The Gift Of Grief (Lisa Harper)

and I realized one of my ates is grief. And I thought, what a weird thing to be grateful for grief. And I promise I have not been smoking anything medicinal. I know that sounds so counterintuitive when we come from this great time of worship to then just kind of dive into grief. But I realized grief for me and I'm in another season of grief. I lost somebody I loved very much a month ago yesterday, and I'm just in that place of I trust in God. And he answered,

but he took a wild answer. And ye know, sometimes there's that gap between I trust in God and then you're waiting on an answer, waiting on an answer, waiting on answer. C. S. Lewis says, sometimes we don't get the answer that we're so desperate for. We get more of a no answer. He said, but it's not uncompassionates, as if God is saying peace child. You don't understand this because we see through the lens, you know, kind

of blurry, and so it's your fault. It's not going to rhyme today because she wrecks me with just that focused on everything that filters through the hands of God is good. I love this house, deeply, deeply respect your leadership. I'm at an age and stage of life where I get discounts at fast food restaurants and I'm turning to sixty one next month. So I've lived a whole lot

of life. So when I get to be around leaders like Chunks and Colleen Tunis and people who've stayed the course for a while I just so deeply respect that kind of longevity. If you're one of those people who gets bugged when people go on and on about how much they love Elevation, you're going to have to get over yourself this morning because I love the house. The first time I got to come here, I really thought

they had messed up. I thought Chunks thought he was texting Lisa Turkhurst, and I just wasn't going to tell him any different. I was so excited about the fact that I got to come and I still feel like that. I kind of feel like the shy girl, you know, with a you know, payless haircut, and I got invited to prom by the football quarterback. I love getting to

come here. On the plane in Nashville, they delayed us, and I was like, if they tell me they are canceling in spite to Charlotte, I will get on my bike and ride here, which would have been difficult because it's a peloton, but still I would have attempted it. I love, love, love this house, and a couple of qualifications extra I'm a spitter, and y'all, I'm so sorry.

I get really excited when I'm talking about Jesus and I spew, So y'all are kind of going to get rebaptized if your presbyteria'll be cool, because it's a sprinkling. If you need a full dunking, it's not going to be that exciting. And then I might slightly wreck your Independence Day week because I want to start with a Fourth of July story, which is where I actually learned to grieve in a way that led me towards Jesus instead of into a place by myself. It's about fifteen

years ago. It was Fourth of July week, and I was real excited. I love the Fourth of July. I get all the blinkies and the Sparkleys and the red, white and blue, and I was really really fired up. And I was also fired up because I was in a very serious romantic relationship with a really, really handsome, incredible man. And I guess enough time has passed that I can share his name publicly now. His name is Larry super fat liar pants and it was such a

big fat liar. But anyway, we dated seriously for about and we were heading to what I thought was I was going to finally get to, you know, buy the white dress and get all the bride's maid's dresses. I was going to do a bush and I was so excited because I was almost forty and to get married at almost forty, I mean, spanks are going to be involved,

but that's like exciting, that's a huge relief. And he ghosted me right before fourth of July, and I know, I know I should tell you it was real name, but anyway, he's married another girl but they divorced, so anyway, that was hateful and not fruit of the spirit. But anyway, I'm going to get to gratitude in just a second. Do not is faster? Stephen watching this. Hopefully he's just like being alone with the Lord and doesn't know what's happening in his church this morning. We're going to get

to the Bible in just a second. But anyway, Larry Lyerpants ghosted me right before Jolly fourth and we were going to this big couple's sway and that I'd gotten a new output for It's gonna be so much fun. And I was like, well, I can't go with all the couples, you know, when I'm he just I'm not with him. That's like going to Krispy Kreme when you're

on keto. I'm not going to do that. And so a friend called me and said, hey, if you're not going to go to that party, why don't you come over to my house because she was going through a real awful divorce and it was the first time she'd ever been without her kids. They were with their dad for Fourth of July, and she said, I kind of need a friend. And then a bunch of us are getting together for our own Fourth of July party, and I was like, oh great, I'll be with all the

sad single ladies with cats. So I thought, okay, I'm just going to own this. And so I go over to her house and I thought, you know, she doesn't have, you know, her husband here anymore. Maybe I could actually help before the party. My dad was a contractor, I'm single, all kinds of power tools, and so I thought, I'll put in some shelving in her garage. That would help this nice girl who's a single mom and she's kind of sad like me. And so I put these shelves.

