In this deeply insightful episode, I sit down with Dr. Emma Katz to discuss the phenomenon of coercively controlling fathers sabotaging mothers' relationships with their children. Dr. Katz introduces the term “child and mother sabotage” (CAMS) to replace the often co-opted term “parental alienation,” highlighting its roots in coercive control and its frequent targeting of mothers. Dr. Katz explains how societal sexism plays a critical role in these dynamics, amplifying the harm done to mothers a...
Dec 10, 2024•52 min•Ep. 305
What is Christmas Magic? Do you feel like you're missing out? Here's an idea that might help you have the most magical Christmas of your entire life this year, and your circumstances don't even have to change. Resources mentioned: Podcast episodes and articles related to holiday challenges HERE. Flying Free (for Christian women stuck in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships, families of origin, or religious communities) Flying Higher (for Christian women ready to move forward from ab...
Dec 08, 2024•12 min
In this personal and anecdotal episode, I reflect on a recent car accident that changed my perspective on pain, resilience, and staying present. Drawing from my own experience of navigating physical injury, emotional turmoil, and life's unexpected disruptions, I want to share some valuable lessons on accepting pain and choosing who we want to be in the midst of it. Key Takeaways Pain is a Universal Experience : Everyone faces pain in various forms. Adjusting expectations helps to navigate life’s...
Dec 03, 2024•34 min•Ep. 304
If you've ever wondered "is my child an abuser?" you'll want to listen to this Flying Higher moment. Learn more: Flying Free Flying Higher
Dec 01, 2024•19 min
In today’s episode, I interview Natalie Deering, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and host of That Wellness Podcast. Together, we explore practical and spiritual approaches to anxiety, offering tools to transform anxiety from an adversary into an ally. We discuss personal experiences, explain key IFS concepts like "trailheads," and share exercises to regulate the nervous system and foster self-compassion. Key Topics Discussed: Understanding anxiety as a trailhead (find out what a trail...
Nov 26, 2024•48 min•Ep. 303
Introducing Flying Higher Moments: A short little weekly insight into topics that are important to you. Today we talk about the parts of us that want to hang onto things in case we might need them AND the parts of us who think that's dumb. Let's talk about decluttering! Resources mentioned: All the Scary Little Gods Flying Free Flying Higher...
Nov 24, 2024•13 min
The link to register for this week’s FREE Q&A with the founder of Aimee Says, Anne Wintemute, is HERE ! This Q&A will take place on Saturday, November 23 at 11:00 am Central Time. Again, you can register for this event on Zoom HERE . In this compelling episode, Natalie Hoffman talks with Anne Wintemute, founder of Aimee Says , an innovative AI tool designed to support abuse survivors. Natalie and Anne explore how Aimee Says provides both immediate, compassionate assistance and long-term ...
Nov 19, 2024•48 min•Ep. 302
In this episode, I interview Dr. Stephanie Holmes to explore the unique challenges and dynamics within neurodiverse marriages. We talk about how Autism interacts with faith, how religion plays into neurodiversity, the difference between abusers and neurodiverse individuals, and how neurodiverse couples can navigate their relationships more effectively. Dr. Holmes shares insights from her extensive experience working with these couples. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Relat...
Nov 12, 2024•51 min•Ep. 301
We are celebrating 300 episodes of the Flying Free podcast by looking at where this podcast started, what has been accomplished since then, and where we are heading in the future! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote another book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse . My...
Nov 05, 2024•27 min•Ep. 300
In today’s episode, I answer a listener's question about co-parenting with an abusive ex and challenge the idea of "working together" with abusers. You’ll learn the importance of shifting the focus away from the abuser and toward personal healing and growth. Key Takeaways: Stop investing emotional energy into trying to "fix" or "work with" an abusive person. It's a cycle that leads nowhere. Redefine what it means to be a "father"—biological ties do not make someone a healthy or safe parent. Avoi...
Oct 29, 2024•28 min•Ep. 299
In this episode, Natalie interviews guest Anne Blythe, a leader in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community. Together, they discuss the profound impact of sharing survivor stories, how lived experience can be just as valuable as formal expertise, and the damaging effects of sexual coercion in abusive relationships. Anne also sheds light on critical issues like manipulation, trauma, and reclaiming safety. Some Key Takeaways: Sexual Coercion and Abuse : Anne emphasizes how sexual coercion is often a...
