¶ Navigating Relationships and Overcoming Persecution
Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life .
Sit back and enjoy today's podcast , but before I get there , I wanted to take a moment just to invite our audience out to a live conference . And so every year in October , the second week in October , we have a special conference that we call a live conference , and this is what we say that these three days could change the next 30 years of your life .
Our goal is to try to give people at least four times the amount that they invested in a ticket . We're gonna have seven main sessions this year , six master classes , three after parties , but one encounter with God . And I believe that one encounter with God is what it's all about .
It's so good , ac 23 . You know there are certain things that we do every year , like as believers , like I fast , I do like major fast a couple of times a year . You know , sometimes there's certain books of the Bible I'll study . You know there's a word of the year . But then something else that we do every year and that is a conference .
Ac 23 is that conference . It's that encounter , like you're saying , where you just like Wednesday , thursday , friday , all day , every day , you are like enveloped in the presence of God , just daring to go beyond your own personal boundaries . It is amazing .
And we're gonna be doing a special session on marriage . There it's gonna be Ken and Tabitha . I think we're calling it unfiltered .
And so you wanna come . Really , what is that ?
like you gotta come , we're already unfiltered If you're interested with getting more information about our conference , check out the website mylifechurchorg , and you can also check it out in the show notes . I think there's a link to that as well . You gotta get your tickets now , cause it is gonna be a sold out event . Hey , what's up ?
Everybody , hey , everyone , man , we're so pumped to have you guys here with us for another episode of Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . Sweetheart , you're feeling good today . You ready to rock this ? We're feeling great today , rock this funky joint . Rock this funky joint . So we've been married for 23 years . It's been the best 21 years of our lives .
The first two years was horrible . You got yourself better . You're doing better . Not perfect , but better .
What .
No , you're so wonderful , so kind , so all of that good stuff and love doing this show with you guys . For those of you all who are new to our show , welcome . I mean , hit the subscribe button If you're new here . You can be the first to get the content as it's released .
We release a new episode every Thursday at 3 pm and we just love to hear your feedback .
Today's show is called Relationship Pain and we really wanna just dive in to really help people know how to deal with the people that are in their life , the persecution that they are receiving , the misunderstanding that's there , and to really help people overcome problems in relationships . Anything sticks out to you there .
Wow , I mean , I'm just you know , when I think of relationships , I think about a lot of people who are believers and the relationships that they have with people who are unbelievers , or people who believe in Jesus but don't completely believe the Bible or whatever .
I just remember when we were first getting into the Bible and learning the things of God , we lost a lot of relationships . I personally lost a lot of relationships because of what I believed , and it can be lonely , it can be hard .
Well , I felt like I lost more relationships than you .
Really .
I don't really remember you losing relationships , maybe relationship adjustments . You felt like you lost relationships .
Well , yeah , I can hear I lost a few , but those relationships probably , you know , didn't matter anyway . But yeah , adjustments I think is good , you know .
So , like when I first got saved I was in college , I was like in a sorority and I love my you know the sorority and you know all of that stuff , but we were participating in a lifestyle that like when I got saved I didn't want to do anymore and I lost some relationships and I remember that because you just had something change in you and it wasn't like
the Bible said this , or somebody said you shouldn't do this .
You just had your own spiritual convictions .
Like hey .
I don't want to do this any longer . I'm not comfortable and I love your salvation story because there are people that they get saved and they say the prayer of salvation but nothing really changes . That hasn't been for you . You got saved . Oh my God , how many years has it been ?
now . I was 23 when I got saved .
And now you're 47 , so 24 years . Is that math right ? And I've never seen you backslide . I've only seen you go forward in God and I've seen such an authentic relationship that you have with Jesus and just always growing in his word .
And so thank you for doing that , thank you for not giving in to the persecution , the lack of understanding , and just being bold in your faith .
And so our goal today is very simple to help you take an inventory of the people that are in your life and to make sure that they're in the right seats , because I feel like many times there are people that are in the inter court of our lives that probably should be in the hour courts , yeah , and then there are people that are in the outer court maybe
that you don't even know yet , that you need to make some intentional investments in the right relationships to bring them closer to the inter court . And so why do you think that's important ?
