It can be a hard thing to admit to yourself, let alone your partner, that you are not feeling the desire for them. This can feel like a very significant, lonely, and discouraging place to be. It can even bring up a feeling of doubt about the relationship as you might think this is a feeling you cannot come back from. Because, what is there to really do as this is just what you feel right? In this episode you will hear the two central causes for this feeling as well as what to do depending on the...
Dec 15, 2020•30 min•Ep. 115
There is one particular area that we all are guilty of sitting back and waiting to happen. When this takes place in your relationship it can lead to discouragement and staying relatively in the same place for years. Listen in to this solo episode with Aaron to find out what this one thing is so you don't get caught in the waiting game for your relationship to become what it can be! Resources For Your Relationship: As mentioned in the episode you can access The Argument Hangover 90 minute trainin...
Dec 10, 2020•11 min•Ep. 114
How many times have you thought to yourself "should I bring this up to my partner now, or should I just keep it to myself?" It's almost a certainty that you have even more than once because all partners will ask themselves this question at one time or another. The biggest issue here is that if you bring it up it can cause an argument in which you both end up getting upset and can get into an Argument Hangover. On the other side if you don't say anything it can feel like you have to suppress your...
Dec 08, 2020•30 min•Ep. 113
I actually had several exes cheat on me. It might sound odd to say, but I'm grateful that it happened because of who I am today as a wife. There's a deeper gift that came from that experience, so dive in to this episode and send it to ANY friend that's been cheated on before. Resources For Your Relationship: Make sure to register for the ONE-TIME Couples Event/Training we're hosting December 9th. You get a copy of our newest book, The Argument Hangover + access to the 90 min training with conten...
Dec 03, 2020•23 min•Ep. 112
There usually isn't just one big event that ends a relationship. It's an 'eroding' slowly over time. It's the result of frequent behaviors like chronic defensiveness, small criticisms, and not prioritizing them. We are not even saying that you are necessarily at the place of ending the relationship, and we never want you to be. Hence why we are giving you the 5 behaviors that we see, that you might not notice, that will over time have you be in a place where you say "how did we get here?" About ...
Dec 01, 2020•31 min•Ep. 111
There are particular seasons within a relationship where you will ask yourself "is this the right relationship?". There is nothing wrong with this question at all. You might be trying to decide to propose to your partner, having a tough week or month, or even deciding to stay in the marriage. No matter the place you find yourself, the next real question is "how do I really determine this?" Most people default to their recent mood, attitude, or level of love or happiness now. But this is very con...
Nov 26, 2020•20 min•Ep. 110
If you haven't said this yourself, you've at least seen these "love" posts go around: "I accept all of you" or "there is nothing you could do for me to stop loving you"! While this is a great sentiment, the majority of people only know what half of this declaration really means. Of course this is a great intent to accept your partner, but there is one major area that, if you are not prepared for, will come as a huge disappointment and upset for you in the future. There are easier areas to accept...
Nov 24, 2020•29 min•Ep. 109
There's that feeling of trying to pull or "drag" your partner along when you want to grow and strengthen your own relationship. Here you are with good intentions to make certain areas of your relationship even better... but it's almost like you are doing it on your own or that you are literally forcing your partner to participate. This can feel so draining and frustrating when your positive intention is met with resistance, push back, or even resentment. Almost like trying to get a child to eat ...
Nov 19, 2020•25 min•Ep. 108
If you are in a relationship, you have been disappointed at some point. If you are a human being even, you have been disappointed at some point in your life. Any disappointment in a relationship comes from a certain expectation that you had of your partner to do something, act or be a certain way. So is it bad to have expectations in your relationship, is this just a path to an unhealthy relationship? Well not necessarily… you will ALWAYS have expectations while you are alive as a human being an...
Nov 17, 2020•34 min•Ep. 107
You have been in an argument before right? You have also had a food or alcohol hangover at some point in your life too right? Well, put these two together and you have the term for how you feel in that period of time after you have a fight with your partner until you reconnect together. You might feel resentful of them, low energy, angry, hurt, or even not wanting to be around them. Whatever the emotion, how long does this last? It can be hours, days, weeks, or even years. The goal in relationsh...
