Frugal Self-Care

playing you Are Self Care episode. I thought it was appropriate. I don't know that we're necessarily self caring as much as we well, yeah, we're being kind to ourselves and not putting out new content. It's not because we're on vacation. It's because we're we're working, yes, and we're setting working too hard. Yeah. That's a big thing in deciding whether

you need self care is do you have boundaries? And if you do, then you can take some time to get some good, fulfilling self care, not just like a bubble bath. Sometimes bubble baths are like stressful, but that's just that's just me and bath. Anyways. Uh, let's give a shout out to our sponsors on this episode. So you know it. You know this sponsor coming at you

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bag at Frugal Living summit dot com. We'll see you there. We'll see you in the private Facebook group. We'll be talking all about all of the good future of frugal topics together. Yes, I can't wait. It starts Monday, July nine. I think that maybe maybe we haven't like said that enough, but July nine, it starts. It starts this Monday. If you're listening to this all the day it comes out. So yeah, this episode is also brought to you by the Weekend. No, not the musical artist, but the thing

everybody's working for. So we are taking this weekend to relax and re energize, and also make sure all of our tech is working for you so that when the summit starts, you have a seamless and enjoyable experience. The weekend it is that group of days that you shouldn't work, but you can work in order to make your work during the week easier. Well summarized. Yeah, that's that's about it. So I try to find and maybe this is indicative that we should do another kind of self care episode,

but no really episodes to queue up after this. Um no frugal bubble bows or frugal massage episodes, so but you will find here self care not just so that's probably why we don't have those episodes, but it is important to find frugal massages. That is something that you should do if you want them. But this is a really insightful episode. There's a reason that is one of our most downloaded episodes, and all the information is still relevant. So no disclaimers there, just get on in and enjoy.

Let's get in today's show about self care and this one is going to be a great one. I want to challenge some of our views about self care, especially on a debt free journey or for busy moms or whatever the case is, because I think we need to be a little more self centered when it comes to our self care. I heard that on the three and thirty Moms podcast recently, is that we need to be more self centered, just putting ourselves in the center of our jars so that everything else can fit inside. So

that's what we're gonna do today. Yeah, and I think it's worth So I wouldn't even want to spend it a bit more positively because that sounds that sounds negative to like we have a negative connotation about like being selfish or being self centered, or somebody will do something for themselves and then they say, oh, I know, I'm

being selfish. And and I would even challenge us to say, what if we were to talk about this as far as what is needed in order to care for others well, or where can the boundary lines fall that is pleasant for you, where you feel good about giving to other people, because I think so often we do do do, do do, and then there's this bitterness that can set in that

is not good for anybody. So approaching this if that's you, if you have a hard time looking at self care because it seems like it's a selfish thing or it's a self centered thing, and there's a negative connotation with that. Well, what if we were to look at it the other way of in order to care for other people well and to do it without bitterness, without frustration. Then these things are necessary to come first, come in the middle, come at the end where wherever you want to fit

it in. But it's necessary to be able to accomplish the things that we want to accomplish. Yes, So our first article is from psych Central and it's on what self care is and what it isn't. And this is the first result that pops up on Google when you google self care. I would have chosen it anyway, because you get a lot of articles from Bustle and Refinery twenty nine and all these like girly websites like how

does self care and stuff? But I really wanted to take time to focus on on a psychological level, what self care is so that we can identify what it is and what it isn't. So I like their definition here where they say self care is any activity that

we deliberately do. There's effort involved in order to take care of our mental emotional physical health, and so it's a simple concept in theory, but it really can get tossed to the side, and we think that we have this unlimited capacity to just do everything in front of us, only to often get wiped out or end up in bitterness and frustration. Yeah, and self care is not something that you force yourself to do or something you don't

enjoy doing. So I think for me, I think a lot of people equate self care with yoga, and I personally do not like yoga and so but for a while I thought, oh gosh, I have to do yoga because that's self care, but I never enjoyed doing it. And one day I was just like, this is not this is not for me. This doesn't refuel me, it doesn't light me up, it doesn't re energize me. It makes me feel awkward and like nervous about farting. So

