Best Tips to Save on Your Wedding or Elopement

It was episode four because I know this because my mom was literally talking with me about this yesterday. One of her daughter's friends is getting married and she's like, so I went back in your archives and it was episode four. She's like, you guys improved since then, there's still some good tips. And she's like, but maybe you should update a wedding episode. And then well she was half right. It's episode six. Yea, so close, yes, So

that was the first episode, Episode six. We did a part one of how to Save Money on a Wedding, and then episode forty nine we did how to Save Money on Weddings Part two Reception and Honeymoon, And there are some good tips, and we still think they are valid episodes to listen to. We think the wedding landscape has changed since and so we want to highlight some of those changes and how you can save money in

this new landscape of weddings. And you know what this also highlights, Jen, it's reminding me there was a time when you said I will never do another wedding episode. This is it. We did part one and we did part two, and there's a running joke with Jen that anytime she said she's never going to do something, it definitely means she will, because well, it's like a secret charm over two hundred episodes for us to get to another wedding episode. So it may take a really long time,

but it's never ever, Yeah, it's never. Never. Almost is a guarantee that I will. So it's you know, who could have saw happening in one? You know, nobody could have seen it come in and some of our presodes need updates. Yeah, well, you're not disappointing me. But speaking of disappointments, that's who our show is brought to us by today. Disappointments, not that we need a reminder about them.

Disappointments happened regularly, but this sponsor has a special message today in partnership with our wedding episode, highlighting the fact that no matter how you approach your wedding, there will be disappointed people, and honestly, you might be one of them, even the one getting married, or your aunt or your grandma or somebody. There's no pleasing everyone, so tie the

knot your way. That's that's my advice. Speaking of disappointments, hopefully you won't be disappointed to know that we have a Patreon, a special place where you can get more from us, including a monthly bonus episode and other fun things. Of course, we know we have disappointed some people with this offering, but if that's not you and you are interested in this, head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash Patreon. We'd love to see you there. If you like the show and you want to support us and

get some goodies, come on over. We're there. The water is warm. Yeah. Alright, So let's talk weddings. Uh. This is definitely a major one that does get requested, and it was requested enough that I went against my no more weddings rule. We're talking about weddings again, but we're also talking out of lopements, and we're talking about these new micro wedding trends that I think are very cool, and there's just a lot I mean people, I guess.

I don't want to say they're less crazy about weddings than they were, but I feel like maybe they are. But that's probably also because I'm getting older. I don't know, Jill, you go to more weddings than I do. I'm just shaking my head over here. I feel like the pandemic did did us a solid not in many ways, but in this way that I think it really did give permission for people to get creative with it. We've seen some really cool stuff out of weddings and the way

people are reimagining that. But then I think there's this other flip side where it has sparked the people who needed to wait for forever to have like the wedding that they wanted, and now it's like, we waited two years for this, and so forget about our entirement, We're

going all out. And also, something that has happened in the last decade that is definitely not has not died off and is still alive and well or becoming more and more alive and well is the whole weekend getaway bachelor bachelorette that was not a thing when I got married, And I am very grateful it wasn't, honestly, because that's a whole added cost. That's where I've seen stuff shift. And it's so funny because when this comes out, we'll actually be going to a wedding, like in four days.

So this is hilarious and we I can't remember the last time we went to a wedding. But I think it's for the worst. It's not for a better, it's not an improvement, but a lot of costs have shifted to friends because these bridal like bachelorette and bachelor parties have gotten much more intense. They have gotten like we're taking international old trips now I know, I know I and so that is and it's like and it's a

once in a lifetime. So it puts this pressure on, like I can't say no to anything because hopefully you only get married once. It's not like a birthday that happens every year. Yeah, so but we want we're not talking about bachelor parties in this episode, but if you're getting married, please consider that. Um that No, it's not everybody's once in a lifetime. It's your once in a lifetime. They will they will go to like twenty bachelorette parties. Uh so keep that in mind as you plan yours.

But we're talking first about elopements versus wedding costs, and we're getting really broad in how we talk about elopements now. Uh we'll talk more about like the micro wedding in the next article, but definitely did want to break down the difference in these because I Okay, so when I got married, I was like, I'm never gonna elope. I can't. I have too many friends. I just want a big party. There is a way that you could still have that party without the going crazy, and one of those ways

is through alopement. Uh so, what did you think about this one, Jill, It's been a long time since you got married. It's been a long time old But I thanks Jen with the same age though, was so you were married a whole three years before me. So I really I love this article. I think it's helpful to see the differences and now I'm not I don't think that our approach here is to say everyone should elope, but just to kind of highlight the differences, maybe get

the wheels turning on. Oh that's interesting. Maybe I maybe that could be an area of savings for me, or maybe there's some sort of radical middle combination that I could do here. I think what I would love to drive home in this episode is that you can get married and have it be affordable for you. I know that that's going to be different for everybody. I don't think you have to sacrifice everything, but I also don't think you have to spend tens of thousands of dollars

just to get married. And I think that this article highlights that. And I did find it interesting to look at the comparisons of various types of weddings, right an elopement is a type of wedding marriage ceremony versus your maybe massive traditional wedding, and kind of where the additional costs come in and what that could mean for cutting costs.

