Have you never had that feeling of being perplexed and thrown off guard when you tried to bring something up to your partner? You might have had a recent upset, an event that you were frustrated by, or another emotion that you needed to express to your partner. Within a few seconds your partner dumps all their own upsets and frustrations at you; even going as far as to compare how their pain is worse than yours! This is an "emotional hijack" that makes the conversation all about them and leaves ...
Nov 22, 2022•13 min•Ep. 265
Food that is "bland" isn't bad or inedible, it just lacks any zest or real flavor. Marriage can take on a similar feeling too, it's not that anything is a major problem, but you are not feeling any real zest, excitement, or even newness. As you will hear in this episode, all relationships will find themselves in this type of season for some specific reasons. You will also hear some examples, that might even be happening for you now, that signify that you need to take these steps to bring in some...
Nov 15, 2022•18 min•Ep. 264
This is a bit of a celebration episode for us personally… Just in the past week this podcast broke into the Top 20 relationship podcasts on Apple, we went over 100,000 followers on Instagram, and we had over 500 couples join the Fight Smarter Weblcass ! (by the way if you missed the weblcass you can watch it again with this link) As you can imagine for us, we are very proud and excited, plus we have been receiving SO many questions from all the new couples in this relationship ecosystem. So this...
Nov 08, 2022•26 min•Ep. 263
Have you ever tried to validate your position during an argument by saying "Oh but that wasn't my intention"? Have you noticed how that doesn't help at all? At least in that moment, because it is not the right time. It shows the need to understand the big difference between intent and impact. In this episode you will hear about how intention doesn't matter in these moments and the more you fight for explaining it, the further down you will go into conflict. You will hear how to switch into ackno...
Oct 31, 2022•20 min•Ep. 262
Though you, and every other couple, face different challenges in your life and marriage; why do some struggle and some thrive? Struggling doesn't mean that you are just facing a challenge, because everyone will. Struggle then is the experience you have while facing a challenge. Of all the couples we talk to and coach, we have seen patterns between those that experience disconnection, anxiety, and tension and those that maintain connection, togetherness and being a team during challenging times. ...
Oct 25, 2022•26 min•Ep. 261
A part of a thriving relationship depends on the work done by each partner to grow individually. You have heard common phrases like your "wealth grows at the extent you grow" and this could be said about your relationship as well. As much as it takes using the right skills and tools as a couple, it all starts with your own willingness to progress on your own individual path of growth. In this episode you will hear 3 things that women need to work on in marriage right now. This is coming from the...
Oct 20, 2022•18 min•Ep. 260
A part of a thriving relationship depends on the work done by each partner to grow individually. You have heard common phrases like your "wealth grows at the extent you grow" and this could be said about your relationship as well. As much as it takes using the right skills and tools as a couple, it all starts with your own willingness to progress on your own individual path of growth. In this episode you will hear 3 things that men need to work on in marriage right now. This is coming from the m...
Oct 18, 2022•20 min•Ep. 259
We are just off hosting the Couples Workshop in Arizona yesterday, and this was one of the biggest takeaways from the ½ day in person event. Communication seems easy when you only think of it as "verbalizing what you are thinking". But this often leads to the biggest communication mistake that turns simple conversations into an argument. In this episode we will give you the inside look at the most effective communication tool that we teach at the Couples Workshop and in our coaching. By changing...
Oct 11, 2022•13 min•Ep. 258
Do you feel like life is piling things onto you and your partner right now? There are defintely seasons where a lot of hard things can hit you all at once which really makes it difficult to stay positive and stay connected as a team. In this solo episode you will hear from Jocelyn to get two things to do in seasons like these. Everything, even challenges, are temporary. But use these two things so you can stay connected until the ride is over! Resources For Your Relationship: Watch our FREE WebC...
Oct 06, 2022•8 min•Ep. 257
Here you are having a slightly tension filled conversation with your partner, then out of nowhere they bring up something from the past! "You did the same thing last week" or "this is exactly what you do, you don't respect me". One of the most common things we hear that escalates things quickly is the past being brought up. This is not just random however, this is an indication of a few things. In this episode we're going to share FOUR of the most common things this indicates and all 4 could rea...
