This is every Widow thing. This episode is brought to you in part by Meredith Schlosser, expert real estate agent in the Los Angeles area. And whether you're looking to sell or buy or want a great recommendation for agents all over the world, she's got you. Welcome back to another episode of Every Widow Thing. I'm very excited for our guest today. It's Tiffany Rampy.
She's a fellow widow, and she also has an Instagram account called Rebuilding Joy. And I came across her story and was so interested because she took her grief journey on a real journey. Thank you so much for taking the time. I know you're super, super busy. You've got three children or no. I'm sorry, I have three children. You have two. Kids, Two kids. She gave one on the trip. That's right. I'm giving you one of mine I want to jump right into because we are obviously every widow
thing. I want to just have you share a little bit of your own widow story. Yeah, So my husband and I were married for 14 years. The kids were three and no, sorry, five and seven at the time of his death. So he died very suddenly at the beginning of COVID, not from COVID, but from acute pancreatitis that just pretty much crept up out of nowhere.
And you know it was a a 24 hour turn around really from being totally fine and having a lovely afternoon together into the hospital and then getting that 3:00 AM call that you see in the movies. You know those first few hours you just do a lot of this cannot be my life and questioning every single thing and what's going to happen and total shock and. He was only, what, 39? He was 39. I was 37 at the time. Yeah, we all have suffered from
the the sudden loss. All of our husbands died suddenly and we were, you know, on the younger side with young kids. So we definitely understand what you were going through and it's it's been three years now. It'll be four years in May, actually. Oh wow, yeah. And how how was that first year for you? Because I know what I think about you from your Instagram stories and your your account and you seem very brave and outgoing and take risks and want to have fun and live life to the fullest.
Was that your response right away? No, definitely not. I mean, you know, that first year just felt like wading through mud in a puddle of my own tears, sort of. Right. I I. And you had a 5 and a 7 year old, I mean that's so young. Oh yeah, there were very little. I kept saying to myself, he's not going to be 5 forever. He's not going to be 5 forever. He was very challenging and she was too, you know, it's it was a hard time. We had a really amazing support community.
So I know everybody doesn't have that, and I did, and so I'm thankful for that. But you know, you just feel like you can hardly breathe most of the time. So when did it change? Because how did travel come in for? So for people that don't know Tiffany, her Instagram account has been following all of her travel adventures and she has been inspiring a lot of people to get out and travel solo with their children. To put the widow aspect on it as well, I think just adds another
layer for a lot of people. You become frozen after something like that and fearful. So can you talk a little bit about how that came about and your healing process? Yeah, well, like I said, my community was so amazing. So I have this cousin who was at the time single and a little bit in between things and she just said I'll come stay with you for as long as you need me to. And I said yes, please come, but let's go to Colorado. Like I just I I was sort of just
in full flight mode. So he died May of 2020, the beginning of June. As soon as school let out, we just drove cross country, stayed for about 3 weeks and you know, just got away. And you also had the pandemic to try to manage on top of that. That's crazy. That's. Extra challenging? Yeah, it was. Although I have to tell you, I was sort of just like whatever, you know, like put on the masks, sanitize your hands, We are going.
Right. Well, the great thing about Colorado, we were in Colorado for about a month that summer and it's people are outdoors, you're hiking, you're keeping distance on the trail, but there's more opportunity to be outside. Right. In a way, the pandemic, I think, because one of my reactions was just bring my little family in closer and you kind of had permission, you know, without having to ask for permission because people just weren't getting together.
They couldn't come over. And you know, Lacey was rolling off her couch to try to avoid people coming by her house. They were knocking on the door and she's like rolling away. I'm. Crawling right? You didn't really have to deal with any of that. But it's true, Colorado. What?
What did you do then? We just did a lot of hiking you know enjoying the outdoors but it just that just sort of started something where even on the tiniest because this was just like a month after I could just feel like OK that like seeing the beauty in the world is helpful. It's a reminder that even though I am in the total muck that there, there are still beautiful things and I can't ignore them. Right. So that really helped me.
