Real Friends Classic - 503: My Day at the Races

II, Hi, you look handsome, So do you? I got a haircut? Can you guys tell it?

Look?

Oh?

Looking good?

Yeah?

Okay short on the sides.

Well, I do want to go so short. So it's sort of a hybrid. I had to have a conversation, like I said, take like a month off, and then he did, and I was like, try six weeks.

Try six weeks.

This tiniest little trip.

Up a couple more, couple more days off that.

What would a complete baldy be? Then how many months would that be?

That wouldn't be months, that would be all that would be taking me back to birth. I've never shaved my head. I probably should. It would have to be justified by a roll or something, because I'd never I've never other than having a bald cap on in scrubs. I have no idea what I look like like a crew cut.

I think it would look really funny.

On really because of my nose shape.

No, not because no shape, sack. No.

I think it such great hair. It would be like a shame to cut it.

My nose shape. That's where you went.

As you know, I'm self conscious about my nose.

It's big. You wear it well, it's beautiful.

I'm loving the reaction to our Hyundai video. It's been the people are so funny. Like the overwhelming response is when are you going to release the whole episode?

Which makes me feel like we should.

I think we should, dude.

Yeah, did you read the comments? People were like, this is hilarious. Put out the whole thing.

Yeah, people were like, I would watch this. What I really like about it is that we're not freaking pushing this car on you heavily. Yeah, actually comes up in a natural conversation.

I love that.

And also and also, no bullshit. The car is nice, like the cars. It's not like we're a lot. A lot of people in the comments were like, oh my god, I'm actually considering this car now and songs on our list, and you know, obviously they're an advertiser, but we I genuinely thought that car was pretty sexy. It is so comfortable and and all the funny little like innovative safety features like the attention thing and the and the blind spots on your dash.

That was cool.

But dude, I laughed at us. I laugh every I've watched a video nine hundred thousand times because I helped edit it, and watching every time you say chewy nose, I laugh.

Chewy nose.

No, no you go no, no chewing notes right.

Laugh Is what I laugh at is let me drive.

I was the room in the back because I saw someone on my comments on my Instagram was car looks hot. Daniel's a tall guy. Was there enough room for his legs?

Oh?

Absolutely yeah. I even had a bunch of stuff back there. You may see, like leaning down the video like I had the equipment. I had some boxes, and I was very comfortable.

There's space to spare roomy.

And someone else wrote, wow, y'all weren't lying that is a big sun roof.

I believe like I was so concentrated on the floor because that's where all the recording stuff was. I didn't look up until someone was like, that's a sunroof. So when you hear me go, oh my goodness, that is enormous.

That was I like that trend of a sunroof being the length of a car pretty much. Obviously, obviously you need to be able to close it because the heat can be oppressive. But yes, I feel like that's a cool new trend that I appreciate.

Why who doesn't do a lot of driving it's really nice to be able to just have sort of like beyond a panoramic view of your surroundings. And as someone who's been to a lot of drive ins over the past year, those things are excellent for making sure you can see the screen no matter where you have to park the vehicle.

Super advantageous. Also if there's a night with beautiful stars out and you just want to feel like you're flying through the galaxy.

Oh gosh, did you feel like you were in the Millennium Falcon?

I mean, when am I not in the Millennium podcast?

I had a lot of people comment like, dude, how could you not know this MCU reference?

Boy?

Oh, come on, I don't know. I don't know any of that stuff.

Do you care to know.

To have conversations with you?

Guys? I do?

And my will there ever be a moment in time where you will have watched all of the EMCU movies and be able to piece it together like I can.

No, But I tell you what.

I'm gonna watch Black Widow on July ninth with you.

Hey, Hey, I'm gonna sit next to you.

I'm gonna hold your thigh at exciting parts. Should I do that thing? What was that movie Bachelor Party where he puts the hole in the bottom of the popcorn and puts the beep inside. Oh, should I do that with you?

On July ninth?

I pray that you don't do that.

Did you ever see that movie Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks?

Like I can't eat the after that happens.

Well, you wouldn't be worried about the popcorn. You'd be worried about the treats at the bottom.

Oh, my god, the treats.

Have you guys not seen Tom Hanks in the movie Bachelor Party.

I've seen the movie.

Yes, there's no way that it is not completely unmakeable today and on PC and probably horrible.

But as a kid, I remember thinking it was hilarious.

I just remember that ladies nipples were the size of court. They looked like quarters. I remember that.

I don't remember that.

I remember that it was an early Tom Hanks movie, before he became like family movie guy.

It was like R rated.

And crazy, before Splash.

It was before Splash, definitely.

Before Money Pit.

I don't know Joelle can answer. So I think it was his first big lead if I'm not mistaken. I mean, I don't know he was like it was before he became like.

This was an R rated movie. I mean it was crazy.

I remember I remember seeing Big and being like, oh, this guy's career is going a completely different path. And I was young when it came out, but I knew. I was like Tom Hanks is an amazing actor, dude. And Big is the perfect example because me and my friend it was a toss up that night. It was that or like Funny Farm. It was something like that, something where it was like something that you don't necessarily want to see but you know you're gonna laugh, or

But dude, there's a movie scene in this movie where like they get a donkey for the bachelor party and like there's all these bulls out on the table and the donkey does all the pills. What the donkey like snorts cocaine and like drops all these pills.

Oh it's crazy.

Yeah, Bachelor Party, everyone, I recommend it and if it has offensive shit, and then I didn't make it.

I just remember my childhood.

You have both movies. Both Splash and Bachelor Party came out in nineteen eighty four, which is, uh, those are two very different movies for two very different audiences starring Sampers.

