Today's episode is a special one and it's because I asked a lot of my clients . I said hey , what are some regrets that you have about your retirement ? They go what do you mean ? I go well , you retired now and there's a decision to retire now . Was that financial , was that emotional ? What are you going through so far ? The fact that you are retired ?
A lot of people want to retire early , just like you . What are some things you wish you would have done ? Some of them said there's really not that much . Others said you know what ? Well , I really wish I would have done some of these things differently .
And if you could pass this along to your listeners in any capacity , if I can help anyone else feel more confident about an early retirement , I'd be happy to share that . So they shared that with me and I get to come on and tell all of you guys about it . So I'm going to go through some of those regrets today so that you can go . Yeah , you know what .
I'm going to think a little differently about my retirement . And if I'm five , 10 years out from retirement , here's what I'm going to start thinking through now . Or if you're one year out from retirement , here's what you're going to do to prepare for that next year .
So I want to make sure that all of you are listening and are getting complete value from the show . I am going to go over a recent review of the week and then we're going to hop right in . So this one comes from Jake84296 . Ari covers topics that help me think what is needed to possibly retire early .
Each week he has a great new topic of things that I would not have considered myself , which is why I listened to the show . Thank you , ari , for helping me consider all these things . I would not have considered to retire early successfully . You're very welcome . That's why I love doing the show . In my opinion , my job is not to say do all these things .
It's say , hey , here are things to consider , here are things to not worry about . This is head trash . Here are some perspectives you may just have not have heard because you haven't retired yet . So really , these are regrets from my clients . Everyone's got a unique story and I actually want to bring more of them onto the show .
I've had other clients come on the show and hopefully you found those have been helpful . I want to do more of that . So what I'm going to do is start with a client story and then you're going to get the logic behind it . So I asked one of my clients , hey , what's the main regret ?
And their first thing that they said was I just wish I didn't work so hard unnecessarily , meaning they were working so hard and we were talking about it at length and they went Ari , please , like I didn't really feel this until and they were trying to tell me like , hey , you need to focus on this as well .
Like there's always going to be more emails , there's always going to be more tasks , there's always going to be more duties . I stayed in a job too long because I was scared to tell my boss that I could quit because financially I was in a good spot . But I just I got a sense .
I wasn't 100% sure that my boss wasn't in a good spot , so I wanted to almost stick it out for my boss , even though it was taking a burden on me . Now , I didn't even know my client to that degree , but they were really sharing some in-depth details and we were talking about it and a lot of you know the book Atomic Habits .
But James Clear is the author and he says , hey , I really like , what are you optimizing for ? He's bringing that up as a theme throughout the book because it's really easy to over optimize and I know personally I oftentimes really love what I do , so much so that my partner Alice goes hey , are we still on track for date night ?
Because we do date nights every Thursday and my clients are telling me , yeah , I want to retire to redate my spouse , and I wish I didn't wait to redate them . I wish I kind of kept it going .
And sometimes it's really tough because we've got kids , so we've got other things moving around and I've got my job , and it's just , I don't get back too late , and so some of these things you can only do so much , but other times you really can go . You know , what Am I really optimizing for ? What my ideal life looks like ?
Not my bosses and this is what my client was sharing , which is they were really living their kind of bosses life , but not even in a traditional sense . They were simply going hey , I'm working because I like it , but really no , you know what Is I really think about it .
I'm doing this so that my boss isn't overburdened , because I see what they're going through and I almost feel guilty that I'm in a financial spot to retire and I think they might not be . So they said , hey , I just wish I didn't work so hard during these years and put in some of those extra hours .
I have another client who was like , hey , I'm really glad I did , but I'm glad I did it upfront so I could focus on family time during my late 40s , early 50s , and so want to make sure that there's not a right or wrong to this . It's just . You know , if I were to ask you like , what are you optimizing for ? What does your perfect day look like ?
Some of you go . You know I can't even answer that question because it's been so long since I've even debated that and I get a Saturday or a Sunday and all I am doing is thinking back on . You know what I have to do on Sunday , on Monday excuse me or on Tuesday , and the concept that every day I wouldn't have to do that like I can't comprehend that .
Other people go . You know what ? Yep , I understand there's going to be more projects and emails . I need to start thinking through this . This is the tough work . Adding more money to your 401k and your IRA and implementing Roth conversions yeah , important stuff . But that's all irrelevant if your taxes and finance are optimized and your life isn't .
