S4 - Ep. 43 - Karen & Chris

Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gaye ad.

We want to.

Send you off in style.

You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it.

We scared her?

Was it fine?

Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need do you ride to ride?

Do you need with Karen and Chris you're listening to do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

Chris, you did the ending speech at the beginning.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of times we are at our peak performance wise at the end of a podcast, so I thought I would.

Just start it in the end.

Yes and no. This is another example of me not admitting my mistakes. It is embarrassing.

I'm so sorry I embarrassed you and call.

How often do I say welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks. It's been twelve years, I believe, and they still don't know who you are. See. I take the mirror when it's on me, and then I shine it in someone else's face.

That's right.

Guess what, you're also a vampire.

Guess what, it's not just my mirror.

Yeah, two can look into this mirror, Dracula. But I do welcome you all. We are in the car driving on what most people would describe as a gloomy day. I would disagree. This kind of weather puts a pep in my step.

It is strange for it being middle of May to have this San Francisco weather here in Los Angeles.

Yes, but I don't mind it.

I just started with an air conditioner on yesterday and had to turn it off and then turn the heater on today.

That's a bit of a Yeah, that's a lot.

I love the fickle weather, and I love knowing the sun is not damaging my skin, which I've thanks to you and focused on.

Yeah, not to mention my eyeballs because you're wearing sunglasses.

I never wear sunglasses, and now that I have prescription glasses, I wear them even less than never. What that's the.

Prescription makes me wear my sunglasses all the indoors.

I gotta get some. I gotta get yet another pair with tint. And I do not mean transitions good. The moment in between a clear transistor transition lens and a tinted one is a moment where you will scare me if you walk in the room with your hazy purple tint.

It is that moment where Gary Ridgeway became the Green River Killer. It is in that moment.

Yeah, on either end of the literal lens spectrum, he would have been an upstanding citizen.

I did just watch about Larry. He is a scary, scary person who Gary garynn Larry his brother. He had two brothers named Larry. And the fact that all those years he was on New Art, I mean killing.

People right in front of America.

It's two brothers named Darryl. I'm bad at improv, but limprov is not not Yeah, started by Limpress lamp Limpressed. I am just gonna get out here, goodbye.

I don't want to be.

Embarrassed in front of our guests. But today we're doing two episodes. This first one is a solo. Even though Karen and I are two different people, we do share a mirror.

We're both looking at the same vampire mirror. Yes, we have for quite some time.

And we never There's not a lot of visuals with this podcast, but We always record in a two neck hold sweater that we both wear.

Yep, we record cheek to cheek like many of the famous can join twins.

Yes, yeah, sometimes only one of those twins will have a music career and the other is just along for the ride. I saw it on.

TV Matt Damon and Greg Canaar.

Uh.

Yes, it's Farelli Brothers or fairly if I want to say it correctly. I New Year's Eve last year, my buddy Doug and I did at the club in Austin.

And what's Doug's last name Mellard?

Close to the duck but not quite the same Doug Mellard and I At the end of the show. Our plan for New Year's Eve after the countdown was to wear this two headed sweater together. That was the only plan we really had. And the putting on of the sweater made me lose track of time, and we started the countdown a good one and a half minutes after midnight, and the crowd really took it personally. Yeah, it ruined everyone's So I'd like to apologize to that room full of fiscal conservatives.

They don't accept your bullege.

They not. They want me to pull myself up by my bootstraps.

They want to remind you that you had two jobs. Yeah, and you didn't do one of them.

And it's okay to not have a job. But I also didn't have the wherewithal to publicly become part owner of Dell Computers, which is why their children were driving Lamborghinis to the show. It the comedy club. I love Cap City, It's my home club. I love everyone involved. And it's just when I went there, I thought I was going to Austin, and it is a outside portion of Austin known as the Domain, which is very scary,

Yeah, that's a full answer.

They were not employees. I do know that part of the answer.

They were early stockholders.

I guess so, kind of like Tesla and these other companies in the beginning they were publicly you could like become part owner or the Green Bay Packers. Yeah.

Can you imagine just being having a license franchise, just.