I was putting them in her garage and I was way up high on the ladder and the ladder started to She had those bougie garage floors. They're real slick. And the ladder started to slide and I'm way up with this drill, and I thought, oh, shoot fire, I'm gonna fall. I can't there's nothing I can do. I wouldn't saidhoot fire if I wasn't in church. But so I start to slip and I look down and you know those tomato those swirly things people put tomato plants

on the summer metal things. I look down and I see those, and the sharp part is up and I was like, oh shoot, I'm about to become a kebab. And so I was trying to you know how you're like swimming in the air because I knew it was going to hit the concrete. I just didn't want to hit the tomato spirals. So I'm kind of swimming well.

When I did, my leg hooked under the ladder and I fell from twelve feet on the concrete and knocked myself out, and I cracked a tooth and lost a tooth right there, which is why I listp a little and broke my ankle, knocked myself out, knocked the tooth out of my head. She heard me fall, she comes running around. I promise this will get better. We're getting

to the Bible and hope, so stay with me. And she comes running around while she was really alarmed that I was unconscious when she found me in a little bloody and so she calls somebody she knows who's the medical field, and they say she probably has a you know, concussion, so keep her up and ask her about the president of the year and all that. And so she kind of gets me on her couch and she's like, what's the year? And I'm like, like, what are you doing?

She keeps asking me historical questions. I've never really liked history. And then she comes back in like the fourth time, because I'm thinking, I just need to go home, Like this has just been not at all the day I expected. I just need to go home. She comes running back in. I think she's going to ask me about the president, and she goes, Reeve's dead, and I was like, what

are you talking about. Well, a friend of mine when they had kids, he found out his kids were allergic to dogs, and so he said, can you keep one of my dogs. I'm finding a place for him. And he had a dog named Reba, because is why writes country songs. And she wrote a cut on Reba's record, so named the dog Riba. There's the worst dog in the history of time. But I love dogs and I

felt sorry for this dog. Well, nobody wanted the dog, and I ended up having the dog forever, even though technically I was just keeping the dog for twelve years until he got somebody to adopt this dog. So I had several dogs, but also I had Riba and little tiny, red, fluffy dog. And while I was helping at this girl's house, I just put RIBA's leash on the fence because I was going to go for a run with Riba before

the party. And when this girl named Kim took me under how she just wasn't thinking that this little dog the leash was still on the fence. And so when fireworks started going off and she's making sure I'm not dead, Rita but got all twisted up and Riba died, and I thought she was kidding me, and I thought it was this horrible, horrible joke. I'm like, that's just awful, and she was no. You know when people get nervous and they laugh because they're nervous, So I still couldn't

tell she was punking me. She was like, no, he was dead, and I was like what, Like this is awful. I've lost my man, I've lost a tooth, I've broken you. Are you really tell him when my dog died? And then she went yeah, I put her in the freezer. I was like, you put her in the fresh star and she said, well it's hot, and I was afraid she'd stink and I've never dealt with the dead dog before, so yeah, she's in the freezer. And for a moment, I thought, this isn't my life. Like I was supposed

to get married. I'd picked out the dress and as July the fourth, and supposed to be all sparkly, and now I've lost my man, I've lost my tooth, and my dog is in the freezer, and I thought this is not one of those I trust in God, And he answered moments this is I trust in God. And I feel like it's gotten me to a really bad place because now I can't even cuss because I trust in God and this is just hard and sad, and all I want to do is eat been in jerries

and like, oh, this is terrible. Maybe even go to Netflix. I what happens when you trust in God? And you don't get the answer you want right then. I used to never talk about hard things like that. I never used to say when I was grieving, when I lost somebody I loved. I never talked about the gap between I trusting God any answers. Because I grew up in a stream of the church where it was just tacitly endorsed that you always wear a happy face. I thought

that was somewhere in the Bible. I thought, if you were serious about your faith, you could not ever say you were having a hard day. I thought you just shoulders back, head up, big smile, hopefully a T shirt with a verse on it. Because I didn't think we were allowed as Christ followers to say I trust in God, but he hasn't answered yet. I trust in God, but I'm really sad right now. I thought I'm not allowed to do that. It'll be a bad witness, It'll hurt

