How to Align Your Spending With Your Values

those foundational episodes. You know, we're doing it in episode two seventy four, but we talk a lot about values based spending and this is going to be one of those kind of core episodes for how do I actually how do I do this? How do I how do I identify my values? How do I put them into practice? How do I make sure that my spending is aligned with that keep working towards it? So, oh, this is the bread and butter right here, because you know me, I can live off of bread and butter. She can,

she can? And smoothies and wine and wine. Who is this episode brought to us by Jill the Club Meet me in the club. It's going down the Frugal Friends Club. That is to celebrate the new year, New you hype, we are offering us sale on Frugal Friends Club. We know motivation is high in January, super super through the roof, and it falls off around February and March. It doesn't stay high for long in ten days, but we want

to help you stay motivated all year long. And the Frugal Friends Club is a community specifically for our listeners who are paying off debt and it is filled with courses, challenges, expert interviews that will help you pay off debt faster and figure out what to do afterwards. We certainly have people in the club who are debt free and many people who have experienced debt freedom while being in the club,

so there's also resources for what comes next. Don We also have an amazing community with monthly accountability groups and several members are even going through our book club selections, people that you can chat with the books about and just take a deeper dive. So it's so amazing, so lovely. So if this sounds like something that could help you stay on track this year, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club you can see everything in the club.

You can join the club, meet you in the club. Today is the last day for the discount, so get in fast if you want to meet us in the club on sale. Got coops Baby, Got coops for club coops coops for days, actually just one day. This is last for this day. So if you are wanting to focus on your spending this year, we just wrapped up our one week spending makeover that we did live and we will be repurposing it into a not live version with the same video, So don't worry if you missed it.

But we know spending is something discretionary spending specifically is something a lot of people want to work with and work on this year. It's a big part of the challenges and courses in the club, and so this episode is really about the practice of aligning your spending with your values. We have a few other episodes in that we talked about it throughout all of our episodes almost but we got episode one one which is how do

I identify and improve spending habits? And then we also have episode one which goes over what is values based budgeting and how you practice it? And so this is an extension specifically on that one of values aligned spending, and really we have plans to cover like kind of values based decision making in all areas of our personal finances. So we really started with spending and budgeting, but you can make career and income aligned, values aligned decisions, investing

decisions aligned with your valuest payoff decisions. So over the course of this year, we do plan on kind of extending this idea to all other areas of your personal finances. And this is just a start. So if you've ever wondered if we're going to run out of content, the answer is nope, nope. When we keep going, are we never going to run out of topics? Nope? Here I got six months from I got I keep a six month list of episodes planned in advance. So this this

brain never stops working. Even for sure, I do wake up with episode ideas sometimes if I have a dream about like not a prophetic dream, but just like I did something wrong in my dream and I'm like, oh, that would make a great episode. I'd love to know which episodes those are. We'll circle back around. That's some thoughts episodes. Yeah, alright, so our first headline, well, Jill, you really enjoyed this one, so I'll let you introduce it. It comes from we Wicky How Wicky How is such

an interesting website. Every time I land on it, it's so specific, Like I don't even need to look at the U R L. I just know I'm on wicki How. But I generally really enjoy what they put out, mostly because a lot of well Wicki How. It's like they give you step by step how to and usually they're really good. Anyhow. This one is also also want to walk you through all the graphics in this one, because they're they're great, They're always great. How. Yeah. Okay, so

this one is how to define your personal values? And so we get this question a lot. We've talked about this a lot of Okay, how do I first identify my values? If I'm going to values based, spend values based, plan, fill in the blanks on all the content that's going to come at you. And there isn't like a set do this, do this, do that, Boom, there's your values. There are a lot of different things that can be done, though, and I feel like this article gives a really good

kind of overview. They try and make it step by step, although mostly it's just kind of like try this, try that eventually you'll come across it, which yeah, I agree with. So let's they give six things, and then there's and it's some addendums. This is like part one that goes into part two, part three. It's a really long article. Feel free to check it out. I do want to reference part two and three towards the end, but I won't spend long on it. But we're going to go

through the first six. So kick us off, all right. So the first part is discovering your values, obviously, and so number one they say to list the things that are most important to you in life. And I will add this that is not in that we say, that's not in this article, but because we are a personal finance podcast. If you're having trouble figuring out what's most important to you in life, go through your last ninety days of transactions and list every one of them out.

