, because what it also does is creates a mindfulness about our space, our current season, how we are moving through life, which can give us a clearer focus and aim on what's actually worth my time and energy right now and
reevaluate and come to a new place of reset. Okay, yes, I do want to keep moving forward with this thing that I have set out to do because I am reattached to my why again and so just taking this pulse and gratitude thankfulness, checking in with yourself is going to be what helps to move the needle on that. But at the same time, will achieving the next financial goal make you content? Now spoiler alert, Now it doesn't
like keep we keep reaching different goals. And I know you said, Jen, you have a really hard time celebrating. You're just kind of like onto the next thing, which I think a lot of us can commiserate with. And there is this concept of the hedonic adaptation that states once we achieve something, we return to a relative state of happiness or whatever baseline homeostasis we were at before that we're kind of now this is the new level.
I think this is lifestyle creep has to do with this that oh, if I just get that promotion, that new job, if I'm just in this other house, and yet the reality is, yeah, that's great. We're not saying again, don't be complacent if you want to take hold of the next thing. That's how we know we're alive because we're moving forward and we're doing new things. But we
will adjust. Then you get that higher paying job, you get that raise, and now your expenses can start to increase, and now you just need more and more and more. It doesn't have to be that way, but untethered and unchecked. That's the direction it can go. And so understanding that any one of these goals or accomplishments isn't going to be the end all be all in and of itself, it's worth aiming at, but that is not what's going to lead to ultimate contentment. It is going to be
those things that money can't buy. And I think that this happens when we've learned how to master our spending and achieving your financial goals, knowing that it's not going to make you happier or satisfied, but it will lead to greater levels of contentment when we feel like we're the ones truly in control making the informed, insightful decisions about our money.
Yeah, we talked about it earlier, but the four fs, Faith in whatever you have, family, friends, your chosen family, and then fulfilling work, the things that where you feel like you're contributing to this world in some way you are in whatever way you feel good about. It doesn't always have to be in a nonprofit or in some
kind of like way. That's I don't know. It doesn't always have to be giving money places and volunteering at soup kitchens, right, It can be anything that makes you feel like you're making an impact in your community, you're leaving the plate, the world a better place than you found it. Like, these are the things that we are really aiming at, and these are the reasons that we choose values based spending. These are the these are the things that are going to bring us joy in values
based spending. Like I can say no to this thing that I have realized now that I don't care about as much because I have found these things that I care so much more about and I just didn't get to uncover them until I took time to stop just running on the hamster wheel. So that's really we want contentment to inspire you to pursue these things more, to pursue stronger relationships with the people in your life, to pursue more impact in your community, more impact in your
child's lives, in their friends' lives. So all of these things are beautiful things to pursue. And there are things that can be realized very immediately. Sometimes we define this why and you know, why are you paying off debt? Why are you saving for early retirement? And there are things that are so far off into the future, but impact like based these four fs are very very near to you. You can have an impact, and you can build strong relationships, and you can grow stronger in faith.
You can do all of these very immediately. And so these are the things that we replace with the instant gratification of a quick like what a quick purchase at Target can get you. It is probably the most even replacement. So when you feel like you are bored and you want to go shopping somewhere, instead of you know, jumping straight to oh, I should probably just like gratitude journal because that's I know, that's what you really want to do. False,
that's what I've never wanted to do. Instead, look at these things that are the things you want that money can't buy, and start to think of ways start now making less of like how can I get more of these? How can I build these things that I truly want. We've talked about Massow's hierarchy of needs quite a bit, and at the top, at the bottom, it's all your core needs, right your shelter, your food, your safety, your sense of safety. At the top, though, it is all
the self actualization and the respect and the connection. Look at ways that you can get more of that because that's what you really want, and that's what these for fs. They bring you those things that you really want that money can't buy. So when you're thinking why am I, you know, why am I feeling apathetic? And may be because you're pursuing things that are not the things at the top of your hierarchy of needs, the things that you want most.
So well said, I think too, it's worth stating that in the midst of this, we can also combat the fear that increasing our lifestyle will lead to a destruct to spiral. I think again, that's the pushing back against a certain type of complacency of well, I need to just stay here at this level of income or this type of location, because if I do anything different, then
that's going to mean I'm not being content. And I think, yeah, we can push back on that too, to say we can we can aim for something as long as it's informed, as long as we know this is what we want. We've done that deeper work, we've done the gratitude journaling, we've dug into the four FS, and we don't have to fear that, oh, I am not going to be able to be in control of myself anymore if I get this next thing, everything's just going to spiral out
of control. That's not true either. No matter what we achieve next, it won't be our ultimate happiness, but it also won't be our ultimate destruction. So we can keep going and be in formed as we're going and certain
that this is what I want to do. And I am aimed at contentment along the way, at each and every point when I don't have the job, when I do have the job, when a meal plan and excellently, when I'm not, when I'm crushing debt, and when I need to slow down because of my season, all of these things, no matter what the season is, we can find contentment. And as we aim at new and different and maybe increased goals within our finances and personal lives,
we can also find contentment. And do you know what leads to my greatest contentment?
