This is the second half of that age old question "what do men want" in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other's needs then it's quite important to know what those needs are. This episode is the followup from last week about women's needs right now. With the amount of coaching sessions we do, we have a great insight into the common needs that are going unmet for couples. There are themes that seem to show up in general, so even the specific needs we ...
Aug 06, 2024•35 min•Ep. 355
It's the age old question "what do women want" in a marriage? If having a successful marriage is directly related to meeting each other's needs then it's quite important to know what those needs are. This episode will be a two part series that will follow up with exploring the needs that men have as well (so don't feel left out guys)! With the amount of coaching sessions we do, we have a great insight into the common needs that are going unmet for couples. There are themes that seem to show up i...
Jul 30, 2024•22 min•Ep. 354
The success of your life and marriage isn't as much about the things that happen to you, but how well you can course-correct. This goes for bigger life decisions about where to live, send your kids to school, and where to spend money. As well as the amount of time to pass before initiating repair after a conflict, the attitude you wake up with, and even the thoughts you let your mind focus on. So then what does "course-correcting" actually look like in regard to these decisions? That is exactly ...
Jul 23, 2024•19 min•Ep. 353
Whether you've been in a funk as a couple, or things have just felt pretty routine with your "adulting" responsibilities, this episode will help you SPARK more fun together! The truth is, life is short. And we don't believe we're meant to just let the weeks pass by and survive our busy schedule. Of course there are challenging days (and you hear us talk about that), but let's enter into a season of more fulfillment, connection, and play together. You will hear 5 very tangible and actionable ways...
Jul 16, 2024•28 min•Ep. 352
Talk about things before they become a bigger issue. On our vacation with family, I brought up the topic of intimacy (physical specifically) and it sparked a great conversation between us. Now for many this could be a conversation that isn't brought up and turns into a bigger issue later. This is when it can turn into a "weed" that impacts your marriage. Or it could be a conversation that causes defensiveness and conflict. Neither of these are positive options. You see, we want to talk about how...
Jul 09, 2024•25 min•Ep. 351
You've likely heard of the now popular Attachment Theory about having a secure, safe, trusting, and connected relationship. If you have, likely what you've seen is quite conceptual and you are not sure how to use the information. If you have not heard of this theory it simply describes how you connect and bond with a partner and how that was influenced by your parents (or primary caregiver) as well as other romantic relationships you have been in (primary attachment figures). For us Attachment T...
Jul 02, 2024•48 min•Ep. 350
Many communications between couples can cause misunderstandings. This leads to more expectations and further frustrations and upsets. Then these upsets can turn into conflicts. Though it seems simple to just "listen better", listening is not the same as hearing. Listening is the requirement for understanding, but even then, it does not guarantee complete and accurate understanding of what was actually meant by your partner. Though much of this has to do with the listener's role, there is also mu...
Jun 25, 2024•26 min•Ep. 349
"I'm sorry" - 2 little words that can not only be challenging for some partners to say, but also can mean MANY different things. So in today's episode we cover: Several specific reasons apologizing can be harder for some (self-awareness) Why couples can battle over whether the 'I'm sorry' is deemed "necessary" The different meanings of "I'm sorry" and how to expand your language for more things to say in these moments How to get better at apologizing, big or small We encourage BOTH of you to lis...
Jun 18, 2024•28 min•Ep. 348
"How do I get my partner to _____?" This is one of the most common questions we get. Obviously this is referring to wanting a partner to change a behavior in a certain area of the relationship. Underneath that question is the real question of "what is going to motivate my partner?" If you have ever had this experience of wanting your partner to change something, but they didn't, you likely felt discouraged or even burnt out. This was likely because you have been asking for things to change for s...
Jun 11, 2024•35 min•Ep. 347
We said to several couples last week: "The ultimate sign of a secure marriage is knowing that even if one of you says something at the wrong time, in the wrong way, or with the wrong tone, the other person will be responsible for their reaction." And this is the ultimate goal for so many couples. So dive in today as we cover: The 4 D's that derail conversations and destroy your connection 3 strategies for being responsible for your reactions Further understanding of the brain so you don't act fr...
