Everyone should have the appropriate expectation that things in life won't always be easy or go your way. This is the same in marriage. Having harder seasons of marriage is a part of the journey a couple needs to accept. Now these harder seasons can come from two places: external circumstances and from poor interactions of your own making! In this episode you will hear about the 3 changes that need to be made to better handle these hard seasons. The situation will be different based on whether i...
Mar 11, 2025•28 min•Ep. 385
Set aside all the things you DO in your marriage and answer this question. Is your heart more open or closed to your partner? It is easy to get stuck in all of the tasks and responsibilities within a marriage and even think that getting these done is the main goal. But what is your experience like most of the time? You can get all your tasks done, but have a heart that is closed off to your partner and you experience disconnection, distance, unappreciation, or even resentment. The true goal in a...
Mar 04, 2025•20 min•Ep. 384
Last week was our LIVE Marriage Webclass on effective communication, de-escalating conflicts, and repairing after an argument. If you missed registering for that FREE event, you can still access the replay link here . There was so much that we covered that we did not have time to answer any of the questions pertaining to the Before, During, and After skills that we taught. So on today's episode we will cover the 3 most common questions we received at the end of the class, so that everyone that w...
Feb 25, 2025•33 min•Ep. 383
When you are not having the same type of conversation it is very easy to misunderstand each other. When there is misunderstanding it is easier to get frustrated and have the conversation escalate into a conflict. It is important to know which type of conversation you are having, a logical or emotional one, so that this doesn't happen. As much as any one of us thinks we are logically minded people, there is still an underlying emotional need such as respect, understanding, love, partnership ect. ...
Feb 18, 2025•22 min•Ep. 382
Raising one's emotional intelligence (EQ) is a critical factor in the long term satisfaction and maturity within a marriage. Without this, the depth of a couple's connection will be limited and small emotional disruptions will turn into bigger conflicts (and likely never address the root cause). This is a term you have likely heard of before in terms of marriage and other important relationships in your life. But it can often be too abstract and conceptual to be put into practice. In today's epi...
Feb 11, 2025•30 min•Ep. 381
As fellow parents, we share in that deep responsibility you feel to equip your kids with healthy relationship skills—and conflict is a huge part of that! How you and your partner handle disagreements doesn't just impact your marriage; it actively shapes how your kids will navigate conflict in their own future relationships. In this episode, we'll break down four key aspects of conflict that your kids need to witness—and how small shifts can make a lasting impact. ➡️ As you listen, make sure you ...
Feb 04, 2025•23 min•Ep. 380
You are likely aware that conflicts are going to happen, they shouldn't be avoided, but accepted that they will happen. But how you handle the conflict determines whether it can be connecting and clarifying or it escalates and causes hurt. What really causes it to escalate is when you each are triggered and you let that trigger cause you to just react. In this episode today you will hear how you can better recognize emotional triggers, which has to be the first step, and then how you can de-esca...
Jan 28, 2025•41 min•Ep. 379
When you have a marriage conflict there are a few options you have as a partner. You can react or you can suppress it. Neither of these are good options. Your two good options are to repair or have a more simple debrief conversation. In this episode you will hear the simple steps to take to have a debrief conversation. You will hear the difference between when a repair conversation is needed and when you just need this type of debrief conversation. By implementing these steps you can avoid lengt...
Jan 21, 2025•27 min•Ep. 378
Most everyone gets into a marriage for the positive feelings of love, compatibility, passion, and creating a future together. It's these great feelings and potential outcomes that can happen that make marriage a desirable thing. What most people miss is what it requires to be married and maintain the feelings of togetherness and high satisfaction through all the unforeseen challenges and obstacles. It is funny how we all think our relationship will be different from all those who went before us…...
Jan 14, 2025•27 min•Ep. 377
Marriage is about bringing out the best in each other. Are you in a season of marriage where you can say that you are bringing out the best in each other? This doesn't always happen as it does take more intention the longer you are together. Sometimes your conflict patterns of reactions can make it seem as if you are bringing out the worst in each other. Other times you feel constrained and limited in your self expression and individual pursuits because your partner doesn't accept those parts of...