Yeah, I bet you.

When Splash became a giant hit, he was probably like, oh shit, I've got that al rated. Should we get in the episode?

Fucking amazing episode.

I'm not sure.

We made about a bunch of docs and.

N said he's a story net, so YadA here, yead here.

But this is a pretty great episode. I mean, it has so much in it.

Did you direct this episode? Who did?

I wish I did?

Michael Spiller did, and he did a job. I mean that cop tell us about the con fo sequence. It looks like it took forever to do. And how much rehearsal did you do?

It's just a day of rehearsal and then we shot. We rehearsed in the morning and then shot that afternoon.

You rehearsed and shot all in one day.

Yeah. And this is before I had any type of martial arts training or anything like that. I was just basically doing what I saw on television and copying Brusollie and stuff. Like that. But now I think because of the amount of work I put in, I'd be like, well, I don't know if that kick would look real, or you know what I mean. I'd be a little bit more critical of how it looked.

Right.

Well, you had the luxury of it being a comedy, so you could be a little bit silly. But I thought it was a really well shot by Michael Spiller, and I thought you and Rob were fucking hilarious.

Yeah right, get ready for the big door.

And then you say that line from What's it is an Indiana Jones.

Reference, Quit fooling around with that kid and get down here. Yeah.

Yeah, No, I.

Wish I did Scrubs Wiki.

I'm sorry, damn.

Scrubs Wiki had some good ones on this episode, but God is a big episode. I this might have been one of the ones that we didn't accomplished in five days because it feels larger than usual because of the whole triathlon and your kung Fu thing.

The big There's a lot in this episode.

Set pieces, as we call them in the biz.

But I did the sacred fart.

Yeah. So the first thing that happens is I'm at your apartment and Carla wants me out. We're all speaking subliminally to each other, and you tell me subliminally that you're watching Gizelle in the Victorious Secrets Momo in your spoon. Remember that that was the thing everyone would I never think I really watched it, but they would do like a Victoria's Secret show.

It was like a Runway show.

Right, But they've canceled it. I heard all the Victoria's Secret model sexy girl thing is over right, Joell, Yeah.

I don't think I had anything to do with like sexy girls or not. It's just Victoria's Secrets been struggling as a company with the boom of a lot of new lingerie ads. A lot of people got ahead of the like full range of skin tone nudes before Victoria's Secret did. They still own a large corner of the market. Shout out to cor Harrington who has a Twitter that's

What's that brand? Is it airy or something.

That is a that they do do that that.

For some reason, I feel like there's a brand that's like embracing all body shapes and sizes.

There's a ton of them.

Second, are you telling me that lingerie is no longer a thing anymore?

Like that's going on about what they're saying is like Victoria's secret was clearly like here's what you wear if you're a six one skinny woman, and look how sexy it looks. And they're saying, why don't we have more realistic lines of lingerie for all body types?

I'm guessing and skinny right now?

Lingerie always looks good when it's too small. I'm just keeping it one hundred when it's all the way up, and then when it's in the cracks, it's just better.

When it's in the cracks, it's better. That's a good T shirt. Let's get that.

Am I Am I wrong?

Oh?

It depends I think three dudes.

Am I wrong?

Well? Three dudes and and a woman who likes women. So I think you you can ask the question. I think that it all depends on what everybody likes. Right, so everyone likes the wrong thing. Do you like that lingerie that has like the straps down the leg and all that shit.

As long as it's in the cracks, I'm all good.

That's your only requirement is that it's in the crack.

It has so.

You don't like it if there's like satin covering the butt, you want it in the crack.

I want that ship to look like I would listen.

Lord, like Lord's new album cover.

It's coming off. That's amazing. It's coming off just because of that, just because of the freaking shot. If it listens, it's coming off in five minutes, and in less than five minutes anyway, you know what I mean? Like that. That's the other thing I don't understand about it. I'm always like baby put on some lingerie. She puts it on, and within two minutes it's not on her anymore.

Right, But it's for the moment where you're like, damn, that's glorious. Lord wearing anything in that picture, I don't know.

I don't know.

How do you know?

You did you zoom daniel zoom zoom zoom get zoom.

I couldn't. I couldn't tell if was This is the sentence I've never said, I couldn't tell if Lord was nude. She definitely has decided to show off her bum. Yes, she said, I'm gonna jump over that cameraman. Yeah, but you can't tell if she's wearing a bathing suit or not, or or or a bong Danel, I didn't zoom.

So I don't know, Daniel, that you've looked, now that you've taken a good look, Daniel.

Daniel, now that you've looked this, because you're the.

Ones you're when I was like, zoom.

It looks to me like she is wearing underwear, yes, or a bathing suit.

Yeah. I imagine at the photo shoot she wasn't going to jump over the cameraman naked.

So there you go.

Joel, did you did you see that?

Joe zoom?

Yeah, I saw it.

I assumed it was.

I don't think you need to zoom Blissa and you can see her pretty well. It's Lord, Hey, what's up?

Yeah?

Well, I think that's gonna sell some albums. I don't know if I don't know how the music is, but everybody likes a nice bump.

Oh, it's all slapping. Lord's a great artist.

It's all slapping the music, dude. I'm gonna tell you right now. Man, she ain't had a real hit since Royals, though, keep it one hundred. That's the fire. That's the real deal. Holy feel right there. That's the timeless hit that'll play forever and ever and ever and ever. She's lucky to have one. Everybody's lucky if you have one of those. That's what I'm talking about. That shit is fire Royals.

She's had some time to make an album. Maybe it's going to be fire.

As you say, it's tough to touch that Royals man, keep it one hundred.