And then the following summer I just said we're actually going to leave for the whole summer and we did a huge round the country road trip. We travelled about 6000 miles in the car and. And you planned all that yourself? I did. I mean, you know, I grabbed people to come with us along the way for some of the journey. So some of the legs, my parents came, I had my brother-in-law came for some. But really I was just like, this is something we had always done
as a family. I didn't want to stop and I knew it was good for us to get away and to keep seeing the world. But that just kind of kept spiraling and getting bigger and bigger until I was like, let's just take the whole year and go around the world. Right. Which is so crazy. I get trip anxiety. I had a little trip anxiety before my husband died. But after he died, I really, you know, that controlling thing tried to kick in and you can't control everything when you're
traveling, especially with kids. So it for me, it was more like, Oh no, I'm not going to do any of that. I would tack on with somebody else, like they were taking a family trip and I'd be like, hey, you mind if we join in, you know, So I didn't have to plan anything. So to take that on is pretty impressive. So what did your kids think about all of this travel because the summer I can see, because everybody takes summer trips, but like during the the world trip, leaving school?
And all of that and their friends and their routines. Yeah, it started as summer, summer travel. And so they were find that there were always contingencies like mom, I want to be home by my birthday or I want to be home for this event. So we kind of worked around that and when the idea of the year off. So the plan coming into this year is that my daughter was going to be in 6th grade and my son in 3rd. And so it just seems like sort of the last chance to be able to
do something like this. Like she was going into middle school and I've been a fourth grade teacher most of my career, so I was like, I can still handle 6th grade stuff. Math, but actually. Yeah, just barely. But you definitely. Have a leg up being an educator because I wouldn't know how to do that. No clue. Yeah, that's true.
But when I got the idea, and I'm kind of like the person, like once the idea goes in my head, I just, I'm just like, let's just go for it. So I tried to proposition it to them like it was their idea. Oh, hilarious, I thought. Teacher. I'm gonna take that in maybe a little. Late. I just told them I saw something amazing on Instagram today and I was telling them about this other family who was travelling and they were like, that's so cool. And I was like, should we do that?
And they're like, yeah, Mom, can we? And you're like you wouldn't be already packed. Up at the corner, right? Yeah, you already packed up, so let's go. What? Were your friends and family saying because they had to? I would think at least some people would be concerned and worried that maybe you were making these big decisions in a in a time in your life when you shouldn't be making any big
decisions. Yeah, I mean, I think because we had been through, you know, at this time about almost three years already of traveling and we had gone internationally, just the three of us. And so it sort of proven that we were capable of traveling, the three of us. But mostly my parent, I mean, all my friends and everybody else was like, this is so cool, Go, I'm proud of you. My mom was like, don't go, don't go, don't go.
Right. My dad was more like talk me through all of the safety precautions that you have planned and make sure you register with the embassy. You know, he was very practical. Oh wow. I never. I never even thought about the embassy. There's just so much plan like healthcare, I kept thinking about that you can have those plans that you can get through your healthcare system, but every country so different and you went to some countries that
I don't know anything about. So I wouldn't even know if someone got sick. Where what? What would I do? Did anybody get sick on any of the trips? We were very, very fortunate. The only sickness we had was a migraine headache. And I mean, and maybe that was my daughter who was like. Ours that are rambling around the world with your children. Would think. Is it scary going into different countries with the language barrier and just, you know, as a single mom with your kids? Yeah.
So the previous, so last summer in the summer of 20. Let's see, what year is it now, 24. 24 We don't know exactly. We still claim widow brain, yeah? Let me start over, you can edit that up.
OK. So last summer in 2022 we travelled to Spain and Portugal and did like a month long road trip there and that was sort of my tester to see you know, how is it travelling internationally with the kids also personally I had travelled to Honduras several times when I was in my 20s, so I was familiar with Central America. I speak a pretty good amount of Spanish and I don't have a lot of fear. I just don't carry a lot of fear as a human, so and. That I'm shocked.
That didn't change after, because you know, for a lot of people, when your husband dies, suddenly there becomes this idea that something bad could happen at any moment. I'm actually really impressed by that, the fact that you didn't, because trauma usually does rewire the brain and fear gets introduced. So that I want to know your secret. I I I don't have a secret. I just feel like for me it worked out like we were living life in a quote UN quote Safeway and he died and I had 0 control
over that. And so if I was going to then live in fear that all of my loved ones could die any moment, I might as well make the most of every day and go out and take hold of it. And that's just kind of what I would have been driven by, I think, since he died. Was there any moment on a trip when you did think you were going to die? No. What about the laptop situation? Like those kind of things?