So I don't know if you're anything like me , but what I find is , all of a sudden , it kind of goes through ebbs and flows where , hey , I'm doing really well , and then maybe you're more stressed out and then less , and then that routine starts to kind of go away .
So let's assume and maybe none of you do this , but I know personally , I do this as well where I'm in a really good routine , I'm working out often , I'm really enjoying it , and then all of a sudden I go yeah , I'm going to kind of absolutely focus on getting all my medical appointments in order that I know I need to do , and then a month goes by , and
then another month goes by and then I don't get to that and I'm going , hey , this is not the way to live , like I , health over everything . And if you have all the money in the world but you don't have a body that allows you to do all these things , well then , what good is that so ? Really , why are you working so hard ?
What is your pursuit of financial independence for ? Is it to get away from your boss ? Is it to go ? You know what ? Nope , I'm actually pursuing financial independence because I want to do what I want to do . For the first time , I never put myself first Why'd you buy the car that you bought ? Why'd you buy the home that you bought ?
Now , some of those things might be very clear Made sense , family decision I like this car . Was it to impress people you don't really care about ? And then finding that identity . You've built up this identity . It's really hard to change from that . So all of that , to summarize , this one client said hey , ari , I just wish I didn't work so hard unnecessarily .
The next client I spoke to this was a big one , I'd say definitely one of the larger ones where they said hey , I wish I personally had stayed in touch with my friends . I felt embarrassed to do so . It can vary .
Often for a lot of you , you're going hey , I'm not even worried about this at all , I'm gonna retire , I've got my family , I'm good to go , my community , let's do this .
But a large majority of you are gonna retire and you're not gonna stay in touch with your coworkers , maybe because you feel bad reaching out to them , knowing that you're retired and they're still working . Or you're just saying , oh my gosh , I just kind of don't know the appropriate way to do this .
So you don't contact them at all and then that community aspect starts to fall and you might go , try to find other communities and it might just not be the same as your work and so you're gonna kind of miss that portion . So really realizing the benefits of having friends .
There's that show , the Blue Zone , on Netflix , where they talk about happiness and how to actually have fulfillment in retirement and it's not someone's equity allocation that does that . That helps them live their dream life . But so many people get kind of caught up in the you know kind of the head trash of should I reach out ?
Should I wait for them to reach out ? I don't wanna make it awkward and then you just never reach out and then that sense of community goes away .
I know I personally have a lot of college friends and I speak with clients that go , yep , there's one or two friends I've kept in touch with , but yep , I see them if we have a mutual friends wedding , or I see them if they post their child on Facebook and we'll chat about it . And for some of you that's enough .
For others of you you're gonna really miss it . And so making sure you do have a plan for community . This is what this particular client . This particular client was single . They don't want their identity shared , but they were single .
They don't have any children and they're going once I retire , like I don't love my job but I'm gonna miss the community because I have some coworkers that I really like , but that doesn't outweigh the fact that I don't enjoy my job .
So I retired anyways , but I just wish I would have thought through that differently and not had worried about the awkwardness of their financial situation , which led me to not reach out to them . So that was number two . And then finally , number three I wish I had let myself be happier . It does sound cliche , but happiness is a choice .
I'm not an expert at this by any means . One of the videos I really like that comes from Sinmyer Sinmyer . We work very closely with Sin . She helps craft a lot of our retirement lifestyle coaching and practice along those lines . She does amazing work talking about how to actually create happiness and fulfillment and purpose and it is a decision .
So really , if I ask you , hey , what makes you happy ? You might go well , I want to be with my child . Say great . How often do you get to do that ? You go . Well , saturdays and some Sundays I go . How often is it just you and child time ? And then you'll go . Yeah , you know what ?
Not that often because , like , we're with family or it's a group setting and I go . How often would you want it to be just one on one time ? You go , well , you know , two , three times a week ideally , but that's just not realistic . We go what if it was ?
And then so it's going down that line because oftentimes and I know a lot of you will recognize this with your spouse or your partner or whoever it is , you're going to be able to go .
Yeah , you know , that was a really fun experience and it's because we got to share it just one on one , and so that level of connection it's not the same if you're in a family group setting . I know personally with my partner , it's really fun being with her family , we're laughing a lot , but it's not that same connection .