If you need to copy and paste them into an Excel doc, you can do it by hand, whatever, every single transaction, even your rent or mortgage, and make a note about every single one of them. Why did you make it, how did you feel when you were making it, what kind of preceded the event. If you're familiar with the habit loop, maybe writing the trigger for for why you spent that uh and or how you feel about

it now. So just like a really short note about every single transaction, and you will start to see a pattern, whether it's a pattern of the same purchases or a pattern of the same note. And those are that that's going to tell you a lot about what's most important

to you in life. This graphic, this work of art right here her she has written down her cat an art palette, a happy ace, and what looks to be her family, and and those are the things that she has spent the most money on over the last ninety days. Emois happiness, finding happiness, I guess yeah. And one of the things we also say as the Frugal Friends is for most people, for most of us are values. Some core values a is going to be faith, family, friends,

and fulfilling work. So feel free to write those things down. But those aren't necessarily pieces that are going to help us understand our specific individualism further. And now they are still things that are you know, worth focusing on, worth

spending money on, time, energy, attention. But this exercise as far as we're concerned, is a little bit more important to keep whittling it down to what's unique to your personhood and the specific values that might set you apart from other people, and how that can also help to inform some of your spending decisions and the way you spend and utilize your resources. Yes, like, for an example, this uh This lady, this uh Art lady, family is

clearly one of her values. So she I imagine that she is spending money on activities with her children quite frequently, and that her note might be, Oh, this my family, it's my core value. But it always runs deeper than that. So don't stop at like I made this because family is important to me, or faith or friends or fulfilling work. Those are your interactions with external people, external things. Think about why am I buying my children so many toys?

Why am I spending so much money on extracurriculars for them? What does it say about me? And that's not negative, We're not trying to like, there's no shame in these reasons. The thing is to figure out what the value is. That's the goal. So all like, when you're trying to figure out your values, keep it focused on you and how you interact with people, not that other people or other things are your core value. I'm over here really

trying to hold back some gigs. I'm realizing I didn't actually pay that much attention to the images as I read through the article the first time, and it is striking two. I'm gonna try my best to describe this, but yeah, you all are going to need to just go to this article yourselves. So number two is identify three to five experiences where you truly felt alive and engaged.

So they're talking about moments experiences when you you felt alive, you felt like most yourself, Exercising aspects of your personhood that are unique to you, that feel life giving, that you feel just yeah, fully alive would probably be the best way to describe that. What were those experiences? Okay, so that's what number two is. The picture that goes

along with number two. Again, these are like cartoons. I'm gonna it's a girl sitting in a chair with her foot up and like her leg and foot are in a cast, and this guy is giving her a cup of something, maybe coffee or tea, and his mouth is on the side of his face, like fully his mouth is like where his cheeks should be. And that's the

picture of like an example, he's contortion. She should not she her leg if she's sitting in chair, her leg should be lower that she looks like she'd be she should be sitting in a bed, but her it's in a chair like the bed fell downection is just kind of awkwardly her hand. The perspective, yes, certainly on the drawing could use some work, but also masterpiece in my opinion and experience, where you truly fell alive. And the example giving t to someone who broke their foot. Okay,

so maybe that's you. And so that is an example. They say, like, maybe you could write when I helped my friend Amy after her accident. Yes, and and this is super like I think looking back, especially moments in childhood. I think if there are moments in your childhood where you felt most like yourself, I've think those are the

purest moments to remember. So for me, it's always there's this one moment when I was in fourth grade and I wrote this thing like this assignment and my teacher read it and she's like, Jen, I want you to take this to every teacher in the pod and let them read it and I just felt so proud, like and that is a maybe other people would feel like an insignificant moment, But I have kept with me through adulthood. So it's like things where other people are like, why

do you remember that? But you so vividly keep it with you. Those are them things to dissect and see what value was being honored in that event. It is true, and so yeah, to be fair, I think for some people, helping others can be part of that, like it it awakens something being useful and purposeful for another human or creature can be a part of those things. And so that certainly could highlight what most important to you, the things that you enjoy engaging in, what your values are.