I think the people that you rub elbows with , these are the people that are influencing your life . You pick up mannerisms and habits , whether good or bad . You pick up spirits , too , from the spirits , from the people that you hang around . Who you hang around on your job .
If you're hanging around the group of people who's maybe a little clicky and the ones who always complain , you're going to pick up some things . If you're hanging around the group of people who , ok , they come in early , they leave late . Yes , they're doing everything they need to do to be successful , you're probably going to be a part of the successful group .
So I think it's just so important that we are very wise about who we hang around .
¶ Choosing Healthy Relationships and Setting Boundaries
My pastoral sheets always say it this way hang with those who have your answers and get away from those who have your problems . It's good and we understand from an evangelistic point . It doesn't cross over the exact same way Of course we're going to spend time with those who don't know Jesus yet so that we can win them . That's not what we're talking about .
I'm talking about the people that you decide to make a part of your life , that you're doing life with , that you're exchanging ideologies , you're exchanging tons of time with hang with those who have your answers and I would even say the people that you listen to , because some people that we listen to on podcasts , that we listen to on TV sometimes we spend so
much time with the shows about housewives and the reality TV shows that their behaviors begin to influence us and we start to say the things that we hear them say , and we have to be very careful about whose voice we listen to .
And not only whose voice we listen to . The scripture says you'll know a tree bot's fruit , and I think that there are many people on podcasts or many people who have a platform that we follow , that we listen to them , but we don't know who they really are . And I understand we got a podcast .
I understand that we're sharing principles , but I would rather be a person of character and integrity off this microphone and have fruit in my life , other than be a person that's just sharing principles and I think that there are .
I think that sometimes we're attracted to charisma over character and everything that glitters is not gold , and it's almost like we are listening and following people but they don't have the fruit that they should have in their life . And it's gonna be hard for us to have the fruit in our life unless we follow other people who got fruit in their eyes .
But anyway . So here's some things that we've learned over 20 years . Number one if you show me your friends , I can prophesy your future . I've heard it said this way that if you show me the sum of the five closest people that you spend the most time with , I can show you where you are .
You are the sum of the average of the five closest people that you spend time with .
That is a homework project for somebody .
Okay .
You know like literally write down the five closest people in your life and look at their fruit Right , what do they have going on in their lives , and then kind of draw some conclusions there .
And we're not talking about your . Do you want to be like that ? We're not talking about your kids , we're talking about your friend group . Yeah , the people who influence you , your peers , the people who speak into your life . Yeah , yeah , yeah .
The people who , if you had a problem , you would share it with them .
And so if I did that homework and I found out , you know what these five jokers are a mess , One dumb big thing .
They always come to me for everything . I never even have to go to them , because they always have their own problems .
What would you say do if I look at my five and it's messy ?
Your world is too small . You got to expand your world .
You have to make intentional investments to up the average .
Yes , yes .
And get with people who have a bigger mindset and are closer to the Lord and who walk in the fruit of the Spirit and the power of God , and we can do that .
All right , you need those Barnabas Paul and Timothy relationships , someone who is going to pull you up At the same time , somebody who can you can pull up , so that you're always , you know , pouring into somebody and then somebody's always pouring into you . I think that's healthy , yeah , how ?
about this one . Number two this is what we've learned over 20 years Is that every person in your life either adds , subtracts , multiplies or divides . Okay , and so the key to having great relationships is to minimize the people that divide and subtract and to maximize the people who multiply and add . Can you talk about that at all ?
I just feel like there's a whole bunch of people who just need to go cutting off people Because I just saw another homework assignment . Okay , write down all the people who add , subtract , multiply or divide . If they , if they subtract and divide , just go ahead and take them off the list . How do you do that ? We talk about loving people from a distance .
Go ahead . I asked you a question and then I answered it , okay . You want to answer , but I just wanted to say that Because I've had to do that in my life , in areas of people that I love dearly , yeah , but they divide and they subtract from me and do not give me life Right , and so I have I've had to separate myself and love them from a distance .
