Breaking the Cycle of Poverty | Stop Living Below The Poverty Line

don't want to be the one to do it. But here we are doing this, here we find ourselves doing an addressing a very complicated topic. So there are so many caveats we can make are about to make. Bear with us. This is one fifty minute episode on a really complicated topic, and so I want to acknowledge at the start here that poverty, issues of poverty, intersect with so,

so much. To name a few. Poverty intersects with national history, family history, systemic racism, mental health concerns, substance use, addiction, family cycles, educational background, circumstances outside of our control, privilege or lack thereof, and that's not even an exhaustive list. So obviously, with this episode we cannot address all of those things. We know that the reason people find themselves

in poverty is not one size fits all. There's not one reason we can point to, there's not once a motion we can point to, and for some it is more difficult to get out of than others. And Jenn and I recognize that we are not the best voice for all people, like there are some who find us helpful, some who don't, and thank goodness that there are plenty of people in the space seeking to help others with finances.

So I also want to say that if you listen to this episode or other episodes and you don't find your voice represented, it doesn't feel helpful or useful to you, then we might not be your platform and hopefully we've at least introduced some voices that might be helpful. Otherwise, keep searching, like just because we might not be the best most useful doesn't mean that it's not out there,

it doesn't exist. So so so there's just so many things that I want to say about this, this issue, but also recognize that I am still going to come from my own perspective as a middle class Caucasian married female without kids who grew up in the suburbs like I can't get away from that reality. For me, I'm learning and growing and hopefully my mental health background and the way that I have cared for others in the past can help to inform some of this. But again

that this is who's talking to you. So if if that's not if this perspective isn't even going to be helpful then this, then take that into consideration as well. But again it intersects with so much and so we're we're addressing what's within our control. There's so much outside of our control, and that's not to diminish those pieces that list I just rattled off again that's not exhaustive. Is Very real and needs addressing on micro, Meso macro levels.

But for where we're at today, for this episode, is what can we do, what's withinside of our control? If we find ourselves in this place, living at or below the poverty line, is there any tangible things that we can do to address that? That's where we're going to try and go with this episode. But again there's no there's no magic here. And then there's nothing exhaustive with this episode. Yeah, we're doing this episode for two reasons.

The first is that we've gotten enough emails over the years requesting that we do more episodes for people living around or below the poverty line, and so our goal with the show isn't too help people live at or below the poverty line, it's to help people control their spending in whatever way that looks like for them. And there are things that contribute to poverty that are outside the scope of that that we are not experts in

and may not be able to be experts in. And the second reason is because, when doing research to like send something to these people, it's hard for me to find something that I am comfortable sending. It's either people saying how stacked the deck is against people in poverty and just complaining about it, or it is privileged, usually wealthy, financial advisor Caucasian people saying how what's the solution to poverty,

usually at a macro level. So there's not something like if I was living in minimum which, and and I look at this, if I'm a single mom with kids in and out of jobs because I can't afford childcare and and my kids need somebody to watch them, maybe I am supporting a family member as well because of this Um this cycle of of poverty the cycle of lifestyle. And if I if I'm in that situation and I'm looking for a podcast to be like, where do I start?

How do I even yet to the place where I can start thinking about saving and spending based on my values? There is nothing. There is nothing there and we are not the best people to do that, but we could be the first people, at least on Apple podcasts. So that's where we are. M So, if that's you, if you're in that situation listening to this, we just want to cover things that will be of use to you.

It is not an all encompassing this. We will not offer a solution to poverty or tips for cutting your grocery expenses so far that you can live at the poverty line. That is not what this episode is going to be. Well, I'm glad we're here and I'm glad you showed up, John, and didn't make a last minute change in this because, financially speaking, I was below the poverty line not that long ago. I know that many people.

If you follow this podcast for a while, you you know that, and my goal was not to stay there and thankfully I am no longer there. But again, that's only financially speaking, I recognized that I had resources in other regards that would keep me from becoming without a home, without food, but I can commiserate to some level what it feels like to be so strapped for for cash, for financial resource, and what that can do to someone emotionally,

mentally and beyond that. I have many friends and clients who live at or below the poverty line. So I'm I am glad to be doing this and I think just a heart felt, empathetic care and concern for those who find themselves in this place. So I do want those of you listening to to feel that reality, but also our our withness and our support to not stay in that place, if that's what you desire, if you

desire to find yourself in a different place years from now. Yeah, hopefully we can help to provide some of the tangible tools for that to be a reality, not neglecting the fact that there are a lot of other circumstances outside of our control, but let's focus on what's inside of our control for the sake of this time together. And before we get to those things, let's hear a word from our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by beach balls. Today's episode is heavy, so we invited an