Nov 10, 2020•35 min•Ep. 106
"I said I'm sorry, can't we just move past this?" Is this a statement that you hear from your partner, or even one that you have said to them before? It most likely is and for some reason saying "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem to cut it to resolve a conflict all the way and reconnect you both. Any idea why this is or what you can say (or do) instead? Well that is exactly what we are going to cover this episode today, as "I'm sorry" on its own is just not enough. During this episode you will hear t...
Nov 03, 2020•41 min•Ep. 105
Would you be willing to sell your house in 24 hours, and move across the country in under 3 weeks? Well we are, and we did! Whether that is something that you even thought about or not, the point is about being able to make BOLD decisions together, even during uncertainty, that will ultimately benefit your life and relationship. Often there are many decisions that go into a BIG decision, and maybe you feel that you are good at coming up with ideas, but get stuck in taking that leap of faith. In ...
Oct 27, 2020•37 min•Ep. 104
Yes we know that when you see the word Gratitude or Appreciation you think "I've heard that a thousand times"! Yet giving and showing your partner appreciation is one of the secret ingredients to a truly happy and connected relationship, one that barely gets it's deserved air time. The reason being it's never taken far enough. Appreciation is actually an art to be given so that it has a real impact and it's just as important that you allow yourself to receive appreciation from your partner! In t...
Oct 20, 2020•42 min•Ep. 103
Your immediate reaction to this episode might be "yes my partner definitely has some adult temper tantrums". Which is probably true at times, so we will of course go more into how you can HELP and SUPPORT them, rather than avoiding or getting mad at them yourself. BUT if you were really being honest, you might see that you yourself have your own tantrums sometimes. These are places that you just don't know how else to express yourself or realize what it is you really want and need. Many of us do...
Oct 13, 2020•35 min•Ep. 102
Of course this seems like something that could never happen, but being honest, do you feel like you and your partner are just high functioning roommates? We are not talking about your actual college roommates, but at some point the experience of aliveness, passion, and being prioritized was overtaken by getting things done, having half conversations, and even disconnection. This is happening for a lot of couples in the season however, as even mentioned by Chris Rock this week on SNL (eluding to ...
Oct 06, 2020•30 min•Ep. 101
It's shocking and contradictory from what you've heard (or even believe), but LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. You might ask: enough for what exactly? It's not enough for love to last or deepen within your relationship. Ok, be at ease, love is certainly a requirement for a great relationship and marriage, but what you need for it to last and for you to be a truly empowered couple is learning and implementing relationship skills! In this 100th episode we explore this topic that we love and give you 3 reasons ...
Sep 29, 2020•28 min•Ep. 100
Hey friends, a special episode to give you straight-talk to get into action around your patterns, challenges, or pain points in your relationship. (Especially if you have already tried to have important conversations with you partner, and it doesn't go anywhere.) The Couples Workshop event is coming up LIVE on October 10th, but can be watched from your own home! Here is the website to read more and save your seats The promise of this workshop is that You Will Communicate Better & Resolve Con...
Sep 24, 2020•11 min•Ep. 99
So here you are having a conversation with your partner, then with the slightest hint of emotion arising, they shutdown. They might stop talking altogether or say "I'm not talking about this, move on" or even "get off my back". This could be because you are trying to have an important conversation with them or it can be out of the blue. Either way, when your partner shuts down, you feel isolated, left out in the cold, or controlled because they are dictating when certain topics can be talked abo...
Sep 22, 2020•24 min•Ep. 98
Ever have those times in your relationship where things are going great, and then BAM... something sabotages it. You might not have identified it as sabotage, but that's often what it is and it shows up as a pattern from your past! Sabotaging behaviors keep you and your partner from experiencing: more love, more joy, more connection, more intimacy and more fulfillment together. So yea, sabotage is no fun. In this episode, we dive into how emotional events from either your upbringing or past rela...
Sep 15, 2020•40 min•Ep. 97
Real talk....we had a 3 hour conversation this weekend about the possibility of ending our partnership. Not because we haven't been "happy" or that we don't love each other anymore... but because we haven't been living in our full potential as individuals or as a couple. We have high standards for what kind of partnership we're capable of and that's what we invite you into. So we shared openly and candidly with each other about our disappointments, frustrations, and doubts. We used our skills to...