And being a part of the community, getting that cheese right into your head, knowing that as you watch a game, you're also one of the players. Oh, I wish I could have sunk my teeth into one of those early investments.

My dad had early Apple stock, which I think was the thing that kept him in a good mood throughout the late eighties and nineties.

Wow.

But then in the market crash of two thousand and was it six or seven?

I think eight and if they were talking housing, but.

Then everything else went, his stock crashed, And then I said, oh my god, are you so upset?

And he goes, no, that's how it works.

Yeah, And I said, thank god I got you for a dad, and not some fucking psycho.

Right. My dad was real casual about his loss of many, many, many many dollars. Dad's just it was that era.

Well, and if you have a good dad, they're smart enough by that age to know that yes, we all want security, but if you have it, if you have enough financial security already, you don't need that extra shit.

You can lose it, and you can lose it, and that's a chance for you to.

To be exactly like that. In that moment.

They may have been furious privately, right, but they demonstrated like a leadership quality to us, which is, we're already fine.

Yeah, I do not possess that I would lose it.

The gyms have it covered for us. We can do what we want.

You would think I would have a piece of that, with my mental name being James.

Well, you did already admit that you were wrong, and you know take the hit on that.

That's a great Oh on our last viral clip, could.

We post it?

No, you just did it on this episode.

Our last viral clip. It went viral. As far as I know, I was admitting how I was wrong in that moment. Krit It was very fun I re listened to it several times.

It's very funny. It sounded a little like Jimminy glick.

Yeah any time.

But I think it's so rare these days that a straight white man can just say, oh, I'm sorry, I did that wrong.

I'm learning, you're doing great. I'm learning. I don't know that I was that way even a handful of years ago.

We didn't have to be right, But now I didn't.

Have to be right. I went and saw because it was free ticket time. The One Netflix is a joke festival event at the Hollywood Bowl. I watched Sebastian Maniscalco Seinfeld, who didn't talk about politics.

And.

Jim Gaffigan and Nate Bergatzi went up first. They pulled straws and Nate destroyed was got a standing ovation and he is a comic that does not try at any point to be funny, whereas everyone else. You could tell. It's not the best. It's an outdoor venue. It was a ton of people. You can't hear the laughs, I'm sure because it's the sky. Is there one thing I know about the sky being their laughs get sucked into the clouds.

It doesn't like your material.

Yeah, And so they all were pushing it a little harder, which is what I would have done. You know, you cross your teeth, your eyes and cross your legs. You cross your eyes and dot your legs, and I h Yeah. Nate was so good, and I realized he does a relatable admitting its flaws, but not in a I'm down on myself way that I tend to lean into. He does it a perfect balance, which makes him relatable to all. Yeah.

Also, he was such a wild success hosting Saturday Night Live, and I think that's probably one of the hardest things people can do. And if you do it and you kill it, I think there's very there are very few gigs after that that are going to put that same kind of nervousness into you. Right, and you have just really way bigger muscles from more recent times.

Yeah, Yeah, you can tell he's just got the juice.

He's just so good though. I mean, and he always has been. It's like, that's the coolest thing. His comedy is always Sorry, what if I started crying because I loved Nate.

Yeah, and I just realized and I look and see all these pictures of him on your dash.

And here in the glovebox there's a little shrine.

Yeah, I did. I could tell, And it also was inspiring for me, like I'm going to try that. He did stand up in that venue and on SNL. Is if it was just fifty people at a comedy club in the beginning of his career. Yep, casual, no nervousness.

Yep, it's great, He's great.

That is my report on one of the more notable things I've done in the time we've been apart.

Cool.

Yeah, congratulations.

It seems like I'm bragging. I went to a big, fancy comedy.

Should I say, Well, let's see. Oh well, I went and saw. I went to New York for my birthday.

Yeah. I always do that. Yeah, I'm a big fan. You know what. People always appreciate it. I sure do on the streets say hey, I like your stuff but then leave, but go.

But also this felt it was very New York theater people, so I was like, well.

How do you say Cole's last name esla at Scola. I guess I've never said that out loud. But they make me laugh very much.

They are the funniest but it's such an interesting, funny thing.

God damn, they're a good singer.

