DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. It's week three of MUPPET MONTH on Escape From Vault Disn...
Mar 17, 2021•51 min•Season 2Ep. 43
It's week two of MUPPET MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And this week, the randomizer continues to stubbornly refuse to cover an actual movie or TV show with "Muppet" in the title, instead choosing an episode of the Muppet-adjacent early-90s ABC satirical primetime sitcom from Jim Henson Productions about a prehistoric family of creepy lizard-people. Join Tony Goldmark, Emily Clark, Morgan Funder and Gerald of Stealing Focus as they dig up some DINOSAURS, season one, episode eight, "I Never A...
Mar 11, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 2Ep. 42
It's MUPPET MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And for our very first week of Muppet Month, the randomizer formally apologizes for making us watch a cancer movie last week by allowing us to do something we've never done before on this show - interview someone who ACTUALLY WORKED ON THE THING WE'RE COVERING! Namely, one of this show's many very talented puppeteers, Grant Baciocco! Join Tony Goldmark, Grant Baciocco, David Ganssle and Luke Ski as they send a transmission from EARTH TO NED, episode...
Mar 03, 2021•51 min•Season 2Ep. 41
DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. Y'know, doing this podcast can be a precarious endeavor s...
Feb 24, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Season 2Ep. 40
The next full episode won't be ready until next week, but in the meantime, here's a BONUS MINISODE in which I announce that MUPPET MONTH won the recent Twitter poll, and explain what does and doesn't count as "Muppet content" for the purposes of it. Plus there's an outtake from the Country Bears episode!
Feb 17, 2021•11 min
Have you ever wondered what it would look like if a nature documentary looked and felt more like SportsCenter or election night coverage? No, of course you haven't, that's a ridiculous thing to wonder. Nevertheless, this week the randomizer, in its infinite wisdom, goes all the way back to 2017 to select an experimental National Geographic special that decided to be that very abomination for reasons unknown. Join Tony Goldmark, Zach Hurst, Cassie Shima and Luke Ski as they get tickets to see EAR...
Feb 14, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Season 2Ep. 39
Exactly ten years ago today, on February 3rd, 2011, I released the very first episode of my web series Some Jerk With A Camera, a review of the 2002 Disney classic The Country Bears filmed on location at Disneyland. And now, to celebrate a whole damn decade of me doing this dumb crap, my cohorts and I are setting the randomizer aside for this week so we can revisit and reevaluate what many have called the Citizen Kane of movies about ursine musicians. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Morgan...
Feb 03, 2021•1 hr 50 min•Season 2Ep. 38
Let me ask you this: did The Godfather have a cat from outer space in it? Did Lawrence of Arabia have a cat from outer space in it? Did Citizen Kane have a cat from outer space in it? No, no and no, they did not. But you'd better believe the 1978 Disney classic The Cat from Outer Space has a cat from outer space in it, and this week we're bypassing the randomizer for our first-ever Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Morgan Funder makes us watch that majestic cinematic epic of the "...
Jan 27, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Season 2Ep. 37
The next full episode won't be ready until next week, but in the meantime, here's a BONUS MINISODE devoted entirely to my semiregular "State of the Parks" theme park news/editorial segment. It's been a while since I've actually had time to do such a segment for the show proper, so here's a rundown of theme park news stories I missed over the past few months, namely: - Disneyland canceling the annual pass system - Disneyland's Toy Story parking lot becoming a vaccination super-site - Snow White's...
Jan 20, 2021•9 min
Happy New Year everybody! For Escape From Vault Disney's first episode of 2021, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1993 to pick Disney's live-action adaptation of Mark Twain's immortal 1884 literary classic, a film that dares to posit that the REAL victims of slavery were the white people who felt really bad about it sometimes. Ah, the 90s. Join Tony Goldmark, Morgan Funder, Madeline Maye and Chris Nebergall as they impatiently skim through THE ADVENTURES OF HUCK FINN! Check out my guests' ...
Jan 06, 2021•1 hr 17 min•Season 2Ep. 36
Merry belated Christmas everyone! For our third and final Christmas episode of the year, the randomizer goes back to 1998 to pick a Saban-produced direct-to-video sequel that answers the supremely important question, "What would it look like if It's A Wonderful Life had a dinosaur museum heist, a grunge band dressed as a hair metal band, a flying child dictator AND a fire-breathing robot maid?" Join Tony Goldmark, David Ganssle, Randee Martin and the ever-mysterious Carl Featherbottom as they gr...