So yes, it's certainly an important exercise, and this very well could be. At that time, I helped Amy after her accident, and I brought her coffee and my mouth was on the side of my face. I felt alive, all right. Number three is imagine what you want people to say about you on your eightieth birthday. This one can get a little dicey because I think we tend to view some values as superior to others. When values are all neutral, there are there's no value that is

of a higher caliber than another. They can all be used for good or for evil. Essentially, they can all all be used to, you know, be altruistic or to be selfish. But they do say, imagine, you know, this is a picture of a man at his eightieth birthday with chips and guacamole, and I don't know why you put the guacamole on. The chips are going to get soggy, and there's champagne and everyone is happy. And so when you are this man, what do you want people to

say about you at your eightieth birthday party? And also I also asked that it gets vivid. Who's at my party? What do people love about me? How have I impacted people's lives? What have I accomplished in life? So this is a good exercise. But remember that not all the values you think you should have do you have in reality, And that's okay. Be really honest with yourself about what you truly value and not what you think you should value. And also recognize some of these things will be unseen.

Depending on what our values are, the decisions that we make in life, people might not see them to even know to comment or reflect on them by the time you get eighty. But all that to say, it is a worthwhile exercise that can kind of really pull us up out of the current space that we're in and bring greater levels of perspective on what could feel like day to day life drudgery and bring clarity on Okay, am I engaging and spending time, energy and resources in a way that I want to be? Or is this

an opportunity to explore shifts? And it doesn't need to mean massive shifts, doesn't mean you need to find a new career or like make every altruistic decision ever possible. But are there things that I would say are important to me? But really kind of right now life isn't being lived in that way? Like? Okay, well, then at what point would I would I begin living life in that way? A So I think then it's not realistic to always live life with like your eightieth birthday in sight.

But I think a good exercise to realize and compound, all right, what is actually most important to me? All right? Number four? Oh God, my favorite image by far. I can't wait for us to get to the image. Okay, so this one number four? Think about what you admire in other people to discover your values. So this could be identifying two or three people who you look up to, you admire for various reasons, could be friends, family members, leaders,

possibly even celebrities, maybe fictional characters. Figure out what you admire about them, their accomplishments, their talents, and and then decide what values they might reflect from your perspective, like, what about them is attractive to you? What about them causes admiration for you? And how might that be indicative of the things that you value, that you hold near and dear, that you want to see be operated within

in your own life. And so to really clearly depict this number four of thinking about people you admire, is an image of a young man. He's wearing, Oh, he's wearing both a T shirt followed by what looks like a button down T shirt, like two layers. It's T shirts once, it's like a it's like a cardigan, but a short sece, short sleeve cardigan T shirt over the top of a T shirt, reading a book, possibly falling asleep.

I don't His eyes are what appears to be closed, and the book on the front cover has an image of Jesus that's John Lennon the shirt. But okay, okay, if we fit, we know it's John Lennon because there was a guitar on the back. We don't know. It just could be like, okay, it's about Jesus and it's about music. Alternative view, alternative view. This man is wearing a short sleeve prison jumpsuit and reading a book about

Charles Manson. Do you see it right? Because that's what I saw first, and then I was like, oh, that's not Charles Manson, that's for sure John Lennon or Jesus or Jesus. Now I see Jesus right wearing glasses. I think that's why I didn't see Jesus before, because he's wearing glasses. This person, whether he's in prison or at home on his couch, is thinking about the person he admires, whether it's Charles Manson, John Legend, John Lennon, or Jesus.

He's learning more about them to then learn more about himself. And we can all take a page out of that book. Oh wow, Yeah, that one was my favorite for sure. Number five is to list things you really want in life, and so I would say this is less about finding your values and more about defining goals, and your goals should really be filtered through your values. So they're saying

very specific instructions. Fold a piece of paper in half, and on the left side, right down your answers to these questions they're giving you on the right side, right down what each entry on your list might show about your values. So that's kind of like a goals exercise. And they say your list will probably be really long, but that's a good thing because it gives you more

ways to learn about yourself. So some of the questions are, what do you want to accomplish, what do you want to be in your life or your career, What things do you hope to have um or experience, how do you want to spend your time? And this is just a great exercise, honestly, once you find your values, to go through an exercise like this to make sure the path that you're on in life is actually leading to more of your values and not just arbitrary goals and