God's reputation. I used to beat myself up internally and just say, if you could just memorize a few more verses, if you could just muster up a little more faith, you'd be a more effective evangelist. Lisa, you can't say you're having a hard day. Somehow that negates the whole fact that he's a perfect God, that he's good God, that he never leaves us, and he never forsakes us. So I curated my emotions and I only brought the bright and shiny and the red, white and blue sparkly

wines to church. And I never brought the black and blue. My heart is broken and my dog is dead. I didn't bring that to the family of faith. I just ached in isolation because I swallowed the lie that God is disappointed in us if we're sad. I thought sad was bad. You know, it took me a long, long long time to realize that our guy is so kind that never one time, never, one time, in this love story we call the Bible, does he say I want you to stuff the sad parts and only bring the

bright and shiny to me. He never ever people do that. But our creator, Redeemer has never said I only want the positivity in you. He never says that. He says, bring me everything, bring me everything. If deep if deep fake was a sport, I was a world champion. Then I went to seminary the first go round, and I could wrap Greek and Hebrew around my deep fake, and when I got in a ditch between I trust in God,

and it took a while for me to hear his answer. Man, I got stuck stuck in that ditch, and God did chastise me, and I didn't get a holy spanky, Uni said through Holy Spirit. When I was literally and emotionally flat on my face, he said, Lisa, you've been running so hard for so long that I had to put a lump under your rug, so big that it would

cause you to trip. Because I love you so much and the pretense in you has caused offense between us, and I want all of you, and so I'm going to sit here with you in the dark until fear doesn't own you anymore, until you can bring all of you to all of me. So I still have deep ends. This July the fourth was a hard one too, because the only man I've ever trusted died, and he died way too young, and we really believe that he would

be healed. So this July the fourth wasn't super bright and shiny either, But the presence of God in that place and the way grief has made his countenance a little clear. When we're sad, sometimes the veil gets a little thinnered, doesn't it, And His presence is just so palpable because we need it and we're more cognizant of the fact that we need God. I'm not trying to

be Debbie Downer today. I'm just saying, as a people of God, sometimes I think we're missing this whole beautiful green pasture and the still water because we try to put on bright and shiny when we're in church or when we were other Christians, and sometimes even the world. We've got a world that is so sad and so broken, and we've become so irrelevant because we try to pretend like we aren't. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. We talk about how God is with us in the hard places,

not that we don't have them anymore. And it's all throughout scripture. I don't know how I miss this. All throughout Scripture. We have story after story. You have story of people who were disappointed, people who were sad. Why do we think they are all bright and shiny and in leather pants. They're not. Every single one of the saints went through seasons where they lost their groove. Charles Spurgeon,

who is my pretend theological boyfriend. I love Spurgeon, and I was so encouraged when I read the Spurgeon, one of the greatest saints we've ever experienced as a Christian people lived in the UK late eighteen hundreds, amazing communicator of the gospel. Hundreds of thousands got saved under Spurgeon's ministry. We're still reading his books. He's amazing. Spurgeon said, there are times when I feel like I'm living in a dungeon underneath a castle of despair. That's sad. I mean,

that's like prozac kind of sad. Baby, that is carbo loading kind of said, I'm living in a dungeon underneath a castle of despair. One of the most effective evangelance the world has ever seen. And he said, I ache, y'all, we will all ache. Unless you have not gone through puberty, or you have amnesia, or you too are Larry or Larry at liar pants, we will all ate. Jesus didn't punk us. He didn't say everything's going to be perfect here. He said, in this world, you will have trouble. He said,

take heart, take heart, take heart. I've overcome the world. And if you've listened to your pasture, I think we'll get to the place where we even become grateful for grief because we realize Oh. Usually revivals follow pits. Usually, if you'll look back over the trajectory of your walk of faith, you'll go Man, where I really grew wasn't a season of where everything was going well. It was a season where the bottom fell out of my world and I found God there. I still have deep ens.

I'm just not afraid I'm gonna drown anymore. I brought a couple of multisyllabic theological words so those of you who are enneagram eights would feel like you got your money's worth in church today. I learned these in seminary, and I have sweat and blood in my doctoral programs. So the few long words I remember and I paid so much for, I want to humble brag about. But these actually are really pertinent when we talk about bringing all that we are to all of who God is.

First word is orthodoxy, and orthodoxy comes from a Latin prefix, a Greek sorry prefix. Ortho means right. That's why you go to an orthopedis, because they're going to get your bones right. Ortho means right or correct, and dox refers to beef. Therefore, in the Christian context, and you'll hear orthodoxy as it applies to other things. But in the Christian context, for those of us who who love Jesus or stumbling towards Jesus, it means to have right beliefs

about God. So if you are going to Elevation, if you're a member of Elevation, if you're Epham, if you're online from South Africa, if you believe what's being preached from this from this house every single week, what's being done the bands that our people are coming alongside to bless, then you have probably an orthodox Christian belief system that means your beliefs are grounded in scripture. Second word is orthopraxy. Ortho, of course, is that prefix that means write or correct.