Oct 04, 2022•21 min•Ep. 256
Men, there is something you don't understand about your female partners… Being completely honest here, this is something that women might forget in the moment as well. When women don't understand this about themselves then they don't communicate in the best way or request what it is they need so that it can be received by their male partners. Men, without understanding this need that women have, you will easily invalidate them and easily escalate the conversation into a triggering conflict. In t...
Sep 29, 2022•21 min•Ep. 255
Women, there is something you don't understand about your male partners… Being completely honest here, this is something most men don't even understand about themselves! When men don't understand this about themselves then they cannot even communicate or request what it is they need and default to shutting down, being silent, or even leaving the physical space without so much as a word about what is happening. Women, without understanding this need that men have, you will take it personally and ...
Sep 27, 2022•23 min•Ep. 254
If you have ever felt that you needed to make a difficult decision or that you have been in the same place in your marriage longer than you've wanted, you likely need to identify your values and adjust your priorities! Now this can be a very seasonal thing, even core values can adjust based on the season you are coming out of or wanting to enter into! Sometimes it even involves rearranging your core values to one's that are more important to you right now. But this can be a hard conversation bec...
Sep 20, 2022•28 min•Ep. 253
After going through the most challenging month of my life, which of course had a major impact on Jocelyn as we went through it together, this is one of the major lessons I learned. Though you experience different challenges and varying degrees of emotional stress around them, the fact remains that challenges themselves are temporary. This realization was a major turning point during this time. In this solo episode you will hear about two distinct aspects of circumstantial challenges, you will fe...
Sep 15, 2022•15 min•Ep. 252
Do you remember your wedding vows, could you tell us what they are and more importantly if you have been keeping them? Sorry if that feels like a bold and challenging question, but the point is that many of us have forgotten what we promised our spouse at the start of the marriage! There are a few reasons this happens, tune into the episode to hear what those are. But the more important thing is to ongoingly remake your promises to each other to be a match to the next season of life together and...
Sep 13, 2022•23 min•Ep. 251
You are familiar with those times where you go to ask for help or share a need you have with your partner. All of a sudden you find yourself keeping score of all the things you do, comparing how much you do, and making sure then see that it's more than they do. Now you are in a battle for what is fair and where you feel things are out of balance. In this episdoe you will hear about where this dynamic comes from and the main tips to get our of the cycle. This is a complex dynamic as well so be su...
Sep 08, 2022•11 min•Ep. 250
The fall season has historically been a time of growing stronger or more strained as a couple. As a followup from last week, we want to cover 3 of the challenges that men are expressing in marriage right now. Does it address "everything" that every single couple is saying to us right now? Of course not. But these are 3 big ones that many are experiencing, so we thought it'd be helpful for you to know. As mentioned in the episdoe, this all leads to a battle for fairness and balnace in a marriage ...
Sep 06, 2022•18 min•Ep. 249
This episode is a dose of motivation and perspective change for your marriage and life. Book a Relationship Breakthrough Session with us. This is a private 2-on-2 session to overcome any challenge you're facing as a couple. Read more and pick your slot here.
Sep 01, 2022•9 min•Ep. 248
The fall season has historically been a time of growing stronger or more strained as a couple. That's why we want to cover 3 of the challenges that women are expressing in marriage right now. Does it address "everything" that every single couple is saying to us right now? Of course not. But these are 3 big ones that many are experiencing, so we thought it'd be helpful for you to know. Book a Relationship Breakthrough Session with us. This is a private 2-on-2 session to overcome any challenge you...
Aug 30, 2022•22 min•Ep. 247
Are we the only ones facing some "challenges" in life right now? Let's talk about the real stuff going on. When you face challenges – whether in your marriage or life circumstances you're facing – do you become smaller or bigger? "Smaller" meaning: you shrink down, become paralyzed, maybe even a victim mentality. "Bigger" meaning: you rise to the occasion, you get resourceful, you call on support/help, you shift your perspective and get into action. Today's episode will cover some personal chall...
