We all know that relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to expressing our needs. Ever found yourself in a situation where you're feeling frustrated but can't quite put your finger on why? You're not alone. In this episode, we dive into the importance of identifying and expressing your needs within a romantic partnership. We'll explore why simply venting your frustrations isn't enough and how it can lead to misunderstandings and communication breakdowns. By learning to articul...
Jun 20, 2023•30 min•Ep. 295
In this episode we tackle a common challenge in relationships: expressing strong emotions to our partners without considering the present mood. We've all been there, feeling the urge to let it all out, only to realize it may not be the best time or could escalate tensions further. That's why we're here to guide you through the art of discerning the mood before speaking up. By understanding the momentum and direction of the interaction, you can make informed choices that either diffuse the energy...
Jun 13, 2023•16 min•Ep. 294
As parents, we know that feeling of guilt from knowing that our kiddos saw or heard the argument. But instead of guilty, we want you to become motivated to focus on the 3 keys in this episode. Make sure they see you: DE-ESCALATE the rising emotion and conflict Implement a constructive pause, and not a rupture Fully REPAIR after an argument For more detail on these principles, get our 2 popular guides: De-Escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions guide here: Making Up & Moving Forward gu...
Jun 06, 2023•19 min•Ep. 293
The 30-Day Couples Challenge starts THIS week, so sign up here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/ In this episode, we dive into the subtle ways that effort can dwindle once we've achieved our goals. Think about athletes reaching their peak or accomplishing a major milestone in your personal life—there's a loss of that initial hunger and drive. The same can happen in your marriage, but it's trickier because there isn't a clear finish line or "scoreboard" to tell us how well we're doing. By listenin...
May 30, 2023•28 min•Ep. 292
You know that conflicts will happen in a marriage, this truth should not be resisted or avoided. However what if that same conflict comes up again and what if that turns into a pattern that shows up over and over again? This is what creates a hard season in marriage. But if this goes on for multiple weeks, months, or even years then you feel as if nothing is going to change and you lose hope in the marriage. Some people see ending the marriage as the only option, because honestly who would want ...
May 23, 2023•26 min•Ep. 291
The obvious statement is that men and women differ in how they emotionally connect. But the actions one can take to close the gap between how men and women connect is not as practical. Couples get stuck in the trap of "I just don't connect the same way as my partner". In this episode you are going to hear 3 different ways that men feel emotionally connected and 3 different ways for women. No matter how different you think you and your partner are in this area of connection, you can use one of th...
May 17, 2023•20 min•Ep. 290
Do you ever wish that you were back in that infamous "honeymoon" stage of your marriage? Believe us we understdand why we hear this from couples. You want to be in that feeling of newness, optimism, passion, and infinite possibilites with a true partner at your side. There is something to honor about this stage but the reality is that this is not just a short window of time that you cannot get back. It's just that you were doing a bunch of things unconsciously that were leading to this feeling o...
May 09, 2023•14 min•Ep. 289
Do you ever feel that your partner just doesn't understand and that they just don't empathize with what you are feeling? This is a big topic for many couples. A key element of a great relationship is that you can be going through a difficult time (even if caused by your partner) and you have a partner that can be comforting and compassionate to be on your side as you go through it. In this episode you will hear the difference between empathy and sympathy so that you can better understand which y...
May 02, 2023•25 min•Ep. 288
You can feel so taken off guard and frustrated when a seemingly simple conversation with your partner escalates into a conflict. When this happens both of you tend to say or do things that do more damage to the other. This is even more irritating because it could have been easily avoided in your mind. This is exactly the point of this episode, the mistakes that escalate conversations into conflicts. In this episode you will hear 3 mistakes so that you can better recognize them and take a more co...
Apr 25, 2023•15 min•Ep. 287
At first you might not think that you feel any jealousy in your marriage. But jealousy is simply the feeling of unhappiness or anger because someone has something you want. Yet there are others that might feel this emotion more prevalently. In this episode you will understand more about jealousy and where it can come from. Then you will have 5 steps to take to overcome this feeling in collaboration with your partner. Resources For Your Relationship: 1) NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to r...