Well, her last album was in twenty seventeen, so she's had some time.

I've been listening to this Beab song a lot.

Which one I'm not embarrassed?

Which one.

Is out in coming out of the closet today as someone who loves Justin Bieber.

Okay, you were in the closet about that.

Yes, that's not something I have ever broadcast before. I know that I'm very alpha and masculine, but I need to break that image of me right now. Yeah, this song anymore, Well, I'm sure there's not a lot of bros being like, bro, did you hear fucking anyone? By Bieber? That's a slab. It's a slab, and my friend wrote it so I feel I feel extra proud of my friend.

He also wrote.

Peaches great song, TikTok Smasher, Yeah, killing it, killing it anyway. I can't play you anyone here, guys, because I'm not allowed to, but put it on, and especially right now.

I love I love pop, and it's obviously a super pop radio hit. But the kid, the fella, he's not a kid anymore. The young man can sing.

I got a good one for you. Then go ahead the weekend and Ariana gran.

Oh, I know that song that's like the number one song in the summer right now.

That song is I mean it was originally it was a fire song when it's just a weekend, but Ariana Grande has taken that ship to the next level.

It's got an it's very hit to be eighties right now.

Right Yeah. It has actually.

The dun dun dun dun du by the way anyone has. When I told Andrew I liked his song, he said, oh, did you like those Phil Collins drums, because you know the song has that.

Yeah, love that.

And I was like, I'm talking to the guy who fucking chose the Phil Collins song dumps my song.

It sounds so cool past the fucking sushi.

But this is where it makes me feel. This is where it makes me feel old. Man, Like that, Uh, what's the girl's name that sings driving the car? What's her name?

Olivia Rodrigo.

Yes, and in her new song she talking about I'm the one that hipped you to Billy Joel. Yes, it's like, come on, kiddo, that's not that old, is it. It's Billy Joel. That old Billy.

Joel did not have a in popular culture career by the time this child was born.

Is Uptown Girl really? That old girl?

Old old?

How old is her?

How she's seventeen eighteen?

I think she's like, I'm the one that taught you about Uptown Girl to this boy and the boys going around teaching it to other girls, the new chick.

That's how many kids? How many kids probably listen to Uptown Girl now that that song is popular?

I know, man, they're like, dude, that's the video with Christy Brigley. Yeah, that's a great you know, uh, you know, it's a great. Billy Joe's song The.

Long whoa Oh, the Longest Time That Ship is one of the best albums eat song.

Dude, when he cut.

My favorite deep cut is Billy Joel Vienna.

Oh that that's a beautiful song.

Yeah, I agree, Joelle. Just clutch my pearls. Just you clutch your own pearls and my pearls because you're feeling it.

You higher on being away.

You're just like no got the first song I ever learned in my life. Don't go changing to try, Please go ahead. You never let me down before.

My favorite part of that song is when it goes what you're trying to get into, what you're trying to do. Come on, we gotta focus on.

The focus on the show.

Dude.

Alright, this an episode is so funny. I love this whole rift in the lobby. I can't just unevite everyone. I got two e yeses and two e maybies. That's a lot of responsors, dude, Kwondo Show thirty and so upside Down question Mark.

And then you look at me, you go, I borrowed your Spanish diction hare.

Yeah, and you're the only one. You're one of the only yes. I've got twenty four e mabies, Quondo Oho thirty and upside Down question Mark.

I remember this episode very well, man, Like this is one of those episodes when we were. When I was watching it, I was like, I remember shooting this. I remember shooting the scene Quondo eight thirty upside, I remember shooting lasting laughing so hard at that. I remember that.

This season, I think is a really great season.

I know we got off the rails a little bit with like you know, ostriches and shit, but I just feel like, as we're starting to watch this season, I remember liking the season and feeling like we were just having so much.

Fun, so much fun at this time.

Yeah, yeah, and Sacred Fart.

We didn't, you know, not expecting Kelso to like it, but Kelso finds it hilarious.

Sacred Sacred Fart goes.

Did just see the sign and you do the safety dance? Yes?

Until that moment, I had never heard that song.

One song.

I heard the song. I didn't know what safety dance was.

You're getting Dunce if you want to, you can leave Youngs behind.

Now.

I don't know much about them, but they were a one hit wonder. And then you make some reference to the band.

That I didn't fully get.

What do you mean you.

Say something about common do common common dot or.

Something that's.

Elliott says it to uh, Carla, and she was like, didn't you learn your lesson when you asked them if when you told him the commandant was coming to town. But I didn't get it either. I'm gonna look it up.

I think the band is called Dirk Comman Dot or something.

I don't know. It went over my head.

He can dance, he can dance if he wants to leave his friends.

But I laughed out loud at you're so you we're going through the list of things that.

You were Elliott were going.

To and me and I go, how could you never? How could he not have slept in a in a hammock, naked on a hammock.

I'm afraid of dragonflies. I definitely made that shut up there.

I'm afraid of dragonflies.

I'm afraid of dragonflies. Like, why is that gonna really fuck up my naked sleeping in a hammock?

I don't know. And Kelso's really driving through this year that he loves Asian prostitutes.

Yeah, I mean it's in every episode that Kelso really loves prostitutes of the now what's it?

So?

What do you think Jake's fantasy was? They were in there for four minutes?

He probably said something really naughty.

Yeah, I mean, what is going to make a woman?

She says, come on, Drake, just come on in here, just tell me what your wildest thing is. Anything is good, okay. So and then the clock cuts to five minutes later and not even and they run out, and she's like, oh my god, Jake, like, what could it have been?

