S4 - Ep. 44 - Allan McLeod

Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and they termino and gay.

We want to send you off in style. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine?

Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do your need you ride?

Ride? Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgara.

Just off the heels of a real good solo episode recording. We are back with a guest that we're picking up. We're doing this one starting with the guests almost immediately. But first, Karen, how are you my friend?

I'm really good. I'm doing some kind of intensively driving right now. There's a hill that we're about to go down a little bit, so it's not.

A good time to ask what you've been up to.

Oh this guy? Yeah, hi guy. We know this guy.

Yes, we know this guy from many things, including a very memorable drunk history episode. You know I'm from clubs and colleges throughout the country. He's getting in the wrong door right now, and it's tinted windows. It's totally understandable. So put your ears together. Put your ears together right now for our Today's wonderful guest, say it, Ian McLeod, Today's wonderful guest, Alan McLeod, By Alan, Sorry about that snaffo there.

Sorry, I thought you were being dramatic, and then I was like playing the party.

There is a time and I hate to start with a story like this, and I'll welcome you in a minute, Alan. But one time, after working all week with this comic on the last show the Sunday night we had done like six shows, I drew that blank. I got hit with an invisible laser today and it's been messing up things. I couldn't remember his name in that moment, and I panicked and I just doubled over, feigning abdominal pain.

Oh did it get you out of it?

Yes?

It works.

Yeah. I was like, I'm sorry, I just felt some stomach pain. Everyone put your hands together for Kenny Smith. It was the weirdest thing and a problem I have, Alan, I know you well. I have stories. I follow up about interactions we've had in the past. I only love you and speak kindly of you. I'm sorry. I don't know who this Ian fuck is.

I usually get like an Alex or something that so Ian is a real step up.

A Yeah, I mean it's cool. Yeah, Alex, it's kind of clunky. Ian Ian's got the juice.

Ian zero allan Alex has nothing to do with it.

Well, he said, yeah, he said he'd gotten Alex. Sorry, yeah, no, you thought I did it again?

Yeah, I really did.

Ellen. Have you been my friend?

I've been great. I've been great. I'm so happy to be here and thank you so much for this ride.

Oh absolutely.

This is an episode where we are actually serving as a functional podcast and taking you to the best place in Glendale, the Americana.

That's right. Yeah, what do.

You plan on doing at the Americana?

I'm going to see a movie and i'max.

Yeah, I think that's what I would have guessed. Which movie?

Do you want to talk about it?

Sure? I mean, I'm not I have no I don't know why I'm saying. I have no affiliation with them. I'm just going to see a movie.

You're not.

I was invited to go see no, I it's the new Apes movie, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Who uh, that's that's that's that's gosh. I guess they might have me rooting for humans in this one. Really yeah, I mean, you know, I think that they've the Apes of fully My understanding is the Apes of fully taking control of the planet fitness or whatever that they're they're you know, they've broken into and.

They take over a gym.

Yeah, they got they became the gym.

Rats, just of this one location.

Not the franchise, No, no, not, Oh my gosh, that would be what a budget.

I mean, the headsets.

I had no interest in, uh, any Planet of the Apes movie because after Heston, why bother? You know, uh, such an impressive man.

But on every level, I love every every thing he fought for. Yeah that in the movies, in in life.

Love killing that little clip where that we're getting used to promote I hope you know we But I randomly watched the other night The Rise, the last one where they are fully like yelling and talking. I don't know if that it's been a thing, and then you watched it last night, just the other night, three nights ago, and I'm I was so into it. I got so emotional. I'm like, this is one of the better movies I've seen. Oh and I one hundred percent wanted to also see

My friend Mookie who invited me. He's a big he's a big eight Movies proponent. He's he's always been the guys like these are good and so you know, when someone really stands up for move for like a franchise or whatever, and so yeah, I mean every time one comes out, we generally go see the whatever the eight movie is with Mookie.

Mookie Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've not seen him in uh longer than I've not seen you twelve years fifteen, Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Now wait, so Chris, we did, like I think probably what would you call it? Was that like a pilot presentation he did. It was and I that was my first I mean, that was my first time meeting you. I believe it was.

Yeah, we had not met. It was a pilot presentation based on my experience with a skate shop in Missoula, Montana that to deal with like the there was a dip in the popularity of skateboarding and the shop started selling Frisbees for Frisbee golf, kayaks, rollerblades. It became like this general action sports thing. They were trying to make money. I understood, but I was upset because I wanted it to be a core skate shop and that wasn't how we pitched it. We're like, it'll be great to have

Like a shopper or something. Yeah, yeah, and I.

Said, we have one that's opened, but it's been you know, it's been watched. And then you said how many people have watched it? I'm like, I don't know. I'd like to do an inventory. It was just a funny choice because you are an improv actor and it really stood out at this understated moment was like really a standout moment.