Jun 04, 2024•24 min•Ep. 346
Do you know what you need in your relationship? Whether you do or not right in this moment, knowing what you need is certainly a requirement for being able to communicate and act to fulfill it. This is the basis for having a satisfying relationship. In this episode we go deeper into explaining our process for effectively communicating your needs and what being assertive really means. But you will also have a new perspective on whether you really know what you need or not. It is not as simple as ...
May 29, 2024•24 min•Ep. 345
Can you count on each other completely? Not with just the BIG things, but also with the small daily things in your life? Building and living a great life with each other is only possible if you can count on, TRUST, each other. When you see the word "trust" it's easy to think of big things around feeling physically safe or being truthful in what you say. But this conversation gets way more into your day-to-day experiences that either lead to doubting each other and losing trust or increasing the ...
May 21, 2024•41 min•Ep. 344
Which of these 7 stages of marriage are you two in right now? Knowing this not only gives you perspective about navigating your current season, but also what's ahead of you in the bigger picture of being married for many years. It is unrealistic to think that every season of marriage should be the same, or will be in the same order as another couple's. But also, we should be able to navigate some of the harder stages more quickly so they don't last too long or rob us of joy and fulfillment in li...
May 14, 2024•37 min•Ep. 343
We all want some degree of change in our lives, and our relationships. So long as they are the changes we want! Change can be difficult if it brings about a lot of unknown, or if the change you desire requires your partner to change some of their behavior. But what is it that creates change and how do you get the results that you really want? In this episode we outline the drives and motivations behind creating change and the one foundational element that you must be able to identify if any real...
May 07, 2024•31 min•Ep. 342
Building connection (and closeness) with your partner is fundamental to having a happy and satisfying relationship. Yet it's the first thing that takes a back seat when you are busy, stressed, or just in the routine of your life. Yes, maintaining connection takes effort. If you thought you could be in a marriage without effort, someone needs to inform your partner! But it doesn't need to be extravagant or just be when you have time for date nights. In this episode you will hear 3 ways to build a...
Apr 30, 2024•20 min•Ep. 341
The last 2 years could have torn us apart and made us turn against each other. It felt like life was throwing everything at us at once, all while we had a newborn baby. In this episode, you'll hear: Our personal journey of what trials we faced over the last 2 years How exactly we triumphed after these challenges and got stronger than EVER What social psychology says about overcoming stressors and adversity 4 areas of wisdom to guide you through anything you face as a couple As you listen, make s...
Apr 23, 2024•35 min•Ep. 340
Who's to blame for your frustrating problems and patterns in your relationship? It's obviously your partner, right... they're the problem. No… blaming them doesn't get you anywhere, in fact it makes things worse and more difficult to get out of. If there's one thing that is inarguable in social psychology it's that relationships are bi-directional.Meaning, your attitude, actions, and choices affect your partner's attitude, actions, and choices, and vice versa. Unfortunately many couples stay stu...
Apr 16, 2024•27 min•Ep. 339
There are disagreements in your relationship, and then there are Power Struggles! These power struggles are more detrimental and have deeper rooted contributing factors. They keep you from being the best team possible and being able to come up with mutually beneficial solutions for your family. In today's episode we dive into: How to define a power struggle The goal of interdependence, rather than co-dependence or independence Contributing factors to being in a power struggle Communication skill...
Apr 09, 2024•32 min•Ep. 338
Your family is a source of support, love, and acceptance. Now there are certainly times that our perception of actions from family members make us forget those underlying intentions. Of course this can be even more true when you are interacting (or dealing with) your partner's family members (your in-laws)! There is always the grand idea that two sides of a family can come together and just magnify the sense of community, family, and support, but that doesn't always happen. It can be common that...
Apr 02, 2024•30 min•Ep. 337
The basis of a strong marriage is how well you handle 3 "stages" of interactions. These 3 stages are before, during and after conflicts. The before stage is all about communication and being able to prevent conflicts from even happening. The during conflict stage is about de-escalating tensions and potential conflicts. The after stage is about how you repair when conflicts to happen (because they will) In this episode you will hear the tools you will need to master each of the 3 stages and putti...
