Meg & James - Must Love Dogs

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Meg is on the phone today for a first date follow up and she's getting ghosted by a guy named James. So in a few minutes, we're gonna call him and see if I tells us why he's ghosting her and maybe get her another date. But first, Meg, how long has it been since you heard from James.

Here's the deal.

We live in the same building, so I actually saw him. Yeah, I know, so I see him in the elevator all the time. So I actually saw him like this morning, and uh, it's a little bit awkward just because of all of this. So but I haven't heard, like, he hasn't kind of followed up by a text or phone, which is what I was kind of waiting for, you know what I mean.

Yeah, So, did you reach out to him other than seeing him in the elevator. No.

Well, here's so at the end of our date, which went really well, by the way, so that's yeah, So I was sort of expecting a call, and then this morning when I saw him, I just kind of was like, I have to say some things I haven't heard from him, So I just said like, like, hey, you know, do you want to go for dinner sometime, And he basically said I'll get back to you, which I feel like is a bad sign.

Yeah probably, Yeah, yeah, exactly right.

But it was so great, Like we went to this trivia night that he had been telling me about because you know, I had seen him in the elevator. We'd make small chat all the time. I actually have a tiny confession that I would kind of plan to be in the elevator when he was there.

Yeah, I was like, oh, if I keep running into this guy, so yeah, so I kep like running into him and we were chatting and he had told me with this trivia night, and then finally he asked me out, which I was really psyched about, and we just like had this great night.

We even went back to his place afterwards and we had a great night cap and I don't want to be not PG thirteen, but we had a pretty great kid at the end of it. So so anyway, that's why I was totally expecting to hear from him. So I don't know, I don't.

Know, well, did something happen, did anything actually go down on the date that may have made it a little bit awkward or that you felt like was a turning point.

Well, here's obviously I have been analyzing this for days because it's all I can even get sure. So yeah, so the only thing. So I started to go, Okay, maybe it was this because like my sister, she's going through a bit of a bad kind of breakup right now. She's a single mom, so she's having a hard time. She did call me a couple of times. Oh, it might have been like three or four times when we were on the date, and I did answer because I just knew, you know, and at the time I wasn't thinking.

Anything about it, or did he seem annoyed by that?

Okay, full disclosure. One of them may have come when we were kind of making out a little bit, So I guess he seemed a little annoyed when that got cut off, but he didn't say anything. It was just kind of I kind of feel like, I guess, yeah, that was kind of the end of the night sort of thing. So but he didn't say anything about it, Like he just was like, Okay, you know, good night.

Did he know who you were talking to? Like, did he know that was your sister that was calling?

I mean, I told him it was. But now I'm thinking, like, did he believe me? Does he think that, you know, I was, you know, screwing away to talk to some other guy, Like does he think I'm in a relationship or something like? Now, I'm not sure because that's what I told him, But I don't know. Would I be suspicious probably to be honest.

So what was the last thing you texted him?

The last thing? Oh, the last So the last thing I texted him was had a great time, you know, thanks, thanks for the thanks for the night, because of course he paid for dinner and you know everything. So I said, thank you, I hope to see you again. And then that was after I left, and then I didn't hear anything back from that, and then saw him in the elevator this morning. So that's where we're at.

That's awkward.

That's an awkward elevator, right, all right, we'll see if we can figure it out for you. Then we'll play a song come Back, and then call him and see if he'll tell us why is ghosting you and maybe get you another date?

Okay, okay, all right, thanks guys.

Okay, we'll play a song come back. Gave your first a follow up next if you're just joining us for today's first day follow up. Meg is on the phone and she's getting ghosted by a guy named James. So we're about to call him and see if he'll tell us why is ghosting her and maybe get her another date. But before we do that, Meg, why don't you catch everybody up on your situation?

Yes?

Okay, So I went out with this amazing guy, James, who lives in my building. I see him all the time in the elevator. He finally asked me out. We had a great time, there was even some makeouts. But it's been like, oh my god, it's been weeks now. He has not responded to my last text, and I've recently seen him in the elevator and basically said, hey, do you want to go for dinner sometime, and he basically said I'll get back to you, which doesn't feel positive.

Yeah all right, And the reason you think you might be getting ghosted is because you kept answering your phone, right, I did.

My sister kept calling during the date and she's having a tough time, so I did keep answering my phone. Well, yeah, to be honest.

So yeah, all right, Well are you ready for us to call him and see if I tell us why?

Oh? Good?

Yeah, I think I'm ready. I'm nervous, but I'm ready.

Here we go. Hi, I'm asking to James. Please.

Yeah, this is changed, James.

How you doing?

Man?

My name is Jewbell. I'm calling from a radio show. It's called The Jewbel Show.

Hi, James, the show's here too. I'm Nina, Hi, and I'm Victoria.

How are you?

Hey?

I'm good? What's up? Not much?

Have you heard the show before?

Ever?

Have something to do with like first dates or something? Yes?

Actually it does.

Yeah.