You were great in it, living hell to be on the show.

Well, you can tell there was a lot of pressure on Chris. You really wanted to work and it was really coming out of this character. I think you really channeled it and you're frustrated. Yeah, grumpy clerk, yes, manager role, you know, that is not at all that was. That was your choice, and that was a great choice because that was that's a fun such a fun character to be the purest the skate purist.

You know.

Yeah, it was. It was really fun, and we thought it was a way to have guest athletes on and have them read a line, you know, or act in it. I really fought for that to be on the network because Fuel TV was all action sports and they had a bunch of comedy like animated things. But I really wanted to do a live action, scripted thing, and I fought for it. I would be in meetings like we got to do Skate Shop, the TV show starring Alan McCloud, and they didn't they didn't listen to me.

Well, yeah, maybe there's like a spin off or something.

Maybe I should pitch it to more of like an FX type of place or character based more narrative base.

Yes, this was before things like Always Sunny and Philadelphia were happening or maybe at the start of it. M hmm, and it was. I really had high hopes for it. I really believed in that thing.

But you were kind of trying to have a second show where this is supposed to be doing. It's so fucking confusing over here, Alan, I'm really pissed.

I mean, hey, you could just pull over to the side of the road and I'd have a ball. So I'm in no hurry.

It's hard. There's a lot of like hook turns and ship.

Oh yeah, no, that's I like this neighborhood for all the switchbacks.

Yeah, people can't. There's no straightaways where people can just follow you from Yeah.

No, no, there's always a little something little, a little yeah to run down and get away.

It's like speed hiking.

Yeah.

In a car, it's great. Yeah.

I've jumped into there were passing through the Arroyo Seco over the not through it, over it sorry, cars filling with water. Yeah, I jump over this railing to get into the This is the Arroyo Seco rip he then, yeah, this is the.

Old Arroyo Seco, the old Seco And much like the La River is it? Do you know it to be a naturally existing river.

It once was. Yeah, it goes up more into the I guess the San Gabriel Mountains and uh, it's where it flows, you know it flows. I've been nurtured many many ancient civilizations. Yes, before it was all filled with concrete. And speaking of.

History, we're about to get California's oldest.

Freeware and most killings.

Most dangerous. Yes, So if we need a moment of silence so you can look around this. I mean this is a neck breaker right here.

This especial.

You gotta have, you gotta have. I mean E. T would have a hard time turning his head to look around.

That quarters so ridiculous, so dangerous.

Yeah, it's really and and it's almost like a weird competition. People drive in that right hand lane just to make it hard for you.

Yeah, to see it's yeah you got you got to ride in the middle lane or the or the far left lane up until the last minute.

Yeah, I've always been amazed that this exists and everyone's okay with it.

I mean getting off is just as crazy, because it's just like you go from sixty to five.

And yeah, no temporary lanes, no off ramps are like ten feet long and immediately hairpin turn. When I moved to Texas, which has every freeway there has killed the most people. It's just Houston Austin. They have crazy freeways. And one of the things I learned when I moved there was the guy that designed them had had off himself. I guess out of guilt.

Oh no, yes, with the design.

What the freeway system and I thirty five one, I remember, but they My earliest stand up was just talking about the freeways there, like what are we all thinking? You had to cross like there was two lane frontage roads, so you would have to cross an oncoming lane of traffic that had a yield sign for them to get off the freeway, so there was a potential to head

Yeah, that was real that.

I felt like you really tapped into some deep memories there. That's you know, that's what this place does to you. After a long time, you try to pass through a little pocket and you just are flooded, flooded with memories, good and bad.

Trauma based memories, bad ones.

Where are you from originally Alabama?

Oh?

Yeah, I grew up mostly in Mobile, Alabama.

You say mobile a lot of people mobile? Yeah, corrected me, it's mobile.

Mobile.

Yeah, that sounds right. That's what I had hanging over my crib.

And the person that's from there saying it's right. Yeah.

So these guys mobile, they oh, maybe it was mobile.

I've heard people say mobile, but right, I've always said mobile.

Well that you I believe you. These guys are just so what does the governor say?

Yes, oh my god, the governor of Alabama? K Ivy, Well, I don't know, but she would. You know what, there's several videos of her, k Ivy if you look up, gosh, there's at least there's got to be at least two videos of her doing a press conference. She's she's kind of this this very stereotypical or prototypical like old southern lady who just has the most insane, cartoonish Southern accent

Are there YouTube compilations, I'm hoping.

If they're. I mean, I'm I'm trying to learn how to do imovies.

So I yeah, if I could just give you an afternoon project, please assemble these moments.

Do you think it's like do you think she's truly unaware?

Do you think because that I used to do that when I would drink a lot of diet coke, where like for you, you don't really see it.

At all, unconscious reaction.

I like speaking that way.

