This week, Ali & Roark have the pleasure of welcoming comedian and podcaster Erica Spera on the podcast. Erica brings her vulnerability and humor to the pod to share her experience dating with herpes, bust herpes myths, and answer listener questions like when and how to disclose with a new partner. Also, Ali has updates galore this week after a weekend in DC and a new (well sorta) guy on the scene. Timestamps: Erica joins the show for Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 27:35 Where ...
May 02, 2022•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 63
This week, Ali & Roark cover listener questions in a Hot Topics episode. They start with a question about friends who choose to stay friends with your ex. Then, they tackle a question about disclosing *your own* red flags. And they conclude with a Dating Mythbusters question – do men just decide they’re ready one day? During the Updates portion, Roark accidentally hard launches Lots of Dogs, and Ali has a fabulous date with the Disco Ball! Timestamps: Topic Talk begins at around 22:00 If you...
Apr 24, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 62
She blinded us with science! Ali & Roark are joined by Dr. Abby Medcalf – a psychologist who tells them all about how the brain affects our relationships. The focus of the conversation is closure – what is it, why do we want it, and how can we get – but Abby goes much further and they probably could have talked for hours because she is so darn lovely and interesting. During Updates, Roark recounts an epic Phone Throwing Moment in her friend-group group chat, and Ali goes on a first date and ...
Apr 18, 2022•2 hr 37 min•Ep. 61
The stars align this week as Ali & Roark get to talk to astrologer Aliza Kelly. Aliza has a really interesting and nuanced approach to astrology that has even consummate cynic Roark intrigued. They discuss topics like what does it really mean to have a particular sign? Is your sun sign the be all end all? And should we *really* not date THAT sign (you know which one we mean)? Before Aliza joins the pod, Ali & Roark give some quick updates on the Disco Ball and Lots of Dogs. Timestamps: W...
Apr 11, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 60
It’s just Ali & Roark this week as they start a conversation about how to long-distance date. With Ali back from Colombia, the two have a lot to catch up on and they spend more time on updates than usual. Both Ali & Roark had great first dates that they eagerly report. Then, they transition to Topic Talk with a Weird or Nah about starting a relationship while long distance, and Ali tells her story of accidentally ending up in an LDR. They take a few listener questions about how to *date*...
Apr 04, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 59
Ali & Roark are joined by Desiree Simone this week to talk about dating after divorce and dating a partner who has kids. As is par for the course, they bite off more than they can chew, and the three mainly discuss dating after divorce. First, Desiree shares her own story. Then, she offers perspective on sharing your divorce story with a new partner, and, if you’re dating someone who is divorced, how to discuss it with them without being invasive. For the first time in a while Ali and Roark ...
Mar 28, 2022•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 58
It has been a minute since Ali & Roark did a Grab Bag episode and they are excited to bring it back! In this round of Grab Bag questions, they tackle dating as an introvert, breaking up with someone you live with, whether an age gap is too much to overcome in dating and many more! But first, it’s the updates - Roark gets Googled before a first date and Ali gets blocked! Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk at around 26:30 If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else...
Mar 21, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 57
This week, Ali & Roark have Meghan Wainwright on the podcast to share her experience being lovebombed. She talks about what it felt like to experience a “whirlwind” romance and the moments that gave her pause and the red flags she should have seen more clearly. And the three discuss how Meghan approaches dating differently now and how to call out a lovebomber. During updates, Roark is looking at her flaws and Ali heard from … the ROWER. Timestamps: Meghan joins the show for Weird or Nah and ...
Mar 14, 2022•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 56
This week, Ali & Roark welcome Gigi Robinson to the pod. Gigi uses social media to talk about mental health, body image, chronic illness – and the intersection of them. The three discuss how to tell others about a chronic illness, how to hype yourself up when your body image isn’t at its best, and how to know you’re “enough.” During Ali & Roark’s updates, Ali tells Roark something that literally makes Roark’s jaw drop. And Roark recaps the end of her Dallas stay. Timestamps: Gigi joins t...
Mar 07, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 55
The Topic Talk is a little more serious this week as Ali & Roark discuss gaslighting. They analyze how the term has become vastly overused in a way that can sometimes undermine how genuinely serious real gaslighting is. Given this, they largely focus on unintentional gaslighting or gaslighting “moments” – how to spot them and how to call them out. Before Topic Talk, Roark discusses how Dallas dating has reminded her of her standards, and Ali has a new matchmaker date on the horizon. They als...