Apr 19, 2023•27 min•Ep. 286
Understanding the concepts of inner child and shadow patterns is crucial for a healthy marriage. We are not going to sugarcoat this either, it's one of the most difficult yet necessary things to do. In this podcast, you will explore how these two aspects can impact your behavior and dynamic in your relationship. Then you will learn practical strategies for working with these deep rooted patterns, you'll gain valuable tools for integrating these parts of yourself, promoting greater self awareness...
Apr 11, 2023•27 min•Ep. 285
By now you know that repairing after your conflicts with your partner is one of the most critical aspects for a marriage. It might even be the most critical. If you do not repair, you just create more problems later on and you drive an emotional wedge between you. Repair is not an easy thing to do for two reasons that you will hear in this episode. One of these reasons is the whole purpose of this episode… you do not identify the real root cause of the conflict. Most people just try and move on,...
Apr 04, 2023•17 min•Ep. 284
Is it just random and based on your inherent personality traits whether you are a great spouse and partner? What if it wasn't so much about your personality traits anyway, as it was other character traits that you could develop along the way? That would feel encouraging and empowering to us, and it should to you as well! To us it doesn't matter as much about the personality traits that you come into a relationship with. The fact is everyone is different and that makes every relationship unique i...
Mar 28, 2023•24 min•Ep. 283
We don't do this often so make sure you attend our FREE LIVE WebClass on March 30th, 2023: Why Are We Arguing Again? a weblcass to identify the real root causes of conflict so you can ultimately resolve them When a challenge comes up in your life or you have a conflict with your partner, do you shrink down to your default responses or rise to the occasion? When you face situations that call for you to change a pattern of behavior or adjust your willingness to have the hard but necessary conversa...
Mar 21, 2023•24 min•Ep. 282
Red flags in regards to relationships are warning signs. But often these warning signs are spoken about as a reflection into the past as a reason to have gotten out of the relationship earlier. Though this is a fine practice if you are dating or even engaged, when it comes to a committed marriage, these red flags signify something different. These red flags are not reasons for you to leave the marriage at all, these are signs you want to be on the lookout for throughout your years together to he...
Mar 14, 2023•38 min•Ep. 281
At this point you know that arguments are going to happen. It's not the right goal to try and not have them. It's all about the repair. Now a big problem that you have likely experienced yourself is that when you try and come back to the conversation, it just escalates and you relive the whole argument. Now you are probably even more angry and frustrated with each other. So in this episode we take you through an argument we just had 3 days ago while we were at the airport coming back from a trip...
Mar 07, 2023•23 min•Ep. 280
In a marriage is it right to have expectations or does that just set you up for failure? If the answer is no, is it even the right goal to not have any expectations at all? When it comes down to your practical day to day life with your partner, the fact is you will have expectations, this cannot be avoided. Expectations are also the root cause of all your upsets. So what to do? In this episode you will hear about the expectations that are unfair and unrealistic to have because they will cause th...
Feb 28, 2023•28 min•Ep. 279
Love can feel simple and effortless in the beginning stages of a relationship, but it's not always easy to maintain that feeling over time. In this episode, we explore the 5 essential parts of love in a marriage that can help couples maintain and even grow their love for each other. We discuss how each part of love plays a crucial role in building a strong and mature relationship, and why neglecting any one of these parts can lead to challenges and struggles. We dive into the importance of passi...
Feb 21, 2023•32 min•Ep. 278
As you now know from listening to this podcast, repairing conflicts is a critical skill to have a great relationship. BUT there is actually a key aspect of "conflict repair" that allows you to repair faster and more effectively. The opposite is actually just as true if not even more so. If you do not get this initial step correct, then it will lead to drawn out argument hangovers, leaving the conflict unresolved, and even resentment building up. In this episode you will hear about this one criti...
