¶ Guard Your Heart
Hey . Welcome to doing life with Ken .
And Tabitha ,
we are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like huge . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups , and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . Hey , everybody . What's up ?
And welcome to doing life with Ken and Tabula . We are so pumped to have you guys be a part of our podcast . And we got a good one for you today . Today , we wanna talk to you about the hard work of hard work . Mhmm . And at the end , you gotta stay around for the end . Because we're gonna give you three ways to protect your heart today's podcast .
It's gonna be everything . Yes .
It's gonna be good . It really Yes . And if you're new to our podcast , welcome . We're so excited that you're here with us . You know , we're always praying that God will send people to this podcast that can be blessed by it . We don't think you're here by an accident . We're so glad that you can join us .
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Yeah . You know , our podcast is first and foremost a marriage podcast and a relationship podcast . But it is not just that . It is really a personal growth podcast . So regardless of your relationship status , whether you are single ready to mingle or married or married with kids .
Our hope is to help you grow closer to god and closer to the people that god has placed in your life . And we believe today is gonna be exactly what somebody needs to hear . We wanna talk to you today about the hard work of hard work . Let me say it again . The hard work of hard work .
And I wanna start with the scripture , and I want you to just kinda jump in and just tell me what you get out of this . Proverbs chapter four verse twenty three . It says above all else , guard your heart for everything that you do flows from it . Mhmm .
Above all else , garden heart for for every above all else , guard your heart for everything you do flows from it . What sticks out to
¶ Guarding Your Heart and Soul
you from there ?
I think really two things . Number one is that you have to be intention about intentional about guarding your heart . Yeah . It's like , what does that look like ? What do you mean ? What do you mean ? Guard your heart . But then number two , for out of it flows the issues of life . What does it say ? Everything flows from this ?
Yeah . Well , one translation says out of it flows the issues of flowing Uh-huh . This translation that I I read said everything you do
flow through . Everything you do starts here in the heart . Yeah . So if my heart is sad Yeah . It's going to affect everything around me . If my heart is bitter Mhmm . It's going to affect everything around me . And so I don't know if that's what sticks out to me . It's like , whoa , this is way more important than what it sees , what meets the up .
Yeah . For me , you really gotta identify what the heart is . Mhmm . And so when the the bible speaks of the heart , it's talking about the center of your existence . Mhmm . It's talking about your spirit man . It's talking about the center of who you are . So we're three part in makeup just like God is God the father , son , and holy spirit .
We are spirit , soul , and body . And the spirit part of us is the real part of us . It is the center of who we are .
Mhmm .
And so we have to the bible says above all else . That means that it's a huge priority . And there are so many different things that we can focus on , but above all of those other things . Guard your heart .
Mhmm .
Because everything that you do in life is gonna come from the place of , like , having it pure heart . And so anything else ?
Yeah . You know , and the heart is a big deal . Now , you know , I'm sort of a health nerd . So I read all kinds of articles and things like that on the body . I just love how god made the body . Yeah . And so I read a few articles a while ago about the importance of the heart and how there is a place The article was some type of science article .
But anyway , they they said that surgeons know that there is a place in the heart that you can't touch that place in the heart because if you touch that place , they the person will automatically die .
So there's this protected place in the heart , And so there are some theologians and things like that that argue that this may be the place that , you know , that the spirit rests or this may be the most important place of the heart that , you know , where God speaks and all of that .
But then also there's science now that says that , you know , we think like the brain is like like , you know , you can't your brain is the most important thing . Mhmm . Well , there's science that says that your heart actually thinks more than what your brain does . That there are more the heart speaks to the brain , more than the brain speaks to the heart .
Scientifically , isn't there more nerves that go from the heart to the brain or something like that ?
Yeah . Yeah . And and I it's been a long time , and I I don't know the the proper way to say it scientifically , but that's the basic premise . And so when the Bible says , like , as a man thinks in his heart , so is he and when the Bible says , the guard your heart and so everything comes from the heart , you begin to look at it like , wow .
This is like this is on another level . Seriously .
Has there been any times in your life where you've had a hard time guarding your heart ? Or have had problems with , you know , with your heart or times like , man , you know , my heart's not right . I need to get my heart right .
Yeah . I think anytime that I've been hurt anytime I felt like , you know , I've been betrayed or lost trust in someone . I think those are times where you have to guard your heart . Mhmm . But then honestly , like , something that I'm working on right now , and this seems dumb . But , like , you you better guard your heart .
Like , even in traffic and and getting angry in traffic and stuff like that .
Expect you to say that .
I'm like , well , no .
Oh , god . This is a miracle .
It's something that I'm working on and I'm working on it and the kids know . Right ? Because I I drive them to and from school every day . And , actually , Kenny is always in the passenger seat with us . And , actually , on my way here today , I was just like , you see there driving crazy .
And I started to talk about the crazy driving of these crazy drive drivers . And Kenny says , well , you know , it's better if you just don't say anything at all . Because when you start talking about it , then you get really upset .
Come on . Because I'll be thinking the same thing , but you always have something to say about other people's child .
No . But
you're driving as well . It's like people could say things about you .
The the pot should not call the kennel black .
Yeah . Yeah . I think you're I can figure you're starting
to get forwards you .
But what I'm
saying But anyway , what I'm saying is that that's a heart issue . There's something in my heart whenever I get on the road . I'm like , is it pride that I feel like how dare you cut me off to Who do you think you like , is it pride ? Is it , like , just selfishness ? I just wanna have it my way .
Like , I don't know what it is that's going on in my heart .
Okay .
When I hit a road . Okay . But I wanna figure it out .
Hey . Every head bowed , every eye closed because we're gonna pray for top of the right now . But I sense breakthrough on the horizon Thank you , Laura . God is doing something . He's up to something good .
Stop it .
And so , you know , there's a lot of people who are watching and viewing and We're not watching and viewing , watching and listening . And there's all kinds of hard things that we can deal with . Bitterness Yeah . Unforgiveness , comparison , anger hatred Mhmm . To jump in . Jump in . Jealously envy . Lust perversion .
