Frugal Pregnancy & Parenting with THE Mrs. Frugalwoods | Saving Money on Baby The Smart Way

excited for any interview we've ever done. But it might be my favorite episode we've ever done. She is kind of your like celebrity crush, so I am yeah fan girl of a little hard. I kept it together real good in the interview. Looked real cool. Thank you, thank you. We have list Thames, the Mrs frugal Woods from frugal Woods dot com and she is talking with us about

frugal pregnancy and parenting. So you've heard her talk about financial independence, you've heard her talk about homesteading, and today she talked with us about all the things I needed to hear because I'm on this podcast and I make the show outline. So so there you go, that's your only about you fan girling hard. This is also super relevant for you, So this is definitely this is definitely Jen's episode And if you're like Jen in any way,

this episode is also for you. Yes, and if you will be like me one day, which hopefully you will, why wouldn't you want to be? You know? I could be like a commercial like if you are pregnant or ever planned to be pregnant, or have children or ever planned to have children, this episode is for you if you're a person. So before we get in to this awesome, awesome, jam packed episode, we gotta give thanks to our sponsors. We have to pay homage. And the first one is

modern frugality dot com. It is my blog and shop and if you didn't think I will self absorbed before you do now. The Modern Frugality shop has free and low cost printables, resources e books to help you reduce your spending, minimize your stuff, and organize your life. So visit shop dot modern frugality dot com to see all the freebies, and if you purchase anything, use the code frugal Friends nineteen and you get fifty percent off anything

and that's includes anything on sale to fantastic. This show is also brought to you by All Natural. We don't know what it means when it's listed on the side of cereal boxes, but in most cases, all natural sounds like a good thing. Thinking about dyeing your hair. Don't go all natural, thinking about shaving your legs or armpits. Don't go all natural, thinking about getting an epidural. Don't go all natural. Going all natural the scary frugal thing to do. I get behind none of that. I know,

I love your face. You start to realize how much all natural is not actually a good thing. It usually means nothing when it's on the side of boxes that you eat, and in real life, tangibly, people who go all natural are the scary ones. Yeah, I mean, I guess so props. Props were sponsor today. Lucky for you,

Liz does not recommend going that natural. She has such a really balanced view on all this, on all this stuff that people say could cost like tens of thousands of dollars, and she did it very frugally, was able to reach financial independence with a kid, and now she has to She just has a fantastic story. So I'm really excited for you guys. To hear this interview, so let's get into it. Enjoy, Liz, thank you so much for coming on the show. We're so stoked to have

you here. Oh, thank for inviting me. I'm excited. Awesome. So let's start with pregnancy. So how were your pregnancies and how did you conquer all the hormonal urges to buy all the things because I'm struggling with that in the midst I so understand. So I have two kids. I have a three year old and an almost one year old, two girls. So I have been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last like four years. So I'm okay, I'm kind of ready to move past this phase of life.

Your Yeah, So I've been pregnant a lot lately. So you know, with my first pregnancy, I felt really fortunate because I got pregnant after my husband and I had already embraced this really sort of financially conscious frugal ethos, and so the pregnancy and the baby really kind of slotted into that lifestyle that we were already living. If you're not very financially conscious and you're pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant, I cannot stress enough to do it

before the baby comes. You have more free time, more sanity, and more energy now than you ever. No. I mean I'm care when they're like eighteen, but no, no, this is this is a real favor that you can do for yourself before the baby comes. So if you haven't kind of had that money conversation, either with yourself or if you have a partner, if you haven't sat down and you know, done sort of the basic financial management tools that you need to do, do it before you

have the baby's start from there. It is interesting to hear for a lot of people that is the motivator. I mean, it'd be great to even start prior to seeing that positive pregnancy test. But for a lot of people that is it like, oh, there's somebody else that we're bringing into this world that is going to be impacted by our decisions and our lifestyle. Let's get it together. Absolutely,

and it's fine. You know you've got nine months, Like it really is first song from someone who's been pregnant twice. It's a long I know it really it feels like I've been pregnant forever. How far along are you? Twenty four weeks so you're I know, I know I know it's I understand. So you know, for people who are like despairing, they're like, but I'm already thirty weeks. Yeah, you still have like ten or twelve weeks. You know, you've got plenty of time. So really, truly, you're doing

this before you have the kids. This is just a great favor to yourself to feel like you are financially empowered before you ever know the person who's depending on you. So in terms of the hormonal urges, they kind of never go away. I really focused on what I needed to have done in order to feel prepared and feel kind of secure in my nesting instinct because I really needed to nest and like get everything writing. And for me, it was like having the car seat installed. I swear

I had my husband installed it. I think I was still in my first time muster. Um He's like, okay, what ever will make you feel, but so know yourself, know what you need, you know. And for me, it wasn't really buying things so much as just feeling really prepared. So I had my hospital back, I had the baby's room ready. Um. At the beginning of my third trimester, carseat installed. We had a plan of action, for who

is going to watch our dog? This is with the first kid, And so I think knowing yourself and knowing what you need, and a lot of times the root of it is not actually buying things, it's feeling prepared. So I've read a ton of books. I read like every book on newborn wellness and like baby raising because that helps me. You know, it was nervous. If you're not nervous before you have a kid, you are like woefully uh mistaken, you know, I mean it should be.

