¶ Nurturing Marriage and Overcoming Challenges
Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast .
What's up everybody ? Welcome to another edition of Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha , and we are pumped to have you guys here . I am with the lovely most beautiful-est thing in this world , keith Murray 1996 . But you do . You look absolutely gorgeous today and it's going to be a good one . What's up y'all ?
Well , you guys are here , all right , hey , this has been 25 years of marriage and we're just sharing everything that God has given us the ups and downs on this podcast . We're glad that you guys have found us , if you've been a part of our family .
Every once in a while we do a question and answer segment where we look at some of the questions that you've written in . And we just try our best to kind of speak to your where you are situation . So if you have any questions for us at all , email them to us right now . It can be about finances , about the Bible , about marriage , about intimacy .
There is no question that is out of bounds . And so you can email it to info at mylifechurchorg . And so , sweetheart , are you ready for today ? I'm ready .
Yeah , what are you ?
ready for .
Just ready to answer some questions . Ready to see what the lord is going to do in this time you have a glow about you . Today is this just , is this just your , your normal persona feel ?
uncomfortable . You should feel special . Why do you feel uncomfortable ?
I don't know , because you're looking at me like the care bear stare maybe it's , I don't know , the black oh , yeah , yeah , maybe I should wear black , yeah well , today I have on my for those of you all .
On podcast you can't see it , but on YouTube you can see I have my humble pie shirt on . All right Now , if you missed , last Thursday we did three benefits of humility . Now you got to go back and get hold of it because we're really dealing with pride and we're in the middle of a humility movement .
But when it comes to humble pie , the higher you want to go in your life , the more humble pie you're going to have to eat . Take it from yours , truly . All right . And so we got the shirt that says have a slice , because we all need some humble pie so God can do some great things in our life . All right , but anyway , I just want to jump into today .
If you're new to our podcast , hit the subscribe button or the icon so that you can be the first to grab hold of the content . If you're ever in the Florida area , stop by worship with us at a live church . We have a campus in Orlando , florida , gainesville Florida , also Tampa , florida , and more to come as God permits . All right .
This person wrote in and they said it seems like everybody around me is having children . My husband and I just got married . We feel so much pressure to have children , but we don't want to yet . Are we wrong for this ?
No good for you . You know , have children when you want to , definitely don't have it before you're ready , yeah , I mean , especially when you just get married , like okay , so we just we got married . We got married our senior year of college , lord knows , we didn't want children at that time , you know , we didn't even graduate college yet .
And then we graduated college , been married for a year , got out , we're new in our careers and things like that . We definitely didn't want to have children in the middle of that .
But then I think we had been married for five years when we got pregnant for the first time , and I think in that time I mean definitely people ask those questions when are you having kids ? You know all of that , but you , you know it's none of their business and it's up to you guys .
And so I think everybody wants to know , though , because it's Well , that's the deal with this question .
It seems like they're under pressure . And my assumption is that the pressure is coming from family , friends , when you're going to have kids , when you're going to have kids , when you're going to have kids , and it's OK to say when we want to have kids .
Yeah , we don't know yet .
I think my encouragement for you would just be OK with pressure , yeah . Be OK with just saying what you want to do yeah , and that's fine , you can respect and have kids when you're ready .
So , like I was ready , I felt like maybe three years in like hey , bae , what you know , what do you think about having kids ? And you were like absolutely not . Oh , really yeah . And then , and then there came a time where you were like hey tab , what do ?
Absolutely not , it's not the time , because we were just at different levels in our careers and things like that . And then it was like the third time . We kind of looked at each other and we're like I think we're ready , I think it's the right time , and we agreed and we got pregnant .
Right . This person says my wife is having some health complications and we are unable to have sex . I find myself sexually frustrated a lot , even starting to get tempted with pornography et cetera . How can I have intimacy with my wife even though we are unable to have sex , and how can I keep this sexual frustration away ?
Man , that is a very , very challenging situation . The first thing I would say is my heart goes out to you . I'm sorry that you're having to deal with health complications , and the best thing that you can do as a man , leader of the household , is to figure out how to try to get her healed .
Sometimes that's supernatural , sometimes it's natural , but most of the time it's a combination of faith and works . So , as my wife has had certain challenges in her body , I've everything I can in the natural find the best doctors , change our eating patterns , get to know our body naturally .