airy sponsor to lighten up the mood. Get it. Are you at an event where all the attendees are falling asleep in their chairs? throwout some beach balls. Kids throwing heavy objects at your valuables. Replace all their toys with beach balls. Every single one going to the beach maybe bring a volleyball or an inner tube or something, because

beach balls are actually pretty impractical for the beach. We're giving our frugal friends members at our patreon bumper stickers this month, so maybe you go to frugal friends podcast dot com, slash patreon and get a bumper sticker and bring that to the beach. I don't know. Beach Balls. They're not the solution to everything, but they're the solution to more than you think. I have beach balls around my house. You do for the solution from the party. It is the Tory I give to kids because they

can't break much with them. Amen. So there are some good episodes that you can queue up after this uh, if you are are interested in some of the topics that we talked about today. Thank you for bearing with us through the longest introduction that we've ever done in the history of the show. So we've got episode two twenty three, how to design and afford your Dream Life, and then we also have episode one, Thirty Nine, money

mindset shifts. We all need to work on. So, and I think we just did a there might be a more recent version of that. Actually, I think we did that as a rerun. But yeah, these are some good ones to queue up. And so we're breaking this up into two parts. Obviously we're going through two articles. Um, the first one are things, I'm calling them things to lay down, and the second part is things to pick up, and so you might get might better understand that once

we go through the articles. But the first article is six sacrifices you need to make to escape poverty. Among the many sacrifices you're already making, here are six more. Yeah, I do. I ultimately I do like the article. I think that they give some helpful tips, but I that word sacrifice makes you uncomfortable because if you're finding yourself in poverty, you know sacrifice, you know difficulty and you know suffering. So I prefer what you're describing and things

to lay down, things to look at, things to consider. Yeah, and so the first one on here is our mentality. When we find ourselves in a place of poverty, there can be, and I can speak to this from personal experience, a poor mentality almost taken on as an identity. I know I did this, so again I'm going to speak from my own personal how I approached this, and I think I've talked about this before on the show, almost wearing it as a badge of honor, like I'm poor

and how low can I get? And I don't have all the resources you have, and yet look at what I'm able to accomplish and and there's some pride that can be taken in resourcefulness. But I think sometimes that mentality can go so far that, when it becomes so a part of our identity, it can keep us from experiencing a different reality in ways that we might not even be aware of. The author gives this example of how, growing up, one of her dad's favorite statements was the

rich or never happy. They have so much money but they're not happy. I'm happier than the rich because I'm poor, and we can kind of see how that can blend into a lot of other areas and I can so resonate with this like we can take on these different statements to support where we find ourselves in, and that's

a coping mechanism. For sure. Some of it can be helpful to sustain in the lifestyle that we find ourselves in, but I think we also have to look at in what ways are some of those statements, those identity pieces, those mantras, keeping us, holding us back from what we might be able to see differently for our future? Yeah, and the idea like. So I highly recommend listening to our episode on on mindset, because it's not a like a woo woo thing. It's not manifesting whatever that it is.

It's extremely really relevant to to avoiding these self fulfilling prophecies that we create for ourselves, because I know when I was making thirty five grand a year, I would I'm I I told myself, like and and Jill, I know you did the same thing. I am in a profession that doesn't pay well. This is all I'm capable of. If I were to change, it would be so big I could never like I don't know where to start. I don't know how. There's just no comprehension of changing

the way I was living. So I and I know so many people, turned to frugality because they're in that place. They're like, I can't change my income bracket, so I need to just cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, but there's only so much that can be cut. Eventually you have to to change your mindset to say like, I don't have to make big changes, I can just make small changes, and those, the magnitude of your changes, can change based

on your season. Two. So just because somebody made a change and we're able to make a change in their season, you may be in a different season, you may not be able to make that change, and you not being able to make that change does not reflect on your capabilities, it is a reflection of your season. So second on this first one is to change your environment, and I do I know that that has a huge impact on mindset.

And they say, for instance, if your dream business has no hope of flourishing, and your they say home village. I would say, I don't know, in your environment, if the people you're surrounding yourself with, because we say cycle of poverty, and it really is a cycle, because it is really compounded by the people you have around you. It's really hard to surround yourself with new people and

different people. It's so comfortable to stay in the family cycles, especially if you're supporting a parent or other family member. It's much more comfortable and easy to stay in those circles and they will perpetuate the mindset. But we have to make small changes to change the environment, to change

the people, and I think it starts with the people. Honestly, like looking for people who are doing more and living more of a lifestyle that you'd like to live and you are good enough to hang out with those people. You are good enough. Sometimes it can can feel like, and I've experienced this impost syndrome in business, because I never knew anybody, any business owners. I never knew anybody