Yeah, having that in your back pocket trained, Oh, I've had an entire other life where I did this. Yeah, it's a nice surprise.

It's a real because at the end of the day, everybody loves it. Makes me think of when I was in high school and we had a like a school assembly and the people from the San Francisco Opera came up to Petaluma to give us like a demonstration of what they could do. And of course I was stoked because I love all performing and I was like, yeah, let's see this shit. But I was so scared because it was like a school full of bullies and assholes, and I.

Was like, they're not going to appreciate this.

And these fucking people rang that auditorium like a bell, like it was mind blowing how loud they can sing and how good it was, and just how inarguably talented they were.

And everybody was like standing ovasion.

Yeah, all the bullies stopped arm wrestling to go.

I love the arts. I also need the.

Arts in my life. Right. It's so funny that we had such different high school experiences because the only thing I can compare that, to compare to that is the Power Team coming to my They would flex their muscles kind of for Christ, for God, and they would remind you often and then they would rip apart. Was it the Bible that doesn't seem the telephone book and just do feats of strength while drunk for the Lord. And they're still active today, are they? They just do tours

They hang around in high school parking lots and wait for the call.

Yeah, and so the same kind of crowd. Most of the guys in my class, you know, used to fight on the weekends, and so that just got them riled up in a different way. They'd fight each other or fight like oh strangers. It was a weird I just was thinking about this last night. The nineties were a very violent time, yes, but in a old timey. Hey, I'm gonna punch you because it's the weekend, and what else are we're going to do. We're all driving around downtown.

Yes, we'll settle this outside energy with everything.

And it was, you know, it was just everyone had rifles in their gun racks, but nothing nothing. No one ever thought about that. It was just a different type of violence.

Yeah, mono a mono.

Yes. See. I most fights I saw growing up, I would be the only one crying in the audience. Sometimes cars would be fanned out in the middle of the road, ksey lamps and lights turned on, and I would watch my friend punch someone in their twenties and get just many scary memories and I would get emotional, but there was always a handshake at the end, that old timey, good decent, good game. It is something I appreciate now but was just confused about. Then they're shaking hands.

Now, good game. Call nine one one. I agree. My esophagus has collapsed.

Yes, it's it was just that that's not happening now, and I suppose that's a good I.

Think it's for the better.

The same thing used to happen in both high school with the people I went to high school with, and of course in college. But by the time we were all in college, we were really used to it. But so the guys my sister hung out with, we'll get in fights every weekend, like every night of the weekend. And the girls that the the girlfriends of the guys they were fighting, would stand next to like my sister and be like stop Cody and like scream and shit, and she'd be like, hey, sit down, this is gonna

Just calm down, and they if and four minutes is long, yes it is.

With that with hands to the face wireless.

It was four minutes of constant back and forth. That is two exhausted people. Yeah, there's a reason a round of boxing is only three. Don't quote me on that, but it's funny. I'm remembering now one of the early when I recorded a few episodes in Montana on my own a decade ago. I kind of drove around those roads and I'm like, describe the scary fights and just submitted it. And you probably never even.

No, I don't listen to this podcast.

I do. I've started to. I think it's pretty good, is it. Yeah, we're good. We have a thing, certainly a rapport, and you can tell we do our research that.

We really care.

At the end, I always say a non truth.

Just to throw it out there as a test.

Two truths and a lie. My favorite party game.

Here's what I don't like about me No, no, oh, sorry about drive time traffic. Yes, is the fucking stop and go of those two right lanes. Like if you're over there, this lane could be going full tilt. That lane can be starting to go full tilt and then come to a complete stop and the people behind you don't know right, And then when you go to get out of that lane.

You're donning it toward a stopped car.

Yep.

Just want to remind everybody this is a real car ride.

Yes, and we will give you the details and hopefully you pick up on some of the advice. If you're in the far left lane, it is for the people going fastest. If you aren't planning on going fast, get out of it, get over, get over to the right.

Please get over yourself.

And speed up.

Ate Bargatzi, get over yourself.

Let me scoot up to your career.

Nate.

Remember that time in a van and we chewed kodiak together, bonding over the fact that we didn't care about the health of our lips. That's a true story.