I think what we're talking about today is something that's so common in the Christian walk , because the scripture says that we are to turn the other cheek . We are to love the unlovely .
Yes , we are to overcome evil with good , and we almost get into a place where we allow too many toxic people in out of the sake of those scriptures yes , not understanding that every scripture has to be applied with prudence , and it also has to be applied with wisdom and discernment .
And so , yeah , there's pain in that , you know , but it's so important because you just can't . There are people that you have to love from a distance . Yes , there are people like I love you but I don't trust you . I love you but you're not healthy for me . I love you but I can't , I can't deal with you .
So I'm going to love you , meaning that I'm there for you if you need me , I'm going to pray for you and cover you . And if you ever come to the place where you're like you know what , I need your help , I want to grow , I'm going to be there for you . But , at the same time , I'm okay with us being in different locales .
I'm okay with the distance , you know , and I think there's many people that might not be okay with that , yeah .
That's just something that you have to deal with , really . I mean , here's what I do as well . I mean , when you talk about people that are in your life , that you know , do they add or subtract , and then , as believers , we have people who we always want to pour into right .
I found that the people that are in my life , that should be in my life and that I can pour into , like I have a grace for them , right , I can handle it . So they can go and cut up and act a fool , but I'll still be able to speak into their lives and it's not going to bother me .
I'm going to still be able to go to sleep at night because I have a supply for them . But the people who go cut up and act a fool but I can't sleep at night and all day I'm thinking about them and it hurts me , it hurts my feelings , it puts me in a box . It's like I can feel the persecution . Those are the ones I need to separate myself from .
Okay . Well , today is really the goal of this segment . Is not , hey , go cut off everybody who you know , all your friends and family members , or is it ? I think that's the goal of today .
It's to really look around , because there are some people who are listening and watching that they have allowed way too many influences in their soul and in their inner circle to where they are being hindered from being who God's called them to be and they are . So they are more committed to people approval than God approval .
We want to help get you free , but then there are some lone rangers that it's like you know what . They ghost you real quick , they cut you off and they probably need a little bit more compassion . They need a little bit more patience , they need a little bit more tend to mercies , so forth and so on .
But I think the second thing that we've learned is to kind of categorize people you know . And so when someone , when I know someone , subtracts from me or divides me , it doesn't mean that I never will talk to them again . It means that I'm going to God asking God okay , god , how do I deal with this person ?
How do I create a healthy separation and healthy distance , but still love them , but not let them cause like what would that be Almost like have they they teeth in me ?
so to say , their claws in me like Manipulation , the puppet strings , the invisible strings that they will say this , so that you can do that . And they'll do this so that they can make you respond in a different way and they know that it's going to make you feel this way . They know that it's going to make you come to their rescue .
So for me , point number two is more about identifying those people and say , okay , this person subtracts and this person divides , and this is how I deal with them .
Now , for some people , maybe I need to mark them and avoid them the scripture says that I can do that for some people who cause division , or maybe I just need to create healthy boundaries , or maybe I just need to love them here and just see them on Christmas or see them on Thanksgiving or something like that .
You know , but I want to know , I want to be in the know . Now , these other people who add and multiply into my life , those are investments in relationships . I want to make sure that I'm easy to lead , I'm easy to be a friend . I want to make sure that you know there's some intentionality towards that way that I want to go , but I don't know .
Tell me if you see this , I feel like people naturally give a lot of their attention to the drama and maybe less attention to the people that can add value .
Yeah .
Do you see that at all ?
I see it , yeah , and I think that's , I don't know . I feel like everything that I'm saying is kind of leaning toward one side , which is it sounds mean no , go ahead and lean . It sounds mean like cut people off , and that's not what I'm trying to say at all .
But that's not your heart , that's not who you are as a person . Yeah , but it's very important .
But I deal with in my own life . But then when I counsel people , I deal with so many people who are just stuck in life yeah , because they're listening to really their mom , their dad and their sister , their brother .
They got no fruit .