But I've researched everything the bible has to say about healing and we have done everything that we could to see God move in and heal her . So that's one thing that I would do . The second thing that I would do is I would separate your temptation from pornography from you not having sex .
It's like I get that that's the angle that the enemy is playing is because you're sexually frustrated , so the temptation is more tempting . But my encouragement would be to you is like let's separate the two , because there are two different battles . One is a battle because of your wife's health and you're just not able to have sex .
Number two is a battle for your soul , because pornography opens up a door to the demonic and many more strongholds than people would ever know . So if you can fight that battle , that pornography is not something that's going to be in my house , it's not something that's going to be in my heart , in my home .
Statistically , those who get involved in pornography are less satisfied in their sex life with their spouse . There's all kinds of repercussions , psychologically and also spiritually . You're just going to have to put your foot down to that temptation and say that's not going to be an option . So if that's not an option , then you now have intention .
You can focus on what your options are . So let's say that the healing isn't coming quickly , where you can talk to your wife about other ways that she can meet your needs . You know there's other ways to do things between a husband and a wife . I just don't know what the ailment is .
But there's other ways to satisfy each other , depending upon what the ailment is . I think that needs to be a conversation there and then also access the grace of God . But this is not an easy thing . I'm not going to make light of the situation . This is a hard thing .
But you know , when we say we're going to be with each other , sickness or health , rich or poor , till death does us part . This is the sickness piece . Don't divide , unite . Figure out how to overcome it . I believe healing is on the way .
Yeah , I think you said that beautifully and I think I would you know if that wife were watching . I would encourage her to just have that conversation with her husband on what else can we do to meet your sexual needs , and I think that you can come to agreements there .
Yeah , I think it's also because I don't know . Do you know of a lot of ailments that prevent you from having sex altogether ? I know that there are some , I'm sure .
I mean , I'm sure there's some sexually transmitted , you know , diseases , things like that . You know recent surgeries , you can't . You know , maybe the doctors say six weeks you can't have sex . Know , maybe the doctors say six weeks you can't have sex .
Well , the reason that I'm asking that is it more of she doesn't want to have sex , or it's painful to have sex , uncomfortable to have sex , or that she can't have sex ? And I think that they just and then , at the end of the day , you just might need some counseling as well , some therapy . Go and just get some other people's help .
I think we've given you a lot to be able to find some answers from those things .
I hope at least there's hope in it , like there's an answer , just find it , just work it out .
Nothing has to be perfect , and that's our experience . To you that there is probably an answer , and what I always look at is that , if you knock the door , be opened . It's in the heart of a king to search out a matter . It's the glory of the Lord to conceal things . Stay in faith , don't give up , don't get into sin . Yes , and healing is on the way .
Breakthrough is on the way . Fight for it , though . This person writes in and says my husband and I have found ourselves in a financial hole again . It has been years and I can see how much weight he's carrying . I don't want him to feel like it is all his fault or that he's alone in this battle , but he seems to be shut down .
I don't know how to get him out of this . Seems like some depression . How can I better support him as a wife ?
I don't know . That's tricky Because I'm wondering does she have a job or is she a stay-at-home mom or like , what is her position ? Because what you can do is support him , is get a job , get a side hustle . You know you can , there's all kinds of you can do on . You don't even have to go into work .
You can do online jobs , telemarketing , anything to you know . You can do hair , you can do nails you can like , so you can actually work , um , to produce income and figure out what that looks like for you and your family . Uh , you can do that . Um , I'm , I'm sure there .
There are things like you know budgeting and on all of that stuff , which I'm sure she's probably already doing . Uh , but as far as the depression part goes , and kind of he seems like he's down in the dumps a little bit , I can understand that .
I think we've definitely kind of been there before where I noticed that , okay , you might be depressed a little bit , and what I did in that moment is that I prayed , I supported you , I allowed you to have the time that you needed between you and God , because I knew that you were a praying man , I knew that you were going to get over this .
I knew you had , you know , the proper channels in your life , like you had a pastor to go to , you had friends to go to .
But I knew that this was a hard time for you and so I gave you space to be able to figure that out , and it might've been three months , you know something like that , maybe six months maximum , but we were able to just kind of carry on and I was just there to support you , to kind of , okay , let's laugh , let's , you know , enjoy the family and eventually
you know , you kind of you got out of it . God led you out of it . That depression left , the joy left and you were able to fight , you know , stand up on your feet again .
