So today we are going to talk about blocks. When our tests and triggers are presenting, they are the road maps to our blocks. Sometimes if we really can't find our blocks, let's line in our blind spot. We're blocking ourselves from our manifestation without realizing it. From To Be Magnetic™, this is the EXPANDED Podcast™ with your host, Lacey Phillips™. And your host, Jessica.
As the leading destination for Neural Manifestation, we dispel the woo-woo in order to help you create real, tangible results based on neuroplasticity, psychology, epigenetics, and energetics. Our goal is to normalize the practice of manifestation and empower you to get into the dry pursuit of your life in order to manifest the experiences, relationships, and things that most align with your authenticity. And by pressing play, the process begins.
Welcome back everyone to another episode of EXPANDED, Jessica here. So we are finishing up week three of the challenge all about EXPANDED. Where we can connect with EXPANDED, have moments of expansion, witness the EXPANDED that may be already around us and get clear on who we still need to call in.
And if you're having trouble finding EXPANDED, be sure to check out the community group for anyone going to the LA event on Saturday. You can meet EXPANDED in real life of people who are in the audience, make sure to connect during the social hour. And we also started a hashtag, TBMExpander. So if you have manifested something in the community, share a photo of what that is and detail what it is in the caption, and then use the hashtag, TBMExpander.
So everyone else in the community can click the hashtag and check out different expanders and find your fragment or full expanders right there. And next week week four, we are moving into Unblocking Week, which is what today's episode is all about. What are blocks of manifestation? What do they mean? How do we get to the root of them? What are the elements going on in our subconscious that may be pushing away our manifestations from coming into our orbit?
It is going to be a really powerful week. We have our brand new blind spot quiz that will be available for challenge and pathogen members only. And don't worry. It is not to lead to join the challenge if you're behind. If you haven't started yet, if you're thinking of joining now is the perfect time. We still have our sale going on where you can lock in the lowest prices of the year.
We are so excited to have you join us and people are already starting to manifest. I want to share one of our first speak pipe videos that someone recorded. You can send your testimonials in through the link in the show notes. If you have any challenge testimonials coming in, let us know how your process is going. But here is someone's story of what is already beginning to come through.
Okay, so I'm walking down town Detroit, manifested a five star hotel stay upgrade to a full suite. Walking around downtown wanted a chanol watch manifested that the one that I wanted was on sale. Along with just recently had a partner come through. I don't know if it's a partner or not, but it's definitely an expander. Everything on my list and all of these things that I didn't really think could be compiled into one previously.
It's helped me so much with the challenge to start to link things together. See the common thread along with when I was in New York for the speaking tour. I met someone that I sat by because I went alone to New York to come to the speaking tour and her and I are going to be accountability partners. So I cannot wait just doing the work I've doubled my business went from $500,000 business to a multi-million dollar business and up to six properties.
So the stuff works can't wait to call in that partner and beautiful things in 2024. And now a word from our partners. Not all probiotics are created equal. There are a million different products on the market promising to fix, rebalance, restore, reset your gut microbiome and gut barrier. But how many of them actually do so many are not grounded in science and that is why we are such fans of seeds daily symbiotic. They are a two and one pre and probiotic capsule that actually reaches the gut.
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And that is why I make sure to take my seed two capsules first thing in the morning with a cup of lemon water to start off my day. It has made such a difference in my digestive health, my gut barrier integrity, my gut immune function, and it's even had an incredible impact on my skin. So if you're looking for a probiotic that actually works, you can use the code TBM for 30% off your first month supply of seeds daily symbiotic.
Again, that is code TBM for 30% off your first month supply. You can check out the link in the show notes or go to c.com backslash TBM. All right, onto the episode. We have Jen now and Lacey joining us today. I'm so excited. We have not recorded all three of us and it feels like forever. Yeah, really does. Truly. How's everything going? It's been a whirlwind year in like the best way, but yeah, I have a incredible partner that you made a bet. It's a crazy.
I know I'm like I'm in my I'm with my new partner in my new home and in a just a different chapter. To know the one exception in the world where you rekindled with an old like you guys did all of the work in between and then the universe brought you back and he was your full list. Nobody paid attention to that. I'm like, you know, one percent in the world. Ever happens to you that the partner does the work and steps up all the way. Yeah.
Yeah, which honestly given my past experience, I needed that I needed to go through the life death cycle with a partner and have him completely do the work for me to honestly like earned my trust. And I feel like our story is a is a story basically of like soulmates are built. They're not found quote of the epa's quote of love love that.
Yeah, but it's been the most healing thing ever. And when I do say it's like there were no red flags before. Let me just say that there were no red flags before in our previous relationship. We dated for three and a half years. But I knew it was time to go and I knew it wasn't in my full alignment. And so we broke up for two years. No contact. And he, you know, wrote me this beautiful letter earlier this year saying, you know, thank you for breaking up with me.
And you know, and would you want to meet up and we maybe be friends now on some level and yeah, I was wild because I met a completely different person than once before. And I'm a different person too. It really truly feels like a 2.0. We have a completely different dynamic we're working with. But it's been so healing for me personally. And I personally needed that. I needed to see that, you know, a partner was fully capable of transforming. So yeah.
Just anyone listening if you listen to Janelle's process episode where she talked about her divorce and everything that you went through with that for anyone out there who this year even came off of a breakup or divorce or an any of a relationship. It is so possible to find the next evolution, the next person that you're supposed to be with. So just hold out. You got this. And we're just so happy for Janelle. Thank you.
Okay, so today's episode the next week coming up week four is all about unlocking a huge pillar of this manifestation process. And so if you listen to us for a while, you know that when our tests and triggers are presenting they are the road maps to our blocks.
So we're just being asked to heal, what are we being asked to sit with, what are being being asked to look at deeper. But I think one thing is really getting clear on how do we find the roots to our block or even what is the block that we need to focus on at this point in time.