I think when you are a certain age, maybe because like I do it now, like a burple just fly out of me at the even at the dinner table. Yeah, and it takes me a second ago. Oh gosh, oh, sorry, excuse me. And because I don't even notice it, so I would imagine if I'm, you know, twice my age, it's just gonna be I'm just gonna be letting it fly.

And then she says, she doesn't go yeah, I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, there's no acknowledgement of it.

That is almost what makes me appreciate it.

I know, I do. That's the thing that's probably the one, maybe the one thing I like about her.

Right after that, it kind of goes downhill. Wow, yeah, I love I need to look that up. I love the improbability of certain comics to tell their rowdy stand up material and at the end just just punctuate it with a burp. I've seen that a few times and it has made me laugh. And it shouldn't. Like many Jerry Lewis moments, I can't control what makes me look.

You can't. You shouldn't apologize.

It's not a lot with Texas comics.

They just sorry. So it's like a story about partying and then or getting mad.

It's a heckler. I grew up with heckling was a norm, and it's becoming one. So I got gig Or burp's ready. But I many comics would get into an antagonizing an argument with an audience person and then burp at the end. And I know I'm thinking of someone specific, but I can't remember. Maybe it was Dug Stanope, I don't I literally.

Was gonna guess.

Yeah, I swear to god, Yeah, he could fire off a burp if it's comedically timed.

I remember seeing an improv show years and years ago that the actor Brendan Hunt was in Who's a friend of mine? I don't know if he's on ted Lasso

Yeah, that's a dangerous road, I mean usually it was completely appropriate. Yeah, yeah, I envy that too. I mean a burp gone south. You're not going to just stop throwing it start throwing up, but that trick can go south if you force it. Oh yeah, it's impressive when someone else that kind of control.

Yeah, you have to really know yourself.

Yeah, it shrink drilla kegles and things.

Yeah yeah, yeah, Well his pants were full of ship, right, so we forgive. You know, the audience was very forgiving.

The audience.

Are you this was pre lasso?

Yeah that's yeah. You used to be able to get away with that stuff.

Yeah we've been canceled.

Yeah, no, everything's thought in se Are you still doing things that UCB and live performance and improv like a little bit here and there?

Not a ton like I don't have like a I don't have like a group like you need like a like a crew, And I haven't really like my you know, I was on several what they call Harald teams THECB for many years and sitting in on shows, and that's what I occasionally do now, is sitting on the odd show.

But why do you think you don't have a group anymore? Let's get real.

A plane crash they all know, well, you know, I mean these things like they have. You know, I'd say I never got on one that got promoted, like after a year or whatever. They would always get I kept popping onto groups the teams that didn't get promoted to like regular shows, right, And so I feel like most of those teams that got promoted are still together, weirdly, because that's how much everybody loves, you know, doingccess those success So yeah, no, I I I'm not so, I'm

Do you know?

I mean that's my problem. I don't ask.

Yeah, you can also do you know, I mean you're you know, you do stand up and you can hang in there alone, which is right wild to me. Every time I try to do an open mic, it's just the most humbling thing I've ever done. It keeps me grounded.

Yeah, you have to skip open mics and goes straight to middling. It's much easier to open micsert garbage. But also I wonder if you could call up oh not stay in my land. You could call ups young people and pitch them you're building an improv group around yourself and you call it the albatross, and then it's like I could be the reason that you don't move forward in impact.

Yeah, I've done it for others.

Yeah, always ragtag groups.

Yeah, if you want someone to blame for dragging you down, then you found the right guy.

I like that I'm being this casually insulting to you.

And I don't know you at all, but you can just tell I have that dark cloud over it.

Yeah.

No, it's just one of those things where I don't know, you know, it really is like if I anybody that's that's not the only it's not like the only teams that are doing shows at UCB where they graduated teams.

And that's okay.

It's kind of like I I do still you know, have the educationally to do it. But also I fall asleep when I sit down after nine Yeah, yeah, don't even know, like that's my brain just switches off.

You get your blood sugar check.

I should go to a doctor, Yeah I did. Yeah, I won't go into that list. Yeah, I'm the same right now. I've been taking sort of a break from worrying about it and enjoying other things in life because I know comedy is always going to be there and I can always get back to it and get good at it again or be good at it, whichever happens. I don't know yet. That's the future.

What do you mean taking a break from stand up?

Yeah, just the like you said, the going up four or five times a week and those shows, Like the environment just isn't the same. So much has changed. I agree also with the wanting to sleep at night thing. That's new to me. I used to peak at night. I'm like, my brain doesn't work till like ten pm, yeah or seven pm. And yeah, I think it's okay. It'll come back whenever you want it to.

Yeah. I had to take a nap like before even this, so yeah, go see a movie. It's like everything requires are so much planning, yes, to accommodate my brain switching off.

