This is Holly. Welcome back to another episode of Every Widow Thing. Listeners have asked how our kids are doing and how they've dealt with their grief, so we decided to have the kids take over the podcast. We thought the kids would open up a little more without us in the room. So we have a special guest here today. I'd like to introduce my dear friend Sally Rogers. Sally's the perfect moderator for this episode. She's a writer, communications consultant, and former journalist.
She also lost her dad unexpectedly at the age of four years old. This is every widow thing. I'm Sally Rogers. I am thrilled to be here today, but let's introduce ourselves. Just, you know, your age, where you're going to college. Oh, and probably also where I'm on this. Yeah, pick out Mom. I guess I can start, yeah. I'm Acelin. I am Kira's oldest daughter and I'm 20 and I go to the University of Texas at Austin. Hi, I'm Thomas.
I'm Kira's only son. I'm 18 and I go to the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. I'm brighter. I'm 19 and I go to Northeastern University in Boston. I hate your mom. Help. Yeah, of course. The idea that I brought up Lacey. I'm Zach. I'm 18, I'm a senior at Saint Michael's Academy and I'm Holly's youngest son. I'm Gabe. I'm Holly's oldest son. I'm 21 and I'm at Texas Christian University. So I'm going to start with an obvious thing, which is it's
kind of awkward. You guys are all here today and they're like, hey, you remember so and so and you remember and you're like not really, you know, I mean, I know you guys don't see each other a lot, but when you do see each other like today, is there anything that elicits or any? Is there a familiarity? Is there any kind of comfortability or is it just weird you're just meeting strangers for the first time or the second time?
I don't think it's like strangers, because we've all met each other before for the most part. And I like I've spent time with Ryder, especially because our moms are close. But it's not totally strange. It's like I still You're right. I do feel some sort of familiarity. And kind of a connection to these guys. Do you feel that when you meet other kids that have gone through what you have gone through in terms of losing a parent? Do you feel like instant connection with them and talk to
me about that? Well, I've had a few people approach me knowing, like, what I went through and asking me questions. And it's interesting because as soon as you know that someone's been through the same experience, you get like a new perspective on them. Like even if you don't know them super well before now it's like you almost feel like you know them better, which is interesting. Anyone else? I mean, honestly, not really. To some degree, yes.
But I honestly just don't really think of it as much as a huge part of my life. So I guess I keep it like a safe distance away so most people don't even know it about me and they're surprised to learn it. Like for example, like my roommates and swimmates did not know this until like maybe like two months later. So it's not something I usually talk about. And how old were you when your father died? 6 So it's it's I don't remember it that much, and it's not a huge impact on my life in that
kind of sense. Yeah, you're like me. It was. And it wasn't because I was so young. Yeah, Yeah, you remember it, but it didn't really mean anything. Whereas you guys were older. How old were you when your father died? I was 11. And I do think it was interesting because I it was over the summer and then I went back to school and was navigating like, who knows and who doesn't. And like, you know, I had kids ask about my dad or something, like not really knowing that
that happened. And like, I think it's interesting when it happens when you're younger that like a lot of the people that I know now, now that I'm in college, people that I met in high school, nobody's ever met him. And a lot of people who I meet wouldn't know that about me. So it's an interesting step to take when you think about, you know, when do I tell people is an important. Deal. You don't lead with that. It makes people feel very uncomfortable.
Yeah, I know. Which is where I developed my dark sense of humor because I could tell it made people uncomfortable. And so I like, well, I'll just make the joke first. I'll do something to break the ice because it is super like, I know this, you don't want to hear this, but my dad died. And you know, they're like, oh, and because what? You know, what do people do? Oh my God. You can't really respond. There's not, yeah. There's nothing really to say.