Their cousins , their ex-boyfriend they don't know nothing . Like , yeah , and these people kind of have their claws on them . They have like the puppet strings Right , and it's just like , well , what are you doing ? For example , there was one person that I was just counseling on finances and on life decisions .
I'm like , okay , well , why don't you do this with your finances ? Well , their mother actually the checks that , the paychecks that they got their mother took their paychecks and then did stuff with them because she felt like , well , I have to , I owe this to my family and I was like are you serious ?
You are grown , and your mother what scripture do you get that from ?
Who would do that to someone ? But anyway , but there's so many , yeah , yeah , the water's so muddy when it comes to relationships , relationships with our family even . And I think , in order for us to really to really be who God's called us to be , yeah , to thrive , to be able to be blessed , to be a blessing , we have got to cut the strings .
If it's not attached to God , cut the strings .
Yeah , and that's not saying that there's not a time to take care of your family and the widows and those who are older , not at all . Well , let's put that to the side for a second . We're basically talking about the toxic people that are friends and that are family .
That you can't do anything good for . I mean you do ? You give them gifts , clothes , money . You say nice things to them , but they always want more and they're always thinking they always have something negative to say about you . You cannot satisfy them .
Those are the people you need to mark and separate yourself from , and you actually have permission to be free from that form of bondage .
That is a yoke of bondage and I think that you've had to learn that over the years because , honestly , I know from me , and you too , but I love hard , yeah , and so I will give people the shirt off my back . I think over a span of nine years we had over 19 people live with us .
I will give you a job , I will try to help you get yourself together . I mean you can go through all kinds of . I mean we've had people who've , you know , overcoming drugs , doing drugs in our house , but we're still trying to help them overcome so forth and so on , because we just love people and we see destiny in them .
We can see things in them that they don't see in themselves , and because I know that I love hard , I also need to protect me and my family and my soul , just as hard , absolutely . And I think that that's .
¶ Bad Company's Influence on Believers
It's okay to give ourselves permission to do that , because as a Christian , you almost feel this obligated .
But you're not obligated to be anybody's doormat , you're not obligated to really just let people walk over you and leech from you and manipulate you and beat you down , because then you can't be , you can't , you don't even have a supply for all of the other people that God wants you to reach Right .
And so the third thing that we've learned over our life is that bad company corrupts good manners .
That's good .
And that's actually . That's straight the Bible , the B-I-B-L-E . Bad company corrupts good manners . Can you talk about that at all ?
Yeah , I think you know I can speak to my before Jesus days and whether it were , I don't know just friends in college and even in high school . Growing up in high school , my first cigarette was with bad company . Right , my first drink was with bad company and a lot of things that I did was because I had bad company .
Go ahead and tell them I called all of it and go through the list .
Now , these people I would say I mean and it's funny because , like these people I would say , were my friends , I still care for them to this day Like I mean , it's who I rolled with , but it was what I would call bad company , because they influenced me to do things that were ungodly .
Right .
And I probably influenced them to do some things that were , you know , ungodly as well .
I like to say it this way whenever God wants to do something in your life , he puts people in your life . And whenever Satan wants to do something in your life , he puts people in your life , and so the people who are coming into your life are probably there from Satan to lead you towards what is wrong , or from God to lead you towards that is right .
That's so good .
And I think it's so important for us to be discerning , to determine who these people came from , and so yeah for me as the same . Now I was the one probably influencing people wrong . I mean to be honest with you , but the principle is this is that bad company like so who you hang out with ?
does matter , you know .
And so I've always thought it's interesting when people get set free from , like , say , a drug addiction , and then they want to go back to the drug house and get everybody set free .
But that's really not the environment right away for you to run back into because the environment suggests to you that you're supposed to be a part of it and it will probably turn you out before you turn it out .
I'm not saying that five years can't go by , 10 years can't go by and God can't send you back into the prison and send you back to the drug house . Yeah , God can use you , but I think there needs to be a real season of maturity and separation , because it's just like how Lot he set his tent towards Sodom and where did he end up ?
Because your environment is suggesting for you to come and be a part of it . So if you get free from a lifestyle , but you still hang out with everybody who's in that lifestyle . The environment is saying no , you're supposed to be a part of it , don't leave . And that's what happened to Lot . That's why he ended up back in Sodom .