I found it so very interesting what they site at the very beginning here is according to Bride's dot com, the average cost of a wedding was forty four thousand dollars in two thousand eighteen. I got to imagine it's even higher now for people going traditional wedding, you know, with inflation and everything, which is just massive. And then they say with the state of Oregon being slightly less than about twenty eight thousand, And of course the author,

the writer of this article is from Oregon. Her a little plug to say, organs better when it comes to average wedding costs. But forty four thousand dollars is astronomical

to me. That is, that's more than my student loans coming out of undergrad Like this is you're talking about taking out student loan debts if you're looking at that type of what So it makes sense that so many people are asking this question about how do I save on a wedding, because yeah, goodness, we shouldn't have to spend forty four dollars absolutely, and I don't think a

lot of our listeners are planning to do that. But if you consider yourself a little below average, uh, and how much you want to spend for your wedding, A budgets for these things always get higher than what you plan, so you have to go even lower than what you want to spend to get to around where you will be where you want to be. Um And it's just good to look outside of your comfort zone to get

creative ideas. Take a little from one, leave what you don't like, you know, take what saves you money, and then splurge in the in the parts where you really feel convicted about. So yeah, well, let's look at the first cost that they're comparing in the elope versus wedding debate fight sword fight. Yes, okay, here we go. Uh, photography and videography, and this is from a photographer and videography company. So let's take this one with a grain

of salt. She says that they're all the same. You will pay the same amount whether you are doing a wedding or an elopement, which we know to be untrue. Um, having lots of photography and videography. Friends, if you want to do something that is during the week, then you will, you can you can save. If you are taking a photographer on a journey into the desert, got to get him a hotel or something, you are going to pay

the same or more for photography and videography. So but if you want to do something on a week day, maybe in the afternoon, like before this person has to pick up their kid from school or before they have to make dinner, that that is going to be a lower cost than a Saturday where they can charge a premium. Uh So it's not across the board, but it can be if you are looking to get a very high

quality photographer videographer. Just asked, are there any days or times that you would do a discounted rate and that could be could be an option, and you will also have them for less time to than a normal wedding would cost because elopements are just typically shorter. Mm hmm. The next comparison is related to florals. I know a lot of people can spend a lot of money on flowers, from center pieces to the bride's bouquet, to bride'smaids, to boutineers,

to the arch way you name it. There's a ton of floral costs. And of course this is going to vary depending on what type of wedding day you choose, but certainly for your more traditional wedding where you've got all of those things, you're looking at upwards of twelve hundred dollars Versus if you're eloping and you just want a bouquet in maybe a few flowers for the background of the ceremony, you're looking at more like one seventy

two hundred dollars, So that's quite a significant difference. Yeah, definitely, and you can you can compromise. So maybe you do more things like thrifted things or things from like up cycled from your house as decor, and you do more limited florals if you want to have the bigger wedding but you want to save some money on that stuff, or maybe you do no no florals, maybe you just

do a bouquet. So this is something where you can still have a larger wedding and you don't have to buy all the flowers that normally come with a wedding. You could just do just a bouquet and then maybe some bridesmaids bouquets if you wanted to. So that's also an alternative. Mm hm. Next is the venue, and this makes a huge difference. Um and you really can't like this is something you can't if you have a big wedding. You can't save with the small venue. You're gonna pay

for the big venue. And this is a big place where people sink a lot of their money. This is I would say where most money uh for the actual ceremony is sunk. If you do the same place for the reception, it would be that too. But yeah, venue you'll pay this is about five thousand dollars for wedding venue. I haven't heard of anyone lately getting out with a

venue for less than ten thousand. If you also take into consideration all of the minimums, all the things they make you add to use the venue, so between five and ten. Whereas an elopement they put venue in quotations is typically about two oh five. So you have to pay for me be a permit um they say, the a permit from Yosemite. It's about hundred and fifty uh two fifty for Rocky Mountain National Park, so that's or

maybe a parking pass for five bucks. So you really can if you don't have set up and you don't have things that really need to be set up, um like you do at a venue, you can get away with a lot with a small venue. Well, and I think you know what what the writer is acknowledging and kind of pointing towards is that usually with an elopement,

you'll utilize nature the great outdoors as your venue. So if you need to get a permit, sure, but I'm sure that if we're not living in Portland, Oregon, then maybe we're just going to a park or really anywhere.