I'm sorry. Fact. What are some of your responses in that situation? How do you deal with that sort of instant? I don't want to say pity, but that instant, like, oh God, I'm so sorry. What's your I usually? Just tell them I was really young or like I'll be like it was a while ago. I don't really. Just to to not be like, oh, you know, I'm, I mean, I like to get into it later in the podcast. Grief is like a long process.
But, you know, like if it's been, it's been a while, like it's different than if it just happened. So I'm like, yeah, it was a while ago, you know, and he was great. And it was this and you know, my family's OK. And like, I think that kind of makes people feel better. Right. So you find yourself in the position of trying to make other people feel better? Definitely. Definitely. Do I get less? Awkward. Does that resonate with you guys? I don't know.
Yeah, I'm kind of just like, eh, like. I try to. Especially if someone new is asking me, I'm like, they didn't know him, so I'm like, I don't need to fill in and just like, drop it, yeah. I try to not just make like a big deal about it because it really isn't that big of a deal. When people like find that out, I don't know. It's a bigger deal for like other people than this for us. And I know for me, I didn't want that to be my identity, like the kid in school who blah, blah,
blah. You know, it's like, well, there's a lot more about me than that. Talk to me about, like, right after your dad's died, like those months after, what were your lives like? What do you remember about those that time? I don't. Because you were six. I was six. I could not tell you practically anything that had happened after that. All I remember was switching schools when in like 6 months. So and then basically that's it. That's kind of all I remember.
There's nothing. It's just like a giant gap right there. When you guys mother was in the hospital, yeah. And when you had other, who else was in the hospital? Our sister. Your sister. So that was. What was that time like for your family? Or have you blocked it out? Well, we kind of talk a lot about how it felt like 2 days and it really wasn't like it was a long period of time. But we both kind of say it's
like a blur. But our grandparents were with us, like my mom's parents, and we've gotten very close to them kind of through that process. So I think that was almost a blessing in disguise because they come visit us a lot now and they were mostly there. And we also had a lot of support from friends and family. Like some of the stuff that I remember was that our neighbors or like people that I went to school with were making dinners and bringing them to the house.
I got a lot of like really cute, like decorative cards from girls in my grade and things like that. So that's kind of all I remember that was happening right after. And I also think we did, we did go on vacation like really randomly where we went to see like our good family. Maybe it's like a distraction a couple of months after. Yeah. Who in Martha's Vineyard, who had a house over there? And we did that every summer. So I think it was like a sense of normalcy.
But I remember we were fighting a lot. And like me and him and I remember we, we were just kind of butting heads. And like now I'm like, oh, well, that's probably because we were confused. But at the time I was like, he's so infuriating. I mean, I just thought it was sibling fighting, but now I'm like there was probably more to that.
A little fear, anger, sadness. It definitely could have continued on to like maybe a few years after, because we did always have some disputes and a lot of that was like normal sibling rivalry. But I think some of it could have been either anger or frustration that we were directing in other directions. Maybe like not very beneficially towards our family. But like Iselin said, I don't have a good timeline of really what it was.
But I do have those moments Like I remember like the day of and everything that happened. And then you know, going to hospitals and then maybe like a few more days, but nothing really consistent. It's almost like flash memories, kind of. I think that's how the brain works with that sort of sense. I don't know. Coping too, I think. What about you guys? I'm kind of the same way. Feel like. I feel like the summer after was like trying to be more normal. And like, I don't really remember.
Like the two months. Yeah, because March, like March to May, I don't remember a whole lot. Remember like skipping school and getting pissed at my teachers and they wouldn't like, let me skip my school? Yeah, but it's sort of flashes for you 2 that just memories this and pieces, Yeah. What about you? Well, I had like surgery on my back. So because it was like right after the car wreck. And so I just remember being in my house, just not being able to
do anything. And like, I mean, you can't really do anything with the broken back. So I just remember it's just kind of just flashbacks and just being sad, not being able to do anything because I wanted to like get back out and like be able to do what I'd was doing before I had back surgery, so. Just say you remember the sadness that. Yeah, I mean a bit, yeah. And yeah, then all the physical pain you were into, yeah, it was
a lot. In that time, what do you remember talking to people about people asking you questions? I think you've all been in therapy, am I right? I've been in counseling or therapy of some sort. Do you remember the very beginning of that process, what that was like? Yeah, I didn't want to talk to my therapist at all. I would go and we would play Yahtzee and she was very patient with me. And I actually, I think I went and saw her when I was 12 and we still, I still see her to this day.