And listen . That is part of the reason why I do not drink alcohol to this day or hang around a lot of people who do drink alcohol , because I don't want to put myself in that situation . The Bible says that the flesh left unchecked will always return back to where it came from .
It is a way of me checking my flesh , because the first 18 years of my life were so influential . It kind of you know , you're born in to sin , shaped in iniquity . The first 18 years of my life were like that . That suggested being alcoholic . You need to drink like this , you need to do all of these things . I've been free from alcohol sober for what ?
Over 20 years now , but you still won't see me hanging out at the bar at the sports club . You still won't see me Even when we go to restaurants . We went to a restaurant the other day and we had the option to sit at the bar because all the other seats were taken and both of us looked at the bar . We saw the people hanging out with their drinks .
We saw the drinks , you know the bottles around and we just looked and it was like no , no , thank you , we'll wait for the drink and we're not even saying that as haters .
If you want to drink , drink ?
Yeah , you can drink if you want to .
But I'm saying that ain't the environment for my spirit , for not for me . That's not the environment for my sober-mindedness and the call of God on my life and the anointing on my life and the joy of the Lord that I walk in and how I want to live a life that is beyond reproach .
It can be for somebody else , but it ain't for me , and I think that's what you're saying . You need to know what environment you're supposed to be in and what relationships you need around you to be in God's best , and that's so good .
So Bad Company corrupts good manners , and I guess what we're talking about today is like building some parameters and making investments in right relationships and like cutting off or putting boundaries around wrong relationships , and especially for those of you all who are newer to your faith .
It's like when you're newer to the faith , the people that you used to hang out with and do life with will probably be the first to say negative things about you and call you a holy rollo . Or you just you think you've changed .
Well , they say that you've changed , but you have changed .
Yeah , thank God , I changed , like , thank God that I'm not that strut , that strip club clubbing , drinking , lying , cheating , fornicating . Thank God , I've changed . So when people are like man , it seems like you've changed . That shouldn't be a bad thing . That actually should be like thank God , you see it , and I'm letting people know that .
Listen , you can change too if you want to . Now I can't make you change , but I'm not gonna let you stop me from changing . But that's what people wanna do . And you know why people don't . People persecute you and attack you for living godly . It's because the light that is in you is putting a spotlight on the darkness in them .
And it makes them uncomfortable , and it makes them uncomfortable .
The light in you now makes them uncomfortable . So before you could go out and you could hang out and you could do whatever . And because both of you were in darkness , the darkness liked the darkness . But now that you're the light , the very fact that you're in the house , they're uncomfortable .
The fact that you're in the car , they're uncomfortable and they almost wanna project like there's something wrong with you and ain't nothing wrong with you , everything is right with you . The problem is the darkness that's on the inside of them . And so you got .
I remember when we first got really serious about God and I had a family member and I love this family member but they put out a magazine on the table and it was a negative magazine . There was a negative article about mega churches . You know what I'm saying and I'm talking about .
These are people who were in church love me and I love them , great people , but at the same time , you on the inside I had to be like , get the behind me , satan . You know it's not about that person Like this is a person that I love . I mean , I genuinely love .
Might not even admit anything about it , but that right there was the plan of the enemy for me not to go full into my church because of some article about mega churches . And so not only will it come from people that are not believers . Many times the persecution and the misunderstanding of relationships comes from other religious or zealous or legalistic Christians .
People who think they're doing good for you .
They think they're doing good , but they're being used by the enemy , and so they're gonna tell you why it doesn't take all of that . And no , tongues is this and tongues is that . And money is this and money is that . And what I learned over the years is that you will know a tree by its fruit . In a stranger's voice , I will not follow .
So I wanna be very attentive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and I'm also wanna be a great fruit inspector , because just because you say you love Jesus , you might not love Jesus like I love Jesus , so you might not know him like I know him and you might not be able to manifest in the kingdom when I'm able to manifest in the kingdom .
So I'm not gonna let your words and limits limit me .
