You join today’s show mid-crash. Mid-comedown. John Robins is 30 minutes post-butterscotch. How is he meant to broadcast at the top of his game on such a slippery downhill blood sugar slide? Do Elis and Dave need to have an intervention to get him back on the straight and narrow? Amidst such a rut however there’s time to dig into offering business advice to local restaurants, and a Made Up Game which sees the tawdry line tested. Plus Elis now has old hands, and The Beaker People rear their neoli...
Mar 18, 2025•1 hr 7 min
If content were a wrist, chat were the blood flowing through the veins of that wrist, and today’s episode of Elis and John were the finger, then all 3 would be in perfect harmony. For this is an episode with its finger firmly on the nation’s pulse. What else is the nation talking about than mullets, Van Morrison, dressing up your kids, and a pile of tyres on a farm near Narberth? It’s an episode that really does cover the gamut of human experience; it contains multitudes. It also contains a pink...
Mar 14, 2025•1 hr 9 min
The Cymru Connection is officially newsworthy: we said it could be significant, and boy was it. Sadly we didn’t get a 2000 word thinkpiece on whether opening with the question ‘where did you go to school?’ is actually harmful for Elis’s xC (expected connections), but we did get a 3 minute package on the nation’s favourite feature that will no doubt be talked about for decades to come. The boys reflect on their newfound cultural importance, and John discovers a hard truth about how his role on th...
Mar 11, 2025•1 hr 7 min
Is John having a Pep Guardiola moment? For a man who wins a lot, he’s chalked up a lot of losses this week. Firstly there’s an unprecedented Wordle catastrophe that only the language of the great Bard can summarise. And secondly, there’s a barren month on the old PB’s (premium bonds). But worry not, for John has “lit a fire in today”. What kind of fire? A content fire. Nothing can stop the man from producing content. Elis dives once again into the annals of history to continue a comprehensive lo...
Mar 07, 2025•1 hr
“Wales might be a country of 3.1 million people, but it seems like we all know each other. Well one broadcaster on BBC Radio 5 Live is putting that to the test.” [Roll VT] It’s a big day for Elis. This could be significant. BBC Wales are in the house to cover the local / national news stories on everyone’s lips: The Cymru Connection. The eyes of a section of the UK are on him. Can he succeed when the nation’s local news comes to town? As a result there’s not just one, but two bites at the succul...
Mar 04, 2025•1 hr 10 min
“I just feel ashamed and sad now.” John’s in a bad mood. He has made this patently clear he wants nothing to catch him off guard. That’s great news for Elis when he’s got a big fun surprise for John that he’s put a load of work into. Wish him luck. Because it’s a huge milestone week for Mr Johnny JR Robins. Two decades on the circuit. And in that time innumerable regional arts centres have felt his comedic touch in that time. So many times has John won. Again. And Again. Thus now is the time to ...
Feb 28, 2025•1 hr
John’s currently penning something which will change global culture. But what if we lift the bonnet of his genius? That is what we find out on today’s show. For in that bonce is a V8 plucking words from the ether with such vim and vigour, and combining those words to make phrases, clauses and sentences. Word constructs which then combine to make reflections and musings that will make people go “huh, that’s profound” like nothing before. The ease with which John hammers out words at such a pace w...
Feb 25, 2025•1 hr 7 min
John has eaten some chocolate just before recording and now he’s all glum. So it’s up to Elis and Dave to get him out of his funk. Their options: 1. Take his trousers off. 2. Give him a wedgie. 3. Let him tell his anecdote about going to a folk gig and sitting in front of an annoying couple. One wonders which they’ll pick? After the chunk funk (chocolate funk) has subsided, there’s more premium bond chat, and after Elis’s poor showing around Valentine’s Day last week, dating expert LalalaLetMeEx...
Feb 21, 2025•55 min
Brace yourselves, because John is about to discover something massive LIVE on the podcast. This could be significant. This could change the game. This could mean that Project 2032(TM) has come early. It’s a potentially life-changing day for Robins, and somewhat like an episode of 24, it all plays out in real time. Strap yourselves in, folks. And with John’s attention elsewhere, could this also be a game-changing day for our Elis James? Will the sense of excitement that’s pervading the studio see...
Feb 18, 2025•1 hr 6 min
Love is in the air and it’s really setting Producer Dave’s pulse racing. And not just because he’s madly in love himself. Rather it’s because Elis and John are leaning into topical content in a natural fashion without prompting. Something to get any commercial radio producer excitable. For yes, it’s Valentine’s Day. Romance is making the studio a thick humid erotic soup. Elis will send Isy a text saying “well done”. And John’s Love Heart that says “new love” on it has broken in half; a sign that...