You're also someone with a family, and I you know, I know that that takes a lot of time, and people like me, you know, grow renegades who drive through the desert alone at night. I can't even relate. So congratulations, Yeah, like a mad Max.

I have a son who's seven now, and so he's basically he's almost pretty much on his own.

Your son has a famous name. Yeah, what I well, maybe he.

He loving pumpkins.

It's a great name, which my wife was not a fan of. We can go with a kabad, but I don't know about this pumpkin business.

She was like, you push, but uh yeah, Sonny Sonny, he's got Sonny Sonny McLoud.

Yeah, that's a great name.

He'll be Yeah, like a he'll be like maybe like a saxophone player, I mean.

Or a private eye. Oh yeah, wait, wasn't there a show? There was a show called Not Sunny Spoon with the great Mario van Peebles. But a I will figure it out. There's a something you would know. Wasn't there a show with a McLeod something.

Yeah, there was a McLeod who's like a he's I want to say, he was kind of like a cowboy detective or yes, okay, I think it was just called McLeod, but I don't remember it was.

So I've just turned that that crime solving detective indo, your sweet toddler boy. Okay, good, good to know my brain's still working. That's terrific.

I'm in no hurry, by the way, if you're driving around or I don't know how this works.

Yeah, wouldn't show time for this this?

Oh it's not till like eight or something. Oh good? Oh yeah, well no, I'm all good. I'm in the neighborhood where I'm gonna meet up beforehand.

But okay, cool, I've got some other stuff in the area.

Go to the Apple store.

Maybe you could go down computers, Yeah, and the neon Museum, the Neon Museum.

You check out the old signage.

Yeah, I've actually been meaning to do that. There are classes, yeah, Neon signs. There's an old sign that had an animated like a train with puffs of plumes of smoke coming out of it. At this the Spirit Liquor store near my old house. One day it was gone. I thought someone stole it. No, it was off to the museum.

The park.

Yeah, so that's in there, and I would really love to see it. Yeah, it was right next to the Halloway.

Yeah.

Wow, I want to visit these old times.

That's so funny. That a sign that I remember from when I lived in Echo Parks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's iconic. Yeah, I am so old as hell. It's is an old friend. I want to get into Neon. I just that's something I want to do. My dad always wanted to do paintings and then add neon lights to them, and apparently it's an expensive hobby to get into.

Yeah oh yeah, oh yeah, like making me making me, Yeah, flowing a.

Thin tube of glass and manipulating it.

Over it seems like if it's like I don't know, it seems like dealing with mercury and a thermometer or something. Right, Yeah, like you're dealing with some kind of what the like the the T one thousand is made out of right?

Right, it's it seems like everyone your place will blow up and everyone just assume you were a cook. Math, but you were just following here dreams. Yeah, that would be. This wasn't math your last words. I thought it was. He I'm uh, I'm excited for your day, Frankly.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm I'm pumped to be here. It's uh, I don't get to I don't come over to Glendell a ton.

Did you get an a ball of coke?

They ball?

So I got two four balls?

Don't share it out? Okay, no you can.

Did they do it for a lower measurements? Different balls?

That's what the That's what my guy does, no question. I mean he's always in a hurry, and it's always like a whole thing.

He's a little nervous. He's got that guy on the table. Just let him do what he wants.

Yeah, four ball and then goes corner pocket and he puts it in your pants for you. There's certain things I would love to do as a drug dealer mostly jokes, and that that would be a big one, a bucket.

A great drug dealer.

I think. I thank you. I've always thought so, But there's always that you gotta get tough at some point. Well, I'm worried, that's the part I'd like. Yeah, power trip, Yeah, just feeling that and acting on that rage and having it be part of my job.

I think you could do that vocally. Is instill some sort of theory?

Yeah?

Yeah, different?

Yeah, likely, I would just be doing it in a voiceover actor kind of way.

Let's hear it.

Let's hear both of your scary drug dealers.

Okay, Oh, it's funny that I gave you the drugs, but you don't seem to have the money.

How was that?

It's the rise tanger that I like to keep.

Ok Uh, well, I sure, I'm glad you showed up to buy these drugs, but you're fifteen minutes early.

I'm watching Bosh. I like the years. This amount of keeping a tight schedule.

Shows.

See, that's why you're an improv actor. You just brought two storylines, yep. And the specificity that you're always on your phone, You're you're very organized calendar wise, and you're obsessed with the TV show Bosh, which could lead into me talking about never missing a season of Bones. Start a troop. I'm part of your rest.

Here I go. Maybe this is how it happens.

What is a herald, by the way, That is a that is just long form, uh huh. You get a suggestion or a view from the audience and see where it goes.

Right, Yeah, that's that's pretty much it. I mean in the in the Herald, there's like you do basically, you do some sort of an after you get the suggestion, you do an opening, some type of opening where you generate sort of potential areas that you can later pull scene ideas from, and then you do three scenes, the first beats of scenes, and then you have a group

Beats, okay, and this is like a three day event. Just keep on doing.