purposes that other people say you should have. Yeah, okay, last on this list, number six, which I do love this one. We've utilized this in our club use of values inventory lists to decide what's important to you. This is not going to be the only exercise to do, but it can be a really illuminating exercise to look at a list. Sometimes we can kind of get stuck and I don't what are even the options of values that I could have? And so by looking at a list that can help us to not only jog our

memory or brainstorming on Okay, well what's out there? What are the options to realize what might exist for other people, what exists for us, and really recognize, oh yeah, like there are some uniquenesses about me, Like this is not important to me at all, but this one is. And so even just going through a list of values and circling what what kind of stands out to you, like, yeah, that sounds like one that is true for me. Yep,

this one too. And there's gonna be a more refining process, certainly because we're not just talking about like our fantasized selves. You know, there's a lot of things that sound nice that we might not have. I know you've mentioned that already, Jen, of all of these different things that sound good and we might think are important but might not actually be definers of the core of who we are. Usually we're

going to have a handful. You know, we can identify three to five core values beyond the faith, family, friends, and fulfilling work that truly kind of define who we are, and we can build systems and decisions and finances around not just all the things that like sound nice to us and maybe sometimes we engage in. They do give a link to in like an inventory list that you could utilize, and so, yeah, you could get the link from this article, but you could also just google list

of values. There's tons of different lists that you could take a look at see which one feels most relevant and beneficial to you. Uh, not much to say about the image here, it's just a drawn computer of an inventory list. So yeah, I mean, I've got to give credit to the person who's deciding the imagery. It can't be an easy job, and kudos to them. So and then the last one is to rank the core values

that you've identified. This is very important when we get into spending because your income is infinite and the amount of money you have right now is finite, So not everything on your values list are you going to be able to afford at one time. Possibly eventually you could get to the place where your income is covering all

of your values, and that's great, that's the goal. But while we're on the path to getting there, you have to prioritize your values so you know which ones and in what magnitude they get priority in your spending plan, and that will motivate you to work harder to achieve financial freedom and increase your income so that you can get more of your values and get more of these things that money can't buy. Yeah, and then, like I mentioned, the article continues to go on into parts two and three,

where then they talk about assessing your value alignment. I do think that this is worth taking a look at. We're not going to do a super deep dive on this, but once we've identified our values, it's then worth looking at, well, how aligned is my lifestyle with what I say I value. And for many of us, there's not complete alignment, and sometimes we go in and out of alignment. That's okay, but looking at this can help us then informed decisions on well, how can I make this more congruent to

what I say is important to me and valuable. So one of the exercises that we can do is to go back through that list of values that we've now made after completing those other parts that we just described and rating on a scale of one to ten, how you feel and think your life is aligned with each value that you've mentioned. That there is certainly an arbitrary

nature to this. There's gonna not going to be a black and white answer, but as best as you can determine, as you look at some of the values you've identified, how well do you feel the ins and outs of your daily life are aligned congruent in step with those values, And that can kind of give some understanding of Okay, well, then what would I want to do to shift that?

If there's like low alignment? You can then do this for your career, going through those same values and looking at again on a scale of one to ten, how congruent do I feel the job that I'm in is

aligned with these values? Because sometimes, like if we're feeling really unsettled inside of ourselves, it can have to do with how congruent our lifestyle is, our career is, with what is truly important to us, And not saying that a quick shift is going to be available or an option for everybody, but beginning to recognize, oh, this might be why I'm feeling so unsettled or disregulated, uncomfortable is because I'm maybe doing things in my personal or professional

life that are actually not congruent with what's most important to me. And then that can also inform what next steps could be, how could I bring that into that alignment. And then the third thing could be to look for

values that you aren't currently expressing in your life. Like I've recognized for myself that there are some areas that are important to me and we'll get into that a little bit later in the episode, but where maybe, oh, it's super important to be building relationships, and yet I'm finding myself going so head on with renovations that I'm not spending a lot of time with people. So that's a value that is going to the wayside, and that

might be important for a time. It's okay to prioritize some of these things, but then keeping a pulse on, but that's still an important part of me that how can I create space used to exercise this aspect of my personhood and not completely shut it out because that's not going to do me any favors either. Yeah, great, great additions, Jill, Thank you, Thank you, Wicky, how thank you Wicky How for real, the real hero of this episode.