So this is this is this you know so many people think it's so many different angles and it's often a lot simpler than I think people realize. And then we're going to touch on a little bit of this new teaching that will be in the manifestation challenge, but our blind spot archetypes, which really factors into our blocks. And so we're just going to talk about how many different angles and what are the different angles and what are the different angles that we can find in our blocks.
So I wanted to kick off to you first, Lacey talk about blocks and this as a piece of sort of the trifecta of this manifestation process. How big of a role are they, what do they do, what function do they serve in this process.
And then we talk about finding your triggers, what's triggering you look, you know, so I just want to get down into really quick basics. So for years and years and years, I practice the totally spiritual bypass manifestation processes where absolutely nobody was looking at blocks.
And nobody all you were doing was staying in the positive you needed to stay in the positives day away from the negative get in the frequency anything that dealt with quote unquote negative was going to attract more of it to you.
We were the very first brand. I was the very first brand to be like, uh, that is your roadmap that's actually preventing you from your manifestation. So to really get back to totally 101. I'm going to actually even start from the beginning where manifesting from our subconscious, not from our thoughts.
So all of the implementation we pick up from zero to seven. And of course, as you continue to have life experiences, especially traumatic ones, you continue to develop blocks along your life. We talk about shadow a lot. Shadow is simply something that you experience that you either witnessed or experience that caused you to have some form of shame or pain. And therefore in that experience, you went ahead and you imprinted it in your subconscious that I'm not worthy of this.
I will not be loved if I am this. Therefore, you have that frozen in your subconscious still looping almost unbeknownst to you if you haven't explored it in the trifecta of our entire manifestation process. We have three elements to it, expansion, unblocking and aligned action. The expansion piece, we have an entire episode on that we can link to that. The blocking piece, I would argue, it's not the most important because expansion and aligned action are equally as important.
The unblocking piece is the heaviest lifting that you will do in this work. So because we're manifesting from our subconscious, those memories, those experiences, we imprinted from zero to seven.
Any of the ones where we had really good experiences growing up, so reflections back to us that we were high self worth it, we were lovable. Those are the things we manifest very easily into our life. But any of the experiences where something happened that we felt painful or shameful or there was programming.
If you are like this, you won't be loved. But if you follow this in society, you will be loved. Those are considered the blocks that are still looping in there. Simple psychology, simple neuroscience. Those are the things that are literally pushing away your manifestation.
And the universe is only intention in this entire dance you're doing with it in this lifetime is to get you back into your whole worth the authentic self. That means the little being you came onto the planet as before you experienced any of that pain shame and programming. And so for the universe is constantly going to reflect experiences back in your life, which we call mirrors that are going to directly point you to blocks that it wants you to go down, heal and integrate.
And so for becoming more of your whole worth the self. So today we are going to talk about blocks. If you've been in this brand for a long time, you're also going to learn new things about blocks or hear old things that you didn't take as seriously that are going to speed up this challenge for you. So this is one of my favorite conversations.
Blocks, blocks, blocks, blocks, blocks. It doesn't mean that you as a person are blocked. What you're doing in this process of work, you're unblocking those things you picked up. We all have picked up those were humans run the human experience in the human plane. So really what we're going to be talking about today is unblocking those blocks that we picked up with some cool new tools that are in the manifestation challenge for you.
Yeah, and I always try to think of like, okay, what's a visual example, what's a tangible example. And when it comes to even taking a line action or connecting with expanders, if we have sort of a belief system that's operating in our subconscious that's telling us that that's not possible for us, we can't even attempt to do that.
But we'll be rejected if we try to do that. We're not going to take that action. We're not going to be open to expanders that are around us. We're going to shut them out. We're going to say, yeah, that's for them, not me. All of those things key back into what our subconscious is operating on. And I think the really beautiful thing is that all of those limiting beliefs can be unblocked for anyone at any point, no matter where you are at in the journey.
And the other thing that I've kind of just recognized over the years is like, it's not, okay, I'm going to go in there and remove the blocks and then everything will be perfect. It's getting to next levels next layers. You're in almost if you think of like a video game, you know, you pull back some blocks and it's like, wow, it opened up to this whole new world.
And then maybe you find more and then it's another whole new world and it's this constant evolution of being human. It's just when you examine your blocks when you examine your triggers when you examine your tests, you can live life more consciously. You can learn the lessons that are trying to present in front of you that are trying to connect you with your evolution, your manifestations, your dream life, all the fun things.
Genelle, how do you see blocks, especially from through the psychology lens of everything, you know, what's the role of those belief systems in a child's brain and the formation of them, you know, how do you see that play out through your clients and through the work that you've done.
So blind spots are hard because they're in our blind spot like we are not aware and it usually takes something, some version of a rock bottom to happen to even to shift us to be able to start going, okay, I need to look at for this from a different angle or what's now coming up.
But ultimately, they're just different ways, if you look at these kind of archetypes that we protect ourselves and again, it's not conscious how we're doing it and we're blocking ourselves from our manifestation without realizing it, but they're all to protect ourselves in some way from feeling pain or shame, from feeling different core shadow wounds.
It's just they all kind of depending on that person's makeup and temperament, all the things they can like show up differently, but at the core, they're all meant to protect us. And what do you say, Genelle, are the different degrees and biggest contributors to blocks and childhood. I mean, everybody's story is so different and everybody has painful different parts in their story, right, and then they all play out in different ways.
Everybody's story is so different. However, at the core, it's where they didn't feel seen or attuned to or connected to and all of that pain. And then how do we again, we're subconsciously doing this, the defense mechanism is basically, I don't want to ever feel that pain again. So I'm showing up this way without realizing it.
You know, when I think about some of mine or when I would take clients, some of the bigger ones that were it took, you know, a decent amount of work and neuroplasticity, I think about abandonment being huge rejection being huge. Just for the listener sitting there being like, what are my like what kind of blocks would I even be looking for in my subconscious.
What's hard is that there's probably stone people that were like, why wasn't abandoned and on a big way you weren't, however, a lot of people are not aware that they do have actually pretty significant abandonment wounds without ever realizing it.