Practice means activity. Actually like practice better than practice because practice refers to your hearts in it, so it's not just duty. So orthopraxy is to have right actions in light of what you believe to be true about God. You still with me orthopraxy, don't take mental field trips yet.

And then there's a third one, ortha pathy. So we've got right and then pathos in Greek refers to feelings or emotions, and y'all, this is where usually Christians have train wrecks, because so many of us, like me, have assumed there's part of what I feel that isn't congruent with what I believe to be true about God. How many of y'all heard a youth pastor when you're growing up, Usually their next were poking out their veins, were poking on their macs. I used to think I had to

scream to be effective. I had a lot of youth pastors that slung their bibles and screamed, and so I started doing that. One time, Genesis fell out of my Bible chunks and hit a woman on the front row. It's wonder I wasn't sued. But I used to think to be effective, I had to scream pathos emotion. How many times have you heard of youth pastors say, please, is not a feeling? Any of y'all heard that? And so I thought, Ah, I got to be careful my feelings.

I can only have, like you know, biblical feelings. I can't have sad. Sad is bad. That's where we have a train rag, because you can't have right beliefs about God and segregate your heart. Yes, faith is not a feeling, but we feel. In Genesis one twenty six and twenty seven, God said I made you in my image. So feelings aren't bad. They just have to be under the canopy of what we believe to be true about God. So to be sad isn't bad as a believer. It is

nothing illegitimate about being sad. Where you go with that sorrow or that grief, or that disappointment, or that anngst or that anxiety, that's where we get illegitimate. But to have feelings or the pathy that's supposed to be congruent orthodoxy or theoproxy how we behave we don't say the things sometimes that are in our head about the Larry Liar pants in our lives, and then ortha pathy, those

have to be congruent. I lost a little weight last year and I have a lot of hanging down parts now which are exciting, and so I was moving rocks in my yard recently, and I thought, you know, I've seen those big people on television who are trying to get in shape of throw tires, and so it would help me to just instead of move these rocks to hurl these rocks. And so I picked up this river rock that I needed to move to that garden. From this garden, I thought, I'm gonna chunk this puppy over

my head. And when I tried to chunk it over my head, I heard this horrible rip and I thought, oh, that that doesn't sound good. And so I waited for a while ago the doctor because I thought, you know, I'm old school. I'm like, oh, take tylernand, don't be a baby. And after you know, a week of talan

on dit coke, I was like, this hurts. And so I went to the doctor and after an MRI, he said, Lisa, I need to know how you did this, because I've been doing a surgery for twenty five years and I've only had one other woman who completely tore her bicep to her rotator cuff and her laborum and in one fell sweep. Only one other woman, and she was a

professional athlete. And he said, so I need to know how you did this, and I said, well, I have these hanging down parts, and so I had to confess I was throwing rocks, and so he had to do this major surgery. And after the major surgery had to drill holes in my humorous because they had to, you know, reattach the bicep and running up through it looks like a toggle bolt. They run up through a hole in your in your bone and then plopping on the other side.

And then one of the nerves got stuck in that bone hole and that was unpleasant. And he said, it's because nothing is aligned right anymore. He said, because your nerves and your muscular structure and your what's left of my muscles, and your joint it's not aligned the way it was. He's said, I'm not real sure what we can do. We can't go back in right now because it's hamburger meat. But he said, we just need everything to be aligned. And when he said that, I thought, oh, golly, jeepers.

That so often has been my walk with God too. I get orthodoxy. I mean, I'm a student, baby, I want to have right beliefs about God. I want to put it on a bumper sticker on my car. Orthopraxy. Well, yeah, I grew up half Baptist, I'm baptocostel. We've got the activity baby, and it rhymes. I mean, I've got an across stick from my behavior orthopathy. Ooh ooh, hard for me to be honest about where I am because I'm

afraid I'll be judged by other believers. And one scroll through social media and you know we're gifted at that. But then, more significantly, I wonder if God will be disappointed in me, if he'll go geez, Louis Lise. I mean, I sent my only begotten son. Wasn't that enough for you? And so I just sometimes feel so guilty if I don't go, no, it's a great day. He's a good God all the time. All the time. When I'm gonna,