But another thing that's interesting about whether it's a micro wedding or an elopement is that I think whether can be less of a concern, Like you're not as worried about how is this going to impact all of my guests and parking and bathrooms and a tent versus you know, I was prepared for the like in case of rain, I didn't really mind if I would have needed. I really wanted an outdoor wedding that didn't end up happening

for me, ended up being a beautiful day. But there was that thought like, but you're going to have to have the backup plan that's going to cost money, versus you could have an outdoor wedding and just bring an umbrella if it's just the two of you or ten fifteen people. I think you you worry less about weather, which is like another kind of side peripheral thing with venue, which also impacts cost. Absolutely that's a great point too. Then, of course, you know DJ this has to do with

venue and reception and all of that. I mean, if you're eloping and you want to dance. You again, just bring a blue too speaker and play the songs you want to play. Versus if you are doing a traditional wedding, most likely you're going to at least be hiring a DJ, if not a live band. You know, people do that for cocktail hour and all sorts of things, so you can really rack up the cost. It's so interesting the prices that are listed in here a wedding DJ. Again,

I think they're far more than that. I think you're talking at least three thousand dollars now for a DJ. Honestly, even this is a place where you can save, even if you have a larger wedding, if you can rent out like a really good sound system and just have a really good continuous I don't know if i'd use Spotify. I might try and find an app that is specifically for like music play being played at parties where the

downtime is less. It maybe is like a curated it's one playlist with many it's it's almost one song with many songs in it, versus just playing like um songs with abrupt ends and stuff. So you can find that, I mean they have that. They have that for our gym, like the gym has that that app for music. Eric and I used to be DJ's, so I can affirm that there's that there are apps that you can plug in your playlist and you can have the one song

start over top of the other songs. That there's never that like awkward laps that I think is pretty much the point of having a d J. I mean, there's more to it than just that. But if you're not that concern, you just want a good playlist, this is something you can do ahead of time. Throw all your songs into the app, have them set up so that the one just plays exactly after the other. You can curate it for which songs you want to come next.

You know you're gonna want like two hours for cocktail hour and dinner and then two or three hours of dancing. So even when you go to traditional wedding route, like you're saying, Jen rent wedding equipment, some of this stuff can be or sound equipment and some of the stuff can be d I wide. Yeah, and then for the announcing, here's here's the thing. Everyone's going to have a friend that's going to want to bring a plus one and you're like, I, you'll never stay with this person, Please

don't bring them or you just met this person? Why why should I have to pay for their dinner. Here's the thing. You find that person and you pay them to announce the wedding. They shouldn't be You went from why are you here to let me entrust to you with announcing. Yeah, they shouldn't be there, but they're gonna be there regardless, so you better give them a job. I think i'd rather like have them serve the guests the cake than give them the microphone. But you do

you jen, Okay, obviously they have to be qualified. If they are unqualified, then you then you get them to serve the cake. But um, you can also ask a friend who loves to do this stuff if they will just do it. But you also don't want to take advantage of people who are invited to your wedding as guests. But so that's the But if you're gonna take advantage of someone, that's who you take advantage of is the

person that shouldn't be there. It's the plus one. Yeah, I mean, I am all about friends chipping in, chiming in given of their skill set, Like, I think that's a great alternative to a gift and something I would encourage people to ask of their friends, like can you do the center pieces? Can you do the music? Even if they're not a DJ, but like can you queue it all up? Can you do the flowers? That I say that already, like give everybody a job and then

that's their wedding gift. Yeah, it can be. As we get older, it becomes harder to ask people to do things. So yeah, maybe find somebody who doesn't do a lot and ask them to do something. That could also be the person that you asked to do. Everybody's got one of those family members as well. Think about it. Think about it. Yeah, it's hard to ask people to do that. But at the same time they are going to be coming to your wedding and giving you money. There's essentially

like the ask for that. If you're doing a wedding, that's essentially what you're asking for. So instead of that, hey, would you mind doing X, Y Z? Instead? People want to help. Oh, and what a great idea if you don't want to give somebody like money or a gift, to be like, hey, what can I help with at your wedding? I don't have the budget for a gift. But I would love to do something. Don't ask them the day before the wedding, asked them like months before,

so they don't hire somebody to do that. Yeah, what can I do for you at your wedding to save you money? Yeah? Deal, that's a great gift. And then finally, and of course on my end, that just the food, and this is the most important in my opinion, catering, food, alcohol, cake. Of course, this is going to be far less expensive if you're eloping or doing a smaller wedding. It's the cost of you eating whatever it is that you want

