Nine Ways To Increase A Man's Libido

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So that's of interest to you, and you want to learn the six steps to marital satisfaction. Be sure to come to my website, click on marriage retreats, and I'll look forward to seeing you there today. I'm gonna talk about nine ways to increase a man's libido. Now the majority of marriages a man has the higher libido, and the woman has the lower libido. However, from my experience, and from what I've read, roughly 10 to 20% of marriages have a role reversal where the female has the higher libido and the man has the lower libido. And this could be really difficult for both partners, because in those types of marriages, the woman can feel really bad about herself because of the stereotype that men constant want sex. So therefore, if her husband doesn't want, have sex with her or isn't interested, she takes a personal understandably and feels very undesirable. This also could be hard for the man with a low libido because of the same stereotype that men are supposed to be constant wanting sex. So the man with a low libido could feel like there's something wrong with him so he can feel inadequate and not like a man. So this is a tricky dynamic when this is current in your relationship. But I know it's current for a lot of you because of several, several of you have asked me to do a podcast on this topic. So here ago. So nine ways to increase a man's libido The first step men, is to meet with a doctor to check if you have low testosterone. Now, testosterone tends to drop after your twenties by about 1% per year, so there's a natural decry. Decrease in testosterone as you age in sex drive is connected to testosterone, so the higher the disaster on the higher your sex drive. And because men tend to have a high level testosterone, they tend to have high sex drives. However, that's not always the case. So if you're a man, listen to this and you have low libido. First round first step is to meet with your doctor to check and see if you have abnormally low levels of testosterone for your age. Second step to consider men is to better your physical health. The healthier you are physically, the higher your libido will become, so that includes exercise of the more lean muscle tissue you have, The higher low libido will become, the better you eat. The better nutritious food you eat, the better your diet, the higher your libido will be, the more rested you are, the better your libido will be, and the less at least amount of stress that you have. The less stress that you have in your life, the better your libido will be. So all those elements of physical health are going to increase your libido, so that's a one angle to consider. It says number two number three is relational barriers. So if you have resentment towards your wife that you haven't resolved, if you have hidden hurts or hidden offenses that haven't been fully talked about, process through and healed, there might be an emotional barrier to you with why you don't want to have sex. That's something to explore with your wife, or perhaps with the individual counselor or with a marriage counselor. But if you have some hidden barriers emotionally between you and your wife because of previous hurts or offenses that might be blocking your libido, that might be why you don't desire her sexually, because you need to work through that emotional trauma first before you're going to start desire ing her sexually again. So that maybe something you didn't want to look into the fourth is performance anxiety. So some men, especially men who have lower libidos can have performance anxiety, cause perhaps at some point in their development, they had erectile dysfunction or they had premature ejaculation. And so now they've started to associate sexual activity with anxiety. So they get nervous, they get anxious, they have performance anxiety, and that creates a vicious cycle because the more anxious they are, the more likely they're gonna have erectile dysfunction. So now they feel Dunmore anxious, and now they start avoiding sex. So anything that's unpleasant, we tend to avoid it. And if sex has become a negative for you because of performance anxiety than that, maybe something to focus on. I knew a couple one time, and the woman had the higher sex drive in any time she knew her husband was about ready to orgasm, she would say, No, no, no, no. And she'd get upset in This poor guy got so anxious around their sexual activity that loan behold, he developed performance anxiety in erectile dysfunction, and then he started avoiding all sex altogether. So if you have some performance anxiety, you might want to talk this through with your wife and what could lower your anxiety? One tip is to focus more on clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. The majority of women don't drive much pleasure anyway from intercourse, because they're not enough clitoral stimulation. So consider rethinking what sex looks like. Consider rethinking your approach to sex. Perhaps the new approach should be focused more on clitoral stimulation so aural sects to your wife and manually stimulating her clitoral area and her vulva and pleasure in her that way. So just because you may not be able to get an erection, for example, doesn't mean you can't still enjoy sexual activity. And by focusing on pleasuring your wife, that takes off the pressure to perform, and they often will create enough relaxation for you to perform. So that's one thing to consider. Is focus more on clitoral stimulation round than penetration? The fifth idea to consider is you may need to elevate the importance of sex, so if you have a low libido, sex is probably not in your mind. You don't think about it. It's not a priority. But you may need to reconsider that, because just because you're not thinking about sex or desire ing, it does not mean it's not vitally important for your marriage. Because sex is a central component of a healthy marriage, it's the glue often that will keep a couple together. It's supposed to be the culmination of your love and also creates love. And when you're having intercourse and when your orgasm and when you're touching the skin on skin, it's releasing oxytocin in your brain, which is the bonding chemical. So we're wired to enjoy one another intimately