that's not self care for me. Like what self care for somebody else does not necessarily mean it's self care for you. And so you just throw off that um mindset. That's what it has to be because it's something you need. It's not selfish, but it's something that refuels you. So that you can fills you up so that you can pour out to others. Yeah, and I look at it as you know, when you're on a plane and the flight attendant says, put on your own mask before assisting

others with theirs. That's how I see self care is putting on your own mask before you start assisting others with theirs. It's just practical. Yep. Yeah. I love that they have three golden rules here for self care. I love sense of three, yes, because that's simple too. There's only so much we can take in all at once. So the first golden rule of self care that this article lists is stick to the basics. Don't try and find the most complicated, not gonna work for you kind

of rhythm. I would call this the low hanging fruit. What is right in front of you that is easy to grab. You're walking by a fruit tree and it's just right there and you pluck it off. We're not climbing up to the very tippy top, going across branches to find fruit. Just what's right there within your grasp that you can incorporate into a regular rhythm or routine. And we will get into some of these specifics, but

we're laying the foundation first, stick to the basics. Yeah, and self care also needs to be something you actively plan rather than just happens. So it should be some low hanging fruit, but you should plan on when you're going to grab it, because if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, and you will not incorporate your

self care if it is not written down in your schedule. Yes, and also the third one is to be conscious about what's happening, kind of this idea of paying attention, being present in the moment too, in order to see is something sticking or not? Is this working or not? And I will add to this. So what is RESTful to us or life giving at one point in life or at one point in the month may not be what's RESTful to you a few weeks later, a few months later,

a year later. We change and shift, our needs change and shift, and our circumstances change, and so what we need at each point might look different. So this definitely isn't a prescriptive. This is what I do, and I feel this way. Certainly, Sometimes we can have rules of thumb for ourselves, but it's worth paying attention to what works what doesn't. Sometimes watching a movie is just what

I needed. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes I actually I need to be around really good friends and and have good conversation. Sometimes I just need to sleep. Sometimes it's the best thing we can do for ourselves rather than grasping for who knows what, just go to bed and get some actual sleep. So keeping that in mind, but paying attention to you, all right, how did that impact me? How am I feeling I'm more anxious? Or am I less anxious?

If I'm more anxious than it didn't work, don't keep doing that thing that doesn't work, so be paying attention to it as you go. Yeah. I think it's a good idea every season, like every quarter, to re evaluate where you are in your life and what self care practices you want to incorporate. So right now I have an eight month old and sleep is still one of my priorities for self care. And it used to be like self care could be doing things for me, but in this season of my life it's less doing things

and just taking being intentional about my basic needs. Uh, and that will not always be like that, hopefully God help me. But giving yourself twenty minutes to say, okay, what has my last quarter looked? Like, what is my next quarter going to look like? What have I been doing for self care? What do I want to keep? What do I want to add? So just doing that evaluation a few a few times a year, maybe if

your life is not changing that rapidly. Yeah, And I think I want to highlight that piece of intentionality because these things won't just happen to us. Somebody posted on Facebook recently I saw this meme that said adulthood is basically saying, but in a few weeks, life will settle down over and over and over and over again. Meaning

we're always busy. There is always something vying for our time, attention, and energy, and if we're not careful, we will give it away over and over and over and over again. So so while self care should be something that you actually enjoy, not stealing somebody else's self care. That doesn't work for you, But it will take intentionality. There's there's

this biblical concept. I know we all come from different faith backgrounds, but this one I think is true across the board of it takes effort to enter into rest, This this concept that we need to labor or make effort to experience rest, which we all know that to be true. It sounds like an oxymoron of like wait, labor for rest, but it's a reality that need others, needs other attention to other people. Accomplishing things will always

take over if we don't make effort to rest. It has got to be something that we intentionally set aside, otherwise it will never happen. Yes, I feel also personally attacked by that meme because I always say, I just I'm gonna be busy for the next few weeks. I'm just gonna be busy for the next few weeks. And I've noticed myself saying that, And I always figure out something when I have some like a few weeks of downtime. I'll be like, oh my gosh, I could do this

thing and like fill up this time. And I'm like, why did I do that? Yeah, exactly, exactly, And and probably that depends on your personality type too, Like I I am that for sure of all right, I got ten minutes in between this appointment and that a apointment, So what should I get done? I can, Yeah, it's it's it takes effort for me to let that happen.