It's that's normal and having that anxiety, if you can just channel that into Okay, I'm gonna read research, take a class if you want to, you know, talk with friends who have kids, find ways to have yourself feel prepared. And then in terms of the actual stuff, I'll say it now, and I'll probably say it a million more times in this interview. Go used secondhand hand me downs. I cannot stress this enough because I am an advocate

for this in all aspects of life. But even if you're like not into used stuff and not a super frugal person, you want to do it for kids, especially for tiny babies, because they cycle through their clothing and their gear at a just like an alarming alarming So my youngest says, um, she's a year old, but she's really small. But by the time she was six months old, I had already gotten rid of like three bins of

clothing and a ton of gear. You know, because once they start sitting up, you don't need the bumbo seat, once they start crawling, you don't need the bouncer, you don't need the exer saucer. So find these things used, and there are so many different ways to do that. Craigslist obviously, um garage sales free by the side of the road. I found a number of things that way. Talk to your friends like me have kids and who are not having more kids. They want to get rid

of their stuff. So I can't even tell you how badly I want this stuff out of my anybody needs an extra sauce or please, I've been the classic seriously dam out. I just get it out. All the New World clothes, I just immediately give it to my friend whose baby is a couple of months to anger. So find those people they want this stuff out. Same thing

from maternity clothes. I didn't buy any maternity clothing at all, and I was still working a professional job in an office, you know, get hand me downs if you have to buy something by like one pair of nice black pants, I don't wear those, and like we're a different top. You know. It just you do not need to like set a fashion trend while your pregnant, because you're like, I'm uncomfortable anyway, and I even the cute clothes, You're like whatever, I don't know. I'm still like a whale

over here. So it says, I mean it, really, it just I cannot emphasize enough. It does not that. UM. And again, these are such brief phases of life, and so other good sources of you staff find your local parents list, serve. Sometimes it's by emails. Sometimes it's on Facebook. Become a member even before you have your baby. It is like your source for friends, play dates, free stuff advice, UM, you know, heads up on preschool applications. It's everything you

really want to get plugged in with that, UM. And then find your places where people with little kids congregate. So free play groups, free read alongs at the library. Just get plugged into this network of people, UM, both both for the free stuff and for a place to give your stuff away too, but also for you know the fulfillment that comes from having those friendships. So that's

a really long answer. Just through so much at us that I feel like it's gonna if I were pregnant listening to this podcast, I would probably stop right there and re listen because you just gave so many really good to us. The one that really stands out to me is and I read this on your blog about a frugal pregnancy, and it really struck me because I think it's so profound and wise, but getting to the root of why people would want to just buy and buy and buy in preparation for a child, and a

lot of it is fear based. And you even said in your blog that marketers know that they know that you feel ill equipped, ill prepared, and so by this thing and buy that thing. And you gotta get your bottle warming, you gotta get your your your other warmer, you gotta get your diaper, pale trash stuff and all this stuff. And what it really is is I don't feel prepared, and so buying all these things makes me

feel more prepared. But the better route is to say, let's get some resources, free resources from the library, let's read about it, and that that can kind of ward off these other things that really aren't necessary or wait to see, do I actually need the white warmer? You don't. You don't think that I didn't register for that. You don't need that. One of the ways that I did that as I took your tip for joining the buy nothing group. I mean, we've always we've loved by nothing

groups in you know, this podcast community. But I posted just there that like, we're having a boy, so I'll take whatever, and oh my gosh, I have clothes for the first two years of his life already. And just just the act of like washing those clothes and putting them on hangars or folding them like that was kind of like enough to like quell me, Like yeah, so there's something to be said there. You can still like nest even when you're like getting your stuff for free,

and yeah, and I would argue it's you. I love the clothing. Oh my gosh, the kids clothing. I have kids clothing up to like age six at this point because I just keep and my advice to people with taking hand me downs for babies, take it all. So if someone says, do you want this like huge car load of stuff, just say yes, take it because I was really surprised at what I ended up using and what I didn't end up your kids, you know. It just it was very hard for me before having my

first to gauge what I would actually need. And so there are things that I never used and I've just passed along to someone else. And then there's stuff that I have used every day that when we got it, my husband and I said to each other, how dumb is this? This is like we we're never going to use this stupid thing, and we've used it every single day. So it's you know, take it all. It's overwhelming. It's a lot of stuff, especially if you don't have a

storage space. But you can just pass it along as you know, the minute that you're finished with it. All of it is washable. Clothing obviously washable, but all of the other things they have removable covers. You can take everything apart. I've washed like car seat buckles, entire it all comes apart. It's all washable, and if it's not just right down with vinegar and a bit clean, and