started business growing up. I'm literally the first person I met for my childhood like with the business as I know it. So like I didn't know how it goes, and so I thought that other people that had well established businesses they were too good for me, like I couldn't, I wasn't on their level, I couldn't, you know, commune with them. Totally false, absolutely false. Uh. That's a mindset I had to break and once I was able to like spend time with those people. They mentor me so

well and have helped me so much. So, yeah, those very much not easy, very uncomfortable, extremely worth it. The second one is to sacrifice, sacrifice your free time. The second part of each sentence is much better than the first. So learn to manage your time like a pro Um. And they say time is money. This phrase is more than just a snappy aphorism, it's the truth. I just

like the word aphorism. But yeah, so a lot of the times we will spend and people do this across the game it, no matter how much money you have, spending time on things that kind of are like busy work for adults, and really looking at our commitments, where we want to be, what's best for our children and our futures, and really focusing on doing those things and saying no to as much out of possible, as much other stuff as possible, like saying no first and then

only saying yes to the things that are like good for you, and that includes self care, because we all get twenty four hours a day. You get no more, and eight of those need to be sleeping hours. So yeah, I really, I really appreciate this one. The next one, I'm not even gonna read off the sacrifice portions of each one of these. We're just going to move on to what they say. The third one is talking about

working hard and working smart. I think someone who has their sights on no longer living out or below the poverty line. You've got the grit, you you know how to work hard. It's a matter of learning how to pair it with what's going to be most effective and the most efficient use of my time, skill set and energy,

and I want to address this at this point. So many things to say and I know I'm not gonna be able to fit it all in, but if you if we are living out or below the poverty line, chances are we are in survival mode, meaning that hyper vigilance, that fight, fight freeze response is consistently at the ready trying to make decisions for survival in the moment, whether or not we're fully aware of it. But a lot

of times decisions that are made are short term. oftentimes they may not be the long term because we don't have what we need to consider the long term if

we're living at or below the poverty line. And so this is a really important piece to address and to consider here and it is related to mindset, but I think it's also related to the care and the community that we need to have around us, and particularly if we're a person who has experienced trauma, it's going to make it more difficult for us to even be able

to implement some of these things. And so I think addressing some of those pieces simultaneously or before we're able to even implement on some of these things of what's the best decision to make with my career or job path, or how do I make the most of my time,

energy and attention? If we're experiencing a lot of roadblocks there, it's very possible that there are trauma experiences that are interrupting this, that there are survival coping mechanisms that are interrupting this, and so this might be a reason that it has made it difficult to future think, to consider what's going to be the most efficient use of my time. Sometimes we just okay, what, what? What's the job that's gonna make me money, that's gonna buy me dinner tonight?

What's the job that's gonna make me money that's gonna pay my rent this month? That makes sense. It's that that is that's okay, but there's gonna be some deeper things that are going to need to be a dre us. I just want to weave that in here, because there are some survival instincts that are probably at play here.

So addressing those, finding someone trusted that you can talk to, getting help from a mental health professional could help if those are some of the barriers that you're experiencing, but as you're able to kind of knock each one of those down one at a time, to consider what's the best use of my time in a way that's not just short term thinking but also long term thinking, and that could be what excites me most when I'm doing the jobs that I'm doing, what feels most fulfilling, rather

than just kind of approaching work and making money like one of those Arcade Games. What's the we talked about this, the whack, whack the moll, whack them all. Sometimes when we're in a cycle of poverty, that can be how we approach money making. And so the challenge here is, okay, how could I approach it differently? That's not just okay. How can I just get quick money here there? The other way to to pay my bills? That's good, but

to get out of that cycle. What's going to be the best, most efficient use, and sometimes we're gonna need a community around us to help us think in that way. But investing in ourselves and investing in the things that we actually really enjoy to be able to grow something larger than just paycheck to paycheck. Yeah, I don't really

understand what the article authors trying to say here. abody understand what you're saying, like giving yourself space to really reflect on why you have the money mindset you do, why you are earning money in the way that you are, and brainstorming alternatives and getting getting creative, which is what we say with frugality. Frugality is not a race to the bottom, it's not a race to see how little

can I spend. It's giving yourself space to to get creative and I think is working smart is giving yourself that space to do that work. So I very much more like what you said than what this article is saying. So the next one is to spend less, save and invest, and so this is kind of like a like a

next step. I think you need to you need to have these foundational pieces of mindset and working learning how to kind of work through trauma, and not even just trauma, but just the way you're used to doing things, the way your family is used to doing things, and finding new ways and building up yourself confidence in your barriers to be able to push back against the pushback you're going to get for changing, because people around you may not like that you're looking to change because they're not