So our next article does not have graphics that are as fun as Wicki How, but it does cover three ways to avoid mindless spending so you can start buying things that actually matter to you. That's a very long headline from C N B C. What did you think

of this one, Jill? I think it's so congruent with what we talk about that there's even a quote in here that I want to highlight because I think it summarizes what we say, or what we're trying to say when it comes to values based spending, and that is improving your finances doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop buying non necessities altogether. You just have to make sure you're avoiding frivolous mindless spending so you have room to

make purchases you genuinely love and care about. I just thought it was such a simple, succinct way of definance what we're saying in values based spending. It is not complete deprivation and saying no across the board. It's getting rid of those other pieces so that there's room for the things that we truly value. So I love that. I think it's a great overview of what we're saying here. Absolutely, so we are going to go over all three of these um and the first one is obviously, have an

idea of what your values are. Like we said at the top of the episode, this is not like a science. This is not a three step process that you can sit down and in an hour have your core values like solidified. I don't think anything is that though, Like I don't think budgeting is that. I don't think financial

planning is that, and values are the same. You can take the steps that we laid out in the first article, do them, and then continue to keep them in mind because you'll always learn more about yourself as you go through life and make decisions, have experiences, and you'll always be refining your values. But you have to do that hour long plus sit down first so that you can get an idea of what your values are. And it's

not just core values. That's why we start with doing like a ninety day inventory of spending, because some of this is just like I like buying lattes and I love and and part of it is just the feeling of pause, the feeling of rest when I can take that time and have a warm cup in my hand and just take a take a walk around hard it or to take a talk that was somewhere on me. Yeah, So, like, there are always going to be deeper reasons to why you are spending, and but we don't have to automatically

recognize those reasons right off the bat. We just need to start to identify them so that when we do, like do have those epiphanies, we can recognize them for what they are and not just like brush them off. Yeah. The second of three tips and steps here is to track your spending. And another way of saying this is

keeping a pulse on your spending plan. So once you kind of have a budget or a spending plan and they're one and the same whatever you want to call them, and you have an understanding of your values, the only way that you're going to be able to recognize whether you're spending is continuing to be aligned with your values is if you're keeping a pulse on it, if there's a level of awareness to it, and that can happen.

You can read that pulse by looking at your transactions and you're spending and continuing to assess and ask yourself, is my spending still in line with what I've said I wanted to spend on. Does it feel congruent with my values? Is this true to the exact way that honors my values? Or are there maybe even some tweaks that can be made here that would be even more congruent, more fully aligned with the things that I say I value? Uh? And so it doesn't have to be the super rigid,

stringent thing just keeping a pulse. Is this still true? And that gives space for some course corrections, adjustments, cutting, shifting, adding, we love that word, adding things in and keeping track of it. It just makes it easier to notice if you're still spending money on the areas that are or aren't meaningful for you, and then informing whether or not some of those reductions, cuts or additions need to be

made to that spending plan. Yeah. I think this is where our episode on Cakebo Cokebo whatever really shines is because that method of budgeting really emphasizes tracking your spending in real time and being mindful about it. So if you are not currently doing that, that is definitely something Episode to thirty seven the Japanese Art of Mindful budgeting that whole like method, and there are questions associated with it too, that you can just be more mindful about

your spending. And I think that is once you take that inventory of your past spending. This is how we learn more about those notes we took on those past transactions. Is by making them in real time, we get better notes, we learn more and we can yeah, adjust as desired. Yeah. And then the third one, probably my favorite, is allow yourself to be flexible. I have found that flexibility is

one of my core values. I thought it was so, and this is telling like part of me was like freedom is a core value and in that realm, and then I really realized that it is. Flexibility is some is super important to me. It's what led me to entrepreneurship. And when my when my self employment became inflexible is when I became most unhappy with it. And whenever I

prioritize this flexibility like this, I have a plan. I love to plan, but I plan for flexibility like that is when I feel the most kind of like fulfilled. I'm doing fulfilling work, but I feel most fulfilled when that work also um serves me as well. And so that's kind of that part in fulfilling work is not the core value. The core value interacts with how how I am fulfilled in that work. And I could be doing any work like in any realm. It doesn't have