in marriage because it keeps us bonded. So if you have a low libido, you may need to rethink how important sex is an elevate the value of it for the overall health of your marriage. Number six is you're not gonna probably feel any arousal until after foreplay begins. Not before. So this is a trap. So say your wife is aroused and she wants to have some sexual activity. But you think to yourself I'm not aroused and so I can't or I won't. I don't want to engage. So if you have a low libido, most likely you're not gonna feel any arousal until after foreplay begins. Not before, so you can't base your openness to sexual activity on if you're aroused because you have a low libido most likely you're not gonna be aroused. However, you should base it on and my open to getting aroused and my open to starting to engage sexually and my open to sexual contact. Because if I'm open to that, even if I don't feel arousal initially, there's a good chance I could start feeling arousal. So don't base your decision on if you're gonna be sexually active on if you feel arousal, because it will probably never be there. So instead, based on base it on, if you're open to start feeling it after foreplay begins Number seven. How could your wife possibly be sexier to arouse you? That's one thing to consider. Sometimes you may desire your wife to dress a little more sexually or to flirt a little more sexually, or to do things that are a little more erotic in the bedroom, things that will turn you on or start your motor revving. That's one thing to consider. Is what types of modifications or changes would you love for your wife to make. That would make things more enticing for you, and that could kick start your libido. So that's a conversation to have with your wife if there's any topics like that that she could d'oh, that would make you more sexually attracted and drawn and excited to engage with her. Number eight is consider scheduling sex when a couple has roughly even sex drives. They don't need to schedule sex because they're equally thinking about it or not thinking about it. However, that's very rare. Most marriages. There's a high libido in a low libido, so that creates issues because the high libido person is thinking about sex. Once sex, the low libido person is the last thing on their mind. The solution a lot of times is to schedule sex because if you schedule sex, you're both on the same page because, you know, Wednesdays at noon we're gonna have our nooner on Hump Day. And so you're both at the same starting line. So the highly Beato person can anticipate Wednesdays at noon hypothetically, so it gives them a sense of anticipation in control in a in a topic that they usually feel like they have no control and the low libido partner, it gives them a chance to get ready. So for men, if you have that low libido and you know you're gonna have sex on Wednesday with your wife. That gives you a chance to start prime ing the pump, so to speak, to start thinking sexually about your wife. Perhaps you need taken extra nap or go for a run or whatever you need to do to clear yourself to get ready. So you are. They're at the same moment that she is, and you're both of the same starting line at the same time. That's the benefit of scheduling sex. Number nine is. If you are looking at pornography, you need to have eliminated. If you have a low libido and you're looking at porn, most likely that's your sexual outlet. And that is not being a helpful or contributing or one in one out partner. If you're there looking at porn and that is your sexual outlet and then you have no sexual desire for your wife, that is not healthy. And that's not right. So you need to consider weaning off porn if you're looking at pornography so that the sexual energy you have is directed towards your wife, not towards images on a screen. Nothing is happening with chronic porn users is the level of stimulation is so high in porn that when they stop looking at porn in transition over and try to have sex with a real person or a woman, it's almost impossible to because the level stimulations so much lower. So a lot of chronic porn users are reporting erectile dysfunction. For that reason, because a real woman can't compete with this barrage of images online that are highly stimulating, there's no comparison. So you need a wean off porn, if that's you, so that you can become more sensitized to your wife into her naked body into her eroticism, so that that is exciting for you. But if you're looking at porn and that's where your sexual outlet is or you're looking at chronic porn, you're gonna automatically feel less libido in your marriage. So those air nine ways to increase a man's libido number one. Meet with a doctor to check if you have low T testosterone number to increase your physical health through exercise diet, rest and lowering your stress number three to consider if you have any relational barriers, wounds or hurts or offenses you need to work through with your wife. Four. Consider if you have performance anxiety, and one solution is to make your focus more clitoral stimulation rather than penetration focused. Number five is you may need to elevate the value and importance of sex. Number six. Consider engaging sexually because you're not gonna feel aroused until after foreplay begins, not before number seven. Consider how your wife could dress sexier or be sexier, or how the sexual encounters could be more erotic. That would naturally increase your desire. Number eight. Consider scheduling sex and number nine. Consider eliminating porn so all of your sexual energy is going towards your wife. Thank you for listening to the mayor stuff. Podcast. If you enjoyed the episode today, please subscribe. Quick the five stars and leave a review for more marriage. Resource is go to my website dr Wyatt fisher dot com. That's D R W Y a T f i s h e r dot com and follow me. Face facebook dot com for a slash Dr Wyatt Fisher or an Instagram at Dr Wyatt Fisher. Also, if this podcast made a positive impact on your relationship or if you'd like to give me suggestions on other topics that should cover, I would love to hear from you. My email is info at dr white fisher dot com. And remember, your marriage is alive. If you care for it, it will thrive. And if you don't, it will die. The choice is up to you. Take care.