Maybe a parent was had their own either big addiction or minor addiction or maybe their nervous system was really, or they had depression or some sort of like let's say you grew up with a parent with severe depression. Then even that that doesn't sound like abandonment, but there is a quality there, right where that person's not receiving attunement.
And even though they were physically available, so when I think of abandonment, it's on a big spectrum, it's not just like your dad walked out when he was two, it could be no, you had two full parents and your whole growing out process. Even let's say they didn't have depression, but they were more avoidant or they were more in a freeze disassociated state, which a lot of people are without realizing it. Even that there's different, there's different level or gradients of abandonment there too.
And this is no knock against the person that is in that state because they cannot help it. And as a parent, what does a freeze disassociated state look like, what can it look like? It can look like more like spacey or a little apathetic or just kind of like I'm always, always tired and because of all their trauma, they're just getting through life, but they're always just kind of not quite there.
And I think that there's a lot of a shutdown spacey quality, even though they're functioning. It's a weird thing because I think for the child, it's like their parent is a ghost, they're there, but they're not there, you know, and you can't quite name it. You know, so that's a gradient of abandonment wound. And I would argue, correct me if I'm wrong, just based on therapeutic lens, but the more that I tune in energetically to manifestation, I think that shame plays the biggest role.
And I think that's a little bit more expansion, a little bit, a lot of neuroplasticity. Like let's just talk about shame for a minute in the different, you know, spectrums of it because we all experience it in different forms, but I would say that that's one of the bigger contributions to pushing your manifestation away subconsciously.
So, wherever we have any whether it's real or perceived experience of rejection, we're going to have shame. So if you think of somebody growing up where maybe that again, let's just take that parent that's dissociative, they're going to feel rejected, right, because their parents not fully present and not fully grounded and aware, they're going to feel rejected in some level, they're going to feel shame.
And then there's probably not going to be able to put words to that till their adult years. And then there's, you know, bigger or significant things of, you know, let's say my parent has a anger problem or workaholism or I mean there's a zillion ways that we feel rejected and then as a result of rejection, we fill that shame.
It's a very painful emotion to hold and work through and digest and if we don't feel good enough, we're not going to be able to process that shame. And then we just kind of worked just to kind of numb out and block it because it feels it just grows and it feels overwhelming to process.
Yeah, because I would say like when when you're hearing in our brand, we're talking about, you know, self-worth is the law of attraction, we're literally talking about the opposite of shame and working through that shame, right. So that's just something I see questions about a lot like what is self-worth, can you talk about self-worth and on an energetic level when somebody is down there with their inner child doing our deep imaginings, if you're new to this, that's our proprietary hypnosis process that we use very targeted, we've worked with Janelle on it.
To use really specific therapeutic tools when one is down there, unblocking reprogramming these experiences, I just see shame as being such it's just one that really stands in the way of manifestation when you said it takes a lot for us to process that like say once down there with a memory working with their inner child, what are some thoughts or things to keep in mind when you are working through shame routes of blocks.
I'm so deep right into my somatic experiencing right now training and I think of it more as honestly less mental and more being able to track the sensation of where you feel the shame in your body and be able just to track it and essentially allow it to move out because sometimes the big feeling of shame you can just go immediately to shut down or to fight or flight
because it's a hard emotion to hold right so you're having to really breathe and ground and and obviously if something's too big and there's too much trauma get support but you're having to hold and track the sensation in your body to be able to move through it but at the end of the day you're having to hold and digest these big sensations that shame produce in your body and move it out.
I would also say what helps for me and the DIs and I'm really excited about our feeling your feelings D.I. which really is sitting with that sensation like doing that exact thing which you guys will get next week in the challenge but validating that it's okay.
Actually, I was going through this memory the other day my teacher called me out of class because I I guess I said to a girl like why are you wearing a dress I don't understand why you're wearing a dress I don't like dresses are uncomfortable because I had to wear them for Sunday school so I have this memory in kindergarten with the teacher called me out of class was like you really hurt Julie's feelings by calling her out about this dress and I just a wash with shame started hysterically crying.
I was like I'm a bad kid I was called out of class I can't believe this happened like I don't want to get in trouble and so when I'm sitting with that memory that you know as an adult I'm like that's such a silly little thing like I just didn't like dresses because they were uncomfortable as a kid you know what I mean like there's nothing more to it but when I sit with the sensation of shame in my body because what you're connecting to is your inner child self you're not connecting to adult just that's thinking about this childhood memory you're kind of like I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not talking about this childhood memory you're kind of tapping back in into all of the physical importations of that memory that are still with you that are still dictating how you're navigating the world how you're taking action or not taking action how you're afraid to be seen or not being seen and so I'll sit with that sensation of oh my gosh when miss Rubenstein called me out of the class my whole body just felt terrible and then as my higher self or whatever you guys use in there I'll have it come in and say wow you're not going to be able to do that.
And say wow yeah you felt like you were a really bad kid that day huh that just was so scary to feel that what else were you feeling oh well I felt like the whole class is going to make fun of me when I got back in the room and I felt like you know like I'll let that sort of inner child just monologue out whatever else they're feeling.
And something about allowing the sensation and validating experience it's like okay all right I think I'm good here and it gives you that like breath of air where now you've taken this memory and this kind of roots down back to blocks so let's say you have this memory in your life and you just you don't ever think about it again but then when you're an adult you notice when people might think that you did something bad or wrong you're super defensive and you're like well I didn't do that.
That wasn't me okay well I would be curious that there might be a block down there and then when you explore and look at what is my relationship to being wrong what's my relationship to to getting in trouble what is my relationship to that that might actually be coming to the surface now it comes to the surface because maybe the way that you're reacting in real life is actually pushing away something that's meant for you but this block that you aren't even aware of or witness to is it actually a real thing that you're not going to be able to do that.