to eat, versus feeding everybody else. They're estimating wedding catering being about five thousand dollars. Again, this is going to depend on how many people you have, but it could be even more than that depending on what kind of food you're serving. So between venue and food, I think those are going to be your biggest expenses for a traditional wedding. And similar to how we approach every other aspect of life, you're gonna want to look at the

heavy hitters. If you're really trying to save or not spend a ton of money or cut costs on a wedding, those are going to be the areas that do you want to look at? How can I get this? Get get a version of what I want for the least amount of money as possible or whatever your budget is that you want to be getting married with. Not to go into debt for this. Yeah, I mean, you can get a great cake at Publix. I'm just saying for thirty bucks. Definitely, don't send Jill to get the cake.

But you can. Yeah, I will forever be cake. Don't send Jill to get the dessert. Dessert. Yeah, that doesn't mistake And ultimately you just have to be upset at yourself about it. I'm talking to me, but it's fine. But I also ordered the turos. You didn't really want me to do that. But the Turos were decent. Those were de Yeah, those were Those were pretty alright. Next on the list is day of Coordination. I didn't realize how much I would need this on our at our

wedding until we had it. Um, this is the person, this is the plus one, and this is how I know. This was my plus one who was aptlete qualified, but I would not she would not have been invited to my wedding. She was a plus one, and she wanted to start her day of coordination like business. Obviously, probably not at that place in our lives anymore, you know,

in our early twas. But if you are, and if you have a friend who's maybe starting to start some kind of project management business, this is a great little feather in their cap. But I paid her like a hundred and fifty bucks and that was so nice, so so nice to have well and it was kind to her too. Yeah. Yeah, day of coordination. I would say

this is important, especially for your typical, typical wedding. You don't realize how much needs to come together on the final day, and if you don't have a point person, the bride will be the one and you don't want that. Nope, you do not want that. I'm assuming I'm talking to the bride right now that you're listening to me. You do not want to be the point person day of

your wedding. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Yeah, you can get away with spending less than the twelve hundred that it says um by just having one at the reception or our friend Jess, you Jill, you were the coordinator, you know for that wedding. Just having a friend who is skilled do it, but don't skip it unless you're having an elopement, in which case you can't skip it. Yeah. Yeah,

save that money. And I doubled as the MC for the night too, so the coordinator could also be the m C. I mean, just figure out all the ways to hack it. I get it if you want your friends and family to be there. Like, elopements are really awesome. People are doing them in amazing ways. But at the end of the day, it's going to be for some people and it's not going to be for others. So it is worth moving into the next article where we

talk about how to do just smaller weddings. Yeah, but it's also worth noting that the total for the wedding that they the conservative wedding that they laid out versus the elopement, it's almost twenty eight thousand for the wedding and it's just over ten thousand for the elopement, So that's like night and day difference. It still is crazy to me, though, the ten thousand dollars for an elopement, I think it could be right than that. I think I spent ten thousand dollars on my wedding with three

hundred people. So but that was say, you'd like to remind me, Yeah, but it was a different time then. But we and we but we used a lot of the same tips we just gave to people. So that's how we save that money. And moving on to our what has been a thing but really got popular during is micro weddings. Six ways a micro wedding will save you money. And this is like the hybrid between an elopement and a full wedding. And I kind of love it. How do you feel about it, Joe, Oh, I think

it's so great. It really whittles things down and makes it simple. It makes it affordable. I think it can help you keep sites on what's important for that day. I think it's an especially excellent idea for people who really want a beautiful, highly curated wedding day and experience. We kind of want all of the things, but don't want to pay the ticket price for all of the things.

Then having a really small wedding is great. At the end of the day, I will say I personally loved having a massive wedding because it was really important to me that all of my people, every single one of them could be there, but I sacrificed on the other side of it, Like it wasn't your most high end experience. It didn't have all of the pomp and circumstance. So I think this is where you just have to weigh

out what's most important to me. Is it that everyone is able to be there, or is it that it's it's just a really remarkable, memorable, meaningful day with like my closest of close people. Either one is great. You're just going to have to recognize what the give and take is going to be when you're able to kind of identify the core items that are most important to you. Yeah, I feel the same way. I wanted a big wedding. I wanted everyone there that I loved and definitely sacrificed

on other things. It was and it was an all outdoor wedding. The food was made by the best man and two people were in charge of supposed to be in charge of heating it up. He's a chef and he had like made it the previous day. It was just like pasta sauce. It was just spahetti and the to charge my mom. The two people my mom hired to heat it up pretty much failed. So the food was kind of gold. There was just a keg of beer that was served yourself, and yeah, it was real.

