The pod welcomes the content-creating genius that is Bryan's Gunn - aka Will Powell - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Will's selections are foreign managers picking up English footballing jargon, Chris Wilder's go-to catchprase, the near-extinct art of goalkeepers just booting the ball upfield, and unnecessary modernisation of the FA Cup draw procedure. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel decide how many ...
Apr 02, 2025•1 hr 1 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: football pundits available on a free transfer, Big Dan Burn's week becomes a fortnight, a commentator superbly self-policing his woodwork judgment, some unexpected co-commentary during North Macedonia vs Wales, the Maldini/Baresi myth claims a high-profile victim, ex-Spurs defenders in Jonas Brothers singles and Chelsea suffer a textbook club-crisis moment. Meanwhile, the panel wonder if Erling...
Mar 31, 2025•44 min
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the curious tradition of a visiting team's pre-match stroll around the pitch, the reactions of fans behind a goal observed during an action replay, the moral seesaw of witnessing players drinking from opposition water bottles and the alarmingly low bar for things that make ...
Mar 27, 2025•57 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the ongoing inability of the USA to put together a decent football team, a possible new world record for away fans not realising their team have scored at the opposite end, the Danish media's absurd player-ratings systems and niche player-on-player social media spats. Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a "90/10 tackle" might look like and enjoy a listener comparing his ability to board a Tube tra...
Mar 25, 2025•50 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name on Pointless, Wilfried Zaha confronts some modern footballing discourse head-on, Patrik Schick's uniquely selfish attacking statistics this season, a Europa League legend bows out, a pundit finally confronts the "players geeing up the crowd" epidemic, "the Lionel Messi of acting", soap-opera free transfers and a glorious Cliches tribute from an ice hockey co...
Mar 20, 2025•59 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the League Cup's modern status as a "springboard" for its winners, Gary Neville stealing Peter Drury's lines, Dan Burn and the "what a week he's having" threshold, the German concept of a "Sunday goal", some beautiful commentary vibrato, and Doncaster's manager on "swings and roundabouts". Meanwhile, the panel laud Thomas Tuchel's response to the now-traditional questions about singing the nati...
Mar 18, 2025•46 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the near-universal enjoyment of Liverpool vs PSG, second-tier German woodwork noises, some fascinating BBC archive content involving some disgruntled 1970s Match of the Day viewers, the most common object used to explain the offside law and much more. Meanwhile, the panel confidently predict some future England one-cap wonders, based on some historical criteria. Listen to, watch and fol...
Mar 13, 2025•1 hr 7 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a very appropriate Glastonbury slot for one football-adjacent artist, Sky's obsession with Arsenal's 11.2-yard wall at a Manchester United free kick, LinkedIn's latest football breakthrough, a tremendous Footballers’ Names in Things from Down Under, some unacceptable self-co-commentary at 5-a-side and, finally, the answer to the question of what happens if you merge Richard Keys with Andy Gray....
Mar 11, 2025•1 hr
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker to pick a lineup of players who have provoked the most endless wider debate about their on-pitch roles. The selection process takes in the precise moment a certain type of goalkeeper became brutally obsolete, a stand-out choice at right-back, inverted left-backs, overadventurous centre-backs, England’s infamous "perennial left-sided problem", culture-war-starting midfielders and strikers who don't actually score. Meanwhile, the Adjudic...
Mar 06, 2025•1 hr 24 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some entry-level superlatives for Lionel Messi, Jean-Philippe Mateta and the "if you did that to someone on the street" test, some hugely undignified refereeing body language on the way for 2025/26, some technical issues with declaring "the fastest red card ever", a commentator in perfect sync with a stadium PA system and Eddie Howe describes the haka in the most Eddie Howe way possible. Meanwh...