Aug 23, 2022•23 min•Ep. 246
Have you had the experience of being inspired for a short amount of time, then realize something was missing to actually create the actual change you wanted in your life and marriage? Or how about with your partner... have you been frustrated because they say they are doing to make a change, only to fall back into the same patterns in just a few weeks? This can be frustrating for both you and your partner, especially when they have said real change was going to happen and it doesn't. You lose a ...
Aug 16, 2022•19 min•Ep. 245
Having hard conversations is a part of being in a marriage. These conversations come up when you feel disconnected, when a past conflict is unresolved, or when you are feeling disconnected and want to get back to connection. Depending on each of your styles of communicating, when you go to have these conversations, you might end up in the "Pursue-Withdraw" pattern. In this episode you will hear the dynamics of this pattern, where one of you is trying to engage but the other pulls away, as well a...
Aug 09, 2022•24 min•Ep. 244
'Emotional Agility' is your ability to be with and accept your strong emotions while letting them better inform you of the next actions to take in your life. As you can already tell this is not an easy thing or a natural thing when you feel big emotions like fear, worry, anxiety, regret, or resentment. Typically what would happen when these strong emotions come up, we either: avoid or suppress the emotion and try to just move on, just react and make another bad decision in these stressed states,...
Aug 02, 2022•30 min•Ep. 243
Before you click away from seeing the overused word "goals", remember goals are the things you want to achieve in your life and marriage. So they are important, even though this conversation has been talked about so much. But there is a MISSING PIECE to all of this which is identifying your standards! This is a conversion that we are even going through ourselves as we redefine what we want our next season of life and marriage to be. Goals don't always get achieved BUT they never will if you don'...
Jul 26, 2022•19 min•Ep. 242
A funny thing in a relationship is that in the beginning your differences attracted you to your partner. Some time later those differences become points of tension and butting heads. All of a sudden you want them to be less assertive and opinionated, more organized and to remember to put household things in the places you want, you want them to change their tone and sound less accusatory, or you differ on decisions to either go on a trip or to save money. In this episode you will understand more...
Jul 19, 2022•24 min•Ep. 241
Trips to see your in-laws… these are supposed to be times of fun, connection, and relaxation. Yet many times they can be quite the opposite. You might feel drained, depleted, constrained from being yourself and what you really want to do, and end up ending the trip without it being what you really wanted and would have fulfilled you. The core reason for this is blurred or crossed boundaries. In this episode you will hear, after we just went on a trip to see our families, the categories of bounda...
Jul 12, 2022•24 min•Ep. 240
The most important thing in relationships is repairing and resolving conflicts. Because conflicts WILL happen, it's not about the amount or even having them. Now true repair is not necessarily an easy thing, because of the emotion you both have, the different perspectives you have, and the complex dynamics that happen from making a few mistakes. These mistakes leave you feeling unresolved, that it's your fault, blamed, or forced to move on and get past it. In all cases you don't feel understood ...
Jul 05, 2022•30 min•Ep. 239
Having frustrations and feelings of resentment over your roles and responsibilities is a common thing we hear. One parter is frustrated about not getting help, then the response they get is: "just tell me what you need me to do" OR "I'm happy to help, just tell me what" OR sometimes "it's your job, you stay at home, I work, so just get it done". This is frustrating for both partners, and triggers defensivness and often a conflict. This is because: For the partner having to remind: it feels like ...
Jun 28, 2022•32 min•Ep. 238
You and your partner both do a lot of things for the relationship and marriage to work. A lot of these things are done each day and are very routine. But it's easy to feel taken for granted, or even taken advantage of when you do not feel that your partner has acknowledged you for those things. In this episode you will be reminded to acknowledge your partner more often AND 3 "things" to acknowledge them for that will progressively have them feel more and more acknowledged for. There are things t...
Jun 21, 2022•20 min•Ep. 237
Would anyone actually raise their hand and say that they enjoyed failure? If any, it would be a small number for sure because we just don't like that feeling that comes with failing. But what if failure wasn't a separate thing from success? What if failure had to happen on the journey to success? In this motivational moment episode, Aaron goes into the idea he got from his experience traveling to Austin Texas for a crypto conference. Though it was an unlikely place to get an idea for relationshi...
Jun 16, 2022•10 min•Ep. 236