The next two is taking over your nervous system in real time today even though it happened I don't know 33 years ago or whatever the blocks are these hidden, somatic emotional memories stored in us that are dictating how we operate that is not our authentic self.
And usually not even conscious we're not even usually conscious of them and that's why when people in this could even lead into blind spots when people are like I've been doing the work I you know I've been unblocking expanding and taking a line action and it's like that that big one hasn't come through it's because there's something in there that's deep it's hidden it's so protecting you that you just have not nailed it yet.
So why we created the blind spots archetypes and the deep imagining for it that lack of consciousness around it it was a game changer manifestation completely from i'm just going to pretend to be i'm just going to stay in the vortex i'm just going to be positive all the time and not seeing a lot of actions happen so it's just that consciousness pieces is really important I think for people.
You know when it comes to being in that magnetic state being in that abundant state if you're going around with all of these almost like open wounds that you're trying to hide and cover and protect and not let other people see and maybe you don't even know you have the wounds but you're still like covering your body think of how much energy you're expelling trying to hide these things and take care of these things and not let them get injured.
But when we go in we examine the blocks we bring them to the surface we make them conscious we work through them now all that energy can just be felt being you being magnetic being in your power being in your abundance so it's such a beautiful space and I'll say when I have a really deep unblocking in the deep imaginings like something shifts big almost always within 24 hours something miraculous happens so it is a really really beautiful space. Really really powerful thing. I agree.
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So if you want to check out any of the beekeepers natural products, you can go to their site be keepers naturals.com or check the link in show notes and use the code TBM for 25% off your purchase again that is TBM for 25% off. Okay, so how do you know if you have a blind spot now some blocks might be obvious to you as you're going through and you're kind of questioning like okay when it comes to this manifestation.
What might be blocking it what belief systems might be blocking it what memories might be blocking it okay that might be clear but then the blind spot is the unconscious think of a blind spot in a car it's literally the part in the mirror that you can't see the car behind you and if you go in that lane you hit it and it's going to throw you off course.
Same thing here so your blind spot is you're not able to see the car so you might hit something that'll take you off course from your authentic self and your manifestation so how do you know if you have it likely see said dynamics or test keep presenting again and again and again you think you're passing them you think you're okay I got this I said no to that.
But then the same dynamic pops up again maybe it's through a different person different form but if you're having that repeating cycle and you don't have a clear understanding of why that cycles repeating how you're playing into the repetition of the cycle there's like a blind spot like we said to if you've been a blocking expanding taking action but you're like the big thing has to come through yet i'm doing all the steps like where is it there's like a blind spot if you feel like you hit a rock bottom out of the
bottom out of nowhere and you're like I don't understand what this happened there's likely a blind spot and if you've been stuck in a rut and you're just like I don't really know how to find the motivation to get out of here. There is likely a blind spot because there is a reason why both with the rock bottom and the rut that you're in that phase and the way out of it is understanding why you may have been in it in the first place.
How do these blind spots impact us on a day to day basis right so they can be there and because they're trying to protect this wound you might be acting from your ego for external validations you might be self sabotaging or pushing things away that could actually help you grow.
Or you might be keeping yourself small closing yourself down shutting yourself out avoiding taking action avoiding stepping through fear and if we don't know why we may be engaging in these activities there is likely a blind spot and you know we kind of talked about this in the beginning but like the function of the blind spot as a sort of defense mechanism talk a little bit more about that.
How someone shows up with their blind spot is always it's not conscious but subconsciously trying to protect themselves from essentially feeling uncomfortable feelings like honestly it's just that basic what's fascinating is that we could be a very honestly conscious person and very like doing the work and all these things and again a blind spot is a blind spot which is what's so tricky about it but I think that's what I think is the most important thing is that we can do that.
And we can see it a little deeper if we break them down a little bit but yeah they're all just protector there are all ways that we show up out at all realizing it just to protect us from uncomfortable feelings and it does block us from the manifestation hundred percent.
Yeah so basically our archetypes were the most common themes that we saw popping up in our community when it comes to navigating this work and actually Janelle put us on to Logan Yurie's three dating style archetypes that are very specific with the dating backgrounds and we were like okay there's something so interesting about this and we're like what is our version for manifestation through this lens.
So the three that kept coming up especially going through the community group talking to friends like everyone going through it so these are the three that we see come up most often and I'll also give the caveat that you may identify and aspect with all of them but the idea is that you are thinking about the specific manifestation you're calling in which archetype protection mechanism might be coming up towards it right so towards this manifestation you might be the dreamer towards other one you might be the dreamer.
The other one you might be the disirner etc etc so the dreamer archetype this person has a clear sense of their grandest potential when it comes to love money all their manifestations however they can get tripped up and discerning whether that grand vision is coming from their true authentic magnetic self or a fantasy that their inner child needed in order to be worthy thinking that what they saw in society that's how I get love or that's going to get me recognition or mom or
dad will finally pay attention to me if I have that often their grand vision is linked to a sense of perfectionism and fear of not getting their needs met because they feel like if things are perfect then they're most likely to be safe. This person needs to learn how to step out of the fantasy and into authenticity and then the disirner the disirner archetype has a strong will to say no will not settle for anything that doesn't align however when out of balance it can create rigidly and
create rigidity stubbornness and pulsiveness and decision making towards their manifestation often their sharp decisiveness is linked to a fear that if they then slightly they will lose control completely for them at just feel safer to shut something out and they need to learn how to embrace the gray area a bit more.
And then we have the empathizer this archetype has a soft emotional side is extremely intuitive and they can often fall in the trap of putting other people's needs first before their own often this is a form of self neglect linked to the fear that if they put themselves out there they won't be safe so it feels safer to take care of other people instead of themselves they need to learn to open themselves up and stop putting their needs off until they feel perfect as well.
So remember anybody hearing any of these archetypes this week you're going to be going into it and you're going to I mean we've what we've been seeing on the tour which has been really sweet we noticed in New York we gave a real overview and a real teaching of these and did the deep imagining but still people weren't to it was like a blind spot with an a blind spot people weren't totally grasping what there's were but based on what they were staying to us it was so obvious they'd be like I'm an empathizer when they are so happy.