I felt really convicted about this as I was doing research for this episode last night, and so I actually stopped working when I felt like my mental capacity had been expended, and uh went and just folded some laundry and I used one of those facial masks that you got me, Jill, like when Kai was born. Yeah, I still you had that for like four months. Yeah, so I give it to you. I give it to you the end of the beginning of September. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had it for a while and I finally used

it and it was great for you. Yeah, it was great. So I took I tried to take this info to heart. So, although self care means different things to different people, there's a basic checklist that can be followed by all of us. And I love the first thing on this checklist. It's create a no list with things you don't like or you no longer want to do. So examples might include not checking emails at night, not attending gatherings you don't like, like,

not answering your phone during lunch or dinner. When we were in premarital counseling, um our pastor said him and his wife grade events, so they'll put an event like out there because they I mean, they get invited to so many things. So they'll put the event out there and they each have to give it a grade A to F, and then they don't go unless it's uh unanimously like an A R B, A C A C average. You can't even be a C average. It has to be a unanimously an air big yeah. Yeah, Oh what

if it's a funeral or something. I mean, I don't think you're ever going to get an AIRB on that kind of thing. Well, if it's important, like an important funeral, that it's sure a like how excited I am about the event, it's a how how much do I want to go? I got it. Thanks for that clarification. If you were wondering, I'm sure you were. But no is a full sentence, and I give out nose graciously. Yes, yeah,

saying no to things. But also so this this bullet point actually carries a lot to it because it's not just saying no to things, which is a part of self care, it's also our own personal boundaries and limitations. So I love that they gave the example of not checking emails. That's a boundary. That's not a saying no to an event or a person. That is what do I want to do to be able to set these boundaries in places that are going to provide me with some rest and some self care? And so what does

that look like in my life? Not keeping your phone in your room or not staying up past a certain time. These are great things for us to be able to say, I know that this impacts me negatively when I do X, Y and Z, So I'm going to put a boundary around this for myself. Yes, a few other things that should be on everybody's list. Healthy diet, enough sleep seven to eight hours r I P sleep in my life? Which pause pause on the sleep thing. There's actually studies

showing that most of America is sleep deprived. Most of America is not getting the sleep that we need. Uh, shout out to you, Mama's Holy smokes. Thankfully, it's just the season, hopefully, unless you keep popping them out. Um. But this is how they torture people. Like if if you're if you're ever going to torture somebody, well don't do that. But when people are tortured, they usually deprive people of sleep. It is the most effective torture tactic.

So holy smokes, let's not do this to ourselves. Yeah, amen, learn how much sleep you need and get it. Yes, exercise, So maybe that's yoga for you. For me, it's CrossFit. I'm a horrible crossfitter, but I enjoy it, so I do it. Uh, maybe it's running. I also like running. Maybe it's biking, it's going to the gym, doing whatever you do there. So just any exercise whatever that looks like to you. Following up with medical care, this was

an interesting one that I did not think about. But it's not unusual to put off checkups or visit to the doctor. And we even have these well visits that are included in most of our health plans that go unused every year. So so making sure that you use those and stay on top of your health so that you can have peace of mind and don't stress about what's going on, like what that blemishes. Check out our

medical episode two if that. If this is something that you want but you are concerned about your budget, we do have some tips on medical care, reduced medical how to reduce some medical costs. So check out that episode. Engage with us in our community group too. If that is a piece of the concern or a barrier to getting these things done. Yeah, we'll link to it in the show notes. And uh so, use relaxation exercises or meditation,

spend time with your loved ones. Just relaxing and doing pleasurable things and things that fill you up is basically what it is saying. Awesome. Yes, our next article is from Pure Wow, not as educationally backed as Centric. He's still good free ways to practice self care. And I

really liked the list and that's why it's here. Which all of what we've talked about so far has been free, other than the medical piece, which yes, it does cause something to care for our bodies, but I think it's it's dispelling this whole idea that self care is getting your hair done, getting your nails done, buying new clothes, going shopping, going out to dinner, doing this, doing that. None of what we're talking about has been that yet, so much of it is what boundaries are we setting,