It was all My in laws own a winery, but they were just getting started, so it was all wine that they were just testing out. It wasn't the best, the best iteration of what they can do now. So it was really like it wasn't the best, but we had fun like we day and I love that. And see I love that to take the air out of the room of all the pretension, which I think both ways can have that. A smaller wedding can take out pretension, a big wedding without all the thrills and thrills, it

just have fun, enjoy the day. Yeah, how fun there is. I mean, there are definitely a few things that I wish I could change, mostly the hot food. I did love to serve yourself beer. That was fun, but be careful and be careful with that, right. There was no

hard liquor. Uh so, But I think what a Mike, what one have done for us have made it acceptable to do a micro wedding because before it was you're either inviting everyone because your mom says so, or you're inviting no one, so nobody gets offended that you invited him not her. And so we now have a lot of excuses to why now we can choose smaller gatherings. It's not like an offensive offensive thing anymore. So that

is a huge positive. Uh And and that's the first thing on this list six of six ways a micro wedding can save you money? Is that smaller guest list just simply cost less, and you are you can offend fewer people today. And I feel like we may be moving backwards. I don't know, maybe six months ago, I was more confident in saying that, Like, but I think I think we are creating just like a foundation of boundaries in this field. So I think I think some of it will go back to, you know, moms forcing

you to invite aunt Edna. You can't not invite aunt Edna even though you haven't seen her in twenty years because she get offended. Um, Like, I think that's going away. Honestly, I think we are moving at least away from the binary. And there's more of a third, fourth, fifth option here with weddings even too. So they described micro weddings as usually it's a maximum of fifty guests is what we're talking about when we say micro wedding. It's not going

to be a ton of people in fifty guess. When two people are getting married, that's that is enough for your close friends and family, Like, that's that's gonna be fifty guess. But I've also seen it where people might have they're more intimate micro wedding forty to fifty guess, and then a few months down the road, do a larger but less formal reception, more of a pot luck style and kind of get the best of both worlds.

Like there's just there's so many more options that I'm seeing arise, and it's giving space and freedom to be creative, to do it your way. But along those lines, you can certainly save money on a lower priced venue when you are having less people. You just don't have to pay for the space to be able to have as many people. You don't have to have all those lights on, all that heating and cooling, you name it. So you're talking your backyard weddings. This could be a beach wedding,

could be someone's garden. It couldn't even be like someone with a large living room could be a micro wedding and so depending on Yeah, if you've only got forty or fifty guests, you can really choose almost anything, even even a restaurant. Running out a room in a restaurant you could do. And that is going to significantly cut the costs from a place that needs to hold a hundred fifty people. Yeah, definitely, I like all these and you kind of you kind of covered the lower priced

venue option the next one on. Here's fewer decorations, so you can go more with what you really love if you're buying fewer of them. So and yeah, that's just fewer decorations means you save money, but you can also get better quality, maybe more sustainable. So the options really open up to you when you're choosing, Like fifty people are less mm hmm. And I think that can connect to whatever venue you choose. You can kind of hit

two things all at once. If you're able to identify a place that you find beautiful so that you don't have to add a ton of stuff to it in order to make it look nice. This of course could be an outdoor wedding if you have a park that's your favorite. We just had, We've had a couple of weddings at the park at the end of our road recently, and it's just it was just a reminder to me of that is a beautiful park and all they had to do is just show up and get married. They

didn't have to decorate it a ton. Of course, you're at the whim of mother nature. But yeah, I think you you all so don't have to spend a lot on the core if you're getting married in a spot that you just think is as good as is. Yeah, that was our our thing as we chose the like shuffle board courts from the city, Like it's owned by the city, so it's a lower cost and it also has all this like vintage charm being from the twenties, so we decorated it like not at all. We just

the charm ven you. I love that as a wedding venue. Yeah, so be creative to there. Even if you are going for a bit larger of a ceremony hundred fifty to two hundred people, there's still could be options. I know we we recently made friends with someone in our area who there's like a community dance hall that they're renting out and I think it's like a hundred fifty dollars to rent out this dance hall for the night, and it has all the tables and chairs, so it's just like, oh,

there's still could be options. It might not be, you know, the most beautiful spot, but shop around shovelboard courts. Who would have thought? Who would have number four on here? Obviously, the smaller the wedding, the less food you're paying for, and that could even make way for you to have

some nicer menu items when you're feeding less people. But at the end of the day, you're just purchasing less food to feed less people, and you can go more minimal in that regard to which is going to save a ton of money and will inevitably lead to less food waste because large catering orders always produced some kind of food waste, and you're just one frugal person. You may not be able to take all the leftovers, though we may try, you know, we try. Have you ever