then your baby will throw up all over it. The first day I take before my second, I didn't really clean the stuff because I was like, what was my first baby. Anyway, it's my dirt, so it's fine. And so as far as getting getting used things, either through buy nothing groups or through friends, I noticed that you had some tips for people who might have some safety concerns with high chairs or maybe strollers are different things. What do you suggest there Someone's like, no, I'm I'm

afraid to not buy new what about safety? You can research the model number and the serial number, So look on the bottom of the car seat or the side of the high chair or the crib and just google that, you know, Grey CO four five six, whatever the information is, and find out if there have been any recalls on the product. So we found there had been a recall on our high chair. However, you get from the manufacturer,

you can get the free fix it kit. So we just signed up and said, we have this high chair, we need the free fix it kit. They nailed it to us and my husband I don't even know what it was, but he, you know, put it on there in the way that it was supposed to be installed. So I know that for things like that, you can often receive the recall item for free in order to

fix it. For car seats, um car seats expire. However, I will say that the exploration date is very close to the creation date, and I think intentionally so I think everybody needs to do their own research on what they're comfortable with with car seats. In general, if a car seat has not been in a car accident, is probably fine. Would I buy Would I buy and expired

car seat from somebody I didn't know? Probably not. But if someone I know, and all of my car seats have come from close friends of mine, they've given them to me for free, so they have nothing to gain by, you know, telling me that it hasn't been in an accident. So I say, no, be a little bit cautious with how you source your car seat. But I you know, I don't really necessarily think you need to purchase new. I will say that some hospitals will check the expiration

date on the car seat. So with my first child, UM baby number one, they did not check the exploration date. I guarantee you it was expired. We left the hospital find whatever. Um second child born at a different hospital, they checked the exploration date and they wouldn't let us leave the hospital. So my husband ran to Walmart and

not any one for thirty bucks. Oh my gosh, So you know, have that awareness and because that was a major pain and so had I known that, I would have like gone to Walmart a little bit out of time and bought one. So you can just ask your hospital if they have a policy about that, if they check the expiration date. I don't, you know, I don't know, I think, so you need to do your own research on that. For everything else, you know, use common sense.

I mean, if if the item looks like it's broken or it's going to be a choking hazard, probably don't get it. I mean, in you know, in general, these things are pretty lately used. Let's really go through this stuff quickly. And so most of my things are you know, they came to me like on maybe their fifth child, and I've no pass them alone and they're still fine. That's good to know. Yeah, that's fantastic. As far as

the actual necessities, what have you found? I mean, it seems like, especially for someone having their first, they may start to collect. And I think that is the downside is that you can think you need all these things to you buy it. It's different if someone just gives it to you and you're holding onto it just to find out. But what have you found for yourself? Are

the important things to have before bringing home a baby? Well, this is a tough one because it depends on you, depends on how you and you if you have a partner, how you too want to parent, what kind of home you want. You know, if you're in a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan, it's going to be different than me in a four bedroom home. So I think you need to think about what's going to work best for your

family and your lifestyle. You know. I don't think there's like these are they things you need and you don't need anything else, because for somebody who's walking to the subway every day, you're going to need a stroller. Gonna need a stroller, you know. So it's just you're gonna want to think through your routine and what you need to do with baby every day. And like I was speaking to a friend who's having twins, and my advice

to her is a little bit different. You know, I said, you you've got to get car seats that snap into the stroller because you can't carry two car seats at once. Two but too heavy. So she needs to be able to you know, whereas if you have one car seat you can't. So I think it it's just it's really going to depend. I didn't buy anything before my first It was all used and it was all handed down. And what we decided is, you know, we'll wait after she's born. If we need to buy some things, we'll

buy them. And I would say, give yourself a budget for I call it like the ridiculous baby thing you have to have because I had to buy, like had to buy a shopping cart cover fifteen dollars. But you just why is why? Um? So you can you know, I don't know, give yourself that like budget for on Amazon. You know, don't it shouldn't need two hundred dollars a week, right, you just you don't need that much stuff, But allow yourself to like, Okay, I need to buy this ridiculous

baby thing. I bought these like handprint like baby handprint kits. It's a frame and it's like the handprints, but we couldn't get my daughter's hand, so it's two feet so she just kept My husband was like, we're just doing the feet. I was like, well, I don't know what so that's not it shows on the butt sun up it's like he's like, oh my god, so your feet, our next daughter, second baby. I just want to say, it's a hand in the foot. I got that hand.

So things like that. If you really want to buy that, buy it, but be conscious, be thoughtful. You know, I wouldn't impulse by a five jogging stroller. You know, I got a jogging stroller for five dollars at a thrift store. I got a double jogging stroller for sixty bucks off of my parents listener. So and be cognizant of what you're gonna need. At the outset, you don't need very much.