You basically
You got anymore .
Now you've basically said it .
But all of those are coming from the heart . So when the scripture says , guards are hard above all else , it's basically telling us that we gotta do the hard work of hard work . And so for me , you know , I got a lot of goals in life . There's a lot of things that I wanna accomplish , but one of my main goals is is that I wanna have a pure heart .
Mhmm . You know ? I might not know everything might not be the best at what I do , but I can I can do something about my heart ? I wanna have a pure heart . The people that I I love in the bible the most are people like David . Mhmm . David was a man after God's own heart .
Absolutely . Oh ,
when God thinks of me , I want him to think Ken is a a man after my heart , you know . And David wasn't a perfect man .
Right .
But he will still a pure heart at
me . Right .
And so I don't know for me one of my major goals , I'm a hope for those of you all who are watching , is that you will be the kind of person that wants to have a clean heart , a pure heart and clean hands . A pure heart and clean hands . Clean hands and a pure heart . Mhmm .
And so I just feel like we live in a day and time that God is gonna promote those who can just keep their heart right . In an election year with all kinds of everybody has their opinion and philosophy . There's so much debate and anger . I believe that God is promoting those who can just have pure heart .
Absolutely , you know . And speaking of David , yeah , David was not a perfect person , but David was quick to repent because his heart was soft toward God . And the Bible says that , you know , not man , we can't look We can only look on the outer part of a person . Only god can look and see our hearts .
And so it makes sense that that's the most important , like , gauge your heart . Man can't see it . Nobody else knows your intentions . Nobody else knows what's going on in there . You can dress it up to everyone else . But God sees . And I preach this to my kids all the time . Only you you you only I only I talked to them about the audience of one . Mhmm .
Only entertaining for an audience of one and that's God .
Yeah .
And so I think it's just really good .
Yeah . But I think that doing the hard work is hard work . Some people won't do hard work of the hard work because it's so hard . Yeah . And so for us , we consistently I'm gonna go to counseling . For us , we're consistently trying to live a life that's self aware , where am I really . We're always listening to podcasts .
We're always getting into the Word of God . We're asking those who are people that we'd look to for
any accountability .
Accountability to help us because I wanna do the hard work of hard work . I think there's a lot of people that they get married And basically , there are two messy people that's gotten married . Mhmm . It's almost like they are two people and , you know , people say , well , I wanna find my better half . Yeah .
Well , that's how marriage is suck because it's two halves coming together .
Yeah .
If you're I think the best way to correct your marriage or to have a better marriage is to be a great single before you get married . The best thing that you can do to have a great marriage is to be a great single .
Mhmm .
And if you're a great single person who is whole and focused and unique and integral and loves Jesus , when you're not a half of a person that you have all of this mess , but you've actually grown in God to where now when you meet somebody , there's two holes coming together , instead of two halves coming together .
What I mean by that is that a lot of married people are suffering in the relationship right now because they just got too much junk in the trunk . They have not done the hard work of heartburn .
Absolutely .
I know of people that are just ready to leave their relationship . And , really , there's for no apparent reason , they just they're not into it any longer they thought that they made a mistake . They wished that they thought that maybe they married the wrong person . And really , they don't have a revelation of faithfulness . They don't have a revelation of covenant .
They don't have a relationship that when you get married , marriage equals work . Meaning that if it was defined , it should be called work . And they're just not willing to do the hard work . Mhmm . But here's my thing . We've been creative for hard things . Yeah . And if it's in our life , we can take it . His grace is sufficient .
We have to roll up our sleeves . And say just because it's hard , doesn't mean that I run from it . I'm gonna run two hard things . I've been graced for hard things .
You know , sometimes we get married for the wrong reasons . Not for what we can do for this person , but for what they can do for us . Right . And I'll speak for myself when we got married , you know , Ken made me happy . Ken gave me piece . Ken gave me security , but , you know , that is only gonna last for a little bit .
I had to do the hard work of the hard work to say okay , I'm not happy anymore . But then what happens is we point that finger to the other person . I'm not happy and it's his fault . I don't have peace and it's his fault . I don't have security and it's their fault . Yeah .
But really , it's not we have to go back to the heart and say why am I feeling like this ? Yes . Why have you have to feel those voids with God , not the other not another person . So
So it says above all else , garage your heart for out of it , everything you do flows from it , or out of the heart flows the issues of life . And so if we were to just stop for a moment and do a self introspection of our life , everything that we have in our life Mhmm .
That we don't want or let's just say most things or let's just say many things Yeah . That we have in our life that we don't want . Could it be a product of where our heart is ? Mhmm . If that's the case , if we change our hearts , we can change our situation . So let's start working on the ground of our hearts .
Let's make sure that we guard our hearts above all else .
¶ The Importance of Heart and Repentance
Here's a few scriptures . Tell me what you get out of this one . Jeremiah seventeen and nine , it says the human heart is the most deceitful of all things . And it's desperately wicked who really knows how bad it is .
Yikes . That blows my mind coming from a society where we say , we just follow your heart . Right . You know , whatever you feel in your heart , what is your heart telling you ? My heart's telling me to go punch them in the face right now . That's what my heart is deleting .
People say you can't help who you love . We say you better help who you love . Absolutely . You know , because your heart can't you can't give yourself everything that your heart wants Mhmm . Because the bible says that your heart is most deceitful of all things and it's desperately wicked .
When you think about a child , a two year old .
Right .
That baby does whatever its heart wants to do .
That's not me .
Me . Me . Me . Me . Me . Me .
I don't know who I wake in the middle of the night . I don't care about your sleep patterns . I don't care what time you gotta go to work . I want my bottle . I wanna be fed . I need to be changed right here right now .
So it's a complete contradiction to what most of us have believed about our heart .
Yeah . Yeah . And so we can't follow our heart things because our heart are deceitfully wicked , but that's why we all need to get born again Mhmm . Because when you accept Jesus as the Lord of your life , Jesus , the power that rose Jesus from the dead , it now steps into your spirit Mhmm . That is disconnected from God .