looking to change. That's another reason, like changing your environment, changing your friends, is so important to to be surrounded by people that are looking to improve themselves. You have to build up that muscle that can take criticism and push back. And then once you're starting to build up these skills, then we start thinking about how can we spend less, how can we save, and then eventually, how

can we invest? But that's that's a process and it's definitely we have over two hundred other episodes that can help you with those. That's not necessarily what this episode is about, but it is a tri trifecta of the spending less, the saving and investing. But you can take them in small steps and you don't have to worry about them right now. It's not an issue, in my observation, for people who find themselves in this situation of like

not being scrappy or sourceful. It's the how to get over that Hump and actually have some reserve money to be able to not just live, not even just paycheck to paycheck, but pay rent and not be concerned about where the next meal is coming from. And and so then the next one is talking about focusing on victories again, talking about in some ways they're they're leaning towards don't pay attention to your emotions, and I would push back on that and I appreciate the second portion of this,

that the focusing on the victories. I think that that is going to be important, celebrating along the way, looking at what you're doing well, but I think that a big portion of this is going to be looking at our mentality, our emotions, what's happening inside of us. Are Experiences and what needs to shift in order to find ourselves in a different place, in a different reality with

our money. I think we do have to take some deep dives emotionally relationally to be able to move forward, to keep to interrupt the cycle that has been we've got to understand ourselves more. We've got to be curious with ourselves more, investing in ourselves more celebrating our getting giving so much grace and freedom because of the sacrifices that are going to need, that have been made and continued to be made here, Um, and and making sure that we're able to celebrate along the way, no matter

how small. Yeah, one of the aspects of a growth mindset is to see challenges as opportunities for growth, and so living around the poverty line, not having a lot of money, you're going to see a lot of challenges. So you're going to see a lot of opportunities for growth, way more, uh than a lot of other people. And it's okay to feel like it sucks, like it's okay to be mad, but also, in the midst of the anger and the sadness, also look for what you can

learn from it. It's not saying like don't acknowledge your emotions, feel them and also look for how you can grow. Just add it on top. So the last one here is don't let certificates determine your worth. So the writer who now at the very end I can see, is from Kenya, and that's why they're using the word village. Um. Said, Um, they had a friend that graduated from college got their degree to be an actuary, set out tons of resumes and received no job offers, and so she decided enough

was enough. She's going to take matter in your own hands. And she said today she owns one of the biggest furniture shops in Nairobi. And so the author, and this is this reminds me of our interview with led APP who received tons, had had like a lot of experience and got tons of Um rejections when she was applying for for a job Um and she was a single mom,

she was back living with her parents. There's like she was in this kind of place where this ideal listener, or a listener who I'm thinking of when when we're giving this when we're reading these articles, and and she said enough was enough, and so she started her own business. She all of her she used all of her experience and just started posting things online to see what resonated with people, and then, when she found what resonated with people, she expounded on that in an e book and started

selling it. And that's and so she took matters in newrons and now she has a seven figure business teaching people how to do what she has her experience in, and so I think we get tied up in having to conform to the traditional nine to five and the sational nine five is great if you can find a job that you love, but you don't have to conform. If the cards are stacked against you, you can go a different way. And I'll also caveats that. Ellie didn't spend a lot of money to start her business. She

didn't sink ten twenty grand into something. She didn't sign on with an MLM like she did. That she was scrappy and if you're willing to be scrappy, you can do something different. You don't have to let what you thought you were supposed to do dictate what you will do, and that doesn't mean knowing everything or being an expert

on everything. Right. I think the people who I have seen be the most scrappy is knowing how to use the resources around you, the tangible resources, the people resources, and talk to people who are maybe living a lifestyle that you want to be living, see if there's anything that you can learn from them, any offerings they have for you, and just keep investing in yourself in that way, from conversations with others in your community to listening to

podcast to reading books, there are many ways to invest in ourselves that doesn't cost money. Yeah, so those were the things to lay down and now we're going to transition to some things to pick up on your already heavy plate. So, no, this is not a list of things to add to your plate. This is a list of things to essentially just pick up in your lifestyle, in your mindset. Yeah, you'll get it when we go over the article. It's seven tips for breaking the cycle

of poverty. Yeah, I love it. Let's get into it. So the first one is to educate yourself, and there has been a big movement online for online education, people selling courses on literally everything, and I can tell you that everything that you can buy for hundreds of dollars online you can find in a book from the Library

for Free. I absolutely guarantee you, because I know, at least in the finance at least in the finance world, because I know I know who they are, I know what they're saying, I know you know you're you're actually paying for like group coaching things with them and like q and aise and stuff, which is why, like, we

don't sell the course. We we just offer like either on our Patreon, you get a bonus episode and pine the scenes, or in our challenge membership, you get a challenge and a monthly money party with us and accountability groups like that's that's what we offer, because you can get all the information in books for free and you don't have to read them. You can get them in