I'm not really being honest about it. All the time, I just feel like I feel like there's something wildly wrong with me. And then I go to this love story and I'm so stinking grateful that these saints stumbled. Wouldn't it bug you if they were all perfect and like Keito worked for them and they never ever had seasons where they said, I am stumbling today. They stumbled all the time, y'all. And God didn't kick him to

the curb. He said, I'm actually going to give you more responsibility, because as you begin to understand, self reliance is not a spiritual gift. I can actually trust you with more now that you become more dependent on me. I'm not just your savior, I'm your sustainer. You need me every single moment of every single day. Don't ever cut the cord with Jesus. We need him to breathe, to live, to get up every morning. We've got it wrong in evangelical circles. We think atonement is just for salvation.

No no, no, no, no. Atonement's three hundred and sixty degrees. It's every day today. He's making all things new. Open your Bibles to First Kings. You know this story, so I'm gonna synopsize it. You've got a really, really good guy. He's a prophet. His name is Elijah, and they have this basically a super bowl between the good guys and the bad guys. There's a stinker of a king, and this king kind of says, okay. This is in verse seventeen a First Kings Chapter eighteen, when Ahab he's the

bad king. When Ahab saw Elijah, Ahab said to him, is it you, you troubler of Israel? And he answered, I have not troubled Israel, but you have, you stinker liar, pens of a king and your father's house, because you have abandon the commandments of the Lord and followed the bales. Now, therefore, send and gather all Israel to be at Mount Carmel and the four hundred and fifty prophets of Bail and the four hundred prophets of Astra who eat at Jezebel's table.

So basically, they're going to have this huge showdown between good and evil. And you've got eight hundred and fifty bad guys and you've got one lone faithful guy, Elijah. Most of y'all know this story, if you grew up like me, you've seen at flannel Graft And they meet on this pinnacle called Mount Carmel, and the bad guys called down their gods, little g gods, not real gods, Larry Liar pants gods. And they call them down and they say, come down, show yourself and consume the sacrifices

these bulls we've prepared for you. And nothing happens, to the point that Elijah says, maybe your God needed a restroom break. It's a little more colorful than that in the Hebrew and people say the Bible's boring. I'm like, no, you're lazy. If you'd actually read the these stories, they're unstinkin' believable. Yellowstone's got nothing on scripture and says, then Elijah says, go get some water. They're in a drought. That in itself is a miracle. And they're like, Okay, we don't

know where we're gonna get water. We'll go get water. They go get water, They bring it. They douse all the meat sacrifice, just to make the miracle kind of amplified. And then he says that's not enough water. Go get more water. They get more water. People are like, golly, he really is getting theatrical here. He says, for a

third time in a drought, go get more water. They soak the sacrifice, and then he calls on the name of our God, the One True God, God, the Father God, the Son God, the Holy Spirit, and he comes down and he consumes not just the watery sacrifice, he consumes the boulders that the bulls are on top of. I mean, it's this unstinkin believable bic miracle. I mean it would have been all over ESPN, like every single day would have been a real that never went away. It was epic.

Right after that unbelievable miracle where god Win. I mean, I can't imagine how many worship songs that we would have from that one moment in redemptive history. Right after that, Elijah gets a text from this Houchi queen named Jezebel, and it's in the Bible. I promise. Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done one kings nineteen verse one, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.

Then Jesse sent a messenger to Elijah saying, so may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow, she's talking about the bad guys that were killed. Then Elijah was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to bear Sheeba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there, not gonna camp out there. But y'all, Verse three is so important. He goes with somebody in his sphere, and

then this is a massive mistake. He leaves him there and goes alone. Don't ache alone. Isolation one of the biggest, biggest lies of the enemy. If you are in grief, if you're sad, if you're just wanted, if you're mad right now, if you are secretly shaking your fist at God, don't do that in isolation. Find someone to go. I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm disappointed church it and doing it for mean before I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling. Find someone to go with you. Do not ache in isolation.