Mar 26, 2024•27 min•Ep. 336
Emotional Intelligence (or lack thereof) can truthfully be a make it or break it factor for a marriage. It's a big part of what helps you be connected, navigate hardship and disagreements, and embrace your differences. It's also what can cause feelings of "walking on egg-shells" or be what escalates simple miscommunications into big conflicts. Yet nowadays this term can be used too conceptually, and you know we are all about making things useful and practical! In this episode you'll hear: 6 keys...
Mar 19, 2024•25 min•Ep. 335
You can't build a strong marriage on a weak foundation. But do you know what the ingredients for a rock-solid foundation are? Well don't worry, we're covering that today and we're certain this will open up some great conversations for you two. In this episode you'll hear: The 5 foundations to a strong marriage Specific examples so that you can have these conversations with your partner How these can help guide you when you disagree and/or encounter hard moments Also, make sure you utilize our re...
Mar 12, 2024•36 min•Ep. 334
You don't often "think about your own psychology", life is just happening and you are responding. So when it comes to interactions with your partner, it's easy to defend yourself when your perspective is brought into question. The cycle continues when you go back and forth about who remembers events more accurately. Your perception and memory are all a part of your psychology. These are actually very complex cognitive functions that can easily make errors and include bias you are not even aware ...
Mar 05, 2024•26 min•Ep. 333
From the thousands of coaching sessions, DMs, and emails that we receive, we tend to see themes come up in marriage. You would be surprised to learn how common certain topics are for couples, that all seem to come up in the same weeks and months. We are not here to hypothesize about why that is, but just make these themes known. This is the highly anticipated followup episode from last week's on mistakes men are making. Lately we have been noticing themes around Women and mistakes they are makin...
Feb 27, 2024•19 min•Ep. 332
From the thousands of coaching sessions, DMs, and emails that we receive, we tend to see themes come up in marriage. You would be surprised to learn how common certain topics are for couples, that all seem to come up in the same weeks and months. We are not here to hypothesize about why that is, but just make these themes known. Lately we have been noticing themes around men and mistakes they are making in marriage. These are not character flaws but just patterns of behavior that we see adding t...
Feb 20, 2024•17 min•Ep. 331
The scenario is that your partner makes a comment, you sense they are a little irritated. They may very well have a frustration but have expressed it with a mild (level 2) upset. Yet you are not in a conflict or argument. But as you talk back and forth, you start giving explanations and justifications and an early onset of defensiveness starts to create a divide. This is a critical moment where you could even say to each other "this doesn't have to become a thing …" Often these moments are not h...
Feb 13, 2024•31 min•Ep. 330
What is the bare minimum to expect in a marriage? You likely read that question and think about your expectations about your partner… However this is actually about what to expect from yourself! There are a lot of social media comments on relationship posts that judge the portrayal of a partner. That shows that most people think about what changes a partner needs to make in order to better meet one's own needs. But that is quite backward. In this episode you will hear 6 traits that are the bare ...
Feb 07, 2024•16 min•Ep. 329
You have heard about the "7 Year Itch" in a marriage. Though that was the name of a Marilyn Monroe movie in 1955, studies have shown that a couples satisfaction in marriage hits a low around 10 years into a marriage. Whether you've been together 2 years, 10 years, or 30+ years, you'll get a lot out of this episode by understanding what couples lose sight of and causes an increase of dissatisfaction. We dive into: What the studies say about the "peak of dissatisfaction" being around year 10 toget...
Jan 30, 2024•31 min•Ep. 328
Are attachment styles fixed? This is the essence of all the questions and messages we received after last week's episode on attachment style, behaviors, and needs. This required a Part 2 episode this week where you will hear how to overcome your avoidant or anxious style pasts and tendencies. Not only is attachment style not fixed, it's a range, and can be very situational. You may have created a secure relationship experience for both of you, but circumstances and your environment can have you ...
Jan 23, 2024•33 min•Ep. 327
Attachment is a key term and principle for relationships and refers to the way in which you bond and connect with your partner. The theory of Attachment Style has become much more popular in recent years from its conception by John Bowlby in 1969. Though many are familiar with the Secure and Insecure categorizations and the insecure types of avoidant, anxious, and fearful; people are not so familiar with the attachment needs and behaviors that are as critical. All of this as a theory can feel ve...
Jan 16, 2024•30 min•Ep. 326
