In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice...
Jul 01, 2025•1 hr 48 min•Season 6Ep. 2
In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage wi...
Feb 18, 2025•1 hr 7 min•Season 6Ep. 1
Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivo...
Oct 17, 2023•1 hr 33 min•Season 5Ep. 6
Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy, how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU, and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by coll...
Aug 31, 2023•1 hr 51 min•Season 5Ep. 5
Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podc...
Aug 24, 2023•2 hr 11 min•Season 5Ep. 4
Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved. Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/ Al...
Aug 08, 2023•56 min•Season 5Ep. 3
Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different expe...
Jul 25, 2023•21 min•Season 5Ep. 2
I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now. In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I sha...
Jul 11, 2023•52 min•Season 5Ep. 1
This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break! New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, focus on personal growth, and to doing lots of new and exciting things! You can check it out by following me on Twitch and Instagram, or ...
Feb 22, 2023•58 min•Season 4Ep. 15
Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard. A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later. A link will be included in episode notes when it is ready. Hecate's Links https://linktr.ee/Findin...
Feb 07, 2023•41 min•Season 4Ep. 14
Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, ...
Jan 31, 2023•1 hr 21 min•Season 4Ep. 13
My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk. Chie has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies. Internal Family Systems Therapy https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy Spoon Theory https://...
Jan 17, 2023•1 hr 37 min•Season 4Ep. 12
Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people on Webtoon. As she does her own trauma work she is helping survivors feel less alone. Obelis Linktree...
Jan 03, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Season 4Ep. 11
Kalpashree Gupta joins me to share her journey in healing from childhood sexual abuse. We discuss letting go of shame and blame, what forgiveness means to her, breaking cycles of family trauma, and where she's found strength, grace, and empowerment. Kalpa is the CEO and founder of Knekxt Group, a consulting and coaching company helping her clients build trust, and mitigate risks while also creating internal awareness for the high achievers who, like herself, have used their achievements to defle...
Dec 20, 2022•1 hr 21 min•Season 4Ep. 10
Michelle M. Kang is the founder and president of One Life One Heart, a nonprofit organization which helps underserved sexual abuse survivors by offering culturally sensitive community support. She has dedicated herself to creating safe spaces where survivors can feel heard, regain their self-confidence, and fulfill their purpose in life. Michelle was born in South Korea, she has PhDs in Linguistics and Education, and she is the current Dean of the School of Foreign Languages at Saigon Internatio...
Dec 06, 2022•1 hr 14 min•Season 4Ep. 9
Paula Mulamula is the host of the Mental Health podcast, Talk Shit With P where she focuses on real talk and breaking the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Today Paula is breaking her silence and sharing her story of surviving sexual assault and reclaiming her power post-trauma. She also shares how podcasting helped her find her way out of depression, how faith has re-entered her life and become a part of her healing, and how self-care helps her through the difficult times in life. Paula ...
Nov 22, 2022•2 hr 1 min•Season 4Ep. 8
Emi is a survivor of family sexual abuse; she was molested by a family member over a long period of time as a young kid. After spending over a decade hiding from her past she decided to try to heal from it. Her healing journey led her to starting her own podcast: Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics. Her co-host is her best friend Kayla, together they tackle the many difficult social and mental health issues that have affected their lives and made them who they are. In this episode Emi shar...
Nov 08, 2022•1 hr 33 min•Season 4Ep. 7
Hollis Brown's platform as Miss Wisconsin USA is focused on survivor advocacy, and she’s a part of End Violence Against Women International’s “Start By Believing” campaign. Today Hollis speaks about her assault in college, how trauma changed her life, where she has found strength, and the work she’s doing in the world. Originally from Savannah, Georgia and now residing in Milwaukee, Hollis Brown is a 26-year-old sports marketer, podcast host, mentor, public speaker, model, youth educator, nonpro...
Sep 13, 2022•1 hr 27 min•Season 4Ep. 6
Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid c...
Aug 30, 2022•1 hr 23 min•Season 4Ep. 5
Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adult fantasy author with a hero complex currently living in Orlando, Florida. She is an avid collector...