What are we learning about ourselves? Are we getting sleep like it? It is so much more than spending money, and I hope that that is the underlying message we can get across. If in care for yourself and be well inside yourself without a ton of money, it really does not require money for sure. Yes, Jill. What were your takeaways from this one? Yes, So the first one that stood out to me actually wasn't until number twelve,

which but it resonates with me. So I'm not, yeah things, but number twelve is tidy up your house, And I think the reason I like this one so much and I've recognized this for myself. I don't know if it's similar for you, Jen, but I realized that when my space is cluttered, it is often reflective of how my

mental or emotional state feels of just being cluttered. And that's okay, that comes and goes at times, but when I can stop and realize, oh, that's what's happening, it can really help me to tidy up my physical space, which then can create space for me to breathe emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And it's something tangible that I can put my hands to and I can see a result to it, and then that's one less thing that's kind of on my plate.

And I literally feel like a weight lifted when this happens, and I feel like I can exhale emotionally when the space around me is a bit more tidy, I feel like, Okay, I can kind of tidy things up than mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Yeah, well, it's one of the reasons we love minimalism is because the fewer things you have, the easier it is to tidy up, and the more often your space will be clear and tidy, and that helps your mental space going forward.

I liked quite a few on here, So the first one I liked was take a walk. I live in a city where we have sunshine over three days of the year, and I just recently started taking being intentional about taking walks, and it's become something that I really

enjoy doing. I have to get out of the house on Saturdays because Travis works nights and he sleeps during the day and Kai is loud, so we'll get out Saturday morning and go walk downtown and it's just been a beautiful time of like walking by the water, um, walking through the Saturday morning market, maybe listening to a podcast or audiobook while we're walking. I'll make my coffee at home and bring it with me, so I don't spend anything to do it, and it has been given

something that's been given me life on the weekends. Yeah, it's there's so many reasons why that's good being outdoors. It's a form of exercise that's a bit more leisurely. It's an opportunity for and to come along and there can be awesome chats that happen on a walk. Love it. Oh yeah? So the one right right after yours is watch a Netflix movie or show that makes you laugh.

So I like this one not necessarily just the watch a movie or show, because that doesn't usually always give us the rest that we need it it seems to be like what we need. But what I do like about this is the what makes you laugh, because playing and laughter and being able to engage in something lighthearted,

especially depending on what type of work you do. For me, this one is really important because I am sitting in some really heavy stuff quite often, and I think it's important for us to recognize what is the type of work or labor that I typically do, and where can I find some joy or life or laughter that I can put back into myself and if I could add to the us, I think it is important to pay attention to what we entertain ourselves with and what we do in our leisure time because we can continue to

pile on unrest on top of ourselves, so I'll unpack that a little bit more. For instance, this might be an extreme example, but I'll throw it out there. I work with trauma a lot, those who have experienced trauma a lot. For myself, it can be a temptation to then go read a lot about trauma or watch movies where individuals and the characters within the movies are traumatized. And I can just kind of like soak and marinate in this topic all the time because it's what I do.

And I would challenge myself and all of us to look for something that is different from what we do all the time. And so for me, entertainment has got to be lighthearted. It has got to be funny. It's got to be enjoyable. Otherwise it's not entertainment. That's like, that's more work again. And then I'm marinating in this stuff, and I'm becoming what I'm marinating in, and and so, and I do feel like that applies to anything, even if you're not working in you know, trauma work all

the time. Even if you're in finance, Well, what are you doing with your leisure time? Are you constantly doing finance things? Are you then always looking at your budget. Are you only reading financial blog posts? Like that is where it could pile on the stress because it just feels like you're only doing what you usually do in your line of work. Well, would it look like to do something completely different to read a blog about gardening or to go watch a movie about bumblebees? Like I

