Even when we can not control our global systems gone wrong, we can be the cause of healing individual which will then allow us to help ourselves and thus evolve other people. By self correcting, and looking in the truth mirror, we can begin to focus on identifying childhood wounds that have shadowed over us and have created us to break down. It is only through our individual healing that we can be the cause of making a difference globally. I invite everyone instead of identifying only with being...
Oct 23, 2020•58 min
In order to keep the focus off the narcissistic abusive person, they will blame shift on to you. This is a great way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their abusive behavior and induce you to question yourself. The best way you can prevent yourself from falling victim to their "tricks" is to psycho educate yourself about this narcissistic system as a terrible system gone wrong that affects families multi-generational and across cultures. Sibling rivalry is an unfortunate common fallout...
Oct 02, 2020•1 hr
Guilting and shaming are ways to control and manipulate and divert the attention away from the narcissist victim. One way the narcissist will do this is by offering up fake apology that people buy into, that often times lead people into feeling they did something wrong. instead of vice versa. Genuine apologies include a sincere effort to make things right, "I am sorry" is just not enough. Taking the time to make people whole is understanding. Once buttons have been deactivated to healing, people...
Sep 25, 2020•1 hr 1 min
Parents have to earn the right to be honored. If they provide you with the emotional and physical nutrients to help you thrive, they deserve to be honored. If they are abusive, neglectful, and unemphatic, don't feel bad about not honoring them. Honor them to the level that you feel is right for you, there are no right answers and in some cases, light connect, no connect, and low connect is appreciate. The most important thing is to process the anger and resentment that you have been holding in t...
Sep 18, 2020•55 min
In these trying times, it is best to concentrate on being the light rather than fighting the darkness. We have splintered off and fractured our humanity and now it is time for use to heal individually to heal globally. It does not take much, yielding in traffic, showing empathy to others that are tired or lonely or hungry. Lets work on ourselves individual to bring it to others and to use our curse by designs as to way to teach others how to overcome what we have worked hard to overcome for ours...
Sep 11, 2020•59 min
Aug 28, 2020•1 hr
Enablers of bad behaviors often times come from families that normalize bad behavior. When we are in a toxic environment we sometimes don't know we are in this toxic environment. Part of getting conscious and stopping this enabling behavior is identifying the blueprint that sets us up for tolerating it. It is important as a first attempt to direct our attention towards the behavior as oppose to the person. As I say to my patients, don't drop the person, drop the problem, but if the person wont d...
Aug 21, 2020•1 hr 3 min
When your primary caregivers do not create safety and secure attachment, it lays a foundation for a system gone wrong. Parents that enroll their children in becoming parentified adult children will associate love with being smothered and controlled and can easy become love avoidant. Children who have been emotionally abandoned are more prone to become love addicts. Toxic bonds are formed when in the first few months and years of life. In order to avoid the repetition principle of selecting relat...
Aug 14, 2020•1 hr 2 min
In order for us to heal globally, we must heal individually. When we are in the consciousness of selfishness and apathy, we can not create synergy and global healing. Apathy is created when parents put their own needs before the needs of their children. It is a system gone wrong. This system gone wrong creates narcissistic injuries and psychopathic breakdowns. we need to realize that we are all interconnected and we are all responsible to heal ourselves, so that we can positively impact others a...
Aug 07, 2020•56 min
There is a difference between healthy entitlement and unhealthy entitlement. When children get their needs met, and feel OK about asking for their needs, they grow up in an environment of healthy entitlement. When children grow up either spoiled or deprived, they end up getting their needs met by controlling and empowering over others through aggressive or passive aggressive needs. Unhealthy entitlement is the same as unhealthy narcissism versus healthy narcissism. When our needs are meet early ...
Jul 24, 2020•1 hr 1 min
Anything can reopen a narcissistic childhood wound; a sight, a smell, a dirty look, or name calling. When old wounds are reopening, negative core beliefs, such as: I am not lovable, I am stupid, I don't matter, I'm powerless, is reactivated. Unless we get to the root cause of the problem and dismantle the lies of these negative core beliefs, we can not truly heal at the causal level. Once we face these childhood wounds, we can reprocess the feelings and paradigm shift out of the darkness
Jul 17, 2020•59 min
An act of omission is usually what a parent doesn't do for the child. An act of commission is what a parent does do for a child. The commission in this case is physical abuse, and emotional abuse. People fail to recognize that just cause acts of omission do not leave bruises, that there are not scares. Often time the bruise is internal and sometimes gets internalized and creates self destruction in the person. When there is an enlightened witness who can be a truth light to the victim, they can ...
Jul 10, 2020•1 hr
Jul 02, 2020•1 hr 12 min
The demise of narcissism is based on healing. When we are healed we no longer want to play the game. A victim or preparator. Other peoples pain is no longer a gain and perceptually addicted to pain is no longer needed. Toxic bonds are not easy to break, telling people to just get over it and move on is the antithesis of being their enlightened witness. The physical or emotional abuse is painful enough, what is more painful is when society and the people around you deny your reality or minimize i...
Jun 26, 2020•1 hr 3 min
Some of us look grown up, but inside we are not. Developmental arrest can occur as a result of childhood wounds/trauma. When we don't have healthy parenting and healthy dependence, it is impossible to mature and develop, separate, individuate, and become strong and autonomous. Emotional immaturity creates chaos because internally the person feels dis-regulated and chaotic. resorting to defense mechanisms like, alcohol, drugs, and overeating, not only don't help, they actual hurt the development ...