But I think sometimes a man does need space and it is a lot of pressure for him and it's like , well , he has to be strong and brave and kind of be out in the forefront and be a leader all the time . And yes , he does .
But I think it's that place as a wife sometimes that just yeah , let him come home and if he needs to go to his room , let him go to his room . You know , let him hear from God , and that's just what I've done , some things in the past .
Well , for 25 years , financial stuff has been part of our battle . It was in the beginning and it still is today as we make investments and we do other things , and it will probably be there tomorrow Not a battle that's going to defeat us or a battle that's going to depress us , but a battle that we have to continue to fight , the good fight of faith .
Twenty five years of fighting this battle this is what I've learned when it comes to finances . Finances is not hard . It's really not . I think that what we do is we don't understand that faith without works is dead . The work side of finances is huge , but the faith side of finances is just as huge and most people emphasize one or the other .
They understand God's principles of sowing and reaping and tithing and giving and they kill that . But they don't have a job and they don't have a good product that they're selling . Or they just work really hard and they don't have a job and they don't have A good product that they're selling , or they just work , work really hard and they don't agree .
They don't really work god's financial principles . What you need is an equal to both of them . This is 25 years of this . Finances is not hard
¶ Financial Freedom Through Faith and Action
Many times . I remember feeling like I would never get out of the financial hole you will . I remember feeling like it was a gorilla on my back . I would wake up in the middle of the night crying because as a provider , I felt like I couldn't provide for my family . So for a man this is a big deal .
But here's my best financial advice that I could possibly give you . All right . Number one on the natural side of things , you simply need to spend less than what you make . So you have to raise your income . Ok , you have to raise your income . The way that you raise your income is that you work another job . You drive Uber . You get a job .
We've done all this . You went to work , back to work for a while . We've done stuff on the side . You do whatever you got to do . Increase your income . Go back to school . Some of it's going to be a short-term play Flipping pizzas on the side , driving Uber short-term play .
Long-term play go to school for two years to four years to get a better degree , to make more money . Those are a little longer-term plays . Okay . Now if you say , pastor , I have already capped out my income ceiling . Okay , can you reduce expenses ? Okay , so that means you might have to move from a three-bedroom into a two-bedroom .
You said , well , we got kids , we'll put bunk beds in there . Put all three kids in one bedroom . You said , well , I got a two bedroom . Move a roommate into there . So you got to be willing to do the hard natural things that most people won't be willing to do to get yourself out of the hole . So , financially , you need margin . Margin is huge .
Margin is just the space between how much you make versus how much you spend . Most people today are spending more money than what they make . That's why Visa and credit cards and all they're doing very , very well because people are just spending too much money .
What you got to do is create margin where you're going to say this is the top of the money that I can make right now . Let me spend as less as I possibly can , and it might mean that I have to say no today . Me spend as less as I possibly can , and it might mean that I have to say no today .
I have to say no to things today so that I can say yes to things tomorrow . And so , on the natural side , it's very , very simple . You got to increase your income , reduce your expenses . After you have maximized that , then you got to come over to the faith side and ask yourself this question what comes in the house ? Do I give God the first 10% ?
We call it in our house a tithe . The Bible calls it a tithe Leviticus , malachi , matthew 23 , 23, . Hebrew , chapter 7 , verse number 1 through 7 . The tithe is not an Old Testament thing . It is a principle of priority . It is not an expense . It has to do with the first fruits of where you put your trust in .
When you begin to give God the first 10% , you now step out of a bad economy over into heaven's economy , which qualifies you for the window of heaven . Blessing it doesn't say God's not promising you money , he's promising you the windows of heaven . Blessing , the blessing of the Lord maketh rich and it addeth no sorrow .
The blessing of the lord , the empowerment of god for you to succeed is really what you need . So you have the tithe , and the offering is everything above the top . So you have to . There's all kinds of different giving , their systematic giving , their spontaneous giving , their sacrificial giving . But you have to develop in your heart where I'm going to trust god .
I'm just going to preach this thing you are like going for it I to help this person . I want to help everybody who's listening to this right now with your money .
This is the most thoroughly answered question ever .
There's too many people that love Jesus , but they are broke and struggling because they are breaking simple principles and there's a scripture that says the children of the world are more wise than the children of light in certain things .
And there's people that don't care nothing about Jesus and they're going to buy more Hennessy and more weed and more everything else . And here you are . You love Jesus , but you're struggling simply because of things you do not know . And the supernatural and the natural when they come together .