don't know, just something totally different. Read up on whale milk because you scrolled past it earlier. But let's revisit that one. It's so interesting. I feel counseled right now because that is literally all I do. Thank you you you know me, you know who. I thank you for counseling me on the air right now. I do need

to have more diversity in my free time. When I come park my camper at your place, I'll come make sure that we look up videos of cow milk together, have different types of all the milksh Yeah, okay, is this life giving to you? This is not in my self care at all. So another one that is on my self careless is number eight, which is put your phone on do not disturb. So I don't necessarily do this,

but my phone is on silent of the time. I do not like to interrupt my life with Ding's buzzes, vibrations, sounds like I want to be fully present wherever I am, and that means sometimes I don't see a text or a miscall for thirty minutes, an hour, whatever, but my phone is there for for me, I'm not here from my phone, so that is always on silent and that is a form of self care for me. Love it. I also loved number thirteen on here, which is create

morning and nighttime routines. And you could pick or choose whether you want a morning routine or a nighttime routine. But I do think that that is important. Something that is structured to whatever degree of structure makes sense for you, something that you know, you can anticipate and sets a

rhythm for you. So for me, that's coffee, coffee in the morning, and because it's such a ritual honestly, like, yes, I like coffee, but especially with how many transitions and chaos that can be in my life of travel living in different places, I at least know every morning I'm going to get coffee wherever I am, and it provides some security for me and it provides a nice rhythm routine ritual. I would encourage nighttime routines especially for people

who have difficulties sleeping. This is so important. I know you've probably heard this time and time again, but here I am another voice just solidifying this that we need good sleep hygiene. If we're going to get the eight to nine hours of sleep that is really recommended, then you have got to have a good nighttime routine. And that doesn't mean you've got to do like five things and it needs take an hour and a half before

you fall asleep. But that does mean not putting blue light in front of your face a half hour before bed. It does mean knowing yourself. But here's some a couple of ideas, whether that's a hot cup of non caffeinated tea or cutting out caffeine past three pm, or getting a weighted blanket, or utilizing some magnesium before you go to bed, or consult with your doctor on that one. It's a nutrient whatever, But that helps me sometimes, um, especially if if it's anxiety that's kind of keeping us

from being able to fall asleep. So that can be so helpful, not only not just for what's happening at night before what's happening through the night to be able to get the sleep that we need. Good word. Um, here are some of the things that are on this list that are not self care for me. So you know, you mentioned that watching a funny movie or show is good self care, but they also have a Netflix binge, and I feel like that is good maybe in a season.

I did a lot of Netflix binges right after giving birth because it's literally all I could do. Um, and then got into a habit of doing more TV than usual. So we actually did no TV January this month, and it helped us. I should have chosen more carefully what I was going to do instead of that time. Sometimes I used it to just do more work, but instead of it just instead of going straight to the TV, we tried to find other things to do. So we would read or do work or listen to a podcast

or something. So that is so no screen was our form of self care this month. And then also looking at animals being cute. So I have been looking at a lot of baby Yoda memes and I I have to say that I don't find it to be self care. Yes, it's funny and it's great, but it's also addictive and can get me sucked into my phone for too long and to where I just keep scrolling and scrolling, and I should probably stop scrolling, put the phone down and

go to bed. Those are my those are my only qualms with the list, and they're personal because self care is personal. Sometimes looking at animals or Yoda's being cute is self care for some people, just not for me. In this season, the one that I did not resonate on here with on here is the look at positive affirmations on Pinterest. So that's fine if it works for you. I do feel like this is a bit of a myth,

and this is backed by research. I think I've mentioned it on a different podcast that research has actually been done on positive affirmations like that wave that went through a couple of years ago of like look at yourself in the mirror and be like, you're so great, You're so wonderful, good jobs, thumbs up. That it didn't actually have impact on someone's psyche through the rest of the day, mostly because it falls flat, like it's flattery. It is