They don't do anything, They eat, and they sleep. I was gonna ask, and I don't know how realistic this is, but I imagine that if I ever have kids, I will probably purchase beforehand one outfit and a car seat. But I'm curious how realistic would that be to literally practically buy nothing and then decide what's needed from someone who has kids. Could that is that possible? I need? I will tell you something, anything is possible. I have seen people, thank you. I mean, I've seen it. All

of your dreams, to truly leave your dreams. I will do that because I like to be prepared. I told you, like a prepare o phobe. So I had to have everything like washed in the drawers, you know, like um, like baptism outfit picked out like I just to be prepared the challenge. I think with your approaches that then you're probably gonna end up buying new and then you're just gonna and you're just gonna buy it and start

in your early pregnancy. Just as Jen, as you were describing, start early, you talked to your buying nothing group, start trolling Craigslist. You know it's gonna take you a while to find this stuff. I mean it took me, like I don't know how many months to find my double jogging stroller, you know. And so I bought the double jogging stroller while I was still pregnant with my second. Yeah, I knew I was gonna want it. I knew sixty

bucks was a great deal. Um. I made my husband go get it that day because it was such a deal. It's like, you have to pick this up right now. So if you you know, if you start early in the pregnancy, you're just giving yourself a lot of opportunity. And again, just give it away and get rid of it. I wouldn't buy a ton of new stuff before the baby scorn, but I would stock up. And they do need a lot of clothes. Uh oh my gosh, the like the both friends. It's just there's a lot of laundry.

Um what you need to do, you know, But you don't need complicated clothes. You just need a one piece sleeper. You're not going to know. I feel like I have so much clothing, and I did. I gave myself a thirties thrift store budget to buy clothing, buy some of my own at the threat store. I love it. Yeah, so yeah, but yeah, I feel like I have so much right now. I'm like looking at it because my office is in the baby's nursery. It's got the best internet. But I mean, you'll use it or you'll just give

it away, you know. And I just end up using that like zip up onesie thing, like the whole shirt and pants for a newborn. No, it just no, it's so hard to get them in at their hands, Like you mean, I don't need like a tiny tuxedo. And I'm like, so, I just love the dresses, but just wait till they're older. Because when you go out and about they're mostly going to be on you in a carrier. So the other thing I recommend, if you're going to go your route of buying one outfit in a car seat,

I would get it an infant carrier. I my kids live. My one year old is still in the carrier on your body. You know what I'm talking about. It's I'm gesturing. But these people can't so like a wrap, so there's rass. The movie Rap is very popular. I am not skilled enough to do the Moby Rap and my children split out. I prefer the Ergo Bay like a back snap snap. You can't mess it up. They're not going to fall out.

They can go on the front or on the back. Yeah, we actually have an Ergo Baby and my husband got it like right after we got married because it was free on Craigslist and just like oh yeah that things like five hundred bucks, you know yeah, And I was like, well, hey, what are you saying because we just got married, and be like your take you this away from somebody who could use it in like the three years that we have not been pregnant since stuff. But we held on

to it and we're gonna use it. And then they pass it on we will pass it on to somebody who needs that. We'll get pregnant faster. And you know what, I and I took me a long time to get pregnant, and so I like had this stuff in my house for a long time. And then after my first was born, I was like, oh, well I won't be pregnant again for a while, so I lent out all this stuff. And then I got pregnant like really quickly with my second and it's like, um, she was like, oh, what

do you need him? I was like kind of like this week. So you know, I lent them mountain between. But you know, but yeah, so having a carrier. I find this really imperative. And you and your husband might find that you like different carriers. My husband is not like the same carrier that I use. It's just different bodies, different people. So you'll have to figure out you might not like the ergo. You know, you there are often

baby wearing groups in towns. It's like baby wearing Mamas or baby wearing whatever, and then you can go and try out their carriers. Oh interesting, try out the cars because depending on your body, your back, it's a lot of weight on your back and you want to be comfortable, you know, because I have mine in there while I'm cooking, while I'm doing housework. They love to be in there. But it's heavy, but it's good. So I just have. I just got a new nephew, can you say it

that way? Yes, My sister just birthed another human. And I was out there like living nannying for two weeks and I got to wear him on me, and it is like the most amazing thing. He's so warm, he's so heavy. Like my lower back hurt for a long time. Three hours of that stuff, but he was so content for three hours of me just moving around cleaning up, cooking. It was so sweet. Though I have like serious back pain because of it, and I continue to do it

because they're so they're so content. Yeah, so happys sleep Mama or whoever. And Jill, you know, good the body. They're pretty like not discriminating when they're exactly that's on the next best thing to mom. That's what I like to think. Yeah you are you are? Um? So, so once maybe is home, what kind of expenses should we anticipate, um, and which should we anticipate trying to avoid not just like stuff, I guess but like all the other things, Okay,

so I feel like we've covered stuff. Something that we did that was a great plan, which was not my idea, somebody else's idea. We stopped our chest freezer with pre made meals, so adult meals. So my husband, he's a cook. He cooked up like tons upon tons of soups and stews and chilies and stir fries. We froze them in just court size zip block bags. But you don't need to get We tried to get like fancy freezer boxes.