Feb 14, 2025•1 hr 10 min
What do the people want? Wordle Live. What do they not want? The Cymru Connection. That’s the opinion of John Robins. Just John Robins. You thought that we were out of the Wordly woods. But no, the more concern you have for the woods the more trees John will plant. PLANT being a good starter. John wants a feature substitution and he'll wage this war on Elis, listeners and production staff alike until he gets it. Failing that, what about a daily Wordle podcast? Guys. Guys! GUUYYS!?! Don’t run off...
Feb 11, 2025•1 hr 16 min
You would think Elis and Producer Dave would be offering praise to the mood gods, for Johnny JR is in a good one, having interviewed his favourite musician of all time for a project he cannot comment on. May - check. Oldham - check. McCombes - check (but didn’t engage). Yet the fly in the ointment: with such big energy, John’s sackings flow forth like a wave. Equally such vim it also means there’s the vigour to go in two footed on shoes. Who could expect that? Elsewhere, we’re on other fertile g...
Feb 07, 2025•54 min
There’s some big goals targeted on today’s show. Firstly, ‘legacy’ is on the lips. What permanent impact can Elis and John leave? Secondly, what can help achieve Project 2032 and allow John to retire in just 7 years? Finally, Dave just wants to create some vaguely entertaining content and keep John busy. The proposed options are numerous to reach the above goals. Well, everything from pottery and doing a food safety certificate. Can any of the ideas achieve all three? Absolutely not. Not even th...
Feb 04, 2025•1 hr 26 min
Some of you wanted less not more Wordle chat. You pleaded even to the production team. But the team were scared. For there were Wordle emails that had come in. What if Emperor Robins found out they’d been squirreling such content away from him. It would displease him so. Thus he was presented with it all. And like a labrador at the bowl, he could feast. Feast until unwell. So what of the pleas? With his 3.6 average word score laurel perched on his head, he peered down from his chaise longe. As t...
Jan 31, 2025•1 hr 10 min
Someone’s put 50p in Johnny JR today. And it’s incredible what such loose change can enact. For since the wee hours he’s been cackling into his notebook at the output of his terrifyingly fervent mind at work. So fervent in fact, that he almost struggles to get through his own twisting creation. Strap in from the off, because when he’s in top gear it’s a mind quite unlike any other. Beyond the bubbling crevasses of John’s imagination there’s Elis James to deal with. Because once again it’s time f...
Jan 28, 2025•1 hr 4 min
You thought you were safe from Wordle? Hasn’t everyone else stopped talking about it? Well, you were wrong. But don’t switch off, come back, come back! For it’s an etymological *feast* today - is that a good eliminator word?! Because alongside Old English word origins and some quite impenetrable tactics chat, there are some astonishing revelations about Johnny JR’s mental approach to the global word game. But there’s also good news in the Robins Realm because his young bum has been signed off. A...
Jan 24, 2025•1 hr 1 min
No, this episode is not a web error. Instead it contains something else which will make the content servers explode. Yes that’s right, it’s the return of the Cymru Connection. And amidst such Cymraeg content it’s fever pitch. In fact the fervour has led to an Elis on such a high that he makes financial cheques that he might not be able to cash. In other slightly less medium shaking happenings the lovely Lou Sanders joins the boys to offer some sartorial advice. As well as Lou's usual askance app...
Jan 21, 2025•51 min
Akin to Weller in February 1980 ‘tatts entertainment’ was bouncing around the studio today as the boys hit action stations to execute one of their great TV ideas. If commissioners are listening then [email protected] is the place to send your multimillion pound offer. Next on the list: Adrian and John travel round the UK feeling existential dread. Elsewhere away from such bona fide televisual hits John gives us another peek into his fervent mind via the vehicles of brown noise and the weakne...
Jan 17, 2025•1 hr
With Speakergate gone (we hope) in the blink of a manually adjustable eye it’s time for John to turn to one of his other favourite pastimes: cheekiness. Trying to get plugs past Producer Dave without him noticing, by increasingly layered and convoluted means? Count that checked and duly intervened on. Campaigning for the return of erotic movies? Tick, oh he's a cheeky scamp that one. And that saucy subject is one he seems to know more about than he perhaps should. In other goings on there’s a lo...
Jan 14, 2025•1 hr 15 min
Nobody’s making audio like this. Nobody approaching such breadth. One episode it’s half an hour discussing home audio solutions and then the next the wheels are set in motion to achieve the pilot of Britain’s Sexiest Tattoo. The rumours are that we’ve already hit five submissions. Could ‘a breast on a knee’ make the shortlist? And the online promo strategy isn’t torpedoed as you can get away with it on socials because 'it’s art'. And on top of that there’s a couple of majestic Mad Dads, some clo...