Do you have anything like that where you'd be like, well, that's it? Never mind the hottest, the hot, the thing, the moment that you've been waiting for with the woman that you've been waiting for, Whether it's like like, let's go off the chain, like the person you never ever in a million million years thought it would be possible. You two are in a moment and this person says something to stop you guys from doing it. What would it be?

I don't know.

I don't know. I mean something that's that would be painful. I'm not really into smm. If she was like, I've got the clamps, get in a fucking cage.

I mean, no disrespect to those who love it, but I just don't think that that's like my particular thing.

Get in the dog, it's all set up, Get in it. Eat that kibble, motherfucker.

I don't know. What about you? What's your answer?

I don't know, dude. It's a tough one because, like.

I mean, like they don't even start. They just like he talks her through it, this.

Is what we're gonna do, and she's like, that's it. No, it breaks them up. It breaks them up.

Yeah, it's pretty sad for poor Jake. He finally felt comfortable to share his his fans.

Pressure. You pressured, You pressured her into doing.

That, right, I did, But I mean I wanted her to be honest and open with her lover.

She has a fantasy.

We learned that that's a very elaborate involving a Mexican apple.

That was so funny.

But I thought this was the episode there's but there's one point where where I fulfill her fantasy by dressing up as the Mexican apple thief.

But I'm not.

It's not that we're hooking up. I'm helping her with another man. I think, don't you remember that? It must be this season because the season as a runner of Elliott being obsessed with her whole elaborate Mexican apple thief sex fantasy. And there's some point where I dress up with like a Mexican poncho and a sombrero, and I'm sure it's not going to be very PC, but I know that I'm playing a Mexican apple thief.

I don't remember.

I don't think there's any skin painting or anything like that, but I do know that, Oh boy, I'm wearing right. I think I am wearing a sombrero.

JD Cereal, JD's Bananas and Nuts.

Oh man, I was on fire this episode.

What about Doug pre tagging the patient's toes. Yeah, he's like I wrote one ish.

There are a lot of very funny Carla looking for couples to eat dinner with. I know, I know how that goes, dude, I know how that goes. That's your wife, that is my wife. Get married, We'll have dinner together.

Yeah she she always used to say that to me. And find a girlfriend. We can stop being our third wheel and go on double dates.

Yeah.

All right, now, this whole we got to talk about this whole triathlon thing. This was the water was colder than you could possibly imagine. We really went out to the beach. We were out in Malibu, and I remember that scene where I'm getting in the water is the funniest fucking thing.

I laughed so hard.

No wet suit and like tiptoeing in and trying to splash it on my body.

Yeah, but then there's a scene where you're actually swimming in.

I was out there in the water. Yeah, it was freezing. It was like forty five degrees. No wet suit and all the crew is in there with wet suits, right, and what it was a hot day. But it didn't matter that it was a hot day, because this is actually an interesting story. The water was freezing, but it was hot outside. So they had a big longboard for me to get out onto for breaks because you couldn't stay in there very long and you just lost your breath.

You you have this euphoria come over you.

And I remember, I remember, I'll never forget it. I was lying in my trailer and I was like, I felt like higher than I've ever felt in a good way. And it was they say this hot cold hot cold.

Don't they say that this is what you're supposed to do nowadays? Like isn't this a regimen that people are doing too? Yes, I know there's people that dementia or something like that.

I don't know about dementia, but it definitely felt good for anxiety if you can handle it. I know that people. I remember reading an arc about Rick Rubin, the famous producer, had like a sauna and then outside his sauna an ice plunge and he would do this. He would go, and there's other people that do it. They go back and forth, go back and forth, and you have you get this like natural high from your body going. I can tell you from this experience that I've never forgotten

That's dope. We should go to break.

All right, We're gonna go to break and we'll be right back after what you're trying to get into one day. Shoon what you're trying to do.

And we're back.

Did you see that.

Listening to pig Doctor's real friends.

Did you see that nice woman who covered uh the we got a call her song? She did a good job she did. We want more of you to cover the songs. If you're a fan and you're do covers, can you tag us in covers on Instagram and and and if they're not horrible, we'll we'll repost them.

Donald, I would love to hear like a twelve part a cappella band do what you're trying to get some stories.

Yeah, I was just gonna say about it, so we may even something slowed down.

Yeah, so about a bunch of doctor cause.

But anyway, the point is is that if you. If you do sing covers, please sing and cover of one of our many ditties and we'll we'll repost it.

I want to talk about that. We were talking about the the triathlon that JD does. It's more like a walk about really when you think about it, right, he's having a moment in his life where he's trying to figure out what he's going to do. He needs a place to live, and you know he's alone.

Yeah, no girlfriend, no girlfriend, He's lost, and he goes on this journey, yeah, this quest through ocean land.

A vision quest.

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, come through at the end and realize he has the help all He had the help all along. It was offered to him in the beginning, and he was so stubborn that he played it off as like, you know, we're superficial friends. We're not really friends.

Yeah, we like to.

Keep it superficial, but really JD and Elliott are there for each other regardless of if they're a boyfriend and girlfriend couple. They are.

You know, you could say he can't do it all on his own.

You could say that, but I chose not to. You know, I wish you would have to say no.

Listen, it's very listless to the to a real place. It's very hard to maintain a friendship. It's one thing to have an ex where you're like, you're tight, you're fine, it's cool, everything's all good, Like how are you good?

Good?

Oh, I saw your instagram? You know, superficial talk. But these two were trying to be in each other's lives as best friends in a best friend group. That's really and work together every day. That's really, really hard. They're asking a lot of each other and they're their Their way of trying to do it is to keep everything superficial. I mean, he literally says dynamite teeth today, friend so sparkly.

I don't care bad. That was like, I loved it.