I don't know. I do have fears from trauma, so I'm learning from you because I would really like to be able to change that that dialogue in my head and the when the thing happened with the computer, that would just be like, OK, of course that happens. Everybody tells you be careful in Rio. So what happened in Rio is we had an overnight flight into the city and then we arrived at like, you know, 6:00 AM or something, got picked up by an Uber cause. In theory, Uber's safer 'cause.
It's like vetted and, you know, reviews and everything. But we were so tired and the airport in Rio is an hour from where we were staying in Copacabana. So we. All sing the song the. Whole time I was there, I know. So we were sitting in the in the cab and I had my backpack between my legs. But I was in the middle and the kids were on either side of me and we were all just like sleeping. And I think the cab driver just reached in my backpack and that. Is crazy. And and I wasn't afraid.
I was just like, oh, that was so stupid. I knew to be more careful in Reno and I fell asleep and it was right there. So I just, you know, I wasn't more afraid for my life because of that. I was like, this is the petty theft that everybody told me about and I wasn't cautious enough. And then what do you do? Cuz it's not like, I mean, maybe there is an Apple store or something and you just walk over and pick up a new one. But this is also what you do.
You have an Instagram, so that's a big part of your quote job. I just only did work I could do on my phone for the next 4 weeks until I got home for the holidays and then I repurchased Oh my God, it was more of a oh crap moment. Like I just wasted $2000, right? Hey guys, Whitney here and I'm about to share some information with you that can make a very stressful situation super, super easy. Talking about buying or selling a home, I have the perfect
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And now back to the episode. I don't. I know. We've talked about it on our podcast that when we return from Trips and you don't have your husband, coming back into the home was always a little daunting to me, so I liked being gone. Any chance I could be gone, I would take it. Think Kira definitely had that way in the world too, but how did you feel when you would return from those? Trips. Yeah, for a long time that was
really hard. Even like going to the park and coming home at the beginning, I remember being hard. Yes, big huge trip let down. And like, you know, it's like reopening A wound when you walk in the door and you're like, he's supposed to be here. He's still not here. Like your brain expects it that he's going to be there. I'd say that lasted probably until we came back from Spain, so until we went on our big, big trip.
And then once we had come back from then from that trip, I was in another relationship and so I had another human who I was expecting to see and waiting. Yeah. So we hear congratulations are in order that you recently engaged and we're all just awesome. Like, how did you manage dating and beginning a new relationship in the middle of all of your travel adventures and
homeschooling your kids or? The the question in and of itself, which lends to like there's too much going on there is ended up being why we came home early because the travels were amazing and wonderful and super hard, but really was like so hard to maintain a healthy relationship while on the other side of the world. But he and I actually started dating just about a year after my husband passed.
And I don't know if you all know this, but I host a podcast called Dating After Death. Yeah, you do. So how did you guys meet? We met on Hinge. So did my fiance plug for Hinge I. Guess I could get. On hinge. Hinge is where it's at, ladies. Yeah. So how long did you how long did it take before you knew he was like your? Person oh gosh. I mean, there was a lot of, there's a lot of up and down.
I think the answer to that is more in like if if you really want to know all the roller coaster of it, you could listen through the seasons of that that show. But it's just so complicated. Those of you who have done it or are doing it like dating after losing your spouse is is mind boggling sort of. I would say we were both very committed. I think being away and having this time where where I was gone, gone made us really realize like, Oh no, we want this every day, all the time.
And when I came home for Christmas just a few months ago, we I decided like this has been enough. We miss each other. It's time to, like, commit to this instead of some arbitrary goal of making it around the world and hitting a certain amount of countries right. But you did, you did go around the world and how many countries? How many countries? Nine or something. Like that Nine. Yeah. Including one that I went to just by myself, but yeah. That's incredible.
So back to the Instagram. One of the things that resonated with me a lot, because I traveled a lot too. I had huge escapism. In fact when I was, I was injured in the car accident that took my husband and I was in the hospital for weeks and weeks and on a lot of medication. And I had all these delusions of moving to Hawaii, which I had
never visited. And I was telling people all these things when I was on drugs in the hospital that like I was going to just run, take the kids and just vanish off the face of the earth and just run away. So I'd. I get that desire so much really resonate with that whole like fight or flight and just kind of feeling better when you're away. But one of the things that I also experienced was when I was in a beautiful place that reminded me of my husband.
