What is Love in a very practical sense? We hear people say "we fell in love" or "we fell out of love"... so what is causing this experience of love? Or why do couples start to feel more like roommates? As the years pass, it can be easier to fall into what is called "empty love" or "friendship love" and miss the 3rd element of love that we all crave. So dive into today's episode where you'll hear: The 3 components of love Variations of relationships that have one or 2 components but are missing t...
Jan 09, 2024•36 min•Ep. 325
The one thing that the beginning of a year allows you to do is draw a clear line in the sand. It's a psychological distinction to review your last 12 months and see how well you executed on your game plan. Some do this for work, for individual achievements, as sports teams, and it is very powerful to do for your marriage. In this episode you will hear how to go through a Yearly Check-in to start off your new year. This will allow you to reestablish your core values, set your vision and goals, an...
Jan 03, 2024•31 min•Ep. 324
Parenting definitely shifts priorities, but that shouldn't mean we de-prioritize our marriage, right? This week was our daughter's 2nd birthday and we were reflecting on our own parenting journey up until this point. We know from many couples that parenting really does shift many things in a marriage, even studies have shown that satisfaction goes down in the first 5 years of becoming parents. Though there are so many great positives that also come with being a parent, in this episode you will h...
Dec 27, 2023•30 min•Ep. 323
If you have listened to the podcast at all you probably have thought "Yes, I get the importance of validating my partner but HOW exactly do I do that?" Even if this is your first time listening you likely have the same question about how to have your partner feel validated in their experience especially when you do not agree with their feelings or details of an event! Validating a partner is a difficult thing to do because you will not always see (or experience) events the same way. You also mig...
Dec 19, 2023•22 min•Ep. 322
All Work & No Play Makes For A Dull Marriage. If you're like most of the couples we talk to, you've been working at overcoming patterns and challenges that have kept you stuck and in frustrating cycles. Many couples even say, "I'm so exhausted" or "When do we get back to more fun times?" If you have ever seen the movie Moneyball, it's just clicking in a few key aspects so that you can get on a winning streak! In this episode you will hear a brief answer for why you might feel like you're on ...
Dec 12, 2023•25 min•Ep. 321
We were not going to leave the men out from last week's episode about what women need in a marriage. This episode is about what men need that is often overshadowed and not expressed. Just so you know, the answer is not going to be sex… we have our own issue with accounts that tote sex as men's only need in a marriage (but you will hear that in the episode)! In this episode you will hear about the need of Harmony and how that is a key need for men, even if they would not have said it that way. Yo...
Dec 05, 2023•25 min•Ep. 320
In this insightful podcast episode, dive into the heart of successful marriages and discover a nuanced perspective on meeting the emotional needs of women, a crucial but often overlooked aspect. Women generally prioritize people and nurturing, while men care more about things and problem-solving. This difference poses a challenge to men in grasping the seemingly ever-changing emotional needs of their partners and introduces a vital skill: Emotional Attunement. You will hear a vivid contrast betw...
Nov 28, 2023•26 min•Ep. 319
If you plan to be married for a long time, you need to work through hard seasons, course-correct, and commit to make changes. These are the times that you need to take steps to rebuild the marriage and start a chapter. This is PART 2 of the "Steps to Rebuild a Marriage" episode #312 as we got so many messages about this topic. In this episode we will briefly remind you of the steps to rebuild, which we have shortened from 8 to 6. Then we will dive further into 4 ways that you can easily get off ...
Nov 20, 2023•23 min•Ep. 318
Meeting each other's needs is the basis for a great relationship. This can get complex especially when it comes to the need of intimacy in a marriage, a fundamental need that often takes different forms for men and women. While some men seek physical intimacy to feel connected, their female partners emphasize the need for emotional intimacy. In this episode you will hear the significance of first establishing emotional safety (in its various forms) before either type of intimacy can be created. ...
Nov 14, 2023•36 min•Ep. 317
It's not that difficult to show up as a great partner when everything is going smoothly in your life. Being an exceptional partner has much to do with how you show up in the face of challenges and things not going how you planned. In this episode you will hear 5 ways to be an exceptional partner that will be demonstrated through aligning your words and actions, being responsible for the attitude you bring to the environment, how you show up in support, focusing on the satisfaction of your partne...