We do a segment on the show it's called the first Day follow Up, So where if you go out on a date with somebody and you up ghosting them, they can email us to get you on the phone and ask why.

So, we got an email about you from somebody. That's why we're calling.

Oh my god, I actually have before. Oh my god, Oh my god.

Yes, we got an email about you.

Okay, are you sting somebody?

Yeah?

You have any idea who?

Yeah, honestly, I'm pretty sure I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, okay, who do you think it is?

Meg? Yes?

It is Meg. She also told us she saw you this morning in the elevator. That's awkward.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep, we did. We're in the ovator.

We live in the same building, so it's kind of hard not to sometimes.

Can you tell us why you're ghosting her? She said she really liked you a lot. She's confused.

Yeah, all right, here's the story. So, I mean, yeah, honestly, we did have a great date. I had a good time, and you know, she's super nice, beautiful. I think we did have some chemistry. But the real deal breaker for me, and this might sound like a small thing, but it's big to me, she let it slip that she doesn't like dogs, and that is a huge deal.

Breaker for me.

Do you have a dog?

No, I don't have a dog.

Right now, we're not allowed to have dogs in our buildings.

But I'm planning on buying a house someday and I definitely am getting a dog when I have my house. I grew up a dog. I love dogs. It's just something I can't live without having in my life.

I wonder what she would say, though, if you were like, I need to have dogs.

But what did she say? Like she say like she absolutely hated dogs. She just didn't like them, she's allergic to them.

Well, she was complaining about one of her friends bogs and just kind of complaining about the smell and the mess that I make all the time, and just kind of like was like, you know, complaining about this one dog. But then like let it get to the point of like, and that's because of that I don't like dogs at all and not for me. It was like, you're gonna judge all dogs based off this one dog that it is not for me.

That's just not for me, man.

So that's it, just that she doesn't like dogs that honestly, Yeah.

It's a huge deal breaker for me.

Like you like, sure you could, you can tolerate dogs, but I got to have a dog, and I can't foresee myself having a future with somebody who just can't live with a dog.

In their lives.

Ran, everybody's got their thing. I've never met anybody that doesn't like dogs.

Yeah, I haven't either.

But also I would do try to say, like Devil's Advocate, like it could be maybe her friend just really is bad take like not great at taking care for dogs?

Is that like bad to say?

I could see that, But you know, then you then you like you got to feel some pity for that dog and not just complain about it. You talk to your friend, right, That's it was just a total deal breaker for me.

The way you had to hear it.

I don't know, it's just to say the things that.

She was saying, because it was it was a gut punch to me.

Maybe you should just ask her because she is on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

Oh yeah, hy Jane's.

Hey, yeah, hey, I fort about this.

Part I got. I can't believe this, Like my god, and if I had like a hundred guesses, I would never guess this is why you're ghosting me.

Listen. It's just like, this is why I didn't want to bring it up.

It feels like a little thing to a lot of people, but it's a big thing to me. It's a big part of my life. And you know, I really did feel like we had some chemistry and you know, and but just it's a hard no.

For me that it's a real deal breaker.

But oh my god, we did.

Listen, I agree.

I think we had like amazing chemistry, including on that night, like the build up to our first date all that stuff. And I guess I'm just like, okay, what if it was like I'm okay, I could learn to be okay around dogs, like I just wouldn't like kept them as if I was around a dog, I could be okay with dogs. If not that I think they're evil, I just don't like them. They're like I do think they're messy. And there's all these dog here everywhere and like whatever. But I mean, does that change.

That's what I'm talking about. This is this is what I'm talking about.

This is a no for me, absolutely not Like you can't even get for a sentence without saying something negative.

I mean, I guess, but like it could be worse. I just feel like there's so many worse things. Like it's not like I'm like a murderer or like a stalker, like, and I would like, those are real reasons to not be with somebody.

I just feel like, I don't know, someone who doesn't like those could be a murderer.

Okay, So I just feel like this is.

Such I mean, is that a thing like where you like, don't trust people who don't like people say that, and I'm like, what does that even mean? Like you don't trust people who don't like dogs like or you absolutely.

Don't trust people who don't like dogs. That is a hard line. Absolutely don't try.

You know, I was thinking it might have been fun for a one night stand, which is why I let it get as far as it did.

But I'm kind of done at this point. It's a hard note for me.

Wow, okay, And now knowing that you were just like hanging on for one night stand starts to make it feel like a no for me too. So that was a little a little much to hear. So what do I and now if this is great? We live in Like, what am I supposed to do? When I see you in the elevator? We can ignore all of this?

And well, I don't know, you know what time I ride the elevator every day? Maybe you can avoid getting in the elevator with James.

Would you like to go on another day with Meg? Will pay for it?

No?

Thank you?

Okay, I mean I thought yeah, if I mean we could get together and talk it out in person and.

Not like this. No.

Thanks, I do not want to be murdered.

All right, Well I guess you got your answer. Meg and James. Thank you. Thank you for telling us.

Yeah, thank you. I really do like the show.

Thanks, thank you, Jules.

First date follow up