Discrimination, Racial Gaslighting and Internalised Racism

Hey everyone and welcome back to the Expat Psychology Podcast for another deep dive into, well, all the things about expat life.

Yeah, all the ups and downs.

It's hard to believe, but this is already our sixth episode.

It is, isn't it? Time flies when you're having fun.

I guess. It really does. And you know, for anyone just joining us, we've already covered some pretty important stuff in the past few episodes, like those first struggles with language barriers.

Oh yeah.

And the whole feeling lost thing with CultureShop

Definitely culture shock is a big one.

And even that homesickness that kind of sneaks up on you.

Oh for sure, homesickness is no joke.

If you missed those episodes, no worries, you can catch up on Spotify or Apple Podcasts anytime.

Yeah, definitely check those out.

But today we're gonna switch things up a bit and tackle something that people don't really talk about openly.

Yeah, something that's often kind of brushed under the rug.

Exactly. And that's discrimination that X Pac.

Especially relevant here in the Netherlands, you know?

Right. You always hear about how tolerant the Netherlands is.

Yeah, it's supposed to be super tolerant.

But then you hear from expats who've been here for years.

Yeah.

And they still run into prejudice.

It's definitely more complex than people.

To really bring into this, we've got some super interesting sources.

Hell yeah.

So first up we have this Dutchnews.nl survey.

OK

They talked to over three thousand expats.

That's a lot of people.

And the results are pretty shocking.

Yeah.

We also have an article from I am expat that gives advice on how to deal with racism at work.

Okay, that's really useful.

And then we've got guidance from mind.org.uk about how discrimination can really mess with your mental health.

Oh yeah. The mental health aspect is huge.

The big So let's get into these sources. That Dutchnews.nl survey in particular is pretty eye opening.

Yeah, let's start with that one.

Well almost half of the expats who answered the survey said they've experienced discrimination first hand here in the

Wow. Almost half. That's a lot more than I would have guessed.

It's not just about seeing it happen to other people.

Like it's actually happening to them directly.

Exactly.

So it's not just like those blatant in your face kind of situations. It's like those everyday subtle things that can actually be even worse.

Those little digs. The dismissive comment

Like the assumptions people make about you just because you're from somewhere else.

Exactly. And it all builds up, you know.

Really does chip away at you.

For example, one person in the survey said they were told to go back to their own country.

Wow, just for speaking their native language with a friend?

Yep.

That's awful. Like the Netherlands.

Yeah, those feelings are still there under the surface.

It makes you wonder what's really going on beneath the surface.

And here's the thing, speaking Dutch. Doesn't seem to protect you from this stuff.

Really? So even if you're fluent.

Even if you speak Dutch perfectly, you can still face discrimination.

That's so frustrating. It challenges that whole idea that if you learn the language you'll be accepted.

It shows that it's not just a communication problem.

It's deeper than that.

Way deeper.

Yeah.

And maybe this shouldn't be a surprise, the IMXPAD article we're looking at today. Yeah. It basically says that this kind of discrimination is everywhere.

Like in different parts of life?

Yeah, at work in social situations, even when you're dealing with the government.

So it's not limited to one area, it's everywhere.

It really makes you think about how to deal with these challenges.

Especially at work. You know?

Yeah, work can be tough.

For sure. And that's where that IMX pad or

It does. And they talk about this framework called race. Yeah, it was developed by Professor Stephanie Creary.

Okay.

It's basically a way to start addressing racism in the workplace.

Sounds interesting. Could you break that down for us a little?

Absolutely. It's uh actually pretty simple. Okay.

I'm all ears. Okay, so race stands for reduce anxiety. accept visibility, call on allies, and expect to provide answers.

But it's about being proactive, like not just ignoring the problem.

Exactly. It's about opening up a dialogue about race and racism at work.

So instead of avoiding these tough conversations, you're saying we should actually lean into them.

Yeah, I mean it's definitely uncomfortable, but it's necessary.

So the framework encourages people. You know, admit that race plays a role in how we interact with each other.

Right, whether we see it or not.

And to look for support from colleagues who are on the same page.

People who are willing to stand up and say something when they see racism happening. Allies. Exactly.

And that part about expect to provide answers, that really got me thinking.

It did.

Yeah, we have a duty to not only listen but also to come up with solutions.

Yeah.

Exactly. But of course discrimination isn't just a workplace issue.

Definitely not.

Like the mind.org.uk resource points out, it can really impact your mental health.

Oh for sure. It affects you on so many levels.

When I was reading through those stories from the Dutch News dot NL survey, it was sad to see how many people talked about feeling Isolated and lonely.

Yeah, I can imagine that experiencing discrimination in a new

It must make that feeling of not belonging even worse.

Like you're an outsider twice over.

Exactly. Yeah. And it's not just about feeling unwelcome socially.

And that can create so much inner turmoil.

It's like you're stuck between two worlds.

Exactly. You don't fully belong anywhere.

The mind.org.uk guide uses this term, racial gaslighting.

Oh wow, I haven't heard that one before.

It's basically when someone tells you that your experiences with racism aren't real.

Or that you're overreacting.

Exactly. Like you can't even trust your own feelings.

Mm.

It is and it can really damage your self-esteem.

You're constantly being told that what you're experiencing isn't valid?

It makes you doubt yourself.