And so when you're thinking about happiness or what's causing you to be unhappy , is it hey , I just wish I was paid more . This isn't fair and you could be upset about that or you could say you know what I'm in a good financial position . Yes , maybe I do deserve more , but that's . I'm not going to anchor myself to this number that I feel like I deserve .
Instead , I'm going to see that I'm in a fine financial position and maybe I'm going to look for jobs that are actively going to pay me what I feel I'm worth , or I'm going to consider doing something on my own , or I'm going to consider , hey , you know what , what if I and this is a real story for my client the person that said , hey , I wish I'd let
myself be happier , it was financial related . And they said , hey , I was only making and for some , people are going to hear this and go , hey , that's very fair wage , but they were only making about $175,000 a year , 190,000 all in with bonuses and they felt that as an engineer , they deserved a whole lot more . So they've got that engineer data brain .
They just felt it was not fair for the work they were doing and they were upset and during our meetings I would see that he'd be visibly upset and I'd ask him why .
He said , well , other engineers are making more than me and it just feels like it's not fair and I don't know what I need to do and my boss isn't being kind of respective of hearing my concerns and so he's like I really feel like I should quit .
So for like years he felt this instance to quit and then all of a sudden he was laid off and really quickly I said well , and this was years ago . But I said , hey , what would you do now If you could take any job ?
And he says I would take my job back and I would take it at half pay , meaning I just turns out , yes , I was kind of complaining about the pain , all these things , but while I was complaining I really wasn't considering the fact that I really enjoyed the community aspect and so kind of point number two is community .
Point number three here is I wish I let myself be happier . There's always going to be things at your workforce that are not going to be fun . The politics can be awful and sometimes that can outweigh all the other stuff , unlike this person who reached out , became a client and I see he visibly upset in these meetings and all of a sudden now he was going .
You know what , I'm happy to take my job back at half pay when I was just upset before and he said well , I know everyone else got cut in pay and so I just I knew it wasn't I'm going to be , you know , laid off and all my coworkers get to stay on .
In his mind he was going well , I would feel better , and this is took some deep therapy on his part . He went to therapy because he was like I really just hated the idea that someone right next to me was making a whole Lot more but I was doing the same thing . I said , hey , I'd be equally frustrated .
Here's kind of why you're in a good spot , why , although that's happening , this is okay , here are your options . You take another job . It pays a whole lot less . We explored those . He really loved the community , so there were some things that ticked him the wrong way at his employer . At the same time he's like , hey , I really did love the flexibility .
They did give me some more hours . If I took a roll over here and wouldn't be 190 all in it would have been closer to 200 , but my hours commute and overall , like happiness level would have decreased . That that 10000 wouldn't have been worth it . So a lot of clients are saying , hey , you know what ? I just wish I would have let myself be happier .
I wish I stayed in touch with my friends . I wish I didn't work so hard unnecessarily . None of this should make you do something or not do something . These are just stories I want to tell you from real clients that are retiring early going . Hey I . If you could tell your clients anything yes , I do .
After separate episodes on , I wish I didn't buy the annuity or I wish I would have implemented this conversion earlier , but the real stuff that's gonna make you feel like you had a really good earlier retirement is this stuff here , which is much more difficult to think about because the finances .
Let us kind of go out of our brain for a second , go yep , let's talk about the numbers , and then we have to come back to real life and go okay , what do I really want ? So a quicker episode , quicker podcast .
I want to make these as helpful as I possibly can , but sometimes I'll ask my client these questions and I just want to share their responses with you . So hopefully this is helpful .
If so , I know I don't get to work with all of you Please do drop a comment on YouTube or leave a review on iTunes if this has been helpful for you at any sense and if this made you think 1% differently about your retirement , shoot me an email at ariai at root , financial partners , calm . I love getting to hear from all of you .
So thank you , guys , love you . Thank you for listening to another episode of the early retirement show . If you have a question that you want answered in a future episode , you can always go to my website , early retirement podcast Com .
That's early retirement Podcast , calm , and you can go ahead and submit a question that I'll look to answer in a future episode . Thank you all for listening . Please do rate it , review it and share it with someone who you think would benefit from this information .
If there's anyone out there that you know , I certainly appreciate it and I will see you all each week . Hey guys , it's me again . Please be smart about this . Nothing in this podcast should be construed as financial , tax or legal advice . Consult with your tax preparer or financial advisor before taking any action . This podcast is for informational purposes only .
You