Cicero’s How to Be a Friend: Brainless Geniuses

It’s our special anniversary episode! We decided it was high time we figured out if we were doing this whole friendship thing right, so we checked in with the ancient Roman philosopher Cicero. Rachel refuses to relitigate the major theme of The Odyssey. Jackie gets TWO more cats, seriously! Theo reveals what he values above all else. Topics include: limericks yet again, two wolves, the fall of the Roman Empire, Caesar himself, Facebook vs. Meta, chickpeas, gorgeous beans, senex amators, chickpea money, Dr. Decenex, the freaking human centipede, street smarts, shameful sexual rendezvous, Golden Corral nepotism, elephants, Lord of the Rings (as usual), shufflating, Beethoven’s Third Symphony, the transitive property, Over the Garden Wall, Jacques Tati, the First Triumvirate, the first appearance of Theo’s Jimmy Stewart impression, our rival Obama, and the final fun-tier. Content warning: cannibalism, cancer, death