And I mean, we talk about that stuff periodically, but I've definitely, like, grown in my ability to be open with that. And I remember in the beginning, like, I think what I was going to kind of say, going off of what he said was like a lot of the sadness is grieving like normalcy almost. Like, why can't I go out and do the things I used to do? Like everything is different. At least for me.
That was why it was so intense. And so, like, when, you know, my life started to come back together, then I was like, OK, you know, now this is a new normal, but let's talk about why it's new, if that makes sense. And that was kind of like where my journey with therapy progressed into like being more open and also being more open with people about talking about that. Because in the beginning, I was just kind of hoping that people found out from somebody else.
I didn't really want to like directly address it with anybody. Right. What about you guys? I'm in. Notoriously. Not in favor. Yeah, and in favor of therapy and sharing their feelings. But I know that all your mothers were were really. Emphasize that. Talk to me about that. I don't really remember getting a therapy right after, but I remember a few years later at my new school, which was Magellan I think like third grade, 4th grade, I started going there.
There's clearly like some stuff I fully hadn't worked through, but the entire time it was with the therapist, I did basically the same thing. I just played board games. I did not talk and I think it was like 8 sessions in. I'm like, you know what? I actually don't think I need this. I was probably just angry about something else. It's an easy thing to blame. I remember I got mad at something else and blamed like
my father and stuff like that. And now looking back, I don't know if it if it was really that was the issue. But I feel like as a kid, like sometimes you just like blame other things because of what had happened to you. And I started to learn that that's not really the way you should go about things. Because it's an easy scapegoat. Exactly, yeah. What about you? I agree with Ryder and the fact that when I was younger trying to handle it, there was a lot of like blaming happening and a lot
of happened like in my own head. And I feel like the issue with that is with a scenario of like a death of a loved one, there's not really someone to blame in a sense. I mean, it's different every scenario, but a lot of the times it just happens and there's nothing to do about it. You can't really make it better and like only time will help you personally get through it and like your family.
So when you're upset about something but don't really have a reason for it, even though there's a reason, but there's like no one to blame. Like there's no cause for that reason. You can just get frustrated and just get mad at other things. Like I definitely had some like maybe anger issues growing up past that because it was like a lot of built up frustration that I didn't really know what to do with. But yeah, same thing for
therapy. I played a lot of like games, but it would more be like, I do remember it was kind of a relationship where it was like a trade off where he was like, all right, we can play around and I can give you a snack, but then you need to say something about like how you're feeling. And like that was OK for me, but I didn't do it for too long. And today, is anyone in therapy where you you're still coming, but do you guys still go? No.
I was put in for like a month and never wanted to open up to a random stranger and stop going. Would you support that decision now about? Yeah, yeah, that feels good. I'm not going to talk to someone I. Kind of agree with him now that he says it, but I feel like back when I was in therapy, like right after everything happened, I was just kind of like being feel like I had to talk or else I'd just be like a waste of time, so. Or you wouldn't get a piece of candy.
I mean, I definitely. I feel like it helped overall, but I didn't really like it at the time. Like I stopped and then made the choice to go back because like I was dealing with other like areas of anxiety and like friendship issues and I think some people it's hard for them to want to open up to a stranger. But for me, I like it because I really like having an unbiased opinion and I really like just being able to say however I feel. And there's like no judgement.