Sep 08, 2020•42 min•Ep. 96
If you are like Aaron and had a loving upbringing with lots of support from your parents, that means you would be better set up for a strong relationship rather than if you were like Jocelyn and had your parents go through a divorce or tough upbringing right? NOPE! Did you ever think that whatever your past upbringing, it could be what is causing any hiccups in your current relationship? In this episode will hear each of our stories about how we grew up and how Aaron was limited in being able to...
Sep 01, 2020•37 min•Ep. 95
You can't get 'down' enough or have a bad enough attitude to positively influence your partner. You just can't; and we prove it to you today! This episode will light a fire in YOU, and shift a destructive belief you might have about how to truly influence your partner to change. Sure, you could get your partner to be "compliant" because of your bad attitude and they just want to succumb to make you happy or get you off their back. But that's not a recipe for lasting love and connection. Instead,...
Aug 25, 2020•29 min•Ep. 94
This is one of the truest quotes we've ever heard: "There isn't anything that anyone wants for any other reason than they believe that they will feel better in the having of it." So everything you do in life is all for this one reason-- to feel better! The problem is that this puts your experience of life based on things you don't have 100% control over. It gets even worse for your relationship if you rely on your partner's mood, energy, or actions to make you feel good. This puts pressure, stre...
Aug 18, 2020•37 min•Ep. 93
Listening is not a passive action! Listening is actually an intentional action. You might not recognize the difference between when you're listening from your EGO vs your HEART. In this podcast, we're going to break down the difference- how it sounds, how it feels to you, and how it feels to your partner. None of us were really taught how to LISTEN, which can leave your partner not feeling truly understood. Sure, you might have HEARD them, but did you TRULY listen. You'll find out how to know. T...
Aug 11, 2020•30 min•Ep. 92
Have you ever found yourself or your partner avoiding direct or clear communication, evading problems, fearing intimacy or competition, making excuses, blaming, playing the victim, feigning compliance with requests, being sarcastic, or hiding anger? All of these behaviors describe being passive aggressive! You might not have thought of this at first, but there are many couples that are experiencing this right now in their marriage. This topic even comes from patterns we saw in our couples group,...
Aug 04, 2020•36 min•Ep. 91
Do you find that you are physically together with your partner more than ever, yet still feeling disconnected? How could this be right? Well, connection isn't just about proximity. Connection also isn't something that you can just count on always being there. It takes attention and intention just like anything in life that you want to grow. Today's topic came from multiple messages that we received within one hour. One of the questions saying: "What to do when you get disconnected? We are really...
Jul 28, 2020•40 min•Ep. 90
Trust is the feeling of: "you have my back". When trust is high in any relationship you can feel that you can fly, fail, and yet still be accepted and loved by your partner. This is so foundational for a healthy, happy relationship that wants to be able to grow. When trust has been broken, whether from a big or small event, it harbors doubt, resentment, and suspicion in the relationship. Today's topic came from several DM's and IG poll votes, plus a financial trust question from Teresa: "After r...
Jul 21, 2020•48 min•Ep. 89
So you have had a fight in your relationship, now what…? Right after you might feel angry or sad, certainty disconnected, or even that you do not want to be around them. This is a tough place to be in for your relationship; HOWEVER this is not the part you need to be worried about initially. It's about how long are you going to be in this period of being disconnected! This episode is all about how to reconnect after you have had a fight or disagreement. Today's topic came from a question on a DM...
Jul 14, 2020•40 min•Ep. 88
All of a sudden the personality differences that attracted you to your partner earlier in the relationship, become the things that frustrate you and cause tension! How can this be? Once you find yourself in this place it can feel like your own needs are not getting met. For example maybe you are naturally more spontaneous and playful than your partner who 'makes decisions slower' and likes to structure and plan things out. Today's topic came from Heather's question on Instagram that said: "My pa...
Jul 07, 2020•40 min•Ep. 87
Swinging for the fence right from the start here… criticism in your relationship in one of the top four things that lead to disconnection and divorce (*The Gottman Institute). Even besides that fact, being criticized by your partner just sucks! It leads to arguments, conflicts, and a loss of connection at best. Though it may seem like a topic that you want to tell your partner to listen to, because this is something that THEY need to work on, there are key things that you BOTH can work on to bet...
Jun 30, 2020•36 min•Ep. 86