Mar 04, 2025•46 min
The Football Clichés Quiz returns, with the pod aiming to end their dismal run of trivia form against Jonathan Wilson's football history podcast It Was What It Was The questions include: Bundesliga goals of the month, World Cup final equalisers, Englishmen abroad, Hungarian hat-tricks, a man who played against Kevin Keegan AND Cristiano Ronaldo, European clubs’ travel distances, four-letter FIFA nations, the average number of digits on the right hands of Uruguay’s goalscorers in the 1930 World C...
Feb 27, 2025•1 hr 54 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Liverpool can now be described as "champions-elect", Dion Dublin struggles with a meandering property analogy, a listener fact-checks a Match of the Day joke about Rishi Sunak, a slightly-too-niche football reference on a mainstream TV quiz show, and much more. Meanwhile, the panel ponder which Premier League manager is most likely to have an Athletic subscription and and the precise pa...
Feb 25, 2025•48 min
Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the various types of football-related social media profile pictures, the efficient language of mid-game team-mate praise, the correct level of thanks a ball boy should get from players and the appropriate celebration for an opposition own goal. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel en...
Feb 20, 2025•57 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the rare sound of a football crowd chuckling in unison, a definitive list of football’s acceptable “things-in-chief”, a deep dive into the nuances of Jude Bellingham’s La Liga dissent, some classic-style 96th-minute olé-ing from Argentina, Manchester City midfielders’ names in Northumbrian psych-folk, someone actually "whispering it quietly, but" and some supposedly frivolous footballing jargon...
Feb 18, 2025•56 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Champions League broadcasting quirks, Alan Shearer and the extinct art of crossing the ball, the most prefix-defying clubs of the 92, the rise and fall of managers "issuing a war cry" and much more. Meanwhile, the panel speculate on what would happen to a precocious goalscorer who couldn’t stop getting sent off. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The...
Feb 13, 2025•59 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary, a new Premier League low bar for irony, whether Southampton 0 Burnley 1 counts as an FA Cup upset, some inconvenient truths about Manchester City's trip to Leyton Orient, unexpected Portuguese footballers' names in things and home advantage in under-12s football. Meanwhile, the panel engage in some earnest Messi vs Ronaldo chat and agree...
Feb 11, 2025•56 min
The Football Clichés Quiz returns for another clash of niche football trivia, as the pod take on Match of the Day commentators James Fielden, Mark Scott and Chris Wise. The questions include: problematically-named second-tier Peruvians, Serie A broadcasters, fraudulent Fernandeses, Brentford substitutes of the early 2020s, Harry Redknapp’s go-to historical tyrant, incredibly obscure football theme tunes, guess the backwards commentary, and Happy Hunting Grounds. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, ...
Feb 06, 2025•1 hr 31 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Fabian Hurzeler upgrades the traditional football "basics", darts and chess offer their versions of "the 12th man", an unexpected superstar signing for Club Brugge, Premier League players wrestle with some traditional English football phrases, and much more. Meanwhile, the panel discuss the art of managers "sending a message to the board" and undertake a cultural review of Arsenal 5 Manchester ...
Feb 04, 2025•1 hr 1 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: yet another new rival for the "corridor of uncertainty", the media taking Ruben Amorim slightly too literally, a listener's deciding an appropriate scoreline for his hernia operation, more Ligue 1 voiceover curiosity, and a tribute to the soon-to-be-retired Eurosport brand. Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether referees really do "seek the limelight" and whether the new-look Champions Lea...
Jan 30, 2025•47 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Walker's Ribblesdale Rovers side have a relegation battle on their hands, a subtle misremembering of that Sir Alex Ferguson quote, Jamie Redknapp's curious refereeing vote of confidence, former England wingers on Antiques Roadshow, accidental UK garage from Ange Postecoglou, some pathological footballspeak in everyday life, yet more incorrect football chanting in adverts and, finally, an answer to the...