We've seen year after year God would tell us where to invest and what to do . So if you do that you understand generosity and giving , and you target your seed and you understand that he gives seed to the sower , he multiplies your seed sown then you begin to say , okay , now , what can I get in ? That's a business or an investment ? Is it flipping houses ?
Is it getting in the stock market ? And now , because you have the anointing , God will begin to lead you and now you go from that fixed income where you now have other investments and stuff like that and you build and you get out of the hole and you can do it . But I'm talking about you got to listen to podcasts about finances .
You got to hang out with other people that understand generosity and giving , because birds of a feather flock together . Most folk don't know anything . So that was . You felt it was too much .
I don't think it was too much . It was just a lot , no , but I think it was needed .
¶ Guiding Children Through Life's Challenges
What you said was good , it was golden . Yeah , there's times where you're talking and I'm like , oh my God , it was just from my perspective . I was like , wow , I've been sitting here for a while . Should I say something ?
I mean it is right , I mean I did give him a mini message , but I just wanted , I just felt , but I felt it . You know , I'm saying I felt that question I because I can really relate to that through my life journey .
Yeah , you hear it's , you know , you've been there and a lot of people . I know what it's like to have . Yeah , nothing , yeah , and .
I know what it's like to have abundance , yeah , and I know God's plan for his people . But the devil's telling so much from people and this guy's depressed and he doesn't have to be , he just needs vision .
I'm so glad you didn't quit in that time , though , and in that season , um , because you really led us out of it . Well , now you know . So I , um , was overcoming depression and fighting depression and anxiety and years of just abuse and things like that , and while I was doing that , you were fighting a financial battle . You know you were fighting .
you know , like okay , how am I going to provide for my family ? I still am . Yeah , you know what I'm saying , just at a different level , just at a different level , a whole different level , a whole different level .
But it's still there , yeah , and you have to speak the word of god . Yeah , believe the word of god , surround yourself with people , I mean in all transparency .
Um , we just made a move to another house and I decided to move out of this house while carrying both houses at the same time to fix up one house . So I have two houses that I was carrying and this one house was hurting me bad , hurting me bad and I'm sitting there and everything that I just shared , um , I sowed a seed towards it .
I believed God over .
I prayed over it .
We just got under contract yesterday and when this closes it's going to put us in a very blessed place . I already know exactly what I want to give to the kingdom I'm so excited about it but I know that fight , so whether it was when I had nothing or when , but it's the same principles yeah , it's the same thing , just on a different level .
It's being faithful over the least , and he'll make you rule over the much , but you got to start with being faithful over the least right because you're going to have to learn to be faithful . If you can't be faithful over this little bit , right , you know what I mean what ? What that means for me is to okay , I have a little bit right now .
How do I steward this little bit ? Because then you'll learn how to steward them much .
It's just the same principles , just a little more or less . So good , all right , we'll move on . Excuse me everybody . It says my children are both teenagers . They seem to be uninterested in the things of God , no matter how hard I try . How can I lead them to God without being too pushy and making them run away ?
I'm going to give you 10 minutes on this one . I'm going to give you 10 . I don't even need 10 minutes .
We have teenagers . We have three teenagers and I would just say don't be discouraged if you've brought them up or even bringing so for us and our children . We've brought them up in the ways of God . They don't know any other way except God's way .
Okay , but they , they're going to learn , they're going to make mistakes , they're going to be curious about things , and while we will , we'll be there to guide them . I don't think we should be discouraged when they , you know , want to . I guess , like our kids , they're not really bad kids . They're not , you know whatever but they don't . They're not like .
Oh , I woke up this morning and I spent an hour in the word with God and then I worshiped for another hour and you know , all I want to do is praise God forever . They're just . I don't know if you're expecting them to be like that . I don't know any child that's really like that . Any teenager I mean . There's a lot of teenagers on fire for God .
I mean , I do . I do know some , but I'm just saying I don't know what your measuring tool is and how spiritual they're being .
I would like to give a little direct answer to this . The number one thing you can do is exemplify it before them . So she says they're uninterested in the things of God , a lot more is caught than taught .
So let them see you worship , let them see you go to church , let them see your joy , let them see you apologize when you've messed something up , let them see you love , and then have spiritual conversations with them and treat it almost like that's a seed that you're sowing , believing that God will give the increase in the right season .