audio books. Leaders and successful people are voracious readers, they really are, and so educating your yourself on, they say, basic financial literacy, how credit works, your options when it comes to financial products and institutions and your rights when it comes to banking and financial products. I think if I had to recommend a book to start with, Um, I will teach you to be rich by Ramit Setti is my number one pick for a book to like

start with, and that is definitely available for free. It's on audible, it's not. It's for free at the library. It's around, so it's a very popular book. Number two. You knew it was coming. Change your mindset towards money,

and I will affirm this. I know that it sounds so hard to actually grasp, but I do love that they give some actual questions to be pondering, possibly even journaling about, and they reference a quote from Bulascunbi, from clever girl finance, who talks about improving your personal finances and achieving financial wellness is skill and behavior and mindset, and I could not agree more from my own personal experience and from what I witness and observe and other people.

For many low income earners and those who find themselves in a cycle of poverty, it's the money habits of parents, lessons that are deeply ingrained and strongly influence attitudes towards money, and so this is another really fantastic place to start is consider asking yourself these questions. How were you raised with money? What money habits do you have you inherited from those who raised you? How did they handle money? What triggers you to spend money? Is it a raise?

Is it a sale? What are your current money beliefs? What do you believe about money? Where do your attitudes towards it? How much do you own outright? How much money do you owe? What small steps can you take now start changing these beliefs for the better? We are not going to see significant changes in our circumstances unless we take a look at some of these deeply rooted things again. Behaviors are what come last. Thoughts and emotions, attitudes, beliefs,

that's what comes first. The behaviors are what flows out of what happens in our mind, and so it is going to take some of that work, some of that pondering, before we see changes in our circumstances. Yeah, I like this quote from Sharia Humphrey. You're not poor, she says, you're just in a lower wealth status. That is a fun way to view it. You're just in a lower wealth status. And the article expounds like when you think about your financial situation is temporary, you start to understand

it's something you can change. But when all you see around you is people in your same financial situation, it can seem like the poor get poorer and the rich get richer. And that's not a lie. They do. But when you start to better understand how the rich get richer, then you can um, increase your wealth status just like

they do. They capitalize on the fact that lower income people do not believe that they can change and they capitalize that fact and they market and they just get lower income people to pay to buy more stuff to make them richer. Um. But when you start to understand the system and identify the tactics that you're they're using. Then you can start to reject them and not be manipulated by them and increase your wealth status. And it

is harder for some people than for other people. Like I'm not going to deny that I think that it is harder for some people to get out of financial difficulty than it was for me. I think it's easier for some people to get out of financial difficulty than it was for me. Right we're all somewhere on that spectrum. But at the end of the day, if we're speaking to individuals, that mindset is only going to help us

so far. Understanding and acknowledging difficulty it's useful, but if we're actually going to see differences, it's not gonna be ultimately helpful for us to focus on how difficult it is. It's gonna be more in our favor to look at what is within my control and what can I do about that. The third is to leverage community resources and I would say, federal resources as well, and this is going to be the actual things that Um can help

you change your socioeconomic status. So looking for grants for community college or free options online there are so many companies now that are offering education online free or with scholarships, that are teaching really high level skills that have really great income potential that you could get for a couple of thousand dollars or possibly free. Those resources are out there and looking for them, like I know Google has a whole suite of education that teaches their most needed positions.

Um salesforce is a crm. Like, if you have access to a computer, you can figure out how to manage Um, this customer relationship management software for companies, and you can make six figures a year and all of that education is free. SALESFORCE OFFERS UM those education tracks for free. So there are resources online that you can use. Hold Up, when we originally recorded this episode, we could not find a resource that compiled all of the federal, state, local

and various nonprofit opportunities that are available. But in the weeks since recording we have actually found something from the National Council for financial opportunities and it's called the opportunity finder. The Opportunity Finder allows you to put in some very simple facts about your situation and it can help you find resources for education, healthcare, jobs, income, whatever is available to you and your situation and location. It can help

you find it. So again, this is called the opportunity finder and you'll be able to find it very soon at opportunity knocks dot net. And this is actually in conjunction with a new PBS program from the National Council for financial opportunities called Opportunity knocks, where financial counselors and coaches help families through financial difficulties using the opportunity finders.