Jan 10, 2025•52 min
400 not out. But plough on past Brian Lara we will. And welcome new listeners for 2025. The BBC's wide reaching podcast ad campaign has no doubt brought you here. You are likely puzzled now that you're here, because what follows today is a man spending around 35 minutes ranting about speakers and the technicalities of streaming platforms, before another 35 of a man talking about knowing people in Wales. It’s all completely approachable stuff. Debates have rarely been more heated as John has a ma...
Jan 07, 2025•1 hr 18 min
The boys are kicking off 2025 with contrasting vibes: Johnny JR is feeling grateful, and the team think of 11 (slightly unusual) reasons for him to be cheerful (think white teeth, think flat ears). Poor Elis on the other hand is starting the New Year with the sniffles, so regales us of his Christmas antics down the line. And is it a case of new year new pod? Will this chance of renewal be grasped by our podcasting heroes? Will this be the Great Reset 2.0? We’ll let you decide, but do bear in min...
Jan 03, 2025•57 min
Things that can be reset: timers, bones, electronic devices. Other things that can be reset: bantercasts featuring the BBC’s youngest and most relevant broadcasters. For this year, Messrs Elis James and John Robins hit the big reset button, and changed to a groundbreaking linear podcast-first broadcast-second podcast way of broadcasting, something that most had previously thought impossible. After John had introduced the show in cod-Shakespearean describing 5 Live’s annual social, there were fli...
Dec 31, 2024•1 hr 7 min
It’s a game of 3 halves as a trifecta of things looms large over today’s episode: Paul McCartney, a sun lounger, and a humdinger of a Made Up Game. Also looming large from the sidelines: a pigeon and some dog mess. All of the above contribute to a wild rollercoaster for our Elis. One moment he’s experiencing McCartney bliss, the next he’s in the dumpiest of dumps for reasons that will become clear. Luckily John is on hand to cheer him up/make things worse. Check back here for a best of The Great...
Dec 24, 2024•1 hr 16 min
'Elis and John Smash Up A Bus Stop'. 'The UK’s Biggest Dog'. 'Elis and John’s Big Supper'. Just a flavour of how unstoppable the content ideas train is today. There’s no ‘out of office’ here. Not even Keanu Reeves in Speed 3: Content Never Sleeps could stop this festive content locomotive. For alongside such a fertile ideas flow, Father Christmas has also come early, in the shape of Elis bearing gifts. The South Wales Santa leaves his traditional presents of yoghurt and a 4 month late gift for J...
Dec 20, 2024•53 min
Fresh from their Christmas Cracker Elis and John are in a sense celebrating Boxing Day, but in another sense they’re creating linear/circular content that can be easily digested at any point this Christmas/not at Christmas at all. In short, it’s the most confusing time of the year! But what we can guarantee there isn’t confusion about is the quality of the #content. Both Elis and John come armed with anecdotes - one involving a maps-based misjudgement, the other involving weft - ministerial bant...
Dec 17, 2024•1 hr 7 min
“Mmmh yeah Christmastime.” In a linear sense it’s Christmas Day. In a circular sense it’s some time between 13th and 25th December. Ho! Ho! Ho! What better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker? Oh and we have festive fun. Elis and John write a Christmas song which is equal parts downbeat and administration heavy, whilst it’s the most madderful time of the year for fathers. We’ve also got a very secret guest that Producer Dave reveals within the first 15 minu...
Dec 13, 2024•1 hr 5 min
This is sierras of the papas broadcasting, and news just in: we’re all out of papas! John’s losing his voice because of doing an extraordinary impression of an Australian in a mystical Bureau de Change for some BBC Sounds bonus content, but we plough on! And in a way, this is the definition of ‘talent’, which we discover that Tim Davie is keen to define. Elsewhere, there’s a classic Made Up Game, Elis (Patient Father and Nice Friend) James does some keepy uppies and Dave engages in a stag where ...
Dec 10, 2024•1 hr 2 min
“All suffering is resistance to suffering” is soon followed by “we are technically a comedy podcast” on the show today. So it’s clearly another banter filled hour or so which covers the hilarious fodder of regret, gratitude and whether you should tell your BF that you’ve got a billiard room. It’s all good stuff as Dave is pressured into doing stand up (again as he will never give). Also an 8 year old believes the show is now a “bum surgery podcast” and the lovely Sophie Duker pops along. There’s...
Dec 06, 2024•1 hr 1 min
There are records today for pre-Cymru Connection heads in hands as Britain’s clumsiest Welsh language comic gets all sorts of muck over himself. Amidst such mess there’s only one thing that can carry Elis James through: A songwriting talent to rival Lennon & McCartney at their peak. This brings the return of the classic 'Dorking, Leatherhead, Ryegate’ - one for the purists. And speaking of stuff for the purists - and defenders of terrestrial radio’s most divisive feature - DI Robbyns also ma...
Dec 03, 2024•53 min