Jan 28, 2025•45 min
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Football Cliches podcast's fifth anniversary. The agenda includes: a Serie A commentary tribute from an unexpected source, the 1990 version of “if Lionel Messi did that, we’d all be raving about it”, yet another Premier League name in a true-crime documentary, co-commentator Gary Breen plucks some Barry Manilow out of nowhere, a one-time-only return for Premier League Years Playlist Bingo and a celebration of half a decade of ha...
Jan 23, 2025•1 hr 1 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more sub-standard depictions of football fans in advertising, football commentators’ names in Anglo-Australian crime dramas, the greatest substitution in the history of the Scottish Cup, the perennial joy of a stadium exclaiming something in perfect unison and a pedantic observation on Phil Foden's goal celebration. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the question: is this the most “what a...
Jan 20, 2025•56 min
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Chloe Petts to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are how football improves our basic maths, players' pointless pre-match Instagram content, a half-time dad joke from an Evertonian, the overrated significance of the England manager attending a game, the "portraitification of...
Jan 16, 2025•1 hr 1 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the FA Cup third round, Ray Parlour sums up the Second World War in 16 superb seconds, someone finally reveals who the best footballer in the world was in 1863, the Sam Allardici of building materials and the worst fake football commentary ever heard in the background of a Korean Netflix drama. Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Ab...
Jan 14, 2025•50 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Nick Miller and, for his 250th Cliches appearance, David Walker. On the agenda: Newcastle having “a little toe” in the Carabao Cup final, an updated cast list for the Roy Keane/Mick McCarthy film, whether a lob could ever "rattle the crossbar", a Liam Delap penalty that sounds like late-90s trip-hop, a defence of Ferencvaros' credentials as "giants”, some accidental footballspeak when switching broadband providers and much more. Meanwhil...
Jan 09, 2025•45 min
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the first Adjudication Panel of 2025. On the agenda: Richard Keys and Dwight Yorke disagree over Harry Maguire's 0.62xG miss, Don Goodman invents a new mid-game mini time period, Jonathan Pearce sounding like Axl Rose, a never-before-uttered animal analogy for a veteran goalgetter, a perfect hat-trick of Andy Townsending, Ange Postecoglou's barely-contained rage, a barman who has memorised every Premier League result ever and some f...
Jan 07, 2025•44 min
Ally McCoist on the animal kingdom, footballers' names in 1980s detective series, commentators answering their own rhetorical questions, the “bit of both” cultural revolution, Gary Lineker on the pod, some vintage Andy Townsend, the Pure European Championship XI, the career paths of Mick McCarthy and Steve Coogan finally colliding, Charlie Eccleshare’s iconic Talksport welcome, Richard Keys’s voice in things, a titanic but slapstick quiz battle against the Football Ramble and accidentally operat...
Dec 30, 2024•1 hr 28 min
The Football Clichés Quiz returns - and it's a niche footballing trivia rematch with the quiz specialists from the Career We Go podcast. The questions include: Exotically named offspring of Barclays-era flops, Boxing Day belters, Andy Gray’s imaginary conversations, guess the Christmas goalscorer from the commentary, geriatric South American strike partnerships, Match of the Day voiceover men, infuriating player career paths and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds. Adam's new book, Extra Time Beck...
Dec 24, 2024•1 hr 17 min
In a special edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, the Clichés team select some of their ultimate footballing fascinations and irritations. Among Adam, Charlie and Dave's selections are the enduring fallacy of relegation-threatened teams “fighting for their lives”, the theory behind the greatest lower-body aesthetic in football history, the haggard goalnets of midweek 5-a-side and the childish envy when new signings score on their debuts for your team's rivals. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel admire...
Dec 19, 2024•1 hr 11 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a new term for slapstick defending, a historic day for Premier League manager sackings, more accidentally operatic BBC commentary, some dubious red-card stadium music in Australia and much more. Meanwhile, the panel decide when Manchester City's "blip" became a "slump" and then a full-blown "crisis" and discuss the reported successors to Gary Lineker on Match of the Day. Adam's new book, Extra ...
Dec 17, 2024•42 min