It was almost like a religious experience where I was feeling close to him, like standing on a beach or in a mountain. And you mentioned in your Instagram, I don't have the quote in front of me, but it was something really beautiful about how it started as running away from the pain. And then in the end you realize that you were bringing him with you, which I thought was really touching and moving. Yeah, I have that same experience.
I think that's why for for so long I went to the sunrise every morning or most mornings because we were living by the lake and I could just pop over there and it was like I sat there and watching the sunrise I felt like I was getting this little glimpse of heaven and I feel like it was a way to sort of spend time with him. And you know that was my also my time to spend with God and I just it it felt very enriching right. And just like again about the
beautiful things. You know it's it just it's also sort of puts things in perspective right to see the rest of the world and how so many people are dealing with so many large challenges and. You know, and there's this endless world to explore and to see. And I don't know, for me, it made me feel like I don't want to under undersell the difficulty of widowhood, right? But like, for me, I really put it in perspective like, OK, lots of people are going through challenging things and we are.
We're going to make it. We're a big world out there, yeah. Well, and I love that you're you're dressing. I mean, look, it's not like you're healed and, you know, everything's happy and you're getting remarried and we're a new family. I mean, you're still, you still have your days. And I would imagine I had a lot more days when I was travelling with my kids by myself, you know, because there wasn't my husband there. I mean, I got cussed out in the
Louvre by one of my kids. You know, how were the kids with all of this travel and being away from their what they know? Because was it you, Lacey, that said something? Yeah, my son is an introvert and he's, well, he's in college now in London, so he's having to get over it. But he didn't like change. And so the therapist that I had said you're going to have to be very different than because I
like to escape. I wanted to go all the time, but he was not going to thrive in that environment at all. So I had to be more grounded and be home a lot more. I just wondered how your kids were, what their personalities were like. I think the experience of traveling full time was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Like I I even remember hearing some travel families say like, oh, those were the best years of our life, but they were the hardest.
And I remember thinking like, what could be so hard? Oh, happening all over the place. Like, seeing the world sounds amazing. And really, I think it was, it was them genuinely missing their friends. And then the only way they could miss their friends was like, by talking online. And then I felt guilty, 'cause they were on their devices and I was like, we're in Ecuador, get off your screen, you know? But they were like, but that's where my friends are, you know?
So there was a really hard push and pull between like remembering this wasn't vacation and they still needed their social outlet and we still wanted to see the places we were, but not like at vacation speed. It was just. How long did you stay in each spot? Yeah, it kind of varied. So Ecuador, we stayed the longest. We were there for a month. Most other places we were there two to three weeks. But there were some other things I just didn't really plan well, Like Ecuador was probably our
hardest month. And I think we were in this apartment building, and it was filled with sort of retired expats, American expats who did not want children in their building. And even though we were very respectful and quiet, there were like, complaints because my kids were hanging out on the rooftop deck by themselves. And, you know, they're 11:00 and 9:00. It's not like they're causing commotion. But so I was like, OK, they have nowhere to go outside. They need to talk to their friends.
There are no toys here. I can't just let them wander in the city, you know? So that part, it was just very, it was challenging. And I think it's not really natural to spend that much time with your kids. Right, right. Yeah. Even now with my big kids, so mine are what are they? They're 2018 and 14. We just did a Costa Rica 910 days at the holidays and that was plenty.
And then they want to get home. They want to see the dogs, they want to see their friends, They want to get their space from their siblings. I think one thing that happens when you're widowed, when you lose your spouse is you get real
close, real fast with your kids. I mean, my kids and I, we are tight because we went through this horrific thing together and we miss this person together and you get really close with them, but they definitely, they definitely need their space and the friend piece I would think would be and that would have
been hard being away like that. Like we are close but almost too much like to the point where I especially when we came back and over the holidays and everything, I was just realizing like they are too dependent on on my pension. And you know my son is very chatty and he is used to having happy audience at all times. But you know I'm like you you first of all you can't have my attention all the time. Like when when then my fiance comes into the picture.
It's hard for him, for my kids to share my attention And I'm like, no, we need to like find sort of a share, share each other situation here. That makes a lot of sense. My fiance has a daughter and she's an only child of divorced parents and so it's she's used to I think having a lot more focus on her and her needs met or mine like basically raised themselves after my husband died.