And like it was a good outlet for me whenever I would kind of, you know, be frustrated like about a situation and wasn't really feeling because sometimes, like, your friends don't understand. I mean, most of the times, like if your friends haven't gone through something like this, then they won't get some of those frustrations. So I think it's good to go somewhere that they know that about you and that's unspoken and it doesn't have to be about
that. But if you bring it up, they're like, oh, maybe it could have something to do with this, And I'll be like, oh, you might be right. And I honestly feel like she's really helped me, like see a lot of those things where I feel like I was directing frustration about something in the wrong direction when it was more about maybe my trauma or something like that. I find myself and maybe you guys can relate.
I it's easy for me to to to talk to people who've gone through something because I've been through it. You know how you've gone through loss at an early age and it was easy for me to talk to people and still is about what they're going through and that's a that's a real gift if you have that. It's difficult to tell someone about what they're going through if you don't have a similar perspective. And that's just a lot of issues.
When it comes to therapy in general sometimes is that some people just don't want to like it's hard to relate to somebody else who has not, and you have to have someone who can really establish that connection with you. And you also have to be willing to go to therapy. I feel like if you don't like, feels like you're kind of forced to talk. You can't really do much like that was me in 4th grade. I just didn't really want to. I was just blaming it for other reasons.
But then later on I was willing to come back. I think I started in 10th grade and then I I really was willing to like put in the work and I wanted to do it. It wasn't that I felt forced to. That's important, right? If you're forced to do anything, you don't want it, really want to do it most of the time. What about you guys? Anything behind of that? Well, I like went back to therapy, like maybe start of high school and I felt like I was forced to do it and I just didn't like it at all.
So how long did it stop? Maybe like a month or two. I want to go back to your dad's. I knew Toby really well. We were good friends, so I know their story. But I do want to hear about talk to me about your dad's. What do you remember? You were six. I know. Do you? Do you remember anything? I remember a lot of who he was. Not exactly. My interactions with him always, I guess, like, it was more the actions that he did than the words that he spoke, like his personality and things.
I don't really remember a lot of that, but I remember like what we did as kids. We did a lot of stuff with technology and like a lot of cool stuff. I still have pictures of this, but we use like a bike light and one of those cameras that I don't know how it works, but you're able to, like, move light around and it's able to capture each frame and then you can make pictures. So we, like, wrote numbers using the bike light. And I always said that was like really cool.
A lot of like games, like coloring games, stuff like that. He'd always let me go on the computer and do stuff like that. And that was always really fun. He'd read to me a lot. Some like really cool books. We'd just go by the Public Library and get some books and we'd read those. And yeah, those kind of things. Those. Are great memories. Yeah, the problem is I just don't remember the remember him as a person specifically, but 12 years is a long time so. It is.
And when you're six, you don't know what to hold on to. You're holding on to light and computers and colors. Yeah, seriously, You're not like, I got to remember this conversation, 'cause it's, you know, you're just you're too young. I wanted to spend more time in video games that I didn't want to be like actually interactive. With kids? Exactly.
What about you? I think that like Ryder said, like a lot of the stuff that you know about your dad, if they pass away when they're young, is that like it's stuff other people tell you? My parents both have like a really good, like friendship network and they are really good at making relationships. And so I remember so many people just telling me, like things they loved about him, which I thought was really awesome because I feel like it helps me
know more about him. Because, you know, when they, when they die, when you're young, you don't know a lot. I mean, now I'm like an adult. And I feel like there were things my dad probably wouldn't have told me at 11, that he probably would tell me now that I kind of, you know, I'm in the same position with my mom in some sense. But from what everybody says, and from what I remember, he was always very smart and he was in marketing and in business.
And that's what me and Thomas both study. And I think that that's always like really cool to see. Like, I feel like I mostly just see a lot of his personality traits in me and my siblings. People will tell me things about him and then I'll be like, oh, that kind of sounds like me. He was always very organized. That's me. He was always very like into like math and computers. That's Thomas, you know, things like that.