Dec 26, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 35
For our second Christmas episode of 2020, the randomizer picked a 1999 direct-to-video compilation animated feature in which everyone's favorite classic Disney characters starred in holiday stories about everything Christmas is all about: time loops, atheism and the horrors of late-stage capitalism! Join Tony Goldmark, Sydney Agnew and "How Did This Not Get Made" hosts Daniel Kawka and David Spencer as we watch MICKEY'S ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS!
Dec 19, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 34
Happy Holidays, everyone! This week, for this podcast's first Christmas episode of 2020, the randomizer picks a 2011 Disney Channel original movie, based on a Disney Channel sitcom, featuring everything Christmas is all about: hitchhiking, angry gamers, confusing business names, crappy old cars, UFO conspiracy theorists, luggage theft, kidnapping LARPers and paintball! Join Tony Goldmark, Emily Clark, Kyle Kallgren and Variety's Deputy Awards and Features Editor Jenelle Riley (!!!) as they wish ...
Dec 09, 2020•42 min•Season 1Ep. 33
This week Tony joins the hosts of this weekend's "Thanks For The Magic" charity livestream as the randomizer, in its infinite wisdom, forces them to watch a 2011 NatGeo documentary special that for some weird reason saw fit to ask the bold question, "What if the water had no water in it?" Join Tony Goldmark, Kevin Anderson, Charlie Callahan and Haley Baker Callahan as they inexplicably DRAIN THE GREAT LAKES! In the time since we recorded and released this podcast, Drain the Great Lakes has been ...
Dec 02, 2020•40 min•Season 1Ep. 32
DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. This week the randomizer flies our magic bed all the way ...
Nov 29, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 31
After taking a couple weeks off, Escape From Vault Disney returns to join forces with the Channel KRT podcast, and the randomizer mercifully picks one of the funniest and best movies on Disney+, the feature directorial debut of acclaimed Oscar-nominated auteur Jim Henson, the eternal classic film that gifted the cinema landscape with those immortal words to live by, "That's a frog. Bears wear hats." Join Tony Goldmark, Tyler Green, Randee Martin and Kitty Quinn as they solve THE GREAT MUPPET CAP...
Nov 19, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 30
Just in the nick of time for Halloween, the randomizer picks another Halloween title, this one a well-remembered Disney Channel Original Movie from 1998! You've heard of Halloween the holiday, Halloween the movie and Halloween the Horror Nights, but did you know Halloweentown can be a TOWN? And hey, Kalabar (or possibly Calabar) is actually IN this one! Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Gaby Tyrrell as they hitchhike all the way to HALLOWEENTOWN!
Oct 31, 2020•50 min•Season 1Ep. 29
For our first-ever seasonally-appropriate Halloween episode, the randomizer has chosen an episode of a Disney Channel sitcom about a sketch show wherein the sketch-show-within-a-sitcom rebelled and took over its host program, and gave us the once-in-a-lifetime pairing of unquestionably the two greatest musical geniuses of our time, Demi Lovato and Shaquille O'Neal. Join Tony Goldmark, Kevin Anderson, Ryan Hipp and Randee Martin as they forecast SONNY WITH A CHANCE, season two, episode eighteen, ...
Oct 28, 2020•47 min•Season 1Ep. 28
It's Escape From Vault Disney's 27th episode spectacular, in which Tony joins the hosts of The Weird Al-Phabet podcast to celebrate the work of the one-and-only "Weird Al" Yankovic just in time for his birthday! Specifically, we cover another episode of the underrated animated series in which Mr. Yankovic himself voices the world's unluckiest kid. Join Tony Goldmark, Andrew Frola, Michael Hunter, Daniel Kawka and David Spencer as they they break MILO MURPHY'S LAW, season one, episode eight, "The...
Oct 23, 2020•1 hr 14 min•Season 1Ep. 27
Romcoms! What are they? Where do they come from? What do they want from us? On this week's episode, the randomizer goes back to 1995 to pick a semi-remembered example of the much-maligned subgenre, a Sandra Bullock vehicle that really puts the "coma" in "comady!" Join Tony Goldmark, Tim Crist, Kitty Quinn and Luke Ski as they remember all the fun stuff you missed out on WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING!