I was like I don't have time for that or the energy no. But it is just a different dynamic when they're used to having more attention and like needing and then you bring you know I I sometimes try to figure out where my role is with with her and her dad right. Like, she's super, super close with her dad and likes to have a lot of his attention and energy, which I appreciate. But yeah, you have to find a
balance. We're trying to figure that out now like he's doing a little acting out I think because he has to share my attention. So we're trying to figure out, right, like, OK, how much one-on-one time do I give him every day so he feels satisfied that the rest of the time he has
to share me and. I have a question about the relationship side of it because I we've all dated and the thing that I and we have one that's engaged obviously in the group, but it's hard to. I talked to a widower friend of mine who's remarried and he said that it's hard in that situation because you want to be able to honor your past but also not alienate the person in your present. It's a fine, you know, dance there. So how do you manage all of that?
I think to his credit really knows the importance of of my late husband. Mike's like legacy and and it's part of my story, but in my kids life too. Yeah. I also will say, you know, it's not like I talk about Mike all the time because I think there's a certain level of respect for him, right? Where I if I'm telling a story that Mike was involved in, I never would shy away from saying, oh, we did this and we went there and this was a place of ours.
But like he had, he doesn't. My my fiance, who? Actually, this is news, but we actually just got married this past weekend, 'cause we're about to move in to. Congratulations. Thank you. So we just did a small wedding here. First started here first, yeah. But so my now husband, he, you know, there's nothing in him that feels like jealous of my relationship with Mike. You know, he knew it was beautiful. I think he recognizes it's part of who I am and who we are as a family.
Does he have a brother? I was just going to say. That. Because we're single. We're like, he sounds amazing, yeah. He does. I have found that it's so important, like as the relationship, as my relationship became more serious and there was more foundation built and more trust there that, yeah, the same thing. Like they're, they welcome it just like any other piece of your history. And you don't want to be tiptoeing around your partner. Like, oh, can I, can I talk
about Frank? Can I tell that story? I was just in New York City this past weekend with Brendan, with my fiance and a bunch of my husband's friends from Graduate School at a party. And it was a blast. And they were in that moment, in that magical evening, they were both honoring. You're talking to me about stories from from Business School about Frank. And then they were also like, Oh my gosh, we love Brendan, He's
awesome. And it was sort of like the world's Clyde and it was a really special moment for me. My mother-in-law, my, my late husband's mother, she was at the wedding yesterday or on Monday, like she was one of like 40 guests, right? Because we've stayed close and everybody just knows that this is, you know? Well, and they want you to be happy. I mean you know your your in laws that's incredible where you're. I'm assuming your kids were there. Oh yeah, of course.
It was not a surprise to them, right? I think that's really cool that your mother, your mother-in-law was there because that's, I mean, this was her son and it's, I can't imagine losing a child. So I put myself in thinking about her and that's just very cool and supported that. She wants to see you happy again.
That's really neat. So back to the travel, because so you have the dating podcast, then you have the Travelling around the world, Instagram, and then you also have a new venture, or I don't know how new IT is called Widows in the Wild, which sounds really fun. Tell us a little bit about that.
Yeah. So the first widows in the wild, actually we went to Costa Rica in April of 2023 and it was just, it was really just like I had heard on Instagram, people were traveling in groups and and I hosted this one through dating after death when I was still in an anonymous entity. But it's people were so hungry to travel with somebody, you know, because when you usually travel with your spouse, right.
And then when you lose them, it's like, oh, I still want to go, but I don't want to go alone. So I I launched this trip anonymously and it booked up very quickly and just had such an amazing time on that trip. You know, those girls and I all still talk on WhatsApp regularly and, you know, share each other's wins and frustrations and all of that. So then I, I don't know if you're familiar with Dana Frost. She's at the Forest Joy Project.