Absolutely , parenting is not easy . It's really , really hard . And don't they say like at first , like there's a season where it's like you're telling them everything to do . Then there's a season where it's like you're coaching them between ages 13 and 18 . And then there's a season where you're like more of a friend , confident .
I can't think of what the stages are . So it just depends on how old your children are what they need from you . Like , we have teenagers and a young adult , and now we've kind of come into what do you think about this ? Why do you think that ?
Where do ?
you get that from and we're having conversations with them to try to lead them into correct perspectives . And so pray for your children , exemplify before them , see if you can continue to put them in situations where there are other people their age that live godly . God will do the rest . This person wrote in here . Check this one out .
It says how should I approach talking to my children about sensitive or difficult topics from a biblical perspective ?
sensitive or just difficult topics from a how should I approach it ? Um , I don't know if I have it my . You know what I've done with our kids . I just do it , I do it , you know so if I'm if I'm talking to a five-year-old , I talk to them , you know , from a five-year-old perspective .
They don't need to know more than what they need to know , just the basics .
Yeah , well , we taught our kids from the beginning my boy , you have a penis , that's what God gives a boy To our girls . You have a vagina that's what God gives a girl . And then , age appropriately , we use . What is that Anatomy , you know ?
We call it it what it is , so it's not spooky , it's not weird , and we teach our kids based upon their age , right through the front door . This is what sex is . This is how it happens . This is how babies are made . This is why God intended sex between a married man and a married woman . For these reasons , you are worth the wait . You will be tempted .
So at age 12 , probably 10 , 11 , I'm asking my son have you had an erection ? What's that ? It's when your penis is like this oh yeah , okay , this is how you handle that feeling . This is what you do with it .
So I'm not sure what you think are difficult conversations , but to me that all can be difficult or it all can be easy , because God made us all . So when it comes to sexuality . I'm talking right from the beginning . We see a commercial or show and they're trying to persuade us and desensitize us to that . This is the norm .
While the commercial is on OK , stop right there .
See that right there , that's not what God says , right yeah , you know God's word says this right here . Okay , violence is happening and it's not just though it's , it's everything . We're just continue and it's not .
So I think if I had to um coin our style , style of parenting , and not saying it is a good , bad or indifferent , I would call it spirit led parenting . You know , we're not super structured , like Bible study every Thursday at three with the kids , but we just have consistent conversations as they are needed all the time .
Oh yeah 100% of the 24 , seven , three , 65 spirit led conversations . I'm walking in a room and I'm feeling the atmosphere . I'm walking by them . Hey , you good , what's happening with you ? Just all the time , just spirit led conversations .
Yeah , and I think you know also from a young age . You know we always talk . I love what you said , like we teach them our body parts , because most kids they say well , you know where's your cheeks , where's your eyes , where's your nose ? Okay , where's your vagina ? This is a body part . This is nothing to be ashamed about . This is nothing .
That body part Nobody touches it Anybody other than ?
mommy touch . Well , you know what I'm saying , right ? Nobody touches , that we don't show this to anybody . This is private . That's why we wear our underwear . That's why we wear our panties . You know like they , so we talk to them on their level . All they know about having babies is that mommies have babies . That's all they know .
The baby is in mommy's belly .
Yeah , until a certain age , when they need to know more , and then we'll we'll give them more as their age appropriate . And one thing I think that we've done is we're always a little ahead of the curve .
We don't want them to hear stuff in the locker room or on their phones or somewhere before they hear it from us , so we're probably just a tad ahead of the curve . You know what I'm saying . So what some people would probably have at age 12 , I'm probably having a conversation I'm starting at a little bit at age 10 .
I'm just a tad ahead of the curve , you know . So that's good , All right . This person wrote in and says I cannot get along with my mother-in-law . She's so rude and disrespectful . My husband completely cut ties with his family because every time they came around they would be disrespectful towards me .
We just had a child and they didn't even care to be a part of it . How can I deal with this ? Any advice on hopefully bringing the relationship to a common ground ? I don't want my child to not have a relationship with his grandparents . Wow .
Wow , I would say you know some people . You know I get it that you want them to have a relationship with their grandparents , but it's not going to make them or break them .
You know , I would rather my children not have a relationship with their grandparents than to be around their toxic grandparents and that toxicity get into my children or then to be negatively influenced by their grand . I don't want that right um , and I know that that's a lot , but yeah , that's just kind of you know .