Feb 14, 2023•24 min•Ep. 277
Communication should seek to connect rather than disconnect. When you get to a place of one being right and one wrong then you are just creating the environment of disconnection. This isn't the feeling you really want in a relationship, and you certainly do not come up with the best ideas for action that best serve the relationship itself. In this episode, you will learn how to keep yourselves from getting caught in this common dynamic of feeling like one person is right and the other is wrong, ...
Feb 08, 2023•17 min•Ep. 276
Resources For Your Relationship: NEW REPAIR GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19. About the Episode: You will face obstacles and hardships in your life as a couple. These hardships will show up as external factors in your life whether with your adult children, behavior of young kids, how your in-laws treat you, getting let go f...
Jan 31, 2023•26 min•Ep. 275
What does it mean to be a truly great communicator in your relationship? There is the idea that this means you will dramatically reduce the amount of tensions or challenges that you face. Relatively speaking that might be true but that is not the ONE thing that couples have in common who are great at communicating! In this episode you will hear what this one thing is. The fact is that you will have tension and face challenges in your marriage, that is not going away all together. After this epis...
Jan 24, 2023•23 min•Ep. 274
This episode provides bold reminders for the women to make positive changes in the relationship. It's easy to find ourselves unconsciously acting in ways that aren't our best, which can deplete and diminish the love in the relationship. This episode provides you the "tough love" that your friends and family won't provide for you. We're all human and so we're not expecting you to be perfect, but instead to see how you can be even 10-20% better for your relationship. Tune in for 3 pieces of feedba...
Jan 17, 2023•24 min•Ep. 273
This episode is a strong invitation for the men to step up and be a leader of the relationship. Being a leader is about acknowledging where you can be a better person and a better partner. It's about looking at the patterns that you have that are not serving you or the relationship. Then go to work on transforming those patterns first before asking your partner to change their own patterns. In this episode you will hear 3 pieces of feedback that we have for the men that come from the coaching se...
Jan 10, 2023•21 min•Ep. 272
Forgiveness is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. It is usually spoken about as this thing that should be easy to do however. Mainly because it's accompanied by the statement "just let it go and move past it already!" But forgiveness isn't an easy thing to do and just moving on creates an environment for it to just pop up later. Or at the very least it creates an emotional wedge of disconnection with your partner. In this episode you will hear 4 steps you can take to be able to...
Jan 03, 2023•24 min•Ep. 271
When you get down to it, your life is not made up of big exciting events, it's actually all the tiny moments that make up the large majority of your life. That being said, are these moments fun, playful, connected, or intentional? Or do you fall trap to them being mundane, frustrating, disconnected, or checked out? In this episode you will hear 3 daily, weekly, and monthly habits to put in place so that your relationship can be successful by having all these small moments be meaningful. The smal...
Dec 27, 2022•25 min•Ep. 270
For those of you that are parents, did that make your marriage more difficult or bring you both together? This could be asked about any challenge that you face as a couple, but parenting is definitely unique, at least it has been for us! We polled parents and found that it often changed their marriage in some common ways: they felt they became roommates, it was hard to make time for each other, more conflicts around different parenting styles, feeling of losing their identity, and the division o...
Dec 20, 2022•37 min•Ep. 269
The end of the year is always a time for reflection. Typically this is about personal and professional events and how we would have liked them to go differently. This is also a prefect time to reflect on your relationship with your partner. We will all face challenges in life and it is the same in a marriage. Though every challenge is an opportunity, you will never see it if you do not take time to reflect and uncover what that is. In this episode you will hear our own reflections of this past y...
Dec 13, 2022•34 min•Ep. 268
It's likely that you have said one of these two things to your partner. "Why don't you just accept me for who I am" or "I really need you to change this _____". At some point in your relationship you will find yourselves getting more upset about things that your partner does, says, or ways they show up for you. Of course relationships are about supporting the needs of the other person but a big question arises at this junction… Where is the line of accepting my partner the way they are versus be...
Dec 06, 2022•34 min•Ep. 267
Nov 29, 2022•30 min•Ep. 266
