Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mick McCarthy on Steve Coogan playing him in a film, Charlton manager Nathan Jones takes on the weather, Martin Keown on the re-opening of Notre Dame, a curious injury league table from the BBC, Sky Sports commentators inexplicably sampled in experimental French electronica and a tautologous Spanish non-league club. Meanwhile, the panel try to identify the most finger-wagging player and...
Dec 12, 2024•43 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Cole Palmer's perfect Panenka, the latest breach of Match of the Day protocol, the minor media obsession with getting managers to admit their team is in the title race, obscure mid-90s Spurs midfielders in Netflix comedies and the dream scenario for fans ridiculing the opposition goalkeeper's goal kicks. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the Club World Cup’s group of death and pick apart the “good ...
Dec 10, 2024•44 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some baffling new transferspeak, some glorious audio of away fans thinking they've scored and being immediately ridiculed by the home crowd, the nichest FA Cup draw content you will ever consume, more average mid-90s English wingers’ names in things and Richard Keys going 80% Partridge as he presents from the 1988 Motor Show. Meanwhile, the panel ponder what a club legend would have to ...
Dec 05, 2024•39 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the mainstream media jump on the Pep Sacking Threshold bandwagon, some beautifully unnecessary detail about a headed goal, a commentator lets down Robbie Savage very gently, former Blackburn wingers' names implicated in boat murders, the first ever goal uploaded to YouTube, a Harry Redknapp headline for the ages and Keys & Gray visit the Qatar Grand Prix. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the m...
Dec 03, 2024•41 min
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are free-kick decoy duties in Sunday League, predicting the moment the "olés" are about to start as a team sees out a comfortable win, the delicate act of picking balanced teams for 5-a-side, football's vandalism of the word "decimated", minute's applause that begin in the wron...
Nov 28, 2024•48 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: A new world record for away fans slowly realising their team has scored, Mark Schwarzer ties himself in chronological knots, Martin Keown lavishes himself with the highest footballing praise, famously unfriendly footballers’ names in American T-junctions and Keys & Gray’s ill-fated 2011 bid to break into the app market. Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive Manchester City defeat...
Nov 26, 2024•45 min
The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly unnecessary admin-theatre of both teams setting up for a free kick, the demise of calling free transf...
Nov 21, 2024•1 hr 30 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman. Meanwhile, the panel gauge the...
Nov 19, 2024•39 min
The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players'...
Nov 14, 2024•1 hr 4 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more. Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier League Please VOTE for Football Cli...
Nov 12, 2024•38 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company. Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new ...
Nov 07, 2024•45 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners. Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of...
Nov 05, 2024•45 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat. Meanwhile, the panel est...
Oct 30, 2024•45 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends. Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manage...
Oct 29, 2024•44 min
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeep...
Oct 23, 2024•1 hr 8 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about ...
Oct 22, 2024•45 min
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to decide the most famous match from football history to go with (almost) every scoreline. A bore draw or a backs-to-the-wall job for 0-0? Can a 1-1 draw ever be "iconic"? A 3-2 win that had a whole book written about it, Forfar 5 East Fife 4, a surprising dearth of truly legendary 6-0s, Puskas vs Le Tissier in the battle for the definitive 6-3 and a very exotic 10-0 at the Maracana. Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, P...
Oct 17, 2024•1 hr 21 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the most cliche-aware player in the Premier League, acceptable football references at the darts and unacceptable football references in financial TV dramas, daytime TV quiz show couples who sound like footballers, a Premier League-backed project to teach the world the language of English football and Richard Keys’ voice briefly appearing in the most random of places. Meanwhile, the panel provide...
Oct 14, 2024•41 min
The Football Clichés Quiz returns with a visit from a two-man team from the venerable Football Ramble podcast for a battle of niche football trivia. The questions include: The Eredivisie or Neverdivisie, failed UK petitions, Watford or Notford, Football things dubbed into various European languages, Sven’s CV, football-adjacent Olympic sports that never were, the 1997 Sony MiniDisc Euro Sixes, the agonising audio of mystery missed sitters, surprisingly unmemorable Premier League mascots, Happy H...