So I think that's kind of like a cool way to remember them, but sort of a same the same thing, like I'll remember memories, but it's hard to remember like their personality. Although I will say since I was 11 and my siblings were younger, I definitely remember the most because I was a little bit older. I think everyone has like their own personal memory, which I like. Everyone has their own image, which is cool.
My was, yeah, my memory is somewhat similar to writers and that like me and my dad played video games and and that sort of thing, but. Soccer. Yeah, one thing I like to do is hold on to the things that like I remember of him or that we used to do together, like writer saying he remembers the things he did with his dads. I've continued doing those like up until currently. Which has been good for me, you know, it makes me feel somewhat
like connected. And then I also have like a friend of mine who also lost his father does a certain sport for the same reason. We're like his dad got him into it and he wants to like stay connected in some way and get get better at it or play it more for himself. And then also just as like a commemoration to his dad. But yeah, I was young, I was 9 when he, he passed. So I don't really, I didn't hold on to a lot of like, his
personality. And I found myself kind of forgetting like what he sounded like and how he acted like at some point. But I do have certain memories that can kind of help me like put that together, dinners we had or like a joke he made or you know, something funny he did. So that's what I've been holding on to. What about you two, Gabe?
I mean, I definitely remember more because I was older, but I'd say certain things are harder to remember, like in the past, like seven years, like as time goes on. But I remember I have a lot of like specific memories, like him going to our baseball games and like going to his office and watching the work and stuff like that. Your dad was a graphic designer. He had his own business, worked downtown. He was a cyclist, loved sports. I'm sure you guys are. Do you?
Do you see him and you in yourselves? Think I'm We're told that more than we think we are, but yeah. Well, physically you look like your father kind of aware. I get it a lot because I look almost exactly like my father. So who I never knew. And my personality is just like my father and I did not know my father, So that's really weird. I'm like, how did I end up with this personality? And I look like him. What does that mean when people say that to you? Like you look like your dad or
you act like your dad? Does that special or is it like? It's just kind of weird. It's like hearing about someone that you don't know or that just sort of disappeared and like everyone else knows them but you don't. And it's kind of weird hearing about that, sort of like, and I'm just like them. I'm also, he was in computer science, I'm going to computer science and game design, video games were like my favorite moments with him.
So it's kind of weird how that all worked out, but it's kind of weird because it feels like you're because it's my life is so similar and people always say you look just like him, Oh, you're doing the same stuff. You're kind of fighting against like this expectation of guests like your own father. And it's, I mean it's not like totally there, but it's kind of weird given that I'm following exactly his footsteps, but I
don't know him directly. And a lot of them always say he's like some sort of genius or something, but I just never met. So are you a genius? I don't think so. We'll decide that afterwards, we'll let you know. Well, I think, like the weird thing about grief is that people will only ever tell you like the Super positive things about a person. Which is interesting because I, as I get older, I'm like everyone's a very well-rounded individual in the sense that we've all got layers.
And so it's I, you know, I love hearing all of the amazing things about my dad. But then it's like, well, I, you know, I only know the good stuff. And then you think about if he was still here, I would know everything. Or, you know, and that's kind of like a weird feeling, just that everyone you know and it's like, well, what are some of the, some of his like negative qualities that maybe I have, like am I super stubborn because he was super stubborn or like things like that, you know?
And sometimes people would say that mostly family like people you're comfortable with or that who knew him like that. But I do think, like, it's interesting going back to kind of like looking more like that parent. My mom is blonde. People, when they see us, don't directly assume that we're related because I look very Italian, like my dad. No, thinks I'm related. No, they nobody thinks we're related. Yeah. So it's kind of just
interesting. But then I in more recent years, I've had friends say, Oh my gosh, you look just like your mom. And I think that's so interesting because I'm like, they don't even, they don't even know what my dad looks like. And if they did, maybe that's what they they would say, but it's like they they don't even know. So then they think I look like my mom and then I kind of see it and I think it's.