You're describing a festival. Yeah, and that's what's it. Okay, what's an Armando?

Okay, I do that. That's that's going back. Yeah, that's like I remember I only saw that at like Improv Olympic when I first moved out here. I think it's essentially the same thing. I feel, right, because I feel like that's like Armando whatever his last name is was he he was like an improv guy who kind of started his own thing and then but he was basically doing the same format as somebody else. You know, it's just some old improv beats, right, Yeah, maybe it was

So then what is ass asscat? Where that's my I'm just lee to where I can talk about my involvement as a monology that just.

A little bit more of like anything goes kind of like okay, doing montages of scenes and stuff like that. So you're you're you're definitely having callbacks and you might you know, and you might race through like you know, second and third beats like right, but you're not trying to do like a larger overarching right.

For me, I guess I've always really enjoyed, well, it's kind of self indulgent to be on stage. I would tell stories that maybe had some jokes, which I think the improv group are there like, don't do your jokes, we will we want to have jokes to go to uh because sometimes I would take the obvious thing, so I was bad at it, but it was so fun to watch them play things out and be right about details that I didn't share and guessing what had happened,

You know.

It was it was so fun to watch.

Oh yeah, typically yeah no, I think you can just hang back and and enjoy man, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, soak in that improv.

It's weird though, to be on stage, like it's a show at the Apollo or something. They're they're talking about you and the audience is looking at you sitting there and please stop looking at me, so that won't make me laugh at anything.

The other thing, can you.

See the car behind us with the light on its Is that a policeman or is it a mobile miner? There's a little mining hat on top of that car. It's pass that's one case lamp.

Maybe he doesn't know that his little light is on. But yeah, he's got sort of a little mini flood light.

Yeah, like he's gonna go mudding later, right right.

But it's the tiniest little it's just one inch bigger than a smart car.

It is.

I believe that's a day wound. I mean he's got a he's fully got a bed in the back and everything. He goes camping in that sucker.

Yeah, or he has some sort of there's some vibe about that car that like is an amateur storm chaser or his hobby is finding bodies in the l a river or something. There's like some makeshift. I would love to chew that person's brain. But unfortunately the turning into there.

Oh yeah, you'd look at that turn.

That tight.

That was a tight.

It looks like he might think he's on patrol.

That's what I'm worried about, is that he's trying to pull over teenage girls to tell them that they have to.

Come with him.

Oh yike, So I thought you meant citizen, like he was going to make some arrests, bad.

Law kind of a yeah, well just a little bit, that's all I think of.

Yeah, yeah, because I was.

Like, oh, no, I saw the light and I was like, am I in trouble?

Right? And I was like, you fool.

I'd never fall for that.

Yeah, impersonating officers or sometimes real ones that have scary hobbies. But that's that's just a bunch of documentaries say allegedly allegedly y'all.

Have y'all ever witnessed any kind of like a crazy thing like a van, you know, trying to grab somebody or anything. Oh wow?

While podcasting? Yeah, yeah, that's a good question. I don't know that I've witnessed any near abductions or successful ones if you want to call them a success.

If that's what you consider a success.

We've there's a number of things we've seen on here, a lot of fights, a lot of people getting mad at us. Most recently, someone just stopped in the road and put their knees on the bumper of the car and would not would not leave us alone. Wow, And it was a showdown. And finally some police that happened to be driving by just removed the guy because we didn't know what to do and it was scary. It was like a very intense episode. So things like that

That's not true.

We talk about it a lot. We haven't done anything yet, but we want to help solve some mysteries investigations. I'm not going to actively run into a building. I'm not Ralph Manchio, but I will like.

A like a third responder.

Yeah, put a little light on your roof, you know, that's what that guy was.

He was Also, did you notice he was very tall and skinny ichabog crane style, yes, driving that tiny car.

Yes.

Yeah. He reminds me of my son.

Yep. And that's what you call a Harald great, you know.

But I don't like people that don't do callbacks. There's my new take. Remind me I've been here a.

While, you know, Alan, what's the most recent movie you've seen in the theater before this?

Apes?

Movie. It's the other Apes movie. Okay, sorry, I.

Went and saw Civil War or how was it?

I liked it? War is a movie name the.

Civil War movie? You know what I'm talking about movie?

Sure, I remember the salastin Dunce so Dunce.

Uh and uh, I can't remember. I can't remember anybody else's name. Yeah, yeah, it those two you've got there. It's good. It's good. I mean it's like very it's dreadful. I mean it's very like, uh, it's bleak.

Do they do they have drummers in it?

It's not.

I don't think it's a period piece, chriss. I think it's about like some sort of wrong the title.

Well, they have like a guy who walks around, marches around with a drum machine.