He's hallucinated.

Well yeah, but you grab her face first. Oh you're real. Yeah, thank goodness.

I thought it was a hilarious choice that she's in a dolphin costume because he's tripping out and he's hallucinating. I thought very funny, and I just thought it was sweet that she carried me and he got that Keen song, which I love, and I believe this going forward. Bill said, season five on, they're all the original songs. They worked out what the deals would be from season five on, so the songs aren't replaced, as I understand it. Do

Remember the Bowery Bar Keen me you, Bill Lawrence.

No, I don't remember that.

I remember New York City.

I remember New York City. It's it's the big city in New York.

Right.

Do you remember when we went and saw that show Keen.

I've seen a few Keen shows, But go ahead.

Right, this was right when this is right around this time, when and if we.

Have a moment, why don't we go some talk about it somewhere only we know this could be the end of everything, So why don't we ego, you don't remember going to somewhere?

Well, we know it's great song.

I don't know what happened to that band.

They were so good.

We went and saw them live at the Bowery Bar, dude, is what I'm trying to say.

Okay, we didn't see them at the Bowery Bar. What is a venue?

What is it then the Bowerie Uh a venue in the Bowery.

It's not called the Bowery Bar.

What is the what is the big ass?

Now? I'm getting now, I'm getting what you're saying.

It's on it's on Houston.

I think is it the Bowery or is it something else?

You looked that up, Daniel, you're the music guy here.

What the name of the venue or what happened I looked at I mistaken just called the Bowery Bowery Ballroom.

Bowery Ballroom, that's what it is.

The neck ears.

Wow, wow, listen, do not fuck my twat ears. Oh my god, here comes the sound effect again, Dann. I need that from my my sound pad.

I can get you both get both day.

I don't want a real sexual noise. I want Donald's specific one.

Thank you.

What about when I'm peddling the bike and I'm like, the only thing I've had to eat all day is a half a jellyfish and just why don't you just change gears? And I go it's like peddling and hummus. And then I see, uh, Johnny Castle and Sam walked by with a freaking pig old pig.

They're eating the apple.

They did. They're going to they will see you with the lou out.

I go.

They already finished and cooked a pig. They they not only finished, but they successfully cooked a pig on a on a what do you call it?

A spiggot spit on a spit? Do you think that where water comes out of do you think that?

Do you think that Johnny Castle and Sam? I mean their characters actually cooked the pig themselves.

I don't think they existed. I think that was the fake. I think they were the hallucination.

No, no, no, I think, well, what's a funnier answer. The funnier answer is that they've had that much time off from the from the triathlon.

They've been done for so long.

Yeah, but then the joke doesn't make sense when he grabs her face, Oh you and you're real, thank god?

Oh my god.

How about when we when you're getting ready to do the surgery for the woman and they cut to without anesthesia and they cut the cocks.

That was so funny.

And then you're like you go, you got this, you got this. And then you see the the hypnotist. He's whispering you what are you saying, and he goes, I'm just saying, you got this, you got this? Right?

Did you see? Did you see what he does when she starts screaming, seems like he was freaking no.

But there's no way that woman would ever not scream. First of all, you got one cut in and she didn't scream.

Yeah, but you know it was burning, you know that shit was burning. You know, she was like, God, if he cuts me one more time, that's it. That's wait, that's it. I'm not gonna be able to take it.

Oh my god. And then she screams, and then you go, obi Nobi, this episode was hilarious, dude. And then Elliott carry me at the end into the finish line.

Yeah, it's very, very, very polished.

And then we're lying there together. I mean, you get the sense in this episode you can't help but go maybe they will end up together.

They're so cute together.

Well, you could tell that, you could tell that she definitely has feelings for him, I.

Mean yeah, and he does for her.

Well yeah, but the fact that she puts the dude on her back and carries him over the fence. Yea, you love already like like that. That's foreshadowing in a big motherfucking way, you know what I mean?

Yeah, because that's what you do with a partner. You lift them up. You you you carry them when they need to be carried.

That's right. As a new addition, once said, can you stand the rain, Elliott says yes, yeah I can.

And also like that footprints thing with Jesus, like you know and when when when you didn't see my footsteps beside you, I was carrying it. Yeah, footprints Elliott is my Jesus. She's carrying me.

Wow, steep step Right. We should probably go to break and then come back with the guy.

We're going to break, and we will come back with an exciting caller right back, and we're bad.

We're play that music. No, not that music.

And I thought you liked my song Tell me Day. I'll play the color music. We can talk, you know, like a.

Ball of smoke, some jazz, maybe talking about the episode.

So come on, let's.

Get the show on.

Very give it up for Billy.

Is gone. Billy, Welcome to the podcast, My friend, Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you all.

It's so good to see you, my friend.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, Thank you calling from from Well.

I live in Denver, but currently in the state of Washington. Uh. My girlfriend and I are actually living out of the band for the summer, traveling around and uh yeah, we are taking a little break in an airbnb. So it's actually good timing for this.

I'm crying to get to wash that ass.

Huh, Hi, Donald just met him. Don't talk about as you know.

You know he's a dirty dude.

If he's Yeah, you can't wash your ass in the van, listen, you cannot. I have been went down a rabbit hole with these conversion vans. I saw Nomad Lands, and I know Nomadland was not meant to make me feel like I want to live in a van, but I did. I went down the rabbit hole. And is that what you're in? Some sort of converted van?

Yeah? Yeah, I bought a van a couple of years ago, converted it myself, put some solar panels and batteries and all the works in it.

So what do you got in there?

What do you got in there? Besides the bed?