Because of man's sinfulness and god holiness , and the power of the resurrection is not this just that Jesus got it from the grave on the third day . Is that when you accept Jesus , he steps into your heart and he brings your dead spirit back to life again .
And so
now you get to hear from God . Now you get the sense , the presence of God . Now you have the peace of God and the voice of God . And that's why eight billion people around the world , we all need Jesus . So that he can give us a new heart . He replaces that old wicked heart . He takes that away , and he gives us a heart , a flesh , and a faith . Man .
Proverbs twenty one two , check this one out . It says every way of a man is right in his own eyes , but the Lord weighs the heart . What sticks out to you .
I think that I think we've already talked about that a little bit . But , yes , sometimes you just feel justified and right in what you're doing , but that doesn't mean that God thinks that it's right . Right . And it goes back to the word of God . How do we know the will of God ? Because we know the word of God .
So we go to the word of God to find out . Do I have the right attitude toward this ? How should I be doing this ? You know , am I living my life according to principles ? And and you know what God says ? And I think that's how we know if our heart is right , not because our mom said it was right or our best friend said that it was right Mhmm .
We hold it up against God's word .
Mhmm . You know , there are so many people nowadays that would rather change the bible than let the bible change that .
Yeah .
And one of the most dangerous things that we can do as believers is to kinda succumb to secular culture to where we don't believe God's word is what he says that it is . Mhmm . You know , God's word is truth . Its life is the lamp to our feet , the light to our past .
Mhmm .
It is living and breathing . Every other book that we read as a dead book with dead words , but the Word of God is alive . The Bible says , it's active and sharper than a two edged sword . It cuts . Down to the divining of spirit and soul . It it it it is your one offensive weapon that you have as a believer .
So Satan's main strategy now and days is that calls us to be so smart we get done . We're so smart with history that we cannot prove because we did not live there , but some YouTube channel , we watched a book that we read that would kinda come in and try to contradict the word of God or who Jesus is .
What he wants to do is get us to distrust the Bible . If he can get us to distrust the Bible or discredit the Bible , Satan takes away the one offensive weapon you have , which is the sword of the spirit , which is the word of god .
Of god .
The word of god is what cuts the devil . It will cut depression off of your life . It will cut addictions out of your life . It will restore marriages . We see the dead are raised by the Word of God . He watches for his word to perform it , men shall not live by bread alone , but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God .
It has always been the Word . Jesus was the man at station of the word . He was the word made flesh and the beginning was the word . The word was with god and the word was god . So the word the only way you love God is that you love his word , and the only way you know God is that you know his word . Here's the challenge . Yeah .
We live in a day and time where people would rather uplift their opinions in their feeling over the word of God . Mhmm . And what the Bible is saying here is that every way of a man is right in his own eyes . But the Lord weighs the heart . Every way of a man is right . Like , I'm okay . I can do whatever I wanna do . It's my body . It's my choice .
It's how I feel . It's what I think and it's never been about that . Not for the believer . It can be like that for those who are not believers because God is not the God of their life yet . Okay ? Mhmm . But for us who understand that Jesus is not just savior , he's lord , we submit ourself to his words . Because we cannot trust ourselves .
So here's what I've realized . That my way is wrong . Mhmm . His way is right . Yeah . Doesn't matter what I think about something . I'm not gonna use I'm not gonna take my opinion to change the bible . I'm gonna let the bible change my opinion because the lord weighs my heart .
And then when he looks at my heart , I want him to see a heart that's lined up , submitted to his word .
Yeah . I think that , and I'm reminded , that's what takes me back to David to King David day God said that he had the heart of God , but he did so many wrongs , you know . But how did he have the heart of God if he did so much wrong ?
Yeah .
Because even when he did wrong , he was quick to repent and he was quick to say , oh , my way is wrong . Yeah . Your way is right lord . And I think we are like that today . We can do and we're gonna do wrong . We're gonna do dumb stuff . Say dumb things . Right . But as long as we're quick to repent and say , oh , my way is wrong .
Lord , your way is right .
Yeah . You know , I was just with one of my overseers at a conference . And he was talking about king saw Mhmm . Who was the first king of Israel . And there came a time where the bible says that God repented that he made saw king . And he asked me the question before he was ministering .
He says , why do you think that God who knows everything repented for anointing , soulless king ? And he says , here's the reason because he got repented because Saul never repented . Mhmm . Meaning that Saul messed up got into pride , he wanted to destroy , I'm David , you know , so many things like that . Mhmm .
And because he did not repent , it caused God to repent . Mhmm . David , on the other hand , is known after a man after God's own heart . And we his name , there's a city of David , We all still love David . David was an adulterer , and David was a murderer . Mhmm .
He had an an adulterer's affair with bathsheba then putting your honor , her husband , on the front line of fire , had him kill . But when we think about David , we think a man after god's own heart , a person that we can learn some things from , not all things , but some things why .
Well , the reason that we uplift David and we don't talk much about saw is simply because even though David was a mess , he repented up his mess and he got it right . Saul was a mess and actually he was probably less messy than David but Sol didn't repent . And because Sol didn't repent , it caused God to repent .
The point of the story is this , is that we don't wanna live the kind of lives . Where God has put us in the office , favored us , and promoted us that later on , he will repent because our hearts are not right . Mhmm . This is the importance of having the right kind of heart .
Absolutely .
Deliver repented life .
And I think , you know , sometimes , you know , especially if you're new to the faith and you're you're new to being a believer . Mhmm . Sometimes you don't understand , like , what it means to cause god to repent . Okay . But , you know , like , if we have parents , you know what I mean ? Like , we have kids , things like that .
Like , I don't wanna do anything to cause my mother or father to repent . Like , to hurt their feelings , to make them feel like man , that hurt my heart that my child did that . You know what I mean ? We have three kids and we are teaching them and we're pouring our life into them . Yeah .
We are giving everything to them , and we want them to do the right things . And it hurt , you know , it would hurt us if they would just do something that directly disobeyed us or took them out of the will of God for their lives . Now that's , you know , our earthly relationship with our parents . But God is the same way . He's our heavenly father .