Okay, but it's modern day yeah, okay, what but.

He serves the same purpose as a little drummer boy.

Yeah, helping soldiers march to the rhythm of the beat.

Yeah. Back then he'll do a drop it's like a long bill's yeah, and also has control like a DJ of the lights and stuff.

Well, that sounds like a great.

It's the first married couple to fall into a k hole together. It's an amazing documentary the.

Only way to enjoy that music. Wow, maybe I'll watch it. It's the civil war about their their unshaked their marriage.

Uh like it's a sort of a civil war of the roses.

Yeah, I wrote, Yes, it is.

All of the movies gauge the reaction there.

I was, Okay, there's the guy that wrote that and wrote My Cousin Vinnie and some other movies that are all about uh, couples falling apart and then fighting over money, and most of his movies dirty rotten scoundrels. He was sitting next to me on an airplane and uh, just pointing out people that he because we were all going to Aspen. I was going for a comedy festival. He's like, see that, see that guy there? Yeah, he's an asshole. He's my neighbor. He was just confiding in me to

Uh?

I don't know. I wrote some movies, haven't written when anything late, Like he just started talking shit about himself.

Yes, I just like he was just a regular.

But I'm like my cousin Vinnie, that's a that's a classic.

I mean, and that would have been enough.

Yeah, and War the Roses was very well received.

Yeah, I mean we're talking about it.

Yeah.

Gosh, I pulled it right out and said it, said it out there, yeah, right into the world.

It's the only reason I bring this guy up. And but then I had my show and he watched, and he sent me notes, He mailed me notes about my act. What I could what I could do better?

Was he right?

Uh? Probably, He's like a lot of your jokes, I didn't hear them because you were rambling or moving on to the next subject without finishing. But I like your loose style. It was all just I'm realizing now failed insults.

But uh, he could have said nothing.

Yes, now you realize that all those relationship movies he was writing about, he was the asshole in the situation.

Yeah, that is the I got because most of the people he's like, see that asshole over there, they were women that he had maybe dated. Sure, Yeah, and I was like, I'm uncomfortable, but please keep talking.

This is sultry.

Is like a riding next to episode of Dynasty, but the one that is a regret though, because at one point he said, hey, have you ever want to learn more about screenwriting or have any ideas? Like he reached out and of course that's something I would have liked to do, but like like you, Ellen, Alan, and I I was scared to ask for something. I let it go.

Yeah, yeah, there you go. You know, we got to get better about that.

Yeah, I gotta ask.

Well, but may I just argue for your past self to say you kind of had the sense to not become a partner with that guy?

Yes, what could happen there?

Yeah? I uh, maybe his sensibilities wouldn't line up well.

Also, if he does, doesn't get that your whole mumbly thing and dropping jokes and not hitting them directly is stylistic.

Well, you're a mind reader, because that's what it was. It's like, no, you just insulted what I do. That's what me. Wanting to write a thing would be an extension of that unfinished sentences on paper.

A lot of ellipses.

Oh man, I do use I overuse those three dots.

Guys, what do you think the modern animal is as a store? Do you think it's food? Do you think it's a set.

I'm very worried, and I think I'm right that it's not about animals at all. It's a place for humans to eat, because if you think about it, with our cars and our body hair, we are just modern animals.

We're the modern animals.

Yeah, which is a perfect you know intro to play. Yeah, what is the setting of this one? Are they in the John Goal or are they in this city like Jason?

It looks like based on the trailer, there was a sort of a glimpse of, you know, one of my favorite things, like a post apocalyptic city that nature has retaken. Yeah, just like a mossie. I mean it's kind of like what I would like and what I always admire when I in a town that's got like vertical shrubbery or whatever, like there just plants that are growing on walls. It's a thing, you know. Yeah, I love that vibe. I like when nature kind of the rewilding or something that happens.

You know. Now, do you like that better or do you like drain the ocean? Better in terms of satisfying. Those are two different shows, I believe on the History Channel. One is like When the Earth takes back over or something like that, and the other one is Drain the Ocean, but they both watch cgi Have you never watched these shows?

No heard about Drain the Ocean.

Drain the Ocean is like for me because I of the what's the actual show called. It's called When Earth.

It's almost like when We're finally gone, Like it's when Earth finally takes over and they just show you like Ivy in New York City or whatever.

So satisfying. But then then the most.

Recent version of that is Drained the Ocean, which is just like, here's all the shelves.

Here's where all the shelves are, the.

Shell, like the not like a Kia shelves, the the mantle of the earth.

Yes, the underwater. Here's all the underwater I don't know, mountains or whatever that you can't.

See and you will never see it.

And they're computer generated with actual footage, I think fully computer Wow, yeah, I would love.

That, like a dinosaur show. But just the ocean.

That's neat. It's pretty cool because that's that's that's the last front that's all. That's almost the final frontier, you know, the ocean.