Oct 10, 2024•1 hr 20 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether a goalkeeper can qualify for the "who else but...?" treatment, David Beckham on air ambulances, the most colours ever bled by a figuratively cut-open footballer, whether Liverpool really are "going under the radar" and doing the maths on Richard Keys' claim to have watched every Premier League game ever. Meanwhile, the panel weigh up the most “you could see what he was trying to do ther...
Oct 08, 2024•45 min
The pod welcomes AwayDays Youtube supremo Ellis Platten for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Ellis's selections are football fans with their first names printed on the back of their shirts, random football shirts popping up in unexpected places, the dubious criteria of the ongoing FootyScran project and, quite simply, everything about fantasy football. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel weigh up if a goalkeep...
Oct 03, 2024•1 hr 15 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a baffling Premier League incident depicted on a birthday card, an accidental new nickname for Micky van de Ven, Dutch football's rejection of the concept of top and bottom halves of a league table, a completely unwarranted use of "football club" by Tim Sherwood, rugby union claiming a try was a "screamer" and Mick McCarthy going into the jungle. Meanwhile, the panel attempt to define what it m...
Sep 30, 2024•44 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the shortest “spell” ever documented in football, the textbook body language of a player subbed off in the first half, people whose names sound like plausible Carabao Cup fourth-round ties, the best combined-years stat of all time and much more. Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a team being "in charge" and ponder a psychological experiment relating to second halves of match...
Sep 26, 2024•40 min
Adam Hurrey, David Walker, and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the joys of getting ready for five-a-side much earlier than you need to, the smug satisfaction of noticing something before the commentators do, the under-explored world of football TV studio furniture and the quintessential conditions for "nothing doing". Adam's new book, Extra ...
Sep 24, 2024•51 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: amateur league fortresses, Kylian Mbappe ascends to the "If Player X did that" throne, Mark Clattenburg's common-sense overload, some heart-stopping radio commentary from the San Siro, a disgraceful Carabao Cup hat-trick definition, a truly Dychian turn of post-match interview phrase, 2019/20 Brighton squad members popping up in BBC drama series Meanwhile, the panel detail the military ...
Sep 19, 2024•45 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a story of Sunday League admin woe, Jamie Carragher's vocal impression of a match ball waiting to be headed home, some typically made-up-sounding US soccer jargon, Callum Hudson-Odoi's goal-trademarking credentials, Referees Names in Things and the difference between "return fixtures" and "reverse fixtures". Meanwhile, the panel assure Oxford United that a three-sided stadium still be a "fortre...
Sep 16, 2024•58 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: predicting the cultural impact of Lee Carsley’s England reign, an Arsenal legend's name in the NFL, the acceptable context to use the word "side" for a team, yet more football-chant confusion in the audiobook world, and Richard Keys and Andy Gray's visit to Jon Obi Mikel's podcast. Meanwhile, the panel decide which specific scorelines someone could say they would have “taken before the game” an...
Sep 11, 2024•55 min
Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and, on loan from the Career We Go podcast, Bobby Faghihi. On the agenda: the Nations League receives another stamp of approval from the language of football, some time-bending commentary from the Asian zone of World Cup qualifying, David Pleat provides a poetic twist on a Proper Football Man classic, unacceptable language from the Man Utd ticket office, puzzling penalty shootouts for England Under-18s, Elon Musk's "Earth-Mars trans...
Sep 10, 2024•52 min
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the official Football Cliches Sporcle quiz, a beautifully baffling inclusion in a European footballer’s Wikipedia “Style of Play” section, elite-level football small talk in an early-2000s BBC drama series, the rather familiar name of New Zealand's 100m national record holder, an awkward footballing jigsaw-puzzle analogy and some scanning issues in the popular chant of "You're not fit to referee!"...
Sep 05, 2024•40 min
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Jack Lang on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Charlie Eccleshare's Talksport tennis cameo, Peter Drury's new goalscoring surname obsession, Eddie Howe on Oasis goes exactly as you'd imagine, some assorted transfer-window curiosities, Andy Townsend speaks in iambic pentameter and some viral refereeing video content nobody asked for. Meanwhile, the panel decide if the "minute mark" of a game could ever be a thing, debate whether a lob can be "b...
Sep 04, 2024•46 min