And he didn't just give birth to us . He created us . He breathed life into us . And I think that now when we think that for god to repent , it's like we can hurt him . We can wound him . We can make him appointed in us . And I personally I don't wanna do that to my daddy . Yeah . My heavenly father . I don't wanna do that .
I'll give you another angle that ankle is very good . My my other ankle would be that repent would be that God wished that he would just wouldn't have done something . And I I I don't know if your kids , if you're ever like , man , I just wish I wouldn't have given them that that that video game . Or man , I wish I wouldn't let them play football . Yeah .
Or , man , I wish I would have never had those kids . I mean ,
that's that's extreme , but my goodness .
But , no , there's some people out there that knows what I'm talking about , man . I wish if they're having so much trouble with a kid , man , I wish I wouldn't have had that kid . Can you think of how bad that kid has to be or how much trouble they have to cause Mhmm . To cause the one that gave birth to them on the download .
They won't say it out loud , but somebody knows what I'm talking about . Man , I wish I wouldn't even have that kid . That's what it's like when we live outside the will of God . That I don't wanna live a life where God , my father , my maker , is like man , wish I would have gave his gifting to somebody else . Mhmm . I wish I wouldn't have called him .
I wish he wouldn't even been born . He's done more bad and good . I gave him so many I lay before him life and death of blessings and curses before whatever reason . He's using the gift to framework freemorals that I the free more the free will that I've given him Yeah . To use that against me
¶ Kings of Israel and Religious Compromise
. And I just or , you know , God just took me through a journey where I was reading through chronicles . And I read first Chronicles , second Chronicles , and I come through the book of Israel . And I was just amazed to look at all these kings Mhmm . From Israel . That when they did bad they got bad .
And when they did good , they got good , but they couldn't get it through their thick head Mhmm . To just live for God . Yeah . And it was , like , out of listening , twenty king .
Yeah .
There was , like , two of them that lived good and , like , maybe two of them that lived , like , where the bible says they were halfhearted .
Uh-huh .
Or they were , like , you know , like
Big war .
Yeah . They were kinda like they would try to do what was right most of the time , but sometimes messed up . The rest of them , like , fifty like , the the majority of them that the Bible says that they committed the sins of their father .
Yeah .
They they they were wicked . They they , you know , they were they allowed the Babylonian culture I don't think they had even went into Babylon yet , but what I'm saying , they just allowed the world's culture to affect them in such a negative way . I don't want that to be my heart . And I know I'm speaking to somebody here . Yeah . And you know what ?
We live in a day and time where the strings of your heart is being pulled in so many directions . Mhmm . Compromise is the norm . I'm not just talking about secularly . I'm talking about people that are in leadership . I'm talking about those of you all who are in ministry right now .
Those of you all who've been safe for twenty and thirty years , compromise has now become the norm . Matter of fact , when you find someone who doesn't compromise , it's almost like there there's I can feel this sometime even with us . We don't know if we might be invited to this camp or that camp because our integrity is here Mhmm . And our holiness is here .
Mhmm . And I don't wanna come to a little green room party . I don't wanna come to to certain little unintegrable things . That's just not my flow . I was doing that when I was nineteen years old . I'm not impressed .
I'm not impressed . I'm not
impressed by your drunkenness . I'm not impressed by your your profanity . I'm not impressed . By your crude jokes . I'm not impressed by that . And it's not because I think I'm all that . It's because I know where I used to be and I know who I am now . Mhmm . And since I've been delivered from who I used to be , there's no way that I wanna go back there .
It's just like the dog returning to his vomit .
Yeah .
That's really gross , but look , I've been there done that . I'm not trying to go back there .
But I'm telling you the social pressure just to kind of succumb to that which is norm . And don't be don't be don't be , oh , it's okay . It's not a big deal . God forgive us . I mean , we're under grace . I just feel like as a believer , I'm just gonna have higher standards . Mhmm .
I'm not gonna have legalism , but I'm gonna use my grace filled liberty to live a life that is beyond reproach .
A life that is blameless , a life that is on another level , a life where I carry an anointing , a life where angels can be in our home and not fill out a place , a life where I travel and you don't have to worry about when I'm watching on TV and my hotel by myself , a life where I travel and and , you know , people come up and talk to me and I'm not
looking at somebody else , wondering if I can get them back to the hotel room . I wanna live a life that if heaven is playing my unsupervised arenas on a big screen in heaven , that all heaven is applauding the way that I live when nobody else is around . Yeah . That has to do with the heart . Yeah .
And I wanna raise up more men and women of God have that kind of heart . I'm not living for the audience of nobody else . I don't need anybody's platform . God's giving me my own . I wanna live so he can say , well done too . Yeah .
And it's about pleasing the father . Yeah . For me to think of the smile on my heavenly father's place , you know , my dad died when I was six years old , But I remember my relationship with him , and I was like daddy's girl . He was , you know , tall , a boxer really strong . He carried me around on his shoulders wherever he was . So he was , like , six too .
So there I am up on , you know , way high above everyone . I was just like the queen of the world Yeah . On top of my daddy's shoulder and I would see the smile on his face . But if I would like him that , you know , some people didn't grow up with a father . But I take that and I liken that to my heavenly father Yeah .
The smile that I would see on his face when he looks down and like , you know what ? Tabitha's doing it .
Yeah .
Tabitha's getting her heart right . I see her in traffic right now , but I see your trying to get it right too . Yeah . Come on , girl . You got this . You can do this . Yeah . So I just it it it is . It's a heart issue . Mhmm .
And you are this is one of the reasons why I'm attracted to you is one of the reasons why when we didn't get it , like , when we first met in high in college , I wasn't even saved yet , but I could see your heart . And I could see your integrity . Like , you wanted to do the right thing .
And And I was messy . Yeah . And I was messing stuff up . And that's where Grace comes in ?
Absolutely . It's like , you know , you're you're you're not perfect .
Yeah .