So if your , if , if your husband kind of cut family off because they are being toxic to his family , like I mean , I could kudos bro .
Yeah , like what are you ? You know , what do you mean ?
You mean that they are that immature and that rude or insulting or toxic that you can't even be around . You know they can't be around you without insulting you . Yeah , you don't need to be in their presence . God bless them .
I mean , if I looked at it at another angle and of course we don't have all the information it seems like she wants a relationship and she wants her son to have a relationship . All you can do is try to sit down with the people in the family and say , hey , this is how you've been toxic in the past . I would like to have a relationship with you .
Can you agree not to do one , two , three and four ? If they say yes , all you can do is , in little doses , start to see if they can hold that word . But what we found is that if people are toxic like that , it usually , is going to take a move of God .
It's going to be hard to change people , and here's the thing that you don't want to do . You can have that conversation , but I would guess that they're not going to change unless they have a move of God in their heart and then get even more upset with you .
They're not going to change , and so what you don't want to do is make the mistake of longing for your children to have this relationship with their grandparents relationship with their grandparents . And now your child grows up with this rejection or this ungodly like yeah , my grandparents , I don't have a relationship with them because they don't like me .
Like , don't put that on , your kids Don't know they don't need anyone but their mom and dad to love them . If they have their grandparents in their life , great , but if they don't , you know that's OK . They have God and God will keep them . I think sometimes , when we yearn for those other relationships , we start things in our hearts and with our children .
That's ungodly , and so I would just say beware of that .
Wow , this person wrote in and said what should I do if I feel disconnected from my church community ?
Okay , oh wow , I'm sorry that you feel disconnected . I don't know . For me I would probably get plugged in . If you feel disconnected , I would guess you may not be serving in your church community in your church .
So maybe people who I served with I served in kids and I became like they were my friends , they were the people that I hung out with , they were the people that I loved . Then , if you are in church and you're on a serve team already but you're not connected with anyone , maybe you need to go find another team to serve on .
You know , find something else to do . Maybe you're just bored .
Yeah , the word disconnected is so big because we don't know why you're disconnected . Yeah , I think as a take the humble route , I would say you first got to locate you and say am I disconnected because of me Meaning that has something happened in my heart ? Am I offended about something ? Me meaning that has something happened in my heart ?
Am I offended about something I didn't understand , a direction I pulled back . I didn't want to let people
¶ Finding Hope and Healing After Loss
? Am I the reason that I'm disconnected . Is it a spiritual disconnection or is it a relational disconnection ? There's so much there . If you're at a church where it just feels like I'm not growing , I'm not connecting relationally , well , God might be leading you somewhere else . And I think that's okay too . How you handle that is what it's really all about .
Do you get counsel on it ? Do you leave with a blessing ? Do you leave to where you could come back if you needed to ?
Sometimes I think people do outgrow churches and sometimes I think that churches outgrow them , meaning that the church is moving at a speed and that person is just not there , and sometimes they should be able to catch up , but for whatever reason they're just not .
So it can go vice versa and I think God's called us to peace and you can do peaceable things in a healthy way . So disconnected if it's a spiritual disconnected how is your posture under the word ? Is the word of God being preached ? It's just such an open-ended question .
I always take the humble approach and I just feel like if God has placed me in a place and I know that's where I'm supposed to be , then there's adjustments to the temperature of my heart or the posture that I have in the church that will make me connected again . I take that responsibility .
It's just like a plug that you plug into the wall If it's disconnected , if you're disconnected from your laptop and then all of a sudden your laptop goes out , it's just like , oh man , I'm not plugged , you lost all of your power the moment you plug back in .
You just plug back in right and so how do you plug back into church , serve , get involved talk to leaders pastors go to small group .
Whatever you sit down with people , humble yourself in apologize to people , go to church , sit on the front row and , um , if you feel like , well , you've done all that and something , okay , well then pray and talk to your leadership about finding another church and see if that's a part of it as well , I'll do one more and then we'll be done .
This person says I've experienced a lot of loss in my life . Family members seem to pass away left and right . So much grief . How can I find hope and healing after experiencing loss ?
For me personally , I just don't quit . You just can't quit . You can't be like , oh , I'm going to quit going to church , I'm going to quit reading my Bible , I'm going to quit doing the things of God that keep you close to Him . I wouldn't quit in those things .