And I think , like you said , the word compartmentalized before I think you said that word when it comes to relationships and things , and I think what people do is they get someone . Let's say they have someone who is a business mentor man . They know business in and out and they are like you can go to them for business .
I mean , they got books on business and all of this stuff , but their marriage sucks . So , okay , it's okay to go to them for business , but don't you dare . You better look at the fruit and don't listen to them when it comes to marriage advice , and it is okay to do those things .
There are people that I listen to on podcasts maybe politics or just any health podcasts that I listen to , and they are an expert in health , but please don't go into the Bible . You preached politics and you are an expert in politics , but please don't try to preach the word .
I mean , it is every Christian , yeah , you can preach the word .
You're a Christian , you have a believer , but don't try , don't do that . Because I can't listen to you in that , because you're not an expert in that , but I can listen to you about
¶ Embracing Misunderstanding and Persecution
this .
I guess one of the things that I want people to hear today is that it's okay to be misunderstood , and just because people hate on you doesn't mean that God does Matter of fact , I've realized over the years that it's actually confirmation that when people speak ill of you , it's confirmation that you might be really walking with God .
For me , I've been misunderstood so much that I've actually gotten used to it now and I actually welcome it . I'm talking about family members and friends , not naming names , because it's not about people to me . I'm just talking about the principles that other people who are listening need to hear .
Just misunderstanding of why I can't come to a wedding or why I didn't show up for this birthday or why I wasn't able to come to this family reunion , because my life is not my own and because maybe I don't have the budget for , or maybe God has me doing another assignment , or maybe he just didn't give me peace to go or I didn't wanna come .
But I just feel like there are so many people that have limits in their Christendom because they live for the audience of people more than the audience of God , and there's just something about divorcing yourself from the opinions of other people so that you can be who God's called you to be and I just speak of boldness over people today to be who God's called
you to be , I know of one young lady who was Muslim and now she's a follower of Jesus . She's a Christian and she comes from a Palestinian family and they don't really understand her decisions and she has to be bold . She has to say well , god has revealed Himself to me , I have a relationship with God , I am healed and restored .
I mean , she has a , she got water baptized , she knows who Jesus is and she's gonna have to deal with the fact that her family does not get it yet , but she is the chosen one in that family for everybody else hopefully to get it .
Yeah , yeah .
Here's a few scriptures . Tell me what you got out of this . Matthew , chapter 12 , verse 46, . It says while Jesus was still talking to the crowd , his mother and brother stood outside wanting to speak with him . And somebody told him your mother and brother standing outside wanting to speak with you .
And he replied to them who is my mother and who are my brothers ? He's pointing to his disciples and he said here are my mother and brother . For whoever does the will of the Father in heaven is my brother and my sister and my mother . What sticks out to you from that ?
Now , I love this scripture Because there's another scripture in the Bible that's telling the same story , in the gospels . This says that his brother , his mother , his brothers were with his mother and they were going to Jesus to lay hands on him . They were going to beat Jesus up . They were going to say Jesus , what are you doing ?
I have not read this scripture , but I'll take your word for it . I'll take my word for it .
They were going to lay hands on Jesus because they wanted to be like what are you doing ? That's family . And then Jesus says well , who is my brother and my sister ? But I think that's so important because if you're a part of a family that just persecutes you , you can't do anything right . Jesus knows all about your troubles .
Yeah , he's basically . He's not trying to diss your natural family , and that's not what today's episode is about , but he is trying to highlight your spiritual family and he says who is my family brother , sister , mother other than those who do the will of God ? And I think so many times we don't look at our spiritual family as like , really our family .
Like we got this thing like well , blood is thicker than water . Well , the blood of Jesus is thicker than water , and that's what brings us together as spiritual family .
Yeah , I think it's so important spiritual family like church family , like our closest friends and best friends . I mean they are the people who we go to church with the people who we build the kingdom with the people that we pray with people together , that we take care of kids and we teach the gospel to kids together .
I mean , these are our brothers and sisters , our mothers and fathers .