And then you're less likely to speak up next time it happens.

You start to think maybe it's your fault.

It's like a vicious cycle.

Mind.org.uk also talks about internalized racism.

What's that?

It's basically when you start to believe those negative stereotypes about your own race.

Oh wow.

It can lead to self hatred and feeling like you're not as good as other people.

That's so heartbreaking. It's like the system is working against you from the inside. It is.

And it's even more complicated for people who are mixed race. How so? The guide says they might face racism from multiple groups.

Making them feel like they don't belong anywhere.

It's tough. Yeah. But even with all this heavy stuff, both IMXpat and Mind dot org.uk offer some hope.

They do. That's good to hear.

They say that even though the challenges are real There are ways to cope and build resilience.

So there's something we can do.

Exactly. So let's shift gears a bit and talk about some practical steps. Okay. What can our listeners do to handle these tough situations?

Well at work we can go back to that racy framework. Remember the part about calling on allies? Exactly. It can make such a difference to know you're not alone.

But what about outside of work? Like how can our listeners protect their mental health when they encounter discrimination in their everyday lives?

Mind dot org.uk has some great advice. They talk about the importance of getting professional health.

Like therapy.

Yeah. Finding a therapist who understands the challenges of being an expat and who is culturally sensitive.

Someone who gets it. Exactly. And the guide also talks about peer support.

So connecting with other people who are going through similar experiences. Yeah.

Yeah. It it can be so validating to know you're not alone in your struggles.

And what about individual coping?

Like things you can do on your own to stay strong.

Yeah.

What does mind dot org dot uk suggest?

They really emphasize self care and they define that pretty broadly.

How so?

It's about doing things that bring you joy that nourish your

Things that make you feel good.

Exactly. And that includes things that connect you to your culture.

So like spending time in nature, doing something creative, connecting with loved ones, celebrating your heritage. All the it sounds like it's about taking back your power. Yeah. Defining yourself on your own terms.

Rather than letting those outside forces dictate how you feel about yourself.

Exactly.

It does.

But it doesn't have to control you.

You can choose to focus on your well being and find ways to thrive despite the challenges.

So even though we've been talking about some pretty heavy stuff today.

Yeah.

It's good to know that there are resources out there.

And strategies for coping.

And a way to heal. For sure. But what about the bigger picture?

What do you mean?

Like what needs to change in society to actually get to the root of discrimination?

It feels like such a huge thing to try and change these deep seated systems of prejudice.

It's not gonna happen overnight, that's for sure. But I think Like we've seen in these sources, just acknowledging the problem is a really important first step. You know that Dutch News dot N survey? It really shines a light on how widespread discrimination is for expats here.

Gets the conversation started. Exactly. And then the IMXPAT article, it gives you those practical tools like that race CE framework, so people can actually start challenging racism in their own workplaces.

Mm-hmm.

It's about creating that ripple effect, you know? When individuals speak up and demand accountability and push for change, yeah. It shifts the whole culture and opens up space for these conversations to happen on a bigger scale.

But it goes beyond workplaces too, right? Yeah. It's about noticing those everyday moments of discrimination.

Absolutely.

And having the courage to call them out even in those little interactions that might seem insignificant.

You're so right. It's about interrupting those offhand comments, those microaggressions that often fly under the radar. Yeah. But they actually contribute to that whole culture of prejudice.

It can be as simple as saying, Hey, that's not okay or I don't think that's funny.

Exactly. Sometimes just voicing your discomfort can make a big difference.

Let people know that those kinds of remarks are not acceptable.

It creates a more hostile environment.

And remember, allyship isn't just sitting back and watching.

It's about taking action. The mind.org.uk guide encourages people who benefit from privilege.

Especially white privilege.

To use their position to amplify the voices of those who are marginalized and fight for systemic change.

So that could mean supporting organizations that are fighting racism. Yeah. Educating yourself about the history of discrimination. For sure. And using your voice to speak out against injustice whenever you see it.

It's about realizing that we all have a part to play in creating a more inclusive and equitable society.

Even though we're talking about the Netherlands today, these are problems that exist everywhere.

Oh absolutely. Discrimination is a global issue that needs global solutions.

It's about having empathy. You know, understanding and being open to learning from people who have different experiences than our own.

And remember, change doesn't happen in a vacuum. The mind.org.uk resource talks about how important it is to build community. Yeah, find those support networks where you can share your experiences and feel that solidarity.

Because there's strength in numbers.

Yeah. It's a reminder that you're not alone in the world.

So as we wrap up this deep dive into discrimination, I want to leave you with a sense of hope. Okay. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by how big the problem is.

Yeah.

Every little action you take, no matter how small it is contributes to a larger movement for change.

And just having this conversation, you know, shining a light on these issues, that's a step in the right direction.

Awareness is key.

Awareness is the foundation for

Couldn't have said it better myself.

So to all our listeners out there, keep having these conversations, challenge those stereotypes, and support those who are facing discrimination.

Yeah, let's do this.

Together we can create a more inclusive and welcoming world for everyone. Thanks for joining us on this journey.

It's been a pleasure.

And don't forget to subscribe to the XPat Psychology Podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts for more deep dives into XPat life. We'll be back soon with more insights and conversations to help you navigate your own unique journey. Until then, take care.