It was ridiculous, just quart sized bags. Um. And then what happened is we could just eat that over rice every night, so he would just warm it up, pop it over rice. Because you're not gonna feel like cooking. You're not gonna feel like anything. So it's kind of like, either do that or be prepared to spend a lot on take out. People will want to bring you things, tell them to bring you food. You know, be very grateful for a meal that we did that with both

of our kids, and it's so helpful. It's it's hard to overstate sort of how exhausting one little person is and how much it sort of SAPs the reserves of two or more adults. If you have the luxury of preparing the food ahead of time, that's awesome. What about for prior? You know, you hear all these women saying, oh my word, food craving. I just have to get in my car and go run and get fringe fries. And it's like happening every day, and they're like, you know,

eating for two. What's your take on that? How to save money, how to fight some of those cravings or given in a frugal way. What do you think? I think? You know talked here Obi about how your weight gain is going. I was really cognizant of that because I didn't want to have to lose like tons of weight afterwards, and my back was already hurting, so I'm like, oh my gosh. So I was really kind of conscious of just trying not to gain too much weight for that perspective.

I ended up My second was eight pound two ounces anyway, like she was. It was nine five. Oh I wasn't you are looking at a nine five baby? You're train. That's so funny, all them brains, you know that. M Well, yeah, I mean for the cravings, like I give into the cravings for for me. It was always just the first trimester, and so I didn't I knew it wasn't gonna last the whole time. With my first it was tomato sauce

like spaghetti and neat bel tomato sauce. So I just had my husband make it from scratch at home and he made me like, I mean that's I would just eat like barely any noodles, just like eat the tomatoes. He was like. And then with my second and the first trimester, it was beef tacos, very bisser my cravings all the time. I like, I need just tacos. So it would be like nine in the morning and it's like,

I need some beef tacots. So it was so again I had my husband, my chef, just he made me a huge, like you know, misan plas of all these different taco fixings so he may love that, like cook this all up. He cooked it up in the morning. He was so disgusted. He's likely so, yeah, I have a toddler, so you know, sure, if you need to eat it, eat it. Because there really was a point. I'm swearing it was like a medical condition. All the beef tacos. So do that cook it at home if

you can be reasonable. You know, you don't need a McDonald's burger. You could make a nice burger at home, you know, So think about just think about it the way you would with anything else. You already more and you're gonna eat more if you decide to breastfeed. Oh my gosh, you will just eat so much. And just do it. You know, you need to buy yourself good food. You need to feed yourself. Yeah, and like you said with the clothing, it's it's a season, like it's passing.

It won't you won't forever and always be eating beef tacos at nine am. So just let it happen for a couple of weeks, couple of months, whatever. Yeah, mine was Mine was Chick fil a chicken sandwiches. And I was a vegetarian, I have I was a vegetarian up until like several weeks ago for ten years, and was the Chick fil a chicken sandwiches. I had three in one week and that was it. No, two of them were in one day list. Two of them. No, trust me, I totally. You just go through this place and I

think it just crave protein. I think that's why I wanted the beef so because we don't really eat that, and I was like, I need meat. And even still with breastfeeding, I'm like, it's like, what do you want for dinner, I'm like chili with chicken, Like I want, I need a lot more meat, you know, well pregnant and breastfeeding, because you just don't need more and you should be eating more good stuff, you know, chicken instead

of Yeah. Yeah, I started. I started making like chicken at home because I was like, if I'm gonna do this, I don't want to do it the fried way, I want to do it like real and healthy. So I'm not gonna be a vegetarian who just eats Chick fil a sandwiches. Yeah that's what I was, like, I'm a

vegetarian except except yeah, that was me. Speaking of caring for yourself in the midst of pregnancy and after having children, Liz, you shared really personally and intimately about some of the things that you went through and how you had to care for yourself on your blog after giving birth to your second child, and I wonder if you wouldn't mind sharing some of your story with some of the postpartum things that you experienced in any advice that you would

give to other women who might be experiencing that, it sounds like a fairly common thing, like how to identify, how to treat it, how to care for yourself, and like work towards well being in that m So, I had postpartum depression, which went undiagnosed with my first and then was diagnosed about six months after my second child was born. So that's a fairly long period of time.

And now that I'm in treatment, what I've come to recognize is that I think I've had sort of like a low level of anxiety and depression for many decades, and then the hormones of pregnancy and birth and breastfeeding just really ramped it up. And with the second um sort of having the constraints of already having a toddler being even more sleepless, it was so pronounced that my husband finally said, you know, something's wrong. You need to go get help. It's like this is no longer a conversation.

I'm not asking you, I'm telling you that you're going to do this. I've made you an appointment. You're going. Well, that was pretty clear. So you know, I went to a therapist and I described how I'd been feeling, and she pretty much immediately said, that's very much textbook postponum depression and anxiety. And I thought, really depression. I don't feel depressed, but the symptoms that I was having, I now recognize our sort of hallmarks of depression and anxiety.