And I'm a empathizer when they are so clearly a dream.
So that's again just the subconscious working on such a deep level like still creating that blind spot to keep you safe but from an energetic manifestation standpoint the way that I see the three just getting to the root of it and based on the clients are the people I've known who have been these different archetypes definitely the first the dreamer it seems like if they get the egoic picture that their ego is telling them if they do these things or the
they're with this famous friend or they have this type of relationship or home or career they will finally be loved and that isn't their authentic self and that isn't true so their wound is ego when I see the discerner the big thing I see there is their greatest wound their greatest fear is being out of control probably from rejection abandonment whatever like there's a deep feel of out of control so when they're in their
side they're like so deep on the spectrum these are the people in the community who are like instant red flag goodbye saying no test blah blah blah but they're not really doing the unblocking right they're taking like the align action so that's how I see that energetic and when I look at the
third the empathizer their greatest fear in the whole world is rejection of any kind so they won't put themselves out there whatsoever like they will do anything else to be safe so really at the bottom the root of all of it is safety you know so I think yeah to now now we can let you lead into you know those those feelings that we are talking about that not wanting to feel this uncomfortable feelings looking at those
three archetypes yeah so starting with the dream or the dreamer one is fascinating for me because there is a big element of fantasy there and there could be a dreamer in a very embodied healthy state but then there's the dreamer that can be in a very disembodied state and that's what we're talking about where the blind spot would be so basically what happens for people that are in that dreamer archetype
somewhere along the line fantasy entered the chat basically what happens is somewhere in their childhood maybe they were in a home environment where they're like this is too much I don't feel seen there's no way out and for kids it's like there's not a lot of options to escape and so what can happen is they might be on TV and or watching TV and they watch this fantasy of this couple
in love and this is a teenage girl that's like parents are fighting constantly and she's like get me out of here I can't get out of here and she's visioning one day that Prince Charming is going to come and it's going to be so much better and it's going to be this and this and this what's happening in that fantasy is she's receiving soothing endorphins and so it's almost like a high and so fantasy it sounds weird but basically it's like their
first addiction one day I'm going to be famous and everyone's going to love me this is for the actress client that had you know that felt like a nerd in high school this fantasy and the soothing endorphins really it helps what happens though is now in adult life and manifestation again without realizing it there's a distorted reality
about your manifestation it's like yes you want to be an actress or yes you want to have this career you want to have this partner that's all great and there's nothing wrong with with what they're wanting but what happens is because they've lived in the fantasy state for so long without realizing it
when it comes down to actually you know let's take dating for example that person still in a lot of fantasy so they're ignoring red flags lowering a lot of red flags is they want to fit this thing in the box or let's say that there's almost like a unhealthy attachment to getting the career let's say for again for the actress client it's almost like becomes on honestly like an addiction versus wait a second hold up
it's almost like you have to come back down to reality and going this is a this is an imperfect career I'm manifesting or if I do become famous I'm not going to be famous forever right or that doesn't mean that like this deep childhood pain is going to go completely away the whole that's still there is still going to be there ultimately with the dreamer there's almost like a come down a lot of grief actually to go yes I want this career or yes I want this partner but it's not going to be perfect
and it's not going to be this thing that makes my pain go away I've even seen like I'm thinking of someone recently who was a beautiful thing where the parent they're very destructive parent later in life apologize and they're finally now getting the parent they want which I'm like oh my god amazing like what a beautiful story but she was sitting there going my pain still there I finally I wanted my mom to show up this way my whole life
and she did but because the pain the damage was already done you know zero to 12 or whatever her that age range was now that's still her wound that she's responsible to fill her own cup and not have it be whatever the things are right she still has to fill that cup up but that's kind of the concept I think of with the dreamer it's like I'm responsible for my my own self soothing and positive
regardless of whatever thing I'm manifesting and these are things are going to be great they're going to bring me joy it's going to be a great thing but there's a there is almost like a reality come down and from a bigger scoped out state this is actually some of the dissociative state right living in fantasy ultimately is more of that dissociative free state
I think to and you kind of said it in the beginning to know but the idea with the archetype they're not like a block that you're working through to necessarily like okay I'm checking that box and removing on it's a pattern of behavior you tend to fall into and in the challenge and in the speaking tour we talk about the magnetic side
the side when you are filling your own cup when you're taking care of your own well being your putting those things forward when you do that then you can have those grand visions that are aligned with your authenticity they're no longer aligned with who you think you need to be in this world for safety love belonging etc that you picked up
and I just also I'm thinking to this keeps popping in my head so I feel like I should bring this back really thinking about those blocks when it comes to these archetypes because the blocks essentially are all the things that you picked up in childhood that you should be they created like one neural pathway network
and then the goal is to get to your authentic self who you actually are that might not connect and when you work through the blocks you start chipping away getting back to that authentic self I mean I can give even your story Lacey of like being an actress first that was in your mind really built up and it took probably like a process of whoa this isn't actually me and this isn't going to fill my cup
yeah I was even going to say like I can take myself as having always been the dreamer always creating fantasy to escape my reality always like when I have this I will be loved and you know it dawned on me summer of this year like I've manifested everything I've ever desired like I have you know it's 38 I've reached that and it didn't solve anything like you know what I mean as we're all sitting here talking you know there's like a roll of decks of people going through my mind at all times and I'm like man I'm so happy
and I'm so grateful to have had this work because manifesting all of those things I think I I left the dreamer a long time ago as I became more integrated with my authentic self so when things would hit a lot of success or or press or or whatever milestones would hit
I didn't have as much of that grief process for me my authentic code is where I find the most enrichment in my life so anybody who's following us on the magnetic challenge or who has done the pathway you know about your authentic code because it's defining your authenticity it's it's anchoring you into that