It doesn't sound true, yeah, I.

Know, because it's so landish. It's like you can't even write stuff like that because it's boring to talk about.

It's like a real la story.

I came here with nothing but some hopes and dreams and a can of tobacco.

Making friends with chewing tobacco.

And I've quit that. I've quit making friends with that stuff.

Smart.

But yeah, what we're experiencing now is I believe in inversion. We don't have to worry about weather today, which would cause sound problems. I think how many podcasts have we done in the rain.

It's only a handful.

Yeah, well, those are the episodes you can fall asleep to, really any of them? Look those up? I think there are no Rain episodes.

Try to like do a crossover with like a sleep app Oh yeah, fifty more. I don't know what the fuck's going on. Yeah, yeah, calm would have been good. Okay, hold on, that's why I'm here. Take two mm hmm. Those episodes you can find on the call map.

Yeah, o, colab, we did.

Let me finish.

Sorry, those rain episodes we did?

Oh yeah, those are available over on the call map for three ninety nine apiece.

We have figured out how to monetize those.

Oh you just wanted to brag about how we were making money.

It wasn't even funny. Okay, take forth, I'll take it out.

And if you enjoy that's the pitter patter of rain.

Go over onto the call map.

Yeah aggressively, yello screaming it.

Go to the comap.

Jug hold your breath for the punchline.

Did that's ah? The anti Bargazzi delivery system right.

There, blurting, unpredictable panic, clench it, shove it out of your mouth.

When you first well not even just first started. I did.

This was me for a long time when I was doing comedy is I would get nervous, and I would be.

Frustrated to be nervous because I.

Was like, I know, I just want to do good, and I know being nervous is going to make me not too good, right, And then I would just become very short of breath, so it kind of run out of air, and the audience knows you're doing it and knows why it's happening, so they can't be comfortable, right, and then you just kind of like a like a balloon losing its air slowly in the corner. You just kind of eat it quietly until you're done with your set.

Yeah. I think that when you meet people that actually say, I do not enjoy stand up comedy. I've met people, even people that have a sense of humor, they can't handle how makes them feel to see a comedian not fail, yeah, or just being nervous, or they put themselves in their shoes and then they can't enjoy it. Yeah, And I'm starting to understand that, right, well.

Because you can't you as the stand up comedian can't afford to entertain that mindset.

So you've taught yourself how not to even address it.

Right, But I just pretend it's not happening.

It's not that's not real. Don't worry about it.

I'm afraid, I very much. I've always done that. But I'm trying to take my time, take my breaths, and take my beta blockers, and then that takes your nervousness. It doesn't take it away, but it doesn't make you react in a shorter breath, handshaking type of way.

Oh does it make your give you dry mouth?

It?

Certainly yes, and leg spasms. But but I'm worth it. I have a little one like if it's a big scary audition and you blow it because you show your nerves, which I have done countless time.

That's all I've ever done.

I only wish it's a it's a it's a the stars use them. It's not something you should take rigor regularly. Mm hm. Always had trouble with that word and Steph, Yes, but I am. I'm going to take a little bit of a beta blocker for this. An upcoming golf tournament that isn't celebrity comedian. It's just pros and ams. Oh, I'm gonna be one of the ams. Yeah, it's a big one and I'm nervous already. But if I take that little blocker, it shuts out some of the voices.

No, does that affect performance?

If you are not tapped in authentically, you're.

That's the thing. And I'm I'm speaking about this this drug without knowing much about it or having ever taken it. Oh, it's just been prescribed to me by passers by that don't know me.

The unsafest way to take drugs.

Actors and people that get voices. I self sabotage in the moment with everything, especially physical things skateboarding and golf, Like, I know I can do something, and then there's a voice and with stand up. This voice in my head says, let's let's see what it would feel like to blow it right now, or just have your mind go blank, or do something weird with your elbow as you bring the club face up, or maybe let's just see what it feels like to have the skateboard blast into your

I think it's Eagle Rock.

That is the great Eagle Rock.

Because look, it looks like an eagle.

It sure does, wow, doesn't it. It looks like the muppet eagle that does the news.

Yeah, there he is the eagle.