taken like to go from a wedding all ways? Jillian, I am, I am, I'm always offended that you haven't. What if you have? You did you bring your own tupperware? Please tell me even for your own plastic? No, they'll have them I've never brought my own though. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. I'm getting older, I'm carrying less. Yep, I'm gonna bring my own do that. I might do that at the wedding this weekend. We'll see. I'd love, I'd love to watch that happen, but I'd

also cringe. Should also be cringing the whole time. No, but there is so much. Anybody who's worked in catering knows. The larger the order, the more the food waste, and the employees more or less half more and more are being forced to just get rid of it. Some can take it home. So you always want to ask, like the caterer, hey, with the food that's not used, because the brian and groom are not taking it. They're absolutely not taking it. They wish they could, they can't. They're

going on their honeymoon. So you say like, hey, are you able to take this food home? The I remember for Jess's wedding, we divvied up even the rehearsal dinner food, So that's another thing. The parents of the bride and groom and the bridal party, they may have already taken leftovers from the rehearsal dinner, so they may not want to take home those things either, So just check with someone to make sure that food has a home and that home is not in the trash can. I always

take the center pieces, that's my stick. Anyone want these flowers good, I'll take them. Yeah, I'm always taking alternatively because you know I'm loving to give. Also the tips for the people who are like I guess why a traditional wedding. Okay, we see you. You're good with the food thing. Consider an all vegetarian menu. People are going to be fine for one day if all they get is pasta and salad. Your meats, obviously are going to be what's going to cost you a ton of money?

Or depending on time of day you get married, you could do a brunch instead, which is going to cost a lot less. You could do a CHARCOUTERI you could even do. I know a ton of people that blew my mind when I heard this. All they did was dessert. They got married later in the day and they had a dessert reception. You can do what if this? If this is you, you need to hear this message. You can do whatever you want to do. It is your wedding.

You can choose what's going to make the most sense for you, that aligns with your values, that's within your budget. You can get creative, You could do what you want to do. But I will say, have you ever been to a dessert wedding? Jill? I believe I have. It's a little much like if you're just there for an hour and you're only having dessert, cool, But if you're there for a ceremony and then a full reception and all you have at the reception is dessert, it's too

much dessert. You need you need actual foods. So dessert elopement high five, full on um. If you're doing a micro wedding or a wedding, then at least like some kind of like tapas or or Derv's sort of thing. If you don't want to do a full meal, definitely have some savory option for people who are like Jill and can I guess I'm thinking dessert. I am thinking of your people who might just have a shorter reception, which I know plenty of people who that's the case.

Like I don't want to dance, it's not our thing. Why do we have to do that. Let's just hang out with people for an hour and get out of there. If you're getting people later like eight, you know you have a seven or eight pm ceremony, that'd be fun, and then you just have dessert together, dessert nightcaps. Okay, yes we're there. Yeah. So next number five, you're rentals. Fewer rentals. So rentals are a way you can save money on a bigger renting. Instead of renting out a DJ,

you rent out the sound system, get the app. Technology is a wonderful thing. But in general, like, in addition to saving money by renting items versus services, you can also save money by just like needing fewer rentals in general, a smaller sound system, fewer tables, fewer chairs, fewer linens, um, smaller sizes, stuff like that. So that is another way a micro wedding can be saving you money. And you just tell mom, like, we can't have aunt Edna there.

It's more, it's another chair, it's on the table, it's more linen's, it's a bigger sound system, it's more all of these things. And you just list everything out and you tell her and you stand your ground and you you decide the things that you will compromise on, and the things you will not, although keep in mind, if aunt Edna's not there, aunt Edna's probably not going to give you a gift. So make sure you're you're thinking wisely about whether or not aunt Edna's independently wealth, being

strategic you want. Yeah, um My, my throwdown with my mom was over the veil. I will not wear the veil. I don't know what it is about moms and their veils. Oh my gosh, did you cave? No? No, caved, caved. My mom would be more happy with you. She's probably listening right now, saying, good girl, Jen. You wish my daughter were more like you know, my mom holds a lot of things over my head. There are a lot

of things I said no to. The veil was just like that last thing where I was like, woman, yeah, I'll stupid veil if you just shut up about these twenty down the eye because I can't see anything. Yeah, we were still talking about that veil when I had a baby shower four years later. Stop it. Oh gosh, I can't even so obviously this wedding. This is why we don't do many episodes at all. Come put me in a bad place. I will never do another wedding

episode say it all right? Lastly in number six is that a micro wedding can help save in wedding attire. You can go more casual if you are doing a smaller wedding. I I'm mixed on this. It's it might seem more like your guests could go casual. Your maybe people who are standing up in support of you could go more casual. I feel as though when I see people do smaller weddings, what they're spending on then is like a really beautiful dress, suit, tux, you name it.