Huge mistake. Not that he grieves, not that he's scared. The mistake is he does it alone. But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree that's also called an acacia tree, little bitty spindley tree, like a scrub oak, and he asked that he might die. Y'all, this is on the heels of this massive miracle. People had gotten t shirts Elijah's epic. He's it, he was right, His

God is the one true God, massive revival. And on the heels of that, he says, I don't even want to live anymore. It is enough now, o Lord, take away my life, for I'm no better than my father's. And he lay down and slept under that scrawny tree and behold, an angel touched him and said to him, you are such a loser. We're chasing another prophet. No, no, that's not what the Angel of the Lord did to this great sad man. He said, God wants you to take a nap, but he wants to make sure you

have snacks first. How amazing is a god who doesn't forget snacks? Wow? Incredible is that he doesn't chastise Elijah. Yeah, there's no reprimand he recognizes that we're human and he gives them rest, and he gives them sesstenance. What a good God. Why is it we are so hesitant to bring him our hurts when he envelops us and says, I know we don't get chastised, we get compassion. He's slow to anger, rich in compassion. Please don't be as dumb as me. Please don't wait until you're middle age

to be honest with God. One of the reasons I think the church has lost its efficacy is the watching world sees us pretend and they think we're so sick of pretending. I'm so over holding in my stomach and using a filter, and y'all do it worse than we do. So your God must judge you the way other people judge me. No, he doesn't, No, he doesn't. He sees us through the righteousness of He's holy. Please hear me. I'm not saying he's Santa Claus. He is absolutely holy, transcendent,

the only one who is perfectly transcendent. But he condescends to be close to us. He condescends to say, I want you to take a nap. Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, I'll give you rest. He doesn't say, if you're weary and heavy laden, that you have completely just ruined your testimony. He never won times says that. So you see Elijah in First Kings, and you see that to walk in divine power, which

is what happens after he has snacks and rest. To walk and divine power presupposes a pit revival, pre supposes a time when we get stripped of our self reliance. Weakness presupposes strength, presupposes weakness. Why is it that we always try to hide that. It's because we're trying to be the hero. We aren't the hero, we aren't the answer, we aren't the good news Jesus is we're conduits, y'all. We are conduits, flip over a few pages to Psalm

twenty two. Oh I love Psalm twenty two. We crossed itch Psalm twenty three, and we sing about Psalm twenty three because that's happy clappy and it's super inspirational. But Psalm twenty two the song. Remember all of the songs were originally written as songs so O andngs, so it's like God's Spotify list. And the song that precedes Psalm twenty three, the green Pastures and the steer Still waters

and God is Our Shepherd. It's a blues tune. David wrote both of these songs, and David began Psalm twenty two right before Psalm twenty three. My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me from the words of my groaning? Oh my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night I find no rest. I am poured out like water verse fourteen. And all my bones are out of a joint. My heart is like wax and

has melted within my breast. My strength is dried up like a potterd and my tongue sticks to my jaws. You lay me in the dust of death for dogs encompass me. At least they're not in the freezer. A company of evildoers encircles me. They have pierced my hands and feet. I can count all my bones. They stare and gloat over me. They divide my garments among them. For my clothing, they cast lots. Now, scholars will tell you that Psalm twenty two it is christological and it's prophetic.

This is nine hundred years before the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and it's a play by play of the crucifixion. But don't forget David is just like us. He's a divine condu for God's word. But he's just a man, and he's really really sad, and God says, bring it to me. I love that more of the psalms are sad than perky. Yeah, we've got some amazing victory psalms in there. I love some of the stuff that comes out of this house that just makes me want to dance. I mean, rad

ole goodness, it's gracious. But I also love psalms of lament because I go, that's what I'm feeling today, and that's not incongruent with believing he is a Good God. It's being human and recognizing I'm not Him, and today I can't carry the weight of my own life. Today, I need Jesus to carry me. Two other terms, formal theology and functional theology. Is what we can put in a church mission statement. It's what you can hang on the wall if you go to a formal church. It's

what some of us have recited growing up. The Apostles Creed and I see Creed. Formal theology it's what we can state or write that we believe. It's awesome. I love the Creeds. I think we've thrown the baby out with the bathwater with some of the Creeds. I love the Creeds. Functional theology is how we live, and there's a gap between formal theology, between what we say we believe and functional theology. Why y'all can talk back because

we're human. Because we're human. We're not glorified yet we're in the process of sanctification. So there are seasons when we have a really hard time walking out what we say we believe. In that gap between the two, it's a hotbed for hypocrisy. That's why the world goes you're all a bunch of deep fakers. Because you say you believe this, it's written on your web page. But actually I work with this guy, I work with this woman, and let me tell you what they're like. Monday through Friday.