Nov 07, 2023•27 min•Ep. 316
Disconnection and dissatisfaction can often stem from a power struggle for leadership, especially if it's been absent. This episode highlights the unique marriage challenges in contemporary relationships, where misconceptions about domination and disengagement can create more conflicts. Leadership within a marriage is not about control but influence and the initiative to guide. This episode explores essential leadership values including a just cause, trust within the team, accountability, collab...
Oct 31, 2023•31 min•Ep. 315
In this thought-provoking episode, you'll explore the intriguing concept of "crucible moments" and where you have already experienced them in your own relationship. These pivotal junctures, situations, or decision points test the strength of your bond and commitment, with choices leading to breakthroughs or declines in your relationship. You'll hear real-life examples, from navigating the newborn stage to handling heated arguments or even a big financial loss. This episode encourages you to make...
Oct 25, 2023•25 min•Ep. 314
In this podcast episode, the fifth step in rebuilding a marriage takes center stage – expressing and agreeing to non-negotiables. Overall this is a crucial step for building trust and granting forgiveness. You will hear 4 non-negotiables that we feel are paramount to a strong and lasting marriage. Those steps are individual responsibility, emotional intelligence, open communication, and developing the traits of flexibility and resilience. You will discover how these keys lead to a stronger, more...
Oct 17, 2023•29 min•Ep. 313
Are you facing a difficult season in your marriage, feeling weighed down, worn out, or dissatisfied by challenges and conflicts? This type of season is not uncommon for marriages. Though it seems complex and ominous to tackle, there are specific patterns that have brought you both to this place. In this episode you'll explore the process of revitalizing a marriage mired in challenges, resentment, and conflicts and provides you with crucial steps to navigate this journey. You'll learn the importa...
Oct 10, 2023•37 min•Ep. 312
In this episode, you'll explore the critical role of agreements during times of conflicts in your own marriage. Just like any game, your marriage really only works on the adherence to certain rules or guidelines, then everyone can have fun playing the game! While your marriage involves various agreements for different aspects of life, the most vital ones are those designed for navigating conflicts. These agreements, treated as laws, encompass actions for you to take or avoid when emotions run hi...
Oct 03, 2023•24 min•Ep. 311
What truly determines the health and success of a romantic relationship? While popular resources online suggest differences in personality traits, attachment styles, past traumas, or external stressors as contributing factors, the episode sheds light on a more precise concept – "relationship stability." Psychologists have coined this term to better measure long-term success in relationships, ultimately linked to the duration of the partnership along with a sense of fulfillment, not driven by obl...
Sep 26, 2023•23 min•Ep. 310
In this heartfelt podcast episode, you'll explore the crucial difference between falling in love and staying in love. The hosts share insightful points on making your partner feel seen, appreciated, adored, respected, and accepted over time. They also emphasize the importance of navigating the natural ebbs and flows of intimacy, remaining receptive to each other's needs, course-correcting when necessary, and investing the effort required for enduring love. This episode provides you with a roadma...
Sep 19, 2023•18 min•Ep. 309
We know this can be a hard conversation, but it's critical in order to protect our children from the very real threats and predators. You might think that trafficking is something that is distant or would not affect your area or town. But as you'll learn from today's guest, Rosalia Rivera , the abuse and trafficking of children occurs mostly in plain sight, in areas near and around you. But this episode is not to put you in fear; in fact, it's to empower you to have specific ACTIONS to take, whe...
Sep 05, 2023•48 min•Ep. 308
After you dive into the episode, be sure to sign-up for the 30-Day Couples Challenge starting Sept 1st! This is the best step to consistently add to your love account levels and be more connected on a daily basis. Of course not all relationships are the same because of the personality dynamics that are unique to the two of you and also the specific events or challenges that you face in your marriage. This is where the episode really makes a claim; that you will face challenges in your life and m...
Aug 30, 2023•21 min•Ep. 307
Becoming a mother is a transformative and in some ways challenging journey. Everyone focuses on the actions of being a parent and not enough on the identity shifts and emotional journey that it really is. Today's guest expert, Dr Morgan Cutlip, wrote the book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself. In today's interview with her, you'll hear: Why "balance" is bologna and what to seek instead The core inner conflicts a mom faces, and likely doesn't expect The impossible standards we set for ourse...