But that's like an interesting perspective I never thought of is that if they don't know what he looks like, they can't say that. You know, I mean, it's easier because they're removed and you can get a better perspective. Like if you don't, if you don't see the same genetics every single day, like in yourself and your family, yeah, then you can look at it from a removed perspective and be like, OK, I see it there. What about you guys?
I'm definitely, I feel like I remember his personality, like at least the humor part a lot more. A lot of his humor resonates with me and his creativity. Like, I don't know. I remember that. From Yeah, I can see it more as we get older. Usually when people like tell me that I'm like, like I like it, but I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm like I see it. Who's highly crazy? So you're both creative. Yeah. When your parent dies, it is the, I think the word is lionization or canonization.
But they become bigger, you know, somehow. The stories, like they were the greatest person and you they were the funniest and they were this and that, which was true, I'm sure. But there was that other part that you don't really hear about, like what irritated them or what, You know? For me, I just didn't know any. I don't even remember his voice. You know, I don't remember anything. And I'm like, all I hear are these great stories. I'm like well.
Just the little things that like you wouldn't expect to like say about, you know, like you said, like it's like this. It's always the big stories, the big events or like, you know, how overarchingly of amazing of a person they were. And then but then you're like, well, what was what? What did he like to eat all the time? Or like, right? Or like, did he ever complain
about doing the laundry? Like, I don't know, something you just want like maybe like a little random thing that like kind of makes them seem more tangible, if that makes sense. Well, I think it's really interesting. You guys were young and then you were older. How old were you, Gabe? 14. So your memories are strong and of course you were what, 11? So your memories are you guys were both 11 when it happened. So I'm. Only 18, so I mean. You lived with me like more. Than half my life.
So I got a pretty good memory that was personal and all this. Well, we're going to switch gears here. We're going to talk about your mom's for a second, who all seem amazing, but it could be another one of those. You know, you only have the good and nothing. But you know what I mean? I mean, they're your mom's and I'm a mom. I know we are, We're annoying. But when you look back, what do you appreciate about your mom's
during that time? Afterward, and I know it's hard for you, but even maybe the three even up to today, what do you appreciate about appreciate about your mother's and their roles and helping you cope? She's done practically everything, like she any sports events, anything for school, she'd do it all. Even when she's not doing well herself or having to struggle with, even like when he passed
away. I mean, I can remember like she practically had to do everything to pick up all the pieces and she just kept going, even if she clearly was not doing well herself. So I I'm always grateful the fact that she sort of dropped everything. She actually even had a movie idea that was going to be produced and everything, but she decided that I was more important and she stopped the whole movie thing and decided to spend all the time with me, which is crazy. I'm. Not. Crazy. No, I know.
I'm just saying. Babies, we. Love y'all. No, I'm just saying it's like, it's amazing, like sort of giving up all these like huge dreams, but knowing that you have to stick by your family. So I will always hold that in huge importance. Yeah, I think it's interesting because being a mom is no joke. Being a mom to multiple kids is no joke. And when you don't choose to do it on your own and when you weren't expecting to do it on your own, that's like a whole
new layer. So I really appreciate that that, like kind of writer said they just, they just pick up the pieces and keep our shit together, basically. That's kind of all that my mom has done. But like, she made our lives normal after, even when her life wasn't normal. And I think that that's the power of a mom is putting aside your own needs or your own struggles to like be there for your kids. And it's a very unique situation. But she did a really good job. Yeah, I'd say the same thing.
I mean, I love my mom. And I think one of the best things she's done is I've see, I've witnessed or, you know, heard of people kind of maybe going off the rails after a traumatic event or some sort of loss of a family member. And I think that very could easily, you know, happen to me. I was younger. So like, yeah, I was raised well by my mom and my dad for the first nine years.