So again, head to opportunity knocks dot net to find the opportunity finder and check out opportunity knocks on pbs when it premiers very soon. And then it's it's figuring out Um, like grants and waivers and stuff, Um for childcare, Um, so that you actually have the time to take these classes. Um, leveraging, so maybe you watch somebody else's kids with yours one day so they watch your kids another day so that

you have time to do this stuff. So it's getting creative and leveraging not just the community, like nonprofit organizations and stuff, and federal resources, but getting creative with how you leverage community resources and the resources around you so that you can actually take action on this stuff, because that's the hardest part. But there's there are just nonprofits, there are public libraries and schools, um their churches and

community centers. All all of them offer something different and you can try. I know the Y M C a kind of offers like free gym memberships to certain people and they have childcare and I once when I had a y membership, I was like, I wonder if I could just put my kid in childcare and then do some work, like in the locker room, because you just have to be on site. So it's like getting creative with stuff like getting scrappy Um and utilizing the resources.

You have to take action as a stepping stone. Yeah, not necessarily as a place that we set up tent, but a stepping stone. Number four on here avoid predatory payday lending and, of course, getting out of the cycle. That's going to take some some work and some effort for sure, but pay day lending charges so much interest where you could be paying that loan for years to come.

They reference to study where about twelve million Americans use payday loans every year and spend an average of five twenty dollars in fees to borrow just three hundred seventy five dollars. As you can see, that math doesn't add up. Of course, the reasons for utilizing payday loans at cash advances is an emergency need for that money, often times, maybe having poor credit or no credit and not having accessibility to lower interest loans, lack of awareness about other options.

So there's very relevant and understandable reasons for utitilizing payday loans. But if you can avoid them, find ways to avoid them, you are going to find yourself of breaking that cycle of poverty because payday loans, the high interest rates on them, the fees on them, those are the types of scenarios that are going to keep someone trapped in that cycle.

Borrowing against these high interest loans and never having the ability to pay them back is what keeps people down and it is predatory and it is super angering the best, the lowest hanging fruit here, and getting out of this cycle is going to be focusing on building credit so that you have access to lower interest loans and then eventually finding yourself in a place where you don't have loans at all, of course, step by step by step,

but simple ways of building credit, even connecting, you know, paying a cell phone bill to your credit score. Yeah, finding ways to build your credit is going to be helpful and not needing to have access to those payday loans. Yes, so you can either. Um, there are several ways to do this. Um, if you have a landlord that is kind of like an individual, mom and pop landlord, you

can maybe ask them to use STESSA. Um. STESSA is one option to accept your rent payment and that rent payment will be reported back to your credit score and, Um, to your credit report, and that will build your credit. Another way is to get a secured credit card, and this is a credit card that's kind of like a like a gift card almost. You load money onto it and you can all your credit limit is the money that you have given to the bank, and so that and you know, it would be the same as a

debit card, but this builds your credit. So those are the two easiest ways to start building better credit, Um, so that you can get so even if you're not using paid a lending if you need to build your credit, because eventually you will need it to get better. It's on a car mortgage. Those are the two best ways

to start. Next is to ask someone you trust. So talking with money talking about money with people again finding I think the best way, the fastest way, to act on the things that we're saying is to build your network of people who are already living the life that you want to live and like that can be Um. You can start with following people on instagram that are living the life you want to live. And I'm not talking about people sitting in front of Porsches or big

mansions or whatever. Those people are fake, those cars are rented. I'm talking about people who are investing, who are saving, who are paying off debt, people that are being financially responsible, that have money to be financially responsible. So that you can start there. But you need people in your life

that you can talk about money too. So whether it is a manager at your job or, Um, a manager somewhere else, meetup dot com has like networking, you know, meetups on all kinds of different topics that are you know that are free to attend Um, heading to those and just kind of like creating relationships with people there, just getting outside of your regular network. So you can

find people to talk about money with. And this this ums to be really easy in the in the blog of sphere, when when financial blogs were really easy and you could like talk to people on the blog. But, um, they give some really good names here of people you can read. They won't necessarily right back, but Um, so bola from clever girl finance, she has she has three books, soon to be four, um, that are all fantastic. It's the clever girl finance series. Um Tiffany, the budget nista,

also has a fantastic book. Um Lacy, the military money expert, sharia, Humphrey Robert from the college investor. He's more when you're in the investing side. But I know all of these people that they are all fantastic. But yeah, find people that you can trust and and talk to them about money. Yes, I can't highlight that one enough. And then number six. They talk about focusing on your credit. So, no, we

just talked about this. Jen gave some excellent resources. Will have them in our show notes, of ways that you can begin to build credit if you've got low credit or no credit, even on things that you're already doing. There are ways to connect your your bills and your rent and and even get a credit card in in a way that might be feasible for you if you've got low credit. No credit, but that's going to be a massive way that you're going to be able to

see a shift in your financial circumstances. And then the last one is to don't be afraid to walk a way, and this is a recom I mean this is for everyone. If you have a bad feeling about a financial product, institution, Um, person at the bank, financial advisor, if something doesn't sound right, it's not you, it's them. They profit from your inexperience with the financial sector. And if you feel weird, it's not you, it's them. So don't be afraid to walk away.