You don't have to, you could what values based wedding spending is what I'm here for. And I think when you do cut costs in certain areas, it frees up some money to spend in other areas. But also there is more permission in a smaller wedding to go more casual, which could save you some money. Yeah, I would agree. I bought a bridesmaid's dress in white. That was my wedding dress. I love it. So they made great bridesmaids dresses,

so yeah, I'm just get them in white. Well, you know what comes in all shape, sizes and colors, not just brides and not just white the Bill of the week. That's right, it's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.

Bill Bill, this is the bill of the week. Hi, this is Ashley from San Diego, California, and I am binging your podcast and I'm still so far behind your current stuff, so someday hopefully I'll hear this message on the Bill of the week. Um, my Bill of the week is my son William, whose birthday is tomorrow, so this is an honor of him. And he goes by one million nicknames, which is the best part of having

a son named William. He goes by William of course, Willem like William to show Bill, will Prince William, William the Conqueror, Wild Bill, Willie want a buffalo Bill. There you go. It's like Willie Billy the kid. Will I am Billiam, which is my person, my favorite, and his newest is now Bill of the Week. That's my bill of the week. He's the best. Your podcast is the best. You guys, have a great week, Ashley. I am you

beat me to it. I was gonna I was gonna try and have to give birth to a William so I can call him Bill of the Week, and you beat me to it. And I'm so proud. Actually, I'm fist bumping over here. I am grinning from ear to ear. My face is going to fall off. I'm smiling so hard it literally you are not You are making my day, my week, my month, even my year. This is amazing that your son's name is William. It was his birthday,

Happy birthday him, all of these things. Bill, Prince William, Buffalo, Bill, slick Well, Billy the Kid, Billy Um, Bill of the Week. You are the best Bill of the week. I hope you had a great birthday. You are the coolest kid with a cool mom having a cool day. I love this. Get it, get it, get it. If you want to get it by submitting your Bill of the week, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash Bill to leave us your bill. Godly, they keep getting better and better and better.

I don't know how to contain all of my excitement or make you feel like you should. Yeah, still submit, because apparently my excitement levels can escalate even beyond what anyone thought was possible. So if I still have a face left for you and an ability to listen to the bill of the week, I will do that thro the podcast dot com slash bill. Now it's time for road. So we talked about this one throughout the episode, but creative ways we specifically used to save on our personal weddings.

That and maybe something maybe something you did that you wouldn't do again, Jill. Maybe that's something that we add in since we a lot of these things we already talked about. Yeah, so okay, you go first. Okay, the food was out of my hands because I thought it was taken care of, So sorry to everyone in attendance for the cold spaghetti. But maybe hiring somebody more reliable. In hindsight, I don't know who could have known, Who

could have known the reliability of these people. I was thinking I would have liked a DJ, because we got uh, we got Uncle Anthony to be in charge of the music, and I made a playlist, but I didn't make it as good as a DJ would have made it, Like it's just not my strength, and uh, you know, I should have I should have delegated it to a professional

but that's about it. I and I tried. There are other things I tried, Like I tried to get actual wine, like white wine, red wine, white z Infidale, And conveniently those wines never made it out of the car. It was only my in laws wine, unmarked wine, to the to the extent that my friend who is allergic to strawberries tried it and he's like, what kind of wine is this? Because it's unmarked and somebody had to be

like strawberries and he had to like leave. So there were like things out of my control that I wish I could have changed. But I think if the money wise thing, I think I would have maybe maybe hired

a DJ, maybe I would have splurged there. Yeah. Oh, I'm trying to think of a helpful regret for people, uh certainly thinking you've all heard the story, probably, but thinking I was going to be able to borrow my sister's wedding dress as a backup when the one I ordered from China didn't end up being what I wanted. And turns out, at the end of the day, when I faced my truest of true selves, I did not

want to borrow my sister's wedding dressed. I wanted my own, so that that was an additional cost to get a wedding dress and altered last minute. But I loved it, so I can't say that I regret it, but I think just maybe being honest about what was important and where I'm willing to cut and where I wasn't willing to cut. I do have, uh an unpopular opinion because that's what the lightning round is for here that I

try and encourage other people with. One of the things I am very glad we did is have a short engagement. So the unpopular opinion here is that planning a wedding, an actual wedding, only needs to take as long as it takes to plan a large party, And in no other life circumstances do we take a year to two years to plan a party, but we do it with engagements.