Obviously, we've got a bed, We've got we've got lights, we've got fans, we've got a heater. I got a lot of storage for toys. My girlfriend and I love biking and paddle boarding, all the outdoor sports, so we got a big old garage for everything in the back. So yeah, it's like a little log cabin in the back.

Do you have a fridge and at food?

Yeah, we've got a little fridge. We've got a little kitchen stove sync with like a little pump action faucet. So very basic, but you know you did.

And then what about the peeing and poohing situation.

Yeah, that one's a little difficult sometimes. We always try and prioritize having bathrooms nearby, but if emergency calls, we do have a bucket toilet with a little baggies.

They have that, and they have that in No mad Land where they talk about pooping in a bucket.

Yes, yes, yes they did.

You see No mad Land?

I did, Yes, I loved it. I thought it was it was very beautiful.

Did this make you want to churin your lifestyle? And this is why you're doing this?

Well, I mean I was doing it before No Madland came ou we were not in the van at the time, and it made us want to kind of go back in.

So it must have to You must have to really, really really get along with your girlfriend to live out of a van together.

I mean, there she is.

It feels like next level getting along, not just like, oh, no, we love you to like, no, we're going to get in a tiny van and tour the country.

Yes, yeah, we get along. Well, there are definitely some times where we kind of get at each other's nerves a little bit, but for the most part, yeah, we get along.

What do you say, You're like, go to the back of the van.

I like my alone time, So I always preface like every time we go out, like, I need some alone time. I need some time where I'm gonna go off by myself and do my own thing.

Because she doesn't get upset by that.

She does a little bit. She doesn't like me in a lot.

So yeah, I can't picture you and Casey living in a van together.

When we first started dating, CBS asked us if we wanted to be a couple on the Amazing Race and I was like, I was like, if we did it, babe, I mean, yeah, we'd probably win. But our relationship would be over.

Amazing.

Race is very stressful on a couple.

Yes, I couldn't imagine doing something like that. So being in a van with just just me and Casey. Are the kids with us?

No, I was making it one step easier and saying it was just you and Casey. The kids would be ridiculous in a van.

It'd be so difficult.

Yeah, they'd be hitting each other and shit. But I love these conversion vans. There's there's all there are all different levels, and it's so I'm always so interested in how people like do their layout and what they choose to put in there and whatnot, and people go crazy with it.

Yeah, there's there's a million different ways you can make them. It just kind of all depends on your needs.

So it's like you know on Instagram, when you second, you like start clicking on something and then it's just like sends you the mother load. My feed for a while was just like ninety percent conversion vans.

Yeah, that's that's my girlfriend's Instagram right now. Yeah, conversion vans and just tells us all the ways we can improve ours.

Yeah, that's fun. Though it's together.

It's not solar powered, is it? Electrical or no.

No, it's an older diesel van. But we've just a solar panel on the roof that charges the external battery which powers all of our electronics. Some stuff.

You should look.

I mean, I don't know if you're into it, but look into there's this. Uh I just put a smoker if you're into it. And uh it's a one that can travel with you, and it folds up really nice and small, and it plugs into your your electrical outlet or socket and so when the cars on. Let me tell you something right now, I've been smoking some meats, man, but you can smoke other things. I'm gonna smoke other things. You can smoke other things. You can smoke.

Vet, did I ever tell you that Donald goes to extremes? He went from like a week of vegetarianism to buying a smoke.

It was more than a week. It was more than a week. It was a month and a half. Ken the solar a month and a half. Respect that came, motherfucker, Oh my god.

Not, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to see this. Billy. All right, Billy, you have a question for us.

My friend, Yes, yes I do.

So.

My first question, uh, guess mainly for your Zach and Joel since you guys just got new dogs. But Donald and Danelle or Daniel please let me know if you guys have dogs as well and care to answer. But I love asking us to all my friends who have dogs. What TV or movie character do you feel like best represents your dog's personality and would you be willing to pay a lot of money to have one of those dog callers from the movie up to bring that personality to life?

Wow?

Joelle, do you have an answer of the first of all, yes, I would pay any amount of money to have my dog talk to me because I love her more than anything, and I would love to hear what she's thinking in terms of who she is. I don't know, Joelle, you go, I'm feeling it might be someone from Rebels.

It's actually character from being Mary Jane.

Wow.

But she's also kind of a mess.

Way to bring out my movie wife.

Yes, I love Gabby and yeah, you know Lion's she just turned six months, so you know, she she's got ten commands down, she's learning all the time.

She's so sweet.

We're getting so much better at the leash. But you know, then there's times where she's also a mess, and she can't stop running around and she's tripping people. And when we meet dogs, she always wants to put her paw on their face and I'm like, we don't have to, you could just sniff it and like, you know, be gentle, and she's like, I must leap onto everything. So she's a bit of a mess, but she's also super intelligent and getting there.

So you know, I'm also gonna choose a Gabby Union character, but from Bring it On. Yeah, No, I think I picture of my dog like Keimmy Schmidt. Okay, very wide eyed, optimistic and silly, because my dog's very funny. Dogs have a sense of humor. I'm sorry if you disagree, but my dog is funny. She knows she's being funny, and she does funny shit. She's in the UK right now. I miss her. She's worldly my dog. All right, nice question, my friend.

Yeah, so my next question is more specific. Two scrubs. One of my favorite kind of scenes of any of the episodes is one that you guys just recently covered, but my Boss's free haircut at the end the speech that doctor Kelsel gives whenever he kind of bursts to the door and says nothing worth having. It comes easy. It's something that I find myself always kind of watching and whenever I need a little bit of a pick

That's a good question.