You need to be able to ask questions. They need to be able to answer it in a way you understand and not make you feel dumb. It's their job. If they don't do that, walk away. There is just so much to be said for how gate kept financial services are, and that's not an illusion, that's a fact, um, but it's not everybody and it's not everywhere. So you don't have to say like, Oh, everywhere is they're gonna make me feel stupid everywhere, so I'll just, you know,

be here. No, it's not everyone, but it is in existence. So don't be afraid to walk away. Choose another bank, UM, choose another financial advisor, go get your loan from somewhere else. Don't be afraid to do that. Yes, mm HMM. You know what else? We don't need to be afraid to do? That we will always explain. Well, the week. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.

Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Tough Bill, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton, this is the bill of the week. Hi, den and Jill, my name is Sarah. I'm a longtime listener, first time caller, Um, and this

week my wife and I bought our first house. Um. We have lived in nine different places in the last eight years, including a lot of situations like our last one, where it was a house that we were renting and we moved in and after five months of living there, the owner decided to sell the house and not rent anymore,

so we had to leave at the last minute. Um. And it's been a lot of things like that and I can't even imagine the amount of money that we have spent on changing apartments and all the different fees and pet rent and crazy stuff, and I'm so happy now to have a mortgage that's going to be consistent and we will be paying extra onto that because we will be way cheaper than the rent that we've been paying in Atlanta, a very high cost of living area.

So I'm so excited to have a mortgage. Probably the obvious person in the world to be getting that bill every month. Thanks. Oh my Gosh, Sarah, what a dream. I yeah, you you kind of forget like the stress. It's not just like you want to build equity in a house, but it's the stress of you could get kicked out in any time, which is what happened to us too. So I get it Um and the pet rent and the moving fees and the stress. Oh my gosh,

I'm so glad that that is over for you. Congratulations, Sarah, about this mortgage and where you found yourself and not needing to have the fear of getting kicked out and being able to have all the pets that you want and as many pets as you want. Just don't invite

Jill and I over. It might be allergic. If you all listening, I want to submit your bill, whether it's about a mortgage bill that you're so thrilled to be paying or a bill that you no longer have to pay, or something related to, you know, your pets or the buffalo bills. You know the drill. Visit Frugal friends, DOT podcast, dot com slash bill. Leave US her bill and now

it's time for round around. So today's lightning round question I also want to acknowledge that drill and bill rhyme, and you do that all the time and I just realized it. Dot Com slash bill, you know the drill. Yeah, you're so good. Today's lightning round question. What was a significant change you made to change your financial status this this was a really good question. When I was reading the outline, it did cause me a lot of reflection, like what was the biggest pivot? And people might not

love this answer, but it's the reality. It really was mindset. I think that's why I've wanted to harp on this so much throughout this podcast episode and, honestly, just in our podcast in general. We talk about mindset a lot because it it is very pivotal. It's where are changes begin is in our mind that's where we can start to see new growth, new realities, new circumstances. I know I've talked about this before, I'll share it again now.

There was a year not that long ago where Eric and I, my husband, combined collectively made eighteen thousand dollars a year. I don't share that. I don't know to raise any kind of like look at me flag, but to be able to say yes, like I can understand that financial aspect of being really strapped and wanting a

different reality for myself. And I think the biggest shift was having the freedom to say I don't have to be here anymore, shifting from Oh, this is I'm I'm poor, I'm constantly poor and looking for ways for other people to care for me. But what can I do to care for myself that might make a change? What? Where is their freedom and permission to say I could do

something different? I don't have to find myself in a job that I feel takes advantage of me and doesn't pay me much but requires and demands so much of my energy, attention, skill set resources. And I think when I made that realization and actually embraced it is when

I started to see differences. It wasn't overnight, though. Some of it included investing in myself, expanding education and influence and knowledge and skill set, giving myself permission to do different things, set my hands to even things that I enjoy, that I don't have to sacrifice myself over and over and over and over again for something that never gives back to me, speaking of some of the initial social work jobs that I had. So I do think that

it was mindset first. Then there were some tangible shifts that I made, like living in an RV, like getting my master's degree, like having this podcast and engaging in a community that's going to help me think critically about important shifts to be making. But ultimately it began with me and it began in my mind. Yeah, I wrote something down and now, once I'm reading it, I realized there's actually like something deeper than what I wrote. So my initial to the question, I wrote my initial answer

was starting to pay off debt. That was the biggest the decision to act before I actually believed I could pay off the debt. I essentially had to fake it till you may get mentality, and it took starting and making small winds in the beginning for me to actually start believing that this was something I could do. But I realized even before that I had a partner who was pulling me up with him, was pulling me into