Feb 28, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 54
It’s official – Ali & Roark celebrate one year of podcasting! And funnily enough, their guest this week joins the podcast to talk all about time. Well, timelines, really. Laura Behnke didn’t have a relationship until she was 35, and she comes on the pod to say “who cares” to following anyone’s timeline but your own. The three discuss embracing your life without a partner, being fully yourself on dates, and much more! Before that, Ali shares a recent first date and a couple phone-throwing mom...
Feb 21, 2022•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 53
Ali & Roark dive into the five love languages this week! Although this isn’t a series, this is a big topic and they will definitely revisit it, so please send in your questions if you have any. They walk through the five different love languages, then discuss the utility of the framework, its shortcomings, and their own experiences sharing their love languages and receiving their partners’. During their updates, Ali gives the full story of the end of the Rower, and Roark talks about dating i...
Feb 14, 2022•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 52
The subject matter of this weeks episode is a bit heavier than usual, but it’s a truly moving conversation between Ali and guest Krista St. Germain, host of The Widowed Mom podcast and founder of Coaching with Krista. They talk about losing a partner, moving forward and dating again, and how to integrate grief. Unfortunately, Roark couldn’t join Ali and Krista, but both Ali & Roark share their updates at the beginning of the episode. Roark gets Ali’s help strategizing her double-date profile...
Feb 07, 2022•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 51
This week, Ali & Roark have WAY too much fun with Jeff Guenther (aka Therapy Jeff). So much fun that a fair amount was deemed NSFP (not safe for pod), but Jeff *may* be coming to a Patreon near you sometime soon. You may recognize Jeff from your TikTok FYP. He is incredible at doling out bite-sized relationship advice you absolutely need to hear, and Ali & Roark think you’ll love this episode. They debate what questions to ask new partners and what might be a little too hard-hitting. Bef...
Jan 31, 2022•2 hr 39 min•Ep. 50
This week, Ali & Roark cover listener questions in a Hot Topics episode. They start with a question about dating burn out from solid first dates that don't turn into seconds dates. Then, they read a dating-app screenshot where the listener is curious about how she should react to a match’s sexual opening message. And they conclude with a discussion of a listener’s situationship. But before all that, Roark reveals how the first date she was excited for went, and Ali checks in emotionally ...
Jan 24, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 49
It’s the final episode of the breakup trilogy and Ali & Roark have the perfect guest – Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp. Amy used her own breakup as a catalyst to change her life and she shares with Finding Mr. Height listeners how to come out of a breakup stronger than before, and how to avoid getting stuck in negative loops so that we can move onward and upward. Before Amy joins the pod, Roark talks about her series of first dates and Ali had a tarot reading which provided some ...
Jan 17, 2022•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 48
It’s part two of Ali & Roark’s breakup series. This time they’re discussing what it’s like to be the one initiating the breakup. They start by discussing the difficulty of knowing whether your relationship problems are “normal” or “breakup worthy.” And then analyze how to end things with someone as kindly as possible – is there an ideal time, location, or mode of communication? But first, Ali gets vulnerable and shares her story of New Year’s Eve with The Rower, and Roark has her first first...
Jan 10, 2022•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 47
Ali & Roark’s three-part breakup series begins with special guest Dara Pollak – author of a viral post about a blindside breakup. Dara is a wonderful and vulnerable storyteller, and she shares her emotional journey from relationship to breakup to moving forward afterwards. It is a very relatable story and they know the listeners will hear themselves in parts of Dara’s experiences. Before Dara joins the show, Ali discusses New Years Eve plans with the Rower, and Roark is back on the apps! Tim...
Jan 03, 2022•2 hr 59 min•Ep. 46
Ali & Roark start off this week’s episode with some huge personal updates – buckle up! Then, they continue their discussion of anxiety in dating from early dates to during a relationship. They cover a huge range of topics including how to share your needs, how to self-soothe, when to bring your partner into your anxiety and ask them for help, and how to manage anxious feelings about being on the same page. Ali and Roark share personal anecdotes of experiences that have made them anxious – ac...
Dec 27, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 45
Ali & Roark start to tackle a big topic this week: feeling anxious. Dating can (and does) frequently cause anxious thoughts and feelings, so Ali & Roark start the multi-episode series by discussing some tried-and-true anxiety management strategies they use. Then, they discuss the situations leading up to a first date that make listeners anxious ranging from wondering if their date will find them attractive to stressing about finding a parking spot. First, Ali is on vacation again (can yo...