to be like altruistic work. But if it is flexible for me and obviously have to like enjoy it to some extent, then it is fulfilling in that sense. So I like, you're not always going to be doing like the work you're most passionate about, and that's fine, Like we all we all need insurance agesters, and I've never heard anybody say that's what they want to be when they grow up, but you are. You can still meet

your core values in doing work like that. So and it comes down to your with your budget as well and managing your spending. You've got to be flexible with It's It's why I love calling it a spending plan instead of a budget. Budgets just sounds rigid. It's what businesses used to plan. They're spending um. But people are not businesses. UM. We are not corporations. We are fluid, and so are spending plans should be as fluid as

we are. It's interesting that your values also inform even how you approach these pieces like flexibility might be some of what informs how like you're spending, but it's also informing how you spend, like it's important that you're spending plan is flexible, Like the values aren't just going to inform where should the money go, It's also going to inform how do I spend my time? How do I

structure this? How do I do this in a way, Like I'm realizing as I'm hearing you talk with beauty being one of my core valutor, one of my values that I don't mind spending on, it's also how I budget, Like my budget looks pretty to me. So yeah, it's that's interesting. That's a whole other thing to ponder and consider. But you want to know what else is super fluid? Super flexible, rejects rigidity at all costs, and yet we consistently do how so consistent and fulfilling. The bill of

the week. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill and more to build bill bill, this is the bill of the week. I do occasional side jobs through a nanny agency, and they offered a cost in January to learn about night nanning and sleep

training infants. It costs fifty dollars, but I had already put what little disposable income I had that month towards extra student loan payments, as I did every month. I nervously decided it was worth it to put fifty dollars on the credit card and just pay less on debt the next month. Several months later, I got my first night nanny sleep training job for twelve hours a night,

seven days a week at the night nanny rate. The job lasted longer than expected, so for three solid months I had two full time incomes, with the night nanning job being twice my regular pay on my office job. With the additional income, I was able to pay down at least fifteen grand of student loan debt, and when my laptop died that summer, I bought a higher quality laptop that costs a lot more than I would normally pay, but I knew it would last longer and save me

time and money in the long run. I made that purchase without stressing about the money or calculating how many hours I would need a babysit in order to pay for it. And when I had major tooth paying without dental insurance, I needed three thousand dollars for a root canal. I was able to pay it in three installments without stressing.

Since then, I've taken a few other nin ninny jobs, much shorter jobs, but still it's been nice to take care of adorable babies and help exhaustive parents while earning additional income from my student loans. It is safe to say that that was the best fifty dollars I've ever spent. I earned four hundred times what I paid. I am shook, shook, shocked, shaken, especially as someone who's about to give birth again and knows the terror of the first few months. I am

absolutely shook. I had no idea this side hustle existed. I had. I am absolutely shook. Stephanie, you you are everything to me right now. I just I like, I'm so impressed, yeah, and listening to this bill, like both of us are wide mouthed over here, because what what a side hustle? What wise way of spending time energy resource? I mean that had to be exhausting. You're not getting much sleep at night and still maintaining a full time job.

But you really found a way to leverage the time that you had in the evening to make you said double what your daytime. I mean that that just has my mind going, like should I be night nanny? I

love my sleep too much? Okay? Yeah? And then the ways in which okay, so yes, you invested fifty dollars into a course, but and how you described making four hundred times that amount the ability to pay off dollars student loan debt, pay down some medical dental bills that you had just like so much that this allowed you to do with the time that you have in the evening, like you said, caring for cute babies and helping exhausted parents.

I'm just I'm I am really in love with this bill because it also feels like the biggest I don't know, like tip, not that everybody can do this, but you've just really been created a creative problem solver and seen big strides in your debt payoffs. It's fantastic. And I mean, and we say this debt is neutral. Debt is what you make of it. And this is a full testament of how you used a reasonable amount of debt fifty dollars for the direct purpose of increase in your income.

Like you knew full well how you were going to pay that back. You had the plan and you executed and this is why debt is neutral. And we are so proud of you, Stephanie. You have blown our minds for the day. I'm done. We can move on. If you've got something out there that it could be a shook shock shaken situation scenario where you're making money while other people sleep and paying down debt and Russian medical bills.