And then. But I think that these next nine were like the most important years of my life, solely because the way that my mom, like, cared for me and my sisters and the way that she taught me to, you know, treat others and behave like as a person, kind of kept me grounded. And she was basically, you know, like reshaping these three children and holding this family together while also like reshaping herself and healing after the accident.
And you know, it definitely was not easy for her, and it still isn't easy, but she's at like a really great place right now and I'm really happy for her. Gabe. I mean, I agree with what all y'all are saying, but I think the whole situation made her obviously stronger. But like, I think it can bring out good qualities too, like you're more independent, you're more adventurous, trying new things, all that. You see that in your in Holly? Yeah, I see it too. That's it is remarkable what has
happened in these years. What's her life? What about? What do you think? I mean, when you think about it, like, not only is she having to, like take both roles as a parent, but like, her situation is like just as bad, if not worse. And like, like we lost our dad, but like, she lost her husband. On top of that, she's having to take a lot more responsibility and like, take care of us. So she had that. And I think I have a unique perspective because I'm the only
daughter here. I know there's more, but I feel like that was something that my mom really had to focus on. With Thomas, I mean, I can't speak for you, but I know having to raise a son without a dad, I mean, God knows I know nothing about boys. And I feel like that would just be again, like another layer to that is that you're having to navigate like raising a young, a young boy, and you have no idea
what that feels like. And so I think that's an interesting addition to the chaos of dealing with that. I think she did a good job, I'll say. I mean, I think I was raised well, but it definitely was a concern in some senses when I, you know, I have a question that she couldn't answer or like a perspective that she hadn't experienced. But I also had a lot of, like,
male figures in my life. I'd still have both my grand, My grandfather's would have been great, and my mom's parents stayed with us after, so I definitely had some guidance, but it never would be the same and like, no man would ever be my father. So she definitely had to navigate that. But she did a great job. My mother. So when my father died, there were nine kids. Yikes. And there's Seven of them are boys. Yikes. And my So this is the 70s. OK, 70s. I don't, you know, I'm older, so
does. I'm not hiding anything. This is put it out there. But in the 70s. And one of the things I can tell you is that with my mother raising boys back then they just said buck up, you know, suck it up, you're a boy. You know, there was no crying in our home after my father died. And if you did, you had to hide it for for my brothers. It's this masculinity that is not real masculinity. It's, you know, John Wayne masculinity, which is don't talk about your feelings.
Don't let anybody see you cry. Do what you're supposed to do. And we're not going to talk about it. We're going to like, it never happened. Okay, your dad didn't die. Don't worry about it. It's not a problem. So, so wrong. So anyway, you know, I just think it's remarkable that you guys have these relationships with your mother's, where I'm sure can you tell your mom's anything for?
The most part. You don't have to tell her everything, but would you, if it came to it, Do you think, do you feel like that with your mom's and like if you were, if you're sad or talk to me about that when you're having a bad day. Do you feel comfortable talking to your parent, your mother, about that? Yeah. Does she ask you? Yes. A lot. She talked to me about that.
I just think that my mom at least has mentioned having to be the role of like 2 parents because with like the good lessons and the bad lessons, like she's had to do both and she said she can't like put off something for her husband to do because he wasn't there. So she's just seems to be like very interested in like everything we're doing because she gets all the information because like there's not, you can't really separate the information like your dad and
your mom. It's like, oh, it's just my mom. So she, you know and I think my mom likes being in the know also and you know, she just cares about what we're doing. So always asking. Can you all agree that your mother's want to be in the know? Yes, most definitely. She can recognize my facial expressions and like if I'm angry or tired or something like that, she can always tell, so you can't hide anything from her.
So if I'm ever just like slightly off among the one personality, she'd be like, what's wrong, Mom? It's it's fine. Oh my gosh, how many times have you been asked what's wrong in the last Today you can. Hear more from the kids of every widow Thing and Part 2 coming up next.