Matthew 10 , 34 says do not suppose that I've come to bring peace to the earth . I didn't come to bring peace but a sword , for I've come to turn a man against his father , a daughter against her mother , a daughter in law against her mother in law , and a man's enemies will be members of his own household . What sticks out to you in that ?
one , just the fact that we've , we believe the word of God over all else , over what anyone else says , and you can have different denominations . You can have people who believe in Jesus , but we disagree on baptism . Whose name are you baptized in , or whether you speak in tongues or don't speak in tongues .
I don't know and disagree on certain things , but really it's the word of God . You gotta know the word of God for yourself and you let the word of God rule and reign in your heart above anyone else .
Yeah , for me the scripture . You know , jesus is the Prince of Peace . So when he says I didn't come to bring peace , it gets my attention . But a sword . And he says dividing mother against daughter , and a man's enemies will be that of his own household , it lets us know how powerful the gospel is , that it's not like you get the chance to .
Well , I wanna do this Christian thing a little bit , but as long as everybody in my family's okay with it , or as long as everybody thinks well of me and it's like no , he's come to cut all that . Either you for him or against him .
And I think that it's showing us the importance once again of spiritual family and that some of the people that are closest to you can be used to the enemy the most to keep you out of the will of God . Second Timothy 312, . It says yes , all who desire to live godly in Christ will suffer persecution .
John 15 and 18 says if the world hates you , know that it hated me before it hated you . Matthew 5 and 10 , it says bless are those who persecute or persecute it because of righteousness , for theirs is the kingdom of heaven . Bless are you when people insult you , persecute you , falsely , say all kinds of evil against you because of me .
And then he says for a joy , please , and be glad , because great is your reward in heaven . For in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you . I kind of put all those scriptures together .
What jumps out to you ? Anything , just that persecution is going to be there , and let's not be surprised by it .
Let's normalize it Like yep , I believe .
God and this is what I believe . I believe the Bible and people are not going to be okay with it . It's just the way it is .
Yep , and they are going to falsely say all evil against you because of Jesus meaning . Falsely meaning that , and I see that as a pastor . People just make up stuff .
Some people on line they're hilarious to me , like it's actually funny to me now , like I was doing my fingers like this and I was like counting one , two and somebody said , well , that's the devil sign the pastors know what they're doing . That's the devil you like . No , these are two fingers , I like the devil .
You give way too much credit to the devil .
Ain't nobody think about no dog on demons or devils . Man , these , I'm counting two fingers , these are my fingers . The devil ain't got nothing to do with it . Folks crazy , and I love it that it says that . Yeah , that's pretty normal . People are going to basically make up stuff because you're holy . They're going to make up stuff because you're godly .
They're going to make up stuff because God be with you . But if God be for you , then who can be against you ? And he gives us the attitude he says basically rejoice and be glad in it .
And so I've kind of come to the place where , like man , thank God that I get to bear a couple of stripes for his name and its confirmation to the authenticity of the anointing of the Lord .
Glory . We're soldiers in the army of the Lord .
All right . So here's some things we can do . What do you do with this relationship pain ? I think we need to normalize it . Everybody say normalize .
Normalize .
It's not the end of the world Expected okay . So some you got a friend that is really close right now . That doesn't mean they're always be really close . I have friends that roll with me 20 years ago . They don't roll with me now . Have friends that roll with me five years ago . They don't roll with me now , but God bless them and . God bless me .
It's gonna be okay as long as husband and wife is together , as long as I'm taking care of my family and my kids . You know , and if God be for me , who can be against me ? It's not what we want , but it's okay , you know . Number two I think we need to count it all joy .
Like I said , man , you fall into persecution , people talking bad about you , people it worked on understands you . You know , to God be the glory . I'm not getting crucified , I'm not getting Boiled in tar , I'm not getting hung upside down , y'all just talking about me .
Talk on number three Send their words of rejection back to hell , where they came from , all right , and place it . Replace it with words that you speak over your life .
Yeah , and this is big for people who've been through a divorce or you've been in a relationship where it's like , as that person was exiting the relationship , they use their tongue to give you a weapon and nothing and you are mistake and you Nobody's ever gonna marry you again . And you got to send those words back to hell , where they came from .