Mm hmmm, yeah, we gotta figure that out. We gotta get down there.

You know.

I like to snorkel and stuff, So do you really I know a lot about that.

Yeah, there's tons of rocks down there.

Yeah. Have you seen some of this out there? You just kind of poke your head down. You're not even all the way down, but you put on a snorkel. Boy, you see some ship, see some stuff. Have you seen me?

There's like a manta ray drone that they're sending down to like the deepest steps.

Of the ocean.

Oh my god, I can't wait.

We're about to find out what the's going on.

And I think it's a new discovery. There is a shark that just looks like a puddle of moss that has an open mouth and eyes like it kind of looks like a sting ray. But and I don't know if it was just covered with liking, but it was green, and it was flat and as.

A giant mouth.

And I'm realizing right now it might be uh a photo chopped, But it was a type of shark that just layers on the ground and waits to eat things, and of course is in the depths down where you know where those fish with head lamps stuff that you go down in a submarine to see. Very horrifying. It's another planet, it really is.

Oh there you go.

She's like, Okay, thank you.

I don't know why.

I don't even know that they look alike, but that girl made me, Miss Martha Kelly.

Something happened to Martha.

She's fine, I mean, and by that we mean move to Torrance. Martha's been listening and comments on our podcast, Martha Martha Love Martha real wobble. Oh wow. So that hairy thing there that looks like a plant is the shark's mouth eating that traditional shark. Yeah, so imagine, uh, you're gonna want to wear flip flops that day. That's horrifying.

So it kind of just like looks like a bunch of moss can eat like apex predators.

The inside this bush of moss is several rows of sharp shark teeth. I mean, you would have to give caffeinated children crayons and a piece of paper to come up with half of those fish and animals.

You'll see why I want so badly to drain the ocean.

You want these guys on lands.

I want them dead.

So what is the water? Where's the ocean water drain out to? That's what I want to know.

Um, I feel like these just pour pour.

Into the corainus.

Sorry, sorry, I love it.

I'm no, we haven't.

No one said that appreciated.

I think it's more of like.

The Seven Chinese Brothers, where like the water's gone whether like however it happens, you can now look at what's down there, but it'll be back, because it's just a computer concept, right, Wow, it's not the way I'm I'm making it sound like a governmental suggestion, but that's not real.

You might like, uh, glass bottom boats, taking a ride in one of those.

No, I never have. That would make me nervous. I don't even like a glass bottom balcony.

Oh you know those like bridges. I see videos of those glass bridges that like some kid steps on it and it does a little fake like crack in it or whatever.

Yeah, that is called a no way, no way worse.

I think.

Yeah, I wouldn't like that more.

Yeah, that's not I don't like pranks on kids. Also, it's just such a my phone thinks I do you made it think that I watch a lot of them and like them, but not actually enjoying them.

Oh, you're just hitting my thumbs are big.

Accidentally. Yeah, maybe I like it. There's a you know I follow One of the first things I ever followed was called kids getting hurt. They don't really get hurt. They trip over ten poles or or get scared by a cat. You know, they're not actually being injured.

I feel like you're digging a deeper hole.

You would love this more than you would love them first told me about it.

There, I will say, there is something. There is something to seeing like a little a little kid. You know, they they have they don't have as far to fall right, So that's I don't know effected that in. You know, it's like may is a little more okay to laugh, you know when a kid trips over something.

Yeah, but alan to subscribe to kids getting that's different.

Here's the one that pulled me in. There was like ten kids getting out of a tent and they're sweet little they're toddlers, they're ready to go camping. They had little headlamps, and each one of them tripped out coming out of not learning by watching the kid in front of them. They all spilled out of this tent like it was a clown car, and every single one of them fell and they kept falling, and I laugh so hard.

Here, Alan, have you ever won father of the year? Uh?

Seven years running?

Sonny says it. Therefore, it has.

A little little word show for me.

Wouldn't that be the cutest?

That would be cute that happen.

My any I gave my dad a shirt that said anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy, And I feel like that shirt didn't age well.

Agree, Yeah, but every time I switch.

I bet it's googled. But we could buy that shirt right now, your Zaddy version. It's out there. Anything I think of, I look it up and it's on a shirt, but that's next day printers usually anything you say, hey do you like this shirt? It said you like watching kids get hurt?

It said you like to hurt kids.

I don't want people to know I just mentioned it on the podcast.

It's it's a reference to the thing we all know we don't like that.

Yes, yeah, I play the villain on this show, much like the explosive drug dealer. I like it's falling as one of my many characters. Who are you meeting? Tell us who you're meeting, what their names are.

Of movies?

You know, it might be like for you know, I don't know who all's going to show up. It was like it was Mookie posted it on a little thread of UCB fun and uh, I don't know who. Sometimes it's just a little surprised.