I am content to say, yeah it is. It does bring me true joy. It is an instant gratification, and it's something that I don't ever have to uh pursue. It always just comes the bill of the week.
That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is Williams.
Maybe you paid off your mortgage.
Maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Best Bill Buffalo Bills, Bill Clon, This is the bill of the week.
Hi, Jenna Jel. This is Haley from Sugarland, Texas. I recently discovered your podcast and I've really been enjoying going back through the old episodes and finding on some content that's helpful. My bill of the week is my student loan bill. So when my husband and I got married five years ago, right after I graduated from college, I had about sixty thousand dollars in student debt, and in our first free years of marriage, we took on too
carlans as well. When the payment pause happened during the pandemic, we really prioritize paying down our debt highest interest first, and on the very last day of the interest pause, we paid off my last student loan. And now in five years of marriage, we've paid off somewhere in the neighborhood of eighty thousand dollars of debt and the only debt we're caring now is our mortgage. Thanks again for all your advice and awesome content.
Whoo whoo oh wow. I'm doing the sounds early congratulations, Pailey. We are going to give you all the energy that you need from us because you didn't sound like you were acknowledging your success enough, so we're going to do it for you. Here we are.
We're celebrating these accomplishments because my goodness, are you aiming at some things? Five years eighty thousand dollars? Oh wow, that took some grit. I know that had to take some powering through complacency, lack of motivation, sacrifice, feeling like you're missing out. But man, am I feeling on top of the world with you right now? How incredible? Well, Don Hayley, thank you so much for sharing that with us.
Here's the thing. If you are listening to this right now and you've paid off any amount of debt, I don't care how long ago it was, and you've kept it off and you've kept it paid off, I need you to acknowledge your success in that and call in
and leave that as your bill for the week. I need you to just head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill tell us how much you paid off and what it was, how long it took you, and if it was a long time ago, and you kept it off like tell us that too, that's an accomplishment. We forget what we are cape be love when we do not reflect on the things that we have done, and that stagnates us, that limits us from accomplishing more
in the future. So it's time for you to take the time to call in too, Frugal friendspodcast dot com, slash bill and leave us your bill and acknowledge your successes so that you are motivated and inspired to have more of them.
That's how we practice contentment. That's how we practice gratitude. That's how we practice giving back to the fellow Frugal Friends community to encourage each other and celebrate your own accomplishments. Do it, leave us your bill. We're ready for it. And now it's time for.
All right for the vulnerability around today. What experiences or values do you can consider priceless and truly believe money can't buy?
Jill, I think money can't buy I'm going to be the student who sits at the front of the class right now. Money can't buy contentment. But truly, for myself, I think this is peace and enjoyment. I have yet to find something that I when I just spend money, am I finding peace and enjoyment in life? Money intersects with it. But what I've learned gives me This is time with close friends and family, and time outside digging
in the dirt. These things are so life giving and precious to me, and it is what cultiv It's an enjoyment of life for me. Of course, it takes money to be able to have some flexibility to spend the time that I do with other people and time in the garden. And certainly sometimes I spend money on my plants. I mean, what else, what else are you going to do? There are a core value of mine. So yeah, and
money intersects with it. But I think that that enjoyment, that contentment, that piece, that's something that like, if you were to just be like, just buy it, I couldn't like. It takes these other things that can't be bought and but yet are so important to my personal and internal well being. What about for you, jen.
H? So I'll give a recent example. Last night we went to a friend's Christmas party because we're recording this in December, and we brought our kids and and Atlas, my eight month old, fell asleep on my chest and it was a really like that does not happen often, and so like I just kind of stopped socializing and
like sat down and kind of embraced it. I think I'm trying to be present in this season of having young children, because like when we got home from the party, Kai, my four year old, screamed the whole way home that he didn't want to leave, he wanted to go back, and then would not let us put his pajamas on him to go to bed, and he was just like writhing and did not he just was up to way.