Jan 07, 2025•27 min•Ep. 376
The end of a year is a time to reflect. For our purposes here, it's a time to reflect on your marriage challenges and identify what you need to alter for the next year, or where you can celebrate the wins that you took from those challenges. Why this is so critical comes down to one of the fundamental aspects of successful marriage… the ability to adapt and evolve! In this episode we will share our own challenges and wins from 2024 and then intentions and commitments we have going into 2025 in t...
Dec 31, 2024•40 min•Ep. 375
No one gets married to feel like roommates, so let's talk about being romantic partners. In this episode, we're diving into how to reignite the spark, stay emotionally connected, and make intimacy a priority—even in the midst of busy schedules, kids, and daily responsibilities. By listening you'll hear practical ways to overcome complacency, keep the romance alive, and create moments of connection that strengthen your bond. Whether it's through small gestures or intentional conversations, you'll...
Dec 26, 2024•40 min•Ep. 374
Marriage is both challenging and rewarding. One of the reasons for this is that it takes evolving into a better and better partner as the years pass. If both people accept this evolution then it leads to a great marriage, even through the inevitable challenges that a couple will face. With all the marriage content out there it can seem overwhelming, complex, or even uncertain about how one can become a better version of themselves in terms of the relationship. In this episode you will be given t...
Dec 17, 2024•31 min•Ep. 373
If you are not experiencing this already, having a structured, reliable, and well functioning marriage is definitely a goal. This brings a great sense of relief, peace, and being a team. However, at different times for each of you, there will be a feeling that something is missing, that there is something more that is needed. A marriage is meant to go beyond the function and to strong connection and closeness. What can make this slightly complicated is the timing for each of you, but also the ac...
Dec 10, 2024•37 min•Ep. 372
Every couple experiences this particular moment of decision making when a small topic can turn into a bigger conflict. Here you are, minding your own business, your partner says or does something that frustrates you… this is the moment that can keep it as a "blip" or turn the tides towards escalating into a conflict. Surely you can look back at moments like these and think it would be so simple to keep the conversation constructive. So why do these moments get the best of us and go the way of co...
Nov 26, 2024•32 min•Ep. 371
Yes we have a secure relationship and marriage now. But we certainly had to overcome our initial anxious and avoidant tendencies early on. Even now, those tendencies can still show up; we have just done the work to handle situations, emotions, and conflicts in healthy and secure ways to stay on the same team. In this episode you will hear us tell our relationship story as the background for how you can overcome any of your own insecure attachment patterns. You will hear the quick reminder of: th...
Nov 19, 2024•50 min•Ep. 370
Nov 12, 2024•22 min•Ep. 369
Imagine a scenario where you and your partner are having a conversation. In the middle you begin to feel as if what you are saying is clear, but your partner doesn't seem to be getting it. You start to get frustrated, your tone or volume changes, so then they get annoyed or irritated and the conversation begins to escalate. This episode is all about how the meaning of conversations can easily get misunderstood and misinterpreted. The longer you are in a relationship the higher chance there is of...
Nov 05, 2024•29 min•Ep. 368
Whenever you meet an obstacle it is common to ask "why" it happened or even "why" you started down this particular path. You might even ask yourself why you got married or why you should continue when it feels particularly challenging with your partner. There are different ideas (and even studies) that give reasons for why people get married. The top ones are for love and companionship while the next on the list are to have kids, followed by financial and legal reasons. In this episode you will ...
Oct 29, 2024•35 min•Ep. 367
Is feeling emotion within yourself something you welcome or try to avoid? What about when emotion is expressed by your partner, do you experience that as a sign of something bad starting up or as an invitation to listen? Emotion is at the root of relationships, it is what makes it satisfying and fulfilling as well as the starting point of conflicts. So what is the role of emotion and does it have a real place in a relationship? In this episode you will hear the answer to this question as well as...