and so when I think about this roll of decks of people I'm you know I see on Instagram or whatever going through my head that I know in real life versus who they are on Instagram I'm going man they could use these anchors because they're probably having that grief process you know and so I just speak from experience like there is nothing greater than being integrated with your authentic self there's also nothing that's going to create more magnetism and manifestations in your life so these archetypes we're going through the way they are going to do it
and so we're going through the whole crux of them is to to learn where these things are really deeply rooted in hiding in order to get to your integrated magnetic non wounded authentic version of self
and doing that that fills the hole that you're talking about completely that hole that wanting that will I get the love I want will I get you know the people to like me the way I want connecting with your authenticity and knowing that and self soothing through the tools and this work that is what fills the hole you're going to get exactly what you want by doing that inner work anyways
yeah and quicker you know talk about the discerner so what is that route wounded side what may cause that dynamic yeah with the discerner it's a lot of just rigid boundaries essentially and then the the empathizer is more actually like porous boundaries I look at almost like how someone shows up rigid or porous and their boundaries versus more integrated balanced
in their boundaries so the discerner in their non embodied state they're just quick to say no and it feels like they're they're empowered but they're really not because there's and there's not a lot of space for gray or nuance
what could cause that like what are some I mean I know there's like a plethora of ways but kind of like what we're talking about with the dreamer where it's like oh they they had to check out of their reality because it felt unsafe and so fantasy felt way safer to jump into what would be that path to a block
yeah that's a great question I almost see it as like a hyper like somebody that's a little bit more and at more of like a fight response where it's like no where the the dreamers more in like the more dissociative freeze response I think of the there's somebody that's just like well I'm just going to say no I'm going to say no quick kicking away everything versus being more being able to again yeah to be able to hold new on so it's very self protecting and that like yeah it's more fear there's a lot more fear I think with the
fear I think with this one protecting themselves from being heard or rejected all the things right all the things that we've been naming but how they're showing up is a lot more in the defensive strategy. So even their childhood could look almost similar or identical to let's say the dreamer the way that they interpreted how to protect themselves was different.
Yeah exactly for that with sad is it like let's say there is a good partner but right away they're like nope nope nope and they're really pushing away love or it's hard with obviously it's like absolutely don't settle and there might be nuance that you're turning down something too quickly so you got
to really step back and probably use your magnetic meetup people in group to go away to second am I is this actually settling or am I being kind of blocking whatever the thing is out of self protection. There's so many people out there settling for unfulfilling relationships or people who are stuck in toxic jobs living in places and spaces that don't inspire them and especially people who feel like they'll never be able to afford the things and the life that they truly desire.
How do I know that because it was me before I discovered that manifestation is actually a totally viable scientifically proven method of creating the life you want. I'm Lacey I'm the founder of to be magnetic and if you're not familiar with us we at TBM offer workshops that teach you how to manifest literally everything from love to money to career to beyond.
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This includes workshops on inner child shadow boundaries love money the infamous ruts and the horrible rock bottoms and so much more. And right now we have our biggest sale of the year going on where you can lock in the lowest rates to join our pathway membership you can find the link in the show notes and when you are in the pathway membership you will have full access to our 2023 manifestation challenge. Okay now back to the episode. And then what about the empathizer.
So what's interesting with the empathizer is I'm like there's so many empaths in this community so many so like I mean I'm an empath but I definitely identify am I wounding more with the dreamer but I'm definitely an empath so I just want to name that yes like you could be an empath and be any of these archetypes you know but that person is really more self protective of like
almost on the opposite spectrum of the discerner the certain a lot more kind of aggressive in their like in the more fight response where the empathizer is more in that honesty more of like a fun response they're playing small they're really not putting themselves out there as a way to self protect from any rejection.
Yeah I don't know why the word like padding their life with things yes that they they might be ready to take that aligned action they might be ready to go out there and and follow through or do that thing or go for their dreams but they kind of subconsciously self sabotage by filling up their schedule or being like oh I have to take care of this person today.
Oops sorry I guess my needs come last you know they kind of put all these other things in the way and they might talk about a lot how they're you know oh I'm going to do that things finally I'm going to start my fitness routine or I'm going to launch that brand or whatever they're going to do they never will take step one there'll be some sort of excuse that comes up because they're just so afraid of not having that padding. Not having that space being fully seen for their authentic self.
Yeah I'm like this is like for people that are in the any ground this is like a eating ground to's or like notorious for this this is like and so some people have different dynamics that they're working with that are more prone to this type obviously like codependency again you could be co codependent in any of these types but this is this feels very more heavy and codependency of almost like it's like a lot of things.
Almost like it's it's excruciatingly uncomfortable to really put themselves first it's almost like they feel exposed or unsafe and so there's a lot of i'm like do the reset di like use a lot of grounding to help them be able to really hold themselves enough where they feel safety internally and so that they can go out there if they do get rejected or these things that they can they have a bigger capacity to hold it they have to be able to do it.
They have to hold it they have to hold themselves first in order them to put yourself out there. And then same with the discerna right so like if they notice their rigidity coming up is it sitting with that discomfort is it sitting with that like.
I really want to push this thing away right now but i'm going to not and i'm going to regulate my nervous system and you know how do they sort of navigate for sure yeah it's just flipped right so for them they might have to say notes first and then they might have to sit on it and go wait a second you know like how do I slow this down let me revisit that am I being too rigid where is the difference between.
I'm settling and this is like a deal breaker thing versus what's just this person's just like if we're again for dating this person's a human being. As their own stuff and they're they're going to be human and you're not going to be you know all these different things yeah there's more more space for like humanity in it or more space for imperfection.
You know and getting comfortable with it not being quite perfect but still your manifestation so discerning to actually like what is a deal breaker thing that know you actually do need to walk away. Or what's actually like okay how do I sit with this thing not being perfect. And lazy how do you see sort of these blind spots playing into the blocks playing into the manifestations how do you see them all working together.