But I saw that your I saw that your heart was right . And then even I there's a book that I'm encouraging you to write and finish , but you wrote a book a while ago called Beyond the Grey . Yeah . And but you just kinda put it on the shelf . I don't think it was the right timing .
But I love that about you is just , you know , we talk about often about how you can live life in the gray , or you can live life beyond the gray . So the gray is what ? The gray is like that . I don't know . It might be right . It might not say this .
So let me go ahead and do it . Mhmm . You know , everybody else is doing it . It's not really sin . But does it lead the sin ? It's permissible , but is it wise ? Yeah . Too many people are living beyond the gray . And we gotta get beyond the gray Yeah . Beyond the gray . Beyond the questionable air .
If you stay out of the gray , will you stay out of trouble ? Yeah . But once you start to get in the gray , where how do you know when you cross the line between , okay , I'm in the gray , but now it's all the way over . I'm just all in it right now .
Yeah .
And how did I get here ? Because first , I tiptoed over into the gray . You know ?
We're the right is an identifier of where your heart is . And if Satan can get you with just look , what is it ? It says it's the little fox .
The small foxes that
or the vibe . It's just a little thing . It's just a it's it's a little wrong movie here . It's it's just a little conversation that you shouldn't have had here . It's just a little bit somebody slot into your d m's , but you didn't you didn't stop it here . It's just a little conversation with somebody that you're not married to here .
It's a little it's a it's not the it's the first simple one . It's it's that now it's one to two glasses . Now it's one to three glasses . That's one to four . It's just
a little air . Digitizing , you know , the more you do , the more desensitized you become .
Not that big a deal , but it's leading to a big a deal . You're getting set up . And there's a scripture that says that sin lies at the door . Mhmm . What that means
So Sure .
Sin is just waiting for the right time that pounce on you . And when you know who you really are
Mhmm .
You see the thing about the gray areas , is that you gotta come to the place where you don't need them . Like I don't give a care about alcohol , drinking , cigar , smoking , gambling , I don't care about any of that . Like , I don't need any of that .
I got so much joy and so much fulfillment out of just the the god's green earth , like skiing , like going to the beach , like enjoying my family , like cracking jokes , like having fun , like dancing till the sun comes up without all of the substances . I mean , so what happens is that you start to look at certain things don't know .
Just jump in with me , baby . I'm sorry . I got lost in what I was saying . I was thinking about the sun . As I think about the beach and all the things you get to enjoy .
I started it . I started because I got you going on talking about the gray and living a life beyond the gray , and you were just talking about , like , those you have to draw boundaries and we talk about guarding the heart . That's that's okay . There's boundaries . Am I going to live in the gray ? Let's just say there's there's white and black . Right ?
You got gray in between . If if black is the perfect will of god Right . And white is the exact opposite Mhmm . Well , I wanna stay in the black . Right ?
Yeah .
Once I start to get over into the gray Mhmm . It's going to It's going in the wrong direction .
It's not sin yet . Mhmm . But it's the wrong direction .
Right .
It's not sin . That's why you you know , so what I was saying is that sin lies at door . Mhmm . And so and that's what people don't understand . It's just waiting for the to Mhmm . It's just the little things like that . And you can actually so let me give them this . Three ways to protect your heart .
Because I think that that's what will help people with a life that's beyond the grace . Yeah . Beyond the grace coming . I feel it coming . It's coming back . It's coming back . It's coming back . If you want beyond the grace , please let us know . It's we gotta write it . We gotta get it out there . Mhmm .
Because I just think it's a it's a it's a perspective on Kingdom Living . That needs to be promoted for the time that we live in . Like a lot of people don't think it's possible . Yeah . You know , I remember when you first when I first came to you , this is over twenty years ago , I said , sweetheart , I wanna drink no more .
Because back in the day , I was a social drinker , and she was more of come from an addictive back around .
I was
So I came to her , and I was like , so I I started going to a church , and I asked my pastor , I said , hey , I drank wine here and there , and I have a glass here and there . And I said , what do you think ? And he says , well , you're not gonna go to hell for drinking wine .
And it was a joke and and , you know , I was in a class and people started laughing . But after that , he says , well , I don't drink . And he says the reason is it's because proverbs thirty one says that kings and princes sustained from strong drink . He says , I view myself as a king . I guess it just depends on how you view yourself .
And at twenty three years old as a social drinker , as a person who will go to different states , about say , not special brew , blueberry strawberry , and then sell it out of my trunk , and a person who would be a nice clubs and do different things and marry to someone that I will come home and she would be passed out around my toilet .
I made a decision for my family . I just said , I don't need it . If you mister Managot , you seem successful . You seem like things are working well for you . You don't drink . And I view myself as king as well . I'm new to the faith , but I view myself as a king . I'm happy to say that I've been sober now for twenty three years . Okay ?
And Why was I sharing that story ? Help me out .
You I don't remember .
That's so good .
You're talking about the book . Beyond the gray Yeah . And how so many people need to hear that today .
Yeah .
And I don't know . I think it was just going on how some of those decisions that we make are difficult decisions . Like , you made that . You came to me and said
I remember . So I I'm sorry . Go ahead . I came to you and
said You came to me and said , Bay ,
you
know , and I remember our marriage just wasn't really there yet , you know . We're still hanging on here by a red . And you said , well , I think that , you know , we shouldn't drink anymore .
Right .
Because I was with you when you asked that question and I was embarrassed . And then I was mad and wanting to fight because when you asked questions . There were , like , forty other people in the room , and they were all , like , ugh . Like , how dare he asked that question ? And I was , like , what ? Why not ?
Why can't don't be you know , I was I was ready to fight anyway . When you I was there when you asked the question , but when you came home and told me , like , you don't think we should drink anymore , I was like , well , how what are we gonna do for fun ?
That's what that's
How are we going to be happy ? Like , what do you mean ? What are we gonna do on our anniversaries on holidays ? And , like , are we gonna do ? Like , I was sneaking alcohol . Like , I
just check act like she had never heard that you don't have to
I just could not fathom .