Aug 24, 2023•49 min•Ep. 306
Picture this: you and your partner on vacation at your favorite spot, yet you haven't exchanged a word in three days. The silent tension, the "stand-off," can feel like it's tearing your relationship apart, whether it's a recurring pattern or a prolonged icy silence. But fear not, because in this episode, we dive into the fascinating realm of how our minds can play tricks on us, especially in the heat of a relationship blow-up. Discover the cognitive twists and turns that can lead to misundersta...
Aug 22, 2023•23 min•Ep. 305
Proactive communication allows you to have more harmony, ease, and unity in your relationship. But what does that really mean, is it just speaking your mind more often? We all know that "our partner can't read our mind," but how many of us try to just survive the chaos of life without communicating enough with our partner? Or worse, communicate "reactively" once there's already tension, frustration, and miscommunications. Today's episode gives you 3 helpful steps to focus on more proactive commu...
Aug 15, 2023•26 min•Ep. 304
Join us in this episode as we dive deep into the intricate ways your upbringing shapes your approach to 4 crucial dynamics of your marriage. You will hear the subtle yet profound influences of your past on how you navigate these dynamics with your partner. We all recognize the power of our formative experiences, from childhood to early romance, and their lasting effects on us, but what can you really do about it, right? We'll explore how your emotional regulation, sense of responsibility, recept...
Aug 08, 2023•26 min•Ep. 303
Having good friendships is critical to your fulfillment in life and plays a big role in your marriage as well. However, not all of your friends will tell you the hard truth and some of the things that you really need to hear if you are to get out of a hard season in your relationship. It's also unlikely that your friends are relationship coaches so there is a key piece of advice that you will not hear from any of them, that you really need to hear. This episode is all about how you need to stop ...
Aug 03, 2023•16 min•Ep. 302
We went on an impromptu staycation this weekend… just us! And we used some of our time (besides playing, flirting, and relaxing) to have some meaningful conversations. We like to call them "check-ins." This one in particular happened to be getting on the same page about our life and marriage priorities for the rest of the year. Do you and your partner feel on the same page about what your priorities are? If you don't take some time a few times per year, you can just be going about the motions ex...
Aug 01, 2023•20 min•Ep. 301
This highly anticipated episode is finally here! Today we dive into underlying frustrations and areas of dissatisfaction for men that we want to be mindful of in our relationship. Remember, these aren't to blame one person. We both can participate in meeting each other's needs, preventing frustrations, and talking through the patterns that are interconnected. After you dive into the episode, be sure to sign-up for the 30-Day Couples Challenge starting August 1st!...
Jul 25, 2023•27 min•Ep. 300
Getting married and choosing to do life with someone means that you're also saying, "I am going to care about your needs, I am going to care about whether you're satisfied or not, and I am going to do my best to meet the standards we've set for a partnership." When this stops happening for various reasons, then the fulfillment and satisfaction for that partner can start to go down. So today's episode is really about boosting satisfaction in the partnership by understanding the top sources of dis...
Jul 19, 2023•30 min•Ep. 299
All great teams "huddle" often, whether a sports team or a professional team. But how often do you guys check-in? Today's episode covers how to have a weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-in. This is a major update to our process we shared in 2021, which was a SUPER popular episode. You'll hear the 5 questions to ask each other every week, what to discuss about your relationship every quarter of the year, and big picture topics to stay on track on a yearly basis. We promise, these can be accompli...
Jul 09, 2023•30 min•Ep. 298
Life will always have challenges and we believe it's about how you respond to them as well as how well you learn and grow. This is a huge aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship, how you handle challenges as a team. Hopefully you know that we are not here to sugar coat anything or give you any advice that is not practical or useful in your daily marriage. So in this episode we share updates from the last 18 months as it was the hardest season we have had as a couple. It is our intent to sha...
Jul 03, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 297
In this episode we unravel the crucial distinction between repair, finding a solution, and resolution in relationships. Repairing conflicts, rather than simply reducing the frequency of them, is a powerful indicator of a healthy and lasting partnership. You will hear the misconception that finding a solution automatically leads to resolution, and why the emotional aspect of repair is equally vital. By understanding the formula of Repair + Solution = Resolution, we provide you with the tools to n...
Jun 27, 2023•20 min•Ep. 296