But if you can persevere through the hard times in the middle of a storm , kind of like , well , how did I heard somebody say , or there's a saying that's like , don't change direction in the middle of a storm , like just keep going .
So if you're going in one direction and all of a sudden the storm comes and you're like , oh God , I don't know which direction to go . Should I turn left or right ? Just keep going in the direction that he told you last . And so don't quit in the middle of this storm of people dying and a whole lot of grief and things like that .
Just stay on track , stay plugged into God , keep doing the things that you know you should be doing . The pain is going to heal . The broken heart . God heals broken hearts . It will get better .
Yeah , you know , the Bible says that we grieve , but we don't grieve like those who have no hope .
Right .
So it's okay for you to grieve and it's okay for you to be sad . Just don't stay there . Yes , grief is just a natural step of loss , you know , but you don't want to get stuck . You don't want to stay there . One thing that's helped me is just to have a biblical view of death .
So if you have family members that's died and they're saved , they were believers in Jesus . The Bible says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord . So it's like heaven's gain and it's your loss .
But the reality that they're in a better place , like literally , like for real , like they're really , really , really good right now and you'll see them again , is actually what can breathe a level of life on you .
Number two , when really bad things happen to me , I have two choices to get mad at the devil or to get mad at God , and getting mad at God never works . What you want to do is to get mad at the devil and serve God for the rest of your life . So for the people who've passed , you can start memorials .
You can say , in their name I'm going to lead 10 people to Jesus . I'm going to do something to hurt the devil bad . I'm not going to let him beat me up and get sad . I'm going to use this as fuel to the fire to make sure that people around me are born again saved , and that I contribute to community .
And I also think number three that when you give yourself to helping people that are in a worse off situation than you , many times your joy returns with your perspective . So if we sulk and all we can see is our loss and our grief , it's gonna have a woe . Is me effect Like , oh my God , I've lost three or four relatives , five relatives , oh my goodness .
But if you find people who maybe have lost their limbs , maybe they've lost multiple children , maybe they've lost a whole family , maybe if you visit some orphanages or foster care homes and you'll see other people that you can help , all of a sudden you'll say , my God , I have a life that's worth living . I don't want to live another day .
And I think my fourth piece of advice would be therapy . You need somebody to walk through grief with , and that's okay . Get church , family , get some therapists around you and just know that joy is coming in the morning . And so I feel like just praying over you guys , because I felt your questions and thank you so much for your questions .
Send more in at info at mylifeorg , my life churchorg , and we will try our best to get to them when we can . But , father , in Jesus name , I thank you for every person that's watching this , this podcast , by accident , that they hung on this long for this prayer , and I just pray for those who are brokenhearted . That you heal the brokenhearted .
I pray for those who are experiencing depression , sadness and grief , and even the question on if I should go on . I pray that that spirit and that lie is removed from them right now and that they see that there's a better day ahead . I thank you that the joy of the Lord is our strength .
So we prophesy the oil of joy over you right now , dripping from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet , in the name of Jesus , and we just pray right now for those who have problems in their family , with extended family , that you have wisdom , that you have grace , those of you all who have financial problems , that God's making a way out .
Of no way the same God that brings forth streams in the deserts is able to bring you financial blessing even in a bad economy , and so I just pray for grace , for supernatural favor , for the wisdom of God to be yours , in Jesus name , amen . Well , guys , we're out of time for today . If you enjoyed today , let us know . We love to hear from you .
We're expanding our little family . We're growing . People from all over the world are tuning in and we're just so excited . We always say God , just send us the people that can be blessed by our content . We release a new show every Thursday at 3 pm .
We would love for you to hit the subscribe button or the icon on YouTube so you can be the first to get the content whenever it's released . Right now , right now right now we are in conference . We're at a conference called a live conference , and tickets will go on sale tonight .
Okay , and so if you want to get hold of your ticket to come with us for next year this year was sold out eight , nine months in advance . I think that this year , next year , is going to sell out very quickly .
You can jump over to our Web site and , just if it's not online right now , just register so you can be the first , within the next 24 hours , to get hold of your ticket . Come to a live conference . It's an encounter conference where you'll meet Jesus in another way . That's what we believe and you'll not leave the same way that you've came .
It happens the second week of October . You can find more information on our website and just know that we're praying for you . We love you . We want to hear from you . We'll see you next Thursday , peace .