She could not fathom that we will go a birthday without drinking or go through new years without drinking .
We might we might not have had food in our cabinet when I was growing up in the projects But if you open up the pantry or like there was this little furnace room , there was beer stacked from the floor to the ceiling cases of alcohol . So I just didn't I just couldn't find what it was like .
Weird off . I mean , it she it was like she could not even You know , and that's what , when you start talking about living holiness , living holy and beyond the gray , and today's society , It's almost like you're speaking Chinese and they're speaking English .
But it
goes It's almost like a different language . It's like are you kidding me ? You're telling me that I could live that way . Yeah . There's better ways that you could sleep .
Because you've never heard about it or just because you don't understand if God's word says it , if you'll open your heart to it Yeah . And be receptive to it , then you can do it . So even though , like , I couldn't fathom fathom it , but I was just like , okay , babe . Well , I'll try it .
And my attitude toward God was is just like , okay Lord , if it's possible , show me how . Well , that's a hard Help me do it .
That's a hard thing . That's a hard thing .
And that feels awesome . It's just , like , okay . Just If it's so , let us let us What you
were saying in your heart was that is I'm gonna follow him as he follows Christ . And what I said in my heart was that I'm gonna follow my pastor . As he follows .
Well , also , I'm like , look , we met in the night club . Yeah . And you had a drink in your hand . And I'm like , okay . Well , if he can do it , well then okay , I'll watch you do it . And if you do it , I'll do it too .
Listen . She better be glad that I made that decision because she would probably have right now .
She You a year . Right ?
Because the truth is that her personality is addictive . Yeah . Whether it be chocolate , whether it be food , social I'm of a social kind of guy . Just got I just need a little white rush and just take the edge off of it a little bit . I got my drinks of choice . I got the I got , you know , a little roman coke on sex on the dates . Yeah .
I got a little drinks going on . You know what I'm saying ? But I'm happy to say that we found that you can live beyond the gray . And we've been sober now both of us for twenty three years . You better give God praise right now . Because it is a miracle for this one here . Alright ?
Can you imagine the fights that we haven't gotten in because we weren't buzzed ?
Can you imagine the women that I haven't tried though ? Flirt with because I wasn't sober minded , the mistakes that I haven't made , because I wasn't
help us .
And the amount of brain cells that we've been able to save because alcohol does kill your brain .
Me and my brain sales .
Anyway , let's get off of that . Somebody needed that . Three ways to protect your heart . Number one , don't be afraid of the hard work . Okay ? Instead , you gotta embrace it . If your cholesterol is high , you have to go do the hard work of eating differently and changing your taste palette . Mhmm .
You cannot just stop by every fast food establishment , you're gonna have to start the meal prep , and you're gonna have to do the hard work if you wanna get out of debt . You gotta do the hard work . Listen , you're gonna have to live beneath your means . You're gonna have to say no today so that you can say yes tomorrow . Know today , but not forever .
That's the style . That's one of the phrases that we live by , but you're gonna have to be willing to do the hard work . If you're gonna have a pure heart , you're gonna have to do the hard work of the hard work . The things that other people say , oh , that's too much . Oh , you're too spiritual oh , it don't take all that .
It literally sometimes takes more than that . Okay . Do have to embrace the hard work . Mhmm .
Yeah . I think sometimes we think that because it's our heart we we we kinda like , oh , well , if you feel like that , then maybe you shouldn't or , okay , if it's that hard for you , maybe you should do this and we give people preaches , and we make excuses for people . We baby people .
Yeah .
But that keeps them in their situation .
Yeah .
That doesn't make anything better . But I think that you gotta know , like , when I had to fight to overcome depression and anxiety and fear , I it hurt . I cried . I cried tears for weeks in months Mhmm . For giving the person who abused me . That hurt me to my soul Mhmm . To everything .
I had to go through therapy and visit my childhood and re read talk talk about the events that happened in my childhood that hurt me so much . That was painful and it hurt . And some people be like , oh , it hurts too much . Just leave them alone .
Not gonna you know , we're not gonna do that , but that will keep you depressed , that will keep you bound , that will keep you sad and fearful . But when you do the hard work , that's where you can break the chains and set yourself free . And so I just encourage people to do the hard work . It is worth it . Yeah .
The more tears the better the freedom you're gonna have .
Yeah . Number two , if you wanna protect your heart , you gotta increase the sacred and decrease the secular . Mhmm . Alright ? Let me flip it around . You gotta decrease the secular and increase the sacred .
Okay .
Because what goes into your heart is gonna affect what's coming out of your life . It's input output kind of scenario what you sow . You're also gonna reap if you sow . To that which is spirit , you reap life and peace if you sow . To that which has flashed your reap death and destruction .
And so I just was in the UK not too long ago , and I was doing a young adult conference there in the UK . And , you know , I was so excited to go just because I've been hearing the sounds of revival .
I've been hearing it from prophets that I really respect you know , the UK and Great Britain and England has went through a very dark age spiritually , you know , got very religious on us and the movement of the holy spirit had been . Not as much as what it could be .
And so but I've been hearing it prophesied that revival's coming to the UK , revival's coming to Great Britain , revival's coming to England . And so I I wanted to go out there and be a part of the conference to see it in man .
It it was true that was such a hunger that was there , that was like this this desire to , this this this joy and this purehearted desire to go into the deeper things of god . But anyway , I was preaching the last night of this conference , and I was talking about a little bit what we've talked about already Mhmm . Living beyond the grain .
I don't know why I keep talking about this . It just must be time .
There it is .
I was talking about holiness Mhmm . And not living a life that's secular , you know . And I'm and I'm talking about what we just talked about . I said something like , you know what ? I don't need to go to a happy hour to get drunk . I'm drunk in the spirit right now . Twenty four seven three sixty five . I'm drunk right now . And I said it on purpose .
Classic escalator . The classic that there was a pub on every corner . Actually , right beside the church , there was a a brewery and there was probably three thousand kegs right beside the church . And when I said , you don't have to go to a happy hour to get happy , I came in happy right now because I'm drunk in the spirit . Mhmm .
