First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys online at adocuslaw dot com.
Lisia is on the phone today for a first day follow up and she's getting ghosted by a guy named James. So in a second, we're gonna call him and see if I'll tell us why he's a ghostinger and maybe get her another date. But first, Lesia, how long has it been since you heard from James.
Yeah, it's been about a week.
And then how many times have you reached out to him in that time?
Yeah, like kind of a bunch. I was, uh, you know, I was texting a bunch. You know, we had a great connection and you know, you know, I was we were trying to get together, and you know, I texted a few times, and you know, we had a plan. He canceled. We felt like he needed the weekend to recover. I offered to make him soup wish. He declined, and I, you know, and then after that I texted him a couple of times. He's feeling and like nothing.
So did your date happen or this was after the date?
No? Well, well we had a first date, okay, okay, but then after that nothing happened.
Okay, Well, tell us about the date.
Well, we met Unhinge first of all, and like we talked a little bit, and we wanted to go out because we both like really like food and travel and stuff. And he's in a band and I used to sing in a band, so we had like a lot of great connections. And so we met for cocktails and we like bounced around and got tacos and ended up at this like karaoke place, which was really fun. After karaoke, we went back to his place and we were hanging
out and like cuddling and stuff. But we did look up, but there was like a lot of like affection myself. And in the morning we kissed and like we pramned on seeing each other again like the next weekend. So that was the date.
Is there anything that happened on the date that could have been awkward or something that would cause him to not want to talk to you again?
So I talked this over a bit, and I think there might have been which I like won't apologize for, and like I've been feeling bad about it. So like when we were like hanging out and cuddling, he like pulls on his phone to play me, like a rough edit of his band's new song, and I was excited
to hear it. I was glad he wanted to share it with me, and you know, because I love the music background, I didn't feel like I knew to hold back what I thought, you know, So I mean I told him, I was like, I think this is like a great idea for a song. I said, like some of the lyrics were a little cheesy, and you know, the voice was a little picky and certain points, and like one of the lyrics in particular was like about her love being like a sugar rush eating a box of Kristy cream or something.
Okay, I like laughed at that, and then.
I kept like asking him if I made him feel like he was eating a box of Kristy cream. And I thought I was being funny, like I was joking, and like I think I may have crushed him. I don't know, maybe I took it too far, so I feel like he could apologize. Yeah, but I mean it.
Sounds like you were being more playful. Yeah.
No, I was just saying that's how I felt, but that's what the intention was.
Jubill, you are doing music now, too, so like think about this scenario. Wouldn't it be just kind of cute, like you're not are you going to be offended? No, I wouldn't be.
I'm also a super harsh critic on myself, so I'd be like, you're right, the whole thing is craft.
I'll throw it out, you're my all over, I quit it all.
So I would just totally be like, yeah, thanks for the honest feedback I saw.
That would also be a major turnoff and problem also, Okay, so maybe maybe he was a little but hurt. Maybe, I mean it might be.
So I feel like, I don't know. I feel like we need to get him on the phone, Like you need to get a third party and to get him on the phone folk and just ghosting me, so like I just want to apologize.
Cool, We'll try to figure it out for you. We'll play a song and we'll come back and then we'll call him and see if it tell us why he's ghosting you and maybe get you another date with Krispy Kreme boy. Okay, all right, should we not call him Krispy Crean boy?
Try he disappeared?
All right, Well, pleas An'll come back and get your first a follow up next right in the middle of our first date. Follow up if you're just joining us. Lesha is on the phone and she's getting ghosted by a guy named James. So we're about to call him and see if you'll tell us why he's ghostinger and maybe get her another date. But first, Lisha, why don't you catch us up on your situation?
Yeah, So, I when I a date with this guy James, it like went really well. We had cocktails and tacos, and we had karaoke and all this stuff, and you know, we bonded because he's in a band and I used to sing in a band, and you know, we have a lot of common interests. And I feel like and he hasn't tested me back in a week, so and I feel like something might have gone wrong the night we were on the date. I feel like I might have kind of heard his feelings making fun of one
of his lyrics which involves speak, which I kept springing up. No, I don't know. I feel like I might have sent him and I need to apologize. And also he's ghosting me.
So that's where we are, all right, Are you ready for us to call him?
Sure?
Okay, here we go. Hello, Hi, I speaking to James. Please, yeah, speaking James, how are you?
Man?
My name is Jewbell. I'm calling from a radio show. It's called the Jebel Show.
Hi, James, I'm Nina also on the show. Hi, and I'm Victoria. How are you?
Oh? Cool, wonderful. I'm doing good man, I'm getting any calls on radio? But what's up?
Have you ever listened to the show before?
Yeah?
Yeah, okay, thank you? Yeah. Have you ever heard of first day follow up before? Oh?
Yeah, yeah I have? This is this one of these things?
First day follow up?