She and I both have a real love for travel and she was on the Costa Rica trip and we got to talking and just said, like, let's do this together. Let's let's host as many trips as we can and get them around the world and hopefully do some in the States and some internationally. And that's amazing. So we're about to do 2 trips to Bali 2 back-to-back weeks because the first one sold out in like 6 hours. Oh wow, how many spots are these
trips usually? The Bali trip kept out at 20 I think, and then this summer we have a trip to Italy that was kept out at 24. Is it just all widows or are there widowers included also? Yeah, so we opened up the so Costa Rica was only women and we opened up this one to anybody in the community who wanted to come and we have like 2 guys signed up, so. Well, they're smart. They have a bunch of little ladies then. I was going to ask that, yeah. Yeah, I think the Italy trip, we
have one one brave man coming. So the beauty is it's organized through an organization called Trova Trip and they do all of the itinerary planning. So I just put a out, Dana and I will put out a survey to the community and say you know where do you want to go, when are you available, how long, what's your budget? And then we try to pick based on what the community wants. And so pretty soon I think we'll be looking at 2025 and getting new dates on the calendar and
opening up trips soon. So it just is a really fulfilling thing for all I think that would be involved. And I can't remember were you this? Were you also considering doing something where it's with the families, like the moms and? Children really want to. That's kind of like the next arm of the business I'd like to start is sort of like a pop up hubs that could be hosted by different people that would welcome families in and yeah, so I'm sort of envisioning how to facilitate that.
I'm sure a lot of listeners want to know how you just took up and travelled around the world, and maybe you can share some of your favorite travel tips. Yeah. How did you afford to do this? Yeah, so on the practical side, so my husband worked in finance, he had a corporate job and so he paid the maximum into Social Security, which means I get the kids get the maximum survivors benefits. So the amount of money I get in every month from Social Security
is not a small amount. It covers my mortgage and probably my car payment. That is obviously a ton of security for me. So I planned to I set up my house for Airbnb, which was not a small thing, if anybody's thinking of doing that. Was one of my questions all about Airbnb and? It is so much work. Well, how did your kids feel about that? They were fine because they knew. They knew we weren't selling the house right.
They knew it was still ours and even still we've we've now purchased a house with my husband and we are moving and so, but I still haven't sold the old house. We're going to just continue to rent it out. So while you're on these trips, you're Airbnb ING it. I hired a property manager so I am hands off with the house. So once like it was set that's it. He does everything. So that money really covered sort of the house expenses. So now the Social Security
money's helping with income. So in addition I like I have a few side hustles right? Like the podcast brings in a little bit of money and I do this work with travel freely to help people with like affordable travel and how to use the points and miles system to travel for like which. Is very overwhelming. Can can be you know the place. I've been doing some consulting just with individual people about how to sort of. Work the travel points. Navigate. That's right.
That's right. No, but like a little side hustles, but I will also say just because I think it's only fair that we did have life insurance. And so there was a large lump sum payout, which I was not using for this, but of course gave me a safety net that I don't know if I didn't have that, if I would have been willing to take the risk to. Do you have mentioned before about using your credit card points? Can you talk a little bit about how that has helped you with
these adventures? Oh yeah, yeah, for sure. Basically the system works in that you sign up for. So there's like a few essential criteria, Like you shouldn't have any debt, you should be able to pay off every month and you should have a good credit score like above 700. And if those things are in line, then you sign up for a new credit card with a good bonus offer and they offer you points that go into this bank system, right? So let's say you signed up for Capital One's card.
Maybe it has an annual fee that can be offset in certain ways. And if you spend $4000 / 3 months, which when you think of it isn't really that much money if. You're putting everything on there for a. $100 a month? Yeah. Then just in regular spending, so not like extra money. Then they'll give you 60,000 points into their into their bank right of points. Those points can be transferred to lots of different airlines or hotel brands, and they can be used for travel.
And it's through that credit cards travel benefits. So you're doing it all through the credit card? You can, you can book all through the all through Capital One. They have a search engine just like Expedia or whatever. Or you can take those points and say I'm going to send these to Air France and I'm going to fly round trip to Europe for, I don't know, it varies, right. But maybe I'll fly round trip to Europe for 45,000 points, right?
Right. So in that one credit card where you've gotten these points, you've now you now have a free round trip tip ticket to Europe. In the first year that I did this, I probably took about I think legs of flights. I took like 12 legs of flights and it ended up being like $25 per leg because I was using all these points and miles to to fly. So the goal was to accrue enough points to get around the world for, you know, maybe a few $1000
each and it was it was doable. I haven't totally crunched the numbers yet, but I think we're at a under $2000 each to travel for six months around the world. Wow. I don't even know how you did that. My brain explodes. Just there must not be a Starbucks anywhere. You can 'cause my kids can drop that at Starbucks like in a weekend. No, no, no, that's I just mean for flights, not like everything. That was just I really love the planning portion like, you know, searching and finding the best
deals every once in a while. I like open slots of card consultations, just for free. So like, you know, I'll meet with people and tell them, like here's the best card to sign up for now. And you know, because I'm an affiliate with Travel Freely, I get a tiny kickback. But it's totally free to you, so. Yeah. And you offer people I I know on your Instagram, which is rebuilding joy rebuilding dot joy. You can.