I get it that there's maybe like other reasons for that, but when it comes to the wedding, I think having that shorter amount of time to plan can also save money because you're not getting as tripped up with like all of the decisions and all of the Instagram scrolling and Pinterest scrolling and opinions and asking this and asking that you're just pulling together a party, and I think when people are able to approach it in that regard, it can also cut all of the unnecessary excess that

I think does eat up a lot of the budgets and takes it from uh fifteen thousand dollar ordeal to a dollar ordeal, and it just doesn't need to be that um and just obviously looking at all the different ways that that can be cut, asking friends to do various services. I think one of the things that helped us too is finding people who are just starting out in something like everyone's got a friend who's just starting

out in photography, get them. And we got two of them, So two people who were just starting out in the field, so that there were multiple angles, multiple different types of perspective, styles of photography. And even with extra photographers, it hardly cost us anything because they were new, they had great cameras, great equipment, they had practiced some this is one of their first weddings. I was willing for that, like, I'll

take the pictures that they capture. Yeah, we did vegetarian menu, so just but for us, the value was I want to have a blast and I want everyone to be there. I want everyone to come, so I cut crazy in all the other areas. This is much more of a recommendation for people getting married in their twenties. If you are getting married in your thirties or forties, people have a different expectation, I think because they've been to so

many weddings. And this is where I think the elopement or the micro wedding comes in so great because I barely talked to less than fifty people from our wedding. They were there about two hundred to fifty there. A lot of them were family, and yeah, we still don't talk to maybe fifty of them. So I think you're more refined when in the later in your your life

with your relationships. So I think the types of weddings that are appropriate that are most desire aired, you know, the bigger weddings that are more d I y in your twenties versus the smaller weddings that are more refined

in your thirties and forties. There is not one type for any age, but I do see that being more of a of a trend that I mean, you don't have to expect if we're saying, you know, like get your friends to to do stuff for you when you're in your forties and your friends are not about that doesn't have to be. You can definitely hire it out, but just know where you're you're going to be cutting on the guest list to get that price that you're looking for, UM with the service that that you want.

But you could do anything. You just have to get creative in one area or another UM to make it work for you. And that's where that value is based. Approach that we talk about blend's flawlessly here to identify what's most important your own personal context and how you want to approach this day for yourselves. For are you the couple that's getting married, not for anyone else or to meet other people's expectations or to make it look instagram worthy, like do the thing that you want to do.

And at the end of the day, it's about getting married, not just the wedding. So that's I think super important to keep in mind too. Yeah, so thank you for listening. I hope this is really helpful for you if you are engaged or about to be engaged, UM, if you are paying off debt or want to be paying off debt once you get married. Then we have a private community for people paying off debt where we do monthly

money challenges and offer accountability groups. And we would like to congratulate one of our members in there for a big win. And this one's from Vanessa Um and she actually learned something outside of the group that she shared with everyone and I appreciate it, so I wanted to share it with you guys. Um. She says, a lady in my buy nothing group is a huge advocate for no food way, and she posted some pictures in the group that tell the difference between expired food and the

best before date on the packaging. Uh so she says, there's two different dates. And Vanessa said she scored a lot of free food from the buy nothing group because people were giving away food past their best before dates but not past their expired dates. And she has been fine and she posted those pictures in our group. So thank you, Vanessa, and way to go all your free food, you know, and always the next wedding you're at, you ask about that catering. You asked where that catering is

going to? Okay, Oh, this is so great. I love reducing food waste and I also love getting free food and I love when knowledge can help us to make informed decisions. There is a big difference between best before and expired. So well done, Vanessa. Yes, do you want to check out those picks and our other monthly challenges that we've done. Had to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club. See what challenge we're doing right now and what's coming up next? See you next time. Frugal Friends

is produced by Eric Sirian. Yeah. We're definitely going to a wedding this weekend. I totally forgot not this this current weekend, but after this comes out. What's your go to wedding gift? Cash? Everyone loves cash? Yeah, yeah, um, that's it. Everyone loves cash. I love cash, couples love cash. I know that's not the answer you're going to give Jill, what's your favorite? I'm think I was thinking about it, like as I asked the question, the being like, well,

what would you bring? I will check out their registry if there's anything still left on it. I do like the practical, like I'll look for something on the registry that obviously it was within my price range, And of course my mind will usually go to what are they gonna engage? With often and maybe they'll think of me they use that thing, like I'm going to get them their bath towels, and then every time I go over to their house, be like, what did you think of

me when you dried your hands? That's why I can be really weird with it. Um. No for the wedding, the actual wedding, Yeah, it's it's usually just money. It's all I wanted. I never registered for anything. I just asked for money. I registered for low cost items because there were some people that refused. It's the Aunt Edna's they want to get something, they want to wrap it.

And so I registered for all these things and then I returned them all to get the higher priced items that I knew Aunt Edna wouldn't buy, so like the two hundred dollar things. Um, and that was a great strategy. I really hope you don't actually have an Aunt Edna. I don't. I don't. Poor thing feels really called down. But you know what, maybe we'll change our ways.