Oct 15, 2020•54 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Y'know, hiring the editor of Apocalypse Now to write and direct an extremely depressing grimdark mid-80s sequel to The Wizard Of Oz loaded with tons of horrifying nightmare-inducing imagery and almost zero connection to the 1939 MGM musical everyone loves might SEEM like a terrible idea... (long pause) so anyway, join Tony Goldmark, Sydney Agnew, Kevin Anderson and Morgan Funder as the almighty randomizer forces them to begrudgingly RETURN TO OZ!
Oct 08, 2020•58 min•Season 1Ep. 25
In the spine-tingling conclusion of our very first Patreon Request Month, we cover Kenneth Hodgins and Patrick Thatcher's request for one of Disney's most notorious cult classics, a whiz-bang retro action spectacle from 1991 that truly had everything...except an audience. Join Tony Goldmark, Alessandra Dreyer, David Ganssle and Ryan Hipp as they go soarin' through the stratosphere with THE ROCKETEER!
Oct 01, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Patreon Request Month just keeps chuggin' along with Justin Wilton's request for the 2003 remake of the unforgettable classic story that dared to ask the bold cinematic question, "What if person was other person?" Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Kyle Kallgren as they wake up on FREAKY FRIDAY (2003)!
Sep 26, 2020•1 hr 10 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Patreon Request Month marches on with Matthew Bogatz's request for this weird, misbegotten relic from Disney's very brief and extremely regrettable period when they unaccountably tried to be Dreamworks. Ever wanted to see a film with aliens, baseball, talking farm animals, 70s pop songs, ugly-ass half-rendered animation, lots and lots of pee jokes AND the guy from Scrubs in it? Well look no further, ya damn weirdo! Join Tony Goldmark, Erika Haynes, Luke Ski and David Spencer as they fry up some ...
Sep 16, 2020•1 hr 10 min•Season 1Ep. 22
Patreon Request Month continues with Alex the Azurath's request for a randomly-selected episode of the less-successful animated series from the creators of Phineas & Ferb, Milo Murphy's Law, starring none other than the one-and-only "Weird Al" Yankovic in the titular role! And the random selection in question is a very-bizarre-even-for-this-show two-part episode about time travel and mutant pistachios! Join Tony Goldmark, Jeff Scot Carey, Emily Clark and Zach Hurst as they study MILO MURPHY'...
Sep 09, 2020•47 min•Season 1Ep. 21
DISCLAIMER: This episode was recorded and released prior to the arrest of one of its guests, Kyle Carrozza. We at Escape From Vault Disney strongly condemn Mr. Carrozza's actions and offer our deepest sympathies to his victims, and we will not be inviting him on this podcast again in the future. That said, rather than attempt to rewrite history, we have decided to leave this episode online and intact as a time capsule of when it was made. As Escape From Vault Disney triumphantly RETURNS from a f...
Sep 02, 2020•54 min•Season 1Ep. 20
In our last episode before we take a coronavirus-related hiatus, and the only episode of "Patreon Request Month" we managed to record before everything went on lockdown, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1940 to pick Lizzy Gravelle's request for Walt Disney's second full-length animated classic, a movie simultaneously far better and way weirder than you remember. Join Tony Goldmark, Chandler Desrochers, David Ganssle and Nicholas Bogroff Ganssle as they reflect on the mastery and insanity ...
Apr 04, 2020•1 hr 21 min•Season 1Ep. 19
Did you know that in 1991, Disney distributed a Norwegian pirate movie? We sure didn't, until the randomizer picked it for this week's episode and gave us all an excuse to attempt borderline-offensive exaggerated Scandinavian accents! Join Tony Goldmark, Kevin Anderson, Zach Hurst and Chris Nebergall as they get SHIPWRECKED!
Mar 25, 2020•33 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Summer camp! What is it? Where did it come from? What does it want from us? This week the randomizer picks the final episode of a 2018 Disney Channel reality TV series designed to answer none of these probing questions. Join Tony Goldmark, Kevin Anderson, Zach Hurst and Chris Nebergall as they drink a tall frosty glass of BUG JUICE: MY ADVENTURES AT CAMP, episode sixteen, "Best Summer Ever!"
Mar 18, 2020•35 min•Season 1Ep. 17
In 1996, the acclaimed Oscar-winning auteur behind The Godfather and Apocalypse Now saw fit to direct a PG-13 Robin Williams comedy about a ten-year-old trapped in the body of a forty-year-old. What could possibly go wrong? Join Tony Goldmark, Kevin Anderson, Zach Hurst and Chris Nebergall as they endure the existential nightmare that is JACK!
Mar 12, 2020•53 min•Season 1Ep. 16