Yeah. At the end of the Whiz, Lena Horn sings Believe in Yourself. You know, Horn is like the first black star in Hollywood. This movie comes out in in seventy eight, I think, and so this is like her last hurrah and to get her as a fully realized performer, because she had to go through a lot before she was like fully on her feet singing a song that very much sounds like everyone's grandmother, just being like, listen, if you believe yourself, you can go out there, you

Donald something from Star Wars, I imagine, maybe something that Yoda says in a swamp.

It could it be.

Do or do not? There is no try. Yeah, that is one of my favorite speeches that I'm not gonna lie that one. And Obi wan Kenobi, well, the force is what lets you say? Oh my god, this is what guides us. Well, whatever he says in the beginning, no no, no, no, no, let me say so when I really think about it, one of the greatest speeches. There's quite a few of them, but the one that comes to mind is al Pacino in Any given Sunday his

I'm thinking. I mean, I happen to be looking at my shashk Redemption movie poster, and so what came to mind was like Morgan's end monologue of Shawshank and then when I thought about it, I got goosebumps on my legs. So I don't know if it's necessarily inspirational, but just I remember that that monologue about when he finally gets freedom and then he finally goes and meets Andy Dufrayne on the beach.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's what came to my mind because I I did a little bit of a uh, what's that?

What's that Kevin's Bacy movie where he walked.

I did the little usual suspects when I looked up and saw the movie poster on my wall.

But it's it's not for me. It's never really uh, it's never really I use al Pacino as an example. It's never really the speech. It's always the music that really takes you over the top. Yes, you know what I mean. And so, uh, there are quite a few moments in ET when ET's leaving, after Gerty says bye to him, and uh and and you know he's he's he's looking at Elliot and Ellie goes, you know, he go says come and Ellie goes stay. All of that then the music get bempn. That ship is fire and

All Right, Philly, it's time. Where are you?

We?

I forgot where you are.

I'm in We're in Washington right now.

It's time for people who live in Van's favorite segment, Donald, It's time to fix you.

All right, It's all about you now. We're here to help.

Thank you all Uh yeah. My fixure life is surprisingly about moving in with my girlfriend. Although we've been living in a band together, we don't actually live together at home, but we are planning on moving in together for the

Well, both Donald and I have both moved in and out with several women.

Yes, it's true, this is true.

Keep the boxes.

I'm just kidding.

No, that's good advice. That's good advice for a different reason entirely. But you know, after you guys get your answers, I have my own answer for this, the funny answer.

Because I'm moving out because spoiler alert, Billy, that's a that's a perfect segue into what you're saying. It's not like you're getting married, you're just moving in together.

Right, Keep the boxes A and B. I think.

Just fold them up, put them in the garage behind some cans. I think one of the smartest things you can do. You mentioned how so it won't be a tiny apartment, right, that's right. Yeah, is if you each have your own room that is not to say bedroom, you have your you share a bedroom. But if you have the space to each have a quote unquote office or her hangout room, and you have your man cave or whatever it is, I think a space that's not

Yeah, I mean, sure, that's one way to do it. Another way to do it is to not worry about it. If you guys want to live together, live together. If you really don't want to live with her, you know right away when she says, let's do it, and you say to yourself, no, I don't want to do it. You know, if you want to do it or not, all of that sheff is bull crap. What it's like, I'm so hesitant because I don't know, you know, you want to do it.

Or well, it's one you can have anxiety about it and then but but anxiety can be managed.

Can can also be excitement.

You know.

It's somewhere between that I'm excited about it, but I'm nervous about it. I think it's legitimate to feel all those feelings.

I knew for a fact that I wanted to move in with my wife. I knew it.

But when she moved in and started taking out all like throwing all your legos away and saying these are.

Not my lego away. Okay, when she came there's no such thing as legos.

It's legom to calm down, calm down, Okay, here you go, here you go, Calm down, did when she came in and said, these legos gotta get off the dining room table, and these arcade games gotta go, and this poker table is getting the fuck out of here. Did you have any thoughts of like, oh no.

No, it's what I wanted. I was ready for that, you know what I mean. I knew that that's what I want it. Do I miss the video games? Do I miss the lego? Do I miss the poker table? Yes, yes I do. But I love my wife and kids.

Yes, Oh no, don't go get up.

This is the level you want to get to, Billy being so pee whipped that you can't leave your wife for a simple podcast.

Well, I know, Dane just moved in with his lady.

Yeah I have.

I have some advice for you. Let's say, are you guys furnishing an entire place so you.

Have Yeah, we're lucky. Her mom actually has a place of renting from her mom, so it's already furnished. So yeah, so it's a good situation for that.

Well, I was.

My main advice is going to be when you move in together, take the first month to set up everything, Like if it means you're putting off every plan, that you're going to have, Like, just set up everything in the first month so you don't leave anything hanging around. Like we're dealing with a dresser that we ordered months ago that was back order that we finally got that we don't like that we're now returning. We are still

Blah blah blah. Like there's a lot of things to get in the way.

But if you can do everything you can to set up everything in your house in the first month, you will be so much happier. You won't have let anything hang on. There won't be this like lingering tension about you want to get this thing done or that thing done. Just set everything up in the first month. Just get it all done as fast as you possibly can so you can continue living your life.

And what about the boxes. You said you were going to say some about boxes.

Keep the boxes.

The reason that I'm saying keep the boxes is not so that you can move out quickly. It's so that in case you don't like something, you can return it. You still have the original box, because a lot of these furniture companies are gonna nickel and dime you about stuff like, oh, well, it's not returned to the original box, and like you'll get something with White Glove Delivery and they'll take the boxes and you'll be like, oh great, they threw away the trash.

But then the return.