Aug 16, 2022•1 hr 39 min•Season 4Ep. 4
In 2006 I was assaulted and stalked by a monk in India. In this episode I share my journal entries recording this experience and then discuss the ways this trauma has affected my life. I discuss the intersecting issues of race, culture, and gender; as well as the importance of anti-racism work in trauma healing. I share the way that being assaulted while menstruating can affect the way trauma is embodied and experienced afterwards. During this experience I talked my way out of further violence o...
Aug 03, 2022•2 hr 4 min•Season 4Ep. 3
In this episode my friend Sage and I listen to audio we recorded two years ago during lockdown and reflect on it. We talk about (and feel our way through) some of the very intense systemic issues we're facing in America and in the world. We talk about self-care, finding ways to keep moving forward, staying resilient, and finding ways to engage and stay hopeful. Sage is the creator of Real Human Better, a Social Permaculture course and community. She loves permaculture, compost, food made with lo...
Jul 19, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Season 4Ep. 2
We're back! In this episode I'll be sharing what I've been up to on my break, what I have planned for this season of the podcast, and I'll be talking about a really rough day I had last week in the wake of Roe vs Wade being overturned. Letters for the Fire is back in Season 4! This is a listener participation project. I am inviting survivors to write a letter to their r*pist or abuser and then send it to me. It's is my hope that this will help others with catharsis and closure. I want you to fee...
Jul 06, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 4Ep. 1
This is the last episode of Season 3! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about my plans and exciting new content during my break, as well as letting you know about some changes moving forward with Season 4! New episodes will resume 7/5/22. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking the time during break to do lots of new and exciting things! I'm a Twitch Affiliate and you can hang out with me t...
Feb 24, 2022•22 min•Season 3Ep. 15
Earlier in Season 3 I invited listeners to participate in a project called Letters for the Fire. It was an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. I invited listeners to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I would read it in an episode, and then burn all of them in a ritual. Here are the letters I received from listeners. Thank you so much everyone who has made this powerful project possible! A link to a video video of the letters burning will be shared here later on, check back...
Feb 02, 2022•45 min•Season 3Ep. 14
In this episode I share my experience of anal rape, discuss the dangerous myth that boys/men/AMAB people can't control themselves, discuss consent, and talk about some of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to identify this particular assault as valid and as a rape. Sexual Assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Women and AFAB people experience anal rape too and it is not discussed enough. Because anal sex continues to be taboo in out culture there is an ...
Jan 21, 2022•47 min•Season 3Ep. 13
Vanessa is a veteran and a survivor of sexual assault within the military. Vanessa shares her story of trauma, her feelings of shame and lack of self-worth, and her spiral into depression which nearly ended in suicide. She found strength and she has moved into a place of growth, empowerment, self-love, and healing. Vanessa is sharing her story in the hope that it will help others find their own strength and feel less alone. Episode Notes https://www.rainn.org/ For Veterans: https://www.veteransc...
Jan 05, 2022•2 hr 24 min•Season 3Ep. 12
Kelly Thiel exited the notorious NXIVM cult and shares her journey with healing and deprogramming in the aftermath of indoctrination. She has taken her power back and is helping others to do the same. Kelly is an accomplished voice actress, author, speaker, consultant, and the driving force behind her new platform, Be Glorious. Kelly was a member of the NXIVM cult and after exiting she appeared in the critically acclaimed documentary “Seduced”. She is set to release her first book in January 202...
Dec 22, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Season 3Ep. 11
Denise Bossarte is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and now she is helping others heal. Join us for a conversation about Denise's healing journey as well as her beautiful book, "Thriving After Sexual Abuse: Break Your Bondage to the Past and Live a Life You Love". Denise Bossarte is an award-winning writer, poet, photographer, and artist. Denise is a certified meditation facilitator and contemplative arts teacher. She is an IT professional working for a large urban school district. Denise ho...
Dec 08, 2021•1 hr 49 min•Season 3Ep. 10
Anna grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family as part of the Quiverfull movement. She and her six siblings were not allowed to attend school and were very isolated from the outside world. Everything about her childhood was strictly controlled, from the clothes she wore to the media she had access to. She was expected to teach herself from primarily religious texts as well as teaching and caring for the younger children. Her future was laid out for her as a submissive wife and mother to many ...
Nov 24, 2021•2 hr 4 min•Season 3Ep. 9