Yes, Samuel Eagle, the h Peabody Award winning you're analist. People climb on that rock.

I also love self sabotage myself, and one of my favorite ways to do it is to actually look into the audience and see who you can see, and see who you can immediately tell a story about all the ways they hate you, and get so lost in that story that you can't even focus on what you're supposed to be saying.

Yeah, because you're not saying this story out loud to the people. You're keeping it.

To yourself while you do your dumb jokes that you've done twenty nine times. So then you're just like, man, this guy fucking hates me because he's blonde.

I better focus on him.

Yeah, yeah, just because of the way his arms are crossed and his shirt pattern, I know he does like me.

Andy's a Nazi.

Yes, usually usually, Yeah, it's amazing this thing that I have in my pocket that i'm saving, Well apparently lessens that voice. And you know I'm not a big drug dealer.

Not But if you want some, say the word.

Say the word. I've got a whole bag of them.

How about now that we've made it to Pasadena? Can you smell my shirt?

No? It smells Grayton here.

I have a concern a sour shirt smell concern almost all the time.

And you mentioned it happens after a shirt has maybe stayed damp too long, and not the driver. When I brought up mildew, you said no.

Never I shouted no when I slapped you on the knuckles.

But if I were to describe the smell of mildew, the word sour would be the first on the.

List, would it, really? I don't. I think mine is more of a there's always something going on with my washing machine, and so it just feels like it should have run in the washing machine longer with more soap, but it didn't, so because it didn't didn't get fully clean.

The way it was supposed to.

Do, right, I always use plenty of soap sometimes it's a bad thing.

Yeah.

The first time I worked a comedy club in Dayton, Ohio, I was featuring for the great Eddie Gosling, oh and Ryan Singer was emcing. This was two thousand and one or two. I The condo was a like twelfth floor apartment, and I went to do the dishes, trying to be responsible. I didn't grow up with a dishwasher. You put the

Feet of phone and I did damp it tripped it then turned to soapy water that damaged I don't even know about the damage because I left town.

Yeah. Smart, Yeah, it's uh oh, that was such a memorable weekend.

You know what's funny too, is because that is a very understandable mistake, So like the idea that that mistake is so wildly out of control when it must happen often right on.

No one was on my side, Yeah, I was, even Eddie Gosling.

Eddie laughed his ass off. He couldn't believe I did it. I'm like, I do I have to yell that I grew up for I mean, hand washed dishes. I only know this liquid stuff to be for dishes. The powder that's rich people. Yeah, maybe we did have a dishwasher. I just wasn't. I didn't have a lot of chore.

You didn't actually do the dishes. It's different than growing up so poor you didn't have.

The dish True, it's true. I think on the fourth floor of my childhood home we did have a dishwasher. Jesus, Yeah, that third kitchen. But I don't know. Every time I asked about it, our butler was like, don't snap back at me.

You're like, wait a second. Butlers aren't supposed to talk like that, are you my father?

I just realized, Yeah, oh, so many costumes, so much confusion. It's being homeschooled. Now I'm the gym teacher. Now I'm the class bully.

Now I'm the care taker, sorry, undertaker to the undertaker of the wrestler.

Yeah, the school's gravedigger for all those students, the.

Six students school.

Oh man, Yeah, that was that's quite the weekend that that was. You know, I don't like pranks ha ha I got you. I lied, Yeah, and you were scared. It's the first holiday. Yeah, I was that. I kind of knew that i'd turned the apartment to a phone party because the guy called me, the club owner called me at six am and said, what are you still doing there? You're supposed to be a morning radio And I'm like, oh, I've heard of morning radio. Oh no,

Oh?

Yeah.

I don't remember his name, but I remember his face etched into my list of enemies.

Etched into your ear listening on the phone.

Yes, maybe to this podcast.

Hey, Jim, here's here's the thing, Jim.

Yeah, Jim.

Pranks are all fun and games until you're calling people on the phone at fucking six am.

Are you joking?

Yeah, on the heels of us, just praising all gems.

Yeah, pranks. Jim runed it for the good gems.

Yeah.

Yeah. I also left in Dayton, Ohio, where I saw Dave Chappelle at the skate park doing three sixty flips.