When I said that , these young people who are in a very secular society that's come through a spiritual dark time Mhmm . Jumped to their feet and was like , I never heard nothing like that before . The joy of the Lord fail in the meeting . I didn't ask them to come to the front .
Young people ran to the front and started dancing under Jubilee and Celebration , drunk in the spirit out of the joy of the Lord , doing the dozy doe hand in hand I have pictures of of people climbing over the scenes . And then after we danced and shouted , and God gave us a prophetic song . He was like , we got that joke . Joe I mean , we've got that joke .
It was just we we're making this stuff up under the the the the empowerment of the holy spirit . After that , I gave them an opportunity to receive the baptism of the holy spirit and probably two , three hundred of them received the baptism of the holy spirit with their initial evidence of praying in the spirit .
And I just believe when you increase the sacred and decrease the secular , god's gonna honor it . And so one of the ways you do that is that you gotta guard your irrigate and your eye gate because it affects what's in your heart . If you're gonna increase the sacred , you need to listen to more preaching of the word of God , more worship music .
You need to decrease more rated r , mature TV content , stuff that you know is filled with perversion , violence , death , mayham , sexual perversion , all of the things that are evil we live in a day where that's normal to digest .
Yeah .
And it is not normal for your spirit . Mhmm . If you wanna pure heart , you have to guard . I'm not giving you a law . I'm giving you a principle . You have to guard . What you are listening to and what you are watching because what you hear and what you see will affect what you believe .
And you cannot guard your heart above all else if you just let everybody who is Antichrist , minister through songs and it's not about the beat of the song , but it is about the words .
That's right .
And if you were to break down some words of some very popular artists , you will see that it's filled with perversion antichrist , a a terminology , gender confusion , sexual perversion , all kinds of different things . And we gotta know what's for us and what's not
for us .
I don't give a care . How many Grammies you win . I don't care how many Academy Awards you win . I don't care how good . That beat sounds , but I gotta listen deeper than that because I'm deeper than that .
Absolutely . I have songs from back in the day that sometime every once in a while go and put on a song because I'm like , oh , yeah . If I'm running or something like that . And then I start listening to the lyrics and I'm like , oh my goodness . What did did I used to sing this ? Because I know , you know , like , like , what am I doing ?
Like , I got I can't even listen to it . I have to turn it off because I'm so convicted . By just guarding my heart and , you know , my ears and and what I'm putting in . So
I can trace it . Lyrics for you right now from songs we listen to back in the day . That is so perverse . Mhmm . I wish that I wouldn't have listened to it .
It's because
sometimes when it gets in there , I know it . You know , act you know ?
Well , it's music , you know , it's it's music is created by God . You know what I mean ? And just the in the lyrics and the words and things like that . So were supposed to meditate on the Word of God day and night .
And so the enemy , you know , Satan has taken music and perverted it and now we're singing these songs , but we're we're meditating on , you know , cheating on our spouse or getting another person or sex or drugs or you know , whatever it is day and night , and it's putting us in the wrong direction for as a man thinks in his heart .
So is he , this is good for parents to know . Yeah . Like , we have to guard our children and teach our children the importance of music because they're meditating what and in you hear the statistics of what's going on with high school kids and teenagers and things like that .
We're at all time high rates for suicide and low self esteem and depression and all of these things . And I personally believe a lot of it is what we're putting in our heart through music , through what we're watching on TV .
Right .
It's crazy . I know we could do a whole other episode on that , but yeah , guard your heart .
Some fourteen year old quick story . I noticed that there was certain stuff coming up on our Alexa And it was , like , maybe , I don't know , Drake or something else . It was coming up on our legs . I'm , like , who is listening to this stuff ? Right ? So I knew kinda who I think that it was . And I said , I brought this child into my office .
And I went to before I brought him up , I went and I got antifreeze . From the garage . And then I got a cup of water . Right ? And so I got clear glasses . Alright ? And I put anti freeze in one glass and I put water in one glass . And I brought the kid in . I said , listen . This is water . And do you know what this is ? Then he was like , no .
I don't know what that is . I said , it's antifreeze . I said , this stuff is deadly . It's poison . You're not supposed to drink it at all . I want you to drink it right now . There's like , come on . I said , listen , I want you to drink it right now . I want you to get this glass . I want you to drink this antifreeze right now .
And they're like , I'm not gonna drink the antifreeze . And I said , well , why won't you drink the antifreeze ? They said because it's poison . And I said , well , that's the same thing that you do when you listen to a bunch of perverse music . Things that are filled with profanity , things that are ungodly , you are putting poison in your heart .
And if you won't drink this antifreeze , you probably need to be very careful about what you're listening to because this right here , this antifreeze will kill you naturally , but what you're listening to could kill you spiritually . The kid was like . Okay . And then I said , but would you drink this water ? Of course , you would . Why ?
Because we are made up of water , we all need water to be healthy . And the water is the word of God , and we need the wash in the water by the word . And if you can listen to stuff that feed your heart and feed your spirit , it's gonna be nothing but strength to you and the poison will kill you .
And so , anyway , you can use that if you wanna use it .
Use it .
We gotta do everything that we can to try to help our children .
Can I just say this now when it some music , TV , things like that , especially with music , you don't even have to compromise ? Whatever genre of music that you like , there is Christian music .
They're really weird .
Good lyrics . Now they're good beats . I mean , it's like I have no lack of good music to listen to .
Yeah . So And I didn't even like our our rule hasn't been , like , it has to be Christian .
Yeah .
It just has to not be anti Christian .
Yeah .
It needs to be positive . Now I would prefer that it be godly and and vertical and going up this way . Yeah . But at the same time , I mean , I might listen to some old school r and b and stuff as long as it doesn't cross the line with profanity and perversion Absolutely . And mayhem and all those kind of stuff . Mhmm .
I'm okay with and I'm gonna help them navigate through that moment , but that's just a little little something for y'all . But anyway , here's the last one . Number three , if you wanna protect your heart , you gotta set some boundaries for yourself . Okay ? You gotta set some boundaries . Now , here's the deal , and I want you to be able to see this .