not really based on anything or connected to anything. It's just this kind of flattery, and most people don't like flattery. You want the truth. They want something that they can hang their hat on. So there are things that we can speak to ourselves that might be a little bit more rooted and grounded in some like actual truth, something we can hang our hat on where we can point

back to. No, you're not going to fail because remember that time that you thought you were going to fail in this circumstance and you did X, Y Z. Like those are effective, But just the like, hey, you're great, you're amazing, like that doesn't It doesn't. It doesn't do anything. So I'm not like, I'm not fully against affirmations. It's just that I think there has to be more meat to it. It just can't be fluffy flattery. It doesn't. It doesn't, It doesn't last, doesn't stick. Yeah, actions are

definitely louder than words here are. Values are defined by the things that we do, not by the things that we say we value. So when you're making when you're making actions that are toward what you value or towards what you're going to, uh, that is what defines what you value versus just saying like I value myself or

I value my time, or I value self care. Like you really have to make actions that move towards that instead of just saying it, speaking of just doing and taking action rather than just talking about it and things that I value, things that bring me life and joy. It's the bill of the week. That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're

happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week. Hey guys, this is take nineteen for me because I keep on messing up. I just want to let you guys know my favorite bill is my dog's

insurance bill because it saves me a lot of stress. Um. I worked in the vet industry for over ten years and I've seen some crazy, crazy bills anywhere between, like you know, the average five thousand dollar bill to fifty thousand dollars and true Panion actually covered that fifty dollars and the owners only had to pay five dollar dollars. So it's just in case of those huge emergencies, it's really nice to have insurance. And I know a lot of people are like, oh, I can say about that money,

but you never know what could happen. And also if your dog ever gets like allergic to anything. Um, they will cover the food as well. So if your dog needs to be on a special food, they will cover that food for its entire life. So you know, it's really important to me to have it. And my dog just recently went in to see a dental specialist to get a root canal done in a huge extraction or a lumper moved in his mouth and that all got somethway.

And then at the same time he was in there, he went to go see the optimologists and you know, they ended up, Um, he ended up with panis. So all his medication is now covered. So I did the math. I'm up fift dollars with true panni and it's great. I recommend it. I would do it. Dave Ramsey hates it,

but you know, um, he's not always right. So have yourselves a wonderful day, take care by Oh yeah, I honestly I personally agree with you, because all I ever hear about people with pets is like how expensive the pet bills are, like thousands of dollars, and so the fact that you're out on that is cheap is less than one vet bill. And usually if there's one bill, there's other ones to follow. And pets are expensive. Man, you think kids are expensive, try having a pet. That's

what I'm saying perfect. I think you described it so well, Kate with the It gives you peace of mind, particularly when the big emergencies come up. Off I might spend and especially yeah, I mean, we care about our pets and so you know, if they still have a lot of life to live. Of course you're gonna you're gonna pay for that surgery. You're going to do that thing, and then that's just coming out of your pocket or

you're going into debt for it. So to just have that peace of mind to know that all right, I've got this covered if need be. And I love your your confidence in what you need and what makes sense for your financial journey. Regardless of what Dave Ramsey agrees with or doesn't agree with. Right now, we're not none of us are always right on everything. Yeah, So Jill's there most of the time, but even she has been wrong. Don't husband that he's going to hear this. Yeah, sometimes

I'm wrong. Yeah, if you want to submit your bill of the week and you want to tell us all about the bills that you enjoy that makes sense to you, even if there are other financial growers out there who might disagree with you. It's okay. We we don't mind controversy. Friends podcast dot com, slash bill, leave us a bill, yeah, thank you. Let's get controversial with our bills. Oh my goodness. Depending on how controversial, we might not play him. But right, yeah,

we we've reserved that. Right And now after all of that, it's time for boo boo boo. So I was super convicted after doing research on this. So I wanted us to set some self care goals. Jill and I personally like one or two things on this list that we are going to do immediately or this weekend. How we are going to care for ourselves because Jill, you just got back from like a really intense trip to Peru and you need some self care. I am just living my life and that's hard for me. And I'm here,