the mindset, the growth mindset, that he already had. He wasn't pushing me to do something I didn't want to do because at the beginning I didn't want to do it, I didn't think I could. So I didn't want to waste time being miserable doing something I didn't think I could do in the end anyway. But he lifted me up with him and I had and it was that supportive partner that I think, got me to make the action before I had the mindset and supported me. And

so I would say a supportive partner. I mean, yes, you can do it on your own, action before mindset. Just keep going fake do you make it Um but if you have a partner that's not supportive in growth and not, yeah, not supportive in your growth, like drop them like a bad habit. I just I mean, because that was a I'm sorry, I take that back. Don't. Don't do that if you don't want to. But seriously, like you don't need deadweight. So if you feel like you have dead weight hanging on you get it off.

That's what I'll say. Yeah, be aware of the influence others are having, especially that that closest relationship, and at least adding more in if they don't currently exist. You are going to need support in this process. Yeah, it's easier to do it on your own than it is to be carrying dead weight. It's easiest to do it with a really supportive partner. Yeah, nobody will lie to you and say it's just as easy to do it on your own as it is with another income and

a supportive partner. No, but he's gonna say that. Um, but it is much harder to do it with someone who's dragging you down than to just do it on your own. Thanks for listening if you've made it this far. We know this was not an easy topic. It's complicated, it's nuanced. We did not cover all of the things that we could possibly have covered, but we hope this is helpful in some way. We hope you feel seen and supported and and thank you for your support of us.

Many of you know that we do have a private community where we do some of these monthly money challenges. We offer accountability and community where you can be further supported and we want to congratulate one of our members for a big win. Janina said, I've just made my way through the dream life videos. Yeah, we've got some visuals for you in that membership. I found them very interesting, especially recognizing the difference between fixed and growth mindsets and

how those can affect us. As I would doing the workbook, I found that when I began to break down my goals into clear steps, they didn't seem so huge and unattainable. I look forward to taking off my smaller tasks and achieving my goals in the near future and seeing how those helped shape my long term future. Amazing. More about mindset figure. Yeah, that wasn't that planned. That one just happened to be in this episode, but, Janina, I'm glad

you're just reinforcing what we've spent an hour talking about. Congratulations. Thank you so much for listening for being here. If you want to check out our monthly challenge community had to frugal friends podcast dot com slash club, you can see what we have coming up next. Then if you want to join us, see you next time. Frugal friends is produced by Eric Sirian, Jen Jill onto a more

lighthearted topic, please. So recently too, family members of mine, my mother and my brother, pointed out that my arm hair is very long, like the hair on my forearm

is very long. Thankfully it's light colored hair, so, you know, maybe people don't totally notice it, but literally in the last two weeks both my mother and my brother are like like they were talking to me and mid sentence like distracted by it separately and we're like, Oh, Jill, your arm hair is really long, and I never really noticed because my vantage point, you know, it's just kind of looking down at it, you don't really realize until you flip the arm over that it had like, you know,

an inch of two inches kind of hanging off of hair on your arms. I was appalled really and thinking how many people have noticed this not said anything? But I kept forgetting about it until I'd be, you know, in bed thinking and then realizing, Oh yeah, my arm hair is really longer, like I walked past a gust of wind and I feel it on my arm. It's like, why did I feel so much wind? Yeah, because my hair is like blowing the wind on my arm. And the other night I was in bed I was like

Dang in that kind of verbalize it out loud. I'm like I gotta, I gotta do something about this arm hair and Eric is like, oh well, literally, like midnight. Is like you want, you need to ship you want to shave it right now. It's like, Oh my word, like you think it's so bad that you're willing to get up with me and help me shave my arm hair cut too. I did need help, but so it's

like a hard angle to get at. Eric helped me to like, but I don't want to shave it all the way, like I don't one stubs that hurt me when I wear long sleeves. I want to, you know, but I didn't. I didn't know fully how. But he helped me and I'm like Eric, did you notice? He's like yeah, I mean it's long, like so, like you notice and you never said something like you need to

adopt t s a's approach. See something, say something, don't wait for my mother my brother to let me know, like this is your role as a spouse and a partner in life. He was so eager to help me get it gone, but apparently not going to be the one to point it out. He's like I don't think you realize how bad it could go if I point something out to you. Yeah, he's right on that. He is right. If I would say him, I would not have said anything. I also don't think he cared like

he made me not that. It makes me wonder what else is going on that other people are seeing. They don't want to say anything. You're my spouse. You're supposed to say something, but you're not going to say anything like, don't be so scared of me. I have never noticed your arm hair. That's good. Ever. Well, hopefully you won't anymore, because we handled that situation, me and I together in the shower. I'm not gonna say anything so embarrassing