Dec 20, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 44
Ali & Roark welcome Alyssa Dineen, stylist and author of the book The Art of Online Dating, onto the podcast this week to discuss discovering your personal style, being confident in your clothes, and what to never wear on a first date. It’s a super fun conversation and don’t blame us if it results in either a closet clean out or a trip to your favorite store! But first, Ali reveals that phone-throwing moments are back in earnest including a Bumble match who is familiar with Ali’s alter ego… ...
Dec 13, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 43
Ali & Roark introduce a new episode format this week – Hot Topics. Rather than focusing on only one topic or covering a whole bunch like a Grab Bag, Hot Topics episodes will thoroughly answer your questions from the Finding Mr. Height Google form. For their first Hot Topics episode, Ali & Roark read a listener’s screenshot and discuss whether she should go out with the guy she’s texting, they answer a question about a guy whose friends secretly spied on their date, and finally they addre...
Dec 06, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 42
This episode is filled with lightbulb moments as Ali & Roark are joined by relationship therapist Charisse Cooke. And they promise they don’t *totally* derail the Q&A with Charisse by making it a personal therapy sesh. Charisse covers a ton of ground and answers listener questions such as how to handle having doubts about your partner, how to get what you need from a relationship, and how to set boundaries in a gentle way. In the updates section, Roark shares her feelings about not being...
Nov 29, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 41
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, Ali & Roark are here this week to discuss a very timely topic: meeting the family. When’s the “right time” to meet someone’s family? Should you bring a gift? What if your relationship to your family isn’t exactly stellar? They answer these questions along with many more and share horror and success stories of their own. In the updates section, Ali gets vulnerable and lets the listeners in on some of her anxious feelings, and Roark recaps her New Yor...
Nov 22, 2021•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 40
How can you navigate dating multiple people before becoming exclusive with someone? Ali & Roark talk through the logistics and emotions of that early-dating phase. Topics include, how to tell someone you’re still open to dating others (and whether you have to), running into someone you’re dating while on another date, and how to manage your attachment. Before that, Ali reveals she is invested in a new guy, and Roark has been sick. Timestamps: Weird or Nah and Topic Talk begins at around 22:2...
Nov 15, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 39
It’s another Grab Bag episode as Ali & Roark are joined by Shaun Galanos aka @thelovedrive to answer all sorts of questions about direct communication and vulnerability. This is the longest episode yet because the three have way too much fun laughing, commiserating, and agreeing with each other. Questions answered include: how to say “I love you” first, how to slowly bring down your walls, and how to set your standard and live with the person’s reaction even if it’s not what you wanted, and ...
Nov 08, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 38
Ali & Roark are joined by special guest Kirstie Taylor this week to dive more deeply into attachment theory and answer listener questions. Kirstie, a dating and relationship writer who authored the book What I Wish I Knew About Love, drops about 83 insightful bombs this episode as the three women discuss their own attachment journey, and answer questions about anxious-avoidant couples, how to move towards being more secure, and many more! In the updates portion, Roark is dealing with the Cla...
Nov 01, 2021•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 37
After being asked many times to discuss this topic, Ali & Roark are finally talking about attachment styles. This is the first of two dedicated episodes on the topic. This week, they define each attachment style, discuss where their styles came from, and share a few anecdotes about navigating dating through an attachment-style lens. Also, they take an attachment quiz and analyze their results – you can take it too at: https://dianepooleheller.com/attachment-test/. In the updates portion of t...
Oct 25, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 36
How much in common do you have to have with the person you’re dating? Do opposites attract, or do birds of a feather flock together? Ali & Roark discuss a HuffPost article “8 Things You *Don’t* Need To Have In Common With Your Future Spouse” and answer a few listener questions as they parse through what important commonalities are, and which ones matter less. As always, they share their personal updates first. Ali had a very promising fist date, which included a controversial gift (at least ...
Oct 18, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 35
We hope you’re ready to go steady with this podcast, but whether you are or aren’t, Ali & Roark are here to talk all about defining the relationship (the DTR talk). After being asked this question a whole bunch, they finally break down the concept of what it means to be “exclusive.” Also, they discuss how to initiate a DTR and how to handle it if it doesn’t go your way. In the personal updates arena, Ali talks about her France trip and introduces a man from her past who recently made a reapp...
Oct 11, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 34