Like , let's imagine that I have some tape . K ? Now , many people when it comes to their life , let's put the tape down on the floor . What they like to do is to kinda , here's the tape . They like the tip toe right over here and they like to live on the edge of the tape . Now let's assume that this tape represents what God says you can and can't do .
Like , if you cross over the line , it's considered sin . What people like to do is , like , they like to come right up to the edge of sin . Play with sin . Think about sin . Do everything they can as long as it's not sin . They like to go right up to the edge .
For those of you all who wanna live beyond the gray and you wanna pure heart , Don't put the tape of your life over here . You gotta put the tape of your life over here . What I mean by that is that I don't live right up to the edge of what's not seeing . I live way over here . Why ?
Because there is a gap in between where I am and what's actually saying . Therefore , if I'm over here , and I cross this line and I get over into this area , it's still not sin because sin is way over here . I can just jump back over here . What most people do is they live way too close to sodom and gomorr .
You live way too close to that , which is secular . But if you can live over here which is beyond the gray , then if you happen to have a bad day or two , you are still far away from sin . And that's really what it means to have a pure heart is that you're living beyond reproach . You're living a blameless life .
You're living a life where people can't even find something to false accuse you about the best you possibly have people make up stuff nowadays , the false accused you about . But I'm saying you're doing the best that you can to live well beyond this . So , you know , so that
people love that . Yeah . I love it . I feel like that gives me it allows me to be self aware enough to know that , like , if I live my life right up on the line , then I'm going to make mistakes .
Yeah .
But then when I make mistakes , I'm right over in sin . Yeah . I can't I wanna set my tent over here Yeah . To wear okay . Now when I make a mistake , which I know I'm gonna mess up and make a mistake , I didn't fall into sin . Yeah . I don't have to have a big fallout . I don't have to get fired from my job . Nobody had you know , I just okay , Lord .
Sorry , you know ,
I appreciate it . A lot of people do that is because they just edge . They used to love and they just edge . Well , I ain't that big a deal . And everybody else is doing it . They said , I ain't a sin . And that ain't that bad . And and and you're getting closer and closer to Egypt when you've been delivered to Egypt , to live on the promised land .
I give you one more scripture , we're done . Psalms fifty one and ten that says create a me a clean heart of God and renew a right spirit within me . If this boy witnessed with you , we wanna hear from you .
Here's our prayer for you is that God would help you create a clean heart , that he would create a clean heart in you and renew a right spirit within you . So that you can have a pure heart . Yeah . You know , Matthew five and eight that says , blessed are the pure in heart . So they'll see God . How many of you all wanna see God ?
I wanna see God in our church . I wanna see God in our small groups . I wanna see the manifested presence of God . I wanna see the outpour of the Holy Spirit . Bless another pure in heart . Yes . And they don't see God . Everybody else is gonna they're gonna study about God . They're gonna read doctrine about God . We don't see God .
And he's gonna bless and promote those who are pure hearted because that's just what he does . Hey , we're out of time today , but man , we we we we're so thankful that you joined in with us on today . Our hope that this podcast was exactly what you needed to hear , how you needed to hear it .
We have a couple of things that we wanna offer you to hopefully help you get better specifically in marriage . This is what we've realized , is that For a great marriage , there must be a great investment . A lot of times when it comes to being married , people want a great marriage , but they're not willing to make a great investment .
And what we've learned over twenty almost twenty five years of marriage is that if you want a great marriage , there has to be a great investment . Alright ? And so we've created a tool to simply help your marriage get better . It's called the better marriage boot camp . And we believe that if you can give us ninety days we can help get your marriage better .
Alright ? Now , this is the premise for what we've created . You know , marriage counseling on average is between a hundred to four hundred dollars per hour per session , depending upon what city you're in . Now , what I found out as a person who goes to counseling monthly is that I love counseling .
I would encourage all of you all to go to counseling , but many times when I go to counseling , They're as a percentage of my counseling that we spend kinda getting used to each other . Hey , how was your week ? How's your kid ? How's your kid ? How was your week ? You know ?
So what we decided to do is that we needed to create something that was pointed , that it was focused . So we've taken twenty five years of marriage ups and downs , and we've put them into an online course . You don't have to come to us for it . You can actually do it at home on demand at your own pace .
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This is us being your marriage mentors and your marriage coaches to kind of give you every tool that you need homework along with it , everything that you need to help your marriage be better . Okay ? Now if you're interested in this , We also have this ninety day devotional that we would love to get in your hands .
We actually give this to you for free as a part of our Now if you put this devotional , which is a ninety day journey to help you have personal time daily with God every single day . If you put that together with the ninety day boot camp , I'm telling you now , your merit is gonna go to a whole another level .
You know , when we looked upon other master classes like this , many times they will cost about seven hundred dollars to twelve hundred dollars . Matter of fact , there are some very popular motivational speakers that sometimes is twenty five hundred dollars or three thousand dollars for this kind of information .
But our goal was to try to make it as affordable as we could for like everyday families around the world . So we've marked it at three hundred and ninety five dollars , including this ninety day devotional , which is a pretty thick book .
And we just believe that that is a small investment , still a significant investment , but it's an investment that will pay great dividends . Okay ? It's an investment that If you make it , we just believe it's gonna help your marriage get better . If you want more information about the ninety day online marriage boot camp Check the link below .
We would love to have you . And as you're going through that journey , make sure you continue to reach out to us . We're gonna have a whole team of people that's gonna praying for you , rooting you on , and we believe that your relationship is going to get
better . Absolutely .
So we heard anything else about that ?
I am so excited about this marriage boot marriage boot camp . I think it's gonna make a difference in a lot of marriages .
I know that it will . Mhmm . Hey , we love you guys . We're excited about everything that God is doing in your life . If you're new to program . Hit the subscribe button . Turn on your notifications right now , the alarms so that you can be the first to get our podcast every time it's released those of you all on YouTube , everybody else .
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