Oh.

That's the part of the story I tell the most because he used to be a little skinny skater kid. He sat at the bar and didn't watch any of our shows. But he was nice.

He was a child, he was tired of comedy.

I knew him from from that weed movie Baked Faith, Baked Half, the Baked Half. But I was doing a thing to add time to my act, where I drew picture like a Bob Ross thing. I had an easel and I would do these drawings that gradually became sexually explicit to me. It was my last episode of my PBS show. I would wear a curly wig and it was called the Imagination Station, and you know, pentagrams and sexual things ensuit with drawing trickery. It was actually, now

Oh you You didn't keep the easel.

I left it in the condo, but it was safely brought back. Nice maybe baby by that. There's a sweet man, Jim that I spoke ill of. He did it. I think he did it for me.

But you wouldn't take just one extra moment to get your fucking shoe.

I it was across town. It wasn't the day of ubers and easy ways to transport yourself. Okay, I was drunk, care of it's not what you want to hear it. I was probably throwing up. I knew I had a flight the next day. You stay up all night and you'd drink your friend whiskey. That's probably what exactly happened.

Yeah, well, at least you organized something. Yeah you got the important part. You didn't steal an easel for no reason and leave it somewhere.

No, Yeah, that's good. Very responsibly responsively extensively. Uh, I'll just get out here. Well I arranged for it, yes, smart, Yes, we're on our way to our friend. Friend of the show, David Huntsberger lives just past this up this daunting bridge. Not bridge, it's like a I think it is a bridge. It's just walls.

Oh, maybe have some retaining walls that were built to look like a bridge.

Yes, it's very of course featured in the movie Chinatown. But I he had hernia surgery and they needed and will need help as he recovers. Taking his children to school and I literally just needed to put them in and out of the car seat and we had it was so fun.

Yeah, a little, a little so what it's like to be a dad, Just that one tiny part.

Yeah, that's all I need. And uh yeah it was a great It was a great time.

That's nice.

Yeah, it's it's it was enjoyable. I may I may do it again.

I mean, don't spoil them.

No, no, I've learned from my years in daycare. Uh there's a daycare center next to my apartment. I had a few hours a week. Really, I did not spoil.

There's no way they would just let some random work at the daycare, would they.

Yes, Oh, I was friends with the owner, Jesus Christ. I was great with those kids. Are you kidding me?

They individually wrote me letters of pictures of me driving to Texas to start my comedy career.

They had to.

It was the assignment that maybe maybe their parents put them up to it.

You think about it.

Yeah, did I get that. At the beginning of the day, I said, Okay, we're all going to draw pictures today to send.

Me off to Texas.

Kip, so all your well wishes and nothing negative.

They'd say, okay, Chris with a mustache, because that's what they called me.

So you'll go.

First, old man, and you won't use your turn signal too late.

Did you see he turned it on halfway through?

Oh? Wow, enjoy your senior year.

I bet you're not even graduating with a three point five.

Yeah. The only graduating you're doing is the cylinder graduated cylinder in the science class. Here, let's do it again.

Okay, take two. Uh, you're a full senior year. We'll only get a three point five.

Yeah. Yeah, you're not graduating.

Cylinder.

Oh yes, unless we're talking about a cylinder. You'll never be graduated unless we're talking cylinders. There we go.

It is it is, and.

You've been listening to need a ride?

D y n A are did we really just stop?

Sure?

Was that a quick one? Oh that's all right?

Well that could be the ending. It could be, but good luck stitching anything into the middle.

Consider this bonus content since we did just wrap the credits and rolls.

Oh okay, but now we're gonna play bloopers.

This is a yeah post a post show talk down about what didn't didn't work?

Yeah, yeah, definitely the redoing of jokes hilarious. It was a great idea on paper the whole time we wrote it out here. But there's been times we've had like a forty five minute episode. Yeah, that one's like I want my money back. No.

I think most people are satisfied if it's over thirty minutes, and happy if it's over forty five.

Right, although we have on average done like our hour ten. Right.

Yeah, so you've given more than enough and now consistently you're all given us guff for this this maybe forty five second episode if you're lucky.