I'm here on this earth and I need self care. Yes, So things that I am going to do in the next couple of days and this upcoming weekend, and that I want to do regularly. It so this this is just a handful play and in our outline that I have with Jen and I I have it in like all caps and its first and I talk about this in my trainings. To play is so important and you

can do your own research on this. There's a fantastic book called Play It Away, lots of books about play, lots of research about play, journal articles about play and its benefits. It helps to reduce anxiety, It um increases blood flow to the brain. It bonds us with whoever we're playing with U. It helps us to sleep better. It increases relational harmony, It increases the flihood of experiencing like peace and joy inside ourselves. Like there's there's so

much uh. The book Play It Away is about this guy who was a workaholic and basically burnt himself out in the work that he was doing, like high power, I believe, like CEO of a company, and how he kind of journeyed through, walked through that experience of burnout and just at his wits and mentally and emotionally, and how play, just playing is what helped him get back to a more stable point mentally, emotionally, physically anyhow. Super important,

but it looks different for everybody. For me, one of the ways that I play is actually with kids. So thank goodness, my nieces and nephews are in town right now, and the second I get off from podcasting, I am going to go play with them. We're doing ninja training. We are digging through like cute little figurines. We are dressing little stuffed bunny animals and we are just playing and laughing and it is so good for my soul.

Oh I love that. Oh my gosh. One thing that I'm going to do is call a friend, not you, Jil. This doesn't count. I I could just say this is not it is giving. But I want to call other friends that I don't talk to a lot, because I feel like one of the places where I really where I really fail in life is maintaining relationships with people who are not right in front of me. And Jill has been like the only person. Jill has been the only person that I've been able to maintain a relationship with.

It doesn't live in my city that I don't see on a weekly basis, and that's because we have a side hustle together. I mean, maybe that's maybe that's what I need to do with all of my and is to start a money involved for me to maintain a relationship. There has to be money involved, ask my husband. But I want to call a friend and catch up and uh and yeah, because relationships are life giving to me and I just take them for granted. So that's that's

one of my things. And speaking of life giving, actually, this weekend, I am going to go away with some friends, some life giving friends. And it's okay to have relationships that are varying degrees of life giving. That's that happens. Some people take more than they give and that's just the season that they're in, and that's okay. But we also need to make sure that we've got people who

where there's more reciprocity in the relationship. It may only be one to three people, but finding those people and regularly spending time with them. So for me, you've got two really great friends and we're just going away to Philly for the night. She got an awesome deal on a hotel and we're just going to have fun with a couple of girlfriends. Yay, that sounds so good. The other thing I'm gonna do is make a gratitude list. I want to write down things that I'm thankful for.

And I actually, uh spoiler when Travis listened to this started making one about him and just all the things that I'm thankful for that he does and the person

that he is. And because I heard this in an audio book and how there was this husband who was unhappy in his marriage and saw somebody make a gratitude list for his wife and then he started doing it and like it just transformed their entire relationship, marriage, family, And I'm like, why wait until things are bad, let's do They'll do a well things they're good, and so that's I want to do it for other areas of

my life as well. It's awesome. And you know that is the simple thing, Like going back to our very first article of the Golden Rules, and the foundation of all of this self care stuff is the simplicity. And I think sometimes we think, oh, man, I'm so exhausted that what I need must be such a massive thing. I'm so exhausted. But man, when am I going to be able to take off for three weeks and go on an elaborate vacation. No, that's that's not what we

often need. Those things are great, they're fantastic, they can be life giving, but I think we would be so shocked to realize how simple it can be to bring us up out of a place of feeling absolutely exhausted. And I think what you're describing, Jen is one of those pieces that we would so easily overlook but has a profound impact. Like what you're saying of it's say, to marriage, just the simple act of being grateful. And I will say, even from a more like clinical perspective,

this gratitude piece. There's a lot of research on that too, and I'll spare you like all of that, but to say, where there is if you're noticing this in yourself of bitterness or frustration, or a constant pattern of feeling like tired, worn out, upset, angry, this is the antidote gratitude. Again,