So I was exhausted. You're exhausted after having a child anyway, you know, that's just a fact. But it was this was beyond that. Um. I was so hungry all the time again like above and beyond this, like knating chicken and beef tacos thing, just trying to like sort of sleep more, trying to eat more. UM. I tried to exercise as much as I possibly could. I was very angry. I had just a very short temper, which is really not good when you have a three year old and

a baby, you know. So I wasn't losing my patients with them. I was using my patients with my husband. UM and he can take it. But he's like, all right, this is this is not you, you know, He's like, this is not who you are. You don't yell and scream at me, and not fun for you either to be UM. And I've subsequently learned that anger is another symptom of depression. I had no patience, I had no resilience.

So something bad happened, Um, I just would fall down into this deep despair like and this could have been something really minor, like if my daughter I didn't eat her lunch or something. I just would like go spiral into gosh, she's not healthy. We're not doing the right things, like the wrong food for her. Again, I can't do anything right right. So this was just constant is daily and it's so difficult to function, let alone when you

have two kids. And so I think for me, not understanding the symptoms was the reason that it went undiagnosed. And so I really encourage people before you have your child, after you do your financial preparation meeting, after you get all your used stuff, do some reading on postpartment depression. You know, I had done very cursory reading, just kind

of flipping through like, yeah, I'm not depressed. Um, really dig into kind of how these symptoms are described and be very open to recognizing if you think that's happening within yourself, because the treatment is quite easy in a lot of cases and quite life changing. So for me, I was able to start taking an S s R I Zoloft, which I can continue breastfeeding while taking. So I had a fear that they were going to say, oh, you can't breastfeed anymore. You can absolutely breastfeed with Zoloft.

And there are a couple other S s R s as well, so that was not a barrier at all. I was concerned that I would have side effects, that my personality would be different, not at all. I just feel normal, you know. I just feel like a normal

person and a happy, funny, resilient UM person. And so I I really emphasize this with people that if you even think you're having trouble after your baby is more, there's just no harm in speaking to your doctor about whether or not medication or therapy might be something that would help you. And if it doesn't help, then maybe it's something else. You know, have your fire checked, have UM all of these other vitamin levels checked. I had every blood test done, you know, trying to figure out

what this might be UM. So go that route. It's it's very worth it. And what it did for me is it allows me to actually enjoy this time with my kids. And I've heard from many Unfortunately, I've heard from a lot of people after I wrote that that they did not recognize the depression until their children were one to ten eighteen. They went their children's entire basically entire lifetimes, or even the entire babyhood or toddlerhood, and they think back like, oh, it could have been so

much better. And that's how I think back now for the last couple of years, like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe you know, that was kind of suffering under this cloud. So get home. See, there's no shame in it. It can happen to anyone. It's a chemical imbalance. So you know, I tell people that get over yourself, like this in your brain, there's not It's not like some sort of like personal shortcoming or which I think is a stigma that surrounds mental illness generally. So you can

read my posts, you can read someone else to post subsequently. Interestingly, I'm good friends with our pediatrician, and I've had quite a few conversations with her about how to screen people for postpartum depression, because your pediatrician is your main point of contact after you have a baby. Before the baby, it's like you at the obie every day after. It's

like with pediatrician all the time. So I tell people, find a pediatrician that you trust and that you like and who could give you a referral if you needed it to a therapist or would help you identify if what you're feeling is normal or you know. But when I say, it's like, if you think it's not normal,

just talk to somebody. Yeah, your your story like inspired me when I read it on your blog, because like I felt a lot of those symptoms in my first trimester when I was like go, go go, and then got pregnant and then like I couldn't do any of the things that I was normally doing and I was like angry about it. I was anxious about this pregnancy. I didn't know about like all of all of these things. And then like that's it might have been around the

time that I read your post. It was then that I realized, like, oh, I might be kind of at risk for that after the baby, if this is how I'm feeling now, And I would have never known that. And yeah, nobody wants to go their babies entire infancy or toddlerhood like feeling like that. Nobody has to um so I'm so thankful that you were like honest about that, and I can you know, having raised that baby unmedicated and non medicated, it's much better because it's so hard.

It's the hardest thing you'll ever ever do. Yeah. I went to I got my master's degree while I was working full time and going to school full time. Raising babies is harder. You know, there's just that it's it's different, it's a different utilization of your skill set. But don't do it suffering from depression. And what I would say to people who are currently pregnant um is sometimes possible to start taking a low dose of an S s

R I before you give birth. And I really wish I had done that and known that because I was so anxious around my seconds birth and I was so I mean, I was just crying in the hospital before she was born. I'm so anxious. So I wish that I had, you know, kind of had that that understanding at that time. So if you talk to your obe nails, see if there's something that you could take. Yeah, a lot of these things are safe with pregnancy and breastfeeding.