Oct 22, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 298
In today’s episode, I have a powerful and insightful discussion with guest speaker Bob Hamp as part of a live Q&A we did with members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope about the complexities of emotions, particularly anger, and the challenges faced by those in emotionally abusive relationships. Here’s a summary of the key points and concepts: 1. Understanding Emotions: Emotions as Drivers : Emotions are energy in motion that propel us forward and should be embraced rather than repressed. Indic...
Oct 15, 2024•35 min•Ep. 297
Understanding and Overcoming Emotional Abuse: A Journey to Personal Freedom In this episode of the Flying Free Podcast, Natalie reflects on the power of transformation and shares profound insights from both the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community and the personal stories of women who are seeking freedom from abusive relationships. With heartfelt testimonials and a listener’s deeply personal question about navigating a difficult separation, this episode delves into the complexities of emotional ab...
Oct 08, 2024•21 min•Ep. 296
Aimee Byrd, a well-loved guest of the Flying Free Podcast, is back again to tell us the story behind her newest book, The Hope in Our Scars. It’s not a pretty present of a book, wrapped in neat paper and topped with a bow. It’s real, it’s raw, and it’s full of beauty, and that’s exactly what this conversation is as well. Aimee went through some unfathomable spiritual abuse and says, “That's what led me to write The Hope in Our Scars because I did find Christ intimately present with me through th...
Oct 01, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 295
Have you ever gotten a toxic text from a friend, a family member—maybe your spouse? The women in our Flying Free Kaleidoscope have the opportunity to post the toxic texts they receive so that we can help them process, and I came across one I just couldn’t wrap my brain around, it was so incredibly full of toxicity and falsities. So today’s episode is breaking down this particular abusive text that one of my members received, and honestly, it can actually be quite interesting once you get the han...
Sep 24, 2024•34 min•Ep. 294
Have you ever wondered, “Am I really being emotionally abused? Is it considered emotional abuse if my spouse is lying to me? Gaslighting me? Ignoring me? What are the kinds of mistreatments we can actually call ABUSE? My friend, this is a question I’ve been answering for other women for almost a decade now. This is my my life’s work. My passion. Let me help guide you just a little bit in today’s episode as we do a deep-dive on emotional abuse: what it is, how it destroys lives, and what we can d...
Sep 18, 2024•42 min•Ep. 293
Many years ago I paid $150 an hour for counseling. If you do the math, that comes down to $25 for every ten minutes of her time. Yes. I was paying $25 for someone else to listen to me for ten minutes. I would tell her what new horrors I had experienced the week before, and then she would validate and empathize with me, and then I would go home. That’s expensive. $25 is a lot of money to pay for someone to listen to your troubles. And was it moving the dial in my life? Was it worth that $25 for t...
Sep 10, 2024•46 min•Ep. 292
Books are like buses. When you open up a book, it will take you to a new place. It will take you on a new adventure. Sometimes the book will take you on a journey of the imagination to a new country or a science fiction place. Sometimes the book will take you on a path of learning you've never explored before, and that path will lead you down other paths, and then those paths will lead you down even more paths, and you will be able to meander through information that delights your mind and opens...
Sep 03, 2024•38 min•Ep. 291
We read an incredible book in our book club that is a part of Flying Higher, my program for divorced Christian women. This book healed me in ways I didn’t expect, and I think the women in our book club would say the same. Our discussion on this book was so powerful that I just had to let you all listen to a portion of it, so that is what today’s episode is all about! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out the book we spent this whole episode talking a...
Aug 27, 2024•52 min•Ep. 290
“Do I have C-PTSD? Surely not—it’s not like I was a prisoner of war or something.” If you’re a victim of emotional abuse, you very well could have C-PTSD. In today’s episode, I want to introduce you to C-PTSD, how emotional and spiritual abuse can cause C-PTSD, what the symptoms are, and some practical ways that you can move forward and heal if you determine that you do have C-PTSD. I also want to debunk the theory that many emotional abusers have that their victims have Borderline Personality D...