it sounds very simple, but it is. And so where you can start creating a rhythm and a routine of gratitude, of listing things out every day, of looking for the gratitude pieces even in the midst of something awful, my goodness, that perspective shift and that practice of saying, Okay, I had a really sucky week, but where is the gratitude piece, or I kind of I call this the kindness? Where was the kindness in that time like, so you just said I just got back from Peru, which is true,

and it was a really difficult trip. However, I am practicing to look at the kindnesses in the time where a lot of people were sick on the trip, I had to take on more than I thought that I would have to take on. However, the gratitude for me and it was that I did not get sick. I was able to do the pieces that I had to take on, and we had a final day, an unexpected day where we were able to enjoy a beautiful pool

and like jungle surroundings layout in Hammocks. So I'm choosing to look at those pieces, and it is drastically changing my outlook and my perspective on the trip. And I feel a whole lot freer inside myself because I'm choosing to look at the kindnesses and sit in gratitude rather than like, oh my word, look at all the things that sucked. I'm not saying that it's super easy or super fun, and that is not to discount the difficult stuff.

We can still look at that, we can still mourn it, but we will be better off inside ourselves if we can discipline ourselves to practice this. That's such a fantastic, such a good word to finish this episode out on. It's thank you, Jill, thank you. I'm grateful for you, Jen, and so grateful for our listeners. Yes, I'm grateful for all of you and whether you are a listener subscriber in our for Girlfriends community on Facebook, I think about you, guys,

and I'm thankful for you, and I'm thankful for all this. Yes, So, and be encouraged that you can do these things. You can care for yourself well, you can be aimed at well being even if you have zero dollars in the bank. Amen. Thanks so much for listeninging to our Frugal self Care episode once again. And I hope even if you heard it the first time, you took away some reminders of

what true self care is. And I mean, we believe that part of that is financial self care, because when you take care of the big things, you can rest more easily on the smaller things. So we definitely hope to see you at the Future of Frugal Summit. And one of the ways that you can enter to win some of our prizes throughout the summit is by leaving a review of the podcast kind of like this one from mackim mka him. However you say it, uh says

favorite podcast by far happens to be five stars. If you're looking for all of the lessons in frugality and also want to laugh out loud, this is the podcast for you. I just joined the Frugal Friends Facebook community too, and so far it's seems great. Highly recommend this as a sure time listening. To make doing the dishes feel like a treat, that's high praise. Because the dishes are the worst, that is high praise. We make doing the

dishes more enjoyable. What that's a kind review. We also want to thank our friends who share these episodes on social media. So when you share the latest episode and tag us on Facebook or Instagram, we add you to our monthly drawing. For every five tags and reviews we get each month, we give away a copy of the Frucal Friends workbook and Jenneral We're also doing the special thing this month. We are doing the special thing this month. Okay, folks, here it is. If you also leave us a podcast

reviews and send us the screenshot. If you tag us on social media, if you share our podcast, you're the summer or the summits, any of it, you get entered into this drawing. And not only are you entered into the drawing for the Frugal Friends workbook, you're also entered into the drawing for the all Access pass. So that's the past that gets you all of the interviews, lifetime access, along with all of the products that the speakers have submitted, the goodie bag. All of it comes to you for free.

For so we love that word. Leaving us reviews on iTunes or Stitcher and sending the screenshot to Frugal Friends podcast at gmail dot com. And don't forget us to tag us on social when you share the summit and we will see you later, see you next week. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirian. We'll actually see them Monday, Jill, see you Monday. We'll actually see them Sunday. We have a kickoff call Oh see you Sunday today. We're gonna

see you every day. It's gonna be so fun. What a good way to self care too, I mean equipping ourselves, training ourselves, growing in knowledge and skill set is a form of self care. It's not the only thing, but it is one of the components. When we feel equipped to handle the challenges and problems that we face, when we have the tools to do daily life, that is

self care. I didn't listen to half of what you're saying because I was thinking of the bottle of whiskey I'm going to buy for the happy hours that we're roasting. Very excited um about that. It's fair, But the last half sounded good, and I agree