I mean you you know the drill or if you know, you just know someone named Bill, like the bar is pretty low, although people take it really high. And we're here for the whole spectrum. Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash Bill, leave us your bill, We're our minds can be blown multiple times and now it's time for round round. Oh boy, um, how do we move on from that? Gosh? I don't know, it's just really amazing. I want to meet that person. Yes, okay, so are lightning round? Is?

What are your spending values and how did you find them? And you guys already know one of mine. Flexibility also achievement and community. So achievement in that I love to complete things, so it could alternatively maybe be completion, but I think I like to achieve things as I complete things. But it's not like a competitive I'm not chasing dollars. God, I wouldn't be in this I wouldn't be in this business if I was chasing dollars. I also love community.

I will drop everything. I'll drop anything anytime, anywhere if I have the opportunity to spend time with a friend. It's just in me. It's just in me. I have a proposition for you later, Okay, I can't wait. So and that comes in with the flexibility to like because I like planned FLEXI I planned flexibility so that I can create moments like that whenever. So those are my highest sales in the achievement one really came from that writing scenario when I was younger. I really felt a

great sense of achievement in doing that and completing that task. Well, and it's just it's just come more into fruition, you know, becoming a full time writer as an adult. But it wasn't really the writing part that I valued. So creating this podcast, like every little episode is a is a small achievement, which just I love and creating resources for the Frugal Friends Club, So like I love creating these little mini challenges. MANI like courses. I love creating and

and putting something out there into the world. It's very much my zone of genius, which is why, like I don't do coaching, like I don't do financial coaching, because that is not anything. It's not flexible. I don't feel like I've achieved anything. And it's like quasi community. But like you can't when you're coaching someone, You're not like being friends with them. You have to be like a coach um thing, you know, relationships. So it's like it

meets zero of my values. It is something I don't enjoy doing so but yeah, so I've just you know, I I found flexibility. And then community is just something that's always been ingrained in me. Well I think that's probably because I'm an only child. I need people. Yeah, it's awesome, and I feel like having known you for the amount of time I have, I I see all of these things in you. And that's another piece that we didn't mention, asking those around you, like what do

you see in me? What would you say I value based on how you see me spending my time, energy resources. But I think it's also worth saying that both of us, you and I Jen have zeroed in on our values more specifically, even since talking about values based spending more. I think what I first identified as my values are

not what they are now. Not that my value shifted, just I came to deeper and deeper understandings or clarifications on how to define them what they are for me that and there's probably still room it could be discovered in a year or two from now. Oh maybe that isn't quite it. It was adjacent to that. And here's what it is. So permission to like name something now begin bringing things into alignment to those values, but recognize there's flexibility and freedom and that as well to say,

oh that that might not have been quite right. Here's what I think it is. All that to say for me, the three that I've feel I've zeroed in on at this point our beauty, generosity, and community. And honestly, I think what helped me to realize this was tracking both my spending money and how I spent my time. That's not to say that I didn't see things in my spending of time and money that weren't truly a value

to me. But for the most part, you know, we could talk a big game, but where we actually invest ourselves time and money is going to be really indicative of what truly matters to us. Again, doesn't mean that it's all fully in alignment, but it was quite telling

of where does my money go? What does that actually say about the realities of what I value versus maybe what I have fantasized about myself and what I value and realizing okay, here it is, but then also giving permission to step into that in greater freedom of Oh okay, Like if if beauty is something I value, and that doesn't just mean I'm not talking like surface level beauty, although aesthetics and aesthetically pleasing things I do value, it

doesn't mean I can't like be in aesthetically displeasing places, but also that can go to like deeper levels of like beauty and in humanity, beauty in the outdoors and being in nature. Like there's a lot of things that beauty means to me, but it helps me just for example, give myself permission to save and spend on renovating my house and making it a more beautiful place for my husband and I to live in, or spending money on travel because that allows me to go see beautiful places.

And usually it means bringing people along who are just beautiful in like their character, in personhood and spending time with And that's community too. So there's there's a lot of different things that that can connect to. But I do believe that pretty much most of my transactions money transactions at this point, I could link to one of

those three things. Yeah, and I see those things in you too, Like you are one of the most generous people I know, and I think that is a quality that is a value that a lot of people aspire to. And then I have just come to know like is not one of my core tendencies. And that's okay. It does it. It doesn't mean I'm not I don't have to be generous. I'm still like called to generosity in some way, but it's just like not my natural tendency. It is your natural tendency. So it's easier for you.