This just the constant bitching about this episode.

Why do you keep going on and on?

We read your email. We got your tersely worded long handed email. Uh regular mail?

Yes, sorry, yes here, we've got your curtly or tersely hand take for you. We've got your Curtly tersely. Now I want that on my desk in the morning with your badge. Take four.

Yeah, I'm too old for this shit.

I'm too old for this shit. Got to me on a toilet with a long beard.

Isn't that what you said the night that you dressed up like you were on a toilet on Halloween?

I guarantee I did, because I always thought it would be funny to cut it, like if you were doing pranks while filming a lethal weapon. If during the iconic line read he was like, I'm getting too old for this ship. If it showed him then on that scene where he's stuck on the toilet because it's.

Got a bomb on it, right, let me think. Let me I honestly think that I just did and have been doing a Doug Benson joke, because I think he has a joke where he says I'm getting too old for this ship and he points down it is the same. Oh yeah, okay, sorry Doug.

Props to Doug Benson.

Yeah, but the checks in the mail. Please don't be litigious.

Doesn't it seem like there's no traffic anywhere and it's kind of creepy, Yeah.

Wide open roads.

Yeah, whenever it feels like that, I'm like, should I be listening to the radio? Yeah, we've been told to stay indoors and I'm just walking around whistling.

Where's Julia Roberts right now? Me?

T help me everything? You know? Julia? She used to live somewhere near me in Venice. Really, she'd have big sunglasses, but she has such a recognizable mouth that I was like, that is Julia.

Roberts, lifelong famous person forever.

Yeah.

Did you ever see Mystic Pizza?

I love Mystic Pizza. Pizza, Mystic Pizza Pizza. It is to be called where are you pointing at?

I was supposed to turn down there?

Oh okay, but I was laughing Pizza It's okay. Who is the the actress in that that is always good?

Yeah?

And has an interesting voice?

Name?

She's the one that gets together with the with the married man. Accidentally, Yes, that is I want to say. Okay, it's Annabeth Gish. Her grandmother or maybe great grandmother was Lillian Gish, one of the first famous actresses in Hollywood.

I'm thinking, and I love that history, but I'm thinking of someone else.

You're thinking of the one that's all business short.

Yes, sadass Yes, I like her and everything.

Yes, and Lily, Yes, Lily, Yep, it's Lily, Lily, Lily hal damn joy Lily.

Lily, who was also in Sae Anything. She's the woman that rand yeah fifty six songs.

About Yes, stop yelling, Tomlin.

It is Lily blank Lily one syllable.

Yes, I'm gonna look it up. I mean, that's what it's resorted to. You guys, this is a podcast where I look at my phone. You might as well be watching a movie with me, because I'm going to IMDb.

Lily Saylor, thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

I couldn't remember my own passcode, and it doesn't. My phone says, there's no way this is what you look like anymore.

I also was totally wrong, Oh look at giant skeleton.

Yeah, year round.

I was totally wrong about it being one syllable that hurts me.

I was just flat wrong.

About that, right right. You don't care when the word itself isn't coming up but when the rhythm of that word.

Is off, then it means I'm off right, I might as well hang it up, sir, Please be careful in the bird scooter.

Yeah, I almost feel like he because of that helmet. There is so little confidence in it boots bird scootering. What is happening? Bird scootering ability?

We may have been struck by an invisible laser, right.

I think that's what happened, and it went right to my frontal lobe, which assembles words. Oh, I fix her upper. What if it's our.

Guests not looking good? We'll go up here?

No?

What? This is an interesting episode where we're we're still recording and we are picking up the guests for the next episode. This is like a perfect teaser.

Should we stop it and start I.

Think we should stop it and start again.

Okay, this is where we cut together my ending, where I end it for the first time in twelve years.

I love it. I didn't know you've been wanting to.

I don't think I did want to, but I did it because I see an opportunity and I'll fucking take it.

That's me.

Yeah, and I've just every part of me is itching to say, you've been listening.

Do you need a Ride? Do you yan a R?

Double ending?

This has been an exactly Right.

Production produced by Analise Nelson.

Mixed by Edson Choi.

Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you both.

You're welcome