I have a feeling, Yeah, you're about to meet people.

I like, oh, yeah, well you're welcome to come.

I think you had to say that because of the way I appreciate the but I got a very full I gotta drop off some balls.

You're all caught.

Well, you watched the first one, yeah, and I'm not kidding, and now you're I was so affected by that. I then watched the one before that.

I can't old older one.

It's the one right after the one where James Franco is discovering a cure for Alzheimer's and on left Gow is his dad and it is of course both of us would cry at that. It's the Alzheimer's thing, but that wasn't that was too much human interaction. Once these apes are wearing little hats. I guess they'll wear hats clothes,

Yeah, No, I think there'll be some good apes. I think that there's just like a lot of there's a lot of apes.

And now drump Carnelius didn't really die, see, I know a little. I know a little bit going into it.

I'm not sure I'm gonna have to skim a little. Uh, I don't know, some kind of summary. Yeah, what's happened because it's been a minute for.

Reading the book right before.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to the bookstore just kind of put my feet up and read there.

Yeah, there's there's a whole underbelly of people that do that daily bookstore hangout, bookstore loiterers to the level where they'll go, excuse me, you're in my regular seats.

Forging. She's forging, she's stealing cheese, cheese weed.

I always wonder when I see I mean, she had a nice thrasher.

Magazine of Manila. I've always wanted to go to Max's of Manila.

It is inviting, isn't that meat? They got that second story hot top it does.

That is really cool looking.

Oh my gosh, I've done stand up there. No, yes, I'm up where there's those pillars.

There was that uh.

Me and our friend that Robert Hawkins. Oh yeah, when I first moved here. Yes, I've been in that building and done stand stand up a long time ago. Weird, I don't it's weird. Driving around l A. I think I'm in a part of town I've never been to. I'm like, oh, no, I actually have done stand up and most of these buildings. Yeah, yep, I vividly remember that was the night I met bj Novak wows on the old office.

Oh, another flood of nostalgia.

Care yourself.

You stop and look around every once in a while and see what happened.

I'm afraid of losing my mind, So anything that comes up in my memory, I blurt it out and share it.

That's podcasting, Yeah, verbal sudokus, That's what I do, Allen.

I think we're going to drop you off like it'll be wherever you feel comfortable.

I think you're feel comfortable.

You just have a ball in these streets.

Oh yeah, Look I can get out anywhere, any any flat surface.

You can handle any of it.

Yeah.

What if we leave you off in a big pothole, that's right.

I don't want that a slide incline.

Yeah, if it's a slide incline, I don't have any of these shoes or these are just some dance shoes. Yeah, they're gonna slide me right down.

To slide down the streets.

Yeah, we'll just open the door and rolling it down a hill.

No, right, something Glendale's relatively flat here in the in the I don't know, the foothills.

Yeah. I guess that's why people on this street drive like it's the auto Bond, because it's nice and flat and straight. It is.

Well, this has been a delight. I'm so happy. Thank you so much for having me. This has been so fun, absolutely great. This is how long y'all been doing this?

Now we constantly wish we knew, but it's I'm going to say, eleven years.

Years and years.

Yeah, that's amazing. Congratulations, that's so cool.

Thanks so much.

Well, and you know, good luck to you getting any kind of an improv group back.

Thank you, thank you. Yeah, I know maybe, yeah, maybe twenty twenty five. I'll start getting it together.

Don't rush it. I think that's what's important with the improv.

Yeah, right, is it is?

This?

Are we am? I hopping out here?

I think?

So?

Okay, I can't turn in there?

Yeah that's the Maericana right there yet?

Yeah?

Okay, yeah, thank you. I will get an improv group together and claim it after.

Karens. I would love that so much.

It's good to see you all.

Good to see.

Yeah, isn't that interesting? You don't know about how I've been disfigured.

Thanks, thank you to see you.

I always feel bad when you're dropping someone off and there's cars behind you. Yeah, and you're like, yeah, bye bye, get out, get out, and it seems like a bad way to end a podcast.

It is great, Uh huh, you.

Gotta get out now, but we have to end it now too.

Oh god, well, I hope that he doesn't listen to that part. I didn't. Oh, this person's backing into us and a strange decision. The hazards don't mean I'm going in reverse.

And also, hazards don't mean that what you're doing is what you're supposed to be doing.

This is the street. Brand Boulevard is the street where if we want to have an episode where we're just like, what the hell are you doing? Why are you driving this way? Episode? This is where we do it.

I mean I was kind of doing it myself as well, and in front of a cop, but.

It's everybody Glendale rubs off on you fast. You've been listening to this special episode, I'm just gonna put it in that category of do you need to write I don't know.

You just liked it? Yeah I did, Yeah, it was really good.

Do you need a Ride d y n he r.

This has been an exactly right production produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh You're welcome