Oct 22, 2024•40 min•Ep. 366
In marriage, unresolved hurts can pile up over time, creating distance and eroding trust. That's why forgiveness is one of the most crucial (yet challenging) elements to maintaining a healthy, connected relationship. But what does true forgiveness actually look like? And what blocks it from happening? In this episode, we dive into the depths of forgiveness: what it is and what it isn't, why it's essential for moving forward, and how it affects your closeness as a couple. We'll also explore real-...
Oct 15, 2024•29 min•Ep. 365
Does it ever feel like you and your partner have different goals or even that your needs are conflicting with one another? This can be obvious when one partner is saying they need more quality time and the other is saying they need more time for themselves. But there is another conflicting goal that men and women have that is hard to detect. In this episode you will hear what this conflicting goal is, that you would likely never guess. From all the sessions we do, as well as having hosted our Co...
Oct 09, 2024•25 min•Ep. 364
One of the most common questions we get is "how do we create more emotional connection" with each other. The most popular question is about repair, but this is in second place! This is a great question because there isn't a single answer because it often depends on the season a couple is in and what the most meaningful needs are for each partner in that given season. Nevertheless, the constant creation of emotional connection is one of the single most important elements for having high satisfact...
Oct 01, 2024•35 min•Ep. 363
It's important for all of us to admit that we have defensive mechanisms and that we do get defensive with our partners at times. Let's allow ourselves some grace here. Many of you would probably relate to getting even more defensive about getting defensive! It is common to go on the offensive through deflection or blame, which can leave another feeling that their experience is being invalidated. However that does not mean that someone is being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a much more serious patte...
Sep 24, 2024•34 min•Ep. 362
Today we explore the turning points where marriages either survive or fall apart, when they hit that "make it for break it" decision point. We've seen five couples end their relationships recently, one even filing papers yesterday, yet none of them reached out for support from us. Given marriage is what we do, it came as a shock to us when we heard the news. We know many people have this expereince when they hear about friends ending their relationships. So we want to give you the reasons why co...
Sep 17, 2024•47 min•Ep. 361
How would you rate the amount of stress in your life right now? We all know that some stress is good stress and that it's a part of life. Its commonly known that stress plays a major role in physical, mental, and emotional well-being of all of us individually. It's less known (or at least discussed) how much stress decreases marriage satisfaction and quality! In today's episode you will learn everything you ever wanted to know about the effects of stress on your marriage. After listening to this...
Sep 10, 2024•44 min•Ep. 360
When there is tension or an upset in your marriage, it's easy to point the finger at your partner as the source of the discomfort. But this often leads to further conflict. It also does not address this critical aspect of being in a marriage for a long time… that growth is a part of it! The common question for those that see these events as places to grow is "well, is this a me thing, a you thing, or a we thing"! Today's episode is more motivational (and aspirational) about growth in your relati...
Sep 04, 2024•34 min•Ep. 359
Last week's episode focused on husbands was a huge hit, so this week we're focusing on what inner-challenge wives are struggling with and how it's affecting marriages. In this episode, we dive into the pressure many wives feel to constantly do more, grow more, and be more—often at the expense of their own well-being. This relentless pursuit can lead to burnout, resentment, and a disconnect in marriages. We'll explore why it's crucial to recognize these patterns, how they impact your relationship...
Aug 27, 2024•36 min•Ep. 358
Men are facing an inner-challenge that is also affecting the marriage. For men to feel a sense of meaning, empowerment, responsibility, value, and achievement they have to show up in the eternal world a certain way. Whether this be in business, profession, managing finances or contracts for the family, relationships with family/friends; men are supposed to show up as warriors, lions, unstoppable, and unshakeable in their pursuits… But at home that same mentality causes issues and conflicts. Men ...
Aug 20, 2024•33 min•Ep. 357
Are you able to have a disagreement with your partner without fighting against each other? To be honest many couples view having a disagreement as a fight, because anytime they disagree and there is a little bit of emotion, it always turns into a fight. We are here to tell you that you can disagree while staying on the same team and moving down the decision making path together to find the best route for both of you and your future. In this episode you will hear 6 different tools/skills to imple...
Aug 13, 2024•30 min•Ep. 356