Jun 19, 2020•1 hr 1 min
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Jun 12, 2020•54 min
When we are wounded on a micro level, these wounds express on a macro scale. The reverse of that is true. When we treat each other with human indignity, we create paranoia, angry, and when our voices are not heard to, attuned to, and empathized with; we tend to up the ante into projections and explosions. When we find pathways to healing and connection and mirror each other, we are the light that heals human and global disconnect. Be the light.
Jun 05, 2020•1 hr 3 min
Trust develops in the first few months or years of life. We are lucky enough to primary caregivers who are emphatic, nurturing, and attuned to our feelings, we will develop a sense of trust in ourselves and in the world. When we are wounded in childhood, trust is broken and we can either withdraw or continue to repeat bad patterns of trusting people who hurt and betray us. Once trust is broken, it is very hard to repair. Sometime we just have to pull back and self reflect and self correct on our...
May 29, 2020•1 hr 2 min
Sometime people choose ineffectual therapists because they are repeating dysfunctional relationships from their family origin. After all, a therapeutic relationship is a relationship and if you have had a poor pattern of choosing dysfunctional relationships in general, please do your research before you choose your healer. A good therapist should a be a good fit for you, someone you feel comfortable with. A good therapist has a system that is clearly spelled out before you get involved with the ...
May 22, 2020•1 hr 3 min
In order to be vulnerable to narcissist abuse, we must be groomed to need outside validation. When are primary care givers attune to our emotional needs and leave us wanting for mirroring and attunement, we become desperate for this experience. When we lack good boundaries, people can penetrate our emotional walls in order to use and manipulate our need to feel important and be loved. In order to heal from this level of abuse and prevent ourselves from giving over our dreams, minds, and heart to...
May 15, 2020•58 min
Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies." -Nelson Mandala. When we trade, it is natural to feel resentment and to have revenge fantasies of that person. IN those times it is important to have an enlightened witness to talk to so that they can act. The ABC's in resentment play out when for example: three people are friends and one friend betrays another, the betrayed persons finds out that their friend is still friends with the betrayal. This is very painful and is...
May 08, 2020•1 hr 1 min
Covid-19 is real. People are coming down with the virus and some are getting dreadfully ill and even dying. This is the time where we are easily triggered and because of this external threat we fill even more threatened internal as well. The paranoia and the feelings of hopefuls are just some symptoms that many are experiencing. It is normal given the circumstances. What we need at this time is to extend love and empathy to others. This can come in any form, from shopping for a neighbor, to chec...
May 01, 2020•57 min
We are all in this together. This is the time to increase our level of empathy and self reflect and self correct so that we can be bigger givers to others. This is the time to we will wish that we took more advantage of the time . I invite you all to take advantage of learning the mind map so that you can have better peace within and share that peace with others. During this time it is important to not act on our impulses and to source people that are experts in the fields of health and medicine...
Apr 24, 2020•1 hr 3 min
Being quarantined at this time is challenging enough. When you are quarantining with people that are reacting your negative core beliefs. As the challenge to all of you, I suggest that you use this time to self reflect and self correct and work on dismantling the effects of your childhood wounds on your beliefs. You can do that through the mind map video series and we are always here to help at the Psychological Healing Center. Unhealed wounds are particularly activated at this time and it is im...
Apr 03, 2020•57 min
As we go through this pandemic, it is important to realize that we are all interconnected and they we have a profound effect each other. Now is a good time to dial down the amygdala by healing our childhood wounds and being more tolerant of others who are short on emotional bandwidth. use this time to self care and to connect with each other. Remember that human connection heals while apathy brings us disease and de-ease.
Mar 27, 2020•1 hr 4 min
At a time where we have to isolate, I challenge everyone to connect through kind words and deeds. Sometime we need to take the time to regroup and heal as we globally go into our isolationism. We can use this as a time for self reflection, self correction, and emotional connection to others. Emotional connection is available even when we can not physically be near each other. Please understand that everyone is on edge and the amygdala or the emotional brain is working overtime. Now would be the ...
Mar 20, 2020•56 min
Not everyone who is passive aggressive is narcissistic. The passive aggressive behavior can be a defense mechanism or it could be a way to demean, devalue, and destroy other people. It can make them feel gas lite and crazy, empowering over them behind their back. Silent treatment is a common of being passive aggressive. These people lack communication skills and do not know how to resolve conflict. This shame based personality type will resort to covert means to gain power and control at the exp...
Mar 13, 2020•1 hr 4 min
People who are most vulnerable to Ponzi schemes and other rip off schemes are people who have been validate in early life. Rather than protecting children, some families use their own children to fulfill their needs. They may even use their children to help build a corporate business and even use their college funds to bail them out of jail as in the case of "Robert", our call in guest. These boundary violations groom people to feel that these violations are not only OK but will get them the psy...
Mar 06, 2020•1 hr 2 min
Overt narcissism is much more obvious. There is an air of flamboyance. A way of being in the world were they grandiose themselves and act as if they are better than everyone else even if this is unearned. Narcissistic defense seemingly protect against childhood wounds, ultimately leaving family and friendships destroys. Most people suffering from this disorder will not seek treatment because they do not want to go there because they do not want to go into their wounds of childhood which they ave...
Feb 28, 2020•1 hr 2 min
The covert narcissistic is in some sense more dangerous because you do not seem them coming. They act as if they care, they act as if they are committed, they act as if they love you, but they have been so injured that they have been left apathetic. As they age they may act out or may also act out by replacing their significant other and toss them aside in exchange for a better supply. The "better" might be more beautiful, richer, more gullible, and more relatable. They don't tend to stick aroun...
Feb 21, 2020•1 hr