There's a gap, and there's a gap for all of us. And if you don't acknowledge the gap, if we don't act like our friends in the UK and mind the gap, then you too are Larry layer Pants. There is a gap for all of us. You know what makes the gap wider? Pretense? No, I'm fine, I'm fine. I've got it all together. I've got that gap. Makes the gap just gets bigger when we fake it, when we humbly go. I can't do this by myself. I know the theology. I went to school for theology. I can make the

theology rhyme. But today I feel like I am barely hanging on. Today my heart is like wax. Gap gets mourning. Heartbreak actually narrows. Honest heartbreak when we bring it to the Lord actually nearros the gap between what we say we believe and how we respond to the world around us. Yeah, we need more Christians who say, let me tell you about the God who carried me when I couldn't carry the weight of my own life. That's not being a Debbie Downer. That's telling the world around us that he

actually is who he says he is. If we act like we can do it by ourselves, what are we saying about Jesus. We're saying we don't need him. He is such a good guy. I've become grateful for grief. I don't know any other setting I could say that. In them with brothers and sisters. It's not the perky seasons when I've stayed on Quito and I'm we're in jeans of zippers. Those are not the seasons where I've

needed God the most. The seasons where I've needed God the best have been the seasons where I can just barely breathe without Jesus. Last week, I didn't want to go to church. I sat in the parking lot and I thought, I just don't want to go to church. I don't want to raise my hands. I don't want somebody to say God's good all the time. I'm gonna punch him in the throat. I mean, I do believe that.

I believe He's good all the time. It's just right now my life feels anything but good and I am flipping sad, and he is in heaven and he wouldn't come back if he could, but I'm missing. What do I do with that? I bring it to Jesus because he's close to the broken hearted, and he's near to us, when our lives are crushed near to us, not disappointed with us, near to us, near to us, near to us.

What grief have you been pretending like it doesn't hurt because you don't want to disappoint your small group or you don't think it's very singable. My parents divorced when I was really little, and it was really ugly, very acrimonious divorce with a lot of physical abuse, and so when my dad left us, I just kind of made a vow to my six year old self that I would never cry in front of my mother. She's already been through enough, so I just said that I was

always going to be positive. Didn't have theology to wrap around it. Then I just had trauma. I will never ever ever cry in front of my mom, much less anybody else again. I'm just going to be positive. I'm just going to find the good, find the good, find the good. And I was able to live that way for I don't know. A year and a half and then something happened. I don't remember somebody took my bike,

or another dog died. I don't remember what happened, but there was a deep hurt when I was about eight years old, and I didn't know where to go to cry, and so the only place I could think of where I could be alone and my mom wouldn't see me, was under my bed. And we were really poor, and we had those mattresses. Some of y'all don't even know a mattress used to come from a store, not from online. But they used to have springs, and we were so poor. The springs hung down real low, and so I crawled

under my bed. The springs were right in my face, and I was just crying under my bed. I don't know how long I was under there, five ten minutes, and I hear my mom's voice and she had opened the back door because she was calling me in for dinner and I was usually outside playing. And I heard her say, Lisa, it's time to come in for dinner. And I didn't answer because I thought if I answer, she's going to know I'm under the bed. And then I heard the back door close, and I heard my

mom walk toward where my room was. I don't know how I heard that because we had avocado green shagcar, but you know, you just sense your mom's getting closer. And she stopped in front of my door, and then she said, Lisa, honey, are you under the bed. And I didn't want to say yes because I thought, oh crud. You know, she's going to see him under here crying and it's going to compound her grief, and oh gosh,

what do I do? But she had really instilled honesty in us, so when she asked it the second time, Lisa Hunting, are you under the bed? I said yes, ma'am. And I expected to be chestised, or I expected to really mess up her day. But the next thing that happened is the dust ruffle lifted and there was my mom's face. My mom was a Southern bell. My apple fell pretty far from the tree. It was beautiful. You know, her hair was always done, I always had makeups, wearing pearls.

And I saw her beautiful face and she realized what was happening under the bed, and I will never forget what my mom did next. She just stretched out her adult body and she scooched until she was right next to me under the bed. She didn't say a word, She just got right under the springs, right next to me. I could feel her all the way down my arm our. Bodies were just side by side, and she just laid

under the bed with me. The presence of God doing difficult seasons becomes not just a gift, becomes the cornerstone of our faith because then when we sing I trust in God and He heard and He answered, it doesn't matter if there's a gap in between, because even when there's no words, we recognize presence. I want to ask y'all to stand up. Pastor's going to come wrap up this family meeting in a minute. And I know, y'all, I know that as a very grateful guest, I have

not earned the right to be bossy. I have no authority in this house except what is generously loaned to me by Pastor Holly and Pastor Stephen. And so forgive me if this comes across as bossy. I am older than y'all, So I'll just be your auntie for a moment. If you are in a difficult season for whatever reason, nobody needs to know. Let's the Holy Spirit prompt you

to share that part of your story. If you're in a difficult season, you're sad, you're in grief, you're mad, you're so stinking disappointed because you've done the right thing. You've tithed, and you're leading an Etham group and you're studying God's word, and right now your life has not at all turned out the way you hoped or prayed for. And because you're human, you're just stinking disappointed. You thought I was so so grateful for the presence of God.