Aug 20, 2024•38 min•Ep. 289
I’ve been busy doing all the things recently, so I wanted to give you all the inside scoop on what I’ve been up to. This includes going to an intense Personality Hacker conference, running a twelve-week coaching intensive, and helping women in the private forum (which is a part of the Flying Free program - we’d love to have you join us !) with some parenting quandaries. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out the Personality Hacker website and their po...
Aug 13, 2024•31 min•Ep. 288
Have you ever dealt with a Bible counselor who just doesn’t get it ? Or maybe an elder from your church? Or have you ever been excommunicated from your church? Sister, I’ve been through all of the above, and I write about bits and pieces of it in my newest book, All the Scary Little Gods . In today’s episode, I’m going to read three chapters from my book, and they all have to do with the different counselors and elders I dealt with during my emotionally abusive marriage. Grab your favorite bever...
Aug 06, 2024•42 min•Ep. 287
Have you ever felt guilty about taking care of yourself? “I don’t deserve to be taken care of, plus I have too many other responsibilities, how am I supposed to make time to take care of ME?!” Let me help dismantle this belief and show you that you do deserve some self-care, and, in fact, need it. I also received an interesting question in the Flying Free private forum about IFS (Internal Family Systems). This member wanted to know how she could accept and have compassion for her “bad” parts wit...
Jul 30, 2024•28 min•Ep. 286
One of our listeners submitted a heavy question asking about how long she has to let the abuse continue. The snagging point? She had an affair. So, what does one do if they have an affair while in an emotionally abusive relationship? Does that mean they now deserve to be in an abusive marriage until they die? What are their options, and how can we think about this? Join my candid conversation with Susan Estringel, one of our coaches within the Flying Free program, as we untangle this situation a...
Jul 23, 2024•38 min•Ep. 285
“Does God really hate divorce? And why haven’t my years of praying brought any fruit?” Abuse survivors ask me these two questions regularly, and today, I’m going to use Malachi 2:16 as well as a chapter from my newest book, All the Scary Little Gods , to answer them both. Beautiful butterfly, I pray this episode is an encouragement to you as you wrestle with these important topics. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Links to resources about the idea that Go...
Jul 16, 2024•33 min•Ep. 284
Joining me for today’s fascinating episode is Dan Koch, podcaster and spiritual abuse researcher. Dan has created an incredible tool called the Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale, and he breaks it down for us as we talk about spiritual abuse and the heavy impact it has on people’s lives. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out Dan’s Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale . Also mentioned in today’s podcast episode was Dr. Keller’s Spiritual Abuse Questionnaire...
Jul 09, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 283
Sometimes a woman will say, “I decided to leave, but now my abuser is being so nice to me! What should I do?” Unless an abuser has found a new source of supply, the abuser will want to maintain control over you. He’s been observing what makes you tick for a long time. He's been observing what works and doesn’t work to emotionally manipulate you. He knows how to both push all your buttons AND pull on your heartstrings. One of the ways he knows he can pull on a nice girl's strings is to simply mak...
Jul 02, 2024•55 min•Ep. 282
“In this book, I want to share parts of my journey paired with reflections based on my background as a biblical scholar to make available forgiveness paths different from the harmful ones so often proffered in the name of God .” Susannah Griffith’s book, Forgiveness After Trauma , does exactly that, and it is now my absolute favorite book on forgiveness. In today’s episode, Susannah and I sit down and talk about how we can look at forgiveness in a more healing way than we are accustomed to. Read...
Jun 25, 2024•45 min•Ep. 281
Abusers will project their own inner identity and issues onto their victims. Let’s talk about what that means, how it impacts a survivor, and what you can do about it. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: The YouTube video that inspired this episode, “ Projective Identification Explained .” The book by Tina Swithin I mentioned, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle . My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods , is a spiritual memoir about healing from relig...
Jun 18, 2024•20 min•Ep. 280
Dr. Christy Bauman has written yet another beautifully rich book, and in today’s episode, you will get a sneak peek! Her Rites: A Sacred Journey for the Mind, Body, and Soul takes you on a journey through each of a woman’s six rites of passage and empowers women through words, art, and music. In today’s episode, we discuss What does birthright mean for Christian women? What is God’s legacy through women? How does the rite of exile impact female survivors? How does the rite of intuition empower w...
Jun 11, 2024•52 min•Ep. 279