And I see you are so extra in the way you get. Some of that is aspirational for me to like some of it is this I want to see this in myself, so I want to feed it. I want to nurture that in myself too, which is amazing. Give I love. I love seeing that, and yes, and I think it. It also impacts the way so you travel a lot, and a lot of people when we ask them about their core values, they say travel is a is a core value, but it it does run

so much deeper than that. It affects how you travel. So, Jill, when you travel, you are traveling for beauty and community, and so that means you're traveling with others, You're staying in more aesthetically pleasing places, and you prioritize that over certain activities, whereas somebody who prioritizes or values adventure his fine staying at a hostel so that they can afford

more activities and more activities filled like vacation. And so that's why, that's why the list that we have in our membership of core values, it was very carefully curated to make sure that it is person like self focused, which sounds mad, but um that is self focused and not like like externally focused. We want to see what are these values in ourselves so that we know how to spend our money on vacation, how to spend our money with our our friends and our family and stuff

like that. So yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Oh, thanks for being vulnerable with me, absolutely, and thank you for listening. We so appreciate you, and we hope this has helped you narrow down your values and figure out how to incorporate them or filter your spending through them. And we can't wait to share more of this concept in other areas of your personal finances as well moving on this year, So thank you for listening.

Just a reminder that the Frugal Friends Club is on sale and we are here for you in other ways, not just the podcast. So if you want to know what kind of successes are members are having, here's one of our favorite wins from last year. It's from Debbie and she says impulse spending down seventy five per cent. She says, I just went through my Amazon orders for one and compared it too. I haven't completely eradicated impulse of spending, but I have cut it by seventy five

per cent. YEA. The primary thing I've stopped doing is done, done done cruising Amazon's Today's deals for things. I quote unquote need shout out to the whole Frugal Friends club group and my accountability group, the Detonators for the support which helps me stay on track and off the internet for impulse buys. It's honestly, it's not our stuff that's helping people most, it's the community inside. It's these accountability groups. Uh, it's this larger community. So which is cool because that's

where you and I intersect. Jen. We both have a value of community, and it's so cool to see that coming out in the podcast. I mean, these other ones they play well together, but for both of us, that's a that's a strong value and it's you can see the effects of that trickling through the club the podcast. And I love the actual metric that you have on this Debbi that when I when I first read the title, I'm like down. I was like, how are you measuring that?

How could you like, oh, maybe you know it's just like an arbitrary like, yeah, I just know I cut it a lot. But you were actually able to look back on what did I spend last year on Amazon and what did I spend this year and recognize most of that spending was impulse spending, and like actually do the math on like seventy five percent cut, which I love that Also about this time of year for for anyone who's listening kind of in the new year, that this gives a really good marker to be able to

compare two and what will that mean for three. We've got this kind of whole picture of all four seasons and the way life was lived and see where progress happened, see where we might have fallen off the wagon. How that can inform next year. So so many amazing things and what you've just shared, Debbie, But ultimately, congratulations on this like very measurable improvement. Yes, uh so, thank you

for listening. If this sounds like something you want to be saying next year, then check out our membership Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club. The sale ends today, so if you're on the fence, check it out. See you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. Since you have a hard time saying no to things that involves friendship, when we get together on Friday and we record Debt Free Stories, our new YouTube series Debt

Free Stories Shameless Plug. When we record that together, we could maybe do a Sam's Club Ron because I'm canceling my Sam's Club membership for so I only have a little bit more time to use it. Yes, let us reward ourselves with dollars, Yeah, dollars, dollar pizza, dollar dogs, free samples. Oh yes, the hot dogs. Yes, the samples. I'm in um here. If we may have to pick up Kai and take him with us, which is fine. He will eat pizza, he will love it, and and

then we can pick you up some convenience foods. Do we talk about that in this episode or the previous episode? Get you some of those last episode? Yes, bulk bulk bars. That's not bars to bulk me up, but like bulk quantities of snack bars. Thank you for affirming your value of community. If I just like instantly saying yes, whether or not it's a good idea for you, I yeah, I didn't have to think, um, because I know that this is a I have my values to filter my decision.

So here we are, and because we're really friends who enjoy hanging out. Yes, that's I mean, that's why we do this. Okay, see Friday. Okay,