Policy is so specific about how you have to return the thing in the original box. Even though our White Glove Delivery service took the fucking boxes away.

We found a raw nerve. We found a rotten nerve with Danie. Now, Billy, I have an idea and exercise you could do when you're in your van together pooping in a bucket. You could turn to her and say, honey, no, I'm being serious. You could say, hey, let's talk about things that are pet peeves of yours before we moving together. That are little things like, you know, whatever the stereotypic toilet seed or the way that the toilet paper should

Whom I love so much, condescending.

I'm adding the twist on it. Billy will say it much kinder. What are things that that when you lived with a roommate, whether it was a part of lover or a friend, that that have irked you before?

And I don't want to do those things right?

And then she can have her turn. You can make it funny, you guys can joke about it and make make a list. But I think going into it being like, I had no idea that you really fucking hate it when anyone leaves, you know, whatever the dishes in the sink.

Whatever whatever it is.

And then and then then you then you get like maybe ten things out of the way. It's like you're clear on on on those things.

Yeah, I jerked with her because I'm very messy that she's gonna have to get me a shot collar and every single time somebody she's just gonna have to buzz me. Until I was finally trained into cleaning up after myself and not being so messy that.

Would make me want to move in with you right away, I could do. I get to electrically, I get to shock you electrically every time you do something I don't like, yeah, I'm moving in, or maybe just just no.

Going into it. You can't be messy or it's going to be a friction. So just like you get, you know you have to you have to take on cohabitation with knowing you're going to make some you know, what's the word.

Compromis.

You're gonna make some compromises. You know you don't want to if you want it to go well. I feel like couples often argue by stuff it's so trivial just because they never really worked it out, and then they don't want to say anything because let's like, let's not sweat the small stuff. But then it builds and you become resentful and you're like, motherfucker, James that roll.

I have a sticker.

I have a post a note on my computer that says stop yelling because sometimes not yell, but I get I definitely vocalize my video game frustration yelling at her.

I thought you yell at her. People posted saying don't you yell?

WHOA absolutely not my kid?

And you might have a lot of do you do a lot of this, Daniel.

No, No, it's not like that.

It's do you do a lot of it's not it's not raging as much as it is like very excitedly yelling about things that are about to happen.

I thought, no, no, no, no, it's more like the magic potion work.

If you saw, if you saw a D and D stream from a couple of days ago, you would know that anytime we get caught by a trap or something, my character gets very upset.

You've walked into a trap again?

What were you thinking?

Anyway?

Is your character British Channel.

Yeah yeah, Grth Clanley, he's a bard, halfling Bard.

Okay, wait, wait, one more question. Is this a video game or you're playing the board game D and D.

We're playing the board game D and D, but we play with what's called a virtual tabletop where it all takes place in the computer. So we're all on zoom to Wow.

That's how we got through the quarantine.

Now, that's how you got through the quarantine virtual tabletops. Yes, it's great Wednesday.

Welcome Billy, You're welcome.

And hey, Billy, if you're ever in sell the California, I have a couch for you when things don't.

Work out, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I might need that.

Just drive over, you don't have to poop in a bucket and you can just stay on my couch.

Okay, that would be a relief, and I'll like pooping in buckets.

All kidding aside. You know, if you guys are willing to live in a van together and go through this, I have a feeling you'll do great in a house, you know what I mean.

I agree, Yeah, I'm hopeful, And Daniel, I think you're right with getting everything set up beforehand. One thing we learned about living in a van is that minor annoyances become big annoyances over time, and so eliminating those it makes life a lot easier. So I think that's a great one.

And you're my listening, I'm telling you it's gonna be good.

Billy.

Yeah, say, honey, darling, what are some things that really annoy you about cohabitating with someone?

Yeah, I'll have it right that right now.

And then you do yours, and then you could like make it funny. Do it over drink.

Would be hilarious. If it's like if it turns out to be like Elliott in this episode, where we're like right away within four minutes of her telling him what pisses her off. He's like, I can't live with this woman.

Yeah no.

And in the in the episode, in the episode because of real sexual sexual.

Fantasy, Oh yes with the new boyfriend.

Yes, he tells her, and he tells her in private, and five minutes later she's like, what the fuck and they've breaked up cut of it, and we never ever learned what he said. We never know what his twisted fantasy was. All right, Billy, good luck and thanks for coming on and the dude we did.

Yeah, you guys help and hey, before I go, just got to say thank you for let you know the impact that Scrubs had in my life. Told Joe all this, But when I was twenty years old, I was diagnosed with a pretty serious heart condition, actually a heart condition that the I learned the real jd UH actually treats in its current practice, So that was kind of a fun fact.

Wow.

But I spent the next couple of years in and out of hospitals a lot, even having heart surgery when I was twenty four. And one thing that always helped me through every time I'd have to go to the hospital or a doctor, because I felt, you know, pretty

You're very sweet and I'm so happy that you're okay now. You look fantastic.

Yeah, doing great. So thank you guys so much.

Our pleasure to thanks for coming on. Brother, Thank you so much. All right, have it go on, all right, guys, and that's our show. I think we did it donald right.

I'm pretty sure we did it all right. That was really cool, man. You know, it's always great to hear from fans and listeners. You know, I have comfort that I turned to when I'm down and out and stuff like that, and it's really cool to be a part of something that so many people use as a as a as a comfort.

That's so true.

We hear that all the time, and every time I hear it brings a giant smile on my face. That that we brought anyone any amount of comfort. All right, we love you and we hope you're happy. We hope this finds you smiling, and we'll see you next time.

Stories that show we made about a bunch of talks and nurses in the canal. I said, here's the story next.

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