You know that's a segment where if you're ghosting somebody, they can email us and then ask us to call you and ask why you're ghosting them.
Some what he emailed us about you? James?
Oh boy?
Any idea? Who would be?
Yeah?
Maybe someone I met someone online, like a little more than a week ago.
Is that someone's name? Lisha?
Yeah? Yeah, Lisha?
Oh yeah yeah. Well.
Lisia emailed us and told us about your day. She said she really liked you, but she's confused. Can you tell us why you're ghostinger?
I really liked her, but man, she's too much.
She texted me on Saturday to ask about Well, first of all, I got sick, right, So, like I got sick a little bit afterwards, but not the runa nothing, but like, you know, she texted me on Saturday to ask me about soup, and then again to tell me good night and then text me a list of vitamins I should be taking.
Because you were sick.
Yeah, you know, it was.
Like it was like a trip or a DoorDash GNC. You know, the whole bag fall, Like not soon after asking if I missed her, this this whole thing about like if I wanted Krispy Kremes, Like asking if I wanted Krispy Kreme.
It's a it's a joke about some stupid lyric.
I made, and and and I mean just more text on and on and on.
I'm not need doing you.
All that was all in one day. That happened all on the same day.
Yeah, and this is someone I had just talked to online.
They came over, we cuddled.
I mean, the sweet it was great, you know, don't get me wrong, But after all this just piling on and just happening so soon I just stopped responding.
Because like I needed to rest and I wake up. It's like, I mean, I lose like twelve text messages from her.
I don't respond, but I get even more the next day.
Eventually, I just I just block her because I feel like that kind of energy I felt it gives me a lot of anxiety, like and I'm gonna go with the flow kind of guy. And when I just kissed Raw, it's like, first off, it doesn't know, we feel better, but then it's like, this is someone I just met. Sweet girl. I mean, she came over, it was great, the day was amazing, Karaoke was fun, and yeah, like we talked that it was going to turn into something.
But then the text, just the messaging, it was just nah, nah, it was just a note going.
I mean, it sounds like she was just concerned because you were sick. Now, granted, twelve and maybe twenty four text messages might be a lot in two days, but the initial reached out probably was kind of nice. Though.
No, I mean, I get it, she's very sweet, but it's just someone I just started talking to online, and it just started giving me the vibe that this is the kind of person that's.
Going to give me a whole lot of anxiety. I just wanted peace, Okay.
Well, speaking of Keith, James, I will let you know that Lisa's actually on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.
Why.
Oh huh, Alicia do a problem getting close to people, Like do you know how to ask someone cares about you? Like I was just trying to show you that I cared and I'm like actually a good caretaker in like times like this.
I get it, but.
It's just we just had one date after a little bit of online conversation, and I just feel Look, you're sweet, wonderful, but I just feel that we're nowhere close to the come.
Over and make me stop stage of this relationship.
Oh okay, Well you said on your hind that you wanted to be intentional about the time we spend together and to prioritize the growth, and I feel like I was doing that. So I don't know what there is about this that you know you wouldn't like, can we.
Go further than or can we have a relationship first? Can we like have some other there's there's steps to.
This before Okay, wait wait, I'm not ready to be in a relationship with you.
Oh look, that's that's that's not what I said.
Okay, that's that's not what I said.
It's I feel there's a little miscommunication here.
Well, I mean, I'm not, Well, you just mentioned wanting to have a relationship first, Like you talked about me texting a lot, and you're already talking about a relationship. So I don't know what the problem is with my texting when you're like, I want a relationship right now? What.
No, I'm not I'm not saying right now.
It's just that I just don't want to jump into things that just lead to anxiety.
And just like already we're checking each other's mental health.
Like I'm just trying to just go go with the vibe that we had that was that was real good. It just felt like this was this was just in a different place, and I was just like, I don't want to grow with this.
You are living way too fast, James.
Look, I just I just I'm I'm all for like all those texts in the soup, but I just feel that there's there's just a sequence to it that just you know, rocks my boat a certain way. And like I'm sorry for for miscommunicating or or like you know, just going outside divide that we had. And I just feel I just feel like we want the wrong direction with that.
Well, James, would you like another date with Lisa? We'll pay for it.
James, I just so you know, I will go on another date with you, but I just want to let you know, like I'm not gonna get together with you right now, just so you know.
Yeah.
So, uh, like I said, I'm not interested in rushing in and getting together right now. I'm sorry about the miscommunication, but I'm wanting to give this another go, just as long as you don't mention the Krispy Kremes.
Okay, but we're not going to be like dating yet, Like this is just a date date, not like a dating date.
Look, don't worry, I'm not trying to wife you up just yet.
Wait a minute, you want to wipe me up like that? Hold on, why are we jumping to marriage.
I don't think James wants to marry you yet. I think you guys should just go out one more day and see how it goes.
Okay, okay, yeah, all right, you whiles first, depl