So like, it's stuff like that that is the worst that I dwell on that I think about, and so I'm actively trying to dwell on good things like a baby be sleeping on your chest, or literally twenty minutes later when Kai was hugging me and sale, I love you, mommy, you know, stuff like that. So I think that's where I am right now, because I'm not like a mom's mom. I'm like not mom all the time, world's okayest mom. I'm I'm like below that. So I'm an adequate mom
and it's not my life's passion. So I have to actively seek to be present and to enjoy those things. But I mean there's there's also a sense of like, I get to do my fulfilling work, is my professional work. I'm super blessed to be able to say that. It is not like highly profitable like some other places. The money. There's not a ton of money in telling people to
spend less, so go figure. I have to be like it's sometimes I am a little bitter when I talk to other people who are in the space and they're crushing it, you know, building businesses, making a lot of money and doing good things. But I have to actively remind myself that I'm I get to do what I love, and I get to talk about what I love, and I do actually make a livable wage from doing it. I I forget that when I'm focused on what other people have and what seems to come so easily to them.
Yeah, because the flip side of that is someone else is guaranteed looking at you thinking, oh man, she's got this, she's got that. And that's just the proof of why the comparison game just isn't fruitful in any stretch and truly like what you are practicing of Yep, there's all these things and I can acknowledge them that I don't love about this current season, but there's just as many, if not more things I can acknowledge and choose to focus on that are really beautiful about this stage and
this season that I'm in. And you're more than an okay mom, Jen, you just you just do it differently than what is And I don't even want to say like then most then how motherhood has been portrayed to us, or how some in a certain circle might be acting out motherhood. But the reality to it is there's just as many styles of mothering as there are mothers.
Like this, and you're all going to do.
It in the way that you're going to do it and the motherly instinct that you're going to follow that's right for your children.
Yeah, and I'm the type of mother. You've had a lot of goldfish and Gerber puffs on my floor.
Right now, and that's beautiful. And you know what, they're going to stay there because we don't believe in food waste. Somebody or something will eat I.
Don't believe in food waste. My children don't have the same beliefs.
Thanks everyone for listening. We do hope that this has helped to inspire some pondering about contentment how to aim at it in your life. We also love reading your very kind reviews. This is something we love to celebrate and feel grateful for, and this is how we're saying thanks by reading one recent review from Elena S. Who said, so inspiring. These girls help me feel normal and motivated well on a debt free journey. Keep up these episodes, ladies,
can't wait to hear more of your tips. I'm so thrilled to be here to keep up motivation, help to inspire people in what can be for a lot of us a really long and arduous journey, especially the debt free journey. There's certainly a lot of sacrifice that comes in that particular season. I can commiserate. It took me seven years to pay off sixty thousand dollars, which is a very long time. It's indicative of how low my salary was at the time. And so I'm here for
all of you. You're in your debt pay off journey, We're here for you. Yes, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed the show, please take a minute to leave a rating or review on Spotify or Apple. It helps potential new listeners know what the show is all about. If there was a particular episode like this one that really spoke to you, call it out in the review. Let people know what episodes are your favorites, so they know which wants to tune into first.
Yeah, that's good, See you next time. Google Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. So where oh it's no spend January, Yes it is. Okay, we all wear that we're not recording this in January. But I have a no spend tip or no spend story that I will be using in January.
Cool cool, cool cool.
So my kid Kai needs booster se and I didn't. I bought new car seats infant and regular, but I was like, booster seat, I can get that used. So I've been looking and I was like, maybe I could get it for free. So what I did was that I posted a rug that I no longer need that I was just going to get rid of for free. I posted that on Facebook Marketplace for forty bucks and waited, and somebody finally, you know, paid me thirty dollars for
the rug. And so then I turned around and I went to the booster seat section on Facebook marketplace, and I found a lady who had three brand new booster seats that she was selling for twenty dollars each, and I said, hey, would you accept thirty thirty dollars for two of those seats and she said yes. So I basically got two booster seats for free because I was just going to put that old rug like a curpoler and they're brand new.
And you need to for eventually when Atlas.
Needs one, No, I need one for my mom's car. Well I was only gonna get one, but I got two because we already have one, so we'll have then Atlas will use the car seat that's in my mom's car, and then each car will have a.
Booster perfect well done. I love that no spend January doesn't mean no.
Spend, no buyo. I mean no by faults. It doesn't mean that.
Just like if you can make it a wash, that's creative, that's solving problemsoh ooh, I.
Like yeah, So, I mean what it was is just like I just had to wait for a little bit. I had to think in advance, like, Okay, we are gonna need booster seats in the next month, so what's one thing I can sell to that you know, might make some money. And that was that.
Rug I like, I like it.
I also posted a weight bench, so I posted two things that I was like, whatever one sells, that's what I'll use. The weight bench has not sold.
A little bit of patience, No, oh that keep that weight bench because it's January. January is around the corner for us right now. Everyone's gonna be like, yeah, I'm doing it, I'm exercising.
But I mean, if you want to exercise, Facebook Marketplace is a great place to get a weight bene in Yep.