I think it's such a great conversation for us to have particularly in this frugal community, because I think a lot of us might approach well we we approach any topic from a problem solving d I y how can I save the most amount of money in this situation. We also talk about how frugality can help us live the life that we want to live and to save up and prioritize and be able to spend the time on what we want to spend time on. But still there can be this deep rooted let's do it ourselves,

don't pay someone else to do it mentality. So I think this is so good to even hear from you, Liz, Thanks for sharing and breaking down this stigma to say this is one of those things that falls under the priority part of Yes, spend money on this because it leads to well being, It leads to better family relationships, It leads to a better sense of self that it leads into. It makes you more capable of doing those other things in life of the problem solving the d I y ng. But this is not an area that

you would want to compromise on. That's not to say that there aren't frugal things in the midst of that that you could do. You know, ways to get your prescriptions at a lower cost, or therapy at a lower cost. But this is of high, high importance and comes into priority whether you're frugal or not. So yeah, thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it. And I just one

more thing on that. You know, if you have a baby and you're listening to this and you're like, I can't get out of the house, can't get to the doctor because I don't have maybe to watch the baby, just take the baby to the doctor, you know, I just I can't emphasize this enough. I know people who have not gone to the dentist for three years because they don't have child care. Just take them with you.

You know, it's not the end of the world. It may not be the most ideal doctor's appointment ever, but trust me that they've had babies in the office before, so don't let that be kind of the barrier to you. Yeah, thank you. Wow, that was great. Let's transition into something a little lighter, and I think it's Yeah, it's that it's time for that time of the week. It's it's a fun time of the week. Yes, yes, it's time for the bill of a week. That's right, it's time

for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. That's bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week, all right, Liz. Every week we have a listener call in and give us their favorite bill, whether that's lowercase or upper case whatever. We leave it vague

for a reason. And so as a guest on our show, we'd love to invite you to share your favorite bill. What do you have for us? I think right now I have to go with the duck bill. We have this book that was a hand me down, thank you very much. That quacks. It's about ducks and you push up o. My God, and my kids, both of them, I don't. I mean, they just like, absolutely adore. It's not loud, but it's just this little quacking sound and it's all be in the other room and I just

hear the ball. Yes, that's great. That is. Duck bills are Jill's favorite kind of bills a week, actually, so I do like them. They're unexpected. Yes, So if you have a duck bill or any other kind of bill that you want to share with us, Please visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill and leave us a Google voicemail or speak pipe and uh and we'll play your bill. And if it quacks, even better, So especially if you have recordings of the quacks, we'd love to

hear that too. We love it. We're entertained by it too. Yes, all right, it's time for Jill's second favorite time of the week. The lightning round. To the lightning round. It really means nothing other than I like saying lightning. There is literally no pressure to it. It's not yeah, it's I calling it a lightning round for so long, and then I would label it different things in the outline and Jill would still call it the lightning round anyway. So I just started labeling it. I don't even know

why I did it. I just felt right, even though there's nothing that would make it be a lightning round. It's just shorter than the last segment. It's just shorter than the last segment, and I like saying it. Yeah. So there's so first question, baby, freebie or deal you are most proud of getting. Probably it's like the large ticket stuff so like crib, changing table, baby carrier, hi chair. I love that I was able to get all those things.

You got all those for free? Those are from friends whose because we're older and they wanted them out of their house. Yes, I've gotten crib and bassinet for free. Nice. Yeah, that's great. Yeah did it come with the mattress? So the pre match actually got a crime match for eighteen dollars. It was an online return at Target. Nice. You're like, you are so set and you do need more than one sheet. I'm just gonna tell you right now. People have given me a lot of sheets from the buy

nothing group. Perfect, but I still need more. I mean it does on how often you do launch. Not often. Oh, they get so much fluid all kinds of believe it's unbelievable. But it's a state like over time it abates, you know, my like my three year old, I mean I changed her sheet once a week, just like everybody else's. It slows down. Nice. Yeah, I find it. Also, Speaking of the resources that we're talking about earlier, what are let's say, the top three books that you would recommend for new

moms to be read. Love this topic that I cannot emphasize this enough, it's free, it's easy read these books. So heading home with your newborn from birth to reality. This is staying very straightforward. It's written by pediatricians. Um a really easy way to understand how to care for an infant and safely. It's very helpful for people who have not been around infants recently, which was my case when I had one of so that that is really helpful.

Read that before the kids come. Okay, solve your child's sleep problems. I read this one also before our kids were born, and that really helped my husband and I to create, like what kind of culture we were going to have around sleep. There are a lot of different ways to do sleep. There's co sleeping, there's sleeping in different rooms, there's sleeping hammocks. My friend's son sleeps in a hammock anyway, so there's there are a million different

ways to do sleep. I think it can be really helpful if you and your partner have a have a really honest conversation about what you're comfortable with ahead of time. I don't think people realize quite how hot button that can be when you are both just absolutely exhausted. So that's a good one to read. Ahead of time. And then thirdly, I would recommend Simplicity Parenting, and he's got both the Simplicity Parenting Book in general and then the

Simplicity Parenting Discipline Book. You're not going to use those with a newborn. But for my husband and I that sort of like forms the ethos of how we parents. It's like the lens through which we see all of our parenting decisions, and it helps us to be on the same page, to have a plan, and to be really consistent and firm with our kids. That's awesome, And I will share links of these in our show notes for anyone listening. You'll be able to have access to it.