So I , I capture those thoughts and those words , I put them underneath my feet . No , I'm an heir of God in a joint Error with Christ Jesus . I'm the head and not the tail above , only never beneath , the lender , not the borrower . And you got to speak what God says about you and it doesn't matter what people say about you , you know .
And so , number four , you got to ask God for his peace to guard your heart and guard your mind . I think that's huge . Okay
¶ Navigating Relationship Pain and Finding Peace
. So , when it comes to relationship pain , because we love hard and I know that our audience , they love Jesus and they love hard , yeah , and because we love hard , I can feel hard and I can be hurt . Okay , now , by faith , I'll say well , you can't hurt me .
But truthfully , because I'm a person of compassion , I feel , I feel the rejection , I feel the betrayal , I feel the abandonment . I feel it many times before it even comes . But I , my faith , is more in God's peace that passes my understanding , that will guard my heart in mind in Christ Jesus .
So , even though relationship pain is a normalized , expected thing that I will count it all joy in , I , by faith , receive the shalom of God to protect my heart , because the last thing we can do is get better right . Because whenever you get better , you're gonna lose your anointing .
You know , the the well starts to dry up , because now you can't love any longer , because you want to protect yourself . Mm-hmm and that's what relationship , pain , does , and that's why this podcast is so important , because we need to help people navigate the pain . So it's coming . His grace is sufficient . The peace of God is going to be there .
It's going to be okay , yeah , but you can't get stuck .
Yeah , and , and you're not the only one . Mm-hmm people all over the world experience pain , they experience betrayal , they experience Backstabbing , and but you can do it , you can , you can experience it , you can go through it and not be stuck in it . Yeah , right , you can . Jesus says that my peace I give you .
Yeah , and so we have the peace of Jesus , and I just heard recently that peace is a person . Peace is Jesus and he lives in us and we have him . And so , if we can just focus on the peace yes , this doesn't feel good right now , but also , yes , I have peace the peace , that transcends all understanding .
So good and I'll give you the last one number five will be making intentional investments into the right relationships . And I need somebody to hear this , because many times , people's rejection is God's protection . Let me say it again people's rejection , man's rejection , sometimes is God's protection .
Wow , and and over the course of my life , as I've walked through ministry , I've seen this person reject me , this person portray me , this person reject me , this person portray me , this person reject me , and at first I was hurt , but now I realize that people's rejection is actually God's protection and God is actually protecting me for my calling and my purpose .
He's protecting me not to invest in wrong relationships when you have other people that will run with the words that value my voice and value my anointing . And so now , people's rejection , I don't take it as rejection , it's actually God's protection .
Wow , and I think it goes into counting it all joy , because that's when it's the right perspective . Well , if that door closed , god , I know you have another one for me . If you don't fix this situation , god , I know there's something better coming on the way . It's all about counting it all joy , because God , ultimately , is gonna bring you out on top .
Can you pray for people right now ? That's just going through people approval .
Can you just ?
pray that that spirit of people approval be broken and that they just walk in another level of boldness .
Absolutely , father . I pray , first of all , that you heal the hearts of everyone listening that , who has been hurt by people , by loved ones , who has been persecuted . People said wrong things about them , people lied about them . Father , I pray that you would just begin to heal them right now , in Jesus' name .
And now I pray that you give them a boldness and a confidence to say no to who they need to say , no to yes to who they need to say , yes to an ability to put God first , to allow your word to be a sword in their life , to allow you , father , to protect them in relationships that they will not be fearful , they will not be untrustworthy , that they
won't conceal their love and be afraid to love again , father , but they will open up their hearts and love because you are with them , and the Prince of Peace that transcends all understanding is always with them . And so , father , I thank you in Jesus' name .
Amen , amen . Well , thank you for that , hey guys . Well , we're out of time for today . I hope that you enjoyed today's episode on relationship pain and we pray that the pain that is in your heart from any relationship , that our God is able to mend and to heal and to restore the broken hearted .
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We love you , guys and we'll see you soon , Peace .