I got a little one sheet that was very easy to understand and this is probably this is an easy card to start with and don't forget this And so you can definitely get some free information from Tiffany, which is very, very kind of you because it is overwhelming. If you want to send Adm and just ask for the the travel guide, I'd be happy to send it over. The travel guide. All right, a couple of quick questions. I mean, you know, quick.
But as a widow, what, what advice would you give to a new widow that's just starting their journey? What have you learned in your short amount of time as a widow? I think two major things. One is take as much time off from work as you can there if if you're financially able. For me it was really, I mean I was a classroom teacher so it's insanely overwhelming to try to do that and probably not a great
idea. But I think a lot of things change in your head and and what you enjoy and what you are passionate about and you need time to figure that out. And the second big thing I would say is say yes to all the help that's offered and don't be afraid to ask for help. People want to help. What advice would you give someone new to traveling with their kids solo? What? Do we need to do?
I think, I think it's a really good idea to travel somewhere you're familiar with first and kind of work your way into something that might be a little bit more of a risk. I would also say that the unknown is scary, but usually once you arrive, like do your research, know where you're going and how to get around and the safety of places and but like once you arrive you realize like, oh, this is just another place in the world and it's not scary, it's just different.
Right. It's such a good lesson for the kids, too. A lot of people ask me about the language barrier and I just feel like because of it's the day and age we live in, there just isn't a language barrier in the world. Like Google Translate, it solves everything. What was your favorite place, your best experience that you
would like to go back to? So if I had to pick a place to go back to tomorrow, I'd probably go back to this little town in Brazil called Itakare. It's like a few hour flight from from anywhere really in in Brazil. But it was just this tiny little town with no chain anything. It was like a surf town and you could walk everywhere and I could give my kids money and say go to the grocery store with this list. And they went by themselves at
11 and nine years old. And it just, and it's filled with like music and dance and capoeira and the beach and the sunset and it's sort of like very. Magical. One last question that I have. To me, I've I feel like I'm seeing a lot of blessings that have come out of this trauma, and I just wanted to know your thoughts on that. Yeah, I think, you know, we kind of tiptoe around that, right? Because we don't want it to seem
like there's a silver lining. The biggest thing immediately for me was just the love and generosity of people, you know? I mean, people rushed to our side and even the people who say let me know what I can do to help, like I've never been a cynical person in response to that that 'cause I know they really do want to help and we don't know what to say as a society, right? So yeah, it's sort of annoying and you want them to be specific and just do it.
But it also I'm just like everybody is desperate to help and I did not find that after a year my support went away. I felt like people maybe because I'm very vocal about what I need and I asked for help and still continue to. Sometimes people showed up, you know, and my relationships with my girlfriends really deepened. My husband and I were sort of like each other's everything. And after, after he died, I just like my friendships developed so beautifully.
And yeah, I think there's been a lot. There have been a lot of really beautiful things in life since his death. Yeah. Do you get signs from him? Are you do you hear, hear. Sometimes I'll hear, you know, just in my own head, like my my husband, given his opinion on some things. I what? Early on, I felt that a lot. Most recently I was actually just recently I was at church and I had this vision like, I don't this doesn't happen for me a lot, but I'm going to share it anyway.
I had this vision of thinking about Mike in heaven and then thinking about when my now new husband arrived in heaven, like he and I together and I just hugging him and saying like. Thank you for taking. Care of her and for loving her and. That now you're going to make me cry. That was awesome. That was awesome. Yes, that's a beautiful vision and I had 100% believe that that, that that will be true. I liked her trauma response. I'm going to take that with me
today to people. No Fear. Yeah, No Fear. Thank you so much, Tiffany again. If you'd like to follow Tiffany and her amazing journey, she's got two Instagram accounts, rebuilding dot joy and dating after death. Go in and check out what is in the wild. You might have four people trying to get in on that next trip. And congratulations to you on your new relationship and everything that you've done to keep going. Very inspiring. Thank you so much.