You're in that miscarriage. Surely this pregnancy will come to fruition, Surely there will be another baby, and instead you had an emotional miscarriage, and you think, I can't do it anymore. I know he's a good guy, but I just don't know how to wait until he answers again. Will you please sit down? If that's where you are today, just today, that's where you are. You're in a hard place. You feel like you're walking through wet and you're trying to keep your head up and you're trying to keep the

smile on. But if you were in a safe place, you'd go I'm just tired and I don't know if I can carry the weight of my own wife well anymore. Will you just sit down? There's no shame in that. Actually, the fail is going to get thinner for you today if you honestly bring your heartbreak to the God who loves us more than we can ask or imagine. Just sit down. If you're in a hard place, there's some people over here who like me, you've been raised thinking.

You can't let your guard down. If it's hard for you to season, please sit down. This is a safe, safe family to say I need somebody to pick up a corner of my mind and carry me to the roof and lower me to Jesus. If you have the gift the privilege of standing by one of those saints who's sitting down right now, let's actually do church. Let's not just talk about it. Let's be a community. I had a woman recently say Lisa, I pray for you

every Tuesday at nine o'clock. And my first thought was, Man, I'm so grateful somebody besides my mom prays for me on a regular basis. You know what My second thought was, what if I'm struggling on Wednesday? Let's not just put each other in our prayer journals. Let's pray right now. So those of y'all who have the gift of standing by one of these beautiful saints, one of these godly men, one of these brothers or sisters, would you just lay

a hand on them. That's not a denominational thing, that's not an elevation tradition, that's a biblical thing. Just put your hand on their shoulders so they can feel the physical presence of somebody who loves Jesus, somebody who's not judging them, somebody who's not going to rip them later on social media, but somebody who goes. I know I've been there. He carried me too. And would you pray for each other? Those of you who are comfortable praying out loud, please do so. You don't have to pray

anything fancy. You can actually just reiterate God's promise in Psalm thirty four. I am close to the broken hearted. I'm near to those whose lives feel crushed. This low point in your life, if you bring it to a Lord will lead you to a place of intimacy, a place of personal revival you probably haven't had the faith to carry quite yet. Lowering your pretense in the family of God. Yell, it makes for a safer family of God,

those of you who are grieving. If the Holy Spirit confirms this, would you be audacious enough to even right now say thank you God. I'm gonna choose to be grateful for this grief. I can't see around the corner of my circumstances yet, but I really do believe you'll answer, and I really do believe you're enough, and I really do believe you're close to the broken hearted. So I'm gonna choose right now to say I'm gonna say thank you.

I don't feel it yet, but I'm gonna say thank you for this grief because somehow, some way, You're going to use even this diad dog of a season to make me more dependent on you, to make me lean into my brothers and sisters more closely. You're going to build in me a heart of flesh instead of allowing me to hide my heart of stone. Oh, King Jesus, come and bring revival. King Jesus, come and bring me healing. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you God, that we can trust in you. We can trust in you, and you

will answer. Help us in the no answer or Jesus, help us to keep our hands raised even when our hearts are broken, and trust that your presence never leaves us, even de're in the know. Answer kind of chapters. We love you, we need you. We cannot make it by ourselves. Jesus, you are a good God. You are a good God. Thank you that you define yourself as a man of sorrows. Thank you that you tell us you were prepared for the cross through pain. Thank you that you are not

a stranger to hard seasons. Thank you that you are an empathetic high priest who says, bring it all, bring it all, bring it all to me. Don't just bring me the happy clappy parts, bring everything. I want to sit with you in every season, every moment of every season. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you God for your closeness. Thank you that your proximity has nothing to do with

our performance, certainly not our pretense. Teach us what it is to be honest before you got and then honest with the people you allow us to rupt shoulders with. We love you, We love you, We love you, we love you, We need you.

tag us at Elevation Church. Thanks again for listening. God bless you.