But find it in the library Petersburg Library. Don't even try because I've already researched them. Know, I had one book from the library for so long I had to pay like so many fines on it. It's like, why don't just buy this pregnancition week by week or something. Anyway, I've done that with a few books. It's like, a don't I feel like it's a donation to my library for all the other books? Return to feel good about

it tax right off? Yeah, maybe I don't know, Well, Litz, thanks so much for coming on what's happening at Frugal Woods blog and with your we're reading your book for book club this month, so everyone should already be reading that. But yeah, what's going on the blog. So over the blog, we have new posts every week unless my kids totally fall apart, but usually it is mostly I have to say I'm pretty happy about that. And also on Frugal Woods, I have my Uber Frugal Month Challenge, which is a

free thirty one day program. It will help you save money whether you have a kid or not, and you can sign up to take that at any time. You can also follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. It's all at Frugal Woods. Yes, and I've taken the Uber Frugal Month Challenge. It's great to email every day for a month and a lot of helpful to so definitely

check it out. Liz, yours was the very first article that we referenced on our Frugal Friends episode one, so there's some there's some history here for us, so we've appreciated having you on all your good wisdom and tips. It's fantastic my pleasure. This was definitely as awesome as I thought it was going to be everyone else done that too. Liz just really hit us with a ton

of tips. I'm honest when I say that I would probably listen to this again if I was going to have a kid, because there's so much good meat in there that Yeah, she's done this, so that's something. Right. She has two kids, so that helps with her you know, resume. But also she she's so good on this topic and has some really good, profound insight on how to like meet our needs without breaking the bank. So just fantastic,

and she's so level headed about it. I love because even I haven't even had a kid yet and I am hearing things from like parents and not parents, just like on all the things that I should do, And just to hear like a clear, level headed um chat with her is just so refreshing. Yeah, seriously, I didn't expect the freedom she was going to give on like whatever, just eat eat food. Yeah, anybody that tells me to eat food is my friend. Seriously, it's a great thing

to hear. And so that's why we're so stoked. We are reading Meet the Frugal Woods by LISZT. Thames. We love that book and I didn't even get to tell Liz she's the reason I don't want makeup anymore. I forgot to mention, Well, maybe if she listens to this, she'll know now. Thanks Liza, thank you going on Natural one woman at a time. Yes, going on Natural looks good on you though, Jen, thank you. Yeah so we are continuing to read that book. Yeah, so get in

on it. And if you want a free copy of this amazing book by this amazing woman who you just got to hear talk in your ears, leave us a review on iTunes or Stitcher. Screenshot the review and send it to us at Frugal Friends Podcast at gmail dot com, and we will select the winners at the end of the month. We give away one book to every five for every five reviews that gets sent to us. So the stakes, you know, the odds are pretty good that you if you do that, you might be getting yourself

this book by Liz. Yes, you have a one in five chance. That's good. I mean, I'm no mathematician, but like, yeah so. And if you want an example of a really great review, we're gonna We're gonna highlight a great review for you. It's five stars. It has all the makings of a good review because it has fine stars. Yes, and it is from Bonnie, and she says, Ladies, I love your podcast. I mean I binge listen to them just so that I could be all caught up in

like a couple of weeks. You know, I had to work, sleep and other frugal fund in between. You spark great conversations for me to have. I love how you talk about your husband's and how they perceive frugality. Your podcast totally helped me start twenty nineteen off with my own no spend year. Yes, thank you, Kate Flanders. I love the balance you showed frugality. The tips and tricks you give are awesome. Keep up the amazing work. Oh my gosh,

I love the voice that to Jen. I feel like that's the voice she was using, So that's what I had to do. But fantastic. Thank you so much, Bonnie. Thanks Bonnie. I'm glad to talk about my husband. I'm glad it's and holy smokes that you are going to do a no spend year, because go for it and keep us updated in our Frugal Friends Facebook community, Yes, Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash group and come chat

with us. Tell us you're amazing stories and what you're doing to be frugal and until then, see you next week by Easy Frugal Friends. Is produced, edited and mixed by Eric Syrian. Oh my gosh, do you remember in the first episode where I referred to Liz as like the godmother of frugality or like you referred to her as so many things, god mother, goddess, the queen, um what other things are? They're like you, the mother, the woman on top, the woman all the way up there

knowing all this stuff. No, you, You've used so many words, and they're all so extreme and intense, but they place such high honor and value and respect me on Liz and her work. Okay, are you afraid to have this recorded? Like? It's true? But I don't want to admit it. I just like her a lot too. Jen. You know, I have never used the word goddess, but I've never used the word either. Don't deny it. Just given. If you

can't beat them, join them, That's what I he say. Okay, it works out for me, all right, I'm glad you got to interact with the Goddess today. To your face, those are daggers. I probably shouldn't mess with a pregnant woman. Actually it's a good thing though, that we do live a couple hundred miles apart, I know, right, or I just won't open mail from you. I would never. I would never, You would never, Okay,