I just like to look at the wounding and then look at the integration for each of them so I think of the dreamer the dreamer I see them constantly like in the same same cycles same cycles of dating same cycles of work same cycles of I'm going to go to this group of friends or whatever you know if you find yourself in that your ego's leading the show and we're really leaning on ego around here talk about that a lot it's the difference between.
Your authentic self and everything you're doing and chasing in an effort to be loved based on societal family programming and trauma so that's the real deal here like if you get to brass tax you have to go integrate you have to do this and blocking I see the dreamer too often like in friends and and different people I know they'll be like oh I figured that out I worked on that like I figured out the dad thing I figured out the mom thing I fit you know and it's like.
Because not wanting to feel those feelings not wanting to go deep you know staying in fantasy and then when I see the disirner it's so it's a tricky one to be such a tricky wounding because it can create instant magnetism for you so I think that's why when the disirner they find their power and say notice some stuff and they're like oh shit I manifested this little thing and another date came and stuff they're like oh if I keep doing this this is my way through this is my safety through so as the dreamers like.
Prop depth by ego there, prop depth by this false sense of power the sense of control and it's like when you're in your integrated. Self not the wound itself you don't have that a corruption to things that like defensiveness that that quickness you don't have it you don't need to you're you're safe so again that someone who just hasn't done that deeper deeper expansion that that's possible to be safe to.
Have integrated decisions and take time and process not from this rigid place and then often actually when I see the empathizer there are people that are so desperately afraid of rejection the clients I've known the friends I've known they pad themselves like you were saying Jessica with really nice things in their life it's excuses that's how they fill the voice of the things they want is through nice clothes when they can nice home.
You know whatever they can afford whatever is within their their realm of opportunity I also often see these people supported by others so supported by family money is a big thing I'll see partnership or in a really complex and job that's just very safe and the integrated version of this is taking the steps one needs to to become bold you know and to become an advocate for themselves and to actually take action so like they're big.
They're big thing they're needing is to take a line action to work on that and and to find to do the healing the deeper integration to be capable of it addressing the childhood wounding that's making them feel like they can't or they have to put that last or put that on the back burner because it's so unsafe to them.
So the way I definitely see the steps forward the categories that each need to work on the most it's like the dreamer unblocking for sure everyone unblocking of course but it's like the discerners needing more expansion of integration and and being in your gracefulness your your humility your your safety of just being and then also I see for the empathizer really leaning in and having to learn doing the work to need to the unblocking the expansion to to be able to do it.
So I think it's a very important thing to be able to take that a line to action. I have examples in my mind of people I know or clients I've had or friends who have integrated and come onto the other side so it's possible for each of these but again if you're identifying with that checklist that we said earlier you have a blind spot you'll fall into one of these and the beauty is this week in the challenge the manifestation challenge you're going to be able to identify it you're going to do a deep imagining around it and you're going to figure out what you're doing.
So I'm going to figure out a fitting forward from it.
When it comes to having your manifestations come through and the blocking of it people who are have a fear of success it's almost like looking at what your fear of having success of your manifestation coming through is that's what your blind spot is almost protecting you from it is scared of your manifestation because it's a new territory and new terrain so especially if you have things on your list this year that's a lot of things that you can do.
So this year that are big that are part of your big dream life check if they're part of your authenticity which if you did week two you should have definitely thoroughly done but go back and double check it now knowing the blind spots especially those dreamers out there and then really sit with what part of me maybe 90% of you is like I'm ready for this manifestation let's go.
One childhood wounded part is like pump the brakes were not ready for that we cannot handle that that is what this is helping you get to that's the block and it's literally literally in your subconscious pushing your manifestation away.
And then if you guys are still having difficulty discerning definitely join us for the LA leg on the speaking tour which is on December 2nd you can join the manifestation challenge where we have a quiz you can figure out which one it's like a little cosmos I'll quiz and then we'll have more on the magnetic side and the wounding side and then the other thing is find an accountability buddy a manifestation bestie it is so hard to see our blind spots for a reason but it is so easy to see others like I could name so many people that are.
I don't know if they know that those archetypes so and I probably have elements of mine that I can't see that my friends and people around me can be like just you're definitely that one you know so talk about this with other people talk about this with friends or family someone trusted in a safe space because they're going to be your best resource and helping to navigate this a creed.
So let's do one little question here that we had from someone who attended the New York speaking tour and she was really sitting with all these archetypes so she said my inner child archetype I think is the empathizer but I feel consciously like I'm a dreamer which one do I use to approach this work.
And attending the New York speaking tour and hearing all the archetypes I felt a click when you describe the dreamer I really resonated to it the most my manifestation is crystal clear she's calling in a six figure licensing deal and collaboration she's a solo entrepreneur she designed and patented adaptive outerwear and she is such a clear vision of her product collaborating with big outer brand what it looks like when journaling her vision it just felt like her authentic code.
I said I do have such a grand vision of what I want but I do feel behind in life and I haven't yet met my potential I know what I'm calling in is from my authentic place mouth and to code is pioneer family memories fun adventure self expression and freedom safety security but then when she did the blind spot to I her inner child was the empathizer.
And so she's like through the length of the challenge like what she's calling in does she follow the empathizer protocol or does she go more back to the dreamer and reskin if this is aligned with her. I think when we say grand vision it really throws people off you know in our community because most people do have one most people have big manifestations that they and it doesn't mean that you're a dreamer if you have that at all really.
And I think this is a good way to kind of give it some space is that the dreamer is using egoic external validation in an effort to feel full so if this person's having like that clear download of this company and exactly what they want in every detail of it that doesn't necessarily sound like ego to me and it's totally aligned with their authentic self that to me sounds like a channeling a download of what their soul wants
or what the next steps could be the dreamer would be I'm going to be on this commercial and this press is going to pick it up and I'm going to be CEO making this much and it's that's a dreamer that's all ego that's all external validation that's not a pure channel creative channeling.
So I would definitely I'd have to know more about their story all all that we got from the tidbit is that the inner child feels like an empathizer but I would run with that and I hope that that discernment was helpful because I think a lot of people in our audiences at the last two shows have been like I'm a dreamer because I have grand visions of manifestation and that doesn't qualify you as a dreamer really look at the wounded the ego the ego ego is what does it.
I want to date this CEO person in crypto blah blah you know it's like it all fame all this their masks their masks to fill wound to stay in fantasy because fantasy is so much more rewarding like you're saying like in from endorphins and serotonin etc than reality that's a dreamer.
So I asked them do any of the ways that you're approaching your manifestation feel like they're part of the wounded empath or do they feel like they're part of the wounded dreamer and she said yes it feels like part of the wounded empath should one of her wounds coming up is that her needs weren't met because she was a people pleaser and it was safer to play small so when she approaches her manifestation it felt controlling at times I needed to do it just right to make it happen and not going to be a good one.
I don't want to happen and not count on anyone else and I do find myself sometimes being perfectionist to make sure I'm not disappointing myself another wounding that was coming up was I can't be trusted to make things happen on my own my authority someone older wiser to help me get this manifestation when she was younger it was like oh I need someone older to help me get good grades do good in school get a job etc so it's like she's in that empathizer role part of her padding is like I'm still a kid I don't know that I'm not going to be a good partner.
I don't know the rules I don't know how to do this I need you to help me I'm not going to take the action I need you to guide me. The dreamer would be not feeling any of this. The dreamer would be like I am the secret sauce I am the thing that's going to make my thing I am that's how the dreamer is the dreamers this false fantasy sense of empowerment even if they are very talented and they are these things the dreamers not worried about that.
I can tell you that but like I'll look at me what I imagine from a more integrated place when I look at this brand in this company I'm not sitting there being like this is the lacy phillips show and I'm the thing that may I don't it's there's an integration there I don't need that I don't you know what I mean and so the empathizer everything she's saying.
The empathizer to me all of the steps in the way are the empathizer so so I hope that actually this was a really good thing to highlight Jessica because I think so many people in our community are going to to automatically jump to the fact that they could be a dreamer because they have a grand vision or grand plans. Manifestation is a grand vision it is a dream life you know so I'm actually really glad that we discussed this because I hope that that helps mitigate some confusion for people.
I was thinking that she was the empathizer to because she's having a hard time showing up and taking a line action and I want to say to with the dreamer it's like yeah sometimes it's obvious ego but sometimes it's not obvious ego to.
For example, oh I want a really I want this guy that has this this and this and or for the actress client they really do want to be an actress and there's nothing wrong with that yeah but there's a and even what they're wanting in a partner it doesn't feel like ego but when you really step back it's like a certain status or certain thing and it might be minor minor ego little ego specs if you will where you're like okay that part is.
Actually you know I have a dear friend she is a wonderful human being with a beautiful big following and all of this and does great work in the world and she was saying well I need somebody that has my certain level of social media platform and he needs to be this and this and this and this and that was she was genuinely thinking that would be her equal right because she's those things and she got really burned went through kind of a withdrawal after this experience and then she found herself.
Where she was at a very honestly kind of humbled space and went on a dating app and met her partner who is a gem of gem of gem he doesn't have social media he doesn't even he didn't know about her book like he never he don't mean like he knows nothing he works with his hands and is one of the most sweetest souls ever and she's experiencing deep love and connection and safety in a very beautiful way. So she's someone I'd be like she was in the ego and yet she was but it wasn't obvious.
You said something that was so important I believe just energetically to the dreamer status yeah that's another really good word for ego that I've seen it present has through many people that I've worked with you know and just the people that we're thinking of when we're doing this. Status is so big to them status and friendship status and career status and love status is another really good word for for the ego piece.
Okay so just last thing here because I'm trying to really help out those people discern whether it's like the ego or not ego and that's just a bigger thing when it comes to manifestations in general but I think about friends who have had certain success in their career like your friend right who have reached a certain
point in their like I want someone who's at my same level I want to feel I don't want to be dragging someone trying to help them in their career if they're not a self starter whatever I want them to be I've done the work I'm here I want them to match me. And the difference between your friend being open to the partner that she actually matched with is getting to the feeling beneath it.
Yes the authenticity. So it's like the surface is what I think will give me an equalness between partnership is if they have the exact same mindset around career that I do. But the feeling is I want them to be self sufficient I want them to be able to take care of themselves I want to be in my power and then be in their power and to feel equal that's what you're looking for.
Or like when I'm hearing is I want them to have as much purpose as I have purpose exactly like that's the difference you know and I don't know about your friend but it sounds like he may have as much purpose as she has. Oh yeah very much so you know and she's absolutely not settling. Yeah there they're there in different worlds right but his heart where he is present emotionally available attuned absolutely does have a stuff together in his own business in his own way.
And exactly what you what you said Jessica it's like yeah the purpose was there but yet on paper if you look back you'd be like not but they are incredible together and she's happier than she's ever been you know not with the fancy guy that she was that broke her heart that she dated you know the previous year.
The ultimate test expander totally and so that's when going back to your list and understanding what is the feeling beneath it remove the physical representation take that aside for a second even think about all these archetypes or think about the blocks towards your manifestation take away the physical representation what are you trying to feel. What are you trying to get to there and working through that is going to get you closest to your authentic version of your manifestation agreed.
All right guys good luck on blocking you got this I will be right there with you feeling our feelings and it's going to be a great time thank you both for being here today really really powerful stuff. Thank you both I hope you all enjoy that episode as much as we did and if you're starting to get a feel for this to be magnetic manifestation process but aren't completely sold jet let me point you to some of our free offerings.
Check out the expanded podcast episode called how to manifest anything you desire or at least see the founder and I break down exactly what this process is all about you can check out the motivation which is our testimonial library with thousands of testimonials of people who have manifested wild things using this process or you can check out our free quiz to find out what manifestation phase you were in the rut the rock bottom the next level or the magic dark and how